Madonna (aka “It”) refuses to say Guy’s name

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These two are just so mature: in response to stories that newly single Guy Ritchie has taken to calling ex-wife Madonna “It,” rumor has it that Queen Gristle refuses to say Guy’s name. I guess fair is fair in love and war. The only problem with that: her personal assistant’s name just happens to be Guy.

Hilarious news from the Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce wars: first came the catty revelation that Bitchy Mr. Ritchie routinely referred to Material Wife as “It”…as in, “I can’t stand ‘IT’ anymore!” But now comes the delicious scoop-de-doo from my Madonna spy, Lyka Vurjin, who dishes that “It” can no longer stand even saying “Guy,” so she’s started addressing one of her personal assistants with the same name as “G”!…as in, “Hey G, bring me a cuppa Kabbalah water!”

The poor guy…oops, G…reportedly ain’t happy about it, but he knows the “It” will hit the fan if he bellyaches.”

[From The National Enquirer print version, March 23, 2009]

First of all- why the hell does NE writer Mike Walker insist on that super-annoying writing style? I know he’s pretty much a gossip icon, and his stories usually turn out to be dead on, but his writing is the absolute worst! Just give us the information, you old hag.

Okay, now that I’ve cleared that up, here’s what Madonna is going to do to deal with this situation: she’ll either fire this poor schlub for having the misfortune of sharing that name with her ex, or she’ll convince him to change his name somehow. If anyone can do it, Madge can. She brings the term “control freak” to an entirely new level! So, she hates saying the word “guy,” huh? That must be why she is dating a “boy” instead.

Here’s Madonna entering — where else– the NYC Kabbalah center with her son David. Wow, he is almost as big as she is! Photos: WENN.

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32 Responses to “Madonna (aka “It”) refuses to say Guy’s name”

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  1. Ceenitall says:

    Her face looks some how different. I think she has had more work done recently.

    And I think she is turning into a guy.

  2. Sauronsarmy says:

    He kinda writes like Ted Casablanca.

    Its hard to believe that these people are adults with children.

  3. jay_center says:

    Stupidity in gossip world has no limits! Guy Oseary is Madonna’s manager, he is in “Team Madonna” since 1992, when they formed Maverick records together. Guy is still heading the Maverick Records as CEO, producing successful movies such as Twilight, and keeping Madonna at top spot with her music, tour and other deals. Personal assistant? Kabballah boy? Just funny and ridiculous!

  4. lrm says:

    yea,she definitely looks like she has horrific cheekbone implants of late-they look painful and awful. Please oh please take them out,Madonna. They are not helping your image on any level.

  5. boomchakaboom says:

    This is about the dumbest crap I’ve ever heard. Honestly.

  6. Lem says:

    “it” ain’t gonna happen. These “guys” are insane. good luck with “it”. trying to avoid the word “guy” would drive “it” insane. Go’head try “it” for a whole day. See how many times you “guys” hear “it” and say “it”

  7. lisa says:

    Her clothes are best left in the trash bins.

  8. Lem says:

    “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
    It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.
    It places the lotion in the basket.”

    Nobody? Really?

  9. Maritza says:

    Why on earth is she carrying him, he is big enough to walk by himself. I find it so ridiculous when famous people do this, it’s obvious they do it for the photo opportunity, so people will say what a loving mother she is….please!

  10. Karen says:

    Haha Lem–funny. I just wish it would grow up & go away. As for that “guy,” he’s been through hell, he can vent.

  11. Ria says:

    She really does look like the puppet from Saw, doesn’t she? Someone on here or DListed said that, now whenever I see her…

  12. Feebee says:

    Her face looks like Priscilla Presley’s in the header pic, so whatever you’re doing Madge, STOP IT!

  13. Jill says:

    eek, it looks like she is about to drop that kid!

    i really hope this isn’t true on either her or guy ritchie’s part, they’ve got kids for god’s sake– grow up! you’re gonna have to deal with each other.

  14. crazydaisy says:

    her hands look way older than her face. better pony up for some hand fat injections to make a matched set.

  15. Kat says:

    And her feet and ankles don’t look any better either.

  16. Carrie says:

    I loved the story that Sean Penn saw her with her toyboy and congratulated her on adopting another child.

  17. anne from Texas says:

    I agree with Maritza. Young David is way too old and too big to be hoisted around this way. I don’t even want to go into how it makes you wonder what she’s thinking — sexwise about this kid. and i’m not going to say it, but has she got the hots for her adopted son? gross. stop her from adopting any more kids — especially boys. someone, please stop her.

  18. shonell says:

    look at her hands.
    no, look away.

    it ain’t pretty.

  19. Alexa says:

    OUCH! Bitter much! I don’t claim to KNOW what kind of a person Madonna is – but I can SEE that she LOOKS gorgeous!

  20. buenavissta says:

    These celeb kids get carried because it is dangerous and scary for them to be at ground level, swarmed by paps.

  21. paranel says:

    ” It ” is a control freak . No one can stand ” It” for long. It is a puzzle to me how someone with no looks or talent can get as far as “It” has. Only on controversy and PR . Wow.

  22. Baholicious says:

    Anne from Texas: The slant of your logic is worrisome.

  23. kimberly says:

    gorgeous? she is not. Admired? she is not.
    Glamorous? she is not. Scary look that she is. Crazy? so it seems. Jealous of people’s youth? Yup seems like that way as well. She seems to want the world to continue to think she’s relevant. She’s not that either.

  24. Alexa's Brain says:

    why when someone voices disapproval of someone’s idol, whether it be Vadge or Angelina, someone ultimitely will come on and claim jealousy. Soooo, should we assume, that anything that YOU find distasteful is just your jealousy surfacing? Probably don’t like that logic. Trust, no one is jealous of this narcasistic silly harpie. She’s fodder because her actions clearly show her delusions of grandeur, her utter self absorption and because she refuses to just GO AWAY

  25. Wench says:

    Woah, there. I’ll be the first to make jokes about her heinous persona and awful music but… paedophile? She’s no Michael Jackson!

    ….Although aesthetically…hmmm.

  26. itsy says:

    i wonder if David’s father is sorry he agreed to let his son be adopted by her now that she’s dating this very young man.
    i think it’s not so good for young Lourdes either. in a couple of years, that young man will be more appropriate for Lourdes.
    let’s face it, Madonna’s a low life. she’s not good mother material. plus, she’s making an ass of herself. poor kids.

  27. ChristinaT says:

    “and i’m not going to say it, but ”

    maybe you should have stuck with your first instincts…

  28. tony says:

    maybe this is a free country.

  29. ChristinaT says:

    wow tony, i hadn’t heard THAT one before… maybe if you can explain to me how anyone’s freedom was taken away then i’ll credit you with being an original thinker…

  30. lway says:

    It’s sad how their immaturity shows. Grow up Madge!

  31. tony says:

    it’s a blog, dopey. maybe you might notice this is a place where people share. not allowed in your universe. and you’re a bit snarky. i don’t have to be original. all i have to do is type. here’s original for you: madonna doesn’t belong being a mother. original enough for you, little miss superior?

  32. ChristinaT says:

    tony, i’m sorry you’re particularly “special” but don’t let that get you down, we all have our life challenges… what i did was a suggestion, and not a usurpation of freedom… if you had any reasoning ability, you would realize members commenting on a blog have no ability to take away someone’s “freedom” in any way shape or form… and i hate when people misappropriate that response… just shows no ability to argue or use logic…

    good day!