Britney learned basic life skills in rehab

Britney Spears, who never completed her high school degree at The University of Nebraska at Lincoln Distance Education program, certainly didn’t attend home economics class. Her privileged upbringing didn’t give her the chance to learn basic skills that most of take for granted. According to Star Magazine, she had to be taught how to cook, clean up after herself, and do laundry. The 25 year-old mother of two even needed a lesson on how to make coffee:

The 10 Things Britney Learned in Rehab!
At Promises, Brit leanred how to beat her addiction – and so much more! “She was shown how to do things on her own, things that would make her feel like she was growing,” says a source. “It’s part of the rehabilitation.”
1. How to do laundry
2. How to load a dishwasher
3. How to make coffee
4. How to play tennis
5. How to cook grits
6. How to iron
7. How to dive into a pool
8. How to do her own nails
9. How to make tuna salad
10. How to clean her bathroom

[From Star Magazine print edition, April 9, 2007 via Sammie’s Effluvia]

It sounds like these are the skills that every rehabber at Promises is taught, but somehow I don’t think that Britney was competent at any of these tasks. She may know how to do them, but whether she bothers to is another issue. I remember reading that she had to be goaded to make her bed in rehab and that she wanted to hire a maid to pick up after her. She was also said to let her various dogs poop all over her mansion without cleaning it up back when she was first living with K-Fed. It’s not so much of a stretch to assume that she doesn’t know how to do laundry if she can’t pick up after her dogs.

Famed record producer Timbaland, who worked with Justin Timberlake on FutureSex/LoveSounds, says FutureSex/LoveSounds “>he never offered to help Britney with a comeback album, and that “People just put anything out… you know how it works.”

Britney’s first single is due for release in August 10th, 2007 according to the latest news from a German media firm which represents record companies. Her real producer says her latest work will be “Toxic times ten.”

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15 Responses to “Britney learned basic life skills in rehab”

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  1. Aimee says:

    That tattoo looks more like a bad birthmark than lips.

  2. AC says:

    She looks better. Which is great. But i hate hearing how incompatent she is at being a normal human. I had always thought she was more down to earth than that. I don’t even know why I care but i do ! πŸ˜›

  3. AC says:

    and im a horrible speller! ahh!

  4. Iva says:

    Too bad they didn’t give her lessons on motherhood and how to nurture her children and cultivate a safe environment.

    Please stories like this about making one’s bed – shows what a totally self-indulgent, spoiled adult woman she is.

  5. Anonymous says:

    too bad they didn’t teach her the basics of road saftey…

    up the street not across the road

  6. Kolby says:

    How to load a dishwasher? Seriously? I didn’t realize a person could NOT know how to load a dishwasher. I don’t know why that irks me so much.

    I agree that the lip tattoo looks terrible, like an old man who was smoking a cigar tripped and fell into Britney, burning her wrist in the process. Ick.

  7. DogRunner says:

    Makes sense. She had a career while everyone else her age was doing normal “life things”.

    Plus, she probably was the breadwinner and her parents indulged her to keep her working.

  8. Homes says:

    What’d she learn, how not to gag? She probably mastered that skill in Jr. high school.

  9. KC says:

    “TOXIC TIMES TEN”…does that mean we will all drop dead as soon as we hear it? I probably will, just due to the toxicity of the horrible sounds coming from her vocal cords.

  10. m.a. says:

    I agree with DogRunner. Most of us probably learned those kinds of skills in our early teens and beyond, but during that time in HER life she was doing her thing with her crappy music. Hey, I didn’t say I LIKE brit-brit, I can just see how it came to be that she can’t do things that we take for granted. So, I guess it’s good that she “learned” how to do those things, but it sounds like she won’t take those lessons with her, since she’s been spoiled her whole life, and has become lazy.

  11. m.a. says:

    P.S. Yeah, that tatt is not very good. At first I thought it WAS some kind of scab or something, until I remembered about her recent tattoo/ head shaving episode. People should put more thought into an artpiece that will be on your body forever. Oh well, there’s always lazer tattoo removal! πŸ™‚

  12. van says:

    So, they taught her to do her own nails? Not saying much since 2 of them fell off. It is sad she doesn’t have any ‘life’ skills. Sad to think about her two kids alone with her in Miami before her breakdown. If she can’t take care of herself, how can she take care of two babies. It’s not easy, even for those of us who ‘learned’ how to load a dishwasher.

  13. juicee says:

    i grew up with maids and never had to actually do chores. But I still know how to do all of those things. it’s not that difficult to figure out how to load a dishwasher and all that. I can sorta see how she wouldn’t be able to do her own laundry though, since when i was a freshman in college I remember a lot of girls who didn’t know how to do laundry and I had to teach them….sad, but true.

  14. anonymous says:

    this story is sad.
    it could be that britney is used to having everyone wait on her hand and foot..i don’t know.—————-

    a “regular” girl like this would go to a mental hospital…not that mental hospitals are bad or shameful…they are unpleasant and its painful for the people in there trying to somehow pick up the pieces of their lives one by one, while basically under the control of others…mainly for the sake of protecting the patient from hurting themselves.
    i dont think that its not that she didnt know how to do those “menial” things, i think its that she was in a completely devastated burned out condition that leaves a person in oblivion with little energy to do much else. complete exhaustion and grief.

  15. jess says:

    you learn those things waayyy before she was famous at 16. i think at least some of this is made up.