Salma Hayek in custom Gucci at the British Fashion Awards: saloon-girl fug?


I’m splitting up the photos from last night’s British Fashion Awards into two posts. So if you don’t see the person you wanted to discuss, they are probably on the second post. Just FYI. The British Fashion Awards were held in London, and this year’s event got a really good turnout.

If you’re still reeling from Salma Hayek’s breast tragedy on Sunday night, you’re in luck! She also brought her girls out for the BFAs. This “custom” Gucci is incredibly unflattering, but hey… at least we’re just getting too much cleavage, as opposed to her look at the Evening Standard Theatre Awards, which involved her breasts nearly coming out of her gown. This Gucci just makes her look like a saloon hooker in the 19th century. Controversial opinion: after a certain age, women should not wear pink ruffles.


Here’s Victoria Beckham wearing a tuxedo of her own design. Would this have looked better with a white blouse underneath instead of the black tee? Hm. David wore Burberry, and his tux looks great. I still can’t believe he’s the reigning Sexiest Man Alive though.


Speaking of Burberry, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore this slinky Burberry number. I kind of think the tailoring is off – it should not be so slouchy at the side. But other than that, I love the simplicity of this. Her styling is on point too, I love her hair here.


Alexa Chung in Erdem Spring 2016. This sh-t is a mess. The shoulders are all wrong for someone built like Alexa, and that skirt is a disaster.


Naomi Campbell in what seems like a Burberry lingerie piece. Too nightgowny and lacy for evening wear, but hell, it’s Naomi. What are you going to do?


For real question: why does Rita Ora have access to Chanel? I mean, Chanel tries to be elite. Why would they dress Rita Ora for the British Fashion Awards? Is it because the dress isn’t all that special and no one better wanted to wear it?


Noomi Rapace in Givenchy. My God. This is a total mess too. WTF is Riccardo Tisci doing to the House of Givenchy? This is SO BAD.


Photos courtesy of WENN.

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57 Responses to “Salma Hayek in custom Gucci at the British Fashion Awards: saloon-girl fug?”

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  1. BendyWindy says:

    Maybe I’m seeing things, but every one of the women look like they’ve jacked with their faces. I love Posh’s tux.

    • Miss V says:

      No, you are absolutely right! They all look too tight in the face. Rita Ora looks so weird. She must have done a lot of tweaking because she looks so different.

      • Lama Bean says:

        Ha! I just said “wow maybe I’m seeing things that aren’t there but Rita looks…different”. I guess I am not as crazy as I thought….about this.

    • mimif says:

      Did VB get a very subtle nose job after all these years?

      • Pandy says:

        Yes, I think she did get some work done on her nose – turned it down a bit. It looks good but not quite like her. Don’t care for the black tee under the tux. RHW looks fantastic and I really like Alexa Chung’s dress too. Ricardo Tisci should be fired at this point lol.

        Salma Hayek – Miss Kitty called. She needs to work her shift in the saloon so please give back her dress.

      • Locke Lamora says:

        A new nose job? Because she had one years ago.

  2. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    Ok, fashion designers. Just stop it. I can see you’re bored with the whole thing. I see you grasping at new and exciting concepts – Sheer coats! Pointy! Netting! Fabric in weird places and nothing in places where fabric should be! Overdresses! Just. Stop. It. Go back to making pretty or striking or elegant or fun, wearable, not stupid looking clothes because this is one of the worst years of fashion I have seen and I lived through the 70s.

    • LadyMTL says:

      LOL, I lived through the 80’s, though thankfully I was a kid for most of it and so avoided the linebacker shoulder-pad look, and I agree that fashion is really getting stupid now. I understand that the celebs can get away with wearing looks that we “mere mortals” never would, but still! It’s soooo bad! The only piece I like is Posh’s tux.

      Don’t even get me started on the whole nude-illusion cra*p that we see everywhere. Ugh.

    • vauvert says:

      LOL – thank you GNAT for saying it. I remember being a kid in the seventies and looking through my grandmother’s pre and post-war fashion mags. My God, the gowns were divine. I remember impeccable tailoring, elegant details, fitted silhouettes, fine fabrics. Now all you see is netting with T&A pushed in our faces, frumpy tailoring and a lack of structure that is what you expect in cheap stores, not designer couture. What happened? Did any of these people actually study design? And who do they employ to make them? Givenchy needs to go bankrupt, I see now that Tisci doesn’t just hate Kim, he hates all women equally. His clothes are just atrocious. And whoever dresses the beautiful Salma has to take time and reflect on a wasted life. Ruffles on her generous bosom? For why?

      ugh… going to get dressed in my nice, well fitted Talbots’ cashmere sweater and jeans and know I look better. (This is me being smug right now…)

      • I Choose Me says:

        My God, the gowns were divine. I remember impeccable tailoring, elegant details, fitted silhouettes, fine fabrics.

        Yas! I love watching classic movies just for the fashion porn alone.

      • Jan says:

        Thank you, vauvert. You said everything I was thinking. Givenchy is a joke now – Hubert Givenchy and Audrey Hepburn are rolling over in their graves with what Tisci has done to Givenchy. Noomi looks like a mafia widow here and we all know he dresses Kim like either an upholstered chair or a lingereed hooker. Ugh.

      • johio says:

        When I watch an old Audrey Hepburn movie, with REAL Givenchy, I think if he could, he’d come back from the grave and strangle the jackass ruining his name. Watch How to Steal a Million and realize that everything Hepburn wears would look better than 95% of what is being worn now. And it was made 50 years ago.

    • Azurea says:

      Yeah, GNAT! When I perused these pictures, I just thought, “How the hell is *designer* fashion still a thing?” I still think they are pulling our collective legs & laughing all the way to the bank.

  3. Zip says:

    Ruffles are a big NO, no matter how old the person is who’s wearing them.

  4. Size Does Matter says:

    Salma’s in the doghouse for something. It’s the only possible reason she’s been sentenced to fashion fuggery.

    • tealily says:

      The weird thing is that she still somehow looks lovely. Not the dress, the dress is awful, but she looks really comfortable and happy in it.

  5. hd99 says:

    so much fug!

  6. Laura says:

    I’m gonna say it. Salma & Posh look the best in this lot.

  7. lucy2 says:

    Yikes to all of it. LOL, Noomi looks pissed she got stuck wearing a Kim Kardashian cast off. The only one with potential is Rosie’s, and that I think is too low cut and wide, and strangely loose on the side.

  8. Nev says:

    Naomi and Rita and Victoria look great!!!!

  9. What's inside says:

    Hate every last one of those fashion pieces and agree with Kaiser.

  10. theotherviv says:

    So grateful Kaiser had words to describe Salma – because- I…Have…No…Words. Nada. WTH?

  11. leigh says:

    Selma has great boobs. That dress is, perhaps, an attempt to show them off. Those ruffles are NAGL though.

    The Erdem dress on Alexa looks like a toddler got made at her Mum and took some scissors to the curtains. I’ll pass.

    • Hadleyb says:

      She needs to get smaller implants to wear these type of clothes. She is small and her implants are way too big, plus she has natural breast tissue so its too much boob.

      Huntley girl is horrid looking, she never closes her mouth ever. Stop the lip filler.

      • tealily says:

        Yes. She’s always been curvy, but this is insane. Incidentally, why is she around again all of a sudden? Is she working on something, or is she just showing us her new boobs?

  12. littlemissnaughty says:

    What is happening here? They all look … off and slightly crazy. Except Rosie, she looks good but if a dress gives a girl like her flat breasts, it’s not the greatest cut. Salma is a treasure though, bless her. Money apparently can buy many things but taste is not one of them. I don’t even remember her style before she married the rich guy, was is better? I don’t remember ever thinking of her as wacky. Until now.

  13. LA says:

    Riccardo Tisci is awful, for sure, but WHY do stylists keep putting clients in these gowns?!

  14. Sara says:

    The person who wrote this article must have some really basic taste. Alexa’s dress is amazeballs. I’ve noticed that a lot of people on this site like really boring simple crap though.

    • Maum says:

      Wow. Bitchy much?

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      We do, we really do. That’s what happens if you grow up a peasant. Or maybe (and I can only speak for myself now) I don’t care about pretending to understand fashion “art” for the sake of appearing super edgy and sophisticated while looking like a mangled sofa, trying to pull off the craziness that is happening on Alexa. All hail the basic elegance!

    • I Choose Me says:

      You mad bro?

      It’s called having an opinion. Chill.

    • mimif says:

      Boom! You win bitchiest comment of the day.

      I think Alexa’s hair & makeup look great here. The dress looks like the holiday fabric my grandmother adorns her mantle with.

    • Holmes says:

      Jesus, people like you are the reason I quit working in fashion. Some people’s taste leans to the avant garde, some people’s leans to elegant simplicity (or “basic,” if you prefer to be nasty about it). It’s personal preference. One is not better than the other.

      And anyway, the author is not wrong about Alexa’s dress. It is an “amazeballs” dress, but the dress is wearing her. Pretty funny that you dragged “basic” into it, since it doesn’t get more basic than Alexa Chung.

      • Sara says:

        lol please. The people on this site spend almost every day arguing about the length of Kate middletons dresses, I don’t think they have any opinions worth anything.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      If basic means good taste, I’ll take basic any day of the week. Creativity to the point of cartoon is nothing to encourage.

  15. Naddie says:

    OH DAMN! Is that Rita Ora again? I swear she’s like the ghost in an horror film: you see it everywhere but you want it to go away. The difference is that the ghost has a function.

  16. Locke Lamora says:

    I love Victoria’s tuxedo and Alexa’s dress. I think they look great.

    And can we stop with the Rita hate? She’s a decent singer/pop star. If celebrity offspring a la Depp’s daughter get to wear Chanel, why wouldn’t a person who actually got famous on their own?

  17. vava says:

    Ewwww…. I don’t like any of these garments. What is happening to Erdem? That fashion house seems to be releasing such ugliness these days.

  18. Mimz says:

    No comments on Salma’s hideous (ok it’s a comment comment!) dress.
    Posh looks nice.
    About Rita, I think it’s always better to dress her than, say, Miley Cyrus – which, btw, Kaiser, are going to make a post about her latest er… stuff? although I can imagine it’s so NSFW that you can’t post any image here, but we’d still be able to discuss!

    • Lady D says:

      Are you referring to her latest concert? There are no words. Another Disney child going off the rails for our entertainment. I really, really wish someone would help her.

  19. SamiHami says:

    “Controversial opinion: after a certain age, women should not wear pink ruffles.”

    Yes, and that age is six.

  20. genevieve says:

    Selma looks like the lead in a group of (lady) singers on the Laurence Welk show. All the other ladies will be wearing the exact same dress, in different but harmonious pastel shades.

  21. eo says:

    That Burberry dress makes Rosies boobs look like shit though. Also Rita is not the right build for this kind of dress, Alexa would have worn it better.

  22. Lucy says:

    Posh is my favorite here. Salma, bless her heart, looks like she’s filming the remake of Wild Wild West.

  23. I Choose Me says:

    So I’m nodding along thinking, don’t like the colour of Salma’s dress and I’m so with you on the ruffles antipathy then I scrolled down and great googly moogly! It’s too early for so much fug. Every single outfit is worse than the one before.

    And now having seen the rest, Salma’s doesn’t seem that bad.

    Hm, having looked again, Rita Ora’s not bad in comparison either.

    Oops, completely overlooked Victoria so dazzled are my eyes by all this fashion fuggery. Ms. Beckham looks polished as per usual.

  24. OTHER RENEE says:

    This is why Cher no longer attends red carpet events. Everyone else has taken her place in looking stupid.

  25. Jaded says:

    Salma just needs to put her hair up and a hat piled with feathers and and she could be Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke.

    VB is the only one with taste, the rest look like their stylists were suffering an overdose of Harlequin Romance meets grandma’s lace curtains. Bad, bad, bad. I’m sick of bewbs showing and see-through and lace and specifically Erdem. I need more coffee now.

  26. anne_000 says:

    Why does Selma’s dress look like it was made from fondant or marzipan?

    I’m glad Naomi looks like an idiot. She’s such a mean biotch.

  27. cakecakecake says:

    the size of Victoria’s legs scare me, geesh.

  28. Pondering thoughts says:

    Shorter sleeves.
    And a less full skirt or some kind of straighter skirt or pencil skirt part below the waistline – and it would look great.

  29. redd says:

    Naomi Campbell. The Bride of Frankenstein.

    And haven’t you noticed? Salma has needed to fire Mae West or whomevertheF has been dressing her, for sometime now.

  30. Rockin Robin says:

    Everyone looks awful. Selma hurts my heart considering how pretty she is…smh