Martha Stewart trolls Gwyneth Paltrow with ‘consciously coupled’ dessert

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The war between Gwyneth Paltrow and Martha Stewart has been going on for a while. At first, the war was merely based on passive-aggressive comments here and there, mostly from Martha because Martha loathes all things Gwyneth and Goop. As Goop has grown into a larger brand, Martha left the subtle digs behind and went for more direct action, publicly bashing Gwyneth and her Goop brand in an interview last month. When Gwyneth was asked about Martha’s comments last week, Gwyneth said she was “psyched” if Martha sees Goop as competition.

This is what happened next… in the new issue of Martha Stewart Living, Gangster Martha just started openly trolling Gwyneth’s Conscious Uncoupling. This is the page:

martha gangster

In case you can’t read that, here’s what it says:

Every Thanksgiving table should be blessed with the presence of a long-married pair who bring out the best in each other, are completely enamored despite their differences, and leave every other guest thinking, I’ll have what they’re having. Our holiday pies honor such so there’s a pleasant mix of textures and flavors in every bite. No matter how you slice partnerships, each spotlighting the perfect marriage of crust and filling these six irresistible desserts, there is a whole lot to love.

[From HuffPo]

GANGSTER. As you can see, “perfect marriage” is even BOLDED. Salt in the wounds, Martha. Personally, I think there’s also shade being thrown at Gwyneth’s eating habits and self-imposed dietary restrictions. Gwyneth would never deign to eat a PIE. Her idea of “dessert” is a second glass of wine and a cigarette.

What’s Martha going to do next? Put Jennifer Lawrence on the cover of Martha Stewart Living to talk about how much she loves eating pizza with Chris Martin’s kids? Haha.

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Photos courtesy of WENN, Martha Stewart Living.

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110 Responses to “Martha Stewart trolls Gwyneth Paltrow with ‘consciously coupled’ dessert”

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  1. Kiddo says:

    If I were Goop, I’d be loving this. Martha can’t get her off of her mind.

    • denisemich says:

      Martha is Pissed that Gwyneth stole her CEO.

    • epiphany says:

      Paltrow’s massive ego doesn’t leave room for her to laugh at herself.

    • Hmmm says:

      ^^^^^ yep ^^^^^

      don’t mess with Pepper Potts!

    • Bridget says:

      Its pretty funny… but also a bad move on Martha’s part. All she’s doing is legitimizing GOOP as her competition, and now whenever anyone mentions this month’s Martha Stewart Living they’re also going to mention GOOP in the same breath.

      • Lady D says:

        They’ll be mentioning GOOP while laughing at Gwyneth. I don’t think it’s the attention GOOP wants.

      • Bridget says:

        Martha’s showing weakness. She may be making fun of GOOP but all she’s really doing is telegraphing that she’s threatened by GOOP.

      • Betty says:

        It’s so weird because I don’t see them as competition at all. I think they appeal to different demographics — Martha to the Baby Boomer set and Gwynnie to the Gen Xers and maybe older millenials.

    • Gia says:

      I’d say they have a symbiotic relationship. Martha gets to remind people that she’s the OG of lifestyle and still relevant, all while giving GOOP some much needed headlines. I love them both :)

    • Lucinda says:

      Exactly. Goop is getting under her skin.

    • Sunny says:

      I know. This is a win for Goop. Martha comes off as petty and preoccupied with Goop. She is choosing to troll Goop which legitimizes her as competition. It is hilarious!

  2. Sumodo1 says:

    Weeeell, I think Martha has an editor who wrote it, showed it to Martha, got the go ahead, and voila. Martha writing her own copy? Psshht!

    • L says:

      Martha is one of the few in the business that actually reads all of the copy/looks at all the images that go into her magazines. If its in there-it’s because Martha approved it. And it is awesome.

    • hadlyB says:

      Nope, Martha is all about business just ask her daughter.

      I personally love this, I wonder what will happen next and who the heck is buying anything at all from Goops site? Really??

      Martha all day every day, GO Big M.

  3. Jayna says:

    Shady, Martha. Sly, very sly. LOL

  4. Jem says:

    That pie looks delicious. Team Martha.

  5. Abbott says:

    What in the artisan rap battle hell is going on with these two? Thug Life, Martha.

  6. Lindy79 says:

    I’m sorry is there a story attached to that delicious looking dessert that I want to live in?

  7. Brin says:

    Ha…love it. Hope Martha keeps dishing out the digs on Goop. Don’t forget, Martha served time, there might be a file in that pie.

  8. PunkyMomma says:

    Yea – gimme the pie.

  9. Nev says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!!!!

    bahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaa.

    back .off. trick.

  10. Chris2 says:

    Yeah, saw this and absolutely gawped! Amazing. Of course it can be parlayed as simply using a current buzz phrase, but yikes, quel daring.
    I meself think it’s terrific, because it’s not a personal dig so much as an appropriation of a rather pompous phrase, and so it’s simply ( (very) humorous. If any snark stays on this level, it’s fine and quite refreshing in a way.
    No real weapons please, ladies!

  11. Renee says:

    Yes, she is being petty and perhaps should let it go but I LOVE Martha for this, THE WOMAN IS GIVING ME LIFE.

    • lucy2 says:

      That’s how I felt too. It’s a bit petty….but hilarious, and I don’t want it to stop.

    • Nikki says:

      Right; it’s so much more fun when folks’ human side overpowers their diplomatic side, if they can take the heat. Team Martha 100%

  12. Rhiley says:

    Martha Stewart can be quite hilarious. She was once on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and told this terrific story about briefly dating Anthony Hopkins. It was one of the best interviews I have ever heard. I think this shade at Goop is very deliberate on Martha’s part, and it is great.

  13. QQ says:

    WITCH CACKLESSSSSS

  14. Virgilia Coriolanus says:

    Martha is the Queen of Shade….

    • Kiddo says:

      Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, even if Martha intended shade. She made clear that Goop is culturally relevant.

      • Chris2 says:

        Yep….I think It’s hilarious but no more bitchy that a nudge in the ribs. I’d even call it affectionate joshing, but fear my Martha-fangirling may be running away with me!

  15. MCraw says:

    BANG! POW!!

  16. Eazypeazy says:

    I feel like Martha reads our comments. I doubt she cares about GP but this “war” is publicity for her

  17. Shijel says:

    About time we got another good old-fashioned bitchfight. Baked taters just came out of the oven. Anyone else want some, got no popcorn.

  18. Carrie says:

    God Gwynwth needs to lay off the cigarettes, her skin is trashed under there. ‘Great skin’ my ass.

    • Charlotte says:

      Yeah, I think her skin looks pretty much as expected for a fourty year old who doesn’t understand how skin cancer works, smokes and drinks.

  19. Colton says:

    She’s honestly just attracting Gwen more attention. She seems insecure and stupid.

  20. bella says:

    martha is EXPERT in pr, business/brand dominance and SHADE.
    don’t mess with this b*tch.
    she reigns…love it, love it, love it.
    sit down petty novices…

  21. JudyK says:

    Personally, I love it!!!

    Martha is incredibly articulate and intelligent and didn’t need someone else to write that for her. She has an acerbic wit, and I say Touche.

    Gwyneth is a pretentious brat who could not be just separated or divorced…no, she is above all that and had a “Conscious Uncoupling” instead…absurd. Martha’s satire is perfection.

    • mia girl says:

      Martha’s satire is so on point.
      On the one hand this recognizes Goops existence in this space. But she also firing shots. Martha reigns supreme. People of all types relate/use to her products, its mass retail at its best. Even her shade she is relatable because the public had a collective eye-roll at the whole Conscious Uncoupling thing.

      Goop’s offering is more like a boutique. Her current brand is not scalable beyond a particular demographic. And I think Martha is also letting Goop’s new CEO know that if Goop is trying a rebrand to have more mass appeal, they are in for a big fight. Martha is ready to defend her territory.

      “Get off my well-manicured, compost infused, arugula growing lawn!”

  22. Ag says:

    where is that pie? i want to go to there.

  23. jalee says:

    I’m loving this feud!

  24. Oliver says:

    Perhaps it’s a dig at Paltrow but Martha has no defense for a perfect coupledom either. I don’t recall her being married and she is supposedly a tyrant to work for. She’s a difficult personality.

    • JudyK says:

      It’s an obvious dig at Paltrow and a well-deserved one. Martha was married for 27 years and has a daughter.

      • delorb says:

        And I’m sure that when she got divorced she didn’t sugar coat it with that uncoupling bullcrap.

      • JJ says:

        Her daughter has very few nice things to say about Martha. She has a reputation for being quite unpleasant and rude actually.

        According to a book her own daughter wrote, Martha Steward public persona has very little resemblance to how she was behind closed doors.

    • Falkor says:

      I tend to believe Gwyneth is likely a “difficult personality” as well. Frankly they both strike me as stone-cold bitches, but I think Martha has the advantage as she is a stone-cold bitch who walks the walk. She is a creator & Gwynnie is a curator.

  25. Ladyray says:

    lmao, the shade! Martha Stewart is the real OG when it comes to shade.

  26. Steph says:

    I love Martha’s digs at Goop. Martha is the real deal. Gwyneth is just a fake,an actor and who would actually take advice from Gwyneth?

  27. Jaderu says:

    This is why I prefer Martha.
    Goop shades Martha and gives us $400 Tshirts and scones made from the breath of Chilean virgins.
    Martha shades Goop and gives us chocolate pie.
    CHOCOLATE PIE

  28. SnarkGirl says:

    Martha is really starting to grow on me. That shade was as delicious as those pies. :)

  29. MAC says:

    Can someone please explain to me how Goop is competition for Martha. I do not get it.
    Goop is kidding herself or is she delusional? Martha has an empire. Goop has a web site.

    • FingerBinger says:

      I don’t think Goop is competition ,but Martha believes she is. I would think that Martha would see someone like Rachael Ray as competition not Goop. Rachael has a show,a website, cookware. I don’t get it. Martha is looking in a mirror. That’s probably why she doesn’t like Goop.

      • inthekitchen says:

        But Rachel Ray is like a store-bought cake mix from a box while Martha is a freshly-baked cake made from wheat she grew in her back yard, harvested and milled herself. Two completely different levels.

        I don’t think Martha and Rachel Ray are aiming for the same audience, but I do think Goop is trying to be on Martha’s level (and is aiming for her audience) with all of her curated advice and products. The difference though, for me, is that Martha can do everything she talks about from the ground up – she can bake that pie pictured above, or keep her vegetable garden growing, or turn her guest suite into a 5-star hotel room (including knowing how to clean the toilet and make up the bed, etc.), or get a stain out a tablecloth, or whatever….Goop? not so much.

    • Other Kitty says:

      GOOP is absolutely NOT competition for Martha Stewart. Martha is QUEEN of all things domestic. I have also heard she is difficult but aren’t many men as well? She is a brilliant businesswoman and I LOVE her style. And I’m just a peasant 😉

  30. Lv says:

    Pretty but that crust looks dry. Its such an obvious comment, not subtle, no wondering did she or didnt she. Tacky, Stewart!!

  31. amp122076 says:

    I don’t like either of them but this feels too petty and beneath Martha. Too overt.

  32. Mon says:

    This is hilarious! Childish, but still so very funny. Goop will probably see it as a good thing and conclude that she “had inspired” Martha….

  33. G says:

    Goop just got bitchslapped…with PIE! LOL! She betta fall back before she wakes-up to a caramel cake with browned butter frosted cream in her bead. Fuggitaboutit.

  34. may23 says:

    Not a die hard fan of Paltrow myself I still don’t get why does everyone hates her? She isn’t the only pretentious and self-absorbed (things I hear they accuse her of being) celebrity but she seems to get the biggest pile of crap.

    • birch says:

      I gather it is her web site and the advice she doles out on it that could only be followed by other multimillionaires that people hate about her. I have never visited it but one can’t escape some of the gems like “conscious UN coupling” (spellchecker will not allow me to write the exact phrase). She seems quite down to earth in comparison to that other moron who currently is curating a similar type of site and is too stupid to realize that odes to the antebellum south might not go over well what with most people associating the antebellum south with, you know, slavery.

  35. kri says:

    Martha Stewart aka Old Dirty Bastard, has just brought down the walls of Castle Gloopen. BWAHAHAHA! Oh, hell yes. I can’t wait to see this continuing saga…souffles at dawn, name your seconds!!

  36. The Original Mia says:

    Team Martha! That’s hilarious and also delicious.

  37. annaloo. says:

    We have all left this page WANTING that pie in the picture.

    Who cares about Gwyneth? She’s as done as her skin looks.

    Martha Martha Martha over all.

  38. Anon says:

    Snap! Martha made Goop a sh*t pie! Ms. Stewart is hardcore…remember when she walked out of prison in that poncho, made by the fellow inmate? http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,1107441,00.html

  39. Ice Queen says:

    Hahahaha, Martha seems…worried? Maybe this is like a PR stunt for both of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if one called the other with the idea of bashing each other…

  40. msw says:

    This is the best thread I have ever read. Cackling.

  41. RJ says:

    I don’t cook or do much else in the kitchen or home, so I don’t have a horse in this race. But I’m more Team Martha than GOOP, just because the shade Martha throws down is so delicious. If the intention was to get us all to pay attention, it’s definitely working. Would love to exile Paltrow, Hathaway, and Lively on a desert island somewhere to see who would win the most annoying award.

    • mia girl says:

      With all this talk of pie, I read your last line as “dessert island” …. sounds so yummy.
      I want to go to dessert island!!

  42. Miss Melissa says:

    Martha is a badass. I bow down for her excellence.

    Queen Martha.

  43. kelly says:

    I have a question: what’s the best way of handling someone who insists on being a “mean girl?” I guess, if I’m either Martha or Gwyneth, the answer would be not to engage right?

    …or wrong?

  44. suzy says:

    MARTHA STEWART i adore your balls!!! well done!!

  45. LAK says:

    That dessert is delicious looking. I’m drooling here.

  46. Falkor says:

    Thugnificent Miss Martha ain’t here for Goopy’s Gooptastic Goopery. Martha puts out tangible products that she’s had creative influence over. Goopy tells rich folks where to buy their organic gluten-free farm-fresh gilded rose toilet paper from. I strongly doubt Martha considers Goop to be competition simply because they aren’t business rivals pandering to the same demographic. Goop being in the red probably doesn’t have Martha shaking in her gangstalicious boots, either.
    http://www.celebitchy.com/361751/gwyneth_paltrows_goopcom_is_hundreds_of_thousands_of_dollars_in_debt/

  47. Sykes says:

    You can’t deny Martha knows how to troll for publicity and coverage.

  48. Vera says:

    PhD level bitchiness. Love it.

  49. judyjudyjudy says:

    Guess the only press Martha can get is when she tries to connect herself to Goop in any way possible. Bet Goop thinks it’s great…free advertising. :-) In any case, it’s funny. Nice pun.