Robert Downey Jr. forced son Indio into rehab, Indio has been using for years?

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Indio Downey, Robert Downey Jr.’s 20-year-old son, was arrested on Sunday for possession of cocaine. He was detained briefly, then he made bail (RDJ may have bailed him out) and shortly afterwards, RDJ made a statement about Indio’s drug abuse and how the arrest was a welcome wake-up call. Apparently, there have been rumors in the past that Indio was following his father’s self-destructive path and that RDJ has been attuned to it but he couldn’t do much about it. Now The Daily Mail reports that RDJ has basically forced his son into rehab (sidenote: it’s disconcerting to hear RDJ referred to as “Bob” throughout this article – do his friends really call him “BOB”?).

Robert Downey Jr was well aware of his son’s struggle with drug addiction and has tried everything to help him, according to a family friend. Now Downey is making sure Indio Downey is getting the treatment he needs. According to sources, Indio is receiving treatment for drug addiction at Cliffside in Malibu. Indio has been to rehab in the past but a family friend says they are hopeful the treatment he will receive at Cliffside will work.

‘Bob not only knows about Indio’s struggles, he’s tried everything, as all parents do, including kicking Indio out of the family home, followed by boundaries and tough love. None has worked,’ the friend explained. ‘Cliffside may work because it’s got an approach that Indio will hopefully not resist. Indio is his father’s son. They both don’t go for controlled orders about praying to a ‘god’ for help and the 12 steps, the way Downey sees it, is requiring you to believe in God, and though both Downeys may believe, they don’t want it forced on them for sobriety purposes.’

Cliffside uses a different model in it’s attempts to help addicts recover that does not involve the 12 steps. The center offers ‘cutting-edge, evidence-based, life-saving, holistic treatment in a luxury estate setting’, run by ‘industry leading professionals’. Each patient is given a dedicated therapist ‘helping you uncover the deep underlying issues that caused addiction in the first place, and healing your mind, body and spirit along the way’

‘That’s why Bob put Indio in Cliffside,” says the friend. But, and there’s a big ‘but’ here, Indio didn’t go into rehab completely willingly. ‘His dad’s lawyers are insisting in hopes of a plea bargain when court time comes. This means that since Indio is not choosing to get clean on his own but is somewhat forced to, the sobriety may not stick.’

The friend added that Indio has been using drugs for eight years but hasn’t been able to stay clean.

‘Indio’s been using drugs and hard drugs as well for eight years so there’s been a million interventions and conversations and threats and AA meetings and sponsors. The list goes on. None of it took, for the simple fact that Indio enjoys getting high and he found no compelling reason to not get high. It hasn’t affected his health yet, and he’s never going to find himself homeless, penniless and on the streets so the boy hasn’t hit the preverbial ‘bottom.’ It’s a tough road and Bob kicked Indio out of the house a few years ago, on the tough love principal, and that didn’t work, either. So we’ll see.’

‘Bob doesn’t feel guilty. He knows Indio is doing this by choice. I can promise you that Bob is blessing those arresting officers because he knew that the only way to help his son at this late stage is for law enforcement to intervene and for Indio to get into the legal system. Bob also knows that if it takes jail time for Indio, so be it. Right now, Bob bailed him out, put him in a $45,000 a month rehab in the Malibu hills, and has given his son the leg up he needs to either make it or break it on his own. Now, it’s up to Indio.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Cliffside is where Lindsay Lohan went the last time. And she’s still a mess, so I don’t know what to tell you. Theoretically, I can see how the more traditional rehab systems might not work on a case like Indio Downey, although I think it’s a bad sign that RDJ can’t seem to follow through on tough love – Indio got arrested and his dad bailed him out. RDJ forced him into rehab so that Indio would look better for the court case. If it was just a matter of some marijuana, I would say it’s no big deal at all. But it sounds like Indio likes the hard stuff. Just like his dad, unfortunately. Ugh. This situation is so awful.

Photos courtesy of Getty, WENN.

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101 Responses to “Robert Downey Jr. forced son Indio into rehab, Indio has been using for years?”

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  1. Esmom says:

    If he’s been using for 8 years, that means he started when he was 12? That’s mind boggling. My 12 year old’s idea of partying is playing nerf guns with his friends and drinking Coke vs. his usual water or milk. To him the hard stuff is Mountain Dew.

    Sounds like Indio never had a childhood. And if he is resisting treatment it will be a long uphill battle. Wishing him and RDJ strength and ultimately peace.

    • AlexandraJane says:

      that was my thought, perhaps the article is exaggerating the length of time he has been using? I hope so. Coke to most 12 years is cola, but I can understand he was not ‘most’ 12 year olds in terms of what he has seen / been exposed to.

    • Luca26 says:

      I’m not sure why it’s mind boggling sad for sure but Indio grew up with two addicted parents. RDJ was 2 years sober at the time. He had seen his father in and out of rehab and jail and who knows what else was going on in the home.

      People put RDJ up on a pedestal but while I don’t think it’s his fault per se he certainly wasn’t a good role model at the time. Like I said in another post the first 10 years of a child’s life are a parent has much more influence then the next 10. Whatever changes he’s made it really isn’t the same as a young Indio having a strong father figure as a young child.

      • Chris says:

        That’s the price you pay when you put your career and love life ahead of your child’s welfare.

      • Esmom says:

        I get what you’re saying, I guess it I shouldn’t be surprised about Indio’s issues — it reminds me a little of Drew Barrymore’s situation — but when I think of the typical 12 years olds I know it’s just such a world of difference and I guess that is what boggles my mind. Very sad indeed.

      • Nevermindme says:

        It’s not that they put him on a pedestal; most people like him because once he got clean he blamed no one but himself. Yes he said his father started him on drugs but as he got older he made the choice to continue using .

        People keep asking why the need to bring up Angie Jolie’s past but they do the same with RDJ. It’s been over 10 years since he’s been clean but still answers to it in interviews.

        It’s sad that his son has taken that same path of self destruction and it must break his dad’s heart. For years RDJ has been doing charitable work and most people don’t even know because he doesn’t do it for publicity. He gives a lot of money to rehab facilities and jobs to those who get clean. I wouldn’t have ever known that he gave scholarship money to a rehab center in Fla until a mother of a recovering addict thanked him via FB and he answered her. He’s also producing a project about Venice Beach and the drug community.

        It saddens me that he is doing all these wonderful things for others but seems to fall short when it comes to his son.

      • Twofer says:

        Absolutely. While noone forced Indio to take drugs, the environment his dad with his own drug issues cant be ignored. One of the reasons why drug abuse runs in families is due to the turmoil a parents drug use causes young impressionable minds. Certainly seems to be a thing with these dynastic hollywood homes (the Sheens, the Barrymores, the Douglasess, the Penns, the Arquettes etc)

        Also didnt RDJ talk about his first taste of drugs being from his dad before he even hit his teens or am I confusing him with Sean Penn?

      • Luca26 says:

        @
        NEVERMINDME

        I respectfully disagree with you. People do tend to put RDJ on a pedestal. Tons of comments about what a great father he is etc. Comments about how Indio should know better seeing how RDJ turned around his life around.

        Now I specifically don’t want to blame RDJ but the huge difference between Angelina and RDJ is as far as we know she’s not been on drugs while she’s been a parent. Indio went through RDJs drug problems with him. Had to see his father go to jail, maybe saw him high and god knows what else. So it is a factor in what is happening to Indio now more than just genetics.

        It’s not my intention to blame RDJ but I do think there is a huge difference between having a wild child past your kids will learn about or having an drug problem your kid had to live through.

      • Nevermindme says:

        @Luca I respect your opinion. Actually I wasn’t referring to AJ”s drug past but the homewrecking stigma that some people just can’t seem to let go of.

        If people put RDJ on a pedestal, that’s their choice but you can’t speak for all. He has his haters as well. I read various sites and not everyone is a fan. I guess you haven’t heard the rumors where his bisexual past is brought up. There’s rumors out that the case he carries around are not the so called vitiamins that he takes but it’s actually meds because he is HIV positive due to having unprotected sex with men when he was using.

        So no, not everyone puts him.on a pedestal as you can clearly see by the comments made on C/B over the last few days.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        I wish people would just understand that you can be the most amazing, involved parent in the world and that does not guarantee that your kid won’t end up with an addiction.

        I’m just so tired of people always acting like it’s a failure on the part of the parents. Yes, sometimes is it can be, but not always.

      • Nevermindme says:

        I agree Kitten. I do understand that people will be more critical of RDJ due to past addiction and say like father, like son. But what about the kids and adults who use drugs whereas their parents never touched the stuff. A lot of these kids came from homes where their parents were heavily involved in their lives and know the danger of drugs yet they chose to use anyways. Do we blame those parents?

        I know people right now who use coke but I bet you couldn’t tell by looking at them . Fortunately for the few I know they don’t use on a regular basis.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @ Nevermindme- People like to blame bad parenting because it’s easier to believe that a parent did something wrong instead of understanding the truth, which is that teenager’s susceptibility to drug addition is much harder to control than most of us think. If people accept the latter, then they’d have to face the fact that it could happen to their kid too and that scares them shitless.

        People should watch these parents, many of whom are middle-to-upper class, loving and involved parents cry about their kids who became addicted to heroin.
        http://www.cbsnews.com/media/heroin-diaries-personal-stories-of-addiction-recovery-and-loss/

        Maybe people will start to realize that all it takes is a teenager with a curious mind as well as easy access to the drug to become addicted. Most of these parents had NO idea their kid was doing drugs until they OD’d for the first time.

      • Luca26 says:

        @Nevermindme I get what you are saying but in general AJ gets it much worse than RDJ I think she’s one of the most maligned celebs on the internet there is even a web forum devoted to trolling her and a lot of fanboys and kooks who think he’s posting as HMMM on CDAN worship RDJ. Partly it’s just sexism though women tend to get nastier criticism than men.

        @The Original Kitten of course you are right and I hope I don’t sound like I’m blaming RDJ.
        It’s really difficult to not sound that way but I do believe that what Indio went through as a kid watching RDJ have drug and legal problems and in and out of jail until he was 10 was a factor. I do believe RDJ is doing the most he can now and I don’t think he should be judged for his past because he did turn his life around when no one thought he could but it’s still really a tragic thing that the consequences of addiction can last a lot longer than the drug use.

      • Nevermindme says:

        @TOK I agree completely. When Ocicotin (sorry I’m spelling it wrong) became a popular drug of choice it was mostly used by middle class teens from good homes.

        @Luca that Hmmm thing was debunked awhile ago. R”s publicist issued a statement saying it wasn’t him. And yes you’re right, women gets it much worse than men. But if some people put R on a pedestal what’s wrong with that? We all have celebs we admire.

        But nevermind me, you know who I am. Yep I just created my own signature

      • Esmom says:

        TheOriginalKitten, I agree, to a certain extent. Good parenting definitely doesn’t guarantee a child won’t become an addict. But when your kid is 12, it’s still your job to be on top of where they are and what they’re doing, to know who their friends are and to help influence their choice of activities.

        As I said somewhere on this thread, I don’t have an illusions that my kids won’t try drugs. But 12 is extremely young to be unsupervised to the extent that that a drug habit develops.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @esmom-Yes I agree that supervision is essential but do you plan on going to school with your child? Because that’s where a lot of these drugs get passed around and sold.
        Honestly, the accessibility to drugs is the key factor here, particularly for heroin, which is a “better” and more economical high for kids versus say, marijuana (which is pricey ) or booze (which is FAR harder for kids to get).

        Have you heard of “cheese”? It’s a mixture of heroin and crushed Tylenol PM that kids as young as 11-14 are overdosing on. It’s trafficked across the Mexican border and sold to kids in middle school.

        http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2006/11/11year_old_hero/

        Sure, some of these parents are probably not doing their job to the best of their ability but what are the chances that EVERY kid they talk about in this article is the product of bad parenting?

        I think we need to accept that in today’s society, children grow up MUCH faster and get a lot of exposure through social media, TV, internet, etc to mind-altering substances. They read about making sizzurp or taking bath salts online or hear about a friend trying heroin and it peaks their curiosity. There’s just more exposure there, which means more risk.*

        *sorry, sometimes the insurance professional in me comes out ;)

      • Steph says:

        But then look at Frances Bean Cobain. If ever there was a kid with a bad genetic history, it was that girl. But she seems to have her head screwed on properly and so far has managed to make the right choices.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        You make a lot of good points, TOK, but DAMN are those points frightening! My heart goes out to parents…it seems like an incredibly hard job.

      • AryaMartell says:

        @Nevermindme I agree with you 100%

        I know it sounds strange and I do love RDJ and hate this type of unsubstantiated gossip but I 100% believe the rumours of RDJ being HIV positive. Don’t know why, I just feel like when he stopped something medically frightening had occurred that compelled him to stop, I am sure he stops now because he wants to but in the beginning it seemed like he didn’t want to but did for other reasons in mind. Other than a cousin of mine with addiction issues (who grew up in a pretty normal household with a great mom so no not every addict is a screwed up child), I know very little about addiction and treatment so he could have just been going through treatment and realizing how badly he f***ed up. But I don’t know, there’s something about this rumour that I think is true and he has enough money to make sure he can get the best care and be quiet about it. So while I believe it, I also know it isn’t my business and I’m still glad he’s stayed clean, gotten help and moved on.

        On the other notes I do agree about the sexism that makes it so AJ gets it worse for supposedly being a “homewrecker.” I also think AJ drives people nuts because she refuses to deign so much as an answer to the gossip -good on her. But pretty much RDJ was always destined to be given a 4th, 5th, and 6th chance if he could stay clean for any given amount of time. Is it because he was talented and well loved in Hollywood? Maybe. But I tend to think he was given the leading man stamp early on and that means more than leading lady.

      • Esmom says:

        TheOriginalKitten, I hear you. It’s definitely hugely prevalent the schools, and I’m glad the administrations in our middle and high school districts acknowledge it and continue to try to get a handle on it. My kids and other kids we know seem to generally know who the kids are with the drugs and generally steer clear of them (for now anyway). I was the same way in high school — I’d always heard they were “everywhere” in my school yet no one ever tried to push anything on me and I managed to make it through four years without anything drug related (alcohol was a completely different matter, just as potentially dangerous and devastating, yet somehow more acceptable). It’s party the company you keep, I think. And yet…you never know what can provoke someone to be drawn in. Sigh.

      • Chris says:

        You need to understand your child and be attentive. Not all kids are the same. Some require more support than others regardless of the family they come from. It doesn’t surprise me that some kids with drug problems come from middle-upper class families because their parents were probably too busy chasing a buck to adequately respond to their child’s needs.

        On the other hand I’m not anti drug, I don’t see drug use in and of it self as a problem. It’s a question of whether or not the drug use is causing harm. For people who can use and still meet their responsibilities then happy days. I remember when a guy I used to know was asked about his drug use and whether or not he was OK and he said “As far as it’s anyone else’s business I’m fine” Good answer. :)

      • Moore says:

        AryaMartell
        I don’t believe he is HIV positive because there is no good evidence that he is and if he did have HIV why would he have another child. Exton would have HIV too wouldn’t he have adopted.
        A great many people stop taking drugs without being HIV positive.

      • AryaMartell says:

        @Moore

        Back when HIV first came to the scene that would have been true. But there are so many medications that reduce the risk of passing the disease on to a sexual partner and in turn children. It’s not full proof but Exton could have easily been born without being HIV positive if Robert is on any of the known medicines that work towards reducing the likelihood of infection. I mean that doesn’t give an excuse for someone to be barebacking though as there are still some minimal risks of course. Plus if RDJ and his wife Susan went in-vitro then they could eliminate the risk altogether by testing his sperm. HIV at this time is in the same place as diabetes, follow your doctor’s orders, take your medicine as prescribed, take certain precautions when it comes to sex and you can live a happy normal life.
        That being said, I do not know if the HIV rumour is true or not, I do hope it isn’t for the sake of his family although I am sure he’s got it well managed if it is true and has kept successfully under wraps from the public. I do think it was a medical crisis that created a need for RDJ to stay clean, HIV, something temporary, I can’t say I don’t know. I don’t think it was just the he was sick and tired of being clean because that didn’t work in the past (but it could be true, who am I to say?). I just remember when Iron Man came out and he was asked a lot of questions, it seemed to me something really profound happened (other than going to jail, walking naked on Hollywood Blvd, and the other shenanigans he got in trouble over), maybe it was just an epiphany. Whatever it was, I’m just happy he is still clean after a 12 years and I hope he is able to stay that way.

      • Fan says:

        @ The Original Kitten, your first comment about people blaming the parenting and not understanding a teenager’s susceptibility to drug use is right on target. Teens who have the addiction gene WILL become addicted if they use. Then there are the kids who may not have the genetics, but they try heroin, meth, or they used to be able to crush OxyContin and snort it, and they become addicted almost immediately. I can’t tell you how many teens have said they were addicted after the first time they tried those drugs.

    • Talie says:

      That was my thought — this poor child lost his innocence way, way too young.

    • Cora says:

      Sadly, when I was in school, I had a 12 year-old friend who was using very hard drugs.

      Drew Barrymore says she started drinking at age 9 and by the time she was 12, she was using cocaine.

      • Chris says:

        And look how she turned out. :)

      • Esmom says:

        Ugh, I know it’s not unheard of. A client of mine told me that a classmate of her 7th grade daughter was in rehab. It just saddens me when kids’ childhoods are cut short, especially for a truly senseless reason like this.

        And at that young of an age I do blame the parents, they can and should make a difference in preserving their childhoods and steering them toward “good” choices.

        I don’t kid myself that my kids won’t ever try drugs but going there at the age of 12 is hard to fathom.

      • Erinn says:

        I live in a pretty small town in NS – we had a few people in my class who were definitely doing drugs before jr high. Not just one guy either – a group of them. This wasn’t a city environment either. We’re three hours away from the ‘city’ and have roughly 7k people living in the area.

      • kri says:

        This is so terrifying-I can’t imagine how RDJ feels. Look at Michael Douglas’s kid. Terrible situation, and no matter what those around you do, if you aren’t in it 100% you aren’t going to get clean. Prayers for this family and all families who are dealing with this.

      • mayamae says:

        Drew Barrymore used to really break my heart. I can’t imagine a scenario that didn’t include drug abuse. She was basically abandoned by her father, and had a mother who was a wanna be actress and who lived through Drew’s career, while also failing to supervise her. There’s an awful picture of Drew, in which she can’t be much older than 9-10, where she seems to be passed out at a table at an industry party – sitting alone.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        Erinn, you make a really great point that this isn’t just a “city” problem. I am from a very small town, and there were ALWAYS drugs available. Not just pot, but coke and lots and lots of meth (mushrooms and LSD as well). In college I met my boyfriend, and he was from an even smaller town in a different state, and he grew up with the same thing in his town.

    • Ginger says:

      I thought the same thing! My son is also 12. Holy crap! His idea of “partying” is drinking an occasional coffee with Mom or playing the M for Mature video game that I allowed his god mother to buy for him. I’ve made sure to discuss all of the important lectures with him hopefully way before temptation every comes his way. This is a big worry of mine as his parent. I’m always floored when I hear of young kids drinking, etc. at this age. I feel for RDJ having to go through this. It’s got to be so hard knowing that you are a loving and supportive parent and that nothing that you are doing to help your child is working.

    • Emma - the JP Lover says:

      @Esmon, who wrote: “If he’s been using for 8 years, that means he started when he was 12? That’s mind boggling. My 12 year old’s idea of partying is playing nerf guns with his friends and drinking Coke vs. his usual water or milk. To him the hard stuff is Mountain Dew.”

      It’s possible Indio caught his Dad’s ‘drug’ act when he was a small child just like Robert Downey, Jr first caught ‘his’ Dad’s drug act when ‘he’ was 6-years-old (his Dad let him try marajuna at that age). Robert Downely, Jr. was last arrested for hard drug use in 2001 (I think), so it’s possilbe ‘parental usage’ influenced Indio’s habit. But it was most likely peer pressure.

      I’d bet anything that your 12-years ‘knows’ or ‘knows’ about other 12-year-olds who do mild and hard drugs. No matter where you live, there’s just no getting around it.

      • Esmom says:

        Oh yeah, my son knows who those kids are and and I posted above that for now he steers clear of that crowd. At his age, it’s easy to be busy with activities — he does sports and music and volunteers and the library and umps for the baseball league. It seems the kids with more free time are more likely to get into drugs, maybe out of boredom.

        I have no illusions that he’ll be tempted at some point — at times I can definitely see shades of a disaffected teen in his attitude. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he continues to steer clear and that when he eventually experiments that he won’t become addicted (we have genetic predispositions in our family).

    • Size Does Matter says:

      My brother started with marijuana at 12. Granted, this was back in 1977, so times have changed. My son is 11 now. I’d rather be accused of being a helicopter parent than my kid be using drugs and me not know about it.

  2. Eleonoy says:

    He is only 20 and has been using for eight years???
    I hope he really puts his things together, but as far as I know it’s the addict who must really want to get clean.

    • T.C. says:

      That was the most shocking part to me too. Then I remember Drew Barrymore also doing hard drugs like Coke at age 12/13. You can start as young as you want if you have the money and acess to drugs which a lot of rich kids have. Like I said when this story first broke RDJ can send his kid to rehab but can’t force him to change unless the son is really ready to be sober. Many people are successful in AA even if they don’t believe in God.

      • Melanie says:

        Exactly TC. I know several atheists and agnostics that are in AA. It works for many people and a belief in God isn’t a prerequisite. I hope he finds a Recovery program that speaks to him.

  3. Lizzie says:

    You can’t force someone to get sober. I mean I stood in front of my Dad when I was 21 and asked him to stop drinking (he’s a viciously violent alcoholic and has been for my entire life and about 10 years before I was born) and he point blank said to me that he loves drinking and that he loves it more than anything in the world.

    So RDJ knows that you can’t help an addict that doesn’t want to help himself, but he probably feels you have to give it at least a try. It’s his son. Rational may go out the window a bit. But at the end of the day, Indio has no reason to get clean in his mind. He’s not in college, doesn’t need to get a job and will never have to worry about money. It’s a horrible situation, but until something bad happens and Indio hits bottom there’s not a whole lot that can be done. It has to come from him. I feel bad for the kid. Addiction is a sick sick disease.

    • Chris says:

      Your story reminds me of a neighbor of mine. The guy is an alcoholic and also has cancer and he told me that he didn’t want to die because then he wouldn’t be able to drink. He was serious.

      • mayamae says:

        How sad. I assume he’s drinking through treatment? Kind of like lung cancer patients smoking through their trach stomas. One would think that death is something to be welcomed. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not, death is an ending of suffering on this earth.

    • Mmhmm says:

      I agree, but sometimes the forcing will cause the person to open his eyes…I’d rather try and force than not do anything, but I see your point.
      As a side note, I’m not entirely comfortable with a son of a celeb getting this much attention over drug use. I just don’t see how it could be helping the son at all, especially if he isn’t used to everyone talking about him. Yes, his choices have consequences, but I’m just not wild about all the gossip and guessing.

    • Zwella Ingrid says:

      Tough love would have been to leave him in jail. At this point, rehab is pointless. Rehab will never take until the addict wants help. Clearly Indio isn’t there yet.

      • Chris says:

        @Mayame: Yeah, he is. I saw him the other day for the first time in awhile and he was on one of those motorized wheelchairs. So obviously his health has deteriorated. I assumed he was on his way to the licensed grocer. I don’t think he’ll be around for much longer.

  4. Frida_K says:

    I read a book about this facility–they have a short book out that was part of a swag bag at a TCM conference I attended.

    The list of attendants Indio will have may include but would not be limited to: individual and group therapist; yoga therapist; acupuncturist; massage therapist; equine therapist; personal chef….I’m forgetting some. The list was endless.

    This facility’s theory is that each and every precious snowflake who goes there needs to have every single need met immediately, and that luxury and personalized everything is their only hope. The book was short or I wouldn’t have finished it, but by about the end of the first chapter I was already shocked and somewhat appalled by their smugness. They really feel good about themselves and sincerely do believe in the luxury route to rehab.

    So Indio gets a cushy retreat for a month or so and then can check off the box saying that he’s been to rehab…?

    I hope it works for him and that he gets sober.

    • Snazzy says:

      OMG I know this is totally inappropriate but I’d go there on vacation !! Sounds wonderful!
      That being said, I do hope it works and I wish him well

  5. Word Girl says:

    I honestly can’t see why RDJ thinks that he’s not at fault in any way for his son’s drug abuse. He left his child’s mother to do all the rearing while he buzzed out on regular basis. That shows that RDJ doesn’t want to take personal responsibilities of his son’s effect in the “observational learning and the social learning theory”. RDJ should take a look at Bandura’s BoBo doll experiment. Kids do what they see their parent’s do. Plain and simple. With that being said, I do hope RDJ and Indio’s mother are able to collectively decide what is best for their son.

    • Esmom says:

      I was also struck by the comment that he doesn’t feel guilty, who knows what’s really true. But if it is true, I can’t imagine. I know I would be riddled with guilt and totally frantic if I knew my son was following in my own destructive path.

      • Word Girl says:

        @ Esom,
        When the article gets to the “he doesn’t feel guilty” part in the dialogue, the interpretation of it becomes a bit confusing for the reader. Regarding my above statement, If RDJ does feel that he is not at fault in any way for his son’s drug abuse, then he would be wrong. I’ve seen parents that were a bit delusional, when considering their role, in why their kids made faulty choices. Overall, I do hope that RDJ understands the role he’d played in his son’s abuse and helps his son become a better person.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I thought it meant he didn’t feel guilty for forcing him into rehab and for being glad his son was arrested because he thinks that’s what will help him?

      • Nevermindme says:

        I think you’re right @Goodnames. He’s saying he doesn’t feel guilty about the actions being taken against his son. Some parents like Lohans parents would have found fault with the police and not their child.

      • grabbyhands says:

        I would agree with you. He seems way too self aware to just blame it on genes. I have a feeling he is carrying the full weight of why his kid is in this situation and knows it is better to figure out a way to help him rather than wasting time on a lot of histrionics.

      • Esmom says:

        Ah, right, reading too fast as usual…thanks.

  6. Kath says:

    God, to watch your kid go through this after finally coming out the other side yourself must be brutal.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I was thinking that, too. Agonizing. I’m surprised by the harsh, judgmental tone of a lot of these posts.

    • grabbyhands says:

      That’s was what I was thinking too-he is literally watching the worst part of his history repeat itself.

  7. booboobird says:

    Apple and horse..i mean tree…and all that.
    but then again it’s probably hard for a kid who grew up not wanting and needing anything cuz everything was served on a golden platter and fed with a platinum spoon.
    the only thing in short supply probably was parental attention and affection

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Yeah, because poor people never get addicted to drugs? Why do people always demonize success? Money does not equal bad parenting. Poverty does not equal good parenting.

      • booboobird says:

        GoodNames, addiction has nothing to do with money. the difference is probably in the quality of stuff you smoke/snort/shoot/eat.
        and I did not say that RDJ is a bad parent. some people think that, if every material need/want is met, the kid has all he needs. how about just spending time together? how about just being there for the child?

      • Esmom says:

        Right on. I said this in another post recently about someone else who said they had no sympathy for some other celeb who was struggling with addiction/mental illness because he/she was rich (maybe Shia?), if I remember correctly. As if money/celebrity somehow makes them immune to the struggles/challenges of everyone else.

      • booboobird says:

        just to clarify, when I said it’s hard for a kid who has all his needs/wants met, I didn’t mean it in a snarky way. I truly think it’s hard because you have every possible thing you could ever want (except parents because they are probably busy making money or trying to make ends meet or something else) and then you start exploring and doing stuff out of boredom.
        my dad was always busy making his $$$$, he could give us a lot, but in the end I never saw him and don’t have a lot of childhood memories with him. And I don’t feel very close to him to actually go and just be together comfortably.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Sorry, boo. I misunderstood what you were saying. I hope you can build on your relationship with your Dad.

      • mayamae says:

        @booboobird, I understand your point. Past generations have raised their children with the hope and expectation that their children will surpass the success of their parents. I’ve never thought being a trust fund baby was a good thing. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to be disciplined enough to work when working is unnecessary, and your parents (possibly) haven’t taught you to be self-disciplined.

        No matter how hard Indio works, it’s extremely unlikely he will ever reach his father’s fame, wealth, success. A good alternative would have been to pursue college, and I’m surprised how frequently the rich and famous allow their children to drop out of highschool. All three of the Osbourne children are drop outs.

      • booboobird says:

        Thank you, GoodNames. It’s not easy since my family lives in Europe and I pretty much swam across the ocean and started my own family without any extended relations or friends. It’s always easier to love everybody from a distance :)

  8. Freebunny says:

    Okay, I don’t want to sound like an horrible b*tch here, but I think it must be hard to be RDJ’s son. RDJ just looks like he has the biggest ego on earth and it could be hard to be his son. But I don’t say it’s RDJ’s fault.

  9. grabbyhands says:

    That kid has an uphill battle ahead of him. When you’re 20 you feel indestructible and in a way, RDJ’s own success battling his addiction problems is probably working against him right now since Indio is likely looking at him and saying-you partied and look how well you turned out-you’re one of the biggest stars in one of the biggest franchises on the planet. It is a lot easier to tune the horror stories when you are young and haven’t really seen any hard consequences of your own actions. No one ever believes they’re going to make the same mistakes, not even kids of addicts.

    I am dubious of the efficacy of a place like Cliffside, but then again I don’t think India is going in as much of a narcissistic, entitled moron as Lohan. Plus, his dad is actually cares about helping him get better.

    • mayamae says:

      I think it’s also possible that, when your closest family members have struggled with addiction, you can feel almost fatalistic about it. If he feels his destiny is to be addicted, it would make it that much easier to justify his drug use.

  10. Doganr says:

    Well obviously his son was influenced by his fathers own drug use. Such a tragedy. It is kind of difficult for his father to say do as I say not as I do.

  11. Liz says:

    Addiction to drugs as a disease doesn’t sound right. Indio does drugs because he can. He doesn’t have to worry about getting and maintaining a job to pay the bills. While he may be in a band (??) that line of work is not the best for a kid who likes to get high.

  12. Jackson says:

    So if RDJ and family have practiced ‘tough love’ with him, why does this article say he’s never going to find himself “homeless, penniless, and on the streets?” Why not take everything, and I do mean everything, away from this young man? No trust fund or bank account, no place to stay, no cars. Nothing. Sure, I bet he’s got some rich friends to hang and get high with, but eventually that gets old. May take quite awhile, but when nothing else has worked, what else is there to try?

    Good luck to all of them though, and to everyone with addictions.

    • Word Girl says:

      @ Jackson,
      I believe that every parent’s definition of “tough love” is variant. Some parents’ practice a more “hardcore” version of “tough love” than another. Either way, I hope RDJ and his ex’s version of “tough love” is efficacious.

  13. Bex says:

    All I have to say is ‘it’s’ ……..not wanting to be grammar police but really? I think the DM used to have standards at some point.

  14. InvaderTak says:

    That “article ” sounds like an ad for cliffside. And the family friend sounds like they need to shut it.

  15. Kiddo says:

    Tough love doesn’t always work either. I’m sure RDJ is carrying a lot of guilt for his own past.

  16. Jennifer says:

    I truly wish him and his family all the best.

  17. aquarius64 says:

    At 20 Indio is legally an adult so I can’t see how RDJ can force his son into rehab unless he went through the courts. Cliffside sounds like another five-star resort that celebs and their families go for PR and/or court purposes. If this has been going on for 8 years I hope Indio gets some solid help for his recovery.

    • sonalaceae (Nighty) says:

      Well, considering he’s a drug addict, his father may state the kid doesn’t know what’s best for him, and get an order to be responsible and take all decisions on his behalf, like when you do to someone who’s mentally unfit…

      • mayamae says:

        Or just cut off the trust fund or allowance.

      • sonalaceae (Nighty) says:

        yeah, but cutting the trust fund is one thing, making an adult person go to rehab is something else… for the latest you need a court order to state the kid’s unfit, mentally speaking (since he’s a drug addict..) and cutting the trust fund is not a solution… addicts do everything to get drugs, including prostituting themselves…

      • mayamae says:

        I meant that if this kid is jobless (I have no idea) and/or dependent on his father financially (again no idea), it’s possible that Robert can give him an ultimatum to voluntarily commit himself, or lose the allowance.

      • sonalaceae (Nighty) says:

        From what is said, he has already thrown the kid out of the house once… When you throw a kid out of the house, you also stop giving them money automatically (at least it’s what makes sense…)

  18. Tippy says:

    He should have let the lad sit in a cell overnight and then be brought before a judge Monday morning, wearing shackles.

    With everyone now watching, no judge is going to be lenient with Indio for fear that he’ll eventually OD or commit more serious crimes to support his habit, and they’ll be blamed for not doing enough.

  19. elo says:

    I’m not really buying some of this article. I don’t believe RDJ doesn’t feel some guilt, and with his experience, I don’t buy that he is forcing him into rehab, especially as a plea bargaining tool. As a former addict himself, he knows this won’t be successful. Maybe Indio really does want to go, and maybe since they know it will likely be a condition of the court anyway, they are choosing to go ahead and get it started ahead of time as usually advised by lawyers, instead of giving him the time before his court date to screw up again.

  20. sonalaceae (Nighty) says:

    It’s a very hard, hard road … Oh, if the kid doesn’t want to go to rehab, probably it won’t work (hope I’m wrong). I wouldn’t want to be on their shoes. tt’s so hard for parents to see one’s child going down this path. It’s easy to comment from the outside. It’s easy to blame everyone, his parents past, but who are we to judge?
    Wish them the best luck in the world..

  21. Cheryl says:

    The tough love “principal”? Does this person work at a high school?
    Was surprised to read that in a published piece.

  22. AK says:

    My family immigrated to the states when I was about 9 years old. We had many family friends who did so as well, and their children were my friends/acquaintances. By the time I was 13, I’d say about half of these kids were using something, and maybe half of those were into really hard stuff. Of-course, this was most likely due to pressures of immigration, but the point is it’s not ‘unheard of’ to me that a pre-teen can be into hard drugs. I’ve seen it often enough. Most of them got cleaned up, but usually after a really rough period in the late teens / early 20s, exactly Indio’s age. So, I think there is a lot of hope for him, especially as RDJ seems like he would be a good father now, if not always in the past. That said, one of my friends ODd in high school on heroin, so you never know. But, I think (hope?) Indio will be OK, this doesn’t have to define him.

  23. AryaMartell says:

    I think RDJ is trying to find balance here. He has to reconcile his own past looking at his son and he has to help his son and make sure this doesn’t turn into a PR nightmare and I’m sure he doesn’t want his son ending up dead either especially when I’m sure there is a degree of guilt he feels in all of this. I don’t think it’s a question that RDJ realizes the role he played in all of this and feels guilt.

  24. hmmm says:

    Luxury rehab- yeah, that’s really gonna help. Why didn’t RDJ refuse to bail him out?

  25. chris says:

    i’ve seen heroine addicted homeless people walk into AA and recover just as i’ve seen celebrities with 25 years of sobriety under their belt. programs only work if you work them and you only get recovery when you’re ready for it. he will only stay if he wants to stop. plain and simple. you could spend thousands on the “best” treatment centers on the planet or go to a free sober living/detox center…it depends on you. and the reliance on a non-religious higher power is important because it helps you realize that you aren’t alone and you don’t have to do it alone. i hope indio finds recovery and i hope RDJr goes to an al-anon meeting to get some perspective.

    • Melanie says:

      Bravo Chris, I agree 100% with everything you said. Al-Anon is so helpful for families of addicts/alcoholics.

  26. aquarius64 says:

    Comic Con is this month and all the Avengers are expected to show up. I hope Marvel lets RDJ sits that out. Somebody in the audience is going to be insensitive enough to bring Indio up during the Q & A. No need to expose him to that.

    • sonalaceae (Nighty) says:

      I agree with that.. some people don’t think before opening their mouths.. though RDJ is the King of Sassy, so probably the person would get such an answer that would bring him/her to the knees crying…

      • aquarius64 says:

        The problem is, Marvel Studios would be none too please. It wants all the focus on the movie Age of Ultron and future projects. If someone brings up Indio and RDJ pops off, the headlines would be over that dust-up, not Marvel’s roll-out of upcoming movies. Marvel doesn’t like scandal or controversy overshadowing its promotional pushes.

      • sonalaceae (Nighty) says:

        One more reason for him not to go and stay with his kid …

  27. Emily C. says:

    Forcing people into rehab doesn’t usually work. However, I’m not too worried, because this is the Daily Fail. So I think they likely made it up.

  28. peachcobblerby says:

    I’ve never been on the rdj bandwagon neither I have ever been on the bandwagon that when you’ve had a incredibly privileged life you destroy it by the abuse of narcotics. I have zero sympathy for those people. When you have everthing at your fingertips and you screw it away I abhor those people. Ive seen people with nothing and worked ceaselessly for just simple things, I’m in awe of those people. When I see rich people squander their lives I only have contempt.

  29. moo says:

    you can’t force another human to do anything they aren’t willing to do themselves. he’s wasting his time and should know that based on his own personal experiences.

  30. aemish says:

    Put that kid in some movies, he’s adorable! Maybe if he had something positive to fill his time with he’d see a reason to ditch the negative garbage