People Magazine has a new interview with Mark Wahlberg ahead of the release of Transformers: another excuse to blow sh*t up with giant robots. It’s all about his family and how he sees life as a dad, which isn’t unlike his Esquire cover and profile last month, for their Fatherhood issue. Mark shares some of the same sentiments with People. He tries to be there for his kids and he’s conscious of his role as a dad. Mark has four children with his wife, Rhea: daughters Ella, 10 and Grace, 4, and sons Michael, 8, and Brendan, 5. I like some of what he said about trying to be an involved parent, but his thoughts about his daughters sounded antiquated to me. Here are some excerpts from Mark’s interview.
He tries to teach his kids humility
I want to give them all the things I never had but make sure they understand it’s not normal and that it takes hard work to get what you want. You have to provide them with the tools that will make them good people. Material things aren’t going to make them good people; education and being active in the church will. The kids are in Catholic school.On having boys vs. girls
The boys will be difficult in some ways that the girls won’t, but I’m dreading the teenage years with my daughters; it’s not going to be easy for them to go on a date. But I’m hoping one nice, nerdy boy will come into each of their lives at the right time when they’re twenty something and they’ll be with that person forever.He wants his kids to go to college, not act
Ella already says things like “I want your job!” As long as the kids know they need to get a college education first, and after I teach them all the pros and cons of the business, if it’s something they still want to do, I’ll support them 110 percent.How they stay involved with their kids
Rhea and I want to be a team and involved in every aspect of the kids’ lives that we can. Rhea is an incredible mother and wife and so hands-on. I took our three older kids to school this morning, and she was taking Grace shopping, and then she’ll pick up the kids from school. We have help, but we don’t want the kids doing their activities with other people. It’s not easy, but it’s how we always pictured things.
[From People Magazine, print edition, July 7, 2014]
I like what Mark said about feeling like it’s his job as a parent to step up and go to his kids’ events and not foist it off onto the staff. He admitted that he has help but said that he still tries, which is nice to hear. It did bother me that he honed in on his daughters dating in the future as problematic and didn’t seem to worry at all about what his boys would be doing. Shouldn’t he be concerned about his sons dating too? That sounds short-sighted to me, but I guess a lot of parents worry about that.
Photos are from the Transformers: Age of Extinction premiere on 6-25-14 and of Wahlberg with his boys at a Laker’s game in March. He’s also shown out on 6-2-14. Credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet
He might have been asked only about the daughters, though. They might have kind of asked him the whole “are you going to be the dad who tries to scare the boyfriends, etc?”.
Overall, though, I think his sentiments were pretty nice.
Yeah, I got thet impression too. And I think he was joking.
He sounds really good here.
Honestly, dads just worry more about their little girls starting to date. I think it’s just built into them
When I was pregnant, we didn’t find out gender. My husband said he didn’t care either way cause he would treat his kid the same regardless of gender. Except he was scared of having a girl because he didn’t want her to date
We have a girl. He occasionally looks at her and mumbles something about homeschooling lol
That’s pretty adorable. I think men just generally remember what they were like as a teenaged boy, and are repulsed by another teenaged boy being around their little girl.
My friend always says, “when you have a boy you have to worry about 1 penis. When you have a girl you have to worry about ALL the penises.” Cracks me up every time. (I have girls).
I’m with @Audrey on this. My parents had to deal with 3 girls, no boys. My mom was cool about dating and always nice and funny to our boyfriends, unless she had one of her “bad feelings”, which I later learned to respect as one of them almost killed my dumb ass. They were also cool with me saying I might like girls sometimes. My dad said “You never could make up your mind-don’t tell me anymore, do your business”. LOL. He was great, too.
Idk I hate the double standard but, at the same time that’s his children and god knows how he’s seen women being treated in his industry.
or how he himself has treated women…
I don’t have a problem with anything he has said. Finding a nice boy (or girl) and being with that person forever only means he wishes they find real and lasting love. Nothing wrong with that.
I like what he said, too; I don’t think he was coming from a place where he *wasn’t worried about his boys in the future* at all, I just think that he, like any good father, worries about the way young women are seen/treated in society today. And yes, young women are treated horribly in the movie/music industry.
I wanted a girl so badly while I was pregnant; I was actually a little depressed when I found out I was having a boy (I’d already miscarried a girl, then after my son I had cancer and no more children for me) but I have been thankful almost every day of his life that he IS a boy. Even though he’s 25 now, he’s still my heart and of course I want him to find a nice girl to settle down with and never have to go through a painful divorce like I did. I think that’s a very common wish that we parents have for our child/ren, but it does seem antiquated so most of us don’t always say it out loud. 🙂
I think Mark has a beautiful family, and when a man obviously is crazy about his wife and children I will always have a soft spot for him.
Did he ever apologize for beating a man blind and calling him racial epithets?
Mark is trash.
Mark says”You have to provide them with the tools to make them good people” Does that mean not hurting other people who might be different from them? And meaning it when you say sorry? Hopefully his children do not follow his example
Exactly.
Yup. Talk is all well and good, but the chasing and torturing the African-American children in the park – deliberately blinding that Vietnamese man and then boasting about it -to me that is just so evil I can’t get beyond that.
And the man is an actor, a good one, I think. Of course he knows how to talk a good game.
He does have a disgusting past. I dont think anyone but him and those involved are capable of deciding if he is remorseful… his thoughts on the matter are easily searchable and seem sincere. Who knows if he actually is though. He does say that actively working toward helping people every day since has helped to feel closer toward atonement for his sins. What else can a man do? In this sense, I do hope his children follow his example because we all make awful choices at some point in our lives.
What else could he do? He could make actual, concrete steps toward atonement toward the actual people he wronged (at least the guy he blinded). And he’s said he doesn’t feel bad about it anymore because it was all in the past. I think someone who really felt remorse wouldn’t shrug it off so easily. He seems like a good father so props for that, but that doesn’t make him that much of a better person.
Hope I didn’t come across as too harsh toward you – not my intention! I appreciate that you are trying to present a balanced view.
Faye – not harsh at all! I am just pondering his remorse/lack of and you’re making a good case with info I wasn’t aware of. He IS in a position to make amends for what he did and he doesn’t seem like he wants to do it which makes me question the extent of his remorse. That said, if I were him I definitely would not be discussing it in depth with any journalists. Even if I had made financial amends or just asked for forgiveness I’d not talk about it either. 1. It would be personal 2. I wouldnt feel as though I had to make a public declaration of remorse. Point is, I would have a hard time believing him if he grovelled to journalists, know what I mean?
Either way, grovelling or none… his past is disgusting and it makes me side eye everything he says. I hope I dont sound like I am trying to defend him!
@Lady – You make some excellent points. Thanks for a great (and civil 🙂 discussion.
I know people hold his past very much against him but I for one think he has learned from his past and is a good dad to his children. Sounds like they have a nice family life together.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, it’s not just his “past,” it’s the fact that he seems to show little to no remorse for what he’s done, and feels no need to try and make amends. Watch his 60 minutes interview with Lara Logan if you can find it on YouTube – it’s quite edifying, and not in a way that’s flattering to him. He *blinded a man for life,* and when she asked if he felt bad about it, he literally shrugged and said he did his time, so it’s in the past. He never made amends in any financial way – a man who is a millionaire many times over. He didn’t even feel the need to say he was sorry! He thinks because he did some time, that just makes it okay. No.
And for someone who touts himself as being such a good Christian, shouldn’t he set an example by making amends for the past?
Interesting. Great points.
He shouldn’t have to pay. If he did his time, he did his time – that was the punishment ordered by the courts. Doesn’t mean it’s right – but he did what was ordered.
Now, I agree that he should have been more up on an apology, and he sure as hell should have had some empathy…but other than that? No. If he’s not been ordered to pay the man, he doesn’t legally have to be obligated to do so.
@Erinn – At the time it happened, he didn’t have any money, which might be part of the reason why a lawsuit was never considered.
In any case, my point was never that he should LEGALLY be obligated to pay anything – obviously that’s not the case. I’m talking from a moral standpoint. He styles himself as this super-religious, very good person. And, at least in my religion, you can’t even ask God for forgiveness unless you make it right with the person you hurt first. To me, if he’d made some attempt to do that, it would certainly indicate he felt true remorse for his past and had made concrete efforts to change.
I think he’s pretty typical for someone who supposedly follows religion strictly and sends his kids to a school that probably relies more on the Bible than science.
+1,000!!
Just need to defend catholic schools a little bit- catholic schools, at least all the ones I know about/attended are great school with a strong education in science. Catholics are not very into the big bang or teaching from the bible. They believe in the bible, and many do believe certain principles of the bible, but they are not usually “following it” at least 70% of the catholics I know support gay marriage and women’s rights. At my school we had religion class but it was about all religions, we learned about many different faiths. And my science program was one of the best in the state.
Agreed, @CF. I went to a religious school from k-12 (not Catholic) with an extremely strong “secular” studies program, and when I got to college I was far more prepared in the sciences that many students from public schools.
The Catholic Church acknowledges the evolution. We are not sola scriptura either.
I had Catholic Religion for 12 years and we learned about the Big Bang, about other religions, etc. We were also though to love and respect homosexuals because being a homosexual is not a sin.
Thank you. I’m an atheist who grew up in a catholic school and, academically, it was excellent. They told us all about the big bang and evolution, as theories that differed from creationism. I remember that day we even had a very interesting discussion about if all those theories were compatible. Obviously our arguments didn’t make much sense back then, but hey, I think promoting healthy debate among young ones could never be bad.
Catholic schools that I attended DID teach science, and yes the Big Bang and evolution was taught. Catholicism is not anything like born again Christianity with their dismissal of science. Catholic schools are not anti science , not at all. I went to catholic elementary, high school and then NYU, and I was just as prepared and knowledgeable as my fellow students. I believe catholic universities such as Georgetown,Notre Dame, Villanova, Fordham, and Loyola have a top notch science education.
Just want to add to the Catholic school thing. I learned science, God was only spoke of in religion class (ALL forms of God worldwide), we learned to love everyone regardless of their gender, race, sexual orientation etc.
Catholic schools (at least the ones I attended) study actual science! Yes, we were required to take Religion class and study the Bible, but that doesn’t mean we were taught people lived with the dinosaurs or confused The Flintstones with actual history. 🙂 My freshman year in high school my religion class was actually World Religion, where we studied ALL the different religions around the world, past and present. And my worst experience in high school was having to dissect a frog in life science class my sophomore year. Actually, I take that back – it was when a boy in my class put his frog in the microwave…
He sends his kids to Catholic schools. Catholics are not creationists and do not have a literal interpretation of the bible, so they see no contradiction with modern science, including the theory of evolution. They don’t memorize the bible chapter and verse, although bits of it appear in the Mass (different ones every day) and study of it would be normal. But Catholics see the bible as just one of many religious resources. They have a very long history and plenty of other things to study in religion class. I survived 16 years of Catholic education and we always had plenty of time to learn everything kids in public schools did, so we were hardly drowned in religion. And I had sufficient background to go on to a Ph.D. In two physical sciences.
I went to Catholic school for 10 years up until high school which I went to an Anglican school (yup had a Christian education most of my school life). My catholic school emphasized learning science, languages and maths, that I was advanced when I changed schools (my Maths education was way advanced that the kids in class in my other school). Catholics aren’t anti-modern science, in fact, I think there was too much emphasis on science rather than history (which I loved).
Right now I’m at a Jesuit university and I absolutely love it. Never had a problem with any catholics shoving their religion down their throat or be un-accepting of other theories and faiths. Just wanted to point out that I say this as an atheist.
Don’t knock catholic schools. We’re not catholic but we chose to send our kids to catholic school because public schools in our area is a joke. Personally, I find catholic school to be a bit more open and accepting than other religious schools. They also separate religion from core studies which we appreciate. My relative sends his kids to a baptist private school and they push religion hard. Religion even shows up in science books – which I disagree with.
Eh, I don’t see the problem with what he said at all.
I don’t like him one bit and was prepared to sh*t on his sexist views on dating but … I can’t. This is what a lot of dads think/say about their daughters in particular. They know how teenage boys are (and twentysomething guys as well) so I get it. Plus, I feel like he simply described his ideal scenario. He probably knows it’s not going to happen.
He’s a typical Dad when it comes to the topic of his daughters dating someday. Dad’s remember what THEY were like as young guys, and what they were doing and what they wanted. It’s all fine and dandy because at that time they aren’t thinking about the girls being someone’s daughters. Now when it comes to their own, it’s a different story. Likewise is what the girls wear. They don’t want their daughters running around looking like the ones they were chasing after back in the day. My husband will joke about some of the Dads from his youth, but when it came time for our daughter to start dating he became just as protective as any other.
Young women are human in their own right not just valuable for being someone’s daughter. They also have sexual desires and curiosities that shouldn’t be squelched just because it makes dad uncomfortable. Teen boys might be immature in their pursuit of sex, but that doesn’t make them the enemy. Most teen boys aren’t out to hurt or dehumanize their female classmates.
I wonder what would happen if the daughter brought home a nice, nerdy black boyfriend?
Or a nice nerdy girl.
I have three sisters, and my dad always told us ‘don’t get married, men are d-cks.’
I wish I had grown up in your house haha
The comment might be well intentioned but it’s dismissive of female sexual desire. There’s a world of sexual exploration out there for your daughters to enjoy before they truly figure out who they are and what they want in a life partner…or even whether monogamy is right for them. You should hope for your daughters to be intelligent, self confident, and happy, not relics from the 17th century.
Wait, Mark Wahlberg says he’d like his daughters to find a nice guy to fall in love with when they’re in their 20s, and you think that would make them “relics from the 17th century”? Really?
Yes because he wants to dictate their sexual futures with the strong implication he hopes they only have one sex partner in life. Why not just wish them happiness in whatever path they choose?
I 100% agree with what you’re saying, but I also think it’s commonplace for dads to not want to think about their daughters’ sexuality. Even my most progressive guy friends got weird when they had daughters. One of my best guy friends is a great father to his two little girls and he (and his wife) are committed to raising strong, independent daughters, but even he says stuff like, “I want them to be happy and fulfilled by making their own choices, but I also want to put them in a convent and not let them out until they’re 35.” I think there’s probably some kind of evolutionary drive that develops in fathers to protect their daughters. It’s like he knows what he’s thinking is out-dated and not relevant, but he can’t help it.
Posted in wrong place.
“Relics from the 17th century”? Eh… I’m pretty sure if he thought of his daughters like that he wouldn’t be talking about sending them to college to get a higher education and letting them choose whatever career they want.
He said he HOPES for them to find everlasting love with a smart and caring husband. I think every parent wishes that for any of his children, male or female. He didn’t say that’s what they should do, but what he would prefer. He’s a father, and fathers are always more protective of their girls than their boys when it comes to relationships, from knowing what most young boys are like. Saying he totally dismisses his daughter’s sexuality for a comment like that is incredibly exaggerated.
“He said he HOPES for them to find everlasting love with a smart and caring husband.”
Okay, let’s approach this from a different angle. That’s incredibly hetero-normative. How does he know his daughters are straight? They might be gay, bisexual, more inclined towards polyamory, or simply more interested in a career or personal fulfillment than getting married young. It is incredibly outdated and patriarchal to be thinking about heterosexual marriage as your daughter’s presumed destiny. Or your son’s, for that matter.
Part of the problem with political correctness is that it often tries to exaggerate and distort what someone said, and twist it into something “offensive”, then demand an apology from the person for saying it. Mark Wahlberg wasn’t being insulting to women, feminists or gays with his comment. He does NOT have to apologize and he does NOT have to explain any further. GET OVER IT. He was talking about wanting his own daughters to find stable relationships when they become adults. He, as a parent, is entitled to say what he wants for his children. It is sad that PC freaks now want to twist and distort that comment to mean something ugly.
@bettyrose
Most women in occident are straight and want a monogamous relationship. Is it really that wrong to assume your 10 year old daughter who has most likely shown no signs of not being hetero will fit this norm? And I don’t get why you have to bring up a career in this – did you conveniently forget the part where he says he’ll put them all through college and prioritize their education?
My guess is he was asked how he feels about his girls starting dating, and he said he hopes they find a nice guy who will really love them. I’m a full on feminist and I fail to see how that is a sexist sentiment.
@Tang
My thoughts exactly. I hate when people bring up this argument, but at times like this you realize people nowadays really are TOO sensitive.
Getting married in your 20s doesn’t make you old fashioned or a “relic from the 17th century”. Good grief. And sexual exploration is not everything its cracked up to be. There are lots of diseases out there. Also having sex with men you don’t know well can be dangerous in other ways. One can marry young and still be a feminist and believe in equality for both genders. And just because someone doesn’t sleep around, doesn’t mean they don’t have equality. And Mark Wahlberg doesn’t have to reorganize his statement to say “I want them to find a nice partner”, in order to be considerate of the gay community. He owes no one an apology for anything he has said. He has said nothing wrong!
Josefa & Tang – This is getting out of hand and I really should just walk away but . . . my point was that a father should not be discussing or trying to dictate his daughter’s future sexuality. I offered a variety of reasons for why that is – but I never said he should apologize or discuss other forms of sexuality. Okay, yes, I cringe a little at assumptions of “normalcy” with children because it is very harmful to whatever percentage of us do not fit into that mold – so I offered another perspective – but believe me I did not expect “political correctness” from a conservative, traditionally leaning father, just for him to stay mum on the entire issue of female sexuality. Let’s stay away from the straw man arguments, m’kay?
Obviously not everyone found his words as creepy as I did. What if he’d said “I hope my sons all become accountants”? Would none of you have found that a little creepy? Why pigeon hole your children into such narrow outlooks? Why not just want them to have strong characters and happy lives?
They obviously aren’t good tippers – the stylist obviously didn’t want Rhea back!
I agree with Faye, it sounds like he wants his daughters to find someone who isn’t like him–past and present.