I know a lot of you have written off People Magazine’s gossip coverage over time, but I’m sincerely enjoying the fact that even People Mag isn’t kowtowing to the Duggars anymore. This week’s People cover story is a remarkable hit piece on the Duggars, their insular, cult-like way of life and the basic gist is “if you want to know why Josh is so screwed up, look no further than his nutjob family.” Now People Magazine is taking a dump all over our dreams of Anna Duggar breaking free now that Josh is “away” at some kind of faith-based rehab. According to People, Anna’s family is just as crazy as the Duggars, if not more. This story comes from a “source” close to Anna’s family:
Growing up as one of eight children to parents Mike and Suzette Keller, Anna had a strict, religious childhood similar to that of the Duggars. “Her parents are even a little more extreme,” the source told PEOPLE of the Kellers. “Anna and her siblings were always taught that if you follow these 10 steps or whatever, God would bless you.”
When Anna, now 27, met Josh at a Christian homeschooling convention back in 2006 when she was a teen, she wasn’t allowed to gush about him to her siblings. “That’s not something that’s shared amongst siblings,” says the source. “They always got 15-minute, one-on-one sessions with their mom every week. That was the time to share their feelings, but other than that they had to keep their feelings to themselves.”
Anna was particularly close to her youngest sister Susanna. “Growing up, they were attached at the hip,” says the source. “They did everything together.”
Despite her rigid upbringing, Anna still had spunk. Says the source, “She’s really fun. She was always the bossy sister, but in a fun way. If she and her siblings were playing a game, she would make sure they were doing it exactly by the rules. They always had a good time together.”
Now, a source close to Josh’s family says Anna is isolated and has changed drastically. “Ever since she met [the Duggars] she has acted more like Michelle,” says the other source. “She talks like her, real soft. She, like, whispers.”
While some of her siblings have been outspoken about wanting her to leave Josh, the source close to Anna says that thanks to the brand of patriarchal Christianity that her in-laws and parents prescribe to, divorce is highly unlikely.
“I don’t think her parents ever thought they would ever come to a situation like this,” says the source, revealing that Anna’s sister Rebecca is going through her own divorce right now. “They just don’t know what to do,” the source says of Anna’s parents. “They always taught their kids that divorce was never an option. They never even thought about cheating. But that’s not how life works.”
Oh, that’s really interesting – Anna’s sister is going through a divorce right now? And Anna’s brother (allegedly) wants Anna to leave Josh? So there are some outlets, some precedent for Anna leaving. That being said, I TOTALLY believe that at this point, Anna is like the Duggars’ prisoner. I believe they’re controlling access to her and Jim-Bob is probably reprogramming her as we speak. Also: you’re only allowed to share your feelings with your mother for 15 minutes a week? OMG. “I don’t want to know if you’re happy, sad, tired or hungry, save it for the Feelings Discussion Time on Monday.”
Photos courtesy of Duggars’ social media.
The more you find out, the sadder these people’s lives are. “Protecting” their kids just ends up screwing them as they mature into adults who need better resources to survive.
I just cannot comprehend how anybody would hear about this lifestyle, and think “oh that sounds great! Let’s do that!” It’s just so beyond the realm of normalcy, I don’t get it.
I think it appeals to narcissistic men who basically control their own personal kingdoms by breeding them. They only marry women with low self-esteem and/or women who were brought up in the same patriarchal religious beliefs.
I used to think it was so gross and strange how Michelle Duggar would look at Jim Bob like he was some kind of god to be adored. Now, after everything that has come out, I understand that she really does view him as her overlord.
I mean think about the control these men have over their families. Your father chooses who you will court and marry. How controlling and sick is that?
I imagine Anna’s family felt like Anna was marrying a crown prince when she married Josh Duggar because of the Duggar fame, money and standing within their church community.
It’s just all so screwed up and oppressing.
Yes, I guess if you are a man who wants to control everything/body around you, this is the place to be. Sickening.
I think I read somewhere that Michelle grew up “normal” and was a cheerleader in highschool. So, it seems like she got into this with her eyes wide open, which makes her even worse in my book.
I grew up in a Christian home, and NONE of this crap that they spew about was ever taught to me, thank goodness!
The ego of the male human knows no limits. And if they can just find enough women who don’t want to take responsibility for their own lives, their own decisions and their own relationship with God, a sick men-serving culture can be established in a blink. This nonsense has nothing to do with Christianity and everything to do with indulgence of and control by…men.
I’d also like to add that the whole Pro-Life stance actually has nothing to do with the baby (as we’ve seen once the child is born) but is all about controlling what women do with their bodies.
She’s apparently said she was bulimic, and her oaf of a husband said she was keen her children didn’t date because she felt it had been damaging for her. Given her family are apparently normal – she has an openly gay sister – I think there is likely a rather sad back-story there on why she fell into a controlling cult and a controlling marriage so blindly.
Horrible. She seems like a nice girl. Time to grow up and use her own head.
A fellow student once said: “God gave us a brain and he wants us to use it.” That’s so f**** true. It’s like they are all like the women of Stepford without a brain and just functioning. That’s not life, it’s sad.
The Episcopal Church USA used to run an outreach ad in magazines with a picture of a statue of Jesus facepalming (yeah, I know, he’s mourning, not facepalming, but the effect was that of an exasperated Savior) and the caption, “He came to take away your sins, not your mind.” Still appropriate.
“Time to grown up and use her own head.”
… it sounds tragic, but not everyone has a head to use.
If this is all she’s ever known, it’s not like deep down she knows better. She’s brainwashed.
At this point I’m wondering just precisely they’re protecting their children from. How in the world is all this worth it? For why? “You may have eternal salvation, but at the expense of your health, sanity, and any sort of personal freedom whatsoever.”
Great point. The children need protection from danger, but in this case, the danger is at home. Josh is a pedophile, not simply guy who ‘made some bad choices.’ He molested his own siblings. And the professional sex worker who just told about her experiences with him thinks he’s bad news. The state must step in at this point and remove these children. These people are all sick and dangerous to the wellbeing of children.
The sad thing is is that it ends up being the exact opposite of ”protection.” Anna Duggar is protected by no-one and from nothing. Her husband is a incestuous, lying misogynist who had unprotected sex (by some some accounts) with a porn worker. I feel very, very sorry for her and her children.
Meetings with mother, once a week for 15 minutes. You just cannot make this stuff up.
It’s not unheard of when you have large families to have to allot time but strictly doing so on a schedule and with such repression? I would go crazy … this is no way to live.
Eight children is not so large that you can only provide them with 15 minutes each of attention to talk about their feelings. That’s two hours in the whole week devoted to taking care of the children’s emotional needs. I come from a big family too, and the idea of only having 15 minutes of my mother’s time is ridiculous.
Also, the source has to be the brother right? The stories were all about her role as a sister which can only come from a sibling. I guess it’s good that Anna has at least one person who can offer an alternative to her, though I really doubt she’ll be allowed to speak to him, even if she wants to.
I’m no fan of these people, but I’m sure the 15 minutes isn’t the only time they can talk to their mother. I think it’s more like some guaranteed private one-on-one time with no interruptions. I have two kids, and they interrupt each other all the time, so I imagine with that many you would have to have a schedule to make sure nobody’s neglected and everybody gets one-on-one time. But I don’t think that would necessarily preclude chats in the kitchen while doing chores, etc, or talking in the car.
Then again, maybe it does. I don’t know.
^^ My thoughts exactly.
That is completely insane. Kids NEED to share their feeling. My oldest is a tween and I am doing my damnedest to keep those lines of communication open as we enter the teen years. These people are off their rockers.
@Tate. Yes they do. And sometimes they want some type of affection be it a hug or their hand held. To limit talking of all things to 15 minutes and I can imagine they are not leaning on Mom’s shoulder. That seems to border on abusive when it comes to little ones.
It’s horrid. Especially for the sensitive kids. My son is a sensitive kid and just about every day he needs to talk to me about something he is frustrated about and get it all out. If he doesn’t, it builds up and turns into something much bigger. He would be an emotional wreck if he only got 15 minutes a week to talk to me.
Hell I’m an adult and I haven’t had Mom Time in 6 weeks and it’s bringing me down. Luckily, I’ll be seeing her tonight 😉
But yeah 15 minutes doesn’t seem like nearly enough time IMO.
These people dont want a relationship with their children at all, they just want to be right.
I pretty much had a break from reality at that point. 15 minutes isn’t even long enough for Michael Scott to tell us about all his feelings on an episode of The Office.
I understand that time would be at a premium with several children — especially if both parents work outside the home. But I am trying to envision how that plays out for legitimate issues (feelings) that fall outside the assigned time.
Seems way too rigid — even neglectful.
Neglectful is correct — that is downright horrific parenting. I’m surprised there aren’t more teen suicides in this cult.
Well, 8 kids, 19 kids…where can the time come from to care for all their needs. Of course it is neglectful. This breeding programme they have going doesn’t make any sense to me.
Saywhatwhen, their kids will out-vote your kids, strength in brainwashed numbers. That is part of their overall plan.
Yes, unfair. The kids might as well be in an orphanage. I’ve always disliked how the Duggars have the buddy system with their kids. Michelle first realized that she didn’t have time to care for all her kids, and her first thought wasn’t, “OK enough”, it was, “Make the older ones do it because God will sterilize me when the time is right.” She needs a lobotomy and a hysterectomy. Just because she can, doesn’t mean she should. God what a life. And no music! Imagine going through adolescence without good music.
I hope they are making it up, though. If they aren’t, then it’s emotional abuse. They are as bad as Scientologist..
No, highly dedicated Scientologists place little to no value on the family unit. They’re there to serve the cults needs above all else.
I think of all the insane things I have read about this cult, this is one of if not the saddest. Granted I only have 1 child, but 15 minutes a WEEK? I just can’t. That’s child abuse – chalk up another one for the lunatics.
I have three children, and it can be really hard to make sure the oldest one in particular gets enough “one on one” time. But 15 minutes a week! My heart breaks for all of these kids. Who grow up to be adults and seem to perpetuate this horrible cycle.
Very sad. I had to read that twice to make sure I was reading it correctly.
It’s like an appointment with the Boss! Do they hand out ticket numbers too and the kids wait in line in the hallway?
I call Tuesday’s 8-8:15 – right after us crazy “Christian” folk clean up dinner for the men and do their laundry and just before prayer hour and lights out. Sure do hope momma lets me have more than one feeling. Would hate to overwhelm her since I’m number 6 and all. Ugh.
I don’t hold out much hope for her leaving him.
I don’t either — she’ll stay. The Duggars have her under their thumb and they’re not letting her go anywhere, even if she had an inkling of thought that she wanted to.
I think she’s locked up tight in Duggarland. I’m also wondering what she is being told will happen to the kids if she tries to leave. I know in LDS communities, the kids “belong” to their father and it is very, very hard to get them out. I don’t think the Duggar’s have the same pull in their community (not every judge etc…is part of their cult), but I also highly doubt that Anna knows that. She is so insulated that she may believe that if she leaves, the kids stay.
Poor Anna and those poor kids. What a mess.
Not only won’t she leave the perv, but in about five minutes she’ll be convinced that it was alllll her fault. If only she hadn’t been so tired raising those FOUR kids, or her body hadn’t aged out of the 18 year old sex machine stereotype ….blah blah blah. They make me sick.
Maybe not now, but perhaps eventually. They can’t keep her on lock down forever. Perhaps after the acute trauma is passed and the kerfuffle has died down she’ll start to think about it.
Sigh. You gotta hope, otherwise it’s too sad to bear.
It will be a fabulous day when his Porky Pig face is yesterday’s news.
I was wondering who this POS reminded me of – these families should be investigated by the CPS immediately – the stories I read here yesterday about “blanketting” I mean wtf? Hitting babies and molestation are all crimes – this POS and his parents should be in jail.
Omg! Porky Pig…that’s exactly it!
So sad 🙁 I hope she wakes up from whatever crazy cloud they have her on. Unlikely, but eh, gotta have some hope. What’s ever sadder is that she’s not the only woman stuck in these kinds of cults. She needs some Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in her life!
As far as I’m concerned, only allowing a child to express feelings with one person (even if it is his/her mother) for 15 minutes a week is emotional abuse.
I agree.
I wonder the same. It seems neglectful.
I see it as criminal neglect unless the father was the daily caregiver, which I doubt
Men are not responsible for child rearing in anyway in this cult, only making sure their girls are “pure” and the boys are “godly”.
Everything I read about these families sounds like abuse, but yeah, that one is pretty bad.
These twisted people and their cult disgust me
Only 8 kids, eh? Well, with so few they can’t risk too many going astray. It’s not like they have 20 kids, you know?
Ok, I just broke down and cried. These hateful, horrible people are blessed with eight beautiful children, and they don’t allow them to have any feelings or talk to anybody but the “mother” for 15 minutes a week? Those precious spirits so smothered and beaten down and cruelly battered or neglected by these cold, unfeeling shadows of people who call themselves Christians? How is that allowed? It breaks my heart.
There is hope with this particular family. 2 of the kids broke away, and it sounds like there is a 3rd doing the same. That gives a sliver of hope for Anna despite being held hostage by the Duggars.
it isn’t allowed mama. It’s awful and cruel all in the name of God.
Love in family should be overflowing from all directions with children never ever doubting their place in their parents world.
Oh no don’t cry GNAT 😢 . I know it’s horrible and really unfair to these kids. And look at the damage it has already done. I was trying to stay away from this topic for that reason but I saw your comment. Honestly It’s hard to even think about. It blows my mind that anyone would or could even be pulled into this cult – Because that’s what this is – a cult. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for these kids and the fact that their parents are setting them up for failure and being so neglectful is disgusting and abusive.
Yes it beyond sad and heart breaking. To talk about their emotions means to have thoughts and feelings when all these people want is empty puppets.
*hands GNAT a tissue*
It really is awful. You have a good heart, Gnatty ♥
❤️ Thanks, everybody, I’m sorry I was so dramatic and made it about me. I just picture these kids having no one to talk to but that robot mother 15 minutes a week. Ugh.
I love your heart GNAT. Yes, a child should feel free to share their feelings anytime they need. suppressing them will only hurt them in the long run. I feel so sorry for Anna and wish there was someone in her life that could help her out of this mess.
If the Duggers read the Psalms and the Prophets closely, they would see how much sadness and rage are on those pages. I’ve always loved the raw, emotional honesty that I saw there. I use King David is my example of how to pray out my emotions (except mine are riddled with cuss words) so I can deal with them as honestly and effectively as I can.
I love that you use cuss words in praying. Sounds real to me.
Yes, this is what happens when women are forced to have unwanted children. They do not get the same level of cAre and love as when the mom makes the choice to have their child (even if the pregnancy was unplanned…the mom normally chooses whether to keep the child or not). In this cult the women are forced to have as many children as possible no matter their personal capability of taking care of those children. They shut down their feelings and become cold uncaring robots to cope with their lives since they themselves are not allowed to exhibit ‘ungodly’ anger or sadness.
another day, another Duggar dilemma. I wish everyone would stop covering this cult family.
Listen, we have to encourage the blogs to continue coverage of the Slithers because the main stream media doesn’t cover or “normalizes” the behavior of this cult. This is how they ended up on TLC for so long. There was no outrage and the only place where you are getting sensible commentary is on the blogs. So although distasteful the bloggers have to continue. Otherwise Fox and People get to tell us the “truth”.
But if they weren’t famous all of this would go down quetly and Anna would have even less of a chance to be free.
I wish cults like these would get MORE coverage. Maybe then people will care enough to set up outreach programs to help people escape the cult. If we turn a blind eye abuse is free to flourish. Just look what happened with Jeff warren and the LDS cult! Hundreds of children were being raped by him and his sick followers. They all lived on compounds with no access to the outside world. Two of the young men that escaped and told their stories of being abused as children have since committed suicide 🙁
TLC should have done a show about the kids of Christian fundamentalists who got away, instead they chose to give these crazies a platform to mainstream themselves.
+1
That could actually be a really good show, how people get away from a cult and try to rebuild their lives when they’ve been so isolated. If done well, it could be extremely affecting. But TLC would destroy it and turn it into a mess, so let’s hope some other networks seizes upon the idea.
Yes! This would be so interesting, and can you imagine the uproar from the fundies.
Well just the other day I was channel surfing and saw Sister Wives. I didn’t even know we got TLC in Europe. Gah!!! I cannot believe this is on T.V. I feel like TLC is the go to place to watch cults be cult.
TLC has been in Europe for a while. And they have/had a show like that, about a woman who broke free and now helps others to do the same
There’s Escaping Polygamy which isn’t *too* bad.
An excellent idea, but I hope this is not a bandwagon onto which TLC is permitted to jump too soon before expelling whatever influences allowed the Duggars a programme in the first place. TLC ought not to be allowed a veneer of redemption.
i refuse to watch TLC ever again. Total garbage.
“She’s really fun. She was always the bossy sister, but in a fun way. If she and her siblings were playing a game, she would make sure they were doing it exactly by the rules.”
Yeah, seems like a lot of fun. On a more serious note, it is such a terrible way of growing up. Controlling family, all those rules to follow… Sure, she probably changed since she married Josh but she wasn’t exactly free before. It’s sad.
Cleo- that was my take away.
“Oh let’s hang out with cool, bossy, stickler for rules older sister Anna! I’m so glad she’s babysitting tonight!”
My aunt is like that. She’s bossy and loves rules and wants everybody to do things the Right Way. She’s got a sense of humor though that mitigates that, and she’s very loving and warm hearted. So it’s possible to be both bossy and liked. I’m imagining they’re pointing this out to highlight how Anna has changed from someone who wasn’t afraid to speak up and attempt to exert some control to a shy little mouse speaking only in a girly whisper.
That first picture is just too much…
I wish I could plead with Anna; I know that she wants to be commendable, supportive, and loving to her husband, but after all that has come out, she needs a breather (IMO) away from his family, and to an extent her family.
Again, IMO, I think she would benefit being around other women who have been involved with the same situation or can relate to what she is going through.
That first picture makes me stabby…
GopherBJ is not going to waste more than five minutes of his precious man time reprogramming this incompetent woman who couldn’t hold his golden boy’s attention from straying. He’ll give one lecture, a prayer, and then Squirrel will take over.
Men with such extremism usually view women so poorly that you are right — Anna would not even get 15 minutes of HIS precious time.
It’s heartening to see the conversation about these folks finally change direction and focus on how batshit crazy their belief system is. I have watched the media excuse and justify their behaviour over and over again.
I have a very close friend who escaped the QF movement with her five children in tow. She was disowned, all of her family and his family have nothing to do with the children. It was a nightmare for her, the “outside” community pulled together and helped her. She’s now a college graduate and engaged to a wonderful man.
I hope Anna can find her own way in this world, if she chose to leave she’d have support outside of the cult.
That’s awesome – I wish your friend the best of luck. I think so many of these women (and probably some of the young men too) who think about leaving imagine they would be completely on their own in the world, but there’s always someone out there to help.
“It’s heartening to see the conversation about these folks finally change direction and focus on how batshit crazy their belief system is. I have watched the media excuse and justify their behaviour over and over again.” THIS THIS THIS
People’s thought process kills me too. The show “My Baby’s Mamas” which had women that had 2-5 kids a piece? “Oh look how irresponsible they are!”
20 kids? Perfect family. Apple pie bald eagle hemi broke dick pills beer god MERICA!
I am happy to see the direction of the conversation change too. The narrative was going in the direction of Josh molesting his sisters is just normal teenage curiosity. That kind of talk is scary. Nothing normal about it.
I am so happy for your friend and it is wonderful that people came together to help her.
Not very Christian of me, but I just want to punch his stupid face.
Christians weren’t very Christian when they engaged in ‘holy war,’ so go right ahead.
@Amy— it’s ok as long as you let me have at him and Jim Bob after you do.
Michelle Duggar just gets duck tape over her mouth so no one has to listen to her spew her ridculousness or hear that mousey-squeak voice any more.
Rehab is going to help after rough sex with a former Porn Star for Josh and sexually molesting his own Sisters!?! Lmao!
Uhhhmmmnnn… no guess again. There IS more about Jim Bob Duggar and the Quiverfull movement because the effed-up Duggar Parents and sexual deviant Josh are the gift that keeps on giving.
👎👎👌🏽👌🏽
God will forgive you.
IF I repent, LOL
Maybe God is purposing to work His justice through you? So really you’re just an instrument of the Lord in this.
There’s no hope. Her parents have too much influence on her and they are against divorce and what they will look like in the community, per her brother.
Put the Duggars and her parents together influencing her, and the outcome is she stays married and doesn’t believe in divorce.
Yeah I hate to be *doomsday” about it but I fear that Anna is a lost cause.
What do these people do for money? Not the dug gars but the rest of the movement.
From what I read some of them are very poor. Large families living in small spaces.
There’s some good articles on Patheos on this very topic. Here’s one on how crazy it is, and the doublethink that converts self-induced, child-neglecting grinding poverty to sanctity: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2010/08/above-rubies-magazine-when-bad-things-happen-to-quiverfull-moms/ and a second that gives an overview of attitudes, lifestyles and coping strategies: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2010/08/debt-free-duggars-pt-2-quiverfull-royalty-vs-quivering-reality/
Makes for depressing reading.
Isn’t Suzanna the one with a baby out of wedlock?
So out of 8 kids, Daniel wants Anna to leave Josh and thinks his own parents are bonkers, Rebecca is getting a divorce and Suzanna has sinned in the worst of matter (not really, but to them I suppose that was a huge blow). So the Kellers aren’t that good at passing down their lifestyle.
How many of the Duggars will come to their senses in time? Statistically speaking, several should.
If she started a gofundme, I’m sure lots of people would support her. I sure would. This poor woman needs to get away from both sides of the family.
I doubt she knows what that is. Does she even know how to use the computer? Or is she allowed to!
Judging from Jill and Jessa, social media isn’t forbidden. Even the kids get to use the Internet, albeit on the buddy system. And Josh obviously has some device somewhere he’s using. It logically follows that Anna isn’t completely in the dark.
Anna is a talented seamstress. If she designed and made a half-dozen or so little tchotchkes to sell on Etsy, I believe a fair number of people would buy her merchandise just to demonstrate solidarity with her.
There is something to be taken away from this that is good. Both the Kellers and the Duggars (and the Juebs – give them a Google – they are QF and had a TLC special) is that this whole lockdown, insular, “Christian” cult nonsense doesn’t work long-term. The Kellers tried it, and three of the children have already broken away. And, as much as the Kellers may not like the breakaway, they still see those “lost” children. There’s pictures on Free Jinger of all the Kellers at Thanksgiving last year, including Anna and Josh. So…Mom and Dad may preach something, but they do something different in real life (aka they shunned for awhile but not anymore). Dimbulb and Baby Voice tried the same thing, and guess what – Josh still got hold of the Internet and discovered porn and masturbation etc etc. And part of me thinks he didn’t turn into a molester on his own one day out of the clear blue sky. I would put money on him having been a victim himself. It doesn’t excuse what he’s done, but it does show where it came from. I think Jana wants no part of being married with her own kids because she’s raised a brood already. Same goes for John David and Josiah. This won’t last. Give it five years tops, and this family won’t be a one-unit, robot army for Jesus. The Juebs are another one – I think they have 15 kids, and at least 3 have broken away.
The more you repress, the more you drive people to see what’s so bad about whatever the taboo thing is. And in this day and age with phones and the internet – which these people use to show their repressed Jesus lives – it’s impossible to fully lock out the big bad world with its sex and secular good times.
The Jeub parents have been accused of abuse by the kids who broke away.
Who are these wackos? How do these people have shows?
The beauty of reality shows is the train-wreck they portray.
These kids are so f-cked. I feel awful for Anna. Her husbands a lying, cheating, child molesting sack of sh-t and she’s being told it’s her fault or God’s way. Not his damn bad and irresponsible choices. Ugh, I can’t. Josh Duggar is slime.
This makes me sad. I can’t take any joy in it (as much as I cackle with glee at the exposure of the Duggars’ patriarchal, intolerant hipocrisy, but Anna makes me sad). She has been indoctrinated and isolated, so I can’t really blame her for not leaving him. This is a faith and a people that teach that women are only as valuable as their reproductive organs and that they have to be submissive to their husbands. When you’re indoctrinated to believe in such a thing absolutely, it will have a powerful grasp on you. I was briefly raised in a fundamentalist, proselytizing church like theirs that had this kind of contempt for women, and it was sickening what went on underneath the wholesome surface. I knew of one woman who was mercilessly beaten by her husband (he suffered from PTSD after being in combat). Church elders “counseled” her husband “biblically” about being less violent, but they strongly urged them not to see a therapist (because secular psychology is evil or something), so he never got help and continued beating her. Finally, when he started beating her oldest son brutally (but not the younger son or daughter, who were his pets), and when he began raping her on a regular basis, she gathered her courage and divorced him. The church was supportive of her, but they also allowed her husband to remain in “good standing.” Several years later, when she wanted to remarry, they told her she could not because she had not divorced her husband on “biblical grounds” (adultery) and had to remain celibate. She remarried, anyway, and was excommunicated within 24 hours of her wedding. Her ex-husband, by the way, who beat her brutally, abused their son and raped her, is still to this day “in good standing,” while she is still excommunicated and estranged from her children because they’re encouraged by the church not to speak with her due to her “corrupting influence.” Thankfully, my parents eventually lost interest in this experiment, and we went back to being casual, “show up to church on Easter and Christmas” Catholics, but the experience gave me a lot of insight into some of these ultra-conservative, fundamentalist faiths. Their contempt for women is staggering. Poor Anna.
Oh man…that is so gross and just…horrific.
I suspect I was in the same proselytizing church. I and many other women from that church (and others like it) are now pagan/wiccan where we are considered equal to men. That’s much easier when there’s a goddess equal to the god.
I highly recommend everyone read the novel Devoted by Jennifer Mathieu. It’s a YA novel about a teen girl living in a Quiverfull family and her struggles with wanting more than to be a wife and mother.
It is a gem of a book! I read it this summer and it has stayed with me. I read it so quickly that I had to go back and re-read it because I was so sad it was over!
Horrible but she does have siblings reaching out and offering Her help. Leah Remini is proof (among a million other non famous ladies) that you can be born into a cult, make the decision to leave, and with support from the outside get out for good.
It isn’t safe, easy, fun or comforting but it can be done. I hope Anna does it and finds the strength to leave. She could easily get a reality show about her past if she were hard up for immediate money. Otherwise she’s setting her kids up for molestation and abuse and I can’t pity that.
Here’s an idea. Instead of controlling the women with arbitrary rules, the men step up and behave like people you’d actually want to look up to. These men aren’t natural rulers and leaders. They’re pathetic.
…and I do think women can be rulers and leaders as well. I just think that those who desire to have such a position should get there through being a strong character others can depend on.
I grew up in the same cult that he Duggar’s are in. My ex-husband family are still in the cult & have even appeared on the Duggar’s show earlier on. Like the Duggar’s, my ex-husband family is huge (11 kids) & was rockrd by insest & sexual deviancy. Like the Duggar’s, I was married young (18, my ex-husband was 21) & we started having children right away, three before I saw my 25th birthday. My marriage was incredibly abusive. Bc of the mentality of the cult, I was only ever met w advice about how to be a better “helpmeet” to my husband. Even after I spent four days in the hospital while 5 months pregnant after I was beaten to the ground by my husband, I got no help. I was completely trapped & felt hopeless bc I had three children, no education, & no work experience. On top of that, if I were to leave & stand up for myself, I would be shunned & lose all support. It wasn’t until my ex-husband came home from work one day in 2011 announcing that he was “abandoning our family” that I was finally free. Even after he left us, I was still questioned as to my “wife” skills & when I filled for divorce, I was cut out completely (the expectation of me was that I would stay married to my husband even if he never, ever showed his face again). It has been almost 4 years since that day & I have managed to get into school, find a full time job, & get counseling for me & my children. I have struggled mightily w poverty & depression since, I will not lie. I know exactly what Anna faces should she leave or deviate from what is deemed as “right & good” for her. My heart breaks as I would not wish what I’ve been through on anyone. The road ahead is long & bumpy for Anna, no matter what she chooses, & that should not be forgotten.
I’m so proud of you.
That’s incredible. You’re an inspiration and proof that this cult doesn’t have to be a life sentence. I wish you tons of happiness and continued strength. If you got through that, you can get through anything. Sending positive vibes and internet hugs to you, Heidi. ♥ ♥
Wow. I’m so sorry that you went through all of that. You’re providing a great example to your children. I wish you all the luck in the world!
What a powerful story. Thank you for pointing out that the road is going to be hard for Anna, regardless of which way it goes.
It’s easier to say she should get out than to actually put that plan in action, no doubt. But you are proof that leaving and building a better foundation for yourself and your children is possible. And you weren’t a TV co-star/known figure like Anna.
My best to you.
I am so happy for you that you are free of that man and that lifestyle, and I hope your finances improve soon.
Thanks for sharing your story Heidi. You are a strong woman and should be so proud of not only what you overcame but what you are now accomplishing. Amazing!
Thank you Heidi for your generosity in sharing your personal story and pain. I hope for the way ahead to get easier for you. I am so glad that you can look at your accomplishments and feel proud of how far you have come. When you feel low I hope you will remember that you have many internet strangers who wish you well.
Heidi, hugs and congrats! So glad you are doing better despite the challenges, and so glad you and the children are safe!
You are living proof of what I had been saying on the other posts – Anna can break free! Unlike you, who had to do it alone, she has family willing to help, media that would cover and pay for her story, and could easily get public support if she asked (via gofund me or whatever it is called).
Wishing you the best, and hoping Anna will get out too.
Wow, you are awesome!!! Your story gives us hope that some of the other Duggar/Quiverfull children might be able to get out of the cult.
@Heidi, congratulations on the decision you made and the long journey.
What you did and are doing took a significant amount of self-belief, the confidence that you could have trust in yourself, your decisions, and your ability to find a way.
Being in that environment not only robs women of an education and work experience, but it more importantly robs them of confidence & self-belief. When all they’ve ever done is serve someone else or tiptoe around them to avoid abuse, they have no experience initiating things on their own, or making a plan, or having success or failure.
That lack of experience creates helplessness & an inability to see a way out. It’s common in any abusive situation and it’s not always obvious. Someone can seem fairly confident, principled and even outspoken yet can lack that essential self-belief and not even realize it.
Go, Heidi! Internet support, and best wishes for a much happier life!
You saved your kids from serious emotional scars they would have carried forever- I’m not religious, but I do think that God helps those who help themselves. You will have a full, rich life- I have no doubt. Your kids will flourish thanks to your bravery.
I wonder if Anna has access to twitter. Maybe we can all reach out to her? #AnnaGetOutWhileYouCan – ?
She’s on Twitter!
“But there IS some hope”
I hate to say this, but I don’t think there is. This guy is serious sex offender material and IMO he probably would have had issues no matter what environment he grew up in. Granted, it’s much worse in this environment where females are the lesser, submissive sex, but josh duggar is bad news. I believe this sex worker/porn star 100% and I bet there is more to come out. He WILL abuse his daughters if he hasn’t already. The guy doesn’t need rehab IMO, he needs prison.
“he needs prison” BINGO. What Josh did isnt misguided, its CRIMINAL. Committing a crime in the name of Jeebus is still committing a crime. The act of sexual abuse has the same damaging effects and repercussions on the victim(s).
All these radical religious people (of whatever religion) make their version of what God wants into something so unnatural to the point of being anti-natural. That leads them into getting themselves and others into more trouble than they started with.
Voltaire once said (paraphrasing) If you can make someone believe In absurdities, then you can make them commit atrocities.
We won’t be free until religion ends. Religion encourages obedience and discourages critical thinking. “Don’t ask why or how, don’t question..just memorize this book and do as we say.” I still cannot believe that the majority of the world cannot break free from it.
Thanks for posting that quote. Very appropriate for this topic.
While I agree with your sentiment and basic point I wholeheatedly disagree that religion is to blame. Religion is a tool we all (as a society) have used much like every other tool.
To suggest when religion ends we will be free seems to ignore that when religion ends we will still have differences in skin tone, economic background, language, culture and politics.
If a new passage of the bible was discovered tomorrow which praised homosexuality and offered Jesus blessing do you know what would happen? Half or possibly more of those who had previously condemned homosexuality would still continue to condemn it. Even if that passage was authenticated and shown to be written by Peter himself they would call it false because in the end clinging to that passage gives them a reason to hate the other.
That is all religion is for some people. A tool to separate and hate the ‘other’ just like all our other tools that do the same. They are not homosexual so they hate homosexuals. They cling to anything which gives them credence to punish and ostracize homosexuals. Why do they not cling to the passages that tell them to hate shrimp or pork? Because those passages go against things they like and they pretend they don’t have to obsessively follow those passages.
Take away religion and we’ll still find a million other reasons to hate and discriminate against each other IF that’s what we want.
Yeah, no. Not every religion requires or even encourages dog-like obedience to nincompoopery.
“When Anna, now 27, met Josh at a Christian homeschooling convention back in 2006 when she was a teen, she wasn’t allowed to gush about him to her siblings. “That’s not something that’s shared amongst siblings,” says the source. “They always got 15-minute, one-on-one sessions with their mom every week. That was the time to share their feelings, but other than that they had to keep their feelings to themselves.”‘
This is just horrifyingly awful. I can’t imagine parenting in such an unnuturing, stifling, dismissive way.
I think the best chance Anna has is for Josh to leave her. Fortunately, I could see that at some point. He’s a narcissist, and if another woman actually floats his boat from a background he can’t write off (as he can a hooker), he might fancy starring in his own real-life, low-rent version of epic romance, and move on. He certainly doesn’t seem to give much of a crap about his wife.
We can hope.
I imagine the kids growing up in that atmosphere maybe don’t miss what they have never had. They grow up and then do the same with their children. It seems foreign to us but its not to them. My sister lives in a community where she has become acquainted with Mennonites. While i don’t know a lot about their belief system, I do know the wives and girls work relentlessly to take care of the family. They don’t really associate with anyone outside their religion. They immediately start having babies. What I’m trying to say, I guess, is when you grow up in that environment you don’t know any different so the children are okay with it. There is no divorce. All help each other out in times of need through labor or prayer. She says they are some of the most wonderful people you will ever meet. Ones like Josh are given opportunity for redemption and then excommunicated from the community if they don’t get ‘healed’.