With Lindsay “Cracken” Lohan’s career dissolving into crack smoke, crack shenanigans and crack violence years ago, Mother Crackhead Dina Lohan has always been looking for a way to successfully pimp out her other daughter Aliana. Ali is 19 years old now. She’s already a failed “model” after she mysteriously spent MONTHS in “South Korea” last year to try her hand at international glamour modeling… or so Dina claimed. I think we can safely say that Ali is no longer a “model,” right? Right.
So it’s time for Ali’s big career reboot. College? What is this “college” you speak of? She’s 19, and that plastic surgery isn’t going to pay for itself. So Ali is going to be a “singer” now. She has a new YouTube channel and she posted this video (below). If you want to hear her yammer about how her “mama” wants to hear her sing, watch the whole video. If you just want to hear her sing, skip ahead to the 55-second mark.
Okay, it’s not like she has a completely bad voice or anything. She can hold a tune. But there’s no “there” there. Are we supposed to think, “OMG, Ali has such a great voice, she deserves a recording contract”? No. She would be eliminated from The X Factor, American Idol and The Voice in the first round.
Lindsay posted the video onto her Twitter yesterday and she’s been retweeting all of the compliments that Ali has gotten on her voice. Sigh. This story is sad.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I feel bad for her, the pressure must be immense to make money and to replace Lindsey. That’s all I have.
Agreed. The whole family depended on Lindsey for their money. They blew it all and the well dried up so now it’s Allie’s turn. This girl never had a chance.
Some people really deserve criticism, but when it comes to children or young adults that have been manipulated in a bubble for their whole lives I just feel sorry.
I did read that her brother is going to college. Maybe one of them has a chance at a normal life.
Sadly @Nico, while you are correct (the oldest brother graduated college), he too is reportedly now trying to break into the “business”. There was a story floating around about his mother planning to produce a film with him starring. And the delusion train rolls on!
Sad =[
I feel so bad for her, but she seems like a sweet kid. She has an OK voice, and she seems likeable enough. It’d be nice to see the girl be the one in the family to manage to do something good with their life. Go to school. Take anything. Just try to see a different side of life.
That made me uncomfortable because SHE was so uncomfortable. “Um…. Um…. Um. Yeah…. Um….” Complete lack of confidence and none of the spark LL had at her age. She’s not cut out for show business. That certainly doesn’t mean there is not some other calling for her, some other talent and career that she would excel at and be fulfilled by. Too bad she drank all the koolaid from Dina and thinks this is the only way.
Here’s an idea, go get a real damn job. Are these people allergic to work?
The sad thing is, this girl has probably never been around someone with a real work ethic. She’s grown up with grifters as parents and sibling. I highly doubt a real job would be something that’d be easy for her to transition into. I’d like to think she’ll do something ‘normal’ with her life, but considering her upbringing, who knows.
you’re probably right
I agree. There is also probably the knowledge that in the real world we all work a lot harder, for a lot less money. It must seem like a big downgrade to work 40+ hours a week for tens of thousands of $$ when you watched your sister make more than that for for a couple of hours of work.
My guess is that all Lohans will spend the rest of their lives chasing the fame/money dream.
This is true. Plus, although we shudder to think of it, the family does have connections in the entertainment business (possibly a few bridges left that they have not burned) and it would be a natural progression for Ali to head in that direction. That’s pretty much all they know. In any other field she would be starting on the bottom rung. While a You Tube video and “Modeling in North Korea” do not seem like great gigs, we all DO know her name.
Years ago I saw a few episodes of a reality show about Ali trying to record an album in Vegas, if I’m not mistaken. She was working with the Maloofs. I don’t remember anything about her actual singing or what happened with the album. Maybe she was just recording a single. I doubt she has a long and prosperous singing career in her future.
Another one of Dina’s gravy train ideas?
She seems like a sweet girl, I don’t think the entertainment industry is going to welcome another Lohan with open arms though.
Dina! Stop trying to make Ali happen! She’s not going to happen!
Dina is probably hoping the Cracken gets pregnant and gives birth so she can have a Next Generation.
Isn’t there also a brother, or does Dina just pimp out the girls?
http://www.wwd.com/eye/fashion/model-call-ali-lohan-6921451
She did actually model. Not beautiful, but interesting-looking for sure. Long legs! I personally think she’s cuter than Gisele Bundchen (who I don’t find attractive at all).
There are other “careers” than singer, model, actress. None of them see that.
Her voice isn’t bad. I can actually see her as a singer but not a big pop star. If she knows how to write her own music she could do well as an indie artist. I think she has a unique look and would do well with the hipster crowd if she could write her own music and play an instrument.
Many people have it worse, obviously, but it’s easy to feel sad for her because she’s at a crossroads. She’s still very young, seems healthy, no obvious addiction issues, and she lives in NYC. She could pursue a degree or train at an art school or have some kind of hustle free future. But what are the chances she’s getting good advice? And what will happen to her with no job skills?
She has an average voice. But it seems nowadays, you don’t have to have talent to be successful; so she could probably get a record deal and make money.
On another note – who does she look like? I see Dina in the structure of her face (shape, cheekbones) but she doesn’t really look like Dina. I guess Michael? But I don’t really see that either. she looks really good in the pic where she’s wearing all black.
She looked more like Dina before she got all that face work done. She used to be much prettier before the work IMO. She looked like Lindsay’s old face a bit.
Eh, she wouldn’t survive Hollywood Week on AI and man she looks old. Ali’s rendition of ‘Lohan Holiday’ is a Xmas staple that I play every year.
She has almost a panicked sense about her that makes it really uncomfortable to watch her do anything. Kind of a “please, somebody get me out of this” desperation. LL, at least, had a spark about her for a long time, while I get the feeling with Ali that they shouldn’t let her read The Bell Jar.
I actually think she has a really good tone. With some solid lessons she could be a decent singer, but “making it” is a whole other thing… and the Lohans have a terrible track record.
Very sad, indeed. Are Dina and Michael Lohan allergic to working or something? They should be pushing Allie to go to college instead of becoming their next in line meal ticket.
Pretty good! She should try singing instead of something else.
Well she has a good voice (much better than mine!), the tone of the video was kind of like “get ready to be blown away by my amazing voice! Let me unveil my talent!” As if she expected the heavens to open and a ray of light shine down upon her something… Weird.
Secondhand embarrassment.
That is all.