Taylor Swift covers the new issue of Glamour Mag. The editorial is so-so – I kind of wonder if Swifty doesn’t save the inspired editorial looks for the bigger, more important fashion magazines, you know? The photo of Swifty in that creamy web-looking dress gives me sort of a Stevie Nicks vibe, which I don’t hate. As for the interview… it’s interesting. Swifty usually gives a decent interview, even though she’s somewhat humorless (about herself). Some highlights:
On being a role model: “I find it relatively easy to keep my clothes on because I don’t really feel like taking them off. It’s not an urge I have. For me “risky” is revealing what really happened in my life through music. Risky is writing confessional songs and telling the true story about a person with enough details so everyone knows who that person is. That’s putting myself out there, maybe even more than taking my shirt off.”
Her musical evolution: “I’m not trying to shed my skin. I’m trying to be a new version of the person I’ve been my whole life. That’s what’s held my fans and me together. For a group of millions, it’s odd how close I feel to them.”
She doesn’t want to read certain articles: “I know when not to read an article. Is it going to help my day? Is it important for my life? If the answer is no, then I just don’t click…. I’m careful about getting sucked into the rabbit hole that is the Internet because, as a songwriter, I don’t have the option of having thick skin. As a writer you have to be open to everything, and that includes pain, rejection, self-doubt, fear. I deal with that enough on my own. If you look hard enough, you could find somebody on the Internet criticizing every single thing about you. If you’re me.”
Relationship rule: Never yell. “Silence speaks so much louder than screaming tantrums. Never give anyone an excuse to say that you’re crazy.”
Relationship rule: Freeze-out. “I think everyone should approach relationships from the perspective of playing it straight and giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Until he establishes that this is a game. And if it’s a game, you need to win. The best thing to do is just walk away from the table.”
I kind of like the “freeze-out” rule, because that’s who I am. Oh, you want to play games? Oh, you want to act like a douche sometimes? Sorry, dude. It’s over and I don’t want to speak to you again. It works well with friendships too, if your friend turns into a douchebag and you want no part of it. As for the “never yelling” thing… eh. Strong, honest communication is more important than “I don’t want him to ever call me crazy.” Sometimes you need to yell. Sometimes you need to act crazy. Those are the breaks. Swifty is basically telling girls that acting passive-aggressive is the only way to behave in a relationship. Besides, I’m not even sure Swifty really believes it. She is, after all, the same woman who cornered Jake Gyllenhaal outside of the men’s bathroom at the Vanity Fair Oscar party just so she could tell him off.
Seriously, coming from Taylor Swift, that’s just hilarious. Because while it’s true she’s not known for yelling… I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think she’s batshit insane.
Exactly! +1
She is batshit crazy. She would also be the last person I’d get relationship advice from.
Really? What has she done that’s so batshit insane?
+100
Just to clarify for the sake of the thread that my +100 is referring to her being batshit crazy. Didn’t refresh before commenting. Carry on.
Seriously? I must have missed a couple of CB posts then, ’cause I don’t recall reading/ seeing anything that would make me think TayTay = crazy. Please elaborate?
That is precisely how I handle friends and past ex’s who’ve betrayed me or done something unforgivable. Brrrr….its the deep freeze all the way. Nobody is important enough to suffer a stroke over.
I think it’d just be all those times she’s somewhat given off “stalker” vibes if you will. Of course no one can actually clarify this and it’s just little tidbits that you pick up, but the first thought that came to mind was when she bought a house right next to the Kennedy kid she was dating? Mind you, she might have just liked the location, but at the time, her track record was pretty bad.
Crazy? Oh, really? I guess you never heard of Courtney Love. Kids these days don’t know where it’s at. 😉
And she’s that creepy, quiet kind of crazy, too.
Ehh, no. I never yell, I found that it’s far more effective (plus you get the added bonus of royally pissing off the other person) to argue in a normal tone. You’ll definitely know I’m mad, but I gave up yelling long ago. My mom used to do this thing where she would yell at you while you’re in the room and if you walk out she would just yell louder, I always hated it.
Oh blue marie, yet another thing i agree with you on.
I hate big scenes, hissy fits and tantrums just to get somebody’s attention. I think the one who scream the loudest is often the wrong one. I just like pissing people off with my silence when all they want is fight.
My ex boyfriend slept with a friend of mine. I found them in my bed and all I did was just stare at them and leave the house. I was too disgusted to even think of speaking to them, I just closed the door behind me and never walked back.
Whats’ the point of yelling? I wouldn’t want him to know i cared that much.
Exactly, plus why does it have to be either yelling or silence?!
I get the feeling that she’s not advocating taking time to cool down or not engaging with screaming when she says silence, she’s more talking about freezing someone out instead of talking to them which is so immature. If you’re in an adult relationship, you talk things out.
Yep yep yep. It took me almost 30 years to learn that yelling only causes people to tune you out. Arguing in a normal tone of voice is the way to get your point heard. Not sure if that’s what she means, though, or if she literally means it’s either yelling or total silence. Because total silence isn’t good, either.
I speak softly and calmly rather than yell. It throws people off and completely disarms them. I also confront the yelling by saying “I’m not yelling at you, why are you yelling at me?”
I think we need to change the culture where men get to react to any display of negative emotion by a woman by dismissing her as “crazy”. Then maybe her comments wouldn’t have such resonance with me, or I guess the many other chicas who’ve had this trick pulled on them.
I absolutely agree. I think men very easily accuse us of being crazy, and therefore get to dismiss our wants and needs. Where Taylor gets it wrong is that she thinks that there is a hard and fast way to avoid being called crazy. The best thing you can do is not to somehow avoid being called crazy, but a call out men on their nonsense.
I couldn’t agree more. Any behavior that is undesirable =crazy girl. Oh, the girl you’ve been sleeping with and hanging out with asks you how you feel? She’s obviously the crazy one thinking you care. You stood up your girlfriend and haven’t responded to her 3 texts and phone call? Crazy! I see it all the time… If it’s uncomfortable for the guy, crazy gets thrown out there a lot.
My favorite is what happened with me and my ex-my clothes would disappear for weeks and then reappear, streched out (I’m thin) and covered in makeup (I don’t wear makeup). Why? Because I’m crazy and imagined them being gone, being stretched out, and being covered in makeup. Of course he wasn’t sleeping with other girls and letting them wear my clothes home.
Oh, and when pink socks showed up on my bedside table (I don’t wear. Any. Pink. Ever.)? Crazy. I must have put them there myself.
I get that this is her schtick, and she’s probably only asked about advice on relationships. But I’m sooooooo over only hearing about boys in her interviews. Girl is 24. Please have opinions on something other than how you should react in a fight with your boyfriend. It makes her seem so vapid.
A positive note, while I normally hate her styling, she looks good in these photos.
Passive/aggressives are the worst, most p*ssy of all. Call a spade a spade, have it out and move on. Ugh.
I’m not psychotic, or crazy, but emotions get heated and I prefer to get things off my chest rather than keeping it in. Keeping it in and trying to get the upper hand is the actual game. Being honest with your emotions and speaking up is the more mature route imo.
I dated a passive/agressive for 10 years. He would say little bitchy things in a way I didn’t realize were insults until later. (He was a master at it and I later realized his father was the same way). When confronted he would say that I misunderstood what he meant. I’m not into drama but I am a very direct person. Just from that experience I have a harder time dealing with that type of personality.
I rely on a diary to get the anger out. I don’t dislike TS, but I prefer someone like Liz Phair if I want to get my man irritation on 😉
I hate when people are passive aggressive too. My mother-in-law is the queen of passive aggressiveness. Just say what you mean and stop with the insinuating little digs!
I agree with the walking away from a relationship, without losing your sh*t and screaming.
Because if screaming is what you need to do to get your point across. You are in the wrong relationship. Seriously.
Yet sadly, too many people thrive on the self create drama and want the screaming.
And no matter how much everyone here sh*t talks Taylor. I still like her. 🙂
I agree. I can honestly let someone know I’m angry or hurt without yelling and screaming. I’m not saying I’ve never yelled at a S.O., because I have and it absolutely did not make me feel better. I will not yell at someone and I will not stick around if someone yells at me.
+100
I like Taylor too. I also do the freeze-out thing. I don’t find it passive-aggressive. They’re no longer worth my time and energy. I’m much older than Taylor.
Bat-shit crazy? Oh my.. where did that come from? Oh right the tabs. Cuz she’s never done anything crazy to me. Dating six celebrities from age 16-24 years old now constitutes crazy. I doubt the Vanity Fair story… if true, why is Jake still calling her? Per the NY magazine article, didn’t he reach out to her after listening to her album?
I like Taylor, but she needs to ixnay the relationship talk. She’s 24, I wish she would “evolve” a bit more like she has with her style and her music a bit.
I did not really get the same things out of this interview lol. Where did she tell girls to be passive aggressive? Don’t throw tantrums is solid advice to me. Is it the silence part? I do that. Not the silent treatment, that is definitely passive aggressive, but shutting my mouth until I figure out what I want to say.
I went to the link about her conversation with Jake Gyllenhaal. I thought that People article was pretty straight forward. How did it become she ambushed him, cornered him, and went off on him? Nowhere in that article, or the USWeekly article, does it say anything like that. I feel like this site has taken the tabloid rumors about Taylor and assumptions from pictures and mixed them like they were fact with actual quotes and comments, from her and others, until posts on her aren’t even interesting anymore. They just seem mostly made up.
leann rimes needs to read this:
“I know when not to read an article. Is it going to help my day? Is it important for my life? If the answer is no, then I just don’t click…. I’m careful about getting sucked into the rabbit hole that is the Internet because, as a songwriter, I don’t have the option of having thick skin”
and realize how easy it is not to go to twitter rehab.
I like Taylor Swift. I think shes a bit overexposed at the moment but I think she’s cool.
Not yelling does not equal “passive aggressive”.
I realized how much I dislike people who yell and lose it when I had a boss who would frequently yell at her husband and kids – it was so gross.
You just seem off balance to other people if you yell too much – just in general. I’m not saying you cant be right in what you are saying – but if you stay calm you will be taken more seriously faster. I say this as a bit of a yeller. And I’ve been trying to quit
I hear what you’re saying and it’s something I work on as well. But not yelling and giving someone the silent treatment are two different things. I aim (and sometimes fail) to not yell, but rather to express myself calmly. Clamming up and giving someone the silent treatment IS pretty passive aggressive, and it sounds like she’s talking about doing exactly that in a relationship.
Because yelling means crazy…?
Don’t throw a tantrum, sure. People should be able to communicate like adults, but if silence is the alternative, then you’re really not going to get anywhere.
Watch out how far you take your own advice, Tay-Tay. It’s really not that simple at all, but there is some wisdom there.
I used to be completely out of control of my emotions, and it really took a toll on my BF. It’s something my mother passed on to me and I’m not sure if there’s a diagnosis for it; my doctor called it anxiety. I was put on meds and it got worse (this is NOT true for everyone, I’m not promoting that) until I had a certifiable breakdown after a fight with my boyfriend and hurt myself pretty badly. Boy, was that ever a wake-up call. I quit all the meds, and quit drinking for awhile, too, until I learned to understand myself and how to control my emotions. We took a break for a couple months, but I realized that if I wanted him to stay I had to figure shit out.
Luckily, he understands that “fixing myself” is a process and I still have relapses, although they are fewer and farther between all the time. Whenever I yell and get out of control, I realize I have let myself react without processing information first, and I feel crazy (he would never say that to me). If I can handle a situation calmly and talk it out, things end better, but that doesn’t mean yelling is out of the question or inappropriate. If he were to cheat or lie, I would probably yell.
One thing I do NOT do is the silent treatment. That is passive-aggressive and ineffective, and sometimes a reward more than the punishment it is supposed to be. Mature adults shouldn’t feel the need to punish one another.
I used to emotional meltdowns, and I burned a lot of bridges. I couldn’t understand how people could stay so calm. I went on medication and it made everything worse. Turns out I had a hormone imbalance, and a blood sugar issues. I take bio identical hormones and changed my diet(low carb) and now I candle situations calmly without loosing my sh**t. Nobody hears you when you yell, it just gives the other person an excuse to invalidate your opinion. If you can’t speak without getting upset, shut up and come back to table when you can.
I feel like we have this in common (my post is just above yours). It’s interesting to hear your findings. I always wonder if going low-carb will help, because I went gluten-free for a while to see if it would help GI symptoms I was having, and I was a lot calmer. Thank you for sharing this.
Yelling or not, imo, I think she is crazy and a girl that men should probably stay clear of. I’ve always thought she was a little off. A little scary, even.
I’m a bit of a yell-y, tantrum-y girl. Not all the time, but only when my anger is directed at certain people in my life, only when I’m just too upset, and only in private. When I’m really mad, I have to throw, break, tear apart, and knock over. This is usually done with yelling and crying. But these incidents are really rare. Usually I control my anger pretty well through trying to talk it out and then moving on to a pleasant activity, which really helps me to calm down. But sometimes I do get a little bitchy, I’ve been told.
I am disgusted that we live in a culture that defines young women so completely by their sexuality that all it takes to be a “role model” is to not show some arbitrary amount of skin.
Agreed. It’s a shame that in the 21st century, whether or not these women can be ‘good role models’ is determined not by what kind of people they are or even their talent, but how good they are at dressing and acting sexually modest. It’s one of the many little things that shows how far society has to go. And people wonder why people like Miley exist. It’s so obvious.
“Risky is writing confessional songs and telling the true story about a person with enough details so everyone knows who that person is. ”
Risky? Sounds more like vengeful to me, but at least she’s finally admitting that she does it.
Agree.
Vengeful, and so very immature.
and stupid – who wants to date someone who writes a song about you and your breakup – its so one sided. The guy cant even defend his side, and there are multiple sides to every story
I just think her first comment is pretty rich, considering the fact that she’s stated before that she would never say who her songs were about. Or maybe she just meant that in the way of “explicitly say his name, however I’ll hint all I want and need”.
If that’s the case, she still broke her own rule by calling out John Mayer with her ridiculously obvious song: “Dear John”. And has anyone noticed that her songs get more and more obvious on who the person is with every single she spits out?
Also…seriously. Not showing skin is what makes a good role model? I mean honestly? Show off all your skin if you want! I hate how flashing skin = bad while covering everything = good. Who cares if you like showing off a bit of skin every now and then as long as you know when it’s appropriate, and as long as you own your sexuality as opposed to the other way around. Being a good model simply means being covered up…that is just such a sad thought.