Ever since Orange-American John Boehner abruptly resigned his position as Speaker of the House last September – the day after his outright sobs in the presence of Pope Francis – he’s been in the wind. He gave his notice, ushered in his replacement (Paul Ryan) and Boehner was gone, poof, like a Cheeto Keyser Soze. But Boehner returned to public life briefly this week when he sat down for a discussion and Q&A session at Stanford University. The discussion went down Wednesday evening, and certain key phrases of Boehner’s talk were trending on Twitter all day Thursday. Which brings me to my theory of gossip, and my job: everyone gossips. Everyone thrives on gossip. Politics thrives on gossip. And these days, it’s difficult to differentiate between entertainment, gossip and politics. Which is to say… John Boehner delivered some really juicy gossip during his talk. Some highlights:
He doesn’t mind if you call him Boner: “You can call me boner, beaner, jackass, happy to answer to almost anything.”
On Ted Cruz: “Lucifer in the flesh. I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”
He’s friends with Kasich & Trump: Boehner described other Republican candidates as friends. In particular, he said he has played golf with Donald Trump for years and that they were “texting buddies.” His friendship with Ohio Governor John Kasich, however, was a little more ambiguous. “[Kasich] requires more effort on my behalf than all my other friends … but he’s still my friend, and I love him,” Boehner said…The former Speaker did say he would vote for Trump in the general election if he becomes the Republican nominee. He said he would not, however, vote for Cruz.
On Bernie Sanders: While stating that he disagreed with Sanders on all the issues, he also called Sanders a nice guy and the most honest politician in the race.
On Hillary Clinton: Early in the talk, he impersonated Clinton, saying “Oh, I’m a woman, vote for me,” to a negative crowd reaction. Later, he added that he had known Clinton for 25 years and finds her to be very accomplished and smart. Boehner also speculated about surprises that could come closer to the Democratic National Convention if Hillary Clinton’s emails became a larger scandal. “Don’t be shocked … if two weeks before the convention, here comes Joe Biden parachuting in and Barack Obama fanning the flames to make it all happen,” Boehner said.
I personally think Lucifer and Lucifer’s main homegirl (Kris Jenner) should be mightily offended at the comparison to Ted Cruz. At this point in the election cycle, I honestly have to change the channel whenever Cruz is on the screen, he makes my skin crawl to that level. I just don’t understand how people can’t see through his patronizing dickishness. It also goes to show you that even though the GOP is looking at a Donald Trump nomination head-on, they still can’t bring themselves to get behind Cruz. His coworkers LOATHE him. And Lucifer In The Flesh has already said many douchey words about Boehner.
As for Boehner’s gossip about Hillary Clinton… if some scandal breaks over the summer, I do wonder if Joe Biden would try to get elected from the floor of the convention. I don’t see Obama maneuvering it though.
Photos courtesy of Getty, WENN.