Olivia Wilde covers the April issue of Shape magazine. I have to hand it to Livvy, who gave birth to little Otis Alexander Sudeikis 11 months ago. I expected her to immediately start acting like an mommy expert, but she’s been really cool. She simply breastfed in Glamour and hasn’t been too preachy. Olivia talked about the dual importance of selflessness and loving oneself in order to be a good mother. Otherwise, she’s kept to herself.

Olivia looks fantastic on this cover, although I’m so weary of commenting on postpartum bodies. But Olivia wants to talk about it, so let’s let her take it away:

Her post-baby bod: “I am not in perfect shape. In fact, I’m softer than I’ve ever been, including that unfortunate semester in high school when I simultaneously discovered Krispy Kreme and pot. The photos of me in this magazine have been generously constructed to show my best angles and I assure you, good lighting has been warmly embraced. The truth is, I’m a mother, and I look like one.”

On the aftermath of birth: “Many people aren’t familiar with the post-birth experience — and why should they be? But let me tell you now: First of all, you haven’t seen your [vadge] in months, even though it’s all her fault you’re in this situation. Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn’t the gal you remember/ I [also] joined the ranks of millions of new mothers when I moaned, ‘Why do I still look pregnant? Is there another one stuck in there?'”

Getting back to the gym: “It felt like leaving a karaoke bar to go take a physics exam. If I wasn’t at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man — and by ‘party,’ I mean, of course, endless rounds of the ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.’ Also, I like beer. And pizza. And these two ingredients are not found in the purely fictional book I like to call How to Look Like You Never Made a Human: A Guide to Socially Acceptable Motherhood.”

Her dream: “I believe in a world where mothers are not expected to shed any physical evidence of their child-bearing experience. In that same world I believe there is space for exercise to be as much a gift to your brain as it is to your body. I don’t want to waste my time striving for some subjective definition of perfection. I’d rather rebuild my strength while dancing my ass off … literally.”

[From Shape]

Olivia also talks about how “breastfeeding helps, in the most intense way” to help the uterus snap back and burn some calories. That was my experience too, but as solid food came into play for the kid, it was super easy to gain the weight back. You can only eat for two for so long.

On everything else she says … I admire Olivia’s spunk, but I feel like she’s trying way too hard to be the cool girl. Not that I don’t believe she loves beer and pizza while staying in phenomenal shape. But because she’s humblebragging. There’s no shame in admitting she worked hard in the gym to achieve that body. And I do take issue with the idea that you can “look like” a mother. What does that mean?

Photos courtesy of Shape, Fame/Flynet & WENN