Tina Fey: ‘This society is raising children who want to be famous for nothing’

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Ordinarily, The Edit’s editorials are some of my favorites of all the fashion magazines, but I kind of hate this Tina Fey photoshoot. The vibe is very “aging socialite in her gilded apartment,” and if it was being done ironically, for humor, it would have been cool. But they just did it as a straight fashion shoot and it doesn’t work. So, I was prepared to not like anything about this, but as it turns out, Tina’s interview is amazing! The thing about Tina Fey is that my default setting is “I love her” but every now and then, I do wonder if it’s possible that Tina is overrated. And then an interview like this comes along and I remember: “Oh, yeah. She’s really cool.” It’s not that she’s the most quotable person or that she’s some amazing truth-teller, but she’s just honest, self-aware, hard-working, and concerned about what values she’s passing on to her daughters. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:

Beauty versus humor: “For me it was about hitting age 13 and realizing, ‘OK, I’m not going to glide by on looks. I’m a normal-looking person, but that’s not going to be where my bread is buttered.’ The desire to be funny – because you are never actually quite sure if you really are funny – is a coping mechanism, another way of ingratiating yourself. But when you’re 13 and trying to be funny around boys, you end up mocking them and it backfires. You terrify them.”

Her daughters, Alice (10) & Penelope (4): “My daughters will tell you that I’m exceedingly dull – the fourth funniest person in the family. My four-year-old is rivaling my husband for first place at this point. The ability to be very cutting that I have – to size someone up and think, ‘This would hurt you, if I said this’ – she has it already at four. And it’s shocking to me. I secretly regard it as a sign of great intelligence, but it’s something that must be managed.”

The Real Housewives: “Sometimes I like to watch those Real Housewives TV shows, and Alice will be there and I’ll say, ‘See how these ladies have put all this goop in their face, isn’t that funny? That’s silly, right? Why would they do that?’ And that is hopefully going to be the thing that keeps me from doing it.”

Tina was always the Mean Girl: “I was, I admit it openly. That was a disease that had to be conquered. It’s another coping mechanism – it’s a bad coping mechanism – but when you feel less than (in high school, everyone feels less than everyone else for different reasons), in your mind it’s a way of leveling the playing field. Though of course it’s not. Saying something terrible about someone else does not actually level the playing field. If I meet a girl of 14 or 15 today who is that kind of girl, I am secretly, in my body, afraid. Even though I’m 45.”

Famous for nothing: “I try to show Alice and Penelope patience and generosity – patience I fall short on – and that they can be working women and have a family. And yet – I joke about this with my husband – we spend so much time in front of them complaining – ‘I wish I didn’t have to go back to work’; ‘I’m so mad I have to work tonight’ – that I feel like inadvertently they’re going to be layabouts on government assistance. When Alice was small, I would bring her to the 30 Rock set because I wanted to show her why being famous is the least important part of anything; it’s a by-product. The making of a story, creating characters, building sets – these are the really cool parts. Because this society is raising children who want to be famous for nothing, to just have followers.”

Body hair: “Body hair is a constant annoyance. Mostly I just let it be. Until I have to go into a professional situation and then I have to shave from head to toe.”

The internet: “Steer clear of the internet and you’ll live forever. We did an Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt episode and the internet was in a whirlwind, calling it ‘racist’, but my new goal is not to explain jokes. I feel like we put so much effort into writing and crafting everything, they need to speak for themselves. There’s a real culture of demanding apologies, and I’m opting out of that.”

[From The Edit]

She also had nice stuff to say about working with Alec Baldwin and what kind of great “old Hollywood” advice he gave to her on the set. She’s also an old-school fan of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and she says Thom Filicia decorated her apartment. That alone would be a show worth watching: Tina Fey and Thom Filicia decorating something together. I would totally watch that. As for everything else… I love that she admits that she was the Mean Girl, and that it was a defense mechanism when she was younger. I love what she says about her daughters and showing them what work looks like. Tina is great!

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Photos courtesy of Sebastian Kim/The Edit.

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137 Responses to “Tina Fey: ‘This society is raising children who want to be famous for nothing’”

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  1. InVain says:

    Love her!! Loved seeing her and Amy (and Maya) back on SNL last night….though the material just reminded of how far that show has fallen. Some chuckles here and there, but eh… I’m half tempted to see that idiotic movie they have coming out, just because I love the way they play off of each other.

    • Susan says:

      I saw it last night. It was funny. Not earth shattering but not as bad as I was honestly expecting. The previews did not do the movie justice. Just watch out for the SW crazies at the theaters. It was annoying!

    • joan says:

      This is a woman who was attacked in her front yard as a little girl by a crazy guy — with a knife. Slashed on her face.

      She still has the scar, near her mouth.

      But somehow she grew into this smart, funny, wise woman with a great perspective on life. Her “mean girl” tendencies might come from having survived that.

      • Nikki says:

        I never knew that about her, though I’d often wondered if she had a faint scar. I’ve considered her marvelously talented, intelligent, amazing, and kind, but your story blew my mind! Yes, you’d think she would have withdrawn from the world with fear. She’s gutsy! I also loved her resisting apologizing for her jokes. I think we go a bit far sometimes.

    • knower says:

      yes! I want to laugh cause they are truly talented but SNL…..the material on the show is SO hit-and-miss. Just like the movie they are promoting…you want to WANT to see it but you know in the back of your head that it will suck (but not bc of them, bc of the material). Anything with Kate McKinnon on SNL though usually can be saved.

  2. snusnud says:

    I dont think being cutting is a sign of any level of intelligence.It might be a personality trait (heavily influenced by the family ),unrelated to intelligence.I have been regarded as very bright in my childhood ( I dont know what happened later lol) and I was the sweetest kid ever.I have also known some very rude kids when I was a kid myself who were very “cutting”.Most of them had family issues and had heard their parents argue about other people and memorized those words.

    • PinaColada says:

      +1 same same. It’s personality and influence from family. I was always testing “far above average” and in honors/advanced everything. And I never, ever was mean to anyone. I still don’t like when people make mean “jokes” as an adult. It’s not intelligence at all to be mean, for chrissakes

    • Birdix says:

      There’s a cleverness to it, and it requires an ability to think on your feet. But a bigger part of it is being the person who cares least what people’s reactions are. You can’t be a “pleaser” and also be cutting, no matter how intelligent you are. There’s a power in that indifference. You see it here too when she says she feels little need to apologize for jokes that offend.
      I don’t admire the weakness that leads to the mean streak, but I do admire (or wish I had a bit more of) the indifference.

      • bluhare says:

        Indifference is one of the greatest powers around. More people should use it — including me!!

        Loved your analysis.

      • tmbg says:

        I would pay to acquire the ability to be indifferent. Everything gets to me and even when something is intended as a joke, I overthink it and work myself up. It’s very annoying.

      • Carol says:

        I dont think Tina was saying she felt indifference or didn’t care what people thought of her when she was the ‘mean girl.’ It was the opposite. She did care what people thought if her and her defense mechanism was to be a mean girl. You dont need to be clever to be a mean girl.

      • Greenieweenie says:

        I agree that there’s a skill to it that is both learned and innately perceptive. I had to actively resist this once I got married because I refused to get in the habit of tearing someone down in anger even though that was really my only model for disagreement. It was a tough skill to unlearn–but it’s destructive. Cleverness isn’t positive in itself.

    • Sugar says:

      I don’t think she’s necessarily saying cutting is a sign of intelligence. She’s saying that meeting a person and quickly assessing what motivates them and what they’re proud of that could be swiftly taken down with a well-chosen word is a sign of intelligence. It’s deeper than a cutting remark because it goes straight to the heart of someone.

      • snusnud says:

        Being a good observer and focused doesnt necessary mean being intelligent.Since many people are predictable and walk around like raw nerves its very easy even for a child to see what motivates them.I think Tina’s kids have picked this trait from her,observing people.That’s what comedians do.

      • lucy2 says:

        Agree sugar.

      • Susan says:

        Agree sugar. Reading people is a gift. As with most gifts, it can be used for good or bad.

      • sherry says:

        But what kind of person does that? I don’t meet someone and think, “Hmmm. What is this person’s weakness that I can exploit and make them feel bad?” That’s not my default train of thought and I don’t think it’s the default train of thought for most people.

        I like to think that most people are basically nice and not out to purposefully hurt others.

      • Bridget says:

        Being able to read people is absolutely a sign of intelligence. Don’t know why people are nit – picking this.

      • snusnud says:

        I think that few people possess the ability to truly read people .Most of the time what they are really doing its projecting or maybe create an idea of a person based on earlier experiences with someone with similar personality traits.
        I have always had impeccable intuition and I have been told I read people very well,since I was a child .I was a shy kid but I did not react on those thoughts that I had about people.I think it is a gift but I still dont think it has anything to do with being intelligent.It is just born,thats all.

      • Bridget says:

        Honestly, it sounds more like you don’t want this to be a sign of intelligence because you want niceness to be an indicator of intelligence.

      • snusnud says:

        You are hearing this wrong then.I said since the beginning of the post that personality traits are unrelated to intelligence.

      • ISO says:

        In our culture women are more valued for coming off as demure/sexy than for humor or searing insight. Hence the “cutting” type of remark is shocking. I just received a text from a new agey man who wanted to compliment me with a “I can feel into your radiance and know you already” type thing. I texted back, “was that a genetically modified message from Rumi, Svengali and Marijuana?” Yup. Won’t hear back from that one either…

    • sherry says:

      Being cutting, is being mean and being a bully. It is not a sign of intelligence. It’s a sign of not being a nice person and trying to lift yourself up by hurting someone else.

      • snusnud says:

        I agree with you Sherry.Most of the cutting people I have known are very resentful people who feel bad about themselves and try to bring it out in a manner of speaking that annoys me.They have mastered the art of cutting because they have resentful and negative thoughts most of the time.When I became depressed and felt miserable,some time ago,I spoke in that way as well and I feel very ashamed about it.

      • ISO says:

        I get that to an extent, but some people have a talent for exposure in humor that makes us laugh despite our morals or religion. If it’s uncontrollably hilarious, then is it “wrong” or “mean”? It’s not like a circle of kids throwing rocks and calling the chubby kid “fatso” or whatever; that’s overt mean and cruel bullying. I think some sarcasm has an healthy place in human semantics, I just haven’t written a clear thesis.

      • Nic919 says:

        Being mean and being intelligent are not mutually exclusive. There is also a difference between bullying and being witty.

    • Bridget says:

      She’s not saying that you have to be cutting to be intelligent. She’s saying that she’s noticing an astuteness, a sharpness of mind, an ability to quickly evaluate and react in her daughter.

    • Redd says:

      Agree. “Cutting” is a euphemism for being bitchy, that’s all. We all knew some intellectually challenged mean girls. I think she’s fooling herself regarding intelligence. It’s like people who say arrogance is confidence, but usually the narcissist types have the thinning skin.

      Insult comedy, like a roast, is something else. That is a craft. But I don’t think that’s what she is referring to.

  3. Swack says:

    Of course girls are seeing all these reality “stars” thinking they, too, can make money easily. Boys not as much because these shows focus mainly on the women.

    • vauvert says:

      True, but I strongly disagree with the fact that society raises children. No, you, their parent, are raising them. Yes, social media and the internet have changed things but not as much as people claim. Think about most people who lived before the industrial revolution which made travel easier and more affordable. They lived close together in small communities where everyone knew everyone’s business, gossip was a major form of entertainment and a “bad” reputation could get you killed. And people still raised kids, some of whom became good, upstanding citizens. Others… not so much.
      So instead of claiming that the end of time is near and are kids are all brainwashed, how about we all accept responsibility for the lives we brought into this world and actually parent. (Sorry, rant over… not directed at anyone in particular, just a general fed upiness with the ‘it’s everyone’s fault but our own if the kids turn out rotten.)

      • Caz says:

        Agree. Tired of people blaming “society” instead of themselves.

        Have I read this article right….it’s not OK to want to be famous for doing nothing but it’s OK to be a Mean Girl? Being mean is a “disease” instead of a conscious decision to be nasty?

  4. AmyB says:

    “Famous for nothing”….love Tina Fey. That is my biggest complaint with reality television. I am a firm lover of great movies, great television programs, and great acting. What I am not in favor of is people….like the Kardashians, who are famous for NOTHING. They are a foul-mouthed, uneducated group of superficial narcissists that have nothing to do with true entertainment. Tina was very accurate in saying:
    “Because this society is raising children who want to be famous for nothing, to just have followers.”
    She is spot on correct and good for her that she is trying to show her children more than that.

    • knower says:

      I view reality tv and its audience as a litmus test for the human population. If I meet someone who likes reality TV, it probably provides some insight about them (not so great insight). See: Kardashian fans.

      Basically, it helps because I can rule them out really quickly.

      • Josefina says:

        I’m not a fan of the Kardashians personally, but I have friends who watch their show and can have a perfectly intelligent discussion about politics and the like. They know the show is stupid and just laugh at it.

        I don’t have anything against reality TV. Watching it is like a brain massage. The problem starts when that’s all people watch, and start taking them seriously. I’ve seen kids on facebook having ferocious discussions about Geordie Shore. That’s not okay.

  5. Felice. says:

    I hope she didn’t actually joke about someone’s mom’s pill addiction then like in 30 Rock.

    • Charlotte15 says:

      @FELICE. did she really say that on 30 Rock? I always watched it and I don’t remember that BUT I have a terrible memory and I’m sure you are right.

      I’ve noticed recently that there are a lot of “jokes” about painkiller addiction and even just references to various pills like Vicodin or Percocet all over the place in TV and movies, being talked about as a way to have “fun” just like alcohol, and I am always sort of surprised and appalled at how casually some people talk about it. Like I am surprised that it even gets approved to be in the script/air on the network/etc.

      It ruins lives and shouldn’t be used as a punchline, IMO.

  6. Kitten says:

    Yay! Love her. Great interview but awful pics.

    • Emma - The JP Lover says:

      I just don’t see anything wrong with the pictures. I think she looks classy and lovely and I don’t see the clothes in the shoot as “aging socialite” at all. LOL! Probably because most ‘aging socialites’ today are dressing like teenagers. 🙂

  7. InvaderTak says:

    Well, if “society” is raising kids these days then, yeah of course they’re going to want to be famous for nothing. But maybe if parents are doing the raising, then kids might have better luck ya know?

    • Minxx says:

      I only wish parents actually raised their kids instead of letting everyone else (particularly the Internet and TV) do the job.

      • InvaderTak says:

        Yeah I hate that it’s some kind of revelation to people that pop culture is junk and that parents need to be the example in their kids’ lives. It’s not society’s job to raise your kids and the people who go on about “it takes a village” can shove off.

    • claire says:

      I wish parents would raise their kids, omg. That would be the dream. Then maybe teachers could teach, parents would be less butthurt, and we might stop actually dumbing down our population.

    • HH says:

      Parents do need to be the primary influencer in a child’s life, however, we should also acknowledge just how much info kids have access to. And, they can access it easily. The Internet and social media changed the game. I can’t imagine being a child, particularly an adolescent or teen, in this day and age. With that parenting has also changed.

    • Josefina says:

      Oh God, this. I hate when people go around saying the Kardashians are such bad role models and they should take resposibility for the teenagers who look up to them and stuff. Girl… a well-parented daughter wouldn’t be looking at Kylie Jenner as a role model.

    • Betsy says:

      Every child in every land has been reared in part by society. It is impossible to not be influenced by the culture in which you are reared.

  8. Loulou says:

    “There’s a real culture of demanding apologies, and I’m opting out of that.”

    I absolutely love this. You do you, Tina.

  9. lucy2 says:

    Does anyone remember the high school reunion episode of 30 Rock, where Liz was afraid to go because they were so mean to her in high school, but then it turned out she had been the mean girl to them? Reading this interview, feels like Tina really pulled from her own experience in that. I think it’s good to recognize that she was that way, and understand why.

    The photos are a little weird but she looks good.

  10. Minxx says:

    Seriously, I love everything that comes out of Tina’s mouth. I can even relate to the “Mean Girl” comment and, especially, to the apology comment. The photos in this article though are terrible.

  11. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    Being a mean girl may be a defense mechanism, but I wish she was sorrier for it. I don’t believe that it’s all about feeling less. Part of it must feel good, too, and I’ve never liked people who took pleasure in hurting other people. Everyone, or almost everyone, feels less about something at that age, but not everyone chooses to feel better by hurting other people. She seems to have no idea or concern about the pain she caused. The same with her refusal to apologize if someone finds a joke offense. That’s the common fallback for people who don’t care about the feelings of other people – oh, everyone has gotten so sensitive, you can’t even call people *derogatory term* anymore… I find her cold and making excuses for her own unkindness. I don’t particularly admire that.

    • Who ARE these people? says:

      I tend to agree. Did she grow out of being a mean girl or did she find a way to make it work (and make money) for her? If her cutting remarks are funnier than other, less talented people’s cutting remarks, they’re still cutting remarks.

    • Kat says:

      ITA. Couldn’t have said it better. She’s a gifted writer/comedienne, but I hate how cold “IRL” Tina is.

    • Locke Lamora says:

      Well, I like her less for being a mean girl. A lot less. And she doesn’t seem to be particularly sorry for it. I used to have major self-esteem issues in high school and was never rude or mean to anyone.
      I think you can see the mean streak in her even now.
      Can you imagine goig to school and the girl who was horrible to you becomes Tina Fey, lauded for being all “feminism and sisterhood”? Her old classmates must hate that.

    • bluhare says:

      I think the coldness is another defense mechanism. She might have the talent to size people up and cut them down if she chooses, but that doesn’t mean she’s cold inside.

      I was the victim of mean girl bullies, and I understand what she’s saying. No, you don’t have to hurt other people to feel good about yourself, and I don’t think she did at all. And I think people who do that feel so powerless they have to exert it over someone they think is less powerful than they are.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Do you mean she wasn’t mean? Because she “openly admits” that she was always the mean girl. Or do you mean it didn’t make her feel good to be mean? I just wished she expressed more remorse about it. She seems to just blow it off, like, oh that – I felt less, so that’s why I was mean. No acknowledgement of harm done. Not that she has to beat herself up or grovel, but she doesn’t seem aware of the affect her meanness had on anyone but herself.
        When I was in the sixth grade, there were two girls who were the most popular and the meanest. They would pick a target and get everyone else to stop speaking to them and shut them out entirely. They did that to me, and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. Very traumatic. I sat by myself in the lunch room for weeks because nobody would talk to me, I stood by myself on the playground, I felt so ashamed and confused. I know it sounds silly now, but I was what – 11? It took a long, long time for me to get over the feelings that resulted from that. Yeah, it may have been because they felt “less” although I don’t know why either of them would – they were the prettiest and most popular, but who knows what was going on at home. But if I read an interview where one of them just excused themselves by saying it was a phase they needed to grow out of, it would seriously piss me off.

      • bluhare says:

        I didn’t say that. And our experiences are similar. They were also a long time ago GNAT. Yes, they stick with you; they stuck with me. But they don’t have to define us do they? I refuse to let them have that much power over who I am today.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Oh, of course you’re right, and they don’t define who I am today at all. But it did really hurt, and it took a long time for me to get to where I am now, or to even realize how much the experience was affecting me – into my thirties, maybe. Look, I know that way, way worse things have happened to people. I’m just saying that it would be nice to know that she realized how powerful her actions were. But maybe you have the answer – let her do whatever she does and just don’t give it any importance.

        P.S. You always have a great perspective on things.

      • bluhare says:

        I agree, GNAT. Perspective doesn’t happen overnight!

        And I’m showing your comment to Mr. bluhare who will roll his eyes in disbelief. He gets to listen to all the rants that happen before I get all zen about things!

    • INeedANap says:

      I don’t think she would have gone far in comedy, as a woman, if she wasn’t a Mean Girl. Comedy can be hostile to women and you need to be ready to cut a dude down like a rotting tree.

    • perplexed says:

      I have to admit I was taken aback that she was a Mean Girl. I’m not sure what kind of Mean Girl she actually was as she didn’t go into detail, but I don’t think positively about the people who were mean in high school. Maybe they grow out of it, but I never understood why they had to be that way.

      • Colette says:

        I equate Mean Girl with Bully.If she was a bully ,my empathy goes to the people she bullied .The people she made life miserable.The people she affected their self esteem. Again I said IF she was a bully.

    • Bridget says:

      She may very well be sorry (and if you ever saw the 30 Rick episode on this subject I’m guessing she is) but I think there’s just a little public/private delineation going. The subject is actually pretty old and she probably didn’t feel like she needed to go into great depth on it in this interview. Plus, if she’s apologetic about it to the people she actually knows, what are we, the public entitled to?

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        She just doesn’t sound very aware to me. She views her own daughter’s ability to cut people to the core as a sign of deep intelligence. I’m not saying she’s evil. I don’t even dislike her. I just don’t admire meanness in people, or excuse it quite as easily as she seems to.

      • Bridget says:

        Keep in mind, we’re reading exerpts of a single interview on a topic that Tina Fey has already talked about. The woman did an entire movie about the destructive relationships between girls and even here refers to it in terms of her own insecurity and unhappiness.

        As for the daughter – she refers to it as “shocking” and “something that needs to be managed”. Tina isn’t bragging that her daughter is a Mean Girl in training, but is instead hoping that her daughter is extremely intelligent and not just an a–hole in training.

      • Bridget says:

        Also, if you watch the episode of 30 Rock, Tina is utterly HORRIFIED to find out how mean she was.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        I’ll have to watch the episode. I liked 30 Rock, but never watched it regularly. And you make a good point that this was just a blurb and not the full picture of her feelings on the subject. You are a sweet defender! She’s lucky to have you in her corner.

      • Bridget says:

        I am also completely biased, because not only do I love Tina Fey, but I’ve definitely used cutting humor as an attempt to mask feeling less-than, because I had no idea how to connect with people otherwise. So what she’s saying here really speaks to me. And while I’ve mellowed out, I recognize that I’ll always be a little bit brittle (I like to say “complicated”) and in a society where we prize “niceness” for women over a lot of other qualities (and it’s super awesome for all the nice women out there, and they’re super awesome, I’m not knocking them at all), I really appreciate Tina Fey.

    • Tania says:

      I completely agree with you! The ability to tear people down without remorse is not something to be proud of and is frankly disturbing. I know someone who used to do this and you could see her eyes glimmering with pleasure at putting others down. That said, it contributes to my theory that many of those who are super successful are ruthless, cutthroat and not necessarily good people.

    • Marty says:

      Great comment GNAT, I agree.

      I’m pretty lukewarm on Tina. I can admire her for her accomplishments but it’s also clear from this interview that she approaches life from a great deal of privilege. Part of that generosity she’s trying to teach her kids should be knowing when you are wrong and being genuinely sorry about it. She seems to be missing that important perspective.

    • anna says:

      So true. I notice this alot when a person “well i was a stupid Kid” and they didn’t know better.
      How about the other 99% percent of the class that knew better not to bully or be mean.

    • Nina says:

      Well said. I consider myself intelligent enough, did quite well in school, but never felt the need to be mean to others. I see people’s motivations and size people up too but I don’t voice my opinions, because I don’t want to unnecessarily hurt others. It’s interesting that she equates meanness with intelligence, because I’d say, meanness is just a sign of, well, meanness.

      I think that comedians tend to have a cutting or angry side– for better or worse, it’s the ability to look at things and make fun of situations or people that is sometimes funny and occasionally, mean. And, oh well, poor Tina for being so unfortunate in her looks that she had to cut others down first before they cut her but I guess it’s served her well, so yay to bullying?

  12. JeanGray says:

    She’s right. As a mom to a teenage daughter, it seems like everything I ever taught her has gone out of the window. Her new, “cooler” influences are these instagram girls who get hundreds of likes for dressing and posing like bimbos. I call it the Kardashian effect. It’s a daily struggle trying to fight the negative influences in the media and internet. And taking away their cellphone doesn’t help. They can go online on their friends devices at school, etc and watch all these vapid shows like those Housewives franchises, Kardashians and Love and Hip Hop (that i dont even eatch at home) where they get this idea that acting like a fool for attention is like a job description since all these women are getting paid.

    • swack says:

      Hang in there. I have three daughters and it was a challenge even without the internet. Keep doing what you are doing. While it may not seem like it now, those lessons do stick. I have a daughter who became a mother at 16, did all sorts of drugs, dropped out of school and had a hard time holding jobs for any length of time. We stuck with her through good and bad and I think being their throught the bad/rough times helped. Many parents just give up at that point. My daughter today has a family of her own, owns a house and has had the same job for 10+ years now that she got as an intern while in school (she got her GED and went to a school that did medical billing and coding). She also doesn’t drink or do drugs of any type. It will get better.

      • JeanGray says:

        Thanks you. Your words have given me hope. My daughter is doing some of those things you have mentioned your daughter did. I try to hang in there hoping she will learn that life comes with consequences and hope she matures quick because adulthood is right around the corner and if she doesn’t straighten out, her consequences may make her life twice and hard as it is.

      • bluhare says:

        Good for you, swack!! I hope things improve with your daughter, JeanGray and I’m with swack. Don’t stint your principles. They don’t realize that crap has a shelf life and those idiots on those shows will be out of favor in a while. The Situation who? should be the take-away. You can have Lambos Bentleys and all that, but it all goes away and then the IRS comes calling.

        Sometimes I hear a fiddle and smell a little smoke.

  13. Bettyrose says:

    Life lessons from Romy & Michelle: we all felt bullied by someone and we were all regarded as a mean girl by someone else.

    • lisa2 says:

      I don’t.. I guess I had a unique High School experience. I wasn’t bullied and have never been regarded as a “Mean Girl”.

      That has carried over in my adulthood. I knew girls that were “mean girls”.. I never wanted to be their friends nor be like them. As I said.. I had a good high school experience.

      When you read Gossip blogs It is very easy to see how for some women they never grew out of that phase. And are still doing the same things they did all those years ago. Now their targets are Celebrities.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        I guess I could be wrong, but I can’t think of anyone who would consider me or any of my friends in high school to be mean girls. I went to a really small school, though, so there was really zero tolerance for that sort of thing.

      • Nic919 says:

        Were you passive aggressive in high school? Because your comment sure reads like that now. It is amazing how many totally perfect people went to high school and never said a mean thing in their lives ever.
        I may believe that not everyone was a bully or mean girl in high school, but no one has gone through that experience without saying at least one mean thing they regret later on. If you think otherwise you are lying to yourself.

    • Bettyrose says:

      Well, it’s possible Romy & Michelle isn’t the all-knowing handbook of life 😉
      but in my own case whatever bullying/mean-girling took place was within my own group. We supported each other and competed with each other and stayed friends into adulthood. I still find myself measuring my own accomplishments by my childhood circle. For better or worse. They inspired me to shoot higher and have been the source of self-doubt. No one bullied or forced me to judge myself against my friends, or them me, but nevertheless I can still relate to both sides of that coin.

      • Susan says:

        I probably have a ridiculous perspective to most of you here but I was TERRIBLY bullied and meangirled in junior and high schools and despite it being a dark period of my life, it has made me such a RICH (emotionally, not financially, lol) person. I can spot a liar and a “cutter” from a mile away and my peers and family marvel at my ability to assess people and situations. I clearly was not born with this gift, but from great pain comes great learnings. I would not trade that period of my life for anything because I have a perspective and strength I would not have otherwise.
        #didnotpeakinhighschool
        #peakinginmiddleage

  14. Nancy says:

    I agree with her to a certain extent. If she is talking about reality stars, the answer is obvious. I know Kim K would strongly disagree and insist she is the hardest worker in the world and has talent. LOL. I further believe the majority of the population are regular hard working people who goof on those who THINK they are famous. She’s getting rather serious isn’t she. Adorable though…..and smart.

  15. grabbyhands says:

    I feel like she is spot on about the parenting. No matter how good a job you’re doing personally, society, especially in the age of social media, is so pervasive that it still gets its tentacles in sometimes. I think one of the hardest jobs a parent can do is raise a kid that is able to tell the difference between knowing that they are loved and valued and being raised to be confident and secure in themselves and feeling like they are special snowflakes that can never be told no or anything less than gushing praise and that they should be able to have whatever they want simply because they want it.

  16. Gigi says:

    I have such mixed feelings about Tina. I think she’s hilarious and respect what she’s done for women in comedy. But I’ve always gotten that feeling that she is a mean girl pretending to be nice (whereas Amy is a nice girl pretending to be mean). Someone I met that worked with Tina at 2nd City said no one could stand her. I really don’t think it was a case of sour grapes but it could have been extreme loyalty to Rachel Dratch (who’s apparently beloved). Ultimately I don’t think you get to become the 1st female head writer at SNL and be good friends with Fallon by being super kind all the time. Which is fine I guess but she’s probably not my first choice as famous best friend.

    • Evasmom says:

      Gigi, bad blood between Dratch and Tina? Off to google….

      • Bridget says:

        Dratch was initially supposed to be on 30 Rock but was replaced by Jane Krakowski. Dratch was ticked. And if the Second City folks you’re talking about are mad over that, Tina Fey left Second City like a decade before 30 Rock.

      • lisa says:

        the character was rewritten and had much more contrast betw it and liz

        rachel made several appearances on 30 rock. i dont think tina screwed rachel over at all.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        Yeah, Rachel was on 30 Rock in 16 episodes. I don’t think she is on the outs with Tina.

    • OhDear says:

      I agree with your impressions on Fey and Poehler – from her book and interviews, Fey strikes me as one of those formerly dorky types who think that they’re better than “those girls/people” – smug and condescending. I don’t think that she has any obligation to be “nice,” but don’t get how she’s viewed as a paragon for sisterhood.

      Think Mindy Kaling mentioned in her first book how Poehler was extremely kind to her when they were writing for some show (think it was SNL)?

      As for Dratch, though, I thought the reason that she was replaced is because network executives didn’t think she was attractive enough.

  17. pinkparasole says:

    Mean Girls was her peak. Maybe her Sarah Palin impersonation on SNL, but she has done nothing of note after that. If you can’t be funny without being racist, then you probably aren’t that funny. Tina writes non-white people like she’s never met more than 4. And as of late she writes white women like she has disdain for herself. Latest movie sucks.

    • Renee2 says:

      Thank you!!!!! Tina Fey always struck me as being an asshole when she was on SNL doing Weekend Update, and I never understood how she never got called out for all of the racist “jokes” she would make on 30 Rock, or how she was heralded as this uber feminist when she had one other staring role for a woman on the show. She read Tracy Morgan the riot act (and rightly so) when he made those homophobic remarks in his stand up act but she feels she doesn’t need to explain when people call her out for being insensitive when it comes to matters of race??? She needs to GTFO and take all the seats.

      I also think that she needs to stop with the whole “I realized that I wasn’t attractive” shtick. Please. I think that her looks helped to get her where she is. I am not saying that she is talentless or that she knowingly capitalized on her looks to get ahead but she benefits from being considered to be good looking so its a bit ingenuous for her to act like she is homely or the overlooked plain Jane.

      • pinkparasole says:

        THIS to everything you said!

      • Nouveau says:

        All I know is she talks too much about her looks not to be slightly obsessed with them, whether critically or non-critically (or both). I agree she’s not that funny – Cecil Strong is better – and I didn’t even find her Sarah Palin thing that witty.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        “when she had one other staring role for a woman on the show”

        This is very narrow in scope. There were so many reoccurring and guest stars that were female.

    • KB says:

      You realize tv scripts are written by a team of people, right? It’s possible that Tina isn’t responsible for a single race based joke on 30 Rock or Unbreakable.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      30 Rock was on for 7 season! How can you write that Mean Girls was her peak? Not to mention Bossypants, which was a huge success. She has written and produced and starred in so many things that have been successful. Don’t let your dislike blind you and make you say things that are untrue, it hurts your argument.

  18. perplexed says:

    I think having a sense of humour or comedic instincts is a sign of intelligence, but I’m not necessarily sure about what she’s describing.

  19. lisa says:

    what everyone is describing as unapologetic cold indifference., i dont think men are ever described like that when they exhibit it.

    • Gigi says:

      Agreed. The 2nd City guy just said other than the director she was sleeping with to get parts and a couple friends she was cold to everyone else. Misogyny? Perhaps. Double Standard? Almost definitely. Look at some of the originals. Belushi biggest ass to women. Chevy- none of his castmates could stand him. Successful comedians aren’t always the nicest.
      As for Dratch yes she was supposed to be Jane’s role. It was years later but Dratch writes about the humiliation in her book about going from co star to bit part and then phased out.

      • Dangles says:

        A lot of people separate the art from the person.

      • Gigi says:

        Absolutely. If we only knew what kind of assholes these people are!

      • KB says:

        And you’re on the internet claiming a very successful, powerful woman made her way by sleeping with the boss. Who is the misogynist?

      • kate says:

        Well yeah, but that’s the difference. Even big fans of Chevy will tell you he’s a gigantic asshole, when Belushi was alive people called him out for being a douche (not so much after he passed).

        Tina comes off as unpleasant and cold, but because she’s a woman we all have to pretend she’s super likeable. She’s not, and that’s fine. It’s fine to treat her like we do men and say, yeah she sucks but I like her work.

  20. LK says:

    Two words – Amy Duggar. She’s DESPERATE to become famous for absolutely nothing beyond sharing DNA with a family who’s legacy is a spectacular fall from grace.

  21. Mira says:

    Love her and Amy Poehler. She looks kind of like Cindy Crawford in this photo shoot.

  22. Breakfast Margaritas says:

    But who is she to determine when fame is “deserved”. Fame occurs because you have something people like and they want to see it again. “It factor” has never been a quantifiable thing. You have it or you don’t regardless of what you do, dance, sing, act, tell jokes, perform magic tricks, sports, write, or be on reality tv. The folks complaining about others wanting to be famous for nothing need to have several seats.

    • Dangles says:

      True. It’s also a case of luck. Being in the right place at the right time. There are plenty of talented and attractive people who you’ve never heard of who could do what a lot of famous celebrities do especially in the acting field.

    • kate says:

      This. I mean, shows like those of the Kardashians or Real Housewives are awful, but so was rubbish like Two & a Half Men and According to Jim. I’ve seen some awful sitcoms where the cast are clearly reading all their lines off cue cards, that’s how much no one gives a crap.

      Reality TV is scripted. The cast has to learn their lines, hit their marks, show up to set etc. just like any other show. The fact that the result sucks doesn’t mean the cast is famous for nothing. They’re famous because they’re on a TV show. If being on a bad TV show or being in a bad movie means you’re ‘famous for nothing’, then the vast majority of actors are ‘famous for nothing’.

  23. Dangles says:

    I was a mean girl but I admit it. Yay me!

    I was impressed that she knew she wasn’t going get by on her looks at the age of 13.

    • Naddie says:

      While I don’t think it’s something to be proud of, I appreciate that she admits it! I’m tired of every damn celebrity whining about how much they were bullied in high school (not minimizing the effects of it, I just think they’re lying to be relatable). I believe only Tina and Chris Brown said they were not bullied.

  24. Steieblob says:

    Ugh…bad photo shoot and I do not like mean girls. Maybe she had some amends to make. And people wanting to be famous for no reason sounds like sour grapes.

  25. Nouveau says:

    She’s funny and very open with her comments but I always feel that her “art form” is quite reactive for some reason. Like she’s always in response to something rather than leading the conversation. I think Cecily Strong is very witty .

    Also, the high school clique/popularity thing is very American. In Australia, the UK, and other places HS isn’t such a scary place and it’s actually a great time to do a proper coming of age with your cohort rather than worrying about competing with others. But I think that might be changing.

  26. EscapedConvent says:

    Tina looks beautiful, but what an awful photo shoot! She looks like she knows it, too, in the pictures. The poses, the vibes are so awkward. That gilded apartment doesn’t fit her at all. On the other hand, she has gorgeous hair and the hair stylist did a great job.

    • JFresh says:

      Agree with all you said 100%. And I think Kaiser is right, it all could have worked if done ironically. But they want to portray her as beyond that now, apparently, since she’s officially made it and is a pillar of the showbiz world. Well that is true but still this is too much incongruence for the public to deal with. C-

  27. perplexed says:

    Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have made observational “cutting” comments about George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio — and I did laugh at the jokes (as did everyone else). I wasn’t averse to finding the jokes humorous and amusing. But I don’t think they necessarily noticed something that other people didn’t or were able to read these men in some unique observational way. Everyone more or less laughs at George Clooney and Leo D for their ways with women. I’ve read similar jokes on blogs and in the comments section. So that’s where I think she might be overestimating the intelligence bit with respect to cutting to the core of who someone is and sizing them up — most of what she and other comedians might observe, for instance, about other celebrities, is similar to what regular people observe, but regular people don’t have a platform to share those jokes. I don’t know why I’m feeling contradictory towards Tina Fey today, but I guess what I’ve found funny about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler is that they’ll say something out loud on a Golden Globes stage that the rest of us have been thinking, , but I don’t necessarily think that what they’ve thought up in terms of the actual joke is unique or ground-breaking in terms of observation. Whereas other people might have a filter, they don’t. Or where they have a platform, other’s don’t.

    Writing a comedy tv series obviously requires intelligence, but I don’t know if what her kid has really points to anything unique.

  28. mialouise says:

    I like her enough (only saw her work as, Palin on SNL, nothing since). I wonder what reaction a less beloved celeb would get if they stated they didn’t care if other people found their stuff racist, or used “layabouts on public assistance” in such a way. I think it’s an engaging interview, but sadly i’ve seen people shredded for statements like this. (Which id her point, i know….)

  29. HK9 says:

    I believe Tina when she says she she was a mean girl. I grew up with one (my cousin) and IMO there’s nothing inherently “intelligent” about being “cutting”. They practice on those weaker than they are and then use it as a defense as they age. Then they grow up with an inflated sense of self (which is anchored by the pride of the sh- they were able to get away with and alas low self esteem) meet someone who gives zero f-s and simply states the truth about their lack of character at an inconvenient (ie: public) time. This is when the admissions/backpedaling or sometimes actual willingness to change begins.

    My Aunt (who was one of the wisest, smartest and kindest people I have yet to meet and mother of the cousin stated above) said to me, most people mistake kindness for weakness- it doesn’t take much to be mean, but it does take something special to be kind. I have now realized many years after my Aunt’s death that she was absolutely right.

    Unless she’s actually done something to rectify the issue she doesn’t get any points from me one way or the other. It is what it is.

    • Pondering thoughts says:

      Very wise.
      I sometimes get mistaken for being weak just when I try to be nice.
      Then they try to abuse me / mistreat me.
      And then they find out that otherwise I am a true scorpio. *bigshiteatinggrin*

      Btw. some never come to that stage when they realise who pathetic they are when they abuse others.

  30. NeoCleo says:

    “This would hurt you, if I said this . . . I secretly regard it as a sign of great intelligence, but it’s something that must be managed.”

    I really admire her 99% of the time but she lost me with that one. Being cruel is just being cruel.

    • justagirl says:

      ^^^ That’s where I’m coming from too. I used to enjoy her a lot, but being unapologetic about being a mean girl is disappointing, especially from her.

      And, it’s one thing to be able to assess people in terms of general personality or communication style….but to take that the next step around the corner to the darker “this would hurt you, if I said this” – that’s not a ‘regular’ part of being good at judging people. That’s just mean to the core, if one’s first instinct is what could hurt another. Doesn’t matter if it’s not acted on, that’s still a nasty mean streak.

  31. Robin says:

    Having the ability to be cutting and immediately think of something that would really hurt a person you just met….that’s nothing to brag about and it’s NOT a sign of great intelligence. How arrogant of Fey to say that she “secretly” thinks her daughter’s “ability”, which she also just happens to have, is a “sign of great intelligence”. Good grief. That interview makes her sound like an unpleasant person with a very high opinion of herself.

  32. Pondering thoughts says:

    This society doesn’t give many chances to children whose parents aren’t fu***ng millionaires.
    This society doesn’t jail investment bankers althought those nearly derailed the world economy completely.
    This society underpays teachers and nurses and social workers but gives huge huge bonuses to investment bankers and asset plunderers who for the most part make to positive impact with that what they do and then they don’t even pay taxes.
    This society pays top notch actors more than it pays to those who develop new cancer medication. On the latter the pharmaceutical companies earn a sh**load of money but the researchers get a pittance. Same with engineers nowadays.

    Those who work hard every day don’t get no security of employment and hardly any benefits because employment laws have been deregulated to the point of non-existance but those who work hard pay taxes to the point of a seriously decreased living standard.
    Those who work for three or six monthes on a movie set can earn 8-figures even if the movie is just the average action blockbuster sh** with no artistic value at all.
    Those who make millions have countless possibilities of not paying taxes.

    This whole society is slowly going down.