These photos are from August, 2010
As we saw on Wednesday, both People Magazine and US Weekly have competing covers this week for the Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner divorce. As I say in every post about these two: holy crap their publicity maneuvers are both fascinating and impressive. They are blanketing the press with positive statements, details and little stories to the point where the public doesn’t quite know what happened, doesn’t see Ben as a big bad cheating gambling drunk, and yet understands that the divorce was his fault on some general level. I’ll quit going off about this, but it’s just amazing to me. I told Kaiser it was like eating a good steak. (In no way am I reveling in the breakup of two parents or a family, I am just watching this unfold and clapping over here in my corner at how well they’re working the press.)
Both articles open with the details about Ben and Jen’s breakup vacation in the Bahamas. (Which was documented by a photographer, unsurprisingly) and then mention the couple’s statement. US Magazine’s take is much more smarmy and focused on the pain that Ben caused Jennifer. They also go into the nitty gritty of his serial cheating, drinking and gambling. People sanitizes the story, making it sound like it was Ben’s fault but that the marriage was fated to fail. I’m including some choice quotes and excerpts (which were not yet published online as far as I remember) from each below. I include more excerpts from US because they dished more dirt. Seriously, buy US this week. I can’t do it justice here, it’s a juicy read.
People: What Went Wrong
“At the end of the day, he left her no choice. But she has always been and continues to be the strongest person I know. All things considered, she is handling this as well as any person could.”Several sources close to Garner say that allegations of infidelity (which Affleck vehemently denies) and other troubling behavior by Affleck, including gambling and drinking, weighed heavily in Garner’s decision. “She loved Ben,” says another friend, “but there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough and take care of yourself…
“Saying he’s a bad father and husband is an easy story, and everyone has wanted to clock him as a womanizer and gambler…
“She could be overly controlling. He couldn’t deal with her expectations.”
US Magazine: Jen’s Secret Hell
Subtitle: After years of rumored affairs – and a quiet separation – Garner had enough. Why she showed Ben Affleck the door.It’s Ben’s Fault
“There’s a lot of bullish-t out there, but the reason they split is because of Ben’s drinking,” alleges one source, “and his infidelities.” (A source close to Affleck counters, “Ben did not cheat on Jen.”) While A-lister Garner, 43, back-burnered her career in recent years… her husband, 42, flitted from set to set… and with every hot new project came an opportunity to work with beautiful women. Though an Affleck pal says his wife and kids “take priority over everything else,” another source says, “Ben just couldn’t control himself.”Problems built up over the years
Sometimes the actor would confess his transgressions, Garner has told sources, and beg for forgiveness… but after a decade of heartbreak and seemingly endless whispers – and a recent 10-months trial separation – she’d had enough. “There wasn’t one thing that caused Jen to snap,” says the source. “It was a steady buildup over the years. She really, really tried.”Jen didn’t want to announce the split
“She had a very hard time going public,” a source says… “Ben had been pushing her to release the statement for several weeks. He wanted to be free.”Jen was controlling, according to Ben’s peeps
Garner source: “She keeps Ben in line as much as she can. She was his rock…”An Affleck insider argues Garner’s impossibly high standards hurt their relationship: “Ben was never perfect enough for her, no matter how hard he tried. It was an extremely controlling environment, with her constantly nitpicking at him.”
They almost split in December, 2010
“The spark was lost and the marriage had become a huge struggle…”They decided to spend one final Christmas together as a family. Then things changed… [but] their optimism was short-lived. During that summer, “the downs were becoming more frequent than the ups,” says a source. But Garner also became pregnant with their third child during that time. “That turned the whole thing on its head… You know how it is…. Baby comes and solves the issues for a bit, but it’s just a Band-Aid.”
[From People and Us, print editions]
In case you missed that, US just claimed that Samuel was a band-aid baby, which is something many gossips have speculated. I remember when those two had problems in 2010, because they were staging photo ops and In Touch reported that they were in counseling (which has since been confirmed). Around 2009, Jen stepped out with a huge diamond ring which many people speculated Ben bought it for her as some kind of apology for his transgressions.
So I think Ben’s team got to claim People Mag and Jennifer’s team got US Weekly. They’re still working together to manage the story. I truly believe that this divorce just set a whole new precedent for celebrity PR. Other bigwigs are going to want to either hire the team behind this and/or copy this method of blasting the press with positive quotes and then releasing just enough vague dirty details, which they then deny, to avoid additional digging.
All of these photos are from August, 2010. Credit: FameFlynet
Where’s Sixer? See, “band aid” baby, not PLASTER baby, dammit!
Fake baby?
Hey, your services on a consult for a muumuu situation is needed on the Paltrow article.
I gave you my expertise, free of charge.
That picture of him slumped in the chair should be titled:
“Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the next Batman!”
I love that picture. I want it framed in my bathroom. I imagine that it’s the perfect representation of his entire personality.
The Batfleck is inconvenienced by your very existence.
lol. Well said.
That first photo is quite telling. He is totally not interested in kissing her. His eyes are everywhere but on her. Body language speaks volumes.
He is always like that not just with JG but with JLO and other women too. He is just into himself.
LOL, oh, Ben is looking everywhere but at his wife.
Not a match made in heaven.
He’s rolling his eyes at the world, his life, his wife. I think he is the one who has higher expectations of what he should have and be, not her. His life is such a *letdown* and *exhausting.* Where’s the next Oscar-winning script, Ben?
+ 1. I really don’t see her as “controlling” if this is how openly disdainful and cheat-y he was, yet she still took him back many, many times. A real control freak would be all over that behavior, chastising him.
Does anybody remember the US Weekly photo before the J. Lo-Marc Anthony split where he has his finger in her face? Now, that guy was a control freak.
I know Ben’s fans are desperate to depict him as the victim of a “manipulative bitch” but photos like this murder that theory to death. What kind person marries and then stays with a woman they clearly hold in disdain for a decade? Why would you even have sex let alone not use a condom with her? Get a damn vasectomy if you need to. God! I see an emotionally abusive, manipulating, image obsessed user and his name is Ben Affleck.
He seems like these cowards who wont pull the trigger because they fear coming occasion the bad guy, so they treat you like crap so that you do the dirty work. In the meantime, the fact that they havent left gives the other party hope that something can be salvaged. Such a dickish move! “Dear kids, friends and media, she left ME. She gave up so what could I do *sniff sniff”
Re: your 1st paraghraph – sadly I see some men who have the same pressure to get married and have kids as you usually see among women. It’s like they just HAVE TO tick off that box to be a proper man, whether they want it or not (not to mention whether they’re capable of handling that responsibility)
So the woman holds no responsibility for birth control? It is all his fault just because he is an a**hole!?
qwerty,
Yep, I’ve seen this far more often among male friends from my 20s, men married with or without children but now divorced…
Then there are my female friends, who waited to get married until late 30s and start families or not, plus a few of us who are still single in our early 40s, including a couple of women who went ahead and had babies on their own.
And I’ve felt the pressure from men to “settle down”, whether the relationship was right or not (obviously for me, it wasn’t).
Ben wanted out in 2010-look at the kiss pic. He acts like is is kissing his talcum powdered-scented Aunt Gertrude!
Ben wanted his freedom in 2010. More proof that band-aid babies do not save a marriage.
Ben should not be married to anyone.
Some folks are calling Jen a manipulative bitch-she is def. not an angel herself.
Ben and Jen are poison together. They both have sketchy pasts in relationships-marriages.
Jen is such an egomanical fool. She thought her dimples, beauty, and motherhood skills would keep Ben faithful.
Let the truth be known-Jens hideous sandal collection killed the marriage. It was unwise for Jen to showcase her fug feet for her pap walks. I can’t even get into her horrible casual clothes. She is trying to save her marriage, and be a martyr frumpy-frump at the same time. Maybe Jen was depressed, and didn’t care how she looked anymore.
Ben looks bloated, and is pretending to care. Ugh. Jen and Ben are not fooling anyone.
JG is a manipulative bitch.
I see Kevin Smith is here.
Lol.
Best comment yet!
🙂
Yikes. Tell us how you really feel?? Affleck is no saint himself.
LOL someone is over invested. Get a tea darling.
Really!? Did you know that she wanted out since 2007/2008 but Ben’s camp shut it down.
Please let us not call Violet as a baby that forced them to get married or Samuel as a band aid baby. They are innocents and them being brand like this will have negative impact on them. I know because I was in the same situation as Violet.
Why the hell did she have the third baby then?
If she wanted out then why the hell did she have more kids with him?
+1 what an ugly way to call a little boy or girl.
The parents, they are not perfect at all, particularly him, but neither she.
Kelsey,
I’m the middle child, too, and my sisters were not too happy to be the “bookends” for my parents’ marriage (which, by the way, is probably stronger than ever, going on 47 yrs this fall!)
So what’s the saying about “best-laid plans”? No pun intended there, haha, but even well-intentioned people and perfectly planned families aren’t insured against breakups.
Poor kids.
Don’t forget now Ben is chasing the dragon as well, the marriage is ending this is nothing new, I’m sick of reading about it.
Ok I am sick of this and am very much team Ben as I find Jennifer to be a fake opportunistic manipulative social climber, butthis is out there now and one day their child will see it which sorry is heartbreaking. No matter my opinion on Ben and Jen there kids deserve nothing but a great life, like all kids, not to be called a bandaid baby in the press.
All I get from this is that Jen was attempting to mother four children (see what I did there?) and they have now labeled little Samuel as a patch-up baby. Wonderful.
Team kids (the three actual kids, that is).
And think it was men’s team that did it. Mother of the year right there. So gross I feel so bad for those kids.
I feel so sad that Sam has been called a band aid baby. I hope he never reads any of that when he gets older. 🙁
I know, just the headline alone of the story makes me feel icky. Kids should always, always, always be left out of it.
I am over this “St. Jennifer the perfect woman who kept him in track and bad bad Ben story”.
I know he is a mess, but I still don’t like this attitude.
Jen is really selfish, Eleonor. With all the evil things Ben might have like gambling, drinking etc., we have a woman here who used the dirty tricks to marry a man and the dirty tricks to keep him. Not to mention she be really cold and sneaky when she does not love a man anymore. She left Scott Foley in a heartbeat and did the same with Mike Vartan. She really got her karma back. I feel for the kids only and for Ben a but because he will be blamed endlessly for the end if this marriage. Jen won’t let her image gets destroyed. She lives by that.
Oh, please.
It wasn’t the 1950’s when Jennifer got pregnant with Violet.
Ben didn’t have to marry her, they were both adult people with some money in the bank, probably more than most people have when they have their first child.
Neither of them was a saint or is currently, she was divorced and he had a reputation known for drinking and skirt chasing long before they met.
Some people mentioned his relationship with JLo, the woman he was so into that he cheated on her with a stripper in Vancouver, Canada.
The wedding was called off, because of his womanizing.
I think Paltrow also talked about Ben being immature for a serious relantionship and liking strippers a bit too much.
Garner seems to me like a goody two shoes that believes that her love would transform Ben from the alcoholic, gambling addict guy going to rehab that he is and chasing strippers to a good father and a husband.
Even as going as far as having a third child, a boy he supposedly wanted and I even heard that he wanted a fourth child, but she didn’t.
Ben has been a serious mess for a long time, I don’t need to read about it anywhere.
Amen. As if she didn’t know about his many vices when she got pregnant, married him, and went on to have two more kids. FFS.
Maybe she wanted to believe he would change? What is wrong with that? Maybe he wanted 3 kids too?
“What’s wrong with that” is that people are not houses. You do not take them on as “fixer-uppers.” You need to be prepared to take them on as they are with all their flaws, because in he end, you cannot make someone else change. A person has to want to change. Ben Affleck clearly does not want to, has never wanted to, really. If Jennifer Garner thought otherwise, she was only fooling herself.
See, and that’s the belief and the notion that constantly gets women in trouble. “she wanted to believe he could change” do you see how many ifs are in that statement?? how is it appropriate to bring MULTIPLE children into this world in that kind of scenario?? I will never ever understand this line of thinking. Ever. No amount of wishes or babies can make someone who doesnt want to chaneg, change.
Izzy – YUP!
Believed he would change, give me a break. In other words, she believed SHE would change him which basically makes it an ego trip for her. I’m so sick of women starting families with cheating lying idiots and then having another kid and another one, then crying when they’re left all alone drowning in diapers cause surpirse surprise, he didn’t give a sh!t about her.
Qwerty:
I agree.
Sadly it looks a vicious circle which never ends…
I’d be controlling too if I had to look after a man-child…I wondered how long it would take for the blame to fall at Jen’s feet.
I’m not comfortable with the speculation surrounding Samuel, hope he doesn’t read about it when he’s older.
So if he was a man child why did she leave her boyfriend for him please Jen is not some innocent victim here she got the man she wanted she should accept her fate and stop playing victim
Or proceed to have three children
I recall how unhappy she looked after her second baby. I think something was also going on then. She was so happy after baby #1; it was a marked contrast.
That’s when he filmed The Town with Blake Lively.
Sooo what did Jenny do? Go on and have another child. Smh
It’s not like Jen had the baby all by herself. I doubt she STOLE HIS SPERM.
It took two to tango
Being a band aid baby isn’t the worst label in the world. If you do your job and re-ignite the marriage then hurray and if the opposite happens, it depends how the parents go on to treat you. If they blame you for prolonging their misery, for failing in your purpose, then they are shitty people.
Signed
Band aid baby
Interesting perspective, LAK. Never thought about it that way before.
I was a band aid baby. Openly discussed by all the grown ups around me as I grew up. Failed in my purpose. My dad handled it well. My mother never forgave me.
I also have a couple of friends who were band aid babies with mixed results. We discussed it often and decided it depended on the toxiicty (or not) of the relationship you were meant to save.
We thought anchor babies had a much tougher job than us band aid babies. How many times do you hear people, Ben and Jen included, getting married or staying in a relationship because the previously childless couple are unexpectedly pregnant….eeek. There is recipe for resentment and entrapment.
Yep, I am an anchor baby and when the divorce came down, my mother took a lot of it out on me, related to her regrets. I’m over it now, but boy, was it a rude awakening…
In this case, he is being talked in a negative light by the public and it is on the internet. Someday, he will be called by a stranger as such because they read it here. Hopefully, he will be mentally strong when that day comes.
As a “Band aid baby” myself, I agree with you too. However, I feel for Sam for the reason Nancy pointed out. He will grow up and hear/read a different version of events from strangers. And it is a negative version…
As written above, my family is similar and, I see, fairly common in this regard. It’s not the worst thing in the world! I mean, my parents did the best they could, and we turned out okay…I think?
Anyway, now as an adult, I see how hard these so-called “choices” are in that sometimes they’re not choices at all as circumstances prevail. We take chances in marrying someone (or not) and starting a family (or not). Sorry to sound morbid – but the only certainty in life is death.
Band aid baby? That’s not so bad. I was a mistake and years later when I made contact with my father he told me he was surprised to hear from because he and my mother had decided to abort me but had left it to late. Anywho, I’ve managed to live up to my label and make plenty of mistakes.
I hope you are kidding. If not, please don’t refer to yourself as a mistake. You are here because you were meant to be and from your various posts you sound like a great person.
I was a mistake too, and given up for adoption. Interesting…it kind of makes me feel like I was supposed to be born, against all wishes, and that I have important things to do here. I try to live up to that directive from the Universe.
I was one too, my parents lasted until I was 16. The trouble was they split and being the only kid at home I ended up nursing my mother through the breakdown she had. My mum ended up going to stay with a friend for a couple of months and I stayed home and looked after the house.
I had a great childhood though, I just feel sad my parents stayed in a bad marriage for so many extra years.
This whole thing makes me want to barf. The excessive PR from both sides is just nauseating. As is Jen’s “Put-upon, doe-eyed saint” routine. Ugh. While Ben is certainly no angel, she knew full well what she was getting when she went after him. He’d already had one trip through rehab, was a well-known gambler, and got busted with strippers while engaged to Jennifer Lopez – something well-documented and known BY EVERYONE. Anyone with a brain could see he was NOT marriage material. However, I firmly believe (and it’s been in the press too) she’s a climber of the first order, and she saw an opportunity when she worked with him on Daredevil (having selected him before that). His career was hurting then, but he was still a big star and she wanted a project. She got pregnant, and they got married. And surprise, 10 years and three kids later, it didn’t work out with the alcoholic gambling addict. And somehow she’s managed to craft an image now of Jen, Patron Saint of Mini-Vans. Blech.
Can someone tell me how Garner “went after” Affleck? There is no snark intended in this question, I’m honestly perplexed. On every post about their divorce so far, this comes up. I know she fell for him, but didn’t he also fall for her? And if they met on set, how does anyone know she pursued him and not that they both pursued each other? Even if garner was married to someone else, wasn’t affleck in a relationship with Jlo also? This phrase “went after” comes up so much I feel like I’m missing something.
Okay, here we go. She met Scott Foley (Hub #1) on the set of Felicity in 1998. They married in 2000. Then she started Alias in 2001, working with Michael Vartan. That same year, she met Ben the first time on Pearl Harbour. That would have been his post-GOOP, pre-JLo time. Then, Jen and Scott split in March 2003, and she went straight into a relationship with Vartan. 2003 was the year she did Daredevil with Ben, and she and Ben went public in Oct 2004. In the time after she split with Scott and took up with Vartan and then Affleck, Scott was quoted in the media saying something about “good luck to that guy” when she got married. I wish I had the time to dig up. She and Ben went public in Oct 2004, and married in June 2005 when she was already 4 months pregnant.
Plus, Vulture has this awesome video from Dinner for Five, showing her absolutely goony over Ben back in 2003 when he was still with J.Lo. Watching it now, it’s pretty eye-opening.
OMG, I can’t believe I looked all that up. I think I may need to get a life. 😉
It was just a known thing that she had a huge crush on Ben while she was still with Vartan and the two were promoting Daredevil. You could just see it in the interviews.
http://www.etonline.com/news/152297_watch_a_married_jennifer_garner_flirt_with_an_engaged_ben_affleck_2003/
@Cindy
Its just his fanbase scampering for any possible story to save him. Jen wears her heart on her sleeve. So once upon a time they did the Jon Favreu show to promote their film and it was pretty clear the girl was smitten. The theory then goes that Jen got HERSELF pregnant, this part is unclear because I haven’t heard any rape allegations and last I checked, men have birth control options too. So since this was the year 1858, Ben was marched down the aisle by way of shotgun. He of course learnt to takeresponsibility for his penis and there were no more kids…..nope, JK. There are many plotholes of course like how he has managed to spend close to thirty sexually active years without impregnating anyone else, including his stripper pals. Or why his kids are spaced a perfect three years each. Could it be that they planned a family? Nope, she stole his sperm, that’s the only plausible explanation 😉
Ben may have that with Jlo at the time. But then the people talking about tht forget that Ben and Lopez started out as an affair too. Jlo who was married to Chris Judge when Ben started seeing her. The shade Chris threw at Jlo after Ben’s much publicized stripper orgy was epic btw, Google that)
Who said I am Team Ben? I am just pointing out Jen isn’t an innocent in this. She’s an architect for a lot of it. As for him, I think he’s a talented writer and director with a ton of demons and wandering dong that should have never gotten married and had 3 kids with someone he clearly didn’t love the way she loved him. Ben needs a trip to rehab that sticks and to never cross the threshold of a casino again. Jen needs to press off on her social climbing button, stop trotting the kids in front a camera while whining about paps, and find a guy who isn’t a fix-up project with one foot out the door. And both of them need to stop worrying about the PR in this (because besides us, who cares about this really) and focus on the kids.
Gah! Most irritating thing when people bring fandom into it. Such a cheap and lazy way to make a point.
First of all, is anyone on this site really a “fan” of Ben’s?
There are three people (including myself) who actually like the guy (wouldn’t call myself a “fan”) and everybody else thinks he’s a cheating ahole.
And FTR, I like BOTH Ben AND Jen, but they are not the characters they play in movies, guys. They are REAL people (!) as complicated, multi-faceted and FLAWED as anyone else. Neither is all good, and neither is all bad so please stop with the one-dimensional archetypes. That’s not reality.
Why is it so hard for y’all to believe that a failed marriage could be due to a myriad of reasons that were caused by both parties?
I like Jen a lot but I do not for one second believe that she’s perfect. Did she love Ben? Unquestionably. But loving someone does not automatically ensure the success of a marriage, nor does it mean that the person you love is right for you.
People are so hell-bent on demonizing Ben and putting Jen on a pedestal that they lose all objectivity. Just be fair. If Ben’s relationship history is sketchy, then applying that same standard, Jen’s relationship history is sketchy as well, maybe even sketchier. People just choose to ignore that very real fact because it doesn’t jive with the narrative that Jen is a wonderfully loyal and loving woman and Ben is a gambling creeper.
@Kitten: I cringed watching this video… He looked uncomfortable when she was clearly flirting with him… “… to your comfort…”
Kitten, I’m ready to come out today as one of the three fans of Ben, and now an unabashed one at that…
Even after all the cringeworthy stuff he’s done, I like the guy’s work, especially since I think he’s finally found his groove, and I look forward to his career to come. Or maybe I’m focusing on the positive and hoping-against-hope that he doesn’t succumb to his “demons” because I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone, least of all someone with children and a bright future ahead of him.
This doesn’t mean that I’m taking sides here, just that I really have nothing more to say about Jen, their marriage or divorce, no matter how their PR is spinning it and exhausting us in the process.
It’s over. Moving on…
@kitten yes! Thank you. But I’m really totally over this wholePR blitz. Good god Ben and Jen it’s been a week but it’s felt like much longer. Stop this is exhausting.
@ Lurker –
Do you have any insight/info about Violet possibly not being Ben’s bio kid? I know that several other “candidates” were in the running, notably Aaron Eckhart. Violet defintely looks the least like Ben although she shares similar teeth (noticeable only before Ben got the veneers).
No need to get a life … this wonderful gossip is somehow an escape .. 🙂
Yeah, this is all pretty juicy gossip and it is a relief sometimes to escape. Thank god for all of you, so I have others who I can speculate with! That dinner for five video was very telling….she was gone on Ben from the start, I wonder if he ever felt the same degree of passion for her.
No Joan, I had never even heard that about the eldest child! I think all 3 are his. As much as I am not a Jen fan, I don’t see her being that level of devious.
I literally JUST told my cubemate that this divorce is providing me endless entertainment in a dark time…
LOL – he got veneers???!! Talk about vain. Does he get his chest hair waxed too?
Only the middle kid resembles him. Garner has strong genes.
Lurker pretty much nails it Battfleck is a royal jerk but Jenny G is a manipulator and no doe eyed innocent. She went after Affleck while she was still married to Scott Foley on the Daredevil set. There were plenty of rumors about it and the Dinner For Five video is proof of Jen’s designs on him way back when she was married to someone else. Vartan was basically a placeholder and once Affleck was free she chased him and locked him down.
Now I agree that it’s not 1950 and Affleck didn’t have to marry but that doesn’t absolve Jen. She’s manipulative, and an enabler and she went into that marriage with eyes open.
She’s no saint, and she’s a victim of her own self destructive choices just as much as Ben.
I’m totally Team kids
YUP!
*golf claps*
Yep. But I think Ben is exactly the kind of guy that would “do the right thing” and marry a woman carrying his child. Especially at that time, remember his career was kaput and his reputation was too after the Benifer fiasco. I think he tried to be that husband and father but the type of man he is, got bored and restless real fast. And I will duck my head before I say this, who accidentally gets pregnant in this day and age?? Really?? She went after him and won her prize, she got to be Mrs Affleck. Separate they are both average, together they were a power couple and charmed the throngs of fans who can’t get enough. And think about it, have you ever once seen him looking happy or at Jen and the kids with love? She looks at him with the adoring puppy eyes or is touching him, but never him. He always looked like a trapped squirrel that couldn’t wait til his family duty time was over so he could get out and play. He played the part in public but all the photos of them are as I said. Team kids too. And I truly think both will do right by the kids. She actually looks pregnant to me now. Ay yi yi.
Agree with everything u said. Garner and her team have for years promoted this good girl image and that all Ben needed was the good Jen not the trashy Latina. Ben needed garner for his public image that’s all the marriage was to him. Garner is no better than Ben when it comes to image and manipulating the truth. Team kids.
Very similar to “The Slow One” LardASShian (auto correct, and it stays!) and Lord Di(s)ick (the “S” is silent) situation. And with both men being very similar in nature, both women seem to be major witches!
All the possible cliches in one divorce: the controlling shrew, the controlled unhappy nice husband, the devoted saint of a wife exposed to infidelity and abuse, the heartless cheating jerk, the suffering all-forgiving mother, the suffering entrapped manipulated father and so on.
I think both of them have always been two image obssessed attention w#ores.
Lol, yes, I think that about covers it.
Agree completely. Both of these folks used each other and their children to build an image. Then for whatever reason or bad acting skills, Affleck could not hide it anymore. Those pap walks with smiling Jennifer and the children and sullen Ben were horrible. But both participated and both are equally guilty. Affleck has issues, but Ms. Garner with her “dimpled darling perfect wife mother who sacrificed everything for her marriage” persona is getting hard to bear as well.
They probably gave the early statement of the split after tabloid deadlines to be able to create all of these stories and back stories they knew People Mag would publish and then went to US mag to get another source. The whole thing is about PR manipulation and they seem to have it down. New or not so new stories virtually every few hours to keep them in the press. I would think they would want to stop them to protect their children, but these two seem to be about protecting themselves and their artificially built images.
I never had a strong opinion about either of them, but I am personally tired of Dimples and Grumpy drawing out this PR onslaught.
However, if kids were not involved, I would welcome a surprise pap photo of Vartan entering her home disguised as a handyman, or a heavily disguised woman with a suspiciously large derrière entering Ben’s hotel or wherever he is right now.
Celebitchy you’re not the only one. I am totally fascinated by this. The PR on this split is so coordinated… and so badly done. From the constant messages, to the weird trip to the Bahamas, the PR onslaught is just making it worse and worse. With these two (and especially with Ben’s gossip history) it was always going to make a splash if they broke up, and they should have just made a statement, battened down the hatches, and weathered the storm. But the more they try to control the message, the more it’s going to spin out of their control.
Hi Bridget! I think that people like us see the PR as OMG overkill and so awkward, but that it actually works for the general public, who aren’t bothering to peek behind the curtain. Do you know what I mean? I hear you about it seeming bad though.
I think there’s always going to be a subset that grab their People Magazine and don’t give it a thought beyond that, but this split is taking on a life of its own. We’re not just talking about casual movie fans and Jennifer Garner’s “mom contingent”, Ben is gearing up for Batman/Superman – there’s a huge internet gossip mill about the project to begin with, and now they’ve added this split to the mix. Plus, it seems like the more they try to control the message, all they’re doing is opening the door to dissenting messages and rumors.
I don’t see how this is supposed to “avoid additional digging. ” though. It’s not the naive minivan people who’ll do the didding but the tabloids.. and they now what’s up.
My point is, this constant, slow dribble of information is only serving to keep the story alive and the more they’re trying to force a narrative the more people dig otherwise. With Affleck’s history this was always going to be messy, and whoever is trying to contain the mess is doing a terrible job and seemingly making it worse. There was always going to be dirt on a split like this, and instead of going with it and letting the cycle pass as quickly as possible it’s like they’re trying to stop a rainstorm with a bucket.
@Bridget
I couldn’t agree more as I said before you ether feed the media beast or you let your actions speak for themselves, and Ben and Jen are choosing to feed the beat so.
Ben looked the same way with Jennifer Lopez. That faraway look means he already checked out of the relationship.
Yep. People make it sound like poor Ben would’ve been so happy if that “frumpy image obsessed shrew didn’t nag him to death, let alone trap him with a baby” but I just don’t buy he’s going to be happy with anyone else either. Not even a sex bomb like JLo. Not until he works out his issues.
But I think she’ll have no problem finding happiness with a stable guy that will be a good father for her kids. Maybe a Jim Toth type. I’ll be curious to see how he reacts to another man playing more of a father role than he currently does.
That’s not true for year JLO was fetched as the famewhore who almost ruined poor Ben career. All Ben ever needed was a good “down to earth” saint of a wife like Jen to fix him. As they will usescto say Ben choose the “right” Jen.
IMO Jen is the most niave celebrity I have ever met she needs a dating coach asap.She is completely clueless about love.Love aint hard work and infatuation is all about image projection rather than genuine love for the other person.Please someone needs to sit her down and tell her the hard truth.
Naive and Jennifer Garner don’t go together… If there is one thing she cannot be called is naive…
I remember when people used to say ‘oh here they are on their latest pap walk’, I always thought that was so cynical because I genuinely believed they were just being followed doing their thing. Obviously I was wrong, why this big sell of their relationship and family image? Especially when it was so bad. If you’re going to sell that then you know that’s going to be huge interest when all goes wrong. Maybe that was the point?
I guess we’ll see which one if not both was driving that over the next year by who’s still doing pap walks, eh?
Ben always looked like he wanted to shoot himself when he was around her and he always looks like he wants to strangle the paps so I’m suspecting that it’s Jennifer selling the mommy image, she’s definitely winning the sympathy vote. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a bit of Amy Dunne in her, maybe that’s why he looks so trapped.
I think he is doing this on purpose. There are instances that he intentionally embarrasses her and this is one of them. I don’t know why she put up with that.
Masochism is my vote.
With Samuel, though, they looked happy during her pregnancy and especially after, yes, even Ben. I think that was a good period for them. He was ecstatic he was having a boy. I mean, after she had him, he wanted a fourth. He was all in again for a while. Having a third threw her for a loop. She said she was in a haze for five months with three kids, one a newborn. I remember her on Conan I think it was saying Ben wanted a fourth, but, nope, three was enough for her. She was done. She knows she’s the one raising them. That interview was just about five months after the birth of Sam. By the time he was a year old, Ben seemed checked out again..
Samuel was born in 2012, and Argo came out later that year. I’m sure that’s why both BA and JG looked happy, it was a productive time for both of them.
But after that I think Ben just wanted out. Either he was being passive/aggressive and acting like a sh*t so that she would divorce him, or maybe he did say he wanted out and she wouldn’t let him go.
I’m fairly sure the happy family pap walks were her idea because he looked miserable.
Whatever. Their kids are better off. There’s plenty of money so that they can co-parent efficiently,
The part I don’t understand is, why try to demolish their father’s image? They have plenty of money, yet right now, Ben is the one who is continuing to make the bigger paychecks (I assume he’s pulling in more than Jen’s endorsements, but could be wrong). The kids ultimately benefit from that, unless we truly believe he is going to fritter away every cent (which I am not buying).
I agree with the poster in this or the other thread (getting the daily doses of dirty laundry mixed up now) who believes this is awfully done PR.
It is no surprise they split up, really, so why not look out for your kids and keep details to a minimum. The old standby ‘irreconcilable differences’ or whatever, and let a new gossip wave wash away the interest in a few days or weeks.
Christin, I agree. They obviously have dueling PR camps and it is turning into a mess.
These Bahamas post-split photos are gross. They both need to stop it.
@minx – I agree they both need to back off this onslaught. Every single article will be on the web for years, for those kids to read.
I did not pay a lot of attention to these two until those Argo-era pap walks.
Yes but who knows if that was her trying to give the perfect family image. Have you ever heard him say that he wanted another kid? And don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he loves his kids and was over the moon to have a boy, but he never looked like he wanted the family life or everyday responsibilities.
I remember either just before they had Samuel or after she said that Ben wanted another baby.
This is why I hate when people say they are doing this or that for the children. Just because it makes children have a job they shouldn’t have. Children should not have to have the weight of a marriage on their tiny shoulders. So this is saying that baby Samuel was born with the JOB of holding this marriage together or making it OK.. NO NO NO..
I’m still really sad about this separation. I thought they would be one of the Hollywood couple’s to make it last, being that they have three children. Looking back on it, certain things that he said, especially the “marriage is work” comment while accepting an Oscar (which was totally random) were uh oh moments. I was talking about their split with my Mom, and she put a lot of the blame of Garner, saying she took the Mom role way to seriously which I can see, but at the same time I’m not going to fault her for wanting to be a very hands on parent.
I don’t know. I have feels.
Affleck has the material to be a good father but he has no husband material .He is too egocentric
I love to read about celeb gossip as much as anyone-heck, Celebitchy is the first thing I check every morning. However, this whole story is feeling very sordid to me right now. Yes, the couple is putting everything out there for the public to smack their lips on, but, I am feeling very voyeuristic at the moment. IDK. Something about the words “band-aid baby” and that child someday seeing that in print…blech. Again, I know that JG and BA are putting this all out there themselves, but, I just feel like I am peeking into someone’s bedroom. I may need a break.
I agree with the post above that said he looked miserable after their second child. I remember all the pics after that one seemed extremely tense and unhappy. And it’s nonsurprise or secret about the third. Let me be clear – I fully believe BOTH of them love their children more than anything! So, this has nothing to do with the actual kids. I just think Ben seemed “done” with the marriag by the second one, and I think when they had the third, he was very happy about the baby, but still not necessarily the marriage. No matter what the rags are spinning, the narrative for me is always going to be, she knew he was a bad boy going in, she built a life knowingly with this man, through all of these alleged indiscretions and vices. I’m not saying she’s a bad person. I’m just saying I still don’t believe she truly ended this marriage. I view her like a politician’s wife, and I believe the story that she didn’t want to go ahead with and announce the divorce. Of course I feel terrible for the kids, but again, I think she would have stayed until the end of time if she had her way.
They were happy the 5 first years of their marriage .After they stayed together for the kids.
In France,the half of the divorces are before the 5 years of marriage
I always got the vibe that she loved him, more than he loved her. But didn’t she cheat with Ben when she married to MV?
Get your facts right! She wasn’t married to MV. LOL!
MV was not the husband. SF was.
Hard to believe that carousel of relationships was 12 or so years ago.
Thanks for filling me in. I wasn’t sure who it was but I remembered hearing that story years ago.
This reminds me of Jennifer’s buddy Reese Witherspoon’s attempts to tame a “bad boy” with kids and the appearance of domestic bliss. It might work in the short run….but not in the long run. Hopefully JG will pull a Reese and marry a stable family guy for round three.
Honestly, I can’t understand why some women turn on each other, as some have on Garner since the divorce announcement.
Affleck didn’t have to marry Garner when she got pregnant with his child, she didn’t entrap him,
it wasn’t 1952.
Both of them were no saints when they got involved with each other, she was getting divorced and he was a known addict that went to rehab, chased strippers when engaged to JLo.
Affleck and the his hot Latina fiancé JLo called off their wedding, because of him having too much fun with a stripper in Canada.
Affleck has been a pretty hot mess for a long time, one just needs to look back in his past with Paltrow and JLo.
I think Jen G. was crazy about her husband and put up with a lot.
J-Lo had a big Dateline (think it was interview with her and Ben all happeee to counteract the stripper thing. She was going nowhere. The wedding was still on. The wedding came closer. Ben called off the wedding to J-LO five days before. She wanted to be married to him. She hung on after the wedding cancellation, while he continued to pull his passive aggressive behavior, hoping she would finally end it, so he wouldn’t have to say the words. She didn’t. When he refused to come to some big New Year’s Eve party she was throwing, she finally had to admit it was over and announced it. She married Mark within months to save face.
Ben probably was hoping this Jen would leave him sooner also by his withdrawing, but she hung on also.
The power of the Batfleck. LOL He must have some skills in bed, to keep them hanging on longer than they should. His nude side shot of a certain area was impressive.
“He must have some skills in bed, to keep them hanging on longer than they should.”
WAY longer than they should!
I honestly believe this may be the best explanation. Sadly, men skilled in that department are so rare that many women will put up with just about anything from them in other areas.
Exactly, Jayna. J. Lo was wild for him–the song lyrics on her “This Is Me…Then” album were absolutely smitten–and Garner has always seemed equally infatuated with him to me. The man has game of some kind. Women fall for him–not just lust, but a kind of starry-eyed romantic adoration.
The other story that came up in all this was how assiduously he pursued J. Lo when she was married to Criss Judd. He took out a trade paper ad gushing about her and then brought her a bouquet at the opening of Madre’s…right in front of Cris. When he wants a woman, he is pretty determined and shameless. It makes me wonder how much he pursued Garner at first? A little? A lot?
(Anyone who wants support for the Blake Lively rumors should go read the interview they did together–he gushed about her, too!)
See: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,628191,00.html
J. Lo looked fantastic at Madre’s opening. So beautiful:
http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/91654972.html?page=6
This is a photo of Ben & Jen in their “first appearance as a couple” at the World Series. Both look lovey-dovey: http://www.popsugar.com/celebrity/photo-gallery/30862922/image/30867840/Ben-Jennifer-nuzzled-stands-October-2004-World
Ben likes the chase. Then is ready for the next one.
I agree with you that women shouldn’t turn on each other, especially in tough times. I think the vitriol people feel toward Garner is based on her efforts to play the perfect wife, mom, the pap strolls, etc. Not that I agree with all the hate, but I myself am more of a “what you see is what you get” kind of blunt chick and the people that try to fake like everything is perfect….celebrity or not…kind of make me want to barf. But I know I am in the minority that way.
WORD to this entire comment, esp. the last two sentences.
Often, the people acting like they have the most perfect life have the biggest messes behind closed doors. Just based on life observations…
Well there are women tearing her down and there are some of us that remember what went down years ago and have never bought her PR. I think it’s just as sexist to build her up as a sainted paragon because that just glorifies sexist tropes.
I agree but that’s the image she been selling for the last 10 years.
Yes, and I remember multiple quotes from her about Ben being the “tall dark and handsome” dreamboat.
Having known so many couples over the years and observed many marriages close up, my own included, here is my opinion. Ben and Jen may be the very best of friends but were a hideously bad married couple. Until you are in a marriage, there is no way to know if one will work, no matter how much you both try.
I like this.
Does anyone else resent the fact that these people knew they had a crap marriage yet spent years selling themselves as the perfect family? I get that this is Hollywood and that’s part of the gig (…or is it…) but they paraded their children over and over around town as part of the big sell, too.
There are plenty of Anais Nin quotes that would probably sum up Jen and Ben 2.0 perfectly; I’ll go with this one:
“We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire; often against reality, against their benefit. And always in the end a disappointment, because it does not fit them”
Jen was trying to make Ben something he wasn’t. Ben was probably in love with the idea of Jen and family and kids.
Honestly I am totally over the whitewashing of details. I just want the dirty now…. Names of who he cheated with and timeframes. That’s the only reason I hang on reading posts about them anymore. I feel terrible for the kids but now it’s on the adults to protect them from the celebrity vulture culture. As a bystander who has no skin in the game… I want to read some real examples of his terrible behavior
Same lol. I want the dirt on her too. As much or as there has been you better believe they both have plenty.
PR not or.
Scoop he is getting back with JLo when everything dies down that is the true reason for their divorceDont believe me check their twitter accounts they are both sending each other subtle messages.Mark my words I put my money where my mouth is
“Backburnered her career??” I beg to differ. This statement implies that she more or less took an extended maternity leave, slipped out of sight and took on minimal projects which is not true.
Sure the movies she chose were mainly stinkers – remember Ghosts of Girlfriends Past? The Kingdom, the list goes on – but she made plenty and continued with her various endorsement deals and philanthropic work (Save the Children). It’s like she’s making excuses for not being a “Cate Blanchett” or “Nicole Kidman” calibre actress. Oh, I put my career on the back burner so that’s why I don’t have the same body of work as an A-list actress. No, you just weren’t selected for the meaty, Oscar worthy roles.
no comment
Yep…that last baby sure made up for a strange he was trollin’ didn’t it…but it made people stop talking about the naked Blake Lively pics. I still think Jen was the one that leaked those.
She def leaked them. Remember the black eye he had lol. Bet Blake/Ryan. Are. Divorced within a year. I see Affleck with Blake more than Jlo.
It’s easy to write stories based on the pictures. I think the ones where Ben looks angry or uninterested sell more papers and that why we see them more often. Pictures of him constantly smiling, wouldn’t sell as many copies probably, but I bet they exist.
I don’t have a bone to pick in this fight. I do wish the best for the kids!
Or he just doesn’t smile that often when out with Jen or the kids. He was smiling big time during his Oscar campaign and the pictures were every we’re.
I think it’s really disgusting to label a child a band aide baby. I think it’s even more disgusting that a women have no issue labeling and repeating such harsh things about an innocent child. I swear the women who write for this sight can be heartless and arrogant.
He’s aged a lot and badly in 5 years. That is normal for the regular Joe or Jane, but as a millionaire he should not look that much worse. It must be his extracurricular activities have caught up with him.
I’ve said this several times in the last few weeks, but I recommend people to search through Celebitchy’s archives to Ben and Jen stories in 2010. All of the signs were there. Rumors about marital problems and infidelity were there in 2010. Then she had Samuel and I remember everything sounding really great because Ben finally got the boy he wanted.
As we all know, bandaid babies rarely work to solve major problems in a marriage and they were having some really major problems. Babies can bring a couple closer together who wants to make things work. But it won’t help a man with a wandering dong and alcohol (possibly drug?!) problems want to turn into a family man.
Samuel Affleck is adorable! In spite of their issues, I’m sure they both feel blessed to have him.
I agree. I think he is a much loved and much wanted baby by both Ben and Jen.
If I’m not mistaken, 2010 is also the year “The Town” came out, which co-starred Ben’s purported Side-Piece-Who-Became-Something-More, Blake Lively. So in light of that, his demeanor in those pics makes perfect sense.
I’m not so sure Ben was the only one cheating. Their son looks a whole lot like Matt Damon. I’m just saying.
Well , there was a blind item several months ago that seemed to be about Jennifer and Matt having gotten together during both their marriages. Now there’s one about her and Jason Bateman, of all people.
Guys cant u see it heis eventually getting back with JLo end of story.He needs to cover this up because he does not need to have a worst rep than he already has check their twitter accounts n u will get the whole picture Jen is waiting for him while with Casper it is so obvious from her tweet on happiness to her tweet on nothing is is black and white to her dressi.g like Angelina Jolie to her novel how he broke her heart to him whispering in her ear at the globes.They are smart they are strategically trying to get back together wi
JLo would be a fool to take BA back after he humiliated her by sleeping with a call girl while they were engaged, and call off the wedding just before the wedding day. The woman Ben had the affair with told of the affair in one of the weekly rag by taking a lie detector test. She told that he gave her O- ral, the first night. I also remember when JLo and Ben got together she was married to that other dancer guy and BA totally disrespected Chris Judd by sending JLo flowers. Ben and JLo rubben their affair into her husband’s face. I know JLo is very attractive but she is not the best at picking men. Also, she always has a lap over in men. Ben and JLo would be great for gossip and great for waiting to see the disaster they leave in their next in their path in the end.
Looking at things from from your perspective you have a point but when you look at things from JLo’s perspective everything is not black and white.She dated Diddy he cheated Marc Anthoy was not happily married to her and now her toy boy Casper Smart who is average in the looks department allegedly cheated on her too.She must have reached that point were she is thinking I like thisguy he likes me we made mistakes lets start all over and see.Do not forget she did that with Marc Anthony and Casper Smart why not Ben Affleck.Clearly anyone who has a bit of instincts knows he divorced because of her.Yes he was in a crappy marriage but he was going to stay there if she had not written the book true love.Rumour has it that is the real reason and only reason for this divorce.That is why there have been tons of stories to distract the public from the truth so that first ofno one is humiliated secondly no one is labeled the bad guy and thirdly origi.al Bennifer can get back together without drama.All their pr people are working like hell to pull this stuff together.That is the real scoop
@Daphne, you are dreaming. You think he’s divorcing because of J-Lo? Lol. Ben has a lot of hot new things he’s worked with in the actress department and more to put in his movies. He loves the newness of it all, the intoxication of crushing on someone new that he can become obsessed with, not some ex-girlfriend he left at the altar who has two kids she is devoted to. He wants someone footlloose and fancy free to fit into his busy schedule and life right now, not that he has to also fit into their life. He’s worked with some beauties in the last ten years. The guy is not pining for J-Lo. He loves the chase. He’s lusting after all the new women out there he can finally indulge in without hiding. He might hook up with Jennifer for a nice romp in the bed, but that’s about it.
without causing an uproar tbey will make it seem like it was after the divorce that they decided to reunite the truth he never really got over JLo and niether did she when her divorce imploded she wanted hom back because she still loved him andshe knew there was still something there on his side.Why say they almost broke up in 2010 to save himself and JLo.But want another shot but defo remember the first fiasco so they are trying to do it intelligently and without hurting noones feelings aka Jennifer Garner
This might seem far too dull for a gossip site but maybe just maybe NEITHER of them is at fault and NEITHER is evil. Maybe they were two people who fell in love, had some kids but in the end became/realised they always were people who wanted different things and decided to split?
I am starting to find Affleck fascinating (not attractive).
He is a lesson for all the people out there that think they know it all and can get everything and everyone they want by sheer will power and apply this force in an unhealthy manner. Guess what? No one controls shit. Everyone is damaged, but some are in more visible ways.
There is a theory that certain people appeal certain facets of our personalities and that is how they become our lovers, friends or enemies. It depends what triggers they pull in us.
Affleck is a magnet for women that appear in total control, determined, go-getters (Paltrow, J-Lo, Jennifer Garner may not be a professional go getter but she definitely went after and got the men she wanted), he shows up in their lives, he gives them the impression that they are even in control of him (when you see his idiot face how can you not believe that story?) and then he slowly reveals to them that they are in control of shit.
Don’t get me wrong, I support determined men and women that act accordingly. But when you are truly in control you chose a partner that is strong on his/ her feet, that matches your strength, you don’t chose someone that is evidently damaged in order to fix him/ her, like Affleck or Casper or Chris Martin ( a less talented and more simple alternative to Affleck). Damaged people are more powerful than anyone thinks, because if they are still alive it means they know how to survive their own dark side. People that appear in control, trying to ‘heal’/ manipulate others that LOOK less in control are delusional about their own power.
Garner needed 10 years and 3 children to get the message she is in control of shit and still, I don’t think she got it.
Never ever trust a man whos eyes wander when you kiss.
http://images.latinospost.com/data/images/full/38721/jennifer-lopez-and-ben-affleck.jpg?w=560 With JLo
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/41/b2/83/41b283baa443f5c72af108d5dabd54b0.jpg With Goop
Your theory fits
Just saw a piece on this on another website where they declare “Ben’s babysitting the kids” this weekend.
For the love of god, people, it’s NOT BABYSITTING when it’s YOUR OWN KIDS. I get sick of tabloids using that phrase when taking photos of men with their children.
End rant.
Watch out for original Bennifer 2016
In Ben I see someone who is hopping from one thing to the next-whether it’s gambling, booze, women, work projects to make whatever pain he is in go away. Actually, I sometimes wonder if he’s even entirely conscious of his pain or insecurity or emptiness or whatever you want to call it (it may be all those things, too). It’s written all over his face and either he’s not recognizing it or in denial to the detriment of his family.
Someone in this state cannot be present for their loved ones because there is always something else (addictions, etc.) around the corner they’re on their way to and they’re looking in that direction. I’m not defending Ben, just stating my assumptions/observations. I think maybe he tried to convince himself he wanted/needed a wife and family, but just couldn’t seem to handle all that comes with it because his inner voices are more of a priority and seem to have been for most (?) of his life. He’s been answering those voices it seems for so many years that I can’t imagine how difficult it will be to stop listening 🙁
My hope is that the children and Jennifer can work on having as healthy a relationship as possible with their damaged father/ex-husband in the coming years or else the pain will never heal.