Heidi Montag’s cheap new “Blackout” music video

I am constantly baffled as to why Heidi Montag keeps making music videos. Actually, to be fair, I am constantly baffled as to why she keeps making music. Or why she even exists. Really, everything from her wig to her implants baffles me. When I look at pictures of her, question marks pop into my eyes like in cartoons. It’s probably a dangerous condition. But, I put my life on the line for you, dear readers, and really for Heidi too. Because what would she be without our mockery? Just another overly-injected bleached slightly-animate mannequin running around Beverly Hills.

When Heidi and husband Spencer Pratt were in Cabo San Lucas for their honeymoon a few weeks ago, they did more than just don anti-swine flu masks on the beach. They also shot the video for Heidi’s latest single, “Blackout.” Sort of a working honeymoon, if you will. And considering the way Spencer likes to pimp out Heidi (Playboy, anyone?), “working honeymoon” is a very apt term.

Heidi Montag treats fans with a look at her cleavage as a music video for single “Black Out”, which features her dressing only in bikini, emerges. She is seen in the video moving provocatively while singing to the song and soaking up the sun on the beach.

“Black Out” is written by Cathy Dennis who has penned hit singles for Katy Perry and Britney Spears. It has been confirmed to be among the new materials in Heidi’s self-titled debut album “Heidi Montag” which may come out in either spring or summer.

[From Ace Showbiz]

I don’t know why Heidi insists on using such crappy filming techniques. It looks like it’s just Spencer following her around with a webcam. And considering he’s done some of her other videos, it’s not impossible. It’s all clearly so cheap. Not just in terms of tacky, but in the more traditional “I shot this video for under $200” sense. It’s grainy, poorly lit, and poorly shot. Heidi is clearly just improvising by doing half-assed stripper moves and rapidly swinging her head back and forth. Most of the time she looks like a dog shaking water off after a bath. I was watching closely to see if bits of her wig flew off from time to time.

The plot of the video, by the way? Heidi has a body. Let’s show it to you. She’s got some real creative brain power working for her.


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25 Responses to “Heidi Montag’s cheap new “Blackout” music video”

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  1. ash says:

    HA, this isn’t a music video, this is just her lip syncing to Spencer’s handheld camera. Is she wearing a bikini? I can’t tell?

  2. anna says:

    I got sick watching… not for the obvious reasons tho.. the shots are WAY too short and quick. This crap is like a film student at his/her first low paying job who is going overboard with the edits.

  3. Enonymous says:

    God, I hate these types of very average looking girls thinking that if they dye their hair blonde and get a boob job then they somehow would automatically become hot. Heidi Montag is one of those annoying girls. Hot you are not honey, you just manage too look like a blow-up doll.

    Also, how very original filming every ‘music’ video on a beach with you running around in a bikini.

  4. Abby says:

    that was haaaaaaaaaalarious. oh. my. god.

    okay i love how you can see spencer’s head (shadow) at one point, and when she says “in my heart” she glances down before touching her hand to her heart… like she’s not quite sure where to land.

    hahahaha. just so funny. and pathetic.

  5. Menace says:

    Well, at least she ‘sings’ less painfully in this one, though I think the average person with a camera could shoot a better music video than this.

  6. Wench. says:

    SO bad – I adore it!

    These guys are so camp and hideous, I can’t help but be Team Spiedi. Woo!

  7. Stephen says:

    If this was handed off to a USC or UCLA film student, they would have had a chance at a finished cut a bit more compelling. Black and White…zombies…cut throats…S&M….hell, extreme close ups of her toenails would be edgier.

  8. Nicole says:

    It looks messy. Like she is all over the place. She needs to learn to control her body.

  9. Kayleigh says:

    What a spaz. Sit still!

  10. Arvedia says:

    JayBird, if you keep on writing, you might end up sounding like Michael K., which wouldn´t be a bad thing. People like Heidi Montag exist really to be made fun of. That´s not so bad, is it?

  11. shona says:

    Oh lord, I accidentally clicked the wrong thing and it went full screen. It was just Montag…everywhere. Bleugh.

  12. staramour says:

    Oh good lord… I had to turn it off after 20 seconds. I’ve never seen one of their videos before today & will continue with that plan from now on. Can they just GO AWAY?!

  13. Codzilla says:

    Words cannot describe … Even if the video was a masterpiece, the song, itself, would drag it down to hell where this artistic turd belongs.

  14. Blah Girls says:

    i cannot believe this is a music video!

  15. sam says:

    Stop moving your head everytime you say a new word!!!

  16. Valensi says:

    Hasn’t that been the same plotline for all of her music videos so far?
    You’d think that with all the media milking she’s been doing, she could at least afford a director. Or a cage to throw Spencer in.
    Alas, we can only hope.

  17. Hieronymus Grexx says:

    The Stars are Blind, take two.

  18. skldfj says:

    “question marks pop into my eyes like in cartoons” LOL. couldnt agree more.

  19. huh says:

    Okay so she/they can pay a real songwriter but can’t get her voice/music and dance lessons or pay someone to make a decent video?

    They (prob Spencer) have to know that they will get more attention being mocked b/c they aren’t taken seriously?

    And I think the message of this video is: I have boobs. Large, rock hard, silicon boobs.

  20. Aquarius says:

    Oddly enough, a few weeks ago, I wondered what Cathy Dennis was up to. I didn´t realize that she was writing songs for others. I wish she’d record some more music of her own!

  21. Wresa says:

    Thank You! This was so HIGHlarious it made my day!!

    I love how she can’t even lip-synch convincingly. Her whole “music” “career” is so bad its confusing as to whether or not it is even real!

  22. havana says:

    wait wait is this a real music video? yeah i’m not buying it

  23. Miranda says:

    This video has convinced me that this poor girl is only a step away from having a sex tape featuring her released by Spencer.

  24. anon says:

    *waiting for Ashton to pop out*
    This is for punk’d right???? please say it’s for punk’d!!….

  25. I Choose Me says:

    Are you a proponent of torture Jaybird? Cause that’s what that was. Ten seconds in and my eyes were twitching then my ears started to bleed. Expect a copy of my medical bill in the mail.

    And yes, I know I didn’t have to click on the vid – but there was no warning telling me just how awful it would be. A “Click at your own risk” would have been nice.