Mariah Carey only allows James Packer to have sex with her on Mondays

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I know that there are going to be people yelling “OMG, this comes from Star/OK, it’s obviously crap!” But here’s what you need to know: I believe every single word of this. I will always believe the stupidest, silliest, craziest stories about Mariah Carey because more often than not, they are 100% true. As we know, Mariah is currently dating James Packer, an Australian billionaire previously linked to Miranda Kerr (the rumor is that Kerr homewrecked Packer’s marriage). Packer seems enamored with Mariah, and early into their courtship, he took Mariah, her kids and his kids on a whirlwind vacation through the Mediterranean. But is he strong enough to follow Mariah’s strict courtship rules? An insider tells Star/OK: “Mariah wants to be in control and let James know that she’s unlike anyone he’s ever been with.” Thus, these rules. Apparently, James is “up for a challenge.” Hahahaha.

Sex Only On Mondays: Mariah doesn’t like surprises, especially in the bedroom. So to make sure she’s always prepared for a night of passion, she schedules her sex on Monday nights. “There’s a beauty routine she goes through beforehand,” says a source. “And she likes to make sure candles are lit and music is playing.” Ah, the anticipation!

Never Mention Nick: Determined to leave her soon-to-be-ex-husband Nick Cannon in the past, Mariah has forbidden everyone around her—even James—to refer to him by name. “She only calls Nick ‘my children’s father’ and expects everyone else to follow suit,” adds the source.

Keep The Bubbly On Ice: Between chart topping singles and impromptu getaways, there’s always something to celebrate. So James has been advised to always keep a chilled bottle of Mariah’s favorite champagne, plus a supply of bendy straws to help keep her lipstick smudge free.

Break Out The Silver Spoons: Mariah loves being pampered—and not just by a team of masseurs, stylists and assistants. She also expects James to pitch in by rubbing her feet, washing her hair when they’re in the tub together and even spoon-feeding her dinner! “Mariah thinks being fed by her lover is the most romantic thing on earth,” says the source.

Don’t Change The Station: Famed for her five-octave vocal range, melismatic style and mastery of whistle register, there’s no denying Mariah’s singing talent. To make sure James never forgets, Mariah demands that her tunes blare from the speakers at all times. “She loves hearing the sound of her own voice,” says the source. “She believes she’s the greatest singer in the world.”

Make It Steamy—Literally! To keep her skin supple and her nasal passages moist, Mariah made James purchase 24 humidifiers for his home, private plane and yacht. “She’s obsessed with them,” reveals the insider. “There have to be at least three going in every room…and four placed around her bed at night.”

Don’t Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em: After nearly ruining her voice with the habit years ago, Mariah decided to give up cigarettes. And she doesn’t want James or his staff to have any around her. Says the source, “After the first time she saw him smoking, she told him under no certain terms that he had to quit.”

Check In At All Times: Though the two have been joined at the hip for the last several weeks, sources say that when James can’t be with her, Mariah contacts him hourly. “She wants to try to trip him up to see if he’s where he says he is,” says the insider. “And somehow, she always has a way to find out if he’s telling the truth.” Hope he lives up to her vision of love!

[From Star Magazine]

I believe everything. This is all completely true. I believe Mariah only lets Packer bang her on Mondays. Why not Fridays? Why not Wednesdays? JUST BECAUSE. Mariah has to be prepared and that preparation begins on Tuesday and she’s not ready until the following Monday. I believe she probably hates that Packer smokes and she’s “ordering” him to quit. I believe all the rest of it too.

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Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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102 Responses to “Mariah Carey only allows James Packer to have sex with her on Mondays”

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  1. India says:

    You Go Girl!!!

    • kira says:

      Oh what a headline! Nothing like a starting off the day with a deep belly laugh!!
      Yeah girl you go!

    • Elisa the I. says:

      Ha, exactly my thoughts when I read the headline! Epic! More power to her! Go, go, go!

    • jen2 says:

      Yeah, sitting at my desk, I let out a yelp when I read this. Hope my colleagues don’t think I am ill. Great way to start a Friday morning…laughter. Star is nothing if not entertaining in their stories and what great detail!!

    • Snazzy says:

      Everything about this is amazing

  2. ldub says:

    WTF?!

    • Rice says:

      Indeed. But the real question is whether she demands that Shrek Packer holds the bendy straw while she sips her favourite champagne. Otherwise, it wouldn’t taste the same.

  3. MelissaManifesto says:

    I like Mariah but her reported antics always seem psychotic to me as if she has some type of B-cluster personality disorder. It’s too much, too extreme, too over the top.

    • Aren says:

      She probably has something as a result of too much money, too much fame and too much adulation.

    • speshul says:

      Her mental and spiritual growth seems to have halted around her mid teens. She is middle aged but acts 14. Even that list above reads like something a teen would think of as a grand romance (Him feeding you! Calling each other 5000 times a day! champagne thru a bendy straw!!) but to me seems suffocating. I feel bad for her; she always seemed delightfully loopy.

    • Kosmos says:

      I love Mariah, but I don’t love knowing or thinking that she is this over-the-top diva who has to be completely prepared for every little thing. To put down so many rules is well, strange….I’ve noticed she rarely looks casual and is mostly dressed to the max, even on the yacht. In fact, I’ve seen her in older photos where she is wearing light makeup and she looks much better than fully made up. I hope she is not making James do all of those things for her, geez. If she’s really possibly all of these things, then I cannot see a relationship working out with anyone for the long term. I do love Mariah, but not this part of her…..

  4. kanyekardashian says:

    She’s made it very clear she doesn’t believe in sex before commitment. She isn’t going to just suddenly change her value system because she’s dating someone new.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      She’s having sex before commitment – on Mondays – so she can get ready. Or do you think that’s made up and you mean she’s not having sex with him at all?

      • Gigi says:

        Please may I jump in with my opinion (which nobody asked for). Mariah has always been “different” about sex and I dont think it has to do with religious beliefs either. She was openly celibate for over a decade, she has said it was the trauma of losing her sis to AIDS. Its just as likely that she just has a very low libido or may be on the Asexual spectrum. So this Mondays Only thing may be correct, sex is probably an unpleasant experience that she has to mentally prepare for. But more likely than not, petting is as far as they are going, much like with Eminem and Nick. Honestly if the guys knowingly sign on, its no big deal.

      • Sea Dragon says:

        I’d like to add that she could have sexual hangups due to prior trauma. When she first arrived she was beautiful, gentle, naive, sweet and then boom! she got implants and went crazy. (That’s how it seemed to my young mind at the time.) Finding out she was sexually violated would explain all these years of bizarre behavior, including a Monday’s Only rule.

      • Aren says:

        @Gigi, personally I’m glad you contributed because that was quite informative and it seems to fit very well with Mariah’s personality.

        @Sea Dragon, are we sure they are implants? They look very natural.

      • Sea Dragon says:

        Aren- yup! Just google Mariah Carey implants and look at the images.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Very interesting, Gigi. I didn’t know that.

      • Ana Maria says:

        @Gigi: a relative of mine knew Luis Miguel very well for some years, and he broke up with Mariah over 2 things, allegedly: her enourmous entourage and her full hook-up with Eminem…

      • Gru says:

        @Ana Maria Your “source” got it wrong. If Luis Miguel broke up with her over Eminem it was not over full blown sex thats for sure. Eminem himself never claimed to have had sex with her, his claim was always just that they had a romantic relationship. In fact in his diss track he alludes to Mariahs sexual hangups in the line where he graphically describes how reluctant she was to have sex and so he settled for a make out session and he climaxed on her stomach. Its a humiliating thing for an egocentric and macho rapper to admit that over a 6 month relationship he didnt even really hit it but thats what he did in The Warning. Even Nick has talked about how the gates were closed during dating and who knows how frequent it was once they married. Mariah just isnt a sexual being, dont let the Marilyn Monroe imitation fool you.

      • Ana Maria says:

        @Gru: my source’s source was Luis Miguel himself, and although I agree with you that the Eminem hookup most likely did not happen, Luis Miguel was under the impression that it did…

      • Petee says:

        Implant’s

      • qwerty says:

        “But more likely than not, petting is as far as they are going, much like with Eminem and Nick. ”

        Got any source for this?

        As for her sister, I thought she’s alive?

    • Wren says:

      I thought of that too. Those ideas seem mutually exclusive but they may not be. They may not necessarily be having sex, it may just be phrased that way because, well, they’re adults and sex is kinda assumed. It could just be heavy petting or third base or whatever. I can see how she’d still want to control every aspect of that.

      FWIW, I believe this. Maybe not every exact thing literally, but I believe she has a list of crazy rules she expects him to follow. Like humidifiers, ambiance requirements, not mentioning her ex, playing her music always, etc.

    • I Choose Me says:

      Agree. Despite the outfits Mariah has never really seemed that interested in sex. Even Eminem’s diss track about her confirms this.

  5. NewWester says:

    Regarding having James not smoking. In the photo where Mariah nearly falls down the stairs isn’t James smoking a cigarette ?

  6. Ayra. says:

    There’s too many possible jokes for those experts.
    She would probably make James fire his old, aging and loyal butler if his name was Nick..

  7. Betti says:

    Hahaha – that headline brightened up my day.

    Sex on Mondays – sounds like a song!

    • feebee says:

      Funny, I thought of the song I don’t like Mondays…. I guess there’s always Manic Monday too.

      • TeaAndSympathy says:

        Fleetwood Mac – “Monday Morning”
        Mamas and Papas – “Monday Monday”
        Fats a Domino – “Blue Monday”
        ~~~~~~~
        I think Duran Duran had a Monday song, too, but can’t remember its name.

        She’s really something. We Aussies are known for being down-to -earth, but I wonder how d-t-e a multi-billionaire can be. I’m thinking he’ll go along with whatever she wants whilever he’s in the early, lustful stage of the romance. Like most people, what suits him now might not be so when those brain chemicals settle down. Eh, good luck to both of them, though.

        He probably loves smoking. I did. After a major operation, I was really out of it for about ten days. After that, I figured I was over the the really bad withdrawal stage, so have not smoked since, which I’m very glad about. In the above pic, is his cigarette lit? And I’m still wondering why he’s just sitting there as she’s almost coming a cropper on the steps. It’s like he’s just watching a movie…

  8. Lilacflowers says:

    So much for spontaneity. When he’s washing her hair in the tub, is this only on Mondays too?

  9. blue marie says:

    Haha, it’s all so ridiculous that it probably is true.

  10. Dani L. says:

    Sounds crazy but probably true. Not that I can shade her for that if that’s what she believes in. Plus, I can’t imagine having that man nailing you more than one day a week.

  11. Aussie girl says:

    Well now it’s alleged that Packer’s ex wife Erica is dating Seal.

  12. boredblond says:

    Feeds her with a spoon, washes her hair..sounds like toddler duty.

    • crtb says:

      sounds sexy to me….. To each his own. Live and let live. If sex on Mondays only works for them – great. It there some rule book that I forgot to read that says how many time a couple should have sex and when? If these men didn’t like her rules, they would not date her. No one batted an eye When Alicia Keys date some guy and made him wait for sex for over a year. I think we should keep our noses out of other people’s bedroom and let them do what turns them on.

  13. Tracy says:

    If any of it is true, she just sounds sad to me. :(

  14. Miss Gloss says:

    I’m trying to assess the situation and figure out the end game here. She’s batshit. Is he batshit too? Is he her new handler? Is it a sick joke between him and his friends? This whole thing is strange to me.

    • Sea Dragon says:

      What do you mean by handler? He’s a billionaire. Maybe he likes the idea of being sung to sleep by the real deal?

      • bondbabe says:

        Well she was married to Tommy Mottola (the former head of Sony) who is a rich man who guided her career, and who she eventually married.

      • Sea Dragon says:

        Yes. I was going to mention that. He’s what made her into “Mariah”. As soon as they divorced and for years after, she complained bitterly about how every element of her life was highly controlled. I imagine she had to contend with a life similar to Britney’s.
        My impression of her relationship with Nick was that she wore the pants. After all, she had the money and status. I could see their coupling as a reaction to the stranglehold.

        Idk anything about this guy. I could see where he’d want a taste of the spotlight with a woman many admire. He could always juggle others to satisfy his sexual needs while appeasing and putting up with her.
        Or maybe Miss Gloss’ suspicions are valid. I’m always curious about the dark underbelly of the fame game.

        I do appreciate that she’s dressing more conservatively though at first glance I thought the pattern mimicked the Eye of Sauron. Lol Funny what one can see when seriously sleep deprived. Le sigh.

  15. Freddy Spaghetti says:

    Since she supposedly wouldn’t have sex with Nick until they were married, I believe it. I believe all of it. And I give it three months, tops, before they break up.

  16. Ronda says:

    i dont believe it. its not outrageous enough for Mariah!

  17. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    Ugh, who would want to have sex with either of them? I find her so repulsive, spoiled, egomaniacal and tacky.

  18. Izzy says:

    It all sounds exhausting. Seriously, this guy is a billionaire, could have his pick of women, and has chosen to (essentially) take care of a toddler. Says as much about him as it does about her, IMO.

    • Aren says:

      He has probably tried it all before and was looking for something different. Like, very, very different.

    • morc says:

      Maybe he is into being punished.

    • pinetree13 says:

      When you’re that rich you must become bored with life and need new ‘challenges’. Seriously can you imagine being that rich? If you can always have the best of everything…what is there to strive for? I think it’s not the great life everyone thinks it is. Plus all your friendships would be so empty..the only people you could trust to be real friends would be other billionaires of which there are not many to choose from. And since they’re also used to getting what they want all the time most of them are probably humorless, spoiled brats that aren’t that fun to hang out with. They’ll never know the simple joys of complaining and joking with co-workers, having commonality with others (common experiences like rush hour traffic, hating the alarm clock, etc). It’s like their so isolated from the rest of the world. I don’t know, my husband and I have this debate all the time but I feel like the life of the super rich is so empty.

  19. MonicaQ says:

    The MAD TV sketch about Mariah was correct. She is a looney!

  20. Eleonor says:

    This woman is crazy. I love her crazyness, and for the smoking thing…well she is a singer, so I don’t blame her for this.

  21. kri says:

    Mariah Carey is now my official celebrity Crush. This is article is platinum. I don’t care if it is ALL lies, or all true. This is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. #MimiMondays.

    • GingerCrunch says:

      Agreed! I almost didn’t click on the article, but NEEDED details about Sex on Mondays!!! If only I had been sitting under a beach umbrella with a lovely cocktail while reading it. Perfection!

  22. Naddie says:

    I’m loving this. Hope she makes him literally lick her feet. These people deserve each other.

  23. EmmyGrant says:

    It’s hard for me to reconcile her possible prudish nature with the two-bit-hooker look look she’s been sporting ever since her breakup with Mottola.

  24. luffy says:

    I will never understand the mariah hate. yes shes a diva, but shes earned it and shes harmless overall. I find this to be an odd couple because it seems that a famous singer and a billionaire would both have very large egos and would be ill matched, but i guess its working so far. good for her as long as shes happy.

    • Franca says:

      How exactly did she earn it? You don’t get to be a nightmare to the people around just because you can carry a tune. If she discovered the cure for cancer orsomething, then she could be a bit cocky.

      • Georgia says:

        Whoever said she was nightmare to those around her? Most of these aren’t even objectionable–at best, they’re quirky. The humidifiers, listening to her songs, the smoking–it’s obviously keeping her working, so who’s to dispute their efficacy?

        And NOTHING entitles anyone to be a jerk toward anyone else. NOTHING.

    • Naddie says:

      I’m sure you’re very good and talented at one thing, or even more than one, but that doesn’t make you behave like a spoiled, self-absorbed prick. The difference between her and us “peasants” is just the fame.

    • Aren says:

      Ok, I liked her, I could even say I loved her at times because I thought she was adorable and super talented.
      Then I read about what a mean person she can be, that she has even spit on people hired to assist her, and that’s just inexcusable.

      • luffy says:

        ive never heard of her being rude to people. if anything ive always heard she was polite and professional. when has she done those thing?

      • Aren says:

        @Luffy, earlier this year Defamer asked readers for their worse celebrity experiences, I know anybody can make stuff up, but what people were reporting about most celebrities seemed quite accurate.
        Anyway, if I find the direct link about that Mariah incident I’ll post it.
        Also, there are other forums, like one for pilots, and there are threads asking the same question.
        One pilot said Mariah’s assistant repeated things others asked and then Mariah only replied to her assistant.
        Very rude in my opinion.

      • Neah23 says:

        She also treats her nannies like sh*t talking about them like their possessions to be owned and not people. You don’t earn the right to be a diva and treat people like crap.

    • Kosmos says:

      Agreed, she can’t be around smoke—and neither can I ! You know how that can be the worst for some people, so I give her that as being reasonable. Even if she does require so much over the top pampering, i guess that’s just her style, shall we say, and since I’m a Mariah fan, and she seems like a nice diva (as opposed to a spoiled mean diva), then I still want her to be happy even if people don’t understand.

  25. Dash says:

    I love reading anything about crazy Mariah. I have no idea what Packer is getting out of this – maybe he had a huge crush on her in the 90s or something. Previously he’s dated /married personality free models.

    • Pondering thoughts says:

      The irony is that some of the most self-confident business people LOVE when they are told strictly what to do. Because they have to make decisions all day and be / appear self confident all day they enjoy giving up control and then they really love following strict orders.
      Well, each to their own.

  26. Micki says:

    Whatever rocks her boat.

  27. Skins says:

    These two are just flat out creepy

  28. Nicolette says:

    Scheduled sex once a week. No surprises in the bedroom. How boring and controlling can you be? I can totally see her laying back afterward in a huge bed saying “Close the door on the way out Dahling. See you next Monday” as she blows kisses across the room.

  29. Aren says:

    OMG the 4th photo! The bodyguard is struggling to not let go of Mariah and Parker is just chillin’ and smoking a fag there! I can’t stop laughing!

  30. AlmondJoy says:

    He looks like Peter Griffin to me 😩

    Loooord Mimi is hilarious. Laughs for DAYS, I tell ya. I gotta agree with the humidifier obsession though, I love them as well.

  31. InvaderTak says:

    Champagne through a bendy straw? Uh….Not saying that’s a problem; saying that’s more than one.

  32. LAK says:

    Her diva ways are performance art at this point. She’s upholding diva standards of absurdity. I bet she laughs at all the crazy stuff people allow her to get away with.

  33. belle de jour says:

    It’s the melisma that drives me nuts; I always associate her enormous popularity with a ton of singers quickly trying to imitate her, suddenly cramming 8,000 notes into one syllable or bar, Star Search style. I generally like the way it sounds in gospel and jazz and genuine blues, but in pop and blue-eyed soul – not so much.

  34. j.eyre says:

    He’s Australian, right? So what happens when they travel to Australia – which Monday do they observe?

  35. Dawn says:

    Well if that works for them who am I to say it is wrong?

  36. Pondering thoughts says:

    Scheduled sex is not the worst thing if you have a stressful life and a career and kids. Most couples don’t choose a particular day, I believe, but it is usually the “date night” or the night when the kids are on a sleep over.

    Nevertheless she seems to be quite controlling. If that is true then it will be over soon.

  37. Anna says:

    Packer must be a masochist to put up with her.

  38. Colleen says:

    Why do I have the feeling Packer is just going along for the ride? Like he knows she’s ridiculous but she’s fun for the moment. He’s shrieking rich and has nothing to lose, right?

    Also, Mariah has become for me, a giant caricature; a cartoon. Sure, she’s got talent, but she’s so hard to take seriously. Which is a damned shame, because I used to really, really like her. I don’t necessarily dislike her now; I’m just in awe… Of her crazy.

    • Kosmos says:

      I still really like her and I’ll remain her fan forever probably. About the diva part, well, if James isn’t happy with her requests, I’m sure he will let her know in time. Things have their way of working out, for better or worse, and if people truly are not compatible, they won’t stay together. It’s all new right now, but things will settle out in time. I personally cannot see them together over the long term, but I’m glad they’re enjoying their relationship for now.

  39. Tippipippi says:

    When you are in a position to surround yourself with yes people who bow to your every whim and do just that eventually you lose all sense of reality and sanity. Without people who keep you grounded by treating you like a normal adult with all the expectations they would have of any friend/colleague/partner, people go nuts.

    I feel sorry for her because she has no real friends, just people who exist to serve her. That has to be lonely and miserable. Despite being strange at least she seems nice, cuckoo but nice, which makes her isolation from the real world even sadder.

    • speshul says:

      I think her cray is a bit genetic, and a bit circumstantial. She became one of the biggest acts in the world barely out of her teens, and she didn’t have the strongest support system to begin with, given her dysfunctional family. I mean look at Britney or Bieber. Same issue, although Mimi is more talented. She has little education or exposure to the real world which makes her easy to handle by management, but makes for an empty shell of a person. No wonder she acts like she’s perpetually 16. She seems to have stopped maturing at that age. And someone who is that immature and damaged makes for a poor romantic partner, for sure.

  40. anne_000 says:

    Now that it’s come out that he’s the maidservant in this relationship and it looks like she’s emasculated him – whether this story is true or not – I think the relationship is nearing its end because this story makes him look weak. I don’t think he’s the kind of man who would tolerate that.

  41. Whitney says:

    That article is a literary masterpiece. It’s hilarious. It’s so over the top, at least parts of it have to be true.

  42. Sean says:

    I am sure that he has someone, or lots of someones for the other 6 days.

  43. katie says:

    I believe this woman is CERTIFIABLY nuts! Too many people have kissed her ass too many times. I guess it all started with Tommy M….. *le sigh*

  44. Zigggy says:

    Bahaha- so funny. Though I bet a lot of men would actually like to know that they for sure get sex at least once a week. (thinking of my poor husband!)