Simon Cowell make baby. Simon furry and strong, like bull. Simon virile.


It’s not like this is the first time we’ve seen Simon Cowell’s furry moobs. It’s not like it’s even the first time THIS WEEK. We covered some photos of Simon and his baby-mama Lauren Silverman in Miami on Monday – go here to see. They flew, with baby Eric, to Miami just days after Lauren had given birth. And Lauren has had the baby on the beach, with all of the sand and paparazzi and Simon’s Yorkies licking on the baby. It’s all kind of gross.

But even with all of that previous grossness, these photos are totally extra. Full disclosure: I saw these photos yesterday and I was all “DO NOT WANT, I’m not going to cover those.” But I was hypnotized. Hypnotized by the fur. Hypnotized by the weird dichotomy of Simon going shirtless… while wearing jeans… in the evening… in public. In front of the paps. I have to think that Big Furry Baby Simon is going through something right now. Usually he’s not this desperate to be photographed. Is this his version of puffing up his chest and looking “virile”? SIMON MAKE BABY. BABY GOOD. SIMON VIRILE. SIMON FURRY. SIMON WEAR MOM JEANS.

And what would Dax Shepard make of these photos? It’s not even like we’re paying attention to baby Eric (beyond the concerns for having a newborn on the beach with dogs licking him). All we can see is furry moobs, from here to infinity.



Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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162 Responses to “Simon Cowell make baby. Simon furry and strong, like bull. Simon virile.”

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  1. Elisabeth says:

    Seriously…is he gay? Walking shirtless with a toy dog…

    • Erinn says:

      I just can’t take him seriously. He’s trying so hard to look buff and manly, then he has one of the tiniest dogs you could possibly find.

      Sidebar: My fiance’s dad is this big, small business owner logger guy who hunts, and does all kinds of typical dude things. When their dog passed they got a new one. It’s a Yorkie, Maltese mix. He kept saying how foolish it was to have a tiny dog. Now that dog is his BABY. He’ll put a little sweater on it in the winter and take it everywhere with him.

      • Azurea says:

        Love that, Erinn! i have a Pom, & my SIL always says “This is the next dog we should get, Andy!” because she’s thinking of them being old & not being able to manage a Wheaton Terrier, their dog of choice up till now. And Andy, who is very handsome, intellectual & manly — though not typically macho — furrows his brow in mock concern & says “I don’t think I can be seen walking a dog like this, people will question my manhood!” Then my Pom smiles at him & wiggles. My Pom LOVES men & they love her!

      • MrsBPitt says:

        “then he has one of the tiniest dogs you could possibly find”…is dog a euphemism for dong???

      • Erinn says:

        Ahahaha, yes MrsBPitt – in Simon’s case it seems to be 😉

        Azurea – it’s really hilarious. Fiance’s uncles all used to have big dogs, and now they’re all jumping onto the tiny dog trend. They’re ALL in the trades too – it’s pretty hilarious. Our cat weighs more than their dogs.

      • Azurea says:

        Erinn — it IS fun. What I love about small dogs is their portability. As long as they’re well-trained it’s so easy to take them with you! Abonus for the dog & dog-lover. And yes, my two cats are far bigger than my Pom, but she thinks she’s the boss!

      • SonjaMarmeladova says:

        My dad is exactly like that. He’s a pretty big guy. We had a German Shepherd, and when she passed away my mum got a Pekingese/Shi Tzu mix and my dad was appalled with such a small dog. Now he loves him it and takes him everywhere with him.

      • girlnbayou says:

        This is so funny! My 6’2 engineer/construction ex husband was totally like that. We had a tiny 2 lb female chihuahua for many years. One time he had to take her to the vets office and as I tied her halter to the front seat of his big manly man truck, he asked, “now how am I gonna be taken seriously as a man if I pull up to a red light and someone sees her strapped to the front seat in her pink sparkly sweater?” Well, upon his return home with her, he pulled up with a brand new pink flowered doggie car seat, strapped high and tight for the whole world to see. He was most proud of himself. I couldn’t help but laugh and also be grateful the he put aside his machoism for the safety of our little girl.

      • Nerd Alert says:

        Aw! that reminds me of the French Bulldog on Modern Family owned by Jay, the grandpa. My dad is like that–former construction, southern, muscly, and has had a LOT of dogs. Truth be told he never really valued dogs as a member of the family. Fast forward to my mother bringing home Taco, a chihuahua (which she herself said she could never love–too ugly). That dog goes everywhere with them now! My dad worries about him “being alone” when on vacation, and the little thing is the fattest chihuahua you’ve ever seen because my dad can’t stop giving him treats.

    • mommak918 says:

      SO much wrong with this. The furry moobs. The blotchy red chest/neck. The black, pointy dress shoes. The jeans, circa 2002. The poor baby facing OUT, the Ho stroll by the mom…

      Why you does Simon insist we see his furry moobs and all tucked into his mom jeans?? I officially lost my sex drive.

      • Ally8 says:

        The DM has used him this week to illustrate articles about the potential health risks for progeny of older-man sperm. Maybe this is what he’s overcompensating for here.

  2. Hope says:

    Thanks, Kaiser. Now I’m off to bleach my brain…

    • LadyMTL says:

      Save some bleach for me! It’s not even 8 AM yet and I want to erase this day from my brain.

    • JudyK says:

      Add me to the list. Just lost my appetite for breakfast.

    • Nerd Alert says:

      Simon no wear underwear. Nerd Alert shocked by middle-aged bulge too early. Nerd Alert need brain bleach for moobs, but something stronger for dong image…

    • Tazina says:

      I don’t see anything wrong with any of it. They all look like a happy bunch and that’s the main thing. He’s not trying to please you or me or anyone else. Like him, I wish I wasn’t so concerned about what people thought of me! If you don’t like it, stop looking and move on. The only thing I might do differently is cover the baby more in the sun. If it’s just a couple of minutes in the sun it’s likely okay to get a bit of Vitamin D, but anything more and he should be covered.

      Big deal the baby is facing out. He’s with them, isn’t he. I doubt he cares since he’s sleeping.

      • Hope says:

        Oh, Tanzina. If only I could believe he doesn’t care. But I don’t. At all. He wants us to look. He wants us to talk. And some small part of him wants our approval for his moobs. If he was walking down the beach at noon, I wouldn’t have felt the need to reach under my sink this morning and call my surgeon. But he wants you to see. Look at the bottom pic, the street lights are on! It’s night time. He’s wearing sunglasses. And he’s shirtless. This has pap walk written all over it.

      • Zwella Ingrid says:

        Maybe he is having a hot flash. I am having one right now, and it’s making me want to take my shirt off.

      • Christy says:

        He looks like he is totally sucking in his stomach though!!! Furry moobs on parade!

  3. dahlianoir says:

    I just had lunch. I thank you not.

    • Badirene says:

      Yeah these photos are really helping me stay on track with my new diet, I may never eat again. Or sleep without dreaming of his furry tittays.

  4. T.fanty says:

    I am so repelled by these photos, and yet I can’t stop staring. It’s like the fur-moobs are hypnotizing me. I’m scared. Somebody hold me.

    • Sixer says:

      Come and cwch with me, toots. I’m still suffering from a Fassy crush, which surely can’t be. We can be Kafka-esque together, at least.

      • T.fanty says:

        Eew. Fassbender’s beard and Simon’s moobs appear to be cut from the same cloth.

        *waits for the Fassbendygirls to (quite rightly) start shanking*

      • Sixer says:

        Exactly. I am in unfamiliar territory. Sixerland doesn’t usually look like this.

        Someone! Heyulp! Get the furry (faced or moobed) ones away from the helpless maidens!

      • Jaderu says:

        I’m not a Fassbendygirl but I’m bringing the shank. That ginger-beard makes my toes scrunch up. *wink wink nudge nudge

    • Sarah says:

      i imagine when he walks the moobs move like a lava lamp. you just cant stop looking.

    • Audrey says:

      They’ve disgusted me so completely by exploiting their poor baby.

      This baby is not even being treated like a human. He’s a fashion accessory and PR tool they’re using.

      I have a similar stroller. They could choose to have him face them. But they want these happy family pics taken at the baby’s expense. All of the flashes and noise….ugh.

      This poor poor baby

  5. thinkaboutit says:

    She’s SUCH a baby pimp! I demand to know why she has the baby carrier facing out instead of facing her so she can make sure a yorkie isn’t slurping his face…again. Of course I’m being facetious, we all know why. Just plain gross in so many ways, these two.

    • Lexie says:

      Exactly. Shouldn’t the baby be facing her? He’s a newborn! Lordy, these two.

      • Audrey says:

        How would the papa’s take pics???

        They make me sick. My 11 month old still faces me (in the seat of her quinny buzz) so she feels safe and secure and doesn’t get over stimulated.

        These two don’t give a damn about their baby’s needs

    • Belle Epoch says:

      Do they really believe their own hype? Look, so happeeeee! So hot! So holding hands! Such a fantasy famleeeee! What time is his flight back to London again?

      Every time I see her I think about child #1, who isn’t worth pimping any more. She chose Simon over her own son.

    • Mel M says:

      My first thought exactly! No one ever walks around with their tiny newborn facing out!

    • Anne says:

      That was my first thought. I’ve never seen an infant facing out.

    • Dani says:

      That’s a bugaboo and it can go both rear and forward facing. Just shows how much of a fame ho she is.

      • Mel M says:

        Yeah my infant seat could click into the stroller both ways as well but you want to watch/look at/gaze lovingly at your brand new baby when you’re walking him! Famewhore for sure. Poor little Eric, sucks you can’t pick your parents.

    • bluhare says:

      Come on. They’re doing the pap stroll and they’re being honest about it. No shade from me over honest pap strolls. Shade comes from lying about it.

      What got me reading this is the headline. Best CB headline EVER!!!

      • LAK says:

        Me too.

        Though, the more I see pictures of this Miami trip, the more I think that mummy isn’t necessarily thrilled about doing this, but if she’s to keep her prize AKA Simon, she has to zip it and go along with whatever he wants even if that means a pap stroll on the beach a few days after birth and her hooha is still sore. And don’t forget the sexy beach wear. She’ll be sexy fun mummy dammit! Even if it kills her.

        Ps: what’s cropped out of the above pics is that one of the harem was with them – the one Simon was engaged to.

  6. Samtha says:


    • ZigZagZoey says:

      THIS! I do NOT get it! He is all of a sudden seeking attention from people on the streets and the beach? WTF?
      Maybe she has sapped all of his confidence in himself or something.
      Maybe he is competing with the baby?
      He could buy a damn island and have the nicest private beach….
      I don’t get it!
      And his boobs are really kinda freaky.

    • Maggs says:

      Maybe the reason why is Simon is jealous of the press his own son is getting? Wants attention back on him. Just a thought.

      • Size Does Matter says:

        I completely agree!!! Simon had to strip off his shirt because he’s an insecure attention whore and the baby was taking too much of the limelight. Why else would you be shirtless at night? He’s not even getting a tan!

  7. thinkaboutit says:

    Also it’s just not that hot in miami now, especially not in the evening. Cover that mess up, Simon. You are NOT hot.

  8. nico says:

    Both are really pimping that baby out.

    • Tania says:

      I agree Nico. And if your own mother won’t try to protect you from the paps, I just don’t know. Where is that momma bear instinct of hers? I was ready to rip people apart with my bare hands if needed! You become so protective of your newborn. Instead, I feel she is too busy trying to impress Mr Moobs and trying to convince him that his lifestyle won’t change at all. Cause you know, it’s totally appropriate to have a newborn baby in crazy heat. In previous posts there are photos of her bottle feeding the baby. And look, I wouldn’t normally shade any woman for bottle feeding, I myself had to supplement my breast feeding with formula but she seems like the type of woman who would not breast feed because she doesn’t want to ruin her boobs for her man. She just comes off as really shallow. That is my impression of her. Hopefully I’m wrong.

  9. AlmondJoy says:

    Bwaaaaahahahaha I swear I can’t stop laughing! Hilarious write-up Kaiser!

  10. Ladybug says:

    Best. Headline. EVER. Kaiser wins the internet unless any of you commenters can top that headline?

    Other than the laffs at the headline these pictures make me sad. Why is the baby facing out? Into the glare of the cameras? That pushchair is a bugaboo and I know it can be parent-facing. Sigh. Call me a crunchy granola mamma bear but…reign it in guys.

    Further: Simon put your shirt on. Please. There, I asked nicely.

    • bluhare says:

      That headline is what got me reading!

    • emmie_a says:

      I do love the headline. I didn’t really want to read another Simon story but I did… So I knew his baby mama was a gold digger famewhore — but Simon? I’m surprised by his desperate-ness. It’s really sort of sad. The guy is rich, successful, famous… so why all this?? I don’t get his game.

  11. Kiddo says:

    Oh. my, WTF?….loss of words. Putin approves, is all I got. Gratuitous exhibitionism. See what you started Miley, etal?

  12. Zbornak Syndrome says:

    They sure are ho strolling this newborn. Other celebs are trying to get laws against photos of their kids. Hope her other child is getting attention. Usually when I see parents out with newborns, the carrier is facing the parent, not the public.

    People remember, always put Yorkies (and other toy breeds) in a harness not a neck collar! Please! They are highly susceptible to collapsing trachea. When they pull the leash like this, it is VERY bad for their little necks. I can’t see if this little guy has a proper harness, but pass the word.

    • nico says:

      Thanks for the info on the neck harness. I didn’t know it was dangerous to use a neck collar on those dogs.

    • bluhare says:

      I will second the collapsing trachea in Yorkies. My neighbor has a Yorkie. Rupert rules the block, collapsing trachea, torn (and repaired and retorn) ACL and all!!! But I digress. He’s always made the most interesting noises and his person finally found out when he was x-rayed due to anaesthesia difficulties and she found out he has a collapsing trachea.

  13. embertine says:

    I like body hair. It’s the fact that it’s attached to Simon Cowell that I have a problem with.

  14. MrsBPitt says:

    They are so pimping out this poor baby. This is a newborn baby! They should have the baby facing them, not the paps. I think Simon is showing off his manly (gross) physique, because his ego can’t take the fact that his show was cancelled. When he left American Idol, I think he believed the audience would follow him and he would destroy Idol.

    I hope no PETA members throw red paint on him and yell, “Don’t wear fur”!

  15. Neffie says:

    Can the baby see at 2 weeks old,they say when babies are born they don’t automatically see can’t remember for how long. I can just imagine the flashing lights why is she letting him face the paps?

    • Dani says:

      They see shadows for like 30-40 days. Color only starts at like almost 2 months. Right now he’s probably just seeing shadowy figures and the spark of the flash.

  16. Mari says:


  17. Jen says:

    Now all I can hear is a conversation between Boris and Natasha. I just wish there was a way to have it done in a Russian accent–“Strong like bull!!” They are turning baby pimping into an art form. Sad really.

  18. Penny says:


    I know this is mean, but he’s mean, so I don’t feel too bad about saying his body freaks me out. It’s like all the proportions are just a little off. I’m guessing it’s exacerbated by the lipo and whatever kind of weird surgery he had to create what I’m sure he’d claim are abs, but he has this massive head, an oddly wide upper body for his height and then scrawny little legs that look like they belong on a different person. It’s just strange to look at, and I’m not sure why he thinks people want to see it.

    Also why is his face and neck pale and even toned when his chest is tan and splotchy? Did he layer on foundation for his pap walk?

    • dagdag says:

      His body freaks me out also. Something is really off.

      The picture shows him from the front and it looks to me like walks with his behind pinched together taking small steps.

    • MonicaQ says:

      I feel like if I drew him for my anatomy Class I would get docked for *something*. Besides the fact I drew Simon Cowell.

  19. Samantha25 says:

    I can’t get over how much they are exploiting this baby. They are ridiculous. Who takes a week old baby to the beach? They remind me Heidi and Spencer.

  20. chloe says:

    Well there goes my breakfast…who walks around town wearing jeans with no shirt. That poor baby being put on a pap walk at two weeks old, I don’t even think the Kartrashians have stooped this low…yet!

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Men should never walk around without shirts unless they’re at the beach or the pool. 10 day old babies at the beach! Constant bizarre pap strolls. Didn’t she get pregnant whilst married to someone else? You’re right, they are pushing Kardasian tacky.

    • CynicalCeleste says:

      These two make Kimye look like parents of the year.

    • bluhare says:

      IMO, Kanye is the only reason Kim’s baby wasn’t out on the stroll.

  21. mzizkrizten says:

    Maybe baby spit up on shirt?

    • NerdMomma says:

      A kind and charitable thought in the midst of our making fun of Simon! However, my babies spit up on me all the time and I never took off my shirt… so I’m still thinking he’s showing off his moobs.

      • Zwella Ingrid says:

        Maybe he has some kind of freakish aversion to baby throw up, he couldn’t deal with it, and had to take his shirt off.

  22. Eleonor says:

    it’s a good day in goldiggerland.

  23. blue marie says:

    It is way too early for the moobs of summer

  24. Tracy says:


  25. Adrien says:

    I wonder what’s Simon’s bra cup size?

    • nico says:

      It’s probably bigger than mine.

    • ZigZagZoey says:

      A furry C?

    • Madi says:

      I say break into his home and see. He has severe mummy issues so bad I bet he dresses up a-la Norman Bates when nobody is around.

      He has said he never saw his mother without full make-up on which is why he MAKES his women be in full make-up in his presence. He has bragged in the past that one night a new girlfriend had a shower and took all her make-up off before they turned in for the night, he made her get up and put it all back on again.

      I bet the birth was fun for them. Baby sticks head out – swab inserted – Simon’s assistant (one of his harem obviously) hands Lauren her make-up bag and Simon screams – “You look disgusting fix yourself up!” – Lauren pushes the baby out with mascara in hand – Thank god the baby was not a girl

  26. Hannah says:

    Could be worse. Could be Harvey Weinstein.

  27. Jaderu says:

    The jeans I threw out a decade ago and mint flavored tic tac looking nipples.
    Go fame whores…go!

  28. Christin says:

    I’m starting to think he’s in overdrive with the happy family photos so he can ease back into his harem ways. Didn’t one of his exes join them for dinner during this trip?

    • LAK says:

      One of the harem (the ex-fiancee) did join them for dinner and the pap stroll. They’ve just cropped her out of the pics. You can see the original wide shots on the DM.

      • Liberty says:

        Yes — she was helping walk the dogs. She was smiling.

        “Ah…let’s have that baby, go shopping right away, and yeah, hop on a jet (let’s hope the newbone’s brain doesn’t mind the pressure because we needed a beach pap walk, love!) and march around on hot dirty sand and have dinner with ex-fiancee too! And let the world see the glories of Moob Forest! Over and over, up and down the sidewalk! Because I have this new concept, right, love? Instead of Teen Mom — how about Senior Dad? It’ll be hot, I tell you!”

      • LAK says:

        Liberty: and if she wants to remain no 1 in the harem, she’d better do what Simon says or wants. She’s earning every cent she’s receiving from Simon!

      • Christin says:

        LAK – I agree with your comments about how she’s playing the game (even if she isn’t overjoyed, other than showing off her clothes and post-baby body). She is indeed earning her money. She’s got a long road ahead, if she chooses to try to stay at the top of the list.

  29. Tanguerita says:

    This title just saved my day. Seriously. The pictures – not so much.

  30. TG says:

    Yes good headline and I am equally grossed out at these photos. And Lainey’s story of “Picture him on top of you” is too funny. Gross. Remember when she whored her first son out for photos during the breakup if her marriage? I guess he is no longer needed.

    • Tiffany says:

      I think that has to do with the divorce settlement more than anything. Her ex was very specific on that topic. It could also help her eldest in the end because you know once Simon drops her she is going to be with on the cover of some low rent mag with the tagline ‘Left alone to raise baby’.

  31. magpie says:

    Babies that young shouldn’t be in the sun let alone exposed on a beach. There were pictures of the baby all red and crying. Horiible.

    He is so gross in those highwaisted Jeans and hairy moobs. Plus the street lights are on so it’s like early evening and he’s walking around with no shirt. Ew ew ew.

    • bluhare says:

      Newborns look red and horrible when they cry. Not going to shade them for that. The baby was in the shade not out face up on the beach.

      • magpie says:

        From babycenter:

        “You may be surprised to learn that shade provides only partial protection against UV rays”

        “Keep your baby completely out of the sun as much as possible before 6 months of age.”

  32. dorothy says:

    Why is he wearing old lady jeans?

  33. P.J. says:

    And can we please also address the fact that not only is he shirtless but boyfriend also chose to rock his beloved pointy toe black leather high heeled boots. On a trip to the BEACH 😂

    These two idiots may have just replaced Elizabeth Hurley/Shane Warne AND Nick and Mariah in my book of favorite absurdly over-the-top, completely obnoxious couples to laugh at. It’s clear that Lauren already sees herself as a super high class (LOL) Mrs. Cowell now (she tried to cement that image in the public’s mind with her inexplicable decked out shopping trip to Bergdorf Goodman about two days after her son was born-sunglasses in the store! leather pants! a limo waiting outside! Jesus.)

    Just saying, I cannot WAIT for their sh*t storm of a break up. Countdown is officially on…

  34. Sam says:

    Hell, I’ve got no problem with furry moobs – if they just happen to show up in pics on the beach, by a pool, etc. But this is different – it’s like he’s DEMANDING that we look at his furry moobs. “LOOK. AT. MY. MOOBS. Gaze upon them. You can’t unsee them.” It’s a bit odd at this point. Maybe he reads the gossip sites and now he’s toying with the public?

    • Sandy says:

      And as if Simon’s attire, or lack thereof, isn’t bad enough, he’s with his newborn baby. It’s like all he can think about is himself. He wants to up-stage the mother and their child. How in the world can this be O.K. with her? Except that it becomes more obvious by the day that she’s signed up for a pay-check for life, and nothing is going to get in the way of that!

  35. PixieWitch says:

    with jeans, no shirt, on the beach, WEARING DRESS SHOES. the shoes kill me as much as the fuzzy nips.

  36. ToodySezHey says:

    I cant get over the tragedy that is the jeans Simon is wearing. Just dreadful.

  37. Bea says:

    Mother of… there really is no excuse for any of this in anyone’s morning (noon or night).

    I hope CPS is on alert – for this baby and the older son who is apparently forgotten.

  38. Matty says:

    Thank you so much for the headline – I couldn’t stop laughing for five minutes. Totally spot on. Welcome to Neanderthal…

  39. Beth says:

    Competing with the baby for attention?

  40. AG says:

    I just can’t with those pictures.

    And, are those breakaway jeans? That would fit the entire aura he’s putting out there.

  41. Cheryl says:

    I think I see what’s going on here.
    This is his passive aggressive discouragement of holding hands and strolling with HER. If you must make me do this, these are the pictures that you will appear in. Break up with me now…kind of energy.

    Only explanation. He’s brilliant!

  42. leah says:

    These are the most hilarious photos ever!! Ahahahaha!!

  43. Sue says:

    Simon seems much more engaged with the dogs than either his girlfriend or the baby. In this picture his eyes are on the dog. In the previous beach pictures, hes cuddling with the dogs and in the one faux embrace picture – if you look at where his eyes are directed behind the sunglasses – he’s not looking at her. Another reason I think he’s wearing sunglasses – is when he’s checking out other chicks – you can’t see where his eyes are directed.

  44. Nerd Alert says:

    So….really? I’m the only one who can’t see anything but his Hamm-esque bulge in the mom jeans? It’s hanging halfway to his knees, people!!

  45. rep says:

    Her poor older son, I mean really, what must the child be feeling or thinking. He is completely left out of Eric’s and mom’s life.

    • Jayna says:

      He isn’t left out of his mom’s or the baby’s life. She shares equal custody with her ex-husband. When you see her with Simon, that’s the weeks he’s with his father. During her weeks of shared custody, she’s in NY with her son and now also the baby. The divorce decree also had a stipulation that Simon not be around the oldest boy until a year had passed. So I doubt you are going to see snaps of her then when she’s with her other son as she’s not newsworthy when Simon isn’t with her.

  46. Em says:

    I feel like he is one of those delusional older guys who think they have a good body. He is prancing around like a peacock unaware that everyone is begging him to put his shirt back on.

  47. Mhmm says:

    First of all: best headline/ header picture combo ever. I’m dying 😀

    Secondly: my dad is another example of a guy who likes to be perceived as all man, and heavily resisted when all the girls in the family wanted a Yorkie, but now takes it everywhere with him and loves it so much he even admitted she’s the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. Yorkies are irresistibly cute in person and great with people (but watch out near other dogs 0_0)

  48. someone says:

    Simon wants us to see how quickly he got his pre-baby figure back. Wayyy faster than Gisele or any of those other models. And the way he holds the shirt is like him saying “I could put this back on but I’m gifting you with this awesomeness. You’re welcome.”

  49. Penelope says:

    Eh, the pics from the DM clearly show the baby was well-cared for and protected at all times during the beach outing (and yes I saw the adorbs dog briefly licking the kid). I despise Simon’s style and the way he shoves his moobs in our faces but he seems cool with Eric and a man who loves dogs of any size is ok in my book.

    • Jayna says:

      I envy men sometimes. Most men think they are hot or that they have great bodies, even when it’s not true, or they are content with their bodies, their weight. Throw on something and are happy and ready to go.

      Most women are always bemoaning some figure flaw or their weight, etc., or getting ready to go somewhere and not feeling good in this outfit or that outfit. LOL

  50. Amanda_M87 says:

    What’s wrong with these people? Who takes a newborn on a plane and to the beach?

    • Jayna says:

      They say newborns can fly pretty quickly, I think a matter of days almost. Let’s face it, baby Eric flew on a private jet, pampered in luxury, was there in no time, and not subjected to the lowly masses either on a commercial flight. LOL

      • Liberty says:

        From baby (because my neighbor who has a six-month-old is horrified that they flew w their newborn child and pointed this out to me yesterday):

        “Ideally, your baby should be at least 2 to 3 months old before he flies. This will give his immune system a chance to grow strong enough to resist the germs that often make the rounds in airplane ventilation systems……”

        And: “If you can’t wait that long, your baby should be okay to fly after his 2-week checkup — provided he has a clean bill of health and you had a full-term pregnancy without complications.” — baby

    • Tellie says:

      Lots of people take newborns everywhere. Life goes on. You don’t stay shut indoors all day long just because you have a newborn.

      And the sunshine (Vitamin D) is good for the baby, so he needs to get out.

  51. MediaMaven says:

    How many Weight Watchers points can I get BACK for puking up my breakfast?

  52. Maggie says:

    LMAO! His Studliness

  53. MinnFinn says:

    Forget the moobs, Mezghan Hussainy was also on that walk. Let’s dish about that instead. Still a swinger, Simon. That’s all I got.

  54. Maureen says:

    As Lainey G always say, “Picture him on top of you.” ENOUGH SAID!

  55. Dommy Dearest says:

    I clicked on this simply for the title.


    • Maureen says:

      What, what, WHAT? You didn’t click to see more photos of Simon’s plump, hairy nom-noms, and his weirdly proportioned waist and upper body, and his jeans that went out of style in 1994?

  56. Tellie says:

    I think it was just a hot day so he took off his shirt. That simple.

    Not trying to show anything off.

  57. Autumn says:

    No. No. Just no. Furry moobs.

    I’m must leave this post and return to the Tom Hiddleston post to make up for what I just saw.

  58. pru says:

    Someone, please rescue that poor dog (and baby while you’re at it)!

  59. rlh says:

    Anyone else reminded of those Putin pics: shirtless on horseback? Masculine mythology. Yuck!

  60. CynicalCeleste says:

    Just want to say this post & its headline was one of the funniest ever. those photos are so awful in so many ways that they end up being awesome.

  61. LAK says:

    The more photos I see of this Miami trip, the more sorry I feel for this woman. Talk about earning that gold. She looks miserable.