Tom Hardy on sexuality queries: ‘I’m just a bloke, I’m not a role model’


Tom Hardy gave an incredible interview to The Daily Beast this week. The DB’s format suits him, because you can actually read Hardy’s responses to questions in context, like a stream-of-consciousness rant/explanation that seems neverending but very often has a point. I would suggest reading the full Daily Beast piece here. He says some incredible things about his friendship and respect for Phillip Seymour Hoffman, how much he loves all dogs, how much he hates animal poaching and how THR got it right about The Revenant (as in, the shoot was a “living hell”). He also has more nice words for Michael Fassbender (they went to acting school together and Hardy has talked before about how much he admires Fassy). But the most amazing part was Hardy’s long-winded answer when he was asked about privacy and being asked about his sexuality in the middle of the Legend press conference at TIFF. This is his full answer, and the only edit I made was to break up the text into paragraphs:

“I think everybody is entitled to the right to privacy. There should be elegant ways to approach any topic, and there’s a time and place to approach anything and have a good, common sense conversation about anything. I do think that there’s a responsibility for people to own the way that they speak publicly. This doesn’t stop us from being human beings; some things are private. I’m under no obligation to share anything to do with my family, my children, my sexuality—that’s nobody’s business but my own.

“And I don’t see how that can have anything to do with what I do as an actor, and it’s my own business. If you knew me as a friend, then sure, we’d talk about anything. But that was a public forum, and for someone to inelegantly ask a question that seemed designed entirely to provoke a reaction, and start a topic of debate…

It’s important destigmatizing sexuality and gender inequality in the workplace, but to put a man on the spot in a room full of people designed purely for a salacious reaction? To be quite frank, it’s rude. If he’d have said that to me in the street, I’d have said the same thing back: “I’m sorry, who the f–k are you? What he had to talk about was actually interesting, but how he did it was so inelegant. And I appreciate that I could probably have more grace as a human being, but I’m just a bloke. I’m just a man. And I’m just a man doing a job. I’m not a role model for anyone, and you’re asking me something about my private life in a room full of people. I don’t want to discuss my private life with you. I don’t know you! Why would I share that with a billion people?

Also, if you felt it was so important for people to feel confident to talk about their sexuality, why would you put somebody on the spot in a room full of people and decide that was the time for them to open up about their sexual ambiguity? There’s also nothing ambiguous about my sexuality, anyway. I know who I am. But what does that have to do with you? And why am I a part of something now that, however legitimate, I haven’t offered my services for? It’s not about what he and his publication stands for, none of that is offensive, and on the contrary, it’s very admirable, and an important issue. But how I was asked was incredibly inelegant, and I just thought it was disrespectful and counterproductive to what he stands for.”

[From The Daily Beast]

I understand what he’s saying, especially about “if destigmatizing sexuality is important, why make a big deal about it in the middle of a press conference?” And going back to the original story, sure, you can say that the reporter was “inelegant” or “rude.” The reporter definitely asked the wrong question the wrong way, because as the Daily Beast has just shown, Tom “I’m Just a Bloke” Hardy will talk your ear off about privacy, sexuality and more providing you simply ask the right question in the right way.


Photos courtesy of WENN.

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45 Responses to “Tom Hardy on sexuality queries: ‘I’m just a bloke, I’m not a role model’”

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  1. Betti says:

    Yes and a mighty fine bloke too. We still *heart* you.

  2. Sixer says:

    See? Told you. He’s The Bloke.

    • Sixer says:

      PS: read the interview. He gives kudos to Sam Rockwell in Moon. I. Love. That. Film. So now I love The Bloke double.

    • Catherine says:

      The Bloke says he’s a bloke.

      I can understand why he was annoyed at that question at a press conference in front of loads of people, in a more private interview would have been more appropriate

    • Kitten says:

      He is MY Bloke, Sixer. Mine!!!!

  3. Lilacflowers says:

    Where’s the Bloke’s dog? I love the Bloke’s dog. The Bloke should always be pictured with his dog.

    • Betti says:

      Have you seen the recent interview with Alan Carr – he brings up the Instagram account that only has pictures of him and dogs, he then brings out dogs to take photos.

      • Lilacflowers says:

        Yes! I loved every second of it. But have you seen The Bloke’s dog Woody? Woody is awesome!

      • Betti says:

        Yes – great dog that looks so cool.

        My fave part was the final ‘dog’ and the Bloke was like (to the audience) ‘he’s coming out dressed as a dog isn’t he and I’m going to have to grab his balls’. hahahahahahaha

    • laura in LA says:

      TBH, I wasn’t that familiar with Tom Hardy until recently when I watched The Drop. The Bloke with that pitbull puppy? Too cute!

      Oh, and the movie was pretty good, too.

    • bettyrose says:

      Until recently, whenever I saw one of zillions of Tom Hardy snuggling a pup picture, my first thought was “why’s that guy in the picture?” But after watching Mad Max, I gotta say, there was a moment when I was like, okay, I get why the pups share the spotlight with him. Not bad. Not bad at all.

      And also, anyone who loves dogs as much as he does shouldn’t get hassled with sexuality questions. Maybe he doesn’t have time for humans. More power to him.

  4. snusnu says:

    This is kinda unrelated to the topic but Tom Hardy has the kindest eyes I have ever seen <3

  5. kitisa says:

    is that one of the Duck Dynasty dudes on his tshirt?

  6. Div says:

    I agree. Honestly, I was kind of side-eyeing Evan Rachel Wood because I thought she tweeted what might have been some passive aggressive shade about this today (the timing). I think it’s great when people like Ellen Page or Evan Rachel Woods become role models for the community, but I also think people have the right to keep their private life private and I don’t consider it “being in the closet or ashamed of his past” if he doesn’t want to discuss his sexuality. It’s unfair expectations on someone who didn’t sign up to be a role model. Nobody badgers straight as an arrow actors like Michael Fassbender on their romantic life if they have a history of not discussing it, but with actors who may or may not be straight it seems to become a defining aspect that all journalists bring up again and again. Plus, Tom’s married and expecting a kid at this point…so it seems strange to keep bringing it up.

    One of my closet friends is gay, we all know it and so does his family, but he never, ever talked about his personal life beyond a few scant details as his work place because he’s just a quiet, private type of bloke….when a work friend found out he was gay he got a pat on the back for “coming out of the closet” and my friend was like “I was never in the closet in the first place, just because I don’t have a rainbow sticker on my car and talk about my partner at work doesn’t mean I’m hiding.”

  7. Mary-Alice says:

    He is absolutely right and this whole stupid thing with turning actors imto crusaders has to stop. Acting is a job, for petes sake. They come, act, get paid a lot and go. To live their lives. If any of them chooses to stand behind a cause, sure, that’s an open season then but during the rest of the time he has every right to expect ro not be questioned on his OWN life. That he was once open and discussed it doesn’t mean at all that for the rest of his life he owes the reporters or the public intimate details! The question had nothing to do with the character or the movie, or plot, or developmemt or else. Everyone here was appalled by the ignorance of this person but the whole media has a less than stellar reputation when it comes to so called journalism. They are pushy, all is twisted to serve their cause and often has little to do with the art itself. We’ve seen it before bit first time at TIFF. The festival is about movies not about which hole someone uses during their leisure time.

    • EN says:

      Well put. I don’t know why but we started treating celebrities, including actors, as politicians last 10 years or so.

      Everything they say has to be above reproach, to the point where they can’t even speak anymore like normal people, They have to be coached like politicians, what is allowed to say and what not and how, and all the shades of meaning in different countries.
      Cumbebrbatch “colored” debacle and recent Emily Blunt citizenship remarks come to mind.
      Then there is this incident with Hardy and there was one with RDJ not that long ago.

      These people are not politicians, they are actors. Even if they choose to be role models, they can’t be held to the same standard as politicians for whom it is a full time occupation and who have staff to write and vet their speeches and every word.

  8. Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

    Damn right. Only athletes should be role models.

    • Ellie says:

      Athletes are finding themselves in the midst of terrible scandals just as much if not more than actors. It’s worse, often, because plenty of high-level athletes have been told their whole life that they’re the best, they’re amazing and they deserve the world, so they grow up thinking they can have it all. Considering numbers, it seems that there is a lot more issues of domestic and sexual violence perpetrated by athletes than actors (of course, a lot of it is swept under the rug, but that’s valid for both actors and athletes).
      And when it comes to sexuality, it’s even worse. They can hardly ever come out without being shunned from their sporting community; there is only a handful of out athletes in the US.

      /bitter because the Blackhawks and the NHL have just expressed support to alleged rapist Patrick Kane by letting him train with the team when he’s under investigation, so athletes right now are not really my favs.

  9. vauvert says:

    I am not even a Bloke fan but I loved his response – very intelligent and articulate and covering all the points of why his reaction was both natural and appropriate under the circumstances. That report was just plain wrong and just as Tom says, trolling fro a salacious retain in a room full of people. You have a question about the ROLE? go ahead and ask it, but don’t bring my damn private life into it. Well said Tom.

  10. Beth No. 2 says:

    Good for you Tom. His answer was long but it was well thought out and reasonable. He didn’t come across as defensive or bitter. I’m impressed.

    But are we sure this is the same Tom Hardy who wrote those epic My Space posts?! ;-)

  11. saywhatwhen says:

    But is it o.k. that I want to see Tom Hardy and Gerald Butler make out. Like am I a degenerate for wanting that? Because he was the seks in RocknRolla…principally because he was all kinds of ghey seksy.

  12. NUTBALLS says:

    I knew I would love this post because I love his interviews and you called this one “incredible”. There is something about a man (or woman) who know how to set boundaries with others and not be an ass about it. Tom does that well in his bloke-y sort of way.

    He uses a lot of words, but I’m picking up what he’s throwing down because he make really good points. I really like this guy.

    Agree with the poster above, he does have kind eyes.

  13. LauraH says:

    I really like him a lot but he is working in the film industry at a time where a lot of your product as an actor is some sort of brand, fame and a following. Its not solely about talent.

    If he can do what he does without really opening up and offering himself to people fair enough and great for him, but it’s unrealistic to think all celebrities can get far without doing so.

    If he resents how it all works maybe he would be better posed to work in low profile roles or on the stage.

    • Jellybean says:

      I honestly think only a small proportion of film goers care about the private life and opinions of actors, so I think you are wrong. I think he gave a good answer, but if he had just told the media hack to back off and failed to follow it up in any way, I would not have thought any less of him. I also think the press junket for films is the equivalent of car crash TV for filmakers; would an actor like Joaquim Phoenix be a working actor today if they had been around in its present form when he started? If the requirement for success in the Arts is an ability to conform to the fickle demands of social media then lord help us.

      • LauraH says:

        Oh I really agree with you on the Lord help us bit. Don’t you think though that for actors to get on our screens in the first place they’re hired for a film at least in part for their brand and fan base as well as their talent? Maybe we don’t all care about that when we go to see films but I think the studios do.

      • Jellybean says:

        Maybe you are right. I guess you would have to look at whether studios continue to hire actors who don’t play the game. Some of the worst offenders when it comes to the media are the most popular in the industry. Marvel still wanted Phoenix for Dr Strange, even though everyone knows he would be a disaster on a Marvel press tour. Maybe a poor personal profile and a bad attitude on set is the only career killer for a really talented actor.

      • Beth No. 2 says:

        “Don’t you think though that for actors to get on our screens in the first place they’re hired for a film at least in part for their brand and fan base as well as their talent?”

        I think this statement is especially for the big studio movies, particularly franchises, where commercial and box office potential are paramount.

        Thankfully there are also plenty of movies which value talent above any brand or fan base that an actor may bring. These are not just obscure indies – a good number of them have been nominated for (or won) Oscars. Last season, we have Patricia Arquette, Michael Keaton, JK Simmons – and they have none of the Tumblr type fanbase or any brand. And it’s not just the older actors, in previous years we’ve had Lupita, Rooney Mara, Jesse Eisenberg, etc – virtual unknowns before their breakout roles.

  14. snakecharmer says:

    id hit that

  15. Bethie says:


    He’s dreamy.

  16. Lucy says:

    I love him more every day. Sigh.

  17. JH says:

    Perfect explanation from my perfect, number one man-crush. He’s exquisite.

  18. Josefa says:

    “if destigmatizing sexuality is important, why make a big deal about it in the middle of a press conference?”

    As a LGBT woman all I can say about this is THANK YOU SO F*CKING MUCH. I’m so tired of people claiming to be so liberal and accepting when it comes to LGBT people yet gossip and make scandals out of anyone with a remotely ambiguous sexuality. Heck, this is horribly common among our own community.

    You know, I think Im starting to get the lust-ons for this guy…

  19. Happy21 says:

    But is he gay? I never ever heard that as even a possibility…

    I know it’s not our business and that’s fine and I don’t really care but now I’m curious.

    • Kelly says:

      No, he’s not! He really isn’t!!

    • meat says:

      There’s always a possibility that everyone is bisexual ;) .

    • KTE says:

      No, not gay. He has said some thing in the past that made people think he’d at least experimented with guys, though. His publicist has said that he was taken out of context/misinterpreted. This las led some people to believe that he essentially went back into the closet when he got to Hollywood.

      I really don’t care whether actors are gay or not. I do care if people are being pressured into the closet by Hollywood, or if openly gay actors are seen as less bankable by Hollywood studios and therefore not offered work. That’s a relevant topic for a LGBT publication to explore – but boy, did that guy pick the wrong time and place to try and have that discussion!