Anna Paquin: ‘people think monogamy and bisexuality are mutually exclusive’

HBO's 'True Blood' Season 7 Premiere
The more Anna Paquin talks, the more I respect her. (Although unlike Bedhead I’m not a fan of her new multicolored hair.) She’s been open and honest for years about the fact that she’s bisexual, and about the fact that she’s happily married to a man. Anna was a guest on Huffpo live, where she was asked about her recent tweet declaring that she’s “proud to be a happily married bisexual mother.” She got a little nervous and stammered at first, but she recovered quickly and explained herself very well. You can watch the video of the interview here and here’s some of what she said:

On why she tweeted about it
It was Pride Month… It’s something I feel very strongly about and it’s as good as I can do within the Twitter [character limit].

On the stigma bisexual people face
There’s people that are going to go to their grave thinking what they think about the LGBT community. That’s their problem not mine. And there’s people that think that monogamy and bisexuality are mutually exclusive. Again, their problem not mine. The reason I feel like it’s important to talk about this stuff is that the more normal and, frankly, mundane and boring this stuff becomes the better it’s going to be for everybody who is part of our community.

On if negative reactions surprised her
There’s a lot of hateful people out in the world who have very strong opinions. You know when you stick your neck out on certain topics that some people are going to go ‘yay’ and some people are going to say some of the most vile things… nothing surprised me.

[From video on Huffington Post]

That was very well said and I agree with her. It’s ridiculous to me that people think that bisexuality has anything to do with promiscuity, or that they assume that bisexual people cannot be monogamous. Those two things have nothing to do with one another. Sexual orientation falls on a spectrum, and people who are in the middle have been ostracized and misunderstood for too long. Anna is sticking her neck out as she mentioned and good for her.

Mild spoilers for last night’s True Blood follow
Let’s switch gears so we can talk about True Blood. We’re halfway through the final season and last night’s episode was somewhat of a departure from the scary, dangerous Bon Temps we’re used to. (Yes there was a bloodbath at the end, but it was a bunch of random people we’re not attached to.) The majority of the episode took place at a party at Sookie’s house, which also served as a memorial service for Alcide and Tara. The show skipped around much less than we’re used to, and had a different, more relaxed feel. We got to learn more about Bill’s backstory as an objector to the Civil War. Lafayette and James hooked up, leading a jilted Jessica and Jason to hook up. There were also some excellent one-liners as we’ve come to expect. (“I look like a Republi-c*nt”). It turns out that the episode was penned by a new writer, Craig Chester, who hasn’t been credited with a True Blood episode until now. I really enjoyed this change of pace. E! Online has a more detailed recap if you’re interested, including more spoilers.

TRUE COLORS! Anna Paquin shows off her newly dyed purple and blue hair as she arrives at her hotel in NYC

HBO's 'True Blood' Season 7 Premiere

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News, FameFlynet and Getty Images

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42 Responses to “Anna Paquin: ‘people think monogamy and bisexuality are mutually exclusive’”

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  1. Sixer says:

    I agree with her about everything, particularly “the more normal and, frankly, mundane and boring this stuff becomes the better it’s going to be”.

    And I really love it that she says her stuff, and not only doesn’t fall in a heap of celebrity woe-is-me when she gets some blowback, but actually understands she’s going to get blowback in the first place. And says her stuff anyway.

    • Erinn says:

      She seems super self-aware, and I really really like her.

      • CTgirl says:

        Agreed. She is quite likable because she accepts and seems to embrace that she’s not perfect, hasn’t bowed to the pressure in Hollywood to look a certain way and makes heartfelt and articulate statements on important topics that are based on intelligence rather than the way the wind is blowing that day.

    • NYer says:

      Well, I’m bored with celebrities talking about their sex lives, so maybe she has a point.

      • wolfpup says:

        Me too. I wish they would just go have sex somewhere, with anyone (I don’t care), and keep it private, because it is.

        I’m just not interested. Everybody has sex. Are we all sharing now?

      • ViktoryGin says:

        Ditto. I understand that she has a vested ideological interest in disabusing people, but I’m so sick of people discussing their sex lives. I just want to chuck Foucault’s History of Sexuality at them and tell them to have a seat. And this goes for ALL orientations.

      • Lee says:

        But talking about orientation and identity is not the same thing as talking about your sex life.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        Good point, Lee.

      • NYer says:

        Lee, I’m bored with that, too.

      • Lee says:

        Lucky for you then I guess NYer.

        For me, every time a celebrity talks about those things it makes me feel one step closer to being understood and respected as a whole person by friends, family, neighbours and colleagues.

  2. Eleonor says:

    I like what she says. I don’t know why people think bisexual men and women do not exist.
    And I’ve got an idea for a TB spinoff, after seeing Eric glorious 90’s hair; I know what i need : the adventures of Pam and Eric. I want to see 70’s Eric.

  3. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    I like her.

    • FLORC says:

      Me too. She’s not a celeb you hear making rude comments, acting poorly, or just being unaware of how they come off to others.

    • Camille (The Original) says:

      Me too :). I think growing up a Kiwi has helped keep her more grounded.

  4. daisyfly says:

    I’m bisexual and have been in a monogamous relationship for over twenty years. Most bisexuals I know are monogamous, whether it’s with heterosexual or homosexual partners. The idea that we’re promiscuous simply because we’re attracted to both sexes is ridiculous.

    • Ag says:

      i never understood that, the bisexual = promiscuous thing. i’ve seen many people comment here on CB with slight spins on the “how will she ever be satisfied with only a man?” ridiculousness. as if straight people (and gay people? unclear on that) had the market cornered on monogamy and $hit never went wrong in heterosexual relationships.

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      I guess people think that you’re only attracted to body parts and therefore something is always missing. Which is incredibly stupid. I usually just ask them if they like big boobs/nice arms/a full head of hair etc. and when they say yes, ask them why they are not cheating on their significant other because clearly, honey is going bald/is barely an A-cup and so on. Shuts them up every time. These conversations are tiring though.

    • Stephanie says:

      I like it because she could hide in heterosexual relationship. I do I suppose. Reading her statement makes me think I should do more.

  5. Nya says:

    She seems much more relaxed and happy in interviews these days. She always came off a cold and almost mean in earlier ones a few years ago.

    That said, her and Bill/Stephen are the worst part of the show and it’s a shame Bill and Sookie are obviously going to end up together. Who the hell cares about Bill in the Civil War? Gag. At least Eric and Pam are still around to keep things fun.

  6. GiGi says:

    She’s one that I like much more in real life than on screen (she’s my reverse Justin Thoroux).

    ALSO – I loved last nights episode – so satisfying. Except that we’re supposed to still be buying this “Sookie & Alcide TLA” storyline… so meh. But I love Jason & Jesssica together. And Lafayette & James & how that all played out was crazy!

  7. Miffy says:

    I like her, she’s level-headed and articulate.

    I think (IMHO) where the stigma comes from is once someone who is bisexual ‘settles down’ into a monogamous relationship be it hetero or homosexual, there’s the archaic societal implication that they can switch off the other side of their sexuality because the fact that they can continue to be attracted to either sex implies that they can actively continue to be attracted to someone else after entering a monogamous relationship… Which, as we all know, is completely and utterly impossible, unless you’re a horrible person, because you can only have eyes for your significant other forever and ever til you both die (yes, that last part is sarcasm).

  8. Lucy2 says:

    When she came out as bisexual, I was surprised by so many comments like “I guess her husband is okay with her fooling around with women”. I’m glad she’s speaking out and helping to educate through her own experience.
    As for the show I think it’s gotten better as the season has gone on, but I can’t believe are wasting time with all of these Bill flashbacks.

    • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

      I think every season has gotten progressively worse. After seeing how thoughtful Allan Ball was about the way he ended Six Feet Under, I can’t believe he’s being so sloppy with the character arches.

  9. Aussie girl says:

    I’ve always liked her and feel like I have grown up watching her grow & her career ( she is New Zealand, our neighbours so to speak).I admire the way she is honest regarding her sexually, oh and her twins are cute to boot. Buuuuut, yes there is a but. I’m really not digging or understanding the hair change. Not that it’s any business what a women does with her own hair. To me it just doesn’t suit her.

  10. Lindy says:

    She seems very articulate and smart and self-aware. I like her more and more every time she gives an interview. Also, I really love her multi-colored hair! I would love to do that myself, honestly. But it wouldn’t fly with my job, alas.

  11. Marianne says:

    I remember when she first tweeted about being a happy bisexual mother and I bet you can imagine just some of the comments that people left on various sites. Things like “she can’t be bisexual anymore, she married a man”. Its like this is exactly why she has to talk about it because there are so many ignorant people out there.

  12. FingerBinger says:

    Anna’s bisexuality is her business. As for True Blood,I’m not really sure what’s going on. The stuff with the Yakuza is confusing. Is that in the books? I hate what they’re doing with Lafayette. This was the first episode that I really didn’t like him. Oh well.

  13. Sarah says:

    I don’t think the bisexual community’s main problem is that people think they aren’t capable of monogamy. It’s that peope think they are lying about being bisexual! Even many gay people think they are fooling themselves. Bisexual men get the most criticism. Even if people are open, many people will never consider dating a bisexual person because they assume that person is in a transition period.

    • Santolina says:

      ^^^ This. Many gays think bisexuality is some kind of cop-out or transitional mode, but it’s its own sexuality. Celebitchy nails it, ” Sexual orientation falls on a spectrum [Kinsey scale], and people who are in the middle have been ostracized and misunderstood for too long.”

    • FLORC says:

      You hit a side of this not many hear about. People lying about being bisexual. Either to protect themselves from ridicule or to promote themselves in a way.
      But I had a bad relationship with a girl in college so I have a bias that some play into the role even if they’re fully hetero. Sometimes girls (and guys) pretend to be bi/gay for a status.

  14. Ginger says:

    As a bisexual woman in a monogamous relationship with my husband I can tell you she is correct on all counts. Even my husband misunderstood me when we were first together. I take my commitment very seriously and find it disappointing when people assume I would be unhappy in my marriage simply because I’m not with a woman or that I will cheat on him. It’s insulting.

    • mkyarwood says:

      Co sign. I have been in long term relationships with both sexes and when I married my husband, friends actually brought up my sexuality as ‘that phase’. Sure. That phase which lasted the previous 15 years to my getting married, why not.

  15. Dizzybenny says:

    ”There’s a lot of hateful people out in the world who have very strong opinions”
    What’s wrong with having a different opinion?
    Why do we all have to have the same opinion?
    Why do we need to see the world all in the same way?
    Yes, they are hateful people out there that want to hurt gays physically, I get that, but I’d say most of us don’t give a hoot about the lifestyle of people.
    If I see 2 guys kissing and find it gross, I don’t see how it makes me a homophobe.
    I’m straight, but again just because there kissing, it doesn’t make me mad, I don’t think they should die or anything like that.
    My thought will be more the same has a straight couple, ”Get a room”!!!
    I hope that the trend of everyone must think the same will end soon, because it’s getting ridiculous!!

    • kri says:

      @Dizzy Well, that’s the thing. We don’t “all to need to have the same opinion” by any means. But she was asked the question, and answered honestly. And she has a point. The more people realize the variations of sexuality, the less…”Shocking” it gets. You don’t have to approve of or agree with her. But in this day and age, we are able to talk more honestly about subjects like this, and that’s a damn good thing.

    • supposedtobeworking says:

      I think it is the hatefulness in some people’s statement of their opinion that makes it different than having a ‘different opinion’.
      It is perfectly acceptable and encouraged to have opinions. I do not think she is speaking to that at all; she is cognizant that some people will make hateful comments.

    • FLORC says:

      Yes. Hateful meaning to cause some kind of intended harm in statements or actions, but we should all have different opinions. The day we all accept the same things and feel the same about everything, doesn’t sound so great. We’d cease to develope.

      I’ve felt the same. Cute kissing is fine, but that’s my limit. I’ve seen people confront others for their PDA in tight public places (theatre lines, restaurants, elevators). The minute I start to hear vocal kissing and heavier breathing is the minute i’m uncomfortable. No matter what orientation of couple i’m standing next to.
      I’ve encountered more hetero couples stopping once confronted and more same sex couples continuing to kiss to send a message of pride.

      • Dizzybenny says:

        Well thanks everyone, I appreciate all your comments.
        I wasn’t putting down her comments at all!
        I guess I’m just there already, I hear another celebrity coming out and I’m like really? We still need to make a big spectacle?
        I think I’m more shock to see a celebrity joining Scientology then coming out as gay. lol

  16. eliza says:

    As far as True Blood, thank God this season is it’s last. The show was so stupid last night I was angry at myself for watching it. The only good thing over the last few episodes was the death of Alcide, which I wish would have happened several seasons ago.

    • FLORC says:

      I only continued to watch it last 2 seasons because I had DVR FastForward abilities.
      Although, Eric and Jason together was unquestionably hot! It was a scene to thank the fans for continuing to watch a show on the downward spiral.