Justin Theroux: Most women can relate to being ‘gas-lit’ by a dude


Here are some photos of Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston out and about in New York on Wednesday. They were just running some errands. I have an ID on Jen’s jeans: Mother jeans. I like the fact that she still rocks a bootcut, honestly. I realize skinny jeans are popular and trendy these days, but skinny jeans aren’t flattering on most women. I still rock bootcut jeans too! Meanwhile, Justin is still doing promotion for The Girl on the Train, so he’s saying many more words. Here are some quotes from a few different interviews:

Justin on Jennifer’s HuffPo body-image essay: “I was very proud of what she wrote. It was a rare insight into how disgusting all that is. At some point it becomes bullying. It sucks when people aim cameras at your stomach on some bizarre womb watch. But more to the point, it’s equally damaging to the national conversation.”

Life advice: “I only ever find myself unhappy if I mistrust my gut. If I’ve learned anything, it’s to do what I want based on my taste. Usually I enjoy myself. It’s simple advice, do what makes you happy. But I’ve been very successful, at least on a happiness level.”

The modern man: “I just find non-modern men very boring. Just because they seem rigid, stuck in the old tropes of what it means to be a professional, a boyfriend, a father. Those kinds of things.”

His first year of marriage: “I think it taught me to settle a little bit. It does have a calming effect.”

Why women embraced ‘The Girl on the Train’: “It’s an oddly feminist book. It’s so hard to talk about it without spoiling the plot. It’s about a woman who was gas-lit by her ex-husband…Any woman who has been in more than three relationships can, I think, relate to some version of that.

His secret to a good marriage: “Being kind, that’s it. I think that’s the best one. Approach each situation with kindness.”

[From People Magazine, Elle Magazine]

You can go back and re-read Jennifer’s HuffPo essay here. I didn’t really think it was “rare insight” into anything other than Jennifer being upset that some unflattering photos were published. And that “bizarre womb watch” is one that Justin’s wife has actively participated in for years. But whatever, I’m not going to argue with Modern Man Justin. Is he really a modern man? Or is he just sort of a normal guy in the hipster mold? Is he particularly woke or something and we’ve just never heard about it? I do think his comment about men-who-gaslight was pretty dead-on though.



Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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124 Responses to “Justin Theroux: Most women can relate to being ‘gas-lit’ by a dude”

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  1. Kaye says:

    Am I the only one who thinks she looks really stressed over the last couple of years? She used to be relaxed and smiling in pictures. Now it always looks (to me, at least) like she’s just trying to hold it together. I’m not talking about the Brangelina thing – this is way before that.

    • Esmom says:

      Eh, I don’t think you can judge by photos. Maybe she’s stressed by the photogs. The one semi-real moment that stuck with me is that video of the ice bucket challenge. She seemed happy and they seemed sweet together. Of course, as recent ceeb splits have shown, we have no idea what the real deal is.

    • Katie says:

      She’s mostly papped in NY now, and the NY paps get a lot closer for street shots. There’s a huge difference between people photographing you from 15 feet away in a pretty open area, and people getting right up in your face on a busy street while traffic is rushing by and pedestrians are trying to get around you. Most people papped in NY get that look unless they’re very blatantly posing.

      • MC2 says:

        This! And if they have children with them it’s even worse.

      • sophie says:

        Not to mention the paps are sometimes shouting things out to them trying to get a reaction. I saw a photo of paps that were sitting on the steps outside their apartment building waiting for them. That has to be awful for their neighbors. I think that is why Jen sold the previous apartments she bought in NY.

      • Cherry says:

        I used to work at a hotel in NY that a lot of celebrities stayed at. I’ve seen paps hiding between cars waiting to surprise them, yelling at celebrities with their kids. It made me feel awful, your truly being stalked. I felt uncomfortable sometimes, and I knew they weren’t there for me, I can’t imagine if I had to walk around knowing they were looking for ways to get to me. On the street paparazzi can get as close as they want if they don’t have security with them, and those guys are truly skeevy.

  2. Rocio says:

    I love her entire outfit. Nothing groundbreaking about it but it’s just perfect. I still like her hair very much.

    • Snowflake says:

      Yes! I love the way she dresses. I can see myself wearing the stuff that she wears.

    • doofus says:

      love those jeans…so I clicked my way to see where I could find them and eventually was directed to Nordstrom’s page.

      the ONLY Mother jeans they have are skinnies, and a few “crop flares”. NO BOOT CUT. BOOOOOO!

      • Esmom says:

        I have been wearing straight cut jeans from the Gap for a couple years now. Not as skinny and skinny jeans and not as flared as boot cuts. The perfect happy medium for me.

      • doofus says:

        Esmom, I’ve been buying straights for a while now, too. they seem to be flattering on a lot of body types. my only issue is that some “straight leg” is actually cut more like a skinny. Banana Republic straights are good, and I like Loft’s too.

        I still have a few bootcuts, though, as I still wear boots!

      • tracking says:

        doofus, there is a similar pair on Amazon.

      • doofus says:

        thanks, tracking!

        they also sell them at Nordstrom Rack (whatever’s left…), Bloomies, and I found out that they also have a website.

        I also found out that they’re on the expensive side…!

  3. Val says:

    I like this guy. He speaks sense.

  4. Yenta NYC says:

    Justin’s hair is so much thicker up front lately.

  5. embertine says:

    Hey Justin, no spoilers – I’m only just getting to that bit in the book!

  6. Soror Bro says:

    Modern man?

    • Bettyrose says:

      That’s a term from the 1980s to describe men who’ve evolved beyond Don Draper.

    • Esmom says:

      I hear you, but I kinda get it. I found myself nodding along as I thought of the guys I’m acquainted with who really are stuck in some past ideal of how a man/father/husband should be. Most are closet Trump supporters, I’m guessing. I also tend to find them boring.

      • bettyrose says:

        Yeah, the Trump thing has been a bit of a rude awakening for me, but even so I don’t consider men of my generation “modern” for assuming equal roles with women. My father’s generation maybe could enjoy being praised for their liberal attitudes, but for Gen-Ex and younger, most of whom grew up with working mothers, often as their only parent, I think “modern” is an outdated term. The men stuck in the past are the ones who deserve labels. Neanderthal?

    • noodle says:

      I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free, a diversified multi-cultural post-modern deconstructionist, politcally, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.

      I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputed and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech lowlife, a state-of-the-art bi-coastal multitasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

      I’m new wave, but I’m old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice-activated and biodegradeble. I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive, and from time to time, I’m radioactive.

      Behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I’m on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I have no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistics missionary. A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom-feeder.

      I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing bigfoot slamdunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down, ’cause I’m tireless, and I’m wireless. I’m an alpha male on beta blockers.

      I’m a non-believer and an overachiever, laid back, but fashion forward, up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance; super size, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I’m a hands-on, footloose, kneejerk headcase, prematurly post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

      But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing, a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on a long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant.

      I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F-word in my e-mails, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall, I bought a minivan at a megastore, I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m tollfree, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.

      I’ve been prewashed, precooked, preheated, prescreened, preapproved, postdated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride. Drivin’ and movin’, sailin’ and spinin’, jivin’ and groovin’, wailin’ and winnin’. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy, and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin’ in, there ain’t no doubt, and I’m hangin’ tough, over and out.

      -George Carlin

  7. Aang says:

    His gut may tell him skinny jeans will make him happy but they make the rest of us very very sad.

    • Annetommy says:

      I quite like them. In a minority I know…

    • Betti says:

      It depends – they look not bad on tall, slender and well proportioned men but sadly they are worn by a lot of shorter blokes with really skinny legs who wear those shoes with long toe front bits that make their feet look bigger.

    • Crumpet says:

      They look mighty fine on him IMO.

      And I’m a boot-cut girl myself. I have skinnies, straights and boot-cuts. I rock them all.


  8. tanakalee says:

    And that “bizarre womb watch” is one that Justin’s wife has actively participated in for years. Er, not really, it”s the press and anti-Aniston people that are doing it – the woman can;t walk anywhere, be photographed without some sort of baby watch. I get sick of the fact she’s treated as if she actively participated in it – that’s no different from saying any childless woman of a certain age would participate in it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not on anyone’s side but I do get fed up of people painting her like she’s the one who started ‘baby watch’. It’s juts something that happens to every woman, famous or not, and I agree with him, it’s disgusting.

    • Nicole says:

      Agreed. A celeb woman eats too much at lunch and she’s either got “out of control weight problems” or “she’s pregnant” for the nth time. It’s always jarring to hear these celeb women talk about how many times they’ve been “pregnant” according to the tabs. I can’t imagine how annoying or damaging that could be.

    • TheOtherMaria says:

      Agreed, the only thing Aniston did was answer questions asked by the media, every one else decided to run with it after ascribing her unwillingness to bare children as the reason that unfortunate marriage ended….

    • Merritt says:

      Agreed. I don’t think any woman wants the press or public constantly analyzing whether she looks pregnant.

    • Maudd says:

      Maybe Aniston participated in it by answering questions about it. If that is called participation in the baby watch. She once said that she wanted kids one day. I have read somewhere a couple of years ago (blinds) that she did have one or more miscarriages through the years. So it’s possible that she is not able to have kids. The tabloids ‘baby watch’ is extra painful if that is the case!

    • Colette says:

      Aniston used that baby bump angle to make money by putting it her Smartwater youtube ad.
      She had no problem with magazines talking about her body when she had a flat stomach.She wasn’t criticizing the emphasis on beauty when she was named”most beautiful” or “sexiest”.She was only upset because people were no longer saying she had a great body because she was bloated.She looked like most women,that’s why she was upset.
      So Bye Girl

    • Wren33 says:

      I know that the PR game is complicated, but I think some people get so into being “aware” and “smart” enough to see through it that they assume every single time she is photographed with a purse near her stomach she is somehow drawing attention and faking pregnancy.

      • LAK says:

        The Editor of British vogue once said that Jen Aniston is the most controlled celebrity where her interviews are concerned that she has come across. With pre-approval of questions and the final copy.

        Think about that when you read every single interview where she has teased babies. She’s not simply answering questions. She’s actively participating in it because even if she does answer a question that wasn’t pre-approved, she retains the right to remove it from the final article and to frame the article as she wishes.

        Where paps are concerned, it’s alittle from column A and alittle from column B where A = participating, B = tabloid speculative articles.

        Yet, given her co-operation with the tabloids in the past, it’s been a lot of column A.

        She started to change the narrative when she met Justin who doesn’t appear to want children. Yet, Aniston can’t help herself. She still approves the questions or she allows herself to be papped looking fabulously flat stomach – 3 days in a row, after those body shaming pics that called her new rounded belly a pregnancy belly!!

    • Crumpet says:

      Agreed! Well said.

  9. Frannydays says:

    I think you make fun of Justin to just get a reaction out of me ;). I love, love him in the Leftovers so I am a fan!

  10. LittleTeaPot says:

    Justin is a thoughtful man. I like a man with depth. Whenever I read his interviews, I always come away with something to ponder.

    “Being kind, that’s it. I think that’s the best one. Approach each situation with kindness.”

    • TheSageM says:

      Yes, that’s a good one.

    • tracking says:

      He is thoughtful, and very articulate. I don’t know how many men would describe marriage that way, but that’s pretty great.

    • Bettyrose says:

      IDK. i dislike that he trotted out the “good guy” narrative, warning us naive girls about the bad men out there. Especially since dude famously cheated on his long time partner when someone with better industry contacts came along.

    • Crumpet says:

      Actually, the secret to a good marriage is respect. And the two most import words you can say to each other is “Thank you”.

      But I like his answer too. He’s got good genes and they show (pun intended).

  11. L84Tea says:

    I’m really starting to like this dude.

  12. K37744 says:

    Love him. And he softens her in my mind.

  13. Dorothy#1 says:

    What’s gaslight??

    • ELX says:

      Gaslight is a very famous movie from the 30s starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman in which the husband (Boyer) of a rich woman (Bergman) attempts to convince her that she’s crazy in order to gain control of her fortune. Hence the term ‘ gaslighting’ someone.

    • doofus says:

      Just to add to what ELX said, the term comes from the fact that the husband character would lower/dim the gas powered lights in the house to mess with her mind.

      if you want a current example of gaslighting, look no further than the current GOP candidate for prez.

      says one thing, then an hour later claims he never said it, even though it was caught on video/audio. but it’s kind of hard to gaslight millions of people, esp when there’s evidence you said what you said.

      • Kitten says:

        Did you see the latest? “Every single online poll says I won the debate. Every single one.”

      • doofus says:

        SMH…yeah, because online polls are SO scientific.

        also, I thought the latest was that he was complaining about Lester Holt being biased and how the whole thing was “rigged”…just hours after saying he thought that Holt did a good job and was very fair. he thought Holt was OK until it was reported (yes, even by Fox) that everyone thought HRC wiped the floor with him. all of a sudden, Holt was unfair, the mic was broken and HRC was “mean”.

        And I love how he complained about the ads she’s running being “unfair” and “mean”. those ads are NOTHING but HIS OWN WORDS! he’s such a d-bag.

      • sunny says:

        A dbag that’s going to be president. And I’m voting for him. Better Trump than a woman who defended a child rapist and is married to a sexual predator. Among many, many other things.

      • doofus says:

        many many other things. tremendous things. beautiful things. the BEST things. everyone says so.

      • Azurea says:

        All politicians gaslight. Obama & HC do it in the extreme.

      • qwerty says:


        lol. I’m 1/3 his age and his vocab is smaller than mine. And I’m not even a native speaker. Yes that’s right, I’m a FOREIGNER.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        “a woman who defended a child rapist”

        I know like a true Trump supporter you don’t care about facts, but the fact is she was APPOINTED by the court to that defendant. She had no choice but to represent the man and give him the defense that the law requires every defendant in the US receives. And he was found guilty.

      • qwerty says:


        Doesn’t he have a rape case here and there in his past?

      • lucy2 says:

        Do a little research into facts, sunny. Be an informed voter.

      • Crumpet says:

        Sunny, I am voting for him too. He is far from what one would think would make an ideal politician, but I can’t vote for a person who has accomplished nothing politically during her loooong career. Trump (despite his many failings) has shown he can recover from bankruptcy and bring teams together and accomplish things. Gosh we need that.

        I have done my research into the facts on both sides, and this is my decision. But no matter who is elected I WILL SUPPORT THEM FULLY. Because I am a proud American and we need to stick together. Enough of this divisiveness.

        Love to all my fellow Celebitchies and my we discuss our differences with civility and intelligence!

      • doofus says:

        “Enough of this divisiveness.”

        too bad you don’t feel that way about how much divisiveness Drumpf has stirred up.

        you won’t vote for a person who has “accomplished nothing” (which isn’t true but I doubt you’d listen to her accomplishments if I listed them) but you WILL vote for a person who LOST almost a billion dollars in ONE year while doing business, and then didn’t pay taxes for the next 20? hey, at least he “accomplished” something, namely losing a billion dollars and filing for bankruptcy four times. yeah, let’s vote for the guy who says he’ll run the country like he runs his businesses.


    • qwerty says:

      Head over to r/relationships on reddit to find out. The guy is telling the truth.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      It’s a form of manipulation where one person is constantly telling the other person that they are wrong, it never happened, you are imagining, etc. to the point were the recipient doubts their own perspective. It’s emotional abuse.

  14. Theenz says:

    I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what ‘gaslit’ meant. But now that I know, the hipster STAINS is right and for sure a lot of women have been ‘gaslit by a dude’.

    And ain’t nobody got time for that!!!!!!

  15. Scal says:

    Considering how he gaslit his ex about his relationship with Aniston when they were still together, I take those comments with a huge grain of salt.

  16. INeedANap says:


    I am a short woman with a curvy body and I have utterly and completely avoided buying skinny jeans, which means I wear dresses year round. I live in New England so in winter I wear sweater tights and high boots. I do own many lovely slacks as well.

    I love that he mentioned gaslighting, we’ve all been there. I consider it a deal breaker if a guy thinks “all women are crazy”.

    • doofus says:

      I hate skinny jeans, too. they look good on SO FEW people. give me a straight or boot cut.

      but since you’re a dress person (me too!) let me recommend SWEATER DRESSES if you aren’t already a fan. it’s like wearing a full length sweater and when you pair it with tights and boots?…voila, an amazingly comfortable, warm and nice looking outfit. I have one in almost every color, and a few patterned ones, too. They are my staple in fall/winter.

    • Abbess Tansy says:

      Skinny jeans are the devil. I tried buying a size larger but no dice.
      I’m too short in the legs for bootcut to be flattering but I wear straight legs almost exclusively.

    • prettylights says:

      @INeedANap I hear ya. I’m also short and curvy, with muscular legs, and they look awful on me. In the summer I swear by maxi dresses and long skirts, in the winter I wear jeans but prefer a slightly flared style to balance out my hips or a straight/boot cut. If I’m going out at night then I like fleece leggings with a dress and boots.

      I do think the look of skinny jeans or leggings with high boots and a longer chunky sweater is so cute. Unfortunately due to my thick calves I can’t wear most high boots either unless they are ‘wide calf’ and there are a lot less options in that. Current fall/winter fashion trends are just a lose-lose for my body type, ha ha!

      • amunet ma'at says:

        @prettylights try Torrid for the wide calf boots. I’m short, curvy, with thick muscular thighs and I bought an awesome pair of over the knee boots. The point is to prolong the life of my leggings in the winter. But they have boots that fits over my 16inch calves and they look great.

    • Crumpet says:

      Boot cuts are great for balancing out full hips. You should try them!

  17. Biting Panda says:

    You know when gas lighting often happens?

    When a man is cheating on his long time girlfriend and solidifying that super famous jump off.

    “No. I’m not cheating on your. We just work together. How could you not trust me after all of these years?”

    Yes. So modern and sensitive, that one.

    • Wren says:

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t think what he has to say is all that awesome. I find his words trite and boring. Modern man? Really? Yes, I get that a lot of men are stuck in their old fashioned gender roles, but that’s hardly news. And how exactly is he so different and modern? Is it because he wears skinny jeans?

    • Sunlily says:

      Thank you. They like to skip over that part and deflect back to his small piece in sweat pants picture.

    • Liberty says:


  18. Bettyrose says:

    Did I read a different Girl on the Train? The narrator is highly complicit in her own self destruction.

    • Jayna says:

      I agree. She was a self-destructive, hot mess. It was hard to like her until later in the book. Of course, much later you find out things to feel much more sympathetic towards her.

    • Abbess Tansy says:

      I felt the same way because of her addiction but at the same time her ex husband didn’t have to make it hard and be so dirty about it.

    • Tiffany :) says:


      After decades of acceptable flawed male characters, I think it is totally ok to have a flawed female character in a popular book. Additionally, perhaps the abuse she suffered contributed to her self medicating?

      • Bettyrose says:

        I loved that she was flawed. I hated that the twist in Gone Girl was “psychobitch.” GotT was much more relatable. I agree with JT that there’s a feminist element, but not because there’s a “bad man.” It’s feminist because of the acceptably flawed female protagonist, as you said.

        I honestly found JT’s whole schtick in this interview patronizing.

  19. Geneva says:

    Maybe I am biased because Justin Theroux’s uncle is the acerbic and saracastic Paul Theroux who is a great commentator about life in general but I like what Justin has to say. I am sure it will become ‘pat’ but I like the way he is trying to say, in a subtle way, that “why would my wife, or any women, want their abdomen photographed every day they go out the door” … like what if my wife was gassy one day? anyway, he is at least filtering what he says but he comes across as intelligent and funny. kind of a nice change from what most celebs have to say…. he says it without actually saying it. That is a Theroux trademark.

    • adastraperaspera says:

      Agreed! I think the Theroux family must have the most interesting Thanksgiving table conversations! If he’s going to hang in there with them at all, he can’t be an intellectual slouch.

  20. Rhiley says:

    I hate when guys who have not been married that long get asked the “what makes a successful marriage” question. Tom Hanks may be able to give some insight. Ron Howard too. And Kevin Bacon. But I think it is too soon for Justin Theoroux’s advice.

    • Chetta B. says:

      I would agree, especially since he seemed so content living with Heidi Bivens, until he met Aniston that is. Think the poor woman was blindsided much like Laura Dern was when she “returned home to find my fiance engaged to someone else.” (Angelina and Billy-Bob)

      • Colette says:

        Oh God I wish people would stop acting like Laura Deen is some victim.Billy Bob was MARRIED to his third or fourth wife when she started dating him.
        Ben Harper was married with a pregnant wife when Laura Deen started dating him.

  21. Lucy says:

    Jen’s outfit is perfect! I like Justin’s shoes, too.

  22. ravensdaughter says:

    Is it Justin Theroux week? Why have we seen so much of him lately?-Brangelina, why he doesn’t wear shorts, now this.
    I do find him amusing.

  23. JackieJormpJomp says:

    I’d call those a flare, not a bootcut.

  24. shannon says:

    I can see why Justin is a writer. I wonder if “gas-lit” comes to mind when he thinks of his ex girlfriend?

  25. Red says:

    Nope, Justin. I actually take the time to get to know a person before entering a relationship with them, so no “gas-lighting.” I vet someone for at least a year before I commit. My partners have always treated me very well.

  26. ts says:

    Women being gas-lit by dudes.

    How terrible, Justin! Tell us what that means! I can’t even begin to imagine.

  27. Loca says:

    Those jeans are amazing. I love boot cut jeans and have been everywhere trying to find some. I am really sick of having to buy skinny jeans. Retailers take notice.

  28. Erica_V says:

    I’m with Jen – you can pry my AE slim bootcut jeans out of my cold dead heads.

  29. Ally8 says:

    I would think that these were great modern man statements, if Theroux wasn’t friends with noted woman-molesting and woman-objectifying creeper Terry Richardson. (Literally, he is the first result that comes up when you google “creepy photographer”.)

  30. Lotta says:

    What does it mean to be gas-lite?

    • ts says:

      Lotta, gas-lighting means that someone is trying to fool you and then blame it on you. It’s something like that anyway.

    • Justjj says:

      “Gas lighting” is a form of emotional abuse that comes from a movie by the same name that occurs when one person uses denial, manipulation, blame shifting, and lies to make the other person doubt themselves, their sense of self, their perception of events, or their sanity. “Gas lighting” means that in response to legitimate questions-where were you last night, who were you with. The abuser might respond with “I was with my friend Jack I told you. What’s wrong with you? Don’t you remember I told you? Are you crazy? Why are you so obsessed with me and everything I do? Don’t you trust me?” Abusers who gas light also like to accuse you of what they are guilty of so they’ll say things like “You’re just jealous. You’re paranoid. Stop acting so insecure. You’re just being delusional.” Etc. when these things may be true of them or are being used to detract from the horrible things they are actually doing and your legitimate feelings and concerns as their partner. I even had one guy I was with go so far as to say “I think you’re bipolar. You need psychiatric help. You’re a delusional liar.” Etc. to the point where I sought a psychiatric evaluation. Guess what? Everything was fine. And it came out later that he had a long term girlfriend waiting for him in another country and at least two other women he was talking to including his ex. Yet every time I pointed out an inconsistency or spoke about how I felt… I was a “crazy, delusional, bipolar, obsessive, clingy, needy” mess etc. THAT is gaslighting

  31. ts says:

    So it takes a Justin Theroux(??) to reassure us ladies about gas-lighting. Awesome. I never woulda known.

  32. AuntSass says:

    I like him. Always did since American Psycho. I also like him better in actual/live interviews, he falls flat on paper. My only “con” is- his break-up and what he did to that girl. But to be fair, I don’t know the details really of that either. Insight anyone….I’m genuinely asking.

  33. coffeeonmymind says:

    Of course, none of us knows this guy, but he sure sounds a lot better than the asshole who dumped her for St Angie. You go, Jennifer!

  34. Lotta says:

    Thank you for the explanation. I’ve been gas lite too. 🙁