Kristen Stewart pretends to be Tiger Woods while golfing & she’s instantly better

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Here are some photos of Kristen Stewart leaving Los Angeles via LAX on Sunday. Once again, it’s sort of weird to me that Kristen is suddenly not traveling with Alicia Cargile. Alicia and Kristen were joined at the hip for months, then Kristen’s mom sort of outed her daughter (maybe) and ever since, Kristen has been avoiding going out in public with Alicia. Is there something there? I don’t know. I’m just passing on information gathered from paparazzi photos. Also: note that Kristen is carrying a guitar case in these photos. It totally means that she’s trying to learn to play the guitar just like Robert Pattinson because Robsten Forever. Obvs.

Speaking of guitars and such, some additional quotes from Kristen’s Marie Claire profile have come out, and she talks about music, golf and dancing. Some highlights:

Golfing: “I feel like that’s the only way that I’m good at anything. I’m a pretty good golfer. I just do the best impression of Tiger Woods that I can, and all of a sudden, my swing is dead straight.”

Music: “I play guitar and the drums, but I haven’t combined the whole poetry and music thing. I think I’m just intimidated, and if I don’t do something really well, I don’t want to do it.”

Dance: “I am so envious of people who dance. I was in a drag bar in Seoul with (French actress) Isabelle Huppert, who danced. I didn’t. and I was like, ‘Get you’re a** up. Dance.’ I just couldn’t.”

[From Business Insider]

I think the Tiger Woods thing is a funny story for an actress – pretending to be someone good at a particular sport will make you better at the sport? Sure. And we’ve gotten a pretty good idea of how Kristen spends her down time in the past year. She golfs. She plays lyric-less music. She doesn’t dance. She makes short films that are like poems about water.

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Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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69 Responses to “Kristen Stewart pretends to be Tiger Woods while golfing & she’s instantly better”

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  1. OSTONE says:

    The guitar case is hiding the two kids she secretly has with Sparkles. They were taking them to Disneyland. And she can’t dance because she is secretly pregnant with their third kid. <- regular day for a twihard.

    • Luca76 says:

      Lol

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Ha!

    • Lara Morgana says:

      Been reading the rants over at HKN website have you? Those people are totally whacked out of their heads. They worship at the altar of Rob/Kris and their two young daughters, Sweet Pea and Jelly Bean. It’s actually rather frightening to read some of the stuff they come up with and realize just how many lunatics there are amongst us.

    • Anne tommy says:

      Tiger woods hasn’t won a major for six years and is in a total slump, she’d be better off pretending to be somebody else…

    • Dee says:

      Actually, it’s Alicia hiding in the guitar case and Kstew is affectionately carrying a spare jacket for her.

    • Liberty says:

      Anne tommy, it would appear that this is as all a strange almost miraculous coincidence, because Tiger has been pretending to be KStew.

  2. Amanda says:

    LMAO

  3. Luca76 says:

    She’s entitled to a private life for sure. It’s sort of interesting though how she loves to proclaim her bad-assery but has more than likely hidden Alicia away. She very clearly cares what the public thinks.

    • Truthful says:

      Not stating is not hiding at all. Her position regarding Alicia is not about hiding at all, she just lives her lives without making any big statement or fuss about it. The way it should be, because not straight actor/ress goes around shouting ” I am straight”. No need to state.

      • Goats on the Roof says:

        Kristen doesn’t have to say one way or the other, but I get the feeling she is hiding Alicia for now. Prior to her mom’s maybe-interview, they were papped together almost daily, being affectionate, wearing each other’s clothing. And now…crickets. Either they’ve split or Kristen is deliberately keeping things low-key. Probably more of her “Keep them guessing” type bullshit, if you ask me.

      • Div says:

        @Goats on the Roof
        I always thought the keep them guessing thing was a sarcastic quip about the fairly obvious pr-romance during Twilight, because both of them were clearly just going through the motions by the end of that series.

        I wrote about it below, but I feel like it’s probably more that the paps wanted photos of Alicia and Kristen so they could “officially” out them even though she was in a glass closet. Once the information about her bisexuality was out though, the value plummets because there is no mystery. She was holding hand with her, so it’s not like she was hiding before so it would be bizarre to walk back in the closet. Plus, it may be the girlfriend who resented the mom outing their relationship considering how nasty some people were about her looks, etc and we all know how batshit crazy the twi-hards can be….if I was the gf I’d want to keep it low key as possible if my famous gf was just outed as bi by her own mom.

      • Luca76 says:

        There are still sightings of them together but she’s not photographed with her. That’s why I say she’s hiding her. It seems to me she was willing to be shot with her when there was a glass closet and any articles about them would call Alicia her ‘galpal’ etc. From now on if they are shot together the Mirror article (which was never taken down) can be brought up and she has a film coming out soon. To an extent she’s ‘inning’ herself which is her choice, but she’s doing it.

      • G says:

        Kristen was never in the closet. Society just labeled her as straight because she had been in relationships with guys. Just because Kristen doesn’t talk about her personal life doesn’t mean she is hiding anything . …. And LOL at claiming she is ‘hiding’ Alicia. Um, hello, Alicia, is a human being with a life of her own and a good job. She cannot be ‘hidden’.

      • Jessica Fletcher says:

        @G, yeah she keeps her private life private…when it suits her. When she feels like it, she’s happy to talk about armpit licking, and issue statements saying “…I love him, I love him, I love him…”

      • G says:

        @Jessica Issuing that statement wasn’t a any normal old interview. To say so is being purposefully narrow-minded. It was a big scandal and she made a choice to apologize. I guess in your mind it meant that she wants everything in her private life made public forever more. Whatever.

      • Jessica Fletcher says:

        @G, I didn’t say it was an interview. I said it was a statement. Which she chose to release. She could have released a statement saying she apologises, and asking for privacy, but instead she talked about her private life.

        Also, I never said that everything in her private life must be made public forevermore, I just said she keeps her private life private when it suits her. When she feels like it, or when it benefits her, she’s happy to talk about it.

        But, yeah, okay, whatever.

    • Dubois says:

      It’s more than likely her PR people are calling the shots. Sure she can choose to stand up against them, but most Hollywood types put career first and toe the line. Their images are very managed and very little is deliberate. She’s made it obvious that she is with Alicia, there’s no inning once you’re out – we all have Google. She has a movie coming out and for whatever reason her flack has probably nixed the pap strolls. Kristen’s image, outings, pap strolls etc are as managed and controlled as Taylor Swift’s. She’s a commodity. On the other hand, Alicia may be sick of the sh*t and wants a private life.

      • Luca76 says:

        Definitely she’s listening to her PR people. Which is her choice but it’s hypocritical considering how much she talks about not giving a f*** and being a bad ass.
        As for inning she may be rumored to be as obviously in a relationship with Alicia but as long as she doesn’t acknowledge it she will be closeted to the mainstream public. She definitely inned herself.

      • G says:

        What will you say when she is papped with Alicia again? That she has ‘outed’ herself again? #eyeroll. Kristen had an oscar nominated movie released just weeks after she was papped hiding hands with Alicia at LAX. Funny how her PR team didn’t ‘advise’ her to hide her relationship then? Your theory is baseless.

      • Jessie says:

        Exactly, G. For crying out loud, those coffee run pics in December/January were right in the middle of the (half-assed) campaign for Still Alice. Her PR people had no problem with Alicia then, even after there were pics of them cuddling and kissing in Hawaii.

      • Luca76 says:

        Did you happen to see Rob Shusters piece a few weeks back about paparazzi? Most of the time celebrities (or their teams) are contacting the paps themselves telling the photogs exact times and places to find them. The fact that she was regularly getting papped with her girlfriend ‘running errands’ , then after being (allegedly) outed by her mom hasn’t been papped, despite sightings is pretty strong evidence that she doesn’t want to be photographed with her and officially be out right now which is her right. I’m not attacking her by stating that she like many other celebrities does photo-ops and manages her image through the PR people she pays millions a year to. The article in the Mirror obviously changed her PR strategy. She’s also doing many print articles and instead of addressing her personal life is talking about her hair length and golf-that’s not being out.
        Also Still Alice was a prestige project where she was supporting Julianne Moore’s Oscar run. It’s a totally different type of movie then her new one a stoner comedy where she’s the love interest and main box office draw. Her being out officially could definitely affect the film.
        Anyway if you are interested in what it means to be a closeted actor vs out listen to interviews from actors that have come out and what that means.

      • Jessie says:

        On your point concerning her print interviews, she NEVER gets too personal. I know people will bring up times she alluded to Rob as her bf in the past, but seriously, those were 1) the exception, not the rule, and 2) YEARS ago at this point. She has done tons of print interviews over the last 3 years and she never gets too personal. Any time she discusses her private life,  she talks about mundane things, like playing instruments or golf or cooking or her dogs.  Or she is just vague and very general, like when she said you don’t control who you fall in love with, or recently discussing what she finds attractive in a person.

        As for pap pics, are you suggesting that she called the paps dozens of times back in December and January specifically so that she could be seen out and about with Alicia, and that she intentionally put on a PDA show for them at times, but now, 6 months later, she refuses to? All because her mom confirmed what everyone already knew? Sony Pictures Classics DID have a small campaign for her for supporting actress, not just as support for Julianne’s Oscar, there was a whole exclusive with The Hollywood Reporter with the SPC chief.  So I don’t really understand the line of thinking that she set up tons of pap pics specifically with her girlfriend, with PDA, in the middle of an Oscar campaign (yes, it was small and she barely went to any events), but that she is intentionally doing a 180 just a few months later. 

        I don’t get relating this to American Ultra either.  Yes, she plays Jesse Eisenberg’s girlfriend. But the target audience for this movie doesn’t give a crap about who she’s dating. The box office doesn’t hinge on the romance. It’s being sold from two angles: the stoner comedy angle and the action angle.   The studio for Paper Towns (Fox?) had no issue with Cara being so open about her girlfriend and her sexuality for a movie targeted at teenage girls where selling the love aspect certainly is a big part of the box office ploy, so I don’t understand why Lionsgate would be any different, if Kristen had wanted to be open about Alicia, for a movie that does not depend on the romance and isn’t being targeted to the type of audience that would eat it up.

        I’ll reiterate what I said below: she hasn’t been papped with the same frequency as she used to for MONTHS now, even before her mother’s interview.  And since then, she’s papped at airports or coming and going from the Chanel boutique in Paris, etc. Once on the set of a photoshoot in LA.  It’s not like she’s being papped constantly with other people or alone getting coffee.  The pap shots have drastically been cut down for months now, with and without Alicia.

      • G says:

        Anyone who thinks Kristen calls paparazzi to catch her getting coffee every day is insane. And if her team were doing it they would be fired. She has no need for extra attention. She gets plenty of it just being who she is and is clearly uncomfortable with it. The ones who call paps are the ones who look like they just left a photoshoot and a teeth cleaning session, not like they crawled out of bed and grabbed the first thing to hand! Do you really think that somebody who has been targeted by paps like she has, and who tells them to ‘fk off’ on the regular , actually wants them waiting for her when she leaves the house? No way. Anybody who thinks this just wants to dislike her. Her photos just make money, and if there is no story to go with the photos tabloids make it up. She doesn’t even go clubbing or really hang out with anybody famous. When was the last time she hung out at Soho House, Nobu or Chateau Marmont? Exactly!

      • Luca76 says:

        It’s so funny how upset people get when their fav is called out for pap walks. They all do pap walks or else no one would know where to find them and there wouldn’t be such great quality photos (often exclusives to the same photo agency). I’m including my favs in this.
        I think it’s crazy not to recognize that while every actor is a person and has a personal life they are also a brand and multimillion dollar commodity so much of their decisions are made in conjunction with PR and studios etc in order to control their image and maintain their careers.

        Cara D isn’t at the same level as Kristen and has always been out so the film couldn’t and wouldn’t be overshadowed by her statements. Cara talking about her sexuality means some mild controls you and awareness of a small indie.
        On the other hand As much as some are claiming Stewart is out if she actually made a statement about her sexuality it would be huge news and the public at large that doesn’t go onto celeb and gossip sites would react. Just like the everyone’s always known outings of Anderson Cooper and Ellen Page. That kind of decision would definitely have to be timed and managed by her team.

      • Dubois says:

        Lainey says it best when she says that celebs can totally go undercover and not be papped when they want. Halle Berry and Nahla come to mind. There for a while they were papped ALL the time. Lately? I can’t think of when I last saw Nahla. My personal theory is that the judge has ordered both her and Gabriel to quit the pap-calling. Brad and Angelina can go incognito for extended periods of time too – all celebs can. My point is that Kristen, like the rest of them (or her PR) does do pap strolls. My opinion is also that we were slowly being “introduced” to Alicia. Pap stoll here, pap stroll there over the last 2(?) years, so it wouldn’t be this huge deal that Kristen’s with a woman and the public could gradually accept Alicia. The paps don’t spend all day camped out at LAX or someone’s house (except after a scandal or something). I’m a fan of Kristen’s and am okay knowing she plays the game too. As for why we’re not seeing Alicia – I have no idea. It could be that now she’s been “introduced”, she can back off the strolls. It could be anything. I do agree with the points made above that it’s probably unrelated to a movie.

    • Corrie says:

      Thought this was fun but what do i know, golf, music, and poetry/art… not a bad past time- one we all wish we could treasure more. As for the rest. Alicia pics have been constant since Rob lived with Kristen, spring 2013. Umm hmm. The paps themselves have said several times Alicia calls us. Don’t know if true but when push came to attack from Ks friends… the pap said don’t pretend like you don’t’ call me Alicia. Hey, they all do it. Why her fans won’t admit Kristen does it too is weird. Lainey wrote 3 years ago Kristen brokered a pap deal. Seems true then and true with Alicia. As for her mentioning Alicia, up to her. But she’s made it clear she’s with Alicia since the day her ex left. The first pics of Kristen then were with Alicia lol. All the rest of 2013 was with Alicia and 2014 too. Her PR controlling her mentions – don’t know. She definitely talked Rob. Not a lot but enough -every so often so it is suspicious but at the end of the day its her prerogative. Alicia feels like drapes in the background. She’s seen but not heard. Paps have been on Kristen since Twi, so this isn’t new territory. She seems to want to rewrite history a bit, but does it all really matter. Tiger sucks now, so pick a new mentor Kristen.

  4. Senaber says:

    It’s true. Every time I need to be miserable I just pretend I’m Kristin Stewart and it works like a charm.

  5. Mrs. Wellen Melon says:

    Sullen, edgy golf is a concept I never considered before this.

    • belle de jour says:

      There’s a lot of pain hiding underneath all that plaid.

      My wish: white belts & shoes become the new e-cigarette.

  6. PunkyMomma says:

    Considering Tiger Woods’ swing has been like sh*t for the past year or two, I find her comment to be blowing smoke. As usual. 👀

    • Div says:

      Tiger is still kind of a legend, even if his game has been terrible during the last year or so. I don’t get why so many people are ready to write him off—it doesn’t erase his many, many incredible years as a golfer. That said I wouldn’t picture his swing either lately—for me it’s Lorena Ochoa.

    • Abbott says:

      Ha!

    • Crumpet says:

      No kidding! I would expect her emulate Rory McLroy or Jordan Speith. Both admirable incredibly talented golfers who have achieved great things. And are DECENT human beings as well.

    • G says:

      That’s like saying you don’t want to play tennis like Steffi Graf just because her game isn’t what it was right NOW.

    • Tiffany says:

      @Momma. I will take a shi*tty Tiger Woods golf swing compared to mine. I mean….just. Maybe I am not longed to play golf. *sigh*

      • PunkyMomma says:

        Oh me, too. My point was that her point of reference was a bit, in my opinion, out of date. Perhaps Rory, Jason Day or any of the number of the newer generation of golf guns would have made Kristen sound, to me, a bit more believable. I know she’s a golfer. BTW, no shade on Tiger’s game -

  7. Lilacflowers says:

    Is there no video of Isabelle Hubbert dancing in a drag bar in Seoul?

    • Div says:

      Exactly. I was like…okay whatever WHAT. I want video of Isabelle Huppert dancing in a drag bar in Seoul so badly….I remember seeing a couple of photos of Isabelle after Chanel events but none of that. It reminds me of the time I read that Tilda Swinton was doing karaoke at some party in London, and there were no pics ;( People get stalker fan photos all the time of celebs, but rarely when they are doing interesting things.

  8. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    My husband and I sail a lot, and the hardest part to me is docking. Sailboats are big and heavy and ours doesn’t have rub rails so it’s easy to scratch. I used to get so nervous every time we came back to the dock that I started to pretend I was Katherine Hepburn on The True Love, and it helped. Go figure.

    • kri says:

      LOL, GNAT!! Foor some reason, I picture you reclining elegantly, wearing cat-eye shades and an artfully wrapped headscarf, holding a martini glass. And sigh…I love sailing.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Ha! I just use it to stay calm. Katherine Hepburn wouldn’t scream the F word when the boat came close to the dock, now would she?

      • PunkyMomma says:

        Actually, GNAT, she would. Love the image of you relaxing with the cat eye shades, too.

    • mia girl says:

      GNAT, my you are yar.

      PS I ❤️ you forever for channeling that movie. It is one of my top 3 favorite movies ever

  9. Tash says:

    “…if I don’t do something really well, I don’t want to do it.” Why is she acting then?

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      That made me chuckle. She needs to get over that if she’s going to learn anything new. Getting over the fear of looking stupid is very freeing. Most things aren’t easy the first few times you try them.

      • Tash says:

        I agree with you. Still, when you see people earning millions at being mediocre at best, it’s infuriating.

      • Kitten says:

        I bet Kristen is probably just a competitive person. I can relate. It’s hard for me to feel motivated to do something if I know that I’ll suck at it.

        My brother, on the other hand, has no fear of failure. As a result, he picks things up and keeps trying till he excels at it. I really admire that, but it’s just not in my nature….

    • Ronda says:

      Breaking News: Actress Kristen Stewart passed away from 15th degree BURNS.

    • G says:

      @Tash Because Ang Lee, Woody Allen, Oliver Assayas, Kelly Reichardt etc are hiring her #shrug

      • Tash says:

        I dunno…I just find her to be an one-note actress. She always looks like she suffers from a sinus infection or is in mid sneeze. I do want to see Clouds of Sils Maria – heard good things about the movie and her performance. She may yet surprise me :)

  10. Div says:

    JMO but the paps were probably after them hoping to get a photo so they could “officially” out them (even though she was in a glass closet) as a couple. Now that the information is out there about her sexuality, the value of their photos have probably gone way down and so the photos have dwindled down. Plus, people were being absolutely brutal about her girlfriend’s appearance—I wonder if it’s less Kristen, who had no qualms holding her hand in public, and more her girlfriend that didn’t like having her name out there. There was a fan pic of them walking around not that long ago, so they aren’t hiding or anything.

    Anyway, the only really interesting part is about Isabelle Huppert in a drag bar! Now that is actually interesting….

    • Div says:

      Also, if her girlfriend lives and works in L.A. I doubt she can take off to Paris on a whim. I don’t think her not going to Paris has anything to do with their relationship.

  11. SC says:

    To be fair to her, visualisation is a genuine sports pshycology intervention that can significantly improve posture, relaxation, focus and technique—mirror neurons also play a part, as watching or even imagining someone doing a move correctly will cause your own brain to “practice” firing in a way that improves your own execution. It’s not unlikely that it helps her to picture someone doing it perfectly, especially if she already has an understanding of the sport.

    • Tash says:

      I think you give her too much credit. Otherwise she would be much better actress.

    • Melody says:

      Ditto this – and it makes sense from an actor’s point of view too. They understand a character in part by mimicking the body movements, which would probably help in getting the right form going.

    • Crumpet says:

      Yes, of course you are correct. But it was still fun to ream her over her choice of swing paragons.

  12. Tig says:

    Why not imitate Elin’s swing? Understand that one is a thing of beauty-!

    I am in the “she’s easing out of the relationship” camp. Mama’s intentional or not slip of the tongue probably gave her the excuse she was looking for to make the break.

  13. Jessie says:

    Golf has been a hobby of hers for years (ditto with the guitar, she’s been playing since she was a kid, though the drums might be new). Some behind the scenes video of her playing golf on the set of Camp X-Ray made its way onto some golf sites, and apparently she does have a nice swing.

    As for Alicia, I don’t know how many times it needs to be stated that she never travels with Kristen for work. She has her own job. She is not and has never been Kristen’s PA. Also, Kristen hasn’t been papped much, with or without Alicia, for months now. Since before her mom’s interview. There was a fan pic of her and Alicia out last week and some sightings. Plus pics of Alicia on Instagram in Kristen’s house and with Kristen’s dog a few weeks ago. I think Kristen has been putting a lid on her private life, and that started long before her mom outing her.

    • G says:

      But apparently if paparazzi don’t document your relationship at least once a week it means you are ‘hiding’ it to some….

      Kristen can’t win. If she is papped it means she is fame hungry and attention seeking (even though she literally goes for a coffee in her local neighborhood – how dare she!) . If she isn’t papped it means she is ‘shamed’ of being bisexual – even though she has said that she believes that Gender isn’t important when it comes to attraction and obviously doesn’t care about holding her girlfriend’s hand in public.

    • manta says:

      I remember the segments of her playing guitar and singing in Into the wild. She did good.
      And this film is what, almost 10 years old? If she’s practiced regularly all these years, she’s probably decent.
      Not saying she’d be a singer/player prodigy but considering where the bar is set nowadays, she shouldn’t hold herself back if she really likes it.

    • mädchen says:

      Facts are not welcomed on K’s articles. Ridiculing every single letter of what she said is the way to go. At this point it’s simply ridiculous.

  14. Lucky Charm says:

    Maybe Tiger Woods should pretend he’s Tiger Woods and it would improve HIS golf game. :-)