More than a month ago, people noticed something funny in the then-new issue of Martha Stewart Living. Martha had included a dessert recipe for a “Consciously Coupled” dessert for the Thanksgiving holiday – go here to see. This was widely taken as Martha “Gangster” Stewart poking at her enemy Gwyneth Paltrow yet again. The Martha-Goop feud has been simmering for a while, but Martha took it next-level when she openly criticized Gwyneth for “trying to be the next Martha Stewart.” Martha also said Gwyneth “just needs to be quiet.” Gwyneth responded to that by hiring the former CEO of Martha Stewart Omnimedia and by declaring that she (Goop) is “so psyched” that Martha sees her as competition.
So, what now? The Rise of the Blonde Mean Girls, basically. It’s a fight to the death, through recipes. Gwyneth saw Martha’s Consciously Coupled pie and raises her a “Jailbird Cake.”
Jailbird Cake? Seems like a dish best served cold. Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest baking suggestion appears to be a cleverly veiled diss at domestic rival Martha Stewart’s past as a prisoner.
Published on her website, goop, the dessert consists of chocolate wafers and whipped cream – and brings to mind 73-year-old Stewart’s 2004 stint behind bars (and then under house arrest) for insider trading. Now that’s having your cake and eating it too.
You can see the recipe for the “Jailbird Cake” here at Goop. I hate when cooks/chefs just put layers of whipped cream into a “cake” and expect that to be enough. Whipped cream is a dessert garnish, it’s not the whole GD CAKE.
Anyway, this is just the blandest, most WASPy rich blonde girl fight ever. Gwyneth and Martha are literally taking passive-aggressive swipes at each other THROUGH RECIPES.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, Goop and WENN.
Martha wins this round. This is the blandest cake I’ve seen
Nuh-uh, girl! This fight is delicious. Honestly, my indifference to Goop has swollen to love in the last year.
I actually think this dessert has a pretty, nicely graphic presentation.
Visually, I would only switch the shaved chocolate ontop to a darker chocolate with the milk chocolate curls remaining.
Also, My mother would disagree with you and Kaiser. She is PASSIONATE about homemade whipped cream and would adore this cake in its shameless decadence.
I want more of this feud! I think Goop is winning. Martha, it’s your turn…
I wholeheartedly agree with your mother: I LOVE whipped cream (and any other sort of sweet cream layered on top of more sweet creams). I cannot care less for hard cakes. Sigh.
Anywoo… yeah, I’m team Martha. Martha for the win. I’ll await her next move with vivid interest.
I’m always surprised that she continues to consume dairy. I’m surprised she didn’t require that the whipping cream come from free range grass fed cows…
Its a case of no contest. Martha is a living Goddess & goopy is, well, goopy. Martha’s stint in jail & the grace with which she handled the entire episode, just adds to her street cred. Goopy on the other hand is the anti-matter version of street cred
Exactly my sentiments too.
yeap.
This is what I call “cultured crassness”(tm). Next I would like to see Martha create a banana pie with a hole in the middle with lots of “goop” or creme surrounding it. As the finshing touch, you stick a whole banana upright in the center of the pie in order to shut the pie hole.
Agreed. Copy-cat shade is lazy and shows a lack of creativity. This comes off as unoriginal, weak and childish. So, Martha wins, again.
Shanksgiving is coming early this year, eh?
She should have made a Jailbird ‘Eww De Toilette’ for Martha, instead. It would have made a bigger stink.
I want Martha to start dating Chris Martin. The shank in the rib that keeps on giving.
#MarthaMartin4evah
@Jaderu – It wouldn’t even have to go that far (although #MarthaMartin does have a ring to it). How about Martha decorating and catering at Chris’ place for the first “occasion” (ie Christmas or the like) that he has the kids for? She could do a feature in the magazine too 😉
“It’s A Good Thing” could be his next caterwauling single of sadz.
@jaderu That would be EPIC. Martha’s single now right? Someone make that happen.
Best idea ever! The ensuing meltdown would be epic!
@Abbott – Shanksgiving. Genius.
LEAVE CAKE ALONE! What did cake ever do to anyone? 🙁
#freethecake
#savethecake
Come on, Kali, she is being dreamy & empowering, and thinking thoughts. Oh, wait, wrong thread…
i love this cake’s brave, complicated mind.
It has black guyliner too.
Not going to lie I had slight chuckle but more so because this is just so silly. I wish my biggest problem in life was finding a way to insult someone with a dessert recipe! Come on ladies play nice or I’m taking your cookbooks.
Blake Lively will come up with the “Old White Cake”.
If she does, I will be her #1 super fan! Hahahaha “Old White Cake” – it’s extra rich!
That cake is obviously not a real cake just a quickly thrown together retaliation to Martha’s diss. They are both so ridiculously immature.
Retaliation cake. Sounds good. I dare to think what might be the ingredients.
@Mzizkrizten
Agreed. No winners here
And it seems even contrived with the fact that Martha nominated Gwyneth for the ALS ice bucket challenge.
Martha did not know anyone else?
Or she was aware mentioning Blake/Gwyneth would lead to more headlines?
So on this goes……..
Wake me when they start throwing these desserts at each other.
YES! Celebrity death match: food fight edition!
Of course Goop’s shade includes dairy, gluten and hydrogenated oils (that’s the real prison in her mind).
Such a WASPy fight. Only thing to make it more so would be Stewart personally delivering Gwyneth her consciously coupled pie with Paltrow responding with here is my Jailbird cake for you!
Here here! Why is this okay? I have to say, as a WASP myself, I’m not offended by the use of this term here, but you’re absolutely right! If I (or anyone else) were to make a comment about something being so ____-y, (insert ethnicity term) I’d be in big trouble!
WASP is not an ethnicity, please.
I need cake RIGHT NOW.
god, me too…
I can’t believe that whipped cream and wafers is being frowned upon as if it wouldn’t be amazingly delicious right now.
Goop’s cake isn’t actually a cake. It’s just whipping cream and wafers.
such genius innovation.
let’s not forget goop was bold enough to include a BLT ~recipe~ in her amazing “cook”book. 🙄
WTF? That isn’t even a recipe. Is it Oreos and whipped cream? Try harder, goop. At least MS can back up her talk.
Based on the deserts alone-Martha wins. That chocolate pie looked fantastic and had a great recipe to.
This icebox cake by Goop is just blah. Not appealing.
Paltrow wishes she could hold a candle to Stewart. Even though throwing insults via recipes is ridiculous, Martha’s desert is so much more appealing. Everything Gwyneth does, GOOP related, will always look second tier.
At least Martha’s dessert looked good. That’s way too much cream.
I think it’s funny! Over to you, Martha! Fight fight fight!
But also, I agree: wafers and cream ain’t no cake.
This is seriously the most hilarious sh!t I’ve read all day.
That cake looks cool — love the stripes!
Like bars on a jail cell. Very poetic. Ha!
I was just hit with probably the strongest pregnancy craving ever at the sight if those pics.
Guess what ladies? My due date is tmrrw, which happens to be my hubby’s birthday. I can’t believe Bun is still in my oven. I’ve been ready for nearly 3 weeks…..I can’t tolerate the thought if another week, or even day!
Suggestions, anyone?
When I starting “nesting”, frantically rearranging all the kitchen cupboards – I got contractions that same night. Baby came out three weeks earlier than due date.
Probably I started doing that because my body was telling me I was almost ready…nesting probably did not put things into motion. Who knows though?
First pregnancy?
Yes, it’s my first.
Annika I ate a whole lobster for my birthday. My son was born the next day. Lost the lobster, but got my boy!
congrats! i’ve heard that spicy foods and sex help speed things along. and physical activity, like walking. good luck! 🙂
For me it was physical activity – walked 5 – 6 miles the evening before I delivered my first. washed a car before I delivered the second and with the third went out grocery shopping so I would have food the next day because I had a friend coming over. With the third pregnancy, every time I started really doing something physical, my husband thought I was going to go that night! Every one is different! Congrats and good luck!
Walking, shopping, climbing stairs, all kinds of physical activity.
Best wishes!!!!!
I would’ve chuckled if Goop’s dessert was actually any good. Right now her retaliation just makes her look like a child, both in behaviour and cooking.
They both need to grow up. They’re acting like 13 year olds.
Cannot wait for “I hate you, b*tch” tiramisu and “Die, you skank” homemade pie
This fight just got really delicious.
You go, ladies! I love every single minute of it.
Can this even be considered a real cake recipe? It’s literally a mound of whipped cream and wafer cookies. This is the kind of thing I whip up when I’m drunk and too lazy to fry up tater tots. When your recipe sounds like a Rachel Ray dish you know you’ve lost.
Oh no. Now I want tater tots!!!
I am never too lazy or drunk to make tater tots.
You can warm them up with a Chi flat iron. Amazing the cooking shortcuts that can be discovered when pinot grigio is involved.
@Jaderu:
You are a genius.
I LOVE this feud. So much.
that “recipe” is actually printed on the box of those chocolate wafers. At least it is up here in Canada.
Yup. It’s an icebox cake and has been around forever. It’s sooooo freaking good.
It looks amazing. I don’t get the hate.
It’s probably Goop co-opting the delicious icebox cake and calling it her own. Hate the co-opter, not the luscious dessert!
Call me naive but I find it shocking if it’s already printed on the box . Isn’t that like plagiarism??
Oh, a question in my wheelhouse!
By American copyright law ( and similar laws exist in most other countries as well) , you cannot copyright a list of ingredients. The body of a recipe ( the directions/ steps to prepare the recipe) are considered under copyright if they are uniquely original.
By uniquely original: no one can really hold the copy right for putting drinks ingredients in a shaker, shaking them and straining them into a glass, or how to cream butter and sugar or make a salad dressing.
Most recipes would be considered original if there are three alterations to another recipe. Some writers adjust ingredients and then rewrite the instructions to be able to call a recipe their own. Most ethical food writers will mention the original or source recipe as an inspiration or say their recipe was ‘ adapted from ( name of source recipe/original author).
The only thing that can be protected under copyright about food is really if you trade mark a name, such as kit kat bars or Derby Pie.
Well, the recipe has been on the box for years, so, no, Goop did not invent the recipe, she just used it…..
Ask Jessica Seinfeld. Sorry, feel like a bit of a bitch today.
Actually, maybe Goop asked JS and she gave the green light . Forgot they are friends.
Martha should get JLaw to do a bridal spread with a CM stand-in. Complete with Mrs. Chris Martin 2 undies.
Whoa! Ms.Goop is a brave woman to take on Martha S!!
my money is on goop, martha is struggling financially
Both of these women are untrustworthy, insufferable narcissists. Gwyneth is a pea-brained hypocrite who knows nothing about nutrition and doesn’t follow her own advice; and I’ll never forget the story of cheapskate Martha making her catering staff pour leftover wine from people’s glasses back into the bottles. She’s also famous for publishing untested cookbook recipes, many of which are disasters.
Damn I wish I hadn’t read that.
Every Marthe Stewart recipe I have tried making has been horrible. In contrast all of Goopy’s recipes have been really good.
I have a couple of her books and I’ve never had a problem with any of the recipes.
I have her pies and tarts book and I’ve had success with about 80% of what I’ve tried. And I’m kind of a “spaz” in the kitchen, according to my son..
Santolina, I remember that being reported about Martha Stweart here in Australia, along with a lot of coverage about the events leading up to her stint in jail. She sounds like vile woman.
For ages we’ve also had the same type of recipe for GP’s “cake”, too, printed on the pack of Arnott’s Chocolate Ripple biscuits (cookies). It’s very popular at afternoon tea in lots of workplaces, or for the table at Tupperware parties…
Both these women make themselves look stupidly childish, and need to just concentrate on the their own lives and businesses. Life’s too short for such idiocy, and surely, they’ve things in their lives which are far more important, so they both should just shut their cakeholes and get on with it.
Yep again. That’s an icebox cake. The recipe is on the chocolate wafers package and it’s pretty much perfect. GOOP’s version has too much whipped cream/too few wafers. It would be bland.
unless she seriously spiked that whipped cream with something yummy, I agree it would be bland due to the off kilter ratio.
Martha wins because she made a pie. Team Pie Forever. And she made a pie that looks like a poop wrapped in sheets of Manila paper in honor of Goopy. Goop made whipped cream with stripes cake. Like Martha is going to cry about that.
Martha’s been to prison, Gwenny, you need to slow that roll.
Love this. My money’s on Martha!
Canned whip cream, sure, but the homemade stuff is much richer and heavier, do you could use it as filling. Still not anything I wouldn’t be too lazy to make.
This is beautiful, though. WASP battles at their best.
So silly, someone should spike their food.
Did Goop’s recipe include how to bake a nail file, five grams of coke & high end moisturizer into the cake? I bet Martha’s recipe would…..If Martha & Goop wrestled in a kiddie pool what would the food be? Lemon meringue or the standard jello?
…this just seems so stupid.
Oh the luxury of the WASPy ladies who lunch who have time to bite their thumb and decide how to mix chocolate into passive-aggressive commentary. Must be nice…
I will say this, petty doesn’t look good at any age but it looks ghastly when you’re pushing 80 and should have had a million things bether to do than engage with Goop. She’s one of those people who’s sheltered and ignorant to society as a whole but polite and friendly to people in person, so Martha needs to consciously uncouple her fcks and make herself look good before this drags into some more foolishness.
Martha would shank a bitch with a knife made out of fingernail clippings and the dried tears of prison virgins.
This is hilarious. Gwyneth made a disgusting cake that nobody with a bit of taste would actually put in their mouth, then she dedicated that mess to Martha Stewart.
I’m liking Goop better and better everyday.
I respectfully disagree. You are too being too kind. I think this was her best shot.
Not a fan of icebox cake and this is not visually appealing (terrible styling with the milk chocolate shavings) but I also thought Martha’s looked like poop in a phyllo crust. Wait, I think she intended it to be that way! Ok, carry on ladies!
God she’s awful, Goop I mean. I took the consciously coupled pie thing as a joke, the conscious uncoupling? decoupling? formulation was damn funny. Goop is taking this to another level. Baecth
That is “ice box cake” and it is on the back of the chocolate wafer cookies. My Nana made it for desserts in the 1950s! Nice try Goop, but it’s not new.
I made a cake similar to this once. The recipe was for a vanilla cake and a chocolate sauce. After the cake bakes, poke holes in it with a straw and pour the chocolate syrup in them. After a couple of hours in the fridge, the chocolate thickens, and you can cut the cake. It was called jail cell cake.
F this noise with Leann and Brandi, Jennifer and Angie. This feud is the bee’s knees. I love it. The comments never let me down.
That would actually be really fantastic if she’d put any kind of pride or effort into the recipe. Martha wins this round as well.
A better way to make this cake would have been to use ice cream sandwiches. It would still make the “pattern” of the prison cell, but add the dimension the cake is lacking. Cream and wafers do-not-a-no-bake-cake-make. Anyway, this is a publicity stunt, in my opinion. Think about how much traffic it generates for both sites! Smart bitches.
I love whipped cream and could basically put on anything. But I draw the line on whipped cream cake. That just sounds too much. Looks pretty though.
Dagnabit, my eyes just rolled right out of my head again. Excuse me while I go chase after them…
Just found this. Martha Stewart’s bite before Goop’s Jail bird cake! 😀
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/13/martha-stewart-gwyneth-paltrow_n_5966142.html