Tori Spelling was a guest on Khloe Kardashian’s new talkshow, Kocktails with Khloe, and to say she was bizarre is an understatement. Her hair made her look like Magenta from Rocky Horror and I got the impression that Tori is trying to shock us into giving her more coverage, which obviously worked. There’s definitely a whiff of desperation about her lately, but I guess I don’t blame her considering she’s deep in debt and her latest gig is representing a psychic hotline.

Tori was playing truth or dare on the show when Khloe asked her the strangest place she’s ever peed. This was surely a setup because Tori had this elaborate disgusting answer.

You know how you have Khlomoney? Ok I have Terri. When Terri comes to visit she is cray cray and one of her things is she likes to pee and she pees like anywhere. Like she will piss under the table, everyone raise your legs, she will pee in a potted plant yeah. She doesn’t come out that often now that I’m a mother… Terri is super fun. I would literally if we were having the most amazing conversation, I would literally drink this glass and rather sit here and piss in it so we could continue our conversation than get up and leave you.

This is Khloe trying to make a disgusted face through the Botox.

I like to drink and I have a weak bladder, but I’ve never peed anywhere inside like that which wasn’t a bathroom, not even in college. I understand going outside when there’s nowhere else to go, I’ve done that, but to pee under a table to the point where you have to tell people to move their legs? To tell your friend to hold on so that you can pee in a glass in front of her? Now THAT will derail a conversation quickly, not stepping out to go to the bathroom for five minutes. And when you’re drunk enough to pee in your wine glass, isn’t that a recipe for disaster? You need those wine charms to mark your drink. Instead of a little bunch of grapes it should have a urinal on it to warn everyone that it’s pee, kind of like the “clean/dirty” magnet for the dishwasher.

And speaking of Khloe’s alter ego, Khlomoney, Khloe showed off the inside of her enviable walk-in shoe closet in the new Architectural Digest Magazine. (Sidenote: Khloe and Kourtney’s homes are modern looking and are not as tacky as I expected.) Sitting on a dresser was this custom green Birkin featuring the Monopoly dude riding a money bag and her nickname “Khlomoney” at the bottom. Now that’s tacky.