Kris Jenner instagrams bikini photo of herself: Photoshopped beyond recognition?

Hot on the heels of Kim Kardashian’s obviously photoshopped midriff (and butt), we have a bikini photo of Lucifer’s homegirl, Kris Jenner. Kris posted this on her Instagram with the caption “Celebrate Life.”

Now PMK is in great shape, especially for 58, I’ll give her that. This woman does not look like this in a bikini, though, even when she’s lying down and sucking her stomach in.

I’m just a casual user of Photoshop, but even I can see that one of Kris’ minions has shaved inches off her arms, stomach and legs. The left leg has uneven shadows on it. Under PMK’s left armpit, there’s a little bump that someone forgot to remove. Who do you think edits these photos for the Ks? I picture a dank basement full of pale orphans, furiously working at dusty computers, tweeting and photo editing, constantly checking their phones for text commands.



This isn’t the first time Kris has posted a bikini photo of herself. The Daily Mail reminds us of Kris’ bikini photo from August, below, which was posted “hours after daughter Kendall posted a shot of herself modeling swimwear.” This time, she got a lackey to “fix” the whole photo for her, rendering her on screen the way she sees herself in her mind: 20-something and hawt. PMK is “celebrating life” by one-upping her daughters. Remember that Saturday Night Live Kris Jenner sketch? They were dead on.




photos from Instagram, iPhoneTextGenerator and

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91 Responses to “Kris Jenner instagrams bikini photo of herself: Photoshopped beyond recognition?”

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  1. MelissaMelissa says:

    She is disturbingly competing with her daughters.

  2. Jacqueline says:

    LOLZ at her armpit! I don’t think there’s any amount of Photoshop that can change the reality that is her nose. It looks painful.

    • ray says:

      one thing she cant compete with is kims nose job

      • janie says:

        Popularity is at all time low… I think she’s setting the stage for a “stolen private sex tape” to be released of her & her boytoy! Drastic times, call for PMK to do something big!

    • BooBooLaRue says:

      *spits coffee* yes, that nose is deeply unfortunate – she should ask for her money back

  3. Dhavynia says:

    So pathetic. ..WTH is going to believe this crap? Disgusting family

  4. Alexis says:

    I have no words. I literally cannot fathom being that desperate for attention. It seems truly exhausting.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Can you imagine spending your time taking pictures of yourself in a bikini, photoshopping them and then putting them out on Instagram under the pretense of “celebrating life?” Who does that?? Is she 12?

  5. QQ says:

    This creepy bitch just makes my skin crawl… So thirsty and pressed for attention!

  6. Nicolette says:

    Get the f**k out of here. It looks like the body of one of her daughters’, with her head photoshopped on to it. While she does look good for her age, she doesn’t look like this including her face. I think she desperately wants to be Kim.

  7. Florc says:

    Kardashian is vain and uses photo shop. Also, water is wet.

    I may be somewhat sympathetic to her daughters. They didn’t have a chance with a mother like that and likely abused in some form or another from her, but I have nothing nice to say about this woman. She seems just… evil.

    • littlestar says:

      I agree, Florc. There is something about this woman that has always disturbed me. One thing I hate is her sh*t eating grin in paparazzi photos of her. She just laps up the attention, but the sad thing is, she doesn’t realize the attention is for her daughters, not her.

    • Size Does Matter says:

      Great summary!

  8. Danigirl says:

    Yes, she is in great shape but UGH. Just ugh. These people need to get over themselves and disappear.

  9. Sisi says:

    First glimpse opinion: My mom has upper legs that look similar like Kris’, almost concave, and had to go to the physical therapist because she had too little muscle mass above the knee and it was causing issues with walking and using the stairs. My grandma the the same at older age.

  10. missmerry says:

    are the Kardashians trying to do with photoshop what Shia Lebeouf did with apologies?

    Just going to ridiculous, unbelievable lengths and be expected to be called out because they did it on purpose?

    Either that, or they know that their time is up, and the only way to get people to continue to talk about them is to put things out there that are obviously fake just to give something for the public to talk about…


  11. Dani says:

    Before I read the headline I thought it was a picture of either Kylie or Kendall. Her face doesn’t even look like her face and what’s with the excess skin on the top left leg? If you’re gonna photo shop, at least do it right!!

  12. TheOriginalKitten says:


    That is all.

  13. lulu says:

    Seriously!? She is delusional! No wonder kim is the way she is!!! God woman, tacky is tacky!

  14. Vanderhootchie says:

    Their egos know no bounds, do they? This whole family makes me want to vomit.

  15. Dani2 says:

    You know who she reminds me of? The “cool” mum from Mean Girls. So cringe-inducing, and so embarassing. I understand why Kim struggles to accept the weight that she is and photoshops selfies – look at the person she calls “mother”! Who wouldn’t grow up with some sort of complex after being raised by this shallow idiot?
    I feel so sorry for poor North. I really do.

  16. taxi says:

    Maybe she can ps herself a nose. I usually associate that look with overuse of certain drugs.

  17. JudyK says:

    PUKE. That’s all.

  18. doofus says:

    why doesn’t she fix her nose? that creeps me out every time I see it.

    and yes, you can see the outlines around her limbs where they were shaved down.

  19. Kim1 says:

    This is Kim in twenty five years.

  20. Sayrah says:

    She’s a very attractive woman with her clothes on. Cover it up grandma!

  21. Liberty says:

    Someone got a Photoshop Hut coupon for Christmas.

  22. Neffie says:

    this is not of the last 20 years im sure. her body is wider than that now

  23. ZigZagZoey says:

    I would LOVE to know how much she pays TMZ. It must be a LOT. They are constantly spewing BULLSH☺T about her looking good. Granny just blew everyone away. SERIOUSLY? Yeah, from her horrendous need for attention. And bad photoshop.
    WHO does she think she is fooling?
    She’s hideous. I hope anyone that meets her says “You are SO much bigger in real life”….

  24. Dawn says:

    Puke and we wonder why her daughters are all so screwed up…it doesn’t take much to see that it all starts with mama. It is almost (and may be true) that she raised them to be sexual objects instead of well-rounded educated young women. That will always rest with Kris Jenner but these women can change it if they would like, instead they all seem to love the attention and will do and say anything to keep their ill earned fame and fortune.

  25. Mylene - Montreal says:

    How many seasons left for KUWTK ? 2 … ? … They present 2 seasons per year, so i think it’s the last year of their reign.

  26. Dimebox says:

    I turned my iPad because something was bothering me…when I did I could see that her right arm has been shopped down to a twig. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Go change your grandchild’s diaper PMK, you’re not fooling anyone.

  27. lisa2 says:

    Why is it that interesting women are not the ones tweeting pics of themselves. They have more to talk about than their bikini bodies. or other stuff. I find it so desperate and LOOK AT ME BECAUSE THIS IS ALL I BRING TO THE TABLE

    I look pretty good in a bikini too. but don’t need anyone else other than my guy to think so. I don’t get this. It is like this is all women in Hollywood are doing. now.


  28. Momoko says:

    I kept looking at the picture and kept wondering who the fuck I was looking at, despite reading KRIS, I kept thinking this was the youngest daughter.. scrolled down to see more pictures and realized at that moment, the fuck I was looking at -_-

  29. Dorothy says:

    She has to know everyone realizes this is a fantasy body, photoshopped to death and not real. Why put it out there??

  30. NewWester says:

    The first pic looks like she is waiting for her lover Satan. As for the pic where she is wearing the blue bikini and rising out of the pool I can almost hear the music from Jaws just before the shark eats someone

  31. Frida_K says:

    When I read her cell phone message, I thought it was not “Queen of F*cking Everything” with the “F*cking” functioning as an adjective. Instead, I read it as “Queen of F*cking Everything” with the “F*ucking” being a verb and the “Everything” as the direct object of same. Like she is the queen of going out and f*cking everything. And I thought: wait, she’s a ho? Hm.

    Again, not enough coffee before I appear here on the Bitchy and lo, non sequiturs abound.

  32. InVain says:

    The shadowing or “fixing” of her right boob is off too….I’m no PS expert, but it looks like the shading went wrong on that also. The best part is the left leg and arm…where you can clearly see where the lines were blurred (and not blurred – the bump on the arm)….good call CB.

    She’s pathetic.

    And like many others – that nose. Wow. My first thought was play doh.

  33. Palermo says:

    Sometimes I actually feel sorry for her kids, she has messed them up beyond belief.

  34. Relli says:


  35. karkar says:

    Her leg is so skinny it doesn’t even look like it belongs on her. They should just stop with the Photoshop already. Nobody believes it. “iF” they actually post a legit good photo nobody believes them because they always lie.

    • Stephanie says:

      The left side of her butt that you can see under the water is not the butt of a woman who has legs of that size.

  36. Ok says:

    Thanks for putting in the link to the video of the SNL skit. It was hilarious.

  37. jellyfish says:

    Does anyone else think she has had way to many nose jobs? It looks like one side of her nose was so frail it collapsed.

  38. Christin says:

    Her vanity is laughable until I realize how apples don’t fall far from the tree. I’m thinking of an apple named Kim.

  39. brumhildawayne says:

    I still don’t understand who watches the shows! Online, its extremely rare to see a kind word about them, but their shows (with an s!) keep getting renewed. So, is it that a lot of people are “closet watchers”? Hate watchers? Or are they really just raking in the dough by being a wide and willing target? I honestly have never seen an episode. Is it one of those “I know I shouldn’t be watching this, but I cannot look away!” (A problem I have with the Real Housewives franchise.)

    • idk says:

      It’s a guilty pleasure. However, I am finding it harder and harder to watch as the fakeness and bad acting keep my eyes rolling.

  40. Mon says:

    Oh god, I’m lost for words…

  41. Trixie says:

    I needed the laughs today! Love the fake texting screen cap and the SNL skit!!! Satan’s Home Girl hahahahahahaha

  42. Fue McCormick says:

    What does PMK stand for???

    • putchka says:

      Fue: pimp momma kardwhatever

    • idk says:

      Pimp Momma Kris.

      People started calling her PMK after Kim started dating Kris Humphries so as not to get the two names mixed up in news stories/blogs, etc.

  43. Gistine says:


  44. Anon says:

    Kris and Kate Gosselin are quite the narcissistic pair and pimps of their children. Disgusting.

  45. putchka says:

    I’m the same age as this moron. Who, in their right mind, a grandma hitting 60, would feel the need to advertise how “hot” they are? This family has serious mental problems. They are a symbol for the vacuous hole media has become. I still look pretty good and would challenge PMK to an IQ test. If she was smart she’d throw down the gauntlet. But she’s not. Plus her nose looks like a flaccid penis. She looks like she’s ready to be peed on! Oh wait…

    • islandwalker says:

      Same here Putchka. I’m her age, in great shape and live at the beach (and in bathing suits). My kids and granddies would kick my ass if I pulled this crap. How insecure do you have to be to try to constantly compete with your daughters? This isn’t “celebrating life”, this is deep delusion and narcissism. These displayed are the polar opposite of confidence.

    • TG says:

      Puchka – you have to say it like this “hawt”. LOL I have been laughing my butt off reading this article and comments.

  46. K-Rock says:

    Is it just me or is photoshop a hollow victory?

  47. Dagmarunger says:

    Don’t forget her first tummy tuck done way before KUWTK – I wonder if she has also had Slimlipo or another one of the newer lipo procedures with no downtime

  48. idk says:

    I think photoshop should be a mandatory course in high school. At least that way, people won’t make a fool of themselves when they try to pass of pics like these as “the real deal”.

  49. buzz says:

    into the pool with hair styled, full makeup and false lashes

  50. Ruyana says:

    I especially like the wing under her left arm. Sorta bat-like.

  51. stanhope says:

    what do you call a whore married to a drag queen? Kris Jenner
    what do you call a drag queen that is also a whore? Kris Jenner
    what do you call a whore that whores out her daughters? Kris jenner
    who’s face looks like an ass pimple? Kris jenner

  52. Ashy-pooh says:

    Looks like her nose is caving in.

  53. Suze says:

    She has to be just messing with us now.

  54. Kimberly says:

    She should thank her plastic surgeon, lipo and photoshop for looking like that. As for the 1st photo of her lying on her back, she was smart for taking a photo in that position because the belly in particular will always look flat and perfect at that angle LOL.

  55. kaligula says:

    I would actually have a smidgen of respect for her if she let her hair go gray.

    Perhaps even more than a smidgen. That would take guts. As is, all of the comments here are well-deserved.

  56. Skye says:

    “Wait a second, wait a sec!” the KweenBeast growled as she twisted her rubbery form around on the wet tile and tried to dislodge the bag of diamonds, roofies and laxatives hidden in her rectum. “Ouch, agh..ahhh, THERE.” Her grimace relaxed behind the Botox Shield as fresh venom pumped into her lips, engorging them enough to conceal her fangs. She stretched her plasticine flesh across the altar, spread her arms, arched her back, and assumed the position. “Now, Lucifer. Please. I have a wax at 3.”

    • Bitca says:

      @Skye: Thanks SO much; I’m gonna have nightmares now. Plus, they’ll probably be set in the context of a 1970s Satan flick, & at some point she’ll transform into a dragon, moaning w/pleasure on a heap of gold.

      But I think adderall tablets &/or coke intead of roofies—unless the latter are intended for kidnaping & imprisoning Harry Whatsisname—that One Direction “boyfriend” of Kendall’s?

      • Skye says:

        Nailed it! Muahhahahahahah….

        Sorry for your nightmares. Just remember:

        Lock the door and check it twice,
        Stash the cash and hide your ice,
        Mask your face, wear baggy clothes,
        draw melanomas on your nose!
        For after all the lights are out,
        the rav’nous K-Beast flies about!
        In search of youthful beauties’ blood,
        to stave off aging’s creeping crud,
        and horny witless lads of means,
        to fertilize the future kweens!
        Blow the candles out tonight,
        for if the Dragon sees your light,
        You’ll wake up with a teenaged wife,
        or drained of collagen, and life.

  57. truthful says:

    her nose is a mere shell–it is messed up, the nostrils don’t match (close up pic)

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