Cameron Diaz: If a man cheats, women should ask ‘why am I in this position’?

Cameron Diaz

No one can ever say that Cameron Diaz is lazy at promoting her work. I can’t remember the last time a romantic comedy was promoted as heavily as The Other Woman. Maybe that’s because I mostly cover celebrities who do sci-fi or action films. Cami’s last few interviews have clarified her thoughts on down-there hair and universal cheating. She’s also declined the “feminist” label. Cameron’s bringing the focus back to cheating, which is the subject of this movie. Cam talked with Redbook and says women shouldn’t blame other women for their men straying. They should look at themselves instead? Maybe not:

Dealing with cheaters: “The best revenge is to move past [the hurt] as quickly as possible and live your life. To do that, you can either take the high road or the low road. I’m not going to tell a woman to become best friends with the girl her boyfriend is cheating with, but I will say, don’t waste your energy focusing on who this woman is, what you think she has that you don’t, or how you can change the guy. If he’s a cheater, he’s a cheater. Just move on.”

Who is to blame with cheating? “We often hold the woman accountable for a guy’s actions. In reality, we need to ask ourselves, Why am I in this position? Did I learn something along the way and not listen to myself? When will I stop being scared to leave something that I know is not good for me?”

Girlfriends are the best: “What’s really valuable about a good friendship is how much you can want for the other person. Take my girlfriend Drew [Barrymore]. She has this beautiful baby and this wonderful husband and this life she’s really worked hard to build, and I’ve watched her through the whole journey. I’m so happy for her.”

[From Redbook]

I don’t think Cameron meant that women should blame themselves when their men cheat. At least I hope she didn’t mean that. It sounds like she poorly worded her reply. Perhaps she was talking about serial cheating. No one is to blame when their partner cheats the first time, but if they cheat again, don’t be surprised? In other words, I think Cameron is saying to get out of a bad relationship while the getting’s good. Help me out here, people.

Cameron Diaz

Photos courtesy of WENN

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93 Responses to “Cameron Diaz: If a man cheats, women should ask ‘why am I in this position’?”

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  1. Nina says:

    She is saying: “what are you learning from this experience”. Also: “how did I end up with a cheater”. And also to not try and justify or rationalize or explain his cheating. A cheater is a cheater.

    • blue marie says:

      Yeah, I don’t think she’s blaming women either. I took it as her saying learn from it and move on.

    • Miffy says:

      Spot on. I think everything she’s saying is dead on and a healthy attitude to finding yourself in an upsetting situation. Same as any negative situation, pick out what you can learn from it and try to grow from it.

    • Mystified says:

      I agree. It always floors me when a woman has an affair with a married man and then is shocked and angered that he in turn cheats on her. Marla Maples Trump is a good example.

      • briargal says:

        And of course, Tori and LeAnn!! How shocked were they that their men cheated on them!!! After all they were much better than the exes!

    • redtree says:

      +1, poorly worded but i get what she’s saying

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Right. Poorly worded but my first husband cheated on me and there were signs that I ignored. It was his fault he cheated, but I take responsibility for overlooking or making excuses for character flaws because I wanted the relationship to work out.

      • blue marie says:

        I’ve done the same thing, and could have kicked myself after. I knew, just didn’t have the confirmation.

      • claire says:

        I think that’s the closest to what I understood her statement to mean.

      • Pandy says:

        That has happened to me but we’re still together and working on us. I think, successfully. Did you just not stick around or did you try and couldn’t move past it or did you try and discovered the cheating still continued? I’m asking as it’s something I’m working through and keeping kind of quiet about and I’m curious about whether I’m spinning my wheels or whether a happy ending is possible.

      • Miffy says:

        Gosh, GoodNames, only seeing this now. Hindsight is always 20/20, the signs always seem so obvious afterwards and, of course, you never want to think that your partner could do that to you.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Hi, Pandy,
        Don’t know if you’ll see this, but I tried to work it out with my exhusband for about a year after I knew he cheated. It was a long, unhappy year. Then he did it again, and I realized that during that year, I had stopped loving him. I now realize that I can’t love someone I don’t trust and respect.

        I think there are men who do something stupid once, and never do it again, and men like my ex who will always cheat. He was not capable of putting my feelings above his need for the thrill or the proof that he was attractive or whatever was driving him. I hope you two can work it out. My ex didn’t want a divorce, but he wasn’t willing to be truly married, either.

        I will never stop believing in happy endings if both parties are all in it together. Good luck to you.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        @Miffy
        Yes, I think I took it to the extreme of denial, but that’s how I coped. It wasn’t good or smart, but I eventually faced the truth. You’re right, I just didn’t want to believe it.

    • Yep. @Goodnames-I think that’s a very, very typical scenario and completely understandable.

      I wonder if she’s referring to anyone in particular…Timbersnake or A-Rod? Hmmmmm….

      • Kiddo says:

        Definitely both. Although her issue with A Rod appeared, at least on the surface, that she was willing to accept the bargain of casual f-buddy from the get, hoping it would evolve into something more. Of course I don’t know what he told her, but it was obvious, and there were enough items written about it at the time (of women floating in and out of the apartment through elevators within minutes of each other), that he was playing the field and never stopped doing so while with her. There could be an argument that that’s not really cheating if it’s upfront.

      • Totally. Done it before myself, on several occasions actually.
        I think with Justin it was real and with A-Rod he was probably just a jump-off, no-strings-attached thing.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Kitten, how’s the zit today?

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        @Goodnames @blue Marie, I’m curious about the signs you ignored. A few years back I got a text message from an anonymous texting service saying “your husband is cheating.” I never had an inkling he was cheating, but the text message still haunts me. I have no idea if I’m missing something or if it was a revenge message from someone who doesn’t like me and/or my husband (like he claims).

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        @Morticians
        At first, it was little lies he told other people for no reason. He was lying to me too, but I didn’t know that. I would know he was lying, and later, when we were alone, call him on it, and he would say he was confused or forgot. So I knew he was dishonest, but I ignored it. Then, there were times when say, at a party, I would walk into a room and he’d be talking to a woman with a certain intensity and the atmosphere would get really uncomfortable when I went over. I couldn’t put my finger on it, it just felt wrong. Or he would tell me he was going somewhere and I just knew he was lying. If I said anything, he’d tell me I was crazy or a nag or say things like he had never cheated on me, but when I acted like this it made him want to. I was confused because there was nothing concrete at first, and I desperately wanted to believe him. But your body knows when something is wrong, sometimes long before you do. My instincts were right, and is should have listened to them.

        Later on, he became more careless, and people would say little things to me, and I thought they were being mean. I ignored it. We were trying to have a baby and I found condoms in his briefcase, and confronted him, and he said someone put them in there for a joke. I knew it wasn’t true, but I couldn’t face it yet. Finally, I found a pair of earrings under my bed that didn’t belong to me, and even I couldn’t deny what was going on any more. I had been trying so, so hard not to know this awful thing, but when I finally did know it, the main thing I felt was relief.

        My advice would be to listen to your instincts. If this text message was an isolated incident, and there are no other signs, unexplained absences, going off to another part of the house to make a phone call, weird little lies, just a feeling that something if off, it could be that someone is just being mean. But listen to your gut. On some level, you know if you can’t trust this person. I hope with all of my heart that you can. But if you can’t, knowing is better than killing your spirit trying not to know. Good luck and best wishes to you.

      • Kiddo says:

        @GoodNamesAllTaken That was some beautiful advice from a lovely person. You’re a good one.

      • Kiddo says:

        @MorticiansDoItDeader, That is some creepy shit, aside from whether it is true or not. I hope things work out for you. There’s no way to trace that text? Did you tell your husband about it? How did he react?

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        @goodnames, wow. I’m so sorry he put you through that. What a creep. Around the time of the anonymous text message my husband was very withdrawn. We had just had a baby and I thought he was just having trouble adjusting. Turns out he was buying Xanax and Valium from a mutual friend (a woman) that he hired to work for him. He got clean and fired her (at my behest) and she started Facebook stalking me. I asked her if anything was going on with them and she denied it. I can’t count on her being honest though, as we’re friends with her fiancé (and I’m sure she wouldn’t want to risk losing him). My husband insists the fishy feeling I had was the weird behavior caused by the drug use and that the text could have been sent by that women (who was angry about being fired) or a guy who wanted to get my husband involved in a scam lawsuit (that my husband wouldn’t get on board with). The one thing that made me *think* he was telling the truth was that the pills made it extremely difficult to get it up (a known side effect of too many of these downers), so I’m thinking he wouldn’t have tried to sleep with anyone else in that condition. After he quit there were no sexual issues whatsoever. However, that text eats away at me. I’m suspicious by nature, because of a cheating father (and a mother who doesn’t trust men), so I’m not sure if its my generally suspicious nature or a serious gut feeling I should follow.

        @kiddo, not only can’t you trace it but you can’t respond to it! I tried to ask follow up questions but it doesn’t go through! I did confront him and that’s when he came clean about the drug use. He seemed relieved to tell me about it because he wanted help but didnt know how to ask. After admitting he immediately committed to getting clean. He took a second job and is drug tested, so I know he is free from all of that junk

      • Ginger says:

        @GoodNames You are so right on! My former fiance was cheating on me and I had a dream one night that he was fooling around with a mutual friend. The dream seemed so real that when I woke up I asked him about it. He had a stricken look on his face that quickly melted into a reassuring one and he swore he had not slept with this woman. I just knew he was lying to me. I think I had the dream because my body/mind was picking up on clues I could not face in the daylight. Later on I had absolute proof he was sleeping around but with a different mutual friend. He had a myriad of other issues in our relationship so I broke up with him. He and I remained on friendly terms until another close friend confirmed my suspicions about him sleeping with the woman from my dream. Even though he and I had already broken up I felt such relief that what I had questioned was true. It was validation that I wasn’t crazy. I stopped speaking to my ex after that confession from our friend. He will still try and tell me how my ex is doing to this day and I have to remind him that I really don’t want to hear about it. I don’t wish him ill will or anything but I’ve moved on and gotten stronger from the experience.

      • He’s not cheating on you, Mort. It was an isolated incident and we both know that bitch is batshit crazy.

        @Goodnames and Ginger-You guys make me wanna renew my vow to stay single forever :(
        Man…guys are such dirtbags. Sorry you two lovely ladies had to go through that.

        Now to more important matters… my zit is almost undetectable! So I’m putting the sassy hat back into the closet where it belongs. Vicks Vaporub–that sh*t is the miracle cure…

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        @Kiddo
        Thanks. You’re a good one, too.

        @Morticians
        Of course I don’t know, but certainly sounds like he is telling the truth. He was probably hiding the drug abuse. Agree with Kitten on this crazy woman.

        @Ginger
        Amazing what your body “knows” before you do! Glad you got out!

        @Kitten
        Yay! Good news. Maybe I’ll rub some Vicks on my inner thighs to grow a thigh gap!

      • Miffy says:

        Mort, it seriously sounds like the thing that he was trying to hide, that you just knew was off, was the drug use. Trying to hide something like that would absolutely create a similar air of suspicion. Whoever sent that text was a spineless creep. If you’re going to get that involved in someone’s business, do it to their face for goodness’ sake!

        GoodNames, I could read your advice all day.

      • blue marie says:

        I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner Mort, but my story is a lot like GoodNames, so I won’t bore you with the details because she gave you better advice then I could.

        What I can offer you though is that chances are it really was the pills that killed his libido, not him sleeping with someone else. I have a friend that was going through the same thing and her husband was not cheating, but his not being able to get it up emasculated him so he just quit trying. It became too embarrassing for him. I agree with OKitt in that it sounds like that lady was being vindictive and trying to break up your marriage.

        @GoodNames
        If only it worked that way, I’d be a walking rub,

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I hope you are all correct about his behavior.

        @blue Marie, I’m so glad he stopped taking those things. He told me he spent A LOT of money on them and felt like he was going to OD a few times. He admitted that the pills made him so depressed he attempted suicide. He was very closed off and not receptive to my attempts at opening a dialogue, so i eventually stopped trying and thought I was doing the right thing by letting him have his space. Part of me doesn’t trust him because he was hiding the drug abuse and suicide attempt. In the back of my mind I feel like he was willing to give up on our marriage if he tried to kill himself (and he may have cheated for a thrill, because he had nothing else to lose-since he wanted to check out). The other part of me thinks a depressed, suicidal person isn’t interested in cheating (particularly when they are having issues getting it up.

        @miffy, I agree. What a spineless thing to do. They weren’t trying to alert me out of concern, or they would do it in person. Even IF he did cheat, that text was intended to create a problem in my marriage. I just can’t imagine someone being that nasty. They took trolling to a whole new level!

    • Kelly says:

      Yeah but “how did I end up with a cheater?” implies it’s somehow your oversight and therefore your failure do to something to prevent it (oh I should have seen it coming etc.), therefore it implies you do have yourself to blame somehow, and that is utter BS.

      Who do you blame when a man cheats? You blame HIM, for gods sake, it’s HIS fault and no one elses.

  2. Jezi says:

    She’s saying if a woman stays with a cheater they have to look at themselves instead of using the energy to focus on the other woman. While its a lovely thought, when you’re going through it you’re not thinking rationally. You’re hurt and your heart is involved. Cameron is a single 40 something year old with no children. It is easier to just jump out of a relationship when there is nothing invested in it.

    • Miffy says:

      Well, I’m a 20-something year old with a toddler and currently five months pregnant who found out last week that I was being cheated on and in my opinion everything she says is true. And positive.

      • Godwina says:

        I’m so sorry. Strength.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        I’m so sorry, Miffy. Stay strong. It gets better, I promise.

      • Miffy says:

        Thank you. Gotta say my little ones give me a lot of strength and something positive to focus on. At least something good came from this situation.

      • Oh, Miffy I’m sorry…..

      • Nina W says:

        My father did the same thing to my mother, unfortunately, and she had three children under age five when he started running around, it ultimately destroyed the marriage. Be strong Miffy, I am very close to my mother, 40 plus years later, and my father is still dealing with the consequences for the family he choose to shatter.

      • Pepsi Presents...Coke says:

        He sounds like my father and my father is walking garbage, so unfortunately you are better off without him. Made things hard as hell for our mother but a bad father figure is worse. You don’t need a creep like that influencing your babies. Men and women like that get worse with age because they know what they”re wrong but they’ll deflect, deflect, deflect and build up a reservoir of bitterness, unacknowledged guilt and emptiness because they know what they wasted. Your former guy wasted the privilege of having you and your children and he’s going to feel it. He just might lash out though. I hope that doesn’t to you, sweetheart. My father decided that I ruined their relationship because because being so much younger than my siblings, I threw off the balance. Do you want some daffodil-brained beta man pulling crap like that around your beautiful family? Nope.

        I ran into my father once and after not having seen him over ten years all he could do was make a crack out of my weight. Not because I have a weight issue, just because he wanted to hurt me. He went off on a tirade about how badly she ‘trained’ me and how I’ll end up alone because I’m just like her. I told him straight up she isn’t the problem because her children love her and his children don’t love him–that’s about as ‘alone’ as a person can get. That shut him up.

        You’re too good for him, screw him. Be strong and happy and blessed and congratulations on your pregnancy. He blew it. Loser.

    • What do you mean? You can’t be deeply invested in a relationship or a marriage if you don’t have kids?
      I very strongly disagree.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        +1000
        I do think children complicate the situation, but it’s wrong and unfair to say someone without children is not invested in their marriage. That’s the sort of thing smug parents say to infertile women like me that makes us want to “accidentally” step on your feet. Lol

      • KAI says:

        Thank you. I was with my now ex-husband for 14 years, had no children, and was devastated when I discovered his cheating. It was common for people to think that because we had no children it would be easy for me to move on. It most certainly was not.

      • Nina W says:

        Infertility sucks but I am most definitely committed to my relationship and deeply invested. The day we married, for me, I made a lifetime commitment. I feel terrible about myself because of my infertility, thanks for asking, but I am just as deeply invested today as the day I agreed to the marriage probably more so. If my husband were to cheat I would be devastated, and he knows cheating is a deal breaker for me. I was completely up front from day one, if he wants to be with someone else that’s his choice but I would rather be single than in a sham marriage. My father cheated on my mother when she had three children under the age of five so my heart really goes out to you Miffy, be strong!

    • Omega says:

      I would argue that it may be easier for a woman (especially one with low self-esteem) with a child to leave a bad relationship especially if she recognises that her choice to stay harms her child. A childless woman WITH low self-esteem simply doesnt have that extra motivating factor to search out something better for herself.

      Whatever the case, Cameron is right about this, nobody married or single, childless or with kids should be sticking with a bad relationship.

    • Jezi says:

      No I’m saying that at all. I’m saying its different. I actually felt it was easier to make the decision to leave a cheating boyfriend when we didn’t have kids then to leave one way we did have one. I’m not trying to insult or put down people without kids. Maybe my wording was wrong.

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        @miffy, I’m so very sorry. Are you leaving him? How did you figure it out?

      • Miffy says:

        @mort, I am. Infidelity has always been my dealbreaker, I know I’m just too suspicious a person to attempt to work on it. Some people can, I can’t. I found out because he flat out told me, laughing, while drunk, like it was hilarious, just to really add extra gusto to that punch in the gut. Needless to say our relationship has not been healthy for a while.

      • sauvage says:

        Miffy, dear, stay strong. Good for you that you value yourself enough to not allow anyone to treat you with disrespect.

        After all is said and done and the heart ache is over, you will mainly feel that you still have yourself to count on and that therefore, you’ll definitely always have someone to look out and stand up for you.

        All the best to you.

      • Mingy says:

        @ Miffy, that’s so fkd! I’m sorry. *Hugs, and wishing you all the best*

    • Deanne says:

      While I agree with the sentiment of what she is saying for the most part, everyone’s situation is different. A close friend of mine had a three day old baby and was caring for her husbands ill Father, when she found out he’d been cheating on her throughout her entire pregnancy. When she was 8 months pregnant and still transferring her father in law from his wheelchair, into bed, her husband was out on the town with some skank he met at the gym. She was a mess and still has severe trust issues. I certainly don’t blame her for not immediately leaving him and “moving on” with her life. It isn’t always that simple or easy. In fact, it bothers me that people think that they get to set a time limit on another person feeling pain. You are right about having kids with someone. It makes it impossible to make a clean break. While it would hurt in any relationship, kids definitely make it a lot more complicated.

  3. embertine says:

    I have another quote she may find useful:
    embertine: If I’m Cameron Diaz, I need to ask myself: “Should I stop talking now?” And the answer is OH GOD PLEASE YES

    • Mata says:

      Seriously! At this point, I don’t care if she’s spewing out the meaning of life. Shut the hell up!!

    • Mrs. Darcy says:

      I was kind of enjoying her anti-Goop’isms until she turned up on the Graham Norton show last week and unfurled the worst kind of embarassing verbal diarrhea “Look at me everybody” whenever the conversation wasn’t centered on her. (For those who haven’t seen it, his guests have to share the whole show with two or three other people, in this instance it was Kylie Minogue, Russell Crowe and Brit director/comedian Richard Ayeode).

      It was just embarassingly immature, she really does come across like an 18 yr old. It fascinates me because so many American stars go on that show and look like idiots, they cannot bear to listen to other people’s stories, or know how to interact with other people in an engaging way. The British (in this case two Australians) guests often make mincemeat of them, which is what happened here. Not slagging them all off, some are awesome, some do the home team proud, but more often than not I’m sort of holding my breathe and cringing for them. They get so excited to swear on t.v. and just act like idiots. (Mark Wahlberg I’m looking at you). I know it’s not easy on them. There’s being a fish out of water and making an effort to adapt, which is charming/winning, and then there’s the obvious display of complete ignorance of anything outside your tiny bubble that shows them up time and time again.

      • Miffy says:

        I love the Graham Norton Show! Have to say, I wouldn’t be a massive fan of his, but Will Smith has been on it twice and he’s always been a great guest. He just gets the concept.

      • Mrs. Darcy says:

        Yes, Will was amazing on it! Loved when he buillt on doing the Fresh Prince rap by following up the next time with a visit from Carlton. He knows the score, completely (even if he did hog most of the show lol!). Matt Damon was also awesome, Sarah Silverman the bomb – many of the big stars are smart and engaged. But the ones who are too used to being the center of attention show themselves very quickly I find! Justin Bieber was unsurprisingly an abomination, and this was long before his real descent.

      • Mrs. Darcy says:

        And I love what Jimmy Fallon is doing with the Tonight Show, in its own way it’s like the American version, shaking things up a bit. Can’t wait to see what Colbert does with Letterman slot.

  4. Frida_K says:

    The woman behind her in the first picture looks like she is seriously, and I do mean seriously, picking her nose.

    • InLike says:

      Hahahhahaha. Now I forgot that the article was about. I can’t stop laughing.

    • blue marie says:

      “No pick! NO PICK!”
      ha, she does look knuckle deep though.

    • ~Z~ says:

      It looks hilarious, and I wouldn’t want to be her…
      But to me, it actually looks like someone else’s hands that are folded and pointing…Actually, I can’t tell….
      But we can just go with her being a picker ~ It’s Friday!

  5. Kiddo says:

    Translation: I figured out that A Rod, et al were cheaters, that I shouldn’t have blamed the new women in their lives, and that I should have left long before I did. Which, actually, is a good bit of self-reflection and pondering on mistakes, and hopefully she is done with repeating that pattern. I suppose she isn’t being specific about her own relationships because it would cause a flame war. She also can’t address this specifically since, at the time, she acted as though the casualness of it all was totally copacetic for her, but in reality, it wasn’t and she was very hurt by it.

  6. maynot says:

    Didn’t she say that all men and women are cheaters? Now she states “if he’s a cheater, he’s a cheater. Move on.”
    I am confused. I really am.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      She said everybody has been cheated on at some point in their life. I don’t agree with her, but that’s my recollection of what she said.

  7. Lindsey Gregory says:

    I came in here all mad as hot, wishing Cam would shut the hell up, or talk about pubic hair. I think she worded it poorly, especially to the second question but she’s saying a cheater is a cheater and move the hell on. Wise words, actually.

    • decorative item says:

      I think that’s what the manipulation of the story intended you to do. She clearly wasn’t blaming the victim.

  8. lucy2 says:

    I think she has good intentions with all this advice she keeps doling out, but…I don’t know, maybe we don’t need to know Cameron Diaz’s every thought on everything.

  9. Rice says:

    She makes some valid points. Stop wasting time worrying about the “cheatee” (other woman) and worry about why the guy is being a douche. Some guys try to pull a fast one by blaming their Significant Other for their wandering phallus , when in fact, the guy is just being an a-hole. Also, surround yourself with good, solid friends (male and/or female).

    On another note, I’d like to see pics of Leslie’s dress because it seems to be the most interesting of the three.

  10. Maya says:

    Ding ding ding – ladies and gentlemen we officially have Goop 2.

  11. Josephina says:

    Cheating is not done as a goal to improve a marriage or relationship- it is a very selfish act. If the man is a serial cheater, then he has entitlement issues and has chosen to cheat as a lifestyle choice (See Eddie Cibrian, Sandra Bullock’s ex-husband). I do know several men who have been married 20, 30, 40 and even 60 years but cheated during the first 1/2 or 1/3 of their marriage. These type of men enjoy lusting after women, period. Once a man gets comfortable with having his cake and eating it too, it will literally take divine intervention or a traumatic event to get him to value his marriage and respect his wife.

    i think Cameron meant that a woman should focus on herself when a man cheats. What would be a reason to stay in a marriage, participating in an intimate relationship with someone you really don’t know and who is untrustworthy? What is it that you really need from him? Should you really promise your lifetime to a man that does not fear the risk of losing you? (The greater the love, the greater the risk.) Are you in love with the lies that he told you, the hopeful perception of a husband he created for you even though he is unwilling or unable to fill the shoes? What about the loneliness and the lack of attention? Why are you OK with loneliness and lack of attention INSIDE of a marriage? Is half a man better than no man at all?

    When a woman CHOOSES to focus on the other woman instead of herself, she is purposely avoiding the truth about her relationship and the opportunity to learn from the experience. (YES, it’s true. Some experiences require pain and loss in order for you to grow.) MANY women believe that if they just get rid of the other woman, they won and can go back to their “normal” lives- which is a delusional life of lies, confusion and betrayal, void of trust, respect, love, accountability and consequence.

  12. GeeMoney says:

    The fact that she kept going back to these cheating men time and time again says a lot about how much self-worth she had at that time.

    With that said, I can understand that when you are in a relationship with someone and they hurt you badly, it’s not easy to just up and walk away. She has my sympathy on that, and she probably tried her best to make it work. I think JT cheated on her big time (who knows what he’s doing/done to Jessica Biel). But to get involved with A-Rod after being hurt like that by Justin? Geez. For the life of me, I don’t understand why she didn’t learn a huge lesson the “first” time around.

    It seems as if she has grown and learned something after all of that. Hopefully she finds someone who will be good to her in the future.

  13. A:) old prude says:

    She can say whatever she wants. Who on Earth takes er seriously anyway.

  14. decorative item says:

    I think it’s quite clear that she was not blaming the woman being cheated on.
    I also think it’s quite clear that the tile of this story was intentionally manipulated to start a firestorm and generate hits. In fact, I feel like I’ve been manipulated and lied too. Now, I suppose I will have to have a good look at myself and reflect on why I feel the need to stay in a relationship where I’m obviously being treated like a fool.

  15. Tadzio says:

    I agree with Cameron on everything she said except for her “Girlfriends are the best” comment. This maybe true for her and Drew, but this is not true in most female friendships. In order to have a solid female friendship each individual has to be secure within themselves because if not one person (or both hence the term “frenemies”) will always end up resenting and envying the other. This happens 99% of the time in female frienships. I have never had this problem in my straight male friendships. Actually the males were more supportive and strangely more nuturing than any of my so-called “female friends” (who were always two-faced and backstabbing).

    @Miffy – I’m sorry to hear that. Just don’t let that bad experience with a guy turn you into a bitter young women. Bitterness will only block you from receiving, accepting, and experiencing real love in your life. Always remember ALL men aren’t bad. ALL men aren’t that loser you had a bad relationship experience with.

    • decorative item says:

      I’ve had some horrible female friend, but I’ve also had some wonderfully supportive and faithful female friends. Yes, I agree that you need to enter a friendship as a whole, well centered person, or else the relationship disintegrates quickly.

      • Mrs. Darcy says:

        I have had amazing girlfriends, and not so amazing girlfriends, but I can’t imagine the whole being only friends with guys thing (and two of my good friends were mainly guy friend type girls for a time, one of them to the point where she just didn’t know how to be a girlfriend at all. But I learned to love that about her). I just don’t get it, I have needs that only a gay man or another female can fulfill! I do agree that female friendships can be more fraught with drama, but that said most of the deepest betrayals I have known have been between male friends.

  16. allons-y alonso says:

    I think Diaz had good intentions going into this kind of debate, but, she has gone and opened her mouth and pulled a ScarJo. What an omnishambles.

  17. FingerBinger says:

    Why do books/magazines/sites etc, keep posting the musings of Cameron Diaz like she Aristotle? She must be trying to transition to a lifestyle guru/advise career.

  18. Tiffany says:

    There seems to be commenters who are saying that Cameron should stop talking. She is promoting a movie in which the male lead is a serial cheater, of course she is going to talk about cheating as it goes with the subject matter. This is just not things she is randomly talking about these things. The woman needs to be cut some slack.

  19. sorella says:

    Ugh…celebrities.so many of them suffer from foot-in-mouth disease, silly things that come out wrong. MOST of them can’t verbalize anything well or articulate without a written script. But many are uneducated and choose fame and glory versus schooling, learning and general brain usage like many of us in the real world. Celebrities “just like us”…um, no..the dumbed down version of us is what most of them are!!

    And I LIKE Cameron, I get she is promoting a movie on that. But sometimes less is best out of the mouths of celebs (Scarjo included and MANY others).

  20. poppy says:

    the cheek implants are scary in the group picture. or fillers. what is going on?

  21. Kiki Krumweide says:

    I think she’s encouraging women to notice and pay attention to the red flags that pop up along the way and, if they’re serious red flags, to get out. Hindsight is 20/20 and red flags always become more obvious looking back at them. Sometimes, we have a tickle of a memory that tells us, “oh, yeah. I did notice that about him, but I guess I brushed it off.” We have powerful intuition. I think she’s saying: listen to your intuition and, if you look back and see some red flags that you ignored, learn the lesson that your intuition is usually right.

  22. I never understood why the cheated on person always attacks the ‘other woman/man’…..I’ve never understood that. I could see if that person was your friend, a close friend, or a relative, but other than that? They shouldn’t even be on your radar.

    EDIT: my next paragraph now sounds REALLY silly, now that I read it, ah well

    I know that if it was me, I’d be doing my revenge, Southern style. Well, wanna-be Southern style. I would be the type of person to make a BIG dinner–like I’d be soaked chicken in some buttermilk, making cornbread, homemade macaroni and cheese, greens with ham, a baked ham, glazed in honey and cinnamon…..and for dessert I’d be making like a Lane cake, or a three layer chocolate one. something like that.

    Except I’d be swapping sugar for salt, soaked the chicken in something that is absolutely disgusting, etc…….I’m too chicken to burn clothes in cars, like in Waiting to Exhale…so messing up the food and then throwing house keys at his head would be my best bet….I know I’m going to be the girlfriend/wife that cooks a lot…….

  23. stinky says:

    bow-WOW.
    that is all.

  24. Kerrboom says:

    I always blame the cheater and I’ll also blame the person they’re cheating with if said person knows the cheater is in a relationship. I mean, have some morals and treat others how you want to be treated, ya know?

  25. Kelly says:

    How about we stop making excuses for men and stop finding faults within women. A cheating dude is an a**hole and it’s his fault all the way.

  26. Emily C. says:

    I think she’s uneducated and ignorant and doesn’t know how to say what she wants to say. I also think she is not someone whose life advice should be listened to as if she knew what she were talking about. If she gave advice on how to get ahead in Hollywood, that might be worth listening to. Advice on men? Cameron Diaz, seriously? Her best advice would be “don’t date the kind of guys I date.”

  27. Evi says:

    She has a point and I don’t think that she is blaming women for the cheating their partners do, it’s just that the quote is taken a little out of context. I think she is a proponent of moving on and not lingering in areas that she cannot resolve. No one can resolve the issues that cheaters have but the cheaters themselves.
    Cameron is an example of someone who doesn’t linger in bad relationships and she is not a person who defines herself by the relationships she is in at the time.

  28. LAK says:

    It’s been said before, but i’ll say it again. Her face looks so much better now it’s settled and or she’s stopped/lessened the botox/fillers etc

  29. Nibbi says:

    she’s right. So are the other ladies here who are saying ‘listen to your gut. you do deserve better and you’re better off on your own than stuck in a sham.’ wish i had been that tough the first time around.