Gabrielle Union, 41, is engaged to Dwyane Wade, 32, who plays for the Miami Heat and has a very questionable record of fidelity. They’ve been together about four years, with the start of their relationship likely overlapping with Wade’s last marriage. It recently came out that Wade fathered a child with another woman early last year, while “on a break” from Union. He explained it by saying that “celebrity relationships are hard” and that Union was away filming at the time. Weak.
That’s background to the story that Union recently dropped a tidbit about her bathroom habits during an interview on Chelsea Handler. Union said that she told Wade that she goes three times a day, she leaves the door open, and she doesn’t light a match. Does she turn on the fan, though?
Handler: I think if you’re going to date someone you should get that [bathroom habits] out of the way
Union: From jump. There’s none of that ‘I don’t fart, I don’t poop.’ I have a high fiber diet. You’re gonna. This is happening. We’re doing this right from jump.
Handler: They need to see all the bad stuff, then otherwise when do you break it out?
Union: ‘Oh by the way, I go three times a day and I leave the door open! And I don’t light a match.’
[From E! Online via Fishwrapper]
I got this story through Fishwrapper, and they made it sound like Union was totally serious about this. She seemed like she was joking (you can see the clip here) so I’m hoping this isn’t exactly true. Maybe it is though and she was trying to make light of it.
I would like to address the “three times a day” issue. At my fittest I had a similar uh, schedule, and I remember one of my friends (a guy) bringing up the question and being surprised that someone went so frequently. Now I go about twice a day, but only when I exercise regularly. I won’t get into Dr. Oz/Cameron Diaz type details, but there’s a sense of accomplishment when you realize that everything is working well.
So in that respect I understand Union sharing the “three times a day” detail. That’s funny to me. It’s not funny that she expects her fiance to deal with her taking a dump with the door open every single time. (If that part is true.) Who does that? You close the door when you do your business, that’s common courtesy no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship. If you’re only doing number one that’s fine, you can leave the door open, but number two should always be private.
Photos are from 2013. Credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet
Keep it private and by all means, light a match, its just common sense that no one needs or wants to smell your excrements. I don’t put up a facade but I surely don’t believe anyone wants to know about it, and besides, who in hell wants their entire place to smell like a just-used bathroom?? SHUT THE DOOR.
Yeah, a little mystery has it’s place in a relationship. I shut the door, and thankfully, so does my husband.
I’m with you, and I’m certainly no prude. But I’m supposed to find you sexy and want to get busy after watching (and smelling) you take a massive dookie?
I don’t think so.
There are some things that you don’t need to see each other do, it keeps things from being too clinical….
examples,
shaving of genitals
plucking/trimming nose hairs
picking of noses
poo/pee
things like that…. I just really don’t want to see that then get down with you, sorry
Oh Dahling, You don’t get your routine colonics anymore? I still do because I detest anything so low-class as using the toilet. (I can’t even say the words! *shudder*)
😉
Well, yes of course I do dahling, I was just trying to be relatable. Is it working, do you think? You know I’m trying to revamp my image since my last assistant left without a word except for a teensy doll with a face that looked suspiciously like mine on my pillow with pins stuck in its head and the word “b!tch” scrawled on my mirror with my own Chanel lipstick which is just ruined now. Shook me up a little, dahling. Sorry to make you shudder. I know what a delicate flower you are. Mwah.
Oh yes, relatable. I tried that on once. It didn’t fit. So I chucked it.
That IS terrible! Should we perform a seance or a whole house cleansing? I know a *wonderful* shaman you might be interested in dear.
Ta Ta For Now! My nutritionist is coming over for my morning greens. Then my sommelier is coming in for our monthly meeting. Need to get everything ordered for February!
😉
My sh*t doesn’t stink.
Lmao! That’s how it is at my household; pootin and poopin is not something I ever purposely do in front of my husband. Not that he can’t EVER know I’m doing it, just that…. Ew, everything I do in the bathroom to be clean is gross to me. From brushing teeth to shaving and everything in between. I gag seeing ppl brushing their teeth, so I don’t let anyone see me doing that and more.
Why do adults think toilet humor is so cute and funny to discuss?
Yes, we all poop and it isn’t scented floral. So where is the funny part in that?
wow, it’s so “american” to me, lol (talk about poop and farting). I’m partly discussed and partly admire their boldness when ppl talk like that :)))
like, do u really want people to look at u and think of your poop every time they see u?
This is a relatively new phenomenon, and I’m not pleased about it. No one needs to hear/talk about it outside the doctor’s office.
Classy.
Thanks for sharing. I was dying to know this.
Three times a day? That seems like a lot…
I actually envy her. I wish I could go once a day.
Please try some probiotics! They REALLY help. My Mom had IBS and they got rid of of it. ♥
Feeling your pain Kiki (literally).
Oooh, you have the same issue as my mom. My mom has poop issues because for YEARS she would always hold it, because she doesn’t like going in public bathrooms at all. And if she does, it’s because she has no choice, and she hovers over the toilet seat. Now, if she wants to do #2, she has to eat McDonalds, other than that–she only goes about once a month or so—she had to get colonics regularly. I always wondered why her bathroom NEVER stunk….ever.
Thank you gals for this great advice. I have a serious problem… It’s not only public toilets ( I never use them ). I can’t go when people are all over the house. Making noise terrifies me. Also, I have to get up early when everyone is sleeping to able able to go once every three or four days. Going takes a lot of planning. That’s also why I feel I struggle with my weight! What should I do?
OMG. Did something happen to you when you were little that gave you such horrible phobias about pooping? I feel terrible for you. It’s painful.
Hey Zoey… Not really! I don’t know if it’s because my mom is very clean or the fact that my dad used to make pooping jokes when I was a child (trying to be playful, not hurtful) that somehow these comments stuck in my mind and I can’t go! I so envy this woman!
Geez, I think I might try hypnotism or something. (Although….Yikes, what if something went wrong, that could be incredibly awkward.) Does your doctor know that it is so infrequent?
I get mad if I have a day when I don’t go.
Damn, I wish you luck.♥
If you eat three meals a day, then three times a day is totally normal — or I should say optimal.
There is something just so smug about this woman,i have never warmed up to her.
Im a let it all hang out type BUT that stops with the bathroom, like, literally i cant keep clothes on at home But the bathroom things? Those have to stay a mystery
…that said I envy her poops, at my worst I can go maybe every other day at my best not helping it along with fiber or chia seeds or whatever else mmmmaaayybe once, twice if im super lucky
The lighting a match thing is so odd, can’t believe it accomplishes anything. And no one needs to see me poop.
Lighting the match does work-when you blow it out the sulfur/smoke neutralizes the poop smell. Good tip for traveling or sharing a hotel room with someone else. One never appreciates how public bodily functions are for most of the planet until you’ve traveled in a 3rd world country.
They were never on break. Great P.R. move tho. He cheated and fathered a child while they were together is the bottom line.
I know! Why is Union just going along with this? Does she want to be married to him that badly? He has how many kids now and none of them are with her. Geez I want to smack some sense into her.
Well, who knows. But according to gossip, she has her fun too.
Probably because she’s 41, and isn’t a huge star….she has her show, but who knows how many well paying offers she’ll get after that? Especially as a black woman. She probably wants a certain lifestyle, that he can provide, as long as she looks the other way. Which is sad–if it was me, I’d be getting as many diamonds and emeralds out of that sucker as I could, until I dumped him the day before the wedding…..
Why is it that lately, celebrities feel the need to share EVERYTHING…when and how they first had sex….bathroom habits….eating habits, etc. and then they get pissed when some reporter writes something stupid about them…. talk about your movie or tv show, I don’t care how many times a day you sh#t….
If I ever get married there will be a ‘his’ and ‘her’ bathroom, oh yes.
No sharing for me!
Married 20 years, three teenagers, open door policy unless guests in our home. Do. Not. Care.
Similar. However the hubby farting and belching in my presence is getting a bit tiring. I do not exposed him to the sight of me shaving – my face. We all have our own style. Otherwise there’d be so much less to talk about here…..
Me either! And I’m not cleaning ‘his’ toilet either. I simply cannot stand the sight of someone else’s mess. The only person I would clean for is my children (if I had any) or a beloved family member if they were sadly too ill or incapcitated and unable to do it themselves.
We have his and hers bathrooms, and it is fantastic!
Great, now my chicken samosas look less appetizing after reading this story. Why did I click on this article??*banginghead*
Lol!
First of all keep that to yourself and second of all please Union get some sense and be done with Wade. You were a jumpoff and then he went to another jumpoff got her pregnant and now that you’re engaged he is running around saying you guys were on a break. Whateves.
The door Gabby really needs to leave open is the front door on her way out.
Exactly!
Oh, this!
Word. Also ew.
I’m with Observer upthread. I’d love to have his and her bathrooms if I could.
Well said!!
No one needed to know that. Including her fiancé.
My comment is going to parallel why I believe the reports saying Facebook will experience a mass exodus by 2017: I really think people are starting to miss the mystery we used to have about each other. When I know everything about you -what you eat for every meal, your Candy Crush score and yes, more than I needed to know about your pooping habits – you are no longer as mysterious and intriguing to me. I will stop being interested in you to the extent that I was and will eventually focus on the newest bright and shiny. Gabrielle, honey, how do you not understand that by putting it all out there “from jump” as you say, you are killing the mystery in your relationship?
Yeah, I don’t get how people just let it all hang out on FB. I sometimes link interesting articles (that no one on my FB reads or comments on), but other than that–I don’t write anything. I don’t have any pictures up either. I have about a hundred ‘friends’/family, and I’m seriously thinking about deleting all of them except my family and the one person I actually talk to on FB….
What? I don’t get the ire at all. My family have always been people who go with the door open. We’re toilet readers/workers/drawers My husband and I have a large bathroom with a toilet in it, and we have a seat in the bathroom specifically so that the other person can hang out and chat during abutilon time. I don’t understand grown adults being weird about someone going to the toilet. It’s normal, we all do it. One of my colleagues takes a wad of paperwork with her to the bathroom at work so she can keep ploughing through even when she’s on the lav. We all know she does it. No one gives a fig.
I just. Can’t.
Paperwork? Drawings? Seriously how long do you take in there. My movements wouldnt clock over 2 minutess if I tried. In and out. Who wants to stew in those odours and also dont you end up with pins and needles in your legs after? No, no. Lots of fibre, water and gym time equals a quicker, happier dumper.
Yes, yes, and yes!! Balanced eating, water, and an active lifestyle keeps all your systems running like clockwork. Feels good to know you’re clean inside.
Why would you want to talk to someone while they’re taking a sh!t? Just because I know you do it doesn’t mean I want to see or smell it. And I can’t believe your coworker takes paperwork into the bathroom. That’s just nasty.
Horrendous. And your colleague’s behavior is repulsive. If those papers pass to the hands of people who don’t know and then found out she’s filling out forms while sh!tting and wiping herself, I doubt think they’d be charmed.
Also – “ablutions” FWIW.
Seriously!! Those documents should be “flagged” (a la George Costanza) and then burned! lol
HUH, you got me! I mistyped ablutions, therefore rendering my comment invalid.
Just to clarify – I’m not arguing to make going to the toilet with the door open, or toilet conversations mandatory. I’m just letting you know that’s what I, and my family do. Also, I have IBS, and my doctor told me if I want to poo I need to sit and relax and take at least ten minutes. So while some of you might not even touch the sides, I actually have to be in the toilet for a long time. Even if I wasn’t sick, I’d still do it as it was a common thing in my household well before anyone even knew what IBS was. My colleague is not repulsive – she’s hardly taking client documents into the lav. She’s a lawyer and if she has documents she is required to read (which can be hundreds of pages long) then she takes them with her. I’ve borrowed some of her case files that I know have been with her in the toilet – I’m not bothered because I know she hasn’t wiped her behind with the files, and also because I’m aware that the germs we encounter on phones, improperly washed utensils, buses etc are far worse than what a case file could pick up from ten minutes of simply being in a room with a toilet. Maybe it’s a cultural thing. I don’t presume to speak for all Australians but most I know aren’t offended by the idea of having an ‘open door’ policy, even if they don’t do it themselves. I just can’t understand why people here are so worked up. I don’t like toilet humour – jokes about pooing etc – but when it comes to people discussing going to the toilet, or having discussions while going to the toilet, I think it’s fine. Live and let poo.
Who the hell just sits in the bathroom chit-chatting while someone is taking a dump…How the hell long are you in there and is the conversation that important it can’t wait till you get out of the bathroom….Personally, I enjoy my ‘”alone” time in the bathroom…its the only time I get 5 minutes of peace!
Preach! I’ve never understood people who are quite happy to walk into bathrooms with stalls and continue their conversation while they’re BOTH going. I guess I’m just too much of a prude 😣
I grew up in a slightly less poo-liberal home than yours–no extra chair but definitely open doors. Then I met a man who put the kabash on that. He is a closed-door dude. At first I was a little put off but now I really like the space. We will talk about it (if it is remarkable) but don’t need a witness. That said, I fart a lot and he still laughs and calls me his dainty flower.
Also, I sincerely hope your colleague works from home and nobody else touches her papers. That is beyond filthy, disgusting, and wrong. I’m seriously trying to figure out the right word.
People complaining about Gabby but thought it was cute when Jlaw discusses her bodily functions. From my perspective, I don’t want to hear about it.
Talking about bodily functions doesn’t bother me, I do it often with my closest girlfriends, sometimes to joke around and sometimes for advice. I think it shows a lot of trust when you can talk about #2 with someone! Which is my next point – girl, if you can’t at least fart in front of him after a certain point in your relationship, then that relationship isn’t going to work out! I truly believe that too.
Agree! IMO, it’s harmless to “shoot the sh*t”!
I guess it’s because we are “American”….
I find it very annoying when people say something is “American”.
But isn’t toilet humor a slitghly american thing? I mean, I can’t think of many foreign celebrities who talk about it all that much.
Well, just because some (sh*tty?) American comedians talk about it doesn’t make it “American”. JMO!
It’s just like saying all Brits have bad teeth. Some of them might, but not ALL.
They talk about “poop” a lot on TV in some countries like Japan. It’s not an Anerican thing.
Veronica ~ YES! They are really weird about it, and stick firecrackers up their butts!
There’s a big difference between talking about poop and actually pooping in front of someone. I have no problem talking about bodily functions but I would never poop in front of someone. Only pee.
I can agree with that! I am guilty of leaving the door open plenty of times, but nobody follows me in there for a discussion or an executive meeting!
This. Only I’m bladder shy too. I even hard it find to pee if my husband’s in the bathroom with me.
Nope! Parents have been married 42 years and my mom still doesn’t fart in front of my Dad. Keep some things a little private and mysterious!! I LOATHE when my hubby farts I front of me!!!! Disgusting…
Maybe she’s taking laxatives.
I am sure that she DOES leave the door open.
The house is probably massive.
The toilet is probably 2,000 linear feet from the bathroom entryway.
When your fiancé is sleeping in a bedroom in one zip code, and you are walking to another zip code to poop in the ensuite, it wouldn’t be an issue.
Dear Gabrielle,
Yes, everyone poops. But we don’t need to know that you do and how often.
Signed,
The World
That’s one of my pet peeve!!! It’s gross,everytime my sisters and mom is going to use the bathroom,i have to tell them to close the door ugh!!
lol I think her comments are funny but maybe too much info for the public…..
3 times a day?. Sounds a little excessive. I’m more like 3 – 4 times a week. I go to gym everyday & eat a low carb diet tho. I eat a lot of fruit & veg but generally try to avoid bread, rice, pasta, potatoes & meat as they make me gain weight.
Maybe she thinks if SHE has to put up with HIS sh*t… 😉
Lololololol I think you’ve called it
I’ve been w/my husband for 20 years and he has yet to see me doing #2. Never have, never will. There are some things that I demand privacy for. And, if we know the other is coming in shortly to take a shower or something, we do the “courtesy” flush and then the final flush – not lighting matches, but still respecting each other’s senses.
When I poop, glitter and magic shoots out in a rose scented cloud.
So I don’t have any idea what y’all are talking about.
You should bottle it and call it Beiber’s BM’s……You’d make a fortune! 😆
Ha! I like the way you think.
“Buy a bottle of Bieber’s BM, guaranteed to be authentic. He makes everyone else take his sh*t, why not you? Call today!”
Hee! Awesome!
Call now and we’ll double your order, just pay separate sh*tting and handling!
The sad thing is…..Someone (or someone’s parent I should say) WOULD buy it! Hee!
Well, if she and Wade break up, we know that Terence “Baby Wipes” Howard WILL NOT be next in line to date her!
Ha! I thought of him when I read this article too!
Dear lord, I just read this thread and I am laughing my ass off. I am a girly-girl if you just look at me. Hair perfect, makeup perfect, clothes are conservative and nice…but I don’t always shut the door (unless my husband is in our bedroom and I am in our bathroom). I’ve never seen more pearl-clutching about a perfectly natural function. We poop. If we’re eating well and exercising, we poop regularly with great gusto, and it’s a fantastic thing. Very few activities are more satisfying than a great poop. I cannot believe how many people are acting this offended about poop. EVERYBODY poops. Jesus pooped. Ghandi pooped. Every single president pooped. No one is exempt-if you’re not pooping, you’re dead.
Viva la Defecation!
God, yes. I love pooping.
I’ve never really thought about the manner in which I went about my business.. “pooping with gusto” I like that.. Let’s start a movement, we could call it Pooping with Purpose.
What say you my fecal friends?! Who’s with me?
I’m with you 100%! Pooping with Purpose! Poop is Life!
(seriously, don’t get me wrong. I’m at a conference this week, and I don’t WANT to poop in a public restroom with all my peers around. I’m not trying to be rude to anyone else by forcing them to be around me while I’m doing my business, but ultimately, I’m not going to hold off by more than a few minutes to avoid offending someone. That’s how you end up with “issues” in your digestive system.)
The more I hear about GU, the less I like her. And I don’t even know if any of it is true. It’s all painting a terrible picture of her.
The best thing for getting rid of odors is ventilation. I’m surprised that so many private and public bathrooms still do not have windows. If I’m alone in my apartment or hotel room, I will have the door open just because it gets rid of odors faster than closing the door. Of course, I will always close the door if I’m with someone. However, I always prefer bathrooms with windows. You never have to worry about the next person smelling your poop because just five minutes with the windows open and the odor is gone. All bathrooms need fresh air.
They make this wonderful product called Poo Pourri that you spritz in the bowl before you go. I got a bunch of bottles to give out as gag gifts at Christmas and everyone that got one LOVED it. Now I don’t leave home without it.
Awesome! I was wondering if that stuff really worked. Must get some.
reminds me of Miranda’s 5-min boyfriend play by Jim Gaffigan on SATC:
🙁
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZlKK5uRj8k
No wonder he cheats on her incessantly.
Why yes, let’s equate a natural body function with an inability to keep your dick in your pants! She probably nags him incessantly and isn’t keeping it as tight as he wants either, right? What choice does he have but to cheat?
(I’m going to leave a little disclaimer here that in the event that you were joking, this comment should self-destruct.)