John Mayer announces that he’s ready to settle down, wants a meet cute: any takers?

John Mayer is surely watching the madness unfold as his ex girlfriend, Taylor Swift, trots her new British boyfriend around Europe for photo ops at various tourist spots. He’s also likely paid attention to his more recent ex-girlfriend, Katy Perry, and her new romance with Orlando Bloom. Katy’s occasional vacation photos and leaks to the press seem positively quaint when compared to Taylor’s blanket-the-press strategy. So John is feeling single, but more than that he’s feeling the pinch of no longer having a famous girlfriend to get him paparazzi attention. This has been his M.O. for years with girlfriends like Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston and of course his on-off-whatever thing with Katy Perry. He’s feeling that void, and he’s ready to settle down ladies! Mayer made this announcement on Watch What Happens Live:

Speaking on Watch What Happens Live on Tuesday night the 38-year-old singer said he’s ‘worked hard’ to get to a place where he might be able to settle down with the right woman.
‘I’m ready to roll, I’m older and more mature than I’ve ever been and the stage is set,’ said Mayer who has also been linked to Minka Kelly, Jessica Simpson, Mandy Moore and Jennifer Love Hewitt.

‘There’s nobody on the stage, but I’m excited for a meet cute…because I feel ready…I’m very protective of that zone because I know how much I worked and how hard I worked to get that zone there,’ rambled the guitarist, who has been dubbed ‘Mayer the Player’ in the past.

Adding: ‘So I’m single and I’m excited about the future’.

‘I’m excited about your future too, you’re dreamy electric cowboy,’ joked the show’s gay host Andy Cohen.

When asked if he had ever thought about making a ‘less sexy face’ while playing the guitar Mayer said: ‘It’s a pained sexual face now’.

The No Such Thing musician learned that Khloe Kardashian has his XO cover of the Beyonce song on her lovemaking playlist.

‘I did not know that. Totally 100 percent flattered,’ he said.

Adding: ‘How long is her playlist? Because if you’re a guy and you have a sex playlist, it should be a really long one’.

[From The Daily Mail]

You know if Katy Perry was still single he’d be stringing her along, like he did for years, but since she’s in a committed-ish relationship now he needs another famous woman to string along. Hopefully all the A and B listers are wise to his game now, but I’m sure there are a few real housewives and reality stars who would be up for it. Maybe that’s why he made the announcement on Bravo, he knows his audience.

Oh and in terms of that sex playlist thing, we’ve heard that John plays his own music while he’s having sex so I would imagine he just queues up his catalog.

Here’s a clip of John being flattered that Khloe Kardashian’s sex playlist includes his cover of Beyonce’s XO. He’s with the Grateful Dead’s Bob Weir, with whom he is currently touring on the Dead & Company tour. The groupies are likely different than John is used to. Notice that when Mayer claims that people think Freefaling is his song, not Tom Petty’s, Weir rubs his face.




Photos credit: WENN and FameFlynet

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46 Responses to “John Mayer announces that he’s ready to settle down, wants a meet cute: any takers?”

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  1. Tiffany says:

    All that talent in such a dickhead package.

    • Tate says:

      Lol. You said it perfectly.

    • Tris says:


    • HeidiM says:

      Co-sign %100

    • almondmilk says:

      Seems like after his trainwreck with Jennifer Aniston he got so much more virulent hate from women than he usually does.

      In fact while he was with her, he was receiving the best treatment of his life despite being known as a douchebag extraordinaire – as her fans loved doing that thing they always do…you know, saying whoever aniston is with is soooo much better and hotter than Brad (proving everytime, of course, that they STILL weren’t over it). She could have literally been with the hunchback of Notre Dame and they’d still say it. So yeah… he was loved by a lot of women back then for being relatable Jen’s perceived savior from loneliness and spinsterdom…and of course rival to Brad (in their minds only, lol)

      When he broke it off with her, 2x no less…like he once said in some interview…it was like he “was burning the American flag,” the grief he got. Lol

      I bet the Aniston thing was a nightmare, just navigating the necessary PR waters and trying to be her bf. Lawd.

      I always thought that kiss he shared with Perez Hilton (right before he got with Aniston), drove him straight into Aniston’s PR heavy embrace.

      People were SO excited about him saving Jen, they forgot about that very bizarre yet telling, smooch.

      • Tiffany says:

        Almond, I thought the cracks were starting to show before his relationship with Jennifer, the Playboy interview solidified it.

    • LeAnn Stinks says:

      Very well said, I was going to say he is an arrogant d-bag.

      While he may be talented, I always thought his singing sounded like unintelligible garbling. He really is WAY TOO impressed with himself and there are far more talented musicians out there.

    • I Choose Me says:

      Nailed it!

  2. OSTONE says:

    No gracias.

  3. Hudson Girl says:

    LOL. Does he need attention or something?! What on earth is he thinking? His fangirls are gonna go nuts.

    ps. Taylor’s objective is blanketing over Kanye’s video and attempts at press.

  4. tracking says:

    It’s amazing how many seemingly bright (well, bright enough) celebrities have fallen for him. I get musicians hold a unique attraction even despite looks–Chris Martin, say. But I would just think “player/walking STD” here.

  5. Christina says:

    Bella Thorne. She seems thirsty and freaky enough for his thirsty and freaky ways. (Eye roll)

    • HeidiM says:

      Jaysus, this could happen!

    • INeedANap says:

      Her lips have been plumped, right? I can’t watch her talk without focusing on that.

    • QQ says:

      ROTFLMMFAO That Is hilarious that I too threw her name out there for Wilmer Valderrama for the same reasons: I can’t think of anyone younger thirstier for him , It gives me LIFE that someone else thought she would go for this

  6. Maria says:

    he fully well knows that this is exactly what some unstable women want to hear. hard to blame him though when its working like a charm.

  7. Bridget says:


  8. Nancy says:

    Marriage is not for everyone. I’d put lover boy on the top of the forever single list.

  9. Tourmaline says:

    Ick city.

  10. embertine says:

    Hmm, let me give this some consideration:
    1) YIKES
    2) LOL NOPE
    3) *vanishes in a puff of smoke*

  11. Castor & Pollux says:

    I have never ever understood the appeal of John Mayer. I’m sure many people find him attractive, but I think he’s just…bleh. I think he’s a good example of talent increasing a person’s level of attractiveness. If he was just some dude, there is no way he’d be dating such beautiful women. Right?! And it’s not like he balances it out with a personality that’s even halfway decent. Please tell me there’s someone else out there who agrees with me that he’s like, a 4 at best!

    • Bebe says:

      You are asking this and mick Jagger is STiLL out there trolling for young ladies. There will always be girls who go for player type musicians. Look at Adam Levine.

    • mary s says:

      I agree with you! I’ve always wondered what his appeal was. He’s on the attractive side, but without a good personality he falls to below average.

    • pinetree13 says:

      I’ve always thought he made the most bizarre and unappealing faces while singing…there’s….there’s people that find those faces sexy?? I had no idea.

      Also it’s beyond cruel to keep going for women that want something more when he has no intention of settling down.

  12. jen says:

    he is so musically gifted, none of this other crap matters.

  13. LA says:

    Douchechills. Full body douchechills.

  14. Darkladi says:

    I, (happily too dark for his, what was it- David Duke d***?) think he’s a cold sore looking for a lip.

    • I Choose Me says:

      This comment! I wasn’t ready. LMBAO off at cold sore looking for a lip.

      I disagree, kinda had a thing for him back in the day but goddamn that was funny.

    • Lahdidahbaby says:

      Omggg, wish I’d said that!

      …and I’m sure I will.

  15. QQ says:

    *shudders* No, but I’m sure some naive civilian or nickelodeon bait would TOTALLY be up to be strung along by a douchebag that looks to be at death’s door from Consumption with a gigantic chip on his shoulder

  16. Melody says:

    (Cleans phone screen frantically for fear of douchery infection from clicking on this)

  17. Cindy says:

    Not exaggerating to be funny, but when I see him all I think about are STDs, as in the pictures you would see in a medical textbook. It’s his sluttiness, but also something about the grossness of his soul leaking out on his face I think. He is just so awful. He is going to have to date really young naive women to find his “bride” (vomit), his bullshit is too transparent to anyone past 22.

    God this post is mean. My apologies to the moderators if it doesn’t get posted.

  18. kimberly says:

    I was just about to say he and Taylor should get together cause they have BOTH been been through almost the whole of Hollywood LOL.

    But then I was reminded that she’s been there, done that, when I saw her name mentioned in this post. Can’t believe I forgot about that. She has sooo many exes that it is hard to keep up and I guess I can say the same for Mayer. He is beyond desperate.

    So who is the unlucky, famous girl that will settle down with Mayer? I just wonder.

    • Jayna says:

      Wasn’t Taylor in her late teens, 19, or maybe 20 when she went out with him? I doubt Taylor ever slept with John and why she was dumped. He wasn’t going to play the courting game with Taylor.

    • LeAnn Stinks says:

      Didn’t she write some song about him called “Dear John?” Of course she did, and then he countered by writing a song called “Paper Dolls” about her.

      The fact that I even know this scares me-LOL!

  19. NotSoSocialButterfly says:

    Umm, let me think a bout that for a —Nope!!
    He can keep his “David Duke c0ck” to himself.

  20. Zaza says:

    Run ladies! He’s such a jerk and I can only imagine the plethora of STDs he is carrying.

    • Kosmos says:

      He’s a very talented singer and musician, but as for boyfriend material–I don’t think so, sorry, John….he has proved himself unable to have a real relationship over and over again….he’s had beautiful women, good opportunities, but no way would I advise any smart woman to get involved with him. For one thing, I have a feeling he’s pretty self-centered and this could only work with a woman who is willing to put him first all the time. As for Katy, I loved her, but her choice in men is crazy….after John, she picked Orlando ?? Scheesh. Anyway, John, good luck finding the right one…..

  21. nicegirl says:

    Yeah, not buying it. John Mayer is more famous than Tom Petty? SORRY dude. That was not your song in Jerry Maguire. This guy, geez.

  22. Bread and Circuses says:

    He seems really good at convincing women he’s a keeper.

    I think it’s because he’s really good at convincing himself he’s a keeper. Conviction is persuasive.

    He is sooooo not a keeper. He’s a “will waste your time forever and never get out of his own butt long enough to notice”.

  23. JenniferJustice says:

    I want him to hook up with Kris Jenner/Kardashian. I think it would work.

  24. Nik says:

    Oh no now Khloe is going to be in his tail.

  25. meh says:

    Wants a meet cute? Am i an idiot or does that make no sense?