Normally I would not put “reportedly” in the title of a story that comes from People Magazine, because they tend to only run stories with solid information and you can pretty much report it like it’s true. In this case I just don’t want to believe it. It was easy enough to ignore all the tabloids that claimed Rihanna still loved Chris, because even if that was accurate it didn’t mean she was back with him. People claims that they’re together, though, and are currently holed up in Miami in a home owned by Diddy:
The pair have reunited almost three weeks after Brown, 19, allegedly battered the “Umbrella” singer on Feb. 8, a source tells PEOPLE.
“They’re together again. They care for each other,” says the source. The on-again couple are currently spending time together at one of Sean “Diddy” Combs’s homes, on Miami Beach’s Star Island.
Adds the source: “While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves.”
In its latest issue, PEOPLE reports that Brown called Rihanna on her 21st birthday one week ago. “He called to wish her happy birthday,” a source told the magazine. “They’ve reached out to each other. It’s been mutual.”
Brown was booked by LAPD for making criminal threats but the case has not yet been presented to the District Attorney, who will ultimately determine which charges, if any, will be prosecuted.
Rihanna went to Barbados right after the attack on February 8 to “recuperate and spend time with her girlfriends,” according to People’s last cover story. She returned to LA for a little and was last spotted in Mexico on the beach. It seemed like she wanted some time away to reflect on things and gain the courage to stand alone, but unfortunately that didn’t last long. Those reports that Chris was in contact with her must have been true and she was ultimately swayed by his efforts.
Rihanna should have obtained a restraining order against Chris Brown, she shouldn’t have taken a vacation with him. It doesn’t matter how formerly successful and well know the guy is, he hit her. He didn’t just smack her, either, which in itself would have been unforgivable, he battered her so severely that she was left unconscious with two black eyes, contusions on both sides of her forehead, bites on her arms, a split lip and what appeared to be an earring ripped out. When the police came to the scene, he fled, leaving her there passed out. There is no excuse for his behavior. There is also no other scenario that would explain her very severe injuries and it’s never been suggested that anyone other than Chris attacked her.
There are reports that claim that Brown is going to plead “self defense” against Rihanna if the case ever comes to that. It’s still in the investigation stage and it’s unknown if the DA will press charges. There is nothing short of her holding a gun to his head that could even begin to justify that type of attack. If a stranger inflicted that kind of damage on her, he would have been dealt with swiftly and she would want to ensure that the man was behind bars. Instead she’s ignoring the very real and possibly life-threatening injuries she received because she “loves” the guy and has a history with him. That’s the type of emotional equation that can only end badly for her. This is not the first time Chris is said to have abused her.
Here is more information about how abusers control their victims through a cycle of abuse that slowly breaks them down and leaves them feeling helpless. It looks like Chris and Rihanna are in the “honeymoon” phase.
Rihanna has shown that even the most successful, famous and outwardly strong women can be subject to this kind of horrific, manipulative abuse. At the very least, her pain and heartbreak have brought this very serious issue to greater public awareness. Hopefully women in similar situations can recognize Rihanna’s mistake by returning to her abuser. Hopefully Rihanna will realize her mistake before it’s too late. Let’s not turn this into some lover’s spat because they’re famous and she seems to have “forgiven” him. The guy could easily have killed her.
Rihanna and Chris Brown are shown in Paris on 12/19/08. Credit: ANG/Fame Pictures
can you say Tina Turner?
She’s an idiot.
Tina Turner, please give Rihanna a call!
I really hope for her sake it’s not true, but sadly she is young and in love. It makes me sad, why women do this to themselves, because now she is condoning his actions and the next time people will say I told you so. She needs psychiatric help, not idiots like Diddy fostering this abusive relationship.
I really hope this isn’t true!!
In which case she deserves no sympathy or support. I’m so bored of this ‘slow burn’ victim shit. She’s weak.
Gag. I just wonder if her “strength” would return if her career were to stall over this situation. She’s not exactly presenting a desirable image by choosing to go back to an abuser, and Lord knows his career took a hit. Tina Turner’s abuse was not known to the public until after she and Ike split up. Rather, after Ike left her penniless on a street corner and she rebounded on her own to become the one and only Tina Turner. Maybe it’ll take Rihanna being turned inside out before she gets it.
They have “history”? How old are these two? 19 and 20?
Cut your losses and get out!
None of us can control what Rihanna decides to do so I say move on and let them work out the problems. I hope both of them seek the professional help they need!
Oh dear, why am I not surprised?
I’ll never understand the psychology of women who return to their abusers. Ever.
Some people have a ridiculous need to learn everything the hard way. I wonder how much pain and embarrassment he needs to cause her before she gets it. Disgusting.
The picture says it all: he is hiding behind her.
I agree: Tina Turner needs to have a serious sit-down with this young lady.
No woman has to put up with abuse but the abuser will make her feel that she can’t live without him. Sickening.
Amen, sister! Well put. As someone who’s been there (many years ago), this has pained me. What a horrible example she’s setting, too.
Unbelievable !! She should be ashamed of herself. We all felt so sorry for her, and now she is going back to a monster?? SHAMEFUL and disgusting. Nobody is going to help you going forward. HE BEAT THE SH*T OUT OF YOU!! Do you think he loves you??? How stupid can you be. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID !!!
What none of you seem to understand is that a woman in an abusive relationship comes to it with emotional problems. She is usually emotionally damaged in such a way that she is incapable of pulling herself out of the abusive relationship.
That being said, I feel terrible for her that she has chosen to return to her abuser. It takes many abused women a while to extricate themselves.
It’s very difficult to watch a friend or coworker put herself in danger, but what those women need from the rest of us is not CENSURE but support and clearheaded advice and help. You could provide her the strength to get out by listening and pointing out (ad nauseam) that the things happening to her are abusive. Please don’t give up on abused women just because they are not able to get away from their abusers right away. They need support to heal themselves and see the situation for what it is until they can remove themselves from it.
I am saddened and disturbed to hear she’s going back to this dangerous situation. I really hope he doesn’t kill her next time.
Orenthal J. Simpson, Ike Turner, Chuck Berry, R. Kelly – and they aren’t the only ones.
I know this has no bearing on the situation but Chris is SOOOOO not cute. Gross. She should dah- hump his arse and move on. And Diddy needs to mind his business. Fool.
Does anyone else think maybe everyones just hyping this up. NO WHERE that I have seen does it say that he is going to trial for battery or assault just for threats. She was out on her birthday and there were pictures where she was not bruised or had a split lip like the picture showed. I know makeup can cover things but it still makes me question the details of all this. Another thing is that why have several actors come out and said that its being blown out of proportion and that its not as bad as it seems. I cant remember that happening in any other case where a woman has been beaten like the picture is showing?
I agree with Lunamarysol. I’m always amazed that people who claim to be “progressive” and “open minded” and “tolerant” are the first to tell other people how to live their lives and then cut them off if they don’t act in what’s currently considered the socially acceptable way.
She is NOT in “love.” What a horrible abuse of such a beautiful emotion that exists between two people devoted to the happiness and well-being of one another.
There is no love in these relationships. There is only sick dependence, weakness of character, and a refusal to conquer fears.
She may not be deficient in intelligence, but she is a stupid, silly girl. I only hope she’s not pregnant. What a tragedy if she were to become so by this man.
she went back to him
Does not surprise me and she went back to him by the end of the month.
the charges against Chris will prpbably be dropped and next time they get to a smackdown, it won’t be done in public they’ll just do behind closed doors.
diffrent strokes for diffrent folks some people get off on S&M daddy relationships , some people thrive on jealousy and public drama in their relationships and so on.
It just sucks rocks for people in abusive relationships.
Harshly worded, Aspen, but I agree with you.
I was weak of character, sickly dependent and my fears took over me when I was in an abusive relationship that lasted 3 years.
It was only thanks to the unconditional love and strong words and reminders of a dear friend that was I able to get out.
Chicks dig a-holes. We didn’t need this article to tell us that.
I’ll rephrase…young women dig a-holes.
You go right ahead, Aspen, dispensing your self-righteous twaddle as usual. You must be such a perfect, sanctimonious pain in the ass.
It’s a terrible mistake for her to return to him, obviously, and this does not bode well for her. No less than her life is at stake.
To those who call her weak – Jesus, people. Pile it on, why don’t you. She’s young and she has a lot to learn and so, apparently do you. Educate yourself please.
Lunamarysol – I’m sorry. Your post was not up when I submitted mine. I’m glad you are OK now.
Thank you Orangejulius, and thank you CandyKay for your supportive comments.
Honestly, had I not found myself in an abusive relationship I would have not understood or supported anyone else. I remember the days when I believed abused women were pathetic masochists.
I’m one of those people that don’t seem to learn from other’s experiences.
K.B. may have a point. The media spin related to rap stars has been manipulated and carefully managed for years. Usually someone gets shot or is accused of a shooting. The press goes wild with over-hyped coverage, maybe there is a trial…maybe not…and then the “gansta rapper” goes on to have a highly successful career. Abuse is abuse, whether it’s a shooting or a female battering. Has Brown’s record label come up with a new way to promote him as the baddest gansta rapper in the land? If so, shame on them….pitiful. We’re a sick, sick society if this is the case.
Its her life. Her relationship. Her choice. I don’t know where CB is getting that he beat her unconscious. This story just keeps getting piled on and piled on with comments that aren’t true. The fact that he hit her is horrible enough without adding false reports.
If they are back together as People are reporting, then again that is her choice. We don’t know everything about their relationship behind the scenes, but I doubt she was manipulated into going back with him. She’s an adult and doesn’t depend on him for anything. I can only feel that if she is back with him it is because she wants to be.
I use to think Diane Lane was stupid for staying with her husband Josh Brolin for the same reason. But they are still together and married, aparently have worked through their abusive situation. From the outside looking in, we can say women like Rhianna and Diane are stupid for staying in abusive relationship. But in reality, we are not the ones in their relationship to truly know all that is going on. Perhaps the reason their relationship works afterwards is because the individuals get the help they need and are able to work through it as a couple.
You never know.
IF the story is true that is sending the message to teens/young adults it’s okay to let yourself get beat up by your boyfriend. She has to be mature and realize she’s a role model for many young people. I hope the story is false.
As a former victim of pretty severe domestic abuse, I have no problem feeling harsh about this. Rihanna is contributing to future episodes by putting herself right back in the mix. Considering the hell most women have gone through just to escape such crap, it’s almost insulting to see someone who could easily walk away just run right back.
If someone keeps putting their hand on a hot burner, how long before you lose patience with their predicament?
Rihanna can do what she wants, and there will always be someone to help her out when she needs it again. But, she can also hear the truth.
You speak of “love”?
WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
Where do you think that came from?
Given her age, her financial independence and no kids…there is nothing in these areas that often hold a battered woman to her husband that apply to Rihanna.
It’s the sex and that irrational mental state of ‘first love.’
If she’s gone back to him because she’s pregnant that’s not happy news. Abuse often escalates when a woman is pregnant or after a baby is born because men who are abusive are insecure and jealous of attention they feel is being ‘taken away’ from them.
She needs to seriously check her head if intends to do this.
“There is no love in these relationships. There is only sick dependence, weakness of character, and a refusal to conquer fears.”
Between all her family/friends/fans, this girl has a HUGE support network. She should be using them to heal and get as far away from that sick creep as possible.
Going back to him, she’s acting like a stubborn child.
Lunamarysol wrote What none of you seem to understand is that a woman in an abusive relationship comes to it with emotional problems.
I wholly disagree. I had an abusive boyfriend, I didn’t go into it because I had emotional problems. I didn’t know he was an abuser when we started dating, my God if I did, I would’ve stayed clear of him.
She’s foolish and thinks she’s in love and he’s an abuser and knows how to say the manipulative things that keeps her around. His goal right now is to get her alone and alienate her from her friends and family.
I would never say “cut the cord” on her but he’s going to make damn sure no one gets to her. That’s what abusive men do.
I was just about to write what Aspen wrote. This isn’t love, its co-dependence. It’s just so sad to listen to her spout all that tough-ass, you-dont-deserve-me now-get-the-hell-out talk in “Take A Bow”, and then not seeing her walk the walk. I know she didn’t write it, but you’d think it’d come back to her at this moment.
The world is her oyster, it really is, I just hope she makes the most of what she has.
From a career perspective, I think she needed to press charges, get a restraining order and move on from him.
A lot of these young singers talk in their songs about being strong women, and if the man ever cheats or disrespects her, she’ll show him the door. (Have you listened to the lyrics in “Take a Bow”, Rihanna?)
Well, a beatdown is the ultimate disrespect, so she needs to walk the talk if she intends to have any credibility after this.
It’s sad. So, so, sad. She’s a beautiful girl with everything going for her – but she’s making really bad decisions. If he beat her that badly over car keys and text messages wait till the next time, and believe me there WILL BE A NEXT TIME. From his own admission CB has had an abusive past, and has continued that cycle of violence into his adult life. Not to mention being part of an industry (Hip-hop-R&B-pop) which helps to perpetuate the standard that women are worthLESS! His half assed attempts at violence councelling – I’m not buying. He’s attempting to save his “nice-boy” career. I have grown (27 yr old) friends who still wonder “what she did” to make him snap. Shows you how effed up peoples views on domestic violence are still at this point.
I hope she survives the next beating.
I was in an abusive marriage for 6 years, starting when I was 18.
The abuse started out “small” = verbal, a shove here and there, a bit of controlling behavior. After each episode he always cried pleading for my forgiveness on his hands and knees, vowing that it would never happen again. I was young, stupid and wanted to believe he could change. Over a period of 6 years the abuse escalated; intimidation, humiliation, slapping, kicking, punching, affairs. I lived 2000 miles from my family and hid it from them. I was embarrassed and humiliated.
After years of listening to what an useless piece of shit I was, I was beaten down to the point where I had no self esteem and believed his criticism. (I had three kids, no college or job skills)
To some of the women or men who can’t understand this, and think it’s simple to ‘get away’, it’s not, at least in my case it wasn’t. I see some of your points, but until you are faced with a nightmare such as this you cannot truly say how you would react. You could only hope to be that strong.
It was only after moving back to the Midwest near my family, that I felt the courage and support to file for divorce.
My daughters were toddlers/babies then and I did not want them to grow up thinking; abuse was how a marriage worked. I didn’t leave him soon enough, I blew it. My eldest daughter does remember him abusing me, the younger two don’t.
I do hope this young woman sees the light and ends this toxic relationship. The price she pays next time might not be a fat lip or bruised face, she could pay with her life.
~~quote: You must be such a perfect, sanctimonious pain in the ass.~~
I’m nowhere near perfect, and I’m never sanctimonious.
This is an internet discussion board about people I don’t know personally. Given that, I tell the unmitigated truth about my opinions.
In person, I would tell her the same things in a more loving way.
Just as you wouldn’t call me a bitch to my face if I were standing in front of you (and because I’m not a bitch at all)…neither would I be so harsh to a woman in Rihanna’s shoes. I would NOT, however, feed her by helping her justify what she’s doing with psychobabble or attempts to soften the situation.
I’m an honest person who feels VERY strongly about this particular issue. There’s nothing sanctimonious about that.
He will beat her again but next time will be smarter, knowing to avoid the face. Instead she’ll be covered with bruises and contusions where the cameras don’t go. She’s young, stupid,obviously got sucked in by his pleading phone calls (saying he’d never do it again) and is really going to have to get her nose rubbed in it before she ends this relationship.
One day she’s gonna be crying on Oprah on where her life went wrong.
You are my hero, Girl. You found the strength to leave before he could hurt your kids…and before he could do the kind of damage they are SAYING this man did to Rihanna.
That makes you a hero who was smart enough and strong enough in character to SEE what was going on and get out.
I’m so glad you did and that you’re okay now.
After being pumped up with compliments until he felt bulletproof, the fly strode into the spider’s web with every confidence he was in total control of the situation…uh oh.
If it’s true that is kind of disappointing. I remember her father was quoted in saying that she not going back to Brown was to show younger girls that you don’t go back to your abusers, or something of that matter. I’m sure I quoted it wrong but you get what I mean. I just hope she doesn’t go back to him as much as I hope People are wrong. Point blank.
I’m really sorry that this is something we have in common. I’m glad you mention the part about leaving because unless a woman’s been there, she’s not gonna get it.
Your eldest isn’t going to hang on to a memory of seeing their mother abused, they’re going to think about how strong a woman she was, and is.
Sending a big hug…
I’m not really buying that Rihanna is too “victimized” to know this is not a good move. At this point in their r’ship, she knows exactly what buttons to push to manipulate Chris. This time, she just pushed too hard and he flipped. She, however, won total support from a sympathetic public; he lost it all. She’s in complete control right now (she thinks), and this is her twisted version of winning the battle. She’s using her new public victim status in every wrong way she possibly could, and it’s insulting and degrading to all women.
Honestly, if she really does care about this guy, the best thing she could do for him is just walk out. She’s not going to change her behavior, nor his he; but at the end of the day, she’s going to win. Unless she’s dead. Then they both lose.
I just wanted to comment about the person who called CB a “gansta rapper”. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! CB isn’t a gansta rapper. He’ don’t even rap! He is a singer. He sings pop songs. That is the reason people were so shocked. People thought he was the nice boy next door.
Also with time the public will forget all about this. Because people never talk about when Sean Penn was locked up for beating Madonna’s butt. Or when Mickey Rourke dotted his then wife model Carri Otis’ eye. Both women never pressed charges. My fear is the face of Domestic violence will be of a black man beating his woman. Which isn’t the truth. Domestic abuse can and does happen in all races. I wish RiRi all the luck in the world. I can’t and won’t judge her. Because I haven’t been in her shoes. And as for Chris Brown… please get help.
I really hope this isn’t true.
And hey, Wench? That’s probably the lowest, worst thing a person can say to or about a survivor of abuse. Way to go
The truth is domestic violence is a lot more common than we think and it is horrible that it has to happen and should not.
That being said, we’re never really going to know what went down between Rhianna and Brown and to some degree it is none of our business. Yes, they are in the business and have made the choice to give up some of their personal lives, but at the same time, all the opinions about what she should do is not helpful anyways. We don’t know the full story. I’m not condoning what went down, but I’m just saying that it’s not really fair for us to assume either, becaues really the only people who really understand what happened is Brown and Rhianna.
My two cents is lashing out at Brown for what he did is valid, but the more people tell that to Rhianna the more power Chris has too. I don’t know if anyone gets what I mean? He could easily use that against them too and draw Rhianna back even further.
I wonder what all the apologists/enablers are going to say when he kills her.
But the comment about some couples and drama? True, I know a few like that. They get off on the tension and making up and winding it each other up and spilling their guts about their stupid lives. It’s unhealthy and a dumb way of being in a relationship, but as long as kids aren’t involved, let them destroy each other and figure out too late they’ve wasted their lives. re Rihanna and CB, my bet is this will repeat itself for quite a while. It won’t end well. Guaranteed, Rhianna will not have a long successful career. I totally think she’ll flame out in 5 years or less, and end up doing nothing and looking beat. She’ll age before her time. Same with Chris. They’ll be nobody losers by the time they’re 30.
Rihanna, ask yourself this question. If you stay with him and and have kids, would you want him to do what he did to you to your children ? I’m sure this is not the first time he did this. Grow up and get out.
I swear yall some dumbasses. Her going back to him should PROVE she is not some helpless battered woman. They are a YONG couple in a toxic relationship. I think the FIGHT they had should be a wake up call that if it gets violent maybe its time to call it quits. Sure she’s a vicitm, a victim who BRAGGED about breaking a glass bottle over her BROTHER’S head. If she will do this to her flesh and blood, what will she do to her man???
SHE IS NO HELPLESS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM.
Have any of you ever seen the burning bed. That’s domestic violence. He was a woman beater, not this young man.
I totally agree. He may be more an Ike to Tina, but the way he allegedly choked her into unconsciousness, my guess is he’s another ticking timebomb O.J..
You’re exactly right. The only way we’ll see the bruises is if her skirt opens a bit or her sleeve moves up her arm. Then there’ll be some lame excuse and nothing will happen for a while – until the next time.
Speaking from experience (9 years and ending up disabled for a year from him hitting my head to the point it messed up my inner ear), abusers don’t get better, they get worse, unless they really commit to working on themselves. Yes, it’s Rihanna’s choice to go back to him, but those of us who lament that choice understand how grave her situation is.
“I swear yall some dumbasses. Her going back to him should PROVE she is not some helpless battered woman”
^^^ This, mostly.
Does the name Denise Brown meaning anything to her??
@ Daisy & Baho:
I, too, am a member of the ‘club spousal abuse’. I knew the man almost 2 years and he NEVER gave indication that his personality would change like flipping a switch. After 4 months of marriage, I saw what he was, threw him out of my house, and my 11-yr-old son and I tried to go on and THAT’S when the stalking began: disconnecting my phone lines on the outside of my house, disabling my car so I couldn’t leave the house, up to attempted murder.
That’s when I took my son and we RAN. The law did not help–not ONCE. We hid from him in various battered-women’s shelters for 2 1/2 YEARS while we waited for the police to catch him; when they finally did, the judge on his case was a very good friend of my mother’s (into whose business this man would break, stealing everything he could and looking for evidence of my whereabouts) and sentenced him to 40 years with NO possibility of parole.
Now we are safe but the nightmare will always be there. I applaud your strength and hope for all the women out there to just get out–DON’T stay.
Rihanna has a rare chance to get out of this relationship before it wears her down, while she has supportive friends and money to take care of herself; many women stay until there is no other option for them (in their minds).
Hey guys lets not jump to anything okat it’s just speculation. Nothings been offically confirmed….or denied.
To all the posters who say her going back to him gives her the power because she manipulated the situation, you are all so fucking stupid.
Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship, you have no idea the dynamic. Never ever does the woman feel she has any control. He always has it, ALWAYS.
And it doesn’t matter that we don’t know what went on in that car, it doesn’t. What we know is she was beaten black and blue. How the F would it matter if we knew, again, he beat her black and blue.
I do know exactly what he’s saying to her right now. “I’m sorry, baby, I’ll never do it again, you just make me so crazy and now everyone hates me and I’m so hurt and I need you now to comfort me.” Notice the “I” and “me” statements? To the women on this board who’ve been through it, I’m right aren’t I? You know why? We’ve all heard it.
Hopefully her friends and family will stop this.
it makes me sick to think she went back to him after what he did. . i mean i know how she may be feeling cause i’ve been there myself , you keep thinking in your head that maybe this time they’ll change and it will all stop and things will be fine , but it never does it only gets worse . . I’m scared for her right now there in that honeymoon stage and everything seems fine . . but i keep thinking that if chris browns career does in fact go down the s#@t hole and he blames rihanna for it theres no telling what he will do . .
I just hope she can get the strength to leave him before it’s too late
I wouldn’t be surprised, but I wouldn’t be happy either. Mind you it is up to them what they do.
However, I can’t say I’ll view either the same way now.
“I swear yall some dumbasses. Her going back to him should PROVE she is not some helpless battered woman”
The logic of this comment escapes me and the ignorance is astounding. It is a pattern for abused women to return to their abusers over and over again until they either figure it out or are killed. That is the reality of the situation and it’s no different because he’s a famous singer. Unlike a lot of abused women, Rihanna is not financially dependent on Brown and she doesn’t have children to worry about, so I can only conclude that she has extremely low self-esteem because a woman who valued herself would not allow herself to be treated thusly. She needs counseling to discover why she is putting him above her life and career. From the comments all over the web, if this story is indeed true, she is going to be a pariah. What is her family and management thinking? I can guarantee that they are scurrying around trying to figure out how to salvage her career.
Hopefully it’s not true because here I am feeling sorry for her – and radio stations banning Chris Brown music – and she MIGHT have willingly gone back to him??!!
If this is true then why the hell ain’t her parents stepping in? I mean, she is an adult but still…you would think that him smacking her would cause her to wake the f*** up.
God help them both because they need it. I would NEVER have gone back to him. It just shows you how damaged she is. It’s really a shame, because no matter how many time these people say they aren’t role models, young kids DO look up to and emulate them. I’m afraid that many young girls will think that’s it ok to go back to the guy in this type of relationship since “Rihanna did it.” It’s just sooooo sad. She really missed an opportunity to stand up for herself..and give someone else the courage to leave their situation.
Jaybird/Helen (can’t recall), what was it you said the other day? It takes usually 8 attempts to get away from a abusive relationship?? So sad Rhianna seems to take just this path. I wish her all the best and maybe she changes her mind soon, without further incidents!!!
Praise God I have no first hand experience of domestic violence, but I’m wondering if it’s kind of like stockholm syndrome for the victims? You know where victims start to identify with and become emotionally attached to their captor, so even when they’re given the freedom to run, they don’t?! Just wondering.
Well. Maybe boycotting Rihanna as well as Chris Brown could be a good start. I don’t see how she’ll be able to maintain her ‘strong woman’ image after that.
She’s had more support than any battered or abused woman alive. I thought that could shift things a bit towards leaving him. Obviously I was wrong. This didn’t help.
She’s young and she’ll end up leaving him, hopefully. Or she’ll end up dead.
Of course Sean Combs had to had a hand in this.
Stupid, really stupid. … I hate women like this… All the abusive men are celebrating,
Rihanna really disappointed me…
Its a real shame how someone so beautiful could fall short in recognition of Intimate Partner Violence(IPV. Its even more sad if the rumors are true and she”s back with him. This type of attachment to an endangered situation is a symbol of childhood expereinces which are “viewed” as acceptable patterns. Let’s hope her ignorance and dependency doesn”t make her a “statistic.” As far as he is concerned, its a disgrace to see how money can be seen as a “get out of jail” card. It seems as if state laws are good for some and not for others. They should lock him up and throw away the key. As far as Rihanna, she needs some serious therapy, as I said before she is just one more number, fame or not!
@Baho & Aspen, thanks ladies, your comments felt like a warm blanket, I appreciate it.
I was reluctant at first to comment from personal experience, my actions could be viewed by some as foolish or weakness.
You’re right Baho, my daughter didn’t hold on to it. She is a strong woman now in her 30’s.
@Persistant Cat, your comments rang true with me also, you’re correct. I would wear jeans and long sleeved tops to hide the bruises he inflicted to protect him so his family didn’t find out. Even though we lived in Phoenix during summer months.
@Jag, my heart aches for you. I must admit reading your comment brought back memories for me that were so vivid, I felt physically ill. There are things we just never get over, but we can learn to scale that hurdle in order to move on. Huge hug to you and I hope you are doing better now.
@Solitary Angel, the night I finally had enough; After choking me in front of my daughter, he had thrown me down the stairs and out the front door into the snow. I was wearing a short nightgown and no shoes.
I was able to get away from him by running to a neighbor’s house for help. They called the police, 4 squad cars including a K-9 unit showed up. After an hour a rookie cop sheepishly came to my neighbor’s house and informed me that they were not arresting him.
While he was choking me, in self defense, I must have scratched him with my nails, he said I attacked him. When I went back into our house to get my kids and clothing to leave, my ex and all of the officers were in my dining room talking & laughing. I filed for divorce the next day, after filing a complaint with that PD.
Wow, we have some incredibly strong women on this board…huge props to all of you for protecting your children and saving your own lives by leaving your abusers.
im from barbados and ive been a in an abusive relationship, and its hard to stay in the relationship and hard to get out as an individual you need to love your self, im speaking from experience no kids im studying psychology yea haha once u love and have respect for yourself u wont let a man continue to disrespect u…im not a superstar as she is no diva bitch either but she should not condone is actions and f she really is back with him and she supposed to b a cultural ambassador for the youth here in barbados she could kiss that shit goodbbye…im not hating on CB or her but f she knows that she is dumb enough to go bakc with him why create alll the hype and attention she should take the licks and go home or whatever the situation is since she has gone back to him if its true i have no respectfor her on the basis that she thanked all her fans for support came baack home to barbados for support group and back with the man she should neva left and stayeed with him then she’s an idiot f she is back with him seriously and i hope my gvt takes away that title f its true
What a sad story. Just last night I watched a play called the The MENding Monologues. It was based from the male perspective on ending abuse against women AND men.
It was a beautiful collection of men sharing their own stories and experiences with abuse peppered in. To leave such a powerful moment in time, after hearing so many statistics of rape and violence only to hear Rihanna possibly is back with CB just broke my heart.
Too bad RiRi can’t catch this play, maybe it would help to enlighten her.
“SHE IS NO HELPLESS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM.”
Take a break, Corky. Don’t type any more, or your last remaining brain cell might fizzle and die.
daisy424: Holy S***!! S***!! That’s awful. Good on you for getting out. Man, positive vibes to any woman who’s had to, or is dealing with this kind of crap.
It’s Rihanna’s decision people. It doesn’t make her a bad person because she went back. She loves the guy, and love is blind most of the time.
She’s only human and it’s wrong of you to judge her and wrong to judge Chris. Non of you were there when it happened and we all know how the media can blow things up
Just want to say how brave everyone is for talking about their own experiences. When I said she was in love maybe I should have said “thinks she is…” Of course I know that is not love, but she obviously doesn’t. It’s very clear on here that people who have experienced abuse firsthand know that ist is a cycle sadly, very few people get out after the first time (Not sure if this was). People who just think she’s an idiot obviously have no firsthand experience.
My parents split up about half a dozen times before my Mom finally left him for good. He was an alcoholic and mostly verbally abusive (although there was plenty of physical rage, holes in the wall, broken t.v’s, all that fun and games), but he always convinced her he could change. I’ve been there, seen it, don’t think anyone outside of the situation will ever appreciate how their simplifications might seem like common sense yes but sadly it’s just not the case for abusive relationships.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she was raised in an abusive home or maybe Barbados is not as progressive as other places with male/female relationships in their society, I honestly don’t know. It is hard to fathom how she could take him back (if she has) so soon after those pictures were out for all the world to see, once the dust settles I’m sure people/her fans will continue to challenge her about it, I would hope she is not surrounded by people like Diddy who obviously have no care for her welfare.
How wonderful to see that stars are dumber than ordinary smart people. Just makes me feel so appreciated.
In this day and age, why are women tolerating abuse? Rihanna does not have to rely of Chris Brown for money, fame, etc. She is so young and they have no children together, so why the obiligation to stay with him. And even those circumstances still does not make abuse okay. She’s not getting my sympathy again.
I agree with you MRS. DARCY, you “honestly don’t know”. I am from Trinidad and some people are quick to think people from Caribbean/small/third world countries are hanging from trees and are “not as progressive as other places.” I will have you know that women here are strong, independent, intelligent and self-empowered and don’t put up with sh!t from men, not even if it was just for one time or even if they promised that they would change! Alot of people don’t know why Rihanna went back to Chris but I don’t think stero-tying will give us any answers. Everyone makes bad decisions, it has nothing to do with where we come from.
DUH!!!! you people act like you didn’t know she was going to get back with him. thats why i wondered why she even bothered to call the police she should have just stayed in her car after getting her ass whooped and went home. Also half of you dummys do the same thing your bf treats you like crap and you go back so save the comments because all yall are dumb . Like kelis said “you maybe didn’t break the way you should’ve broke, yo’,
but I break.”
also I can say this shit is not going to last. they will eventually brake up so she is getting her ass beat for no damn reason. I don’t know how you can be with a guy and out of no where he starts pounding on your face there is always signs even if you say NO HE WAS SWEET ugh sign what guy is completely sweet how about when he gets mad! Get to know a guy before you start swapping spit having sex and “falling in LOVE” I’m a chick but girls make me sick . If I someone how missed the signs of a physco man and he starts beating my eyes in im have to fight him even if i get my ass killed he aint walking away happy someones going to lose and eye ..or a penis.
That kelis quote makes no sense to me. DUh, it’s morbidly amusing to me that you call out other people (whom you don’t even know) as being “dumb”, when you write like a fourth grader. On the plus side, your screen name suits you perfectly.
Lisa: It was speculation about cultural relationships roles, sorry if I caused offense. I have dated people from S.America, etc. (I know it’s not Barbados, apparently all women there are self empowered?), and they totally do have different ideas about men and women. It’s not a third world or a racist thing, I never said that and sorry if you think it was implied. People in all different countries have different relations between the sexes – I should have used different wording than progressive, but then I can say I think that male/female relations are less progressive in France as well. Sorry to offend, didn’t mean to. I think it’s mildly offensive you have no sympathy for an abuse victim myself but to each their own.
LOL…….Codzilla! That’s hilarious…..I share your sentiments…….I didnt understand
sh!t what duh!/DUh was trying to say. It’s just wrong for people like that to refer to others as dumb!….LOL.
But DUH has a point in there at least “Get to know a guy before you start swapping spit having sex and “falling in LOVE””
But then again, Rihanna knows Chris very well now more than ever and went back to him.
So DUH, we are not the dumb ones!
codzilla stfu same to you lol …you probably think it was right for her to get her face turned into mash potatoes and then go back to the physco who did it …Fools and yes you all are DUMB…duh
codzilla …like thats any better lollll …duh don’t worry about how I write worry about what im saying I could save you your face and plastic surgery bill in the near future.
I agree with Duh but she is to harsh …..
MRS. DARCY, thanks for clarifying the whole “progression” issue. Your comment sounded condesending. I guess words can be misconstrued. Just the same way you made it sound as if I have no sympathy for abuse victims; which is not true.
However, I will say this; I do not apologise for not having sympathy for Rihanna anymore. I was very sympathic, concerned and hurt when I first learnt that she was a victim of abuse.
Now that I know that she has gone back to Chris Brown less than a month after, all shacked up in Diddy’s pad, she will no longer get the sympathy of many people if she continues to get abused.
So when I said I had no sympathy, that is what I meant. There are too many role models right in Rihanna’s fratenity as a celebrity that she can look up too rather that repeat the same mistakes.
I don’t really care if that sounds “mildy offensive” or not.
wow!!! I’m shocked rihanna how could you !!!
Lol- stop sucking up to people on the internet FREAK
duh- you don’t know why people do what they do!
codzilla – what are you 40 ? do you even know who rihanna and chris brown is
no rihanna nooooooo Let me love you baby
Damn kitty 40 year olds can listen to r&b too lol!
LOL LOL LOL LOL …..
You people get offended to easily……..it’s a good thing you all are not celebrities…….
These blogs are about having a discussion…….If you can’t handle the fire get out of the kitchen….
Do you think celebrities really care what we think?!
Duh: Where in my post did I say I was in favor of Rhianna’s choice? Please, stop cutting class and get back to school. You’re in dire need of some basic critical thinking skills.
Kitty: Of course I know who they are. My very presence on this thread would confirm that fact in a more capable mind than your own.
umm I’m NOT about to sit here and argue with you ..the only reason I’m even on this site again is to show my friend the news I found
codzilla: Please don’t address me I don’t talk to 40 year old bald men online thanks and good luck
codzilla what a strange name as kitty stated your a “40” year old r&b lover who likes giant fish? I suggest you stop talking your kind of embarrassing yourself . Why won’t LOL stop LOL’ing please stop.
Rihanna I hope you know what your doing babes
chris brown you bastard
Could not have said it better Lunachick;
“Wow, we have some incredibly strong women on this board…huge props to all of you for protecting your children and saving your own lives by leaving your abusers”.
GOOD FOR ALL OF YOU!
Proof that the vicious cycle can end.
I feel sad that she needed to go back to him. Once a beater, always a beater……
She is still very young, I hope her parents step in and do sth the way Britney dad did when she was messing up her life.
While I know its very hard to walk away, I also believe with strong support it can be done before its too late.
This blog is getting out of hand! Instead, you all are arguing amongst yourselves! It’s a good thing you all are not in the same room together!
This blog is supposed to be about Rihanna and her decision to go back to Chris Brown…..Remember?
Glad to see that many of the bloggers are focused on the topic at hand and expressing their concern about Rihanna and other victims of abuse.
I do hope that Rihanna knows what she is doing…..
Um Rihanna is a grown azz woman. She does not have to set no EXAMPLES for anybody because everybody lead there own lives and live them the way they want to. Look at most singers and pop singers and rappers…most of them singing half azz naked and callin themselves B*tches isnt rolemodel music either but how many ppl are complaining about that?
Its NOT RIGHT FOR A MAN TO HIT A WOMAN AND ITS MOST CERTAINLY NOT RIGHT FOR A WOMAN TO HIT A MAN. Either side its wrong.
And please stop saying the girl was in a ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. she was only hit once..her and Chirs had a fight..BIG F’N WHUP? How many couples dont fight? Get over it. and let them live there lives by there own decisions. Shes not GOD and none of you us are either…so we all are entitled to make mistakes just like we are all entitled to be forgiven.
Its amazing how people tend to forget that ABUSE GOES BOTH WAYS. Theres women out here that abuse the sh8T out of men, just as theres men out here that abuse the sh*t out of women. Women are not the only ones in this whole entire world that get abused. And if yall so for defending this girl that yall dont know yall should be out defending ALL ABUSED WOMEN AND MEN..that go through it day by day innocently.
Yall act as if Rihanna was stomped to the ground, teeth knocked out, bloody nose..black swollen eyes, and ribs broken…theres women out here THAT REALLY GET BEAT THE HELL DOWN AND HOW MANY OF YOU ALL ARE OUT DEFENDING THEM.
Oh wait there not celbes so i guess unfortunately they dont count. SMH!
None of you were there to see If Rihanna hit the boy first…what? a man should not defend himself because a GIRL DECIDED TO HIT HIM? WHAT? JUST BECAUSE SHES A GIRL SHE SHOULDNT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANY CONSEQUENCES TO HER NEGATIVE ACTIONS?? How ignorant and sexist is that? If a woman has the balls to hit a man she needs to have the balls to deal with those repurcussions good or bad.
There are some very good and supportive comments here, but the negative and personal tone of others is dismaying. This has always been a site where people (mostly women) could speak their minds in a “safe environment.” That means no name-calling, no unflattering speculation on the identities of other bloggers and no telling others to STFU. There are a ton of other sites where everyone is calling everyone else a dumbass, but Celebitchy has never been one of them. Let’s keep the site a welcoming forum.
Ok, so everyone is so sure that Chris is a habitual abuser right? Just prior to this incident there were rumors circulating about how jealous and demanding she was in addition to initiating heated arguments in front of friends and coworkers.
Take in to account as well that neither he nor Rhi gave an account of what actually happened.
Its is funny how the majority is so ready to overlook details that came out claiming that she repeatedly punched and scratched Chris and also attacked him with the cell phone prior to throwing the keys from the car. His behavior is inexcusable but we are all human and all make mistakes. If those reports are true he was more than likely very very angry at that point and when she follwed him outside the car to continue the fight he finally had enough and lost his composure and struck back. By her own admission Rhi has been physically violent with her brothers. Even attacked the oldest with a glass bottle….
If she were totally innocent in this then it would stand to reason that
a) she would not be with Chris right now as a show of support and solidarity pre-trial date
b) she would ensure that he received the harshest punishment allowed by the state for said violence against her
Makes one want to revisit the scenario huh?
I think that people should, let these two work things out on there own. What chris Brown did was wrong and I’m sure he is regretting every moment. But if these two want to be together than who are we to judge them. Remember just be cause they are famous, they are still humans and they still make mistakes.
For goodness sake people. MYOB. Rhianna will stay with Chris until she has had enough. If the relationship had been so abusive I am sure she would not go back to him. And another thing how do you all know what happened?
In Rhianna’s and every other battered woman’s defense, it is not okay for the media or anyone else who has not been in that type of situation to begin to pass judgement on her. Am I agreeing that it is healthy or wise of her to return to a relationship were someone she claims loves he; has abused her sooo badly…absolutly not.
She is young and naive, and just needs her family, friends guidance and support to help build back her confidence.
Although her mentor Jay-Z is married and I do understand that; besides her biological father he is the only male figure in her life at the moment, who has the power to be the voice of authority or at least to reason with her.
I’m sure being in an unhealthy relationship with someone who obviously has pshycological problems is affecting her judgement.
And to add insult to injury this kid is out there running around Miami like this is ordinary behavior, and their is no remorse, or any type of normal period of reflection, where you at least, if not really think about your actions. I think that in order to show Chris the severity of his actions, he may need to actually face jail time to fully understand, that that will not be tolerated with ANY female.
These kids are just not getting it. But I do pray that Rihanna, sooner rather than later does realise the consequences of her actions on deciding to stay in a relationship with a person like that. I don’t know if she’s thinking she can “fix” him, but we all know that won’t work.
Daisy, I felt like I was reading my story except mine never seems to end. Even though we are in the end of our divorce the control he still financially holds over me is just another way he abuses me and the children. We don’t act correctly he with-holds it and knows I don’t have the money or means to fight him. We never had a joint account in 17 plus years of marriage. Money was just another way he abused me along with calling me every name you could think of and hitting me, the last time breaking my tail bone. But it started out with just shoving (while I was pregnant) and then hair pulling and then kicking, pointing his finger so hard into my chest I thought for sure there would be a hole all the way through me. He never thought I would throw him out! But he started in on my daughter and that was the final straw! He cheated on me, he was the lowest man on the earth and guess whatm he learned it all from his dear old dad. His own mother told me once, “If you would have just left him alone and been easier to get along with – you would still be together.” She was a victim for life, I am not! He is with a friend of mine now, it is only a matter of time till he hits her too. They were having an affair while we were married – she was married too. She was our next door neighbor in Punta Gorda FL. Wait till he starts worrying that she is cheating or spending too much money, and then he will start hitting her too. He better not think he is coming home. Never ever again…
The fact that this DA is “considering” whether ot not to press charges is a disgrace on the very judicial system that is currently already under divine scrutiny. Again…why does wealth and/or stardom excuse criminal behavior?
Sorry to say but I never liked Rihanna but she didn’t deserve this beating; but if she’s back with him than those two deserve each other and I really hope that both their careers suffer because of that. Great example for young girls and boys they put out those two!
Oh rihanna plz give me a break
you are crazy in love i understand
but you are out of your mind to get back with a guy who almost tried to destroy your face………………..
Cin: Stay strong. I wish I could hug you.
Hang in there Cin. I met a fabulous man who treats me and my children like gold. We have been married for 24 years, had two sons together and I have never been so happy!
My daughters are doing great also. They are all married to men who treat them with respect and love them.
@Kitty and DUh, you two disgust me.
Rihanna, I really thought you were better than that. You gone let a young 19 year old boy beat your A** , than you gone go back to him.
I don’t care if its Chris Brown or not. Girl he’s youmg and goofy looking you can do a whole lot better than that.I feel sorry for you.
I don’t even look at u da same. Maybe its that you are really the immature one. Not a hater but just one of your fans that love you alot willing to keep it real.
i dnt think she deserve him . yea he was wrong for putting his hands on her i not condoning it but some of us know how we get with our boyfriends and if we see a girl talking or texting them we get upset but i said that to say we dnt kno the situation wit them we was not there they kno only but they should just let it go…
I think it is all too easy for people to pass judgement on others they don’t know.
Saying that, the pictures of her face were awful
He is not the right man for her i hate him but sadly i like his music but i hate what he did.
I think they are both pathetic losers. This teaches little kids who look up to them that it is okay. Sickening.
Rihanna’s self esteem must really be low, she has no reason whatsoever to go back to that lil punk chris brown. Both need real counseling. If she were my child, I’d be kicking chris brown ass on a daily basis, and not one of his bitch body guards would stop me. I hope she gets out of this relationship before she gets hurt worst. He will hit a woman, but want do anything when one of the bros from the hood step to his punkass.
Beautiful rihannah sometimes you can be so stupid that you go crawling back to the man who allegetly assaulted you, I mean the guy punched your face to a state that we your fans had a hard time looking at you. I’m not discouraging you not to go back to the guy but if you do , that mean in future you are going to remain chris’s punchung bag. Remember that he grew up in a very abusive relationship with his mother and step father. Inough with sympathising, thing is you llove chris butt it doesn’t seem like he loves you, he’s just looking for good publicity of snooping arouond with the umbrella superstar.