Kristen Stewart on her love life: ‘I’m not ashamed and I’m not confused’

kristen elle

Elle Magazine has about a million different cover subjects for their November “Women In Hollywood” issue. Every year, the different cover subjects multiply! And Kristen Stewart is one of those cover subjects. I actually like her cover the best, maybe? You can see the whole Elle “Women In Hollywood” package here. Elle’s only released one quote from Kristen:

Kristen on her love life: “I’m not ashamed, and I’m not confused. Things have changed. And not just with me—we’re really allowed to encourage this new acceptance to develop and be awesome.”

[From Elle]

As I’ve said before, I like that Kristen is all “Google me, I’m not hiding” about her sexuality. I like the way she’s been verbally and visually framing her relationships with women, and I do think she’s done great work in destigmatizing the reality of bisexuality to a larger audience. Now, all that being said, I still think the way she jumps from relationship to relationship is kind of shady, and I feel sorry for Alicia Cargile because I think Kristen just uses Alicia as the placeholder girlfriend in between bigger, crazier relationships.

Incidentally, Us Weekly and other outlets are now confirming that K-Stew and St. Vincent are loved up. They’ve apparently been inseparable during Kristen’s time in New York. Now I really do feel sorry for Alicia Cargile.

What else? Kristen did a Q&A session at the New York Film Festival where she revealed that she’s just as much of a stalker as everybody else:

“Much cooler, productive rad things could be happening. I know I sound ridiculous and really obvious; everyone says this, and I sound like an older person, but we could be doing way cooler s***. It’s so time-consuming…We stalk each other. I stalk people, I get stalked, we all get stalked.”

[From Movie Pilot]

I think she’s talking about social media and the nature of our celebrity-obsessed culture. And she’s not wrong.


Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Elle Magazine.

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60 Responses to “Kristen Stewart on her love life: ‘I’m not ashamed and I’m not confused’”

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  1. Luca76 says:

    I’m glad she’s out and open about her relationships but the way she treats Alicia makes me think she’s such a jerk.

    • sherry says:

      I agree. I think it was last week I saw photos of her with St. Vincent and I thought, “Where’s Alicia? Did she get dumped again because Kristen found a shiny new object to play with?”

      I understand she’s young and wants to date, but seeing this on the heels of her recent interview where she’s gushing how much she loves Alicia is just not cool.

      • Carey says:

        She’s 26, not 16. Old enough to know better.

      • CTgirl says:

        With all of her talk about being true to herself and authentic, she has proven with her dating escapades that she’s really just a narcissist who doesn’t really see her significant other as being worthy of consideration when she meets someone else.

    • Bridget says:

      We don’t know anything about her relationship with Alicia, though. We’re projecting a lot of assumptions about what her day to day relationship looks like. Kristen has made a lot of choices that I give an Al Roker drink stir toward, but on this one I’m not going to make the judgement.

      • Mushymoo says:

        This! We do not know the specifics (nor should we).way too judgey about KS when others are given free reign.

      • Squiggisbig says:

        I mean, no, we don’t know anything about Alicia. All we know is that Soko said KS cheated on her with Alicia. And obviously we know she cheated on Rob (assuming that was a real relationship and not a showmance) with Rupert. Kristen strikes me as one of those people who thinks not doing the right thing is fine so long as she’s being true to herself (another example would be her defending working with Woody Allen…which is indefensible for anyone)

      • Bridget says:

        Considering that Alicia keeps coming back, perhaps she just doesn’t care. I mean, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with Kristen, but it’s possible that it’s just not a dealbreaker to Alicia. That’s more my point.

      • Artemis says:

        I look on Stewart fan forums and apparently 3 days before Alicia’s birthday, she had a meal with St. Vincent and her mother. Then she joined Alicia for her birthday and a few days later they were done basically. St. Vincent also started following Stewart’s private IG before the summer. That’s sketchy of the both of them seeing how it ended. We don’t need to know the inner details to know if somebody being a dirty dog. They both made sure she had a replacement lover and Stewart has a pattern for this. St. Vincent isn’t a saint either, she brutally cheated on her ex, an art curator in the past. Stewart dumps people within a day (Soko for Agathe Mougin for example) of meeting them. Sketch…

      • Jenna says:

        Artemis, you invest way too much time in observing this, esp given you don’t know her. Her and Alicia could have a casual relationship. None of us know, and frankly, MOST of us don’t GAF either.

  2. pix says:

    Regardless of who she’s dating, Kristen has proven that she’s not a “good” girlfriend and is prone to cheating, right?

  3. Carey says:

    She’s cheated on every single person she’s ever been involved with, men and women. It’s gross. I really really really don’t like her. I think she’s ignorant and way too enamoured of her self-image as some sort of highly principled rebel.

  4. Nibbi says:

    she’s just boss lately

    i dig her open “here i am” thing

  5. Bettyrose says:

    I do love that we live in a time of increasing acceptance for exploring one’s sexuality. And the days of double standards, men get to be promiscuous, women don’t, are fast disappearing in the rear view mirror.

    Kirsten is still very young. Her relationship jumping might be breaking hearts, but we don’t know that her less famous girlfriends aren’t also bed-hopping. These narratives always look for a cheater, but possibly Alicia C plays the field too.

    • Original T.C. says:

      Not to be argumentative but we do know she cheated at least emotionally on her “first boyfriend” Michael to get with Robert Pattinson. He was on set during filming meanwhile she and Pattinson gave interviews flittering with each other. He left broken hearted with no evidence he cheated on her.

      While with Pattinson she cheated on him with a Married man. Again no evidence Pattinson was cheating on her. She then got with Alicia Cargile. I don’t know if Alicia was cheating on her but she did overlap and began dating Soko. Fast forward to her dropping Soko to go back to Alicia. No evidence in the media or from Soko herself that Soko was cheating.

      IMO you are responsible for the commitments you make. People are so quick to make excuses for Stewart which is fine but whenever the public de decides she is no longer “a young girl” perhaps by age 40, then the public will finally be mad for enabling a life long cheater.

      • fiji says:

        you have literally no proof she is a serial cheater.

      • Artemis says:

        There is proof. She dumped Alicia for Agathe Mouguin actually during filming for Personal Shopper. Many of her friends choose Alicia’s side by dumping Stewart.

        She then met Soko at some party and immediately dumped Agathe within a day. Then with Soko, she was called a cheater and Soko herself has also said that she meets people who are crazy about her and ‘never felt that way before’ and then after 2 months they get scared and run back to their exes. Soko and Stewart dated for 2 months.

        You’ll never find these things in mainstream media. Go find fan forums of these people and the tea will be scalding hot. It reminds me of gossip about black people, 90% of the true dirt can only be found on gossip blogs focused on black celebrities.

  6. Lucy says:

    That’s nice (seriously), but she’s still a serial cheater.

    • FF says:


      Can you prove that she isn’t? There’s certainly more evidence of her cheating, at this point, than being monogomous.

      Thank goodness she publicly apologized for that Rupert thing or people would still be trying to claim it never happened.

  7. Loo says:

    I like Stewart well enough and I like the cover but nobody should take relationship advice from her. If being yourself is being a cheater then you should change a part of who you are.

  8. ShinyGrenade says:

    - I’m not ashamed.
    Not even when you got pap cheating with a married father?

    But happy that she is doing well and found her way. Might suck a bit for Alicia, but maybe that the kind of relationship they have. Who knows.

    • fiji says:

      Are you one of those people who think she should be ashamed and embarrassed and constantly apologizing for a mistake she made when she was 21? 4/5 years ago? Kristen wasn’t even talking about that situation, she was referring to dating girls. Why would you bring that up?

  9. Lotta says:

    I don’t judge becaus I don’t know the circumstances, maybe she always had an open relationship with Alicia, and with that comes risks of your partner. Also, it’s not unusual to go back and forth with an ex-partner, especially when you’re young. I had a boyfriend whom I dated for a year and the break up was going on for two years. There was a lot of love, and passionate lust, but we just weren’t good for each other.

    • Carey says:

      The couples I know with an open relationship consist of one person who’s really into it and another person who’s going along with it because they don’t want to lose their partner. If it’s an open relationship but the only person exercising her right to pursue other partners is Kristen, that’s just crappy behavior.

      • Lex says:

        No it’s weak behaviour on Alicia’s part.
        If you agree to an open relationship, don’t be pissy if the other person sees other people. If you don’t agree to it, break up.
        Pretty simple!

  10. Lindsay says:

    Re: the stalking comments, let’s get this out of the way before it becomes a repeat of the Cumberbatch post. She is using it flippantly, more so than he was and I can understand people not liking that. However, being stalked online has been proven to be as emotionally and financially devastating (if not more so) as traditional stalking. It isn’t a matter of “just turning off your computer.” We have seen time and time again that people that go through horrendous thing just want to be listened to and believed. When we don’t do that and minimize or deny their trauma we are helping revictimize them, adding to their distress and interfering with their healing and efforts to keep others from going to the same thing. It would not be acceptable to say “I was physically abused so if you were only mentally and emotionally abused it doesn’t count.” It is the same thing here.

  11. She may not be confused, but I certainly am. Not by her sexuality but by her constant change of partners. I’m thinking she “dates” around a lot, like I did in my twenties. That’s not a bad thing. My boyfriends lasted a maximum of 4-6 months and in the first couple months I was obnoxiously in love, so much PDA. Maybe that’s why she was quiet about her love life, until she felt her reluctance to mention it made it seem as though she was ashamed of being into girls. But in that case why declare you’re in love with your on again off again girlfriend, then move on so publicly and so quickly? She makes Alicia look so pathetic. If I were The girlfriend I would have preferred no acknowledgement rather than appearing to be a doormat. Oy vey, she hurts my head. But on a positive note she is gorgeous here. And she is making quite a name for herself as a serious actress. But I do think she should go back to not talking about her private life.

  12. senna says:

    I’m generally a supporter of Kristen, but I just cannot sympathize with this serial dating mentality where she takes up with a person for a month, is photographed engaging in PDA every single day, and then all of a sudden it’s over and she’s back to the person she was with before. Poor Alicia. If they are on-again off-again Kristen has shown her that she will never be the no.1 priority so long as someone else is interested. Annie Clark is dreamy, and so talented – but I will need for this to last more than 5 minutes before I ship it, and if she does Annie wrong, I will be upset about it.

    I’m glad Kristen’s out and proud of it. If there’s other circumstances that might affect public perception of her – like maybe she’s into open relationships? Then maybe she should be out about those, too, because otherwise she comes off as so shady in the way she treats her partners. I’m sure, though, that many poly people would be quick to correct me on the idea that dating overlap, or extremely quickly moving on to a new partner, has anything in common with polyamory. It probably involves much more discussion, forethought, open communication and respect that Kristen is showing for her girlfriends, to this outsider’s perspective. Seriously, I think Kristen is so talented, loves her art, and is very compelling as a person and actor. But I don’t like the way she’s treating her partners – even if nothing is “wrong” with the timelines, it speaks of emotional immaturity to throw oneself into intense relationships so quickly and then move on so quickly.

    • Naila says:

      Stop with the ‘poor alicia’. She’s a grown woman who is 5 years older than Kristen FGS! They’ve been on and off so how do you know Alicia doesn’t have her fun either? You don’t, you just assume!

      • Lindsay says:

        While I agree no knows or should being five years older doesn’t mean a whole lot. We don’t know the dynamics of her relationship with Kristen but there is a power imbalance. She works in the industry doing various things celebrity personal assistant, VFX artist, go-for on music videos, ect. Not saying she would do this, I have no idea, but Kristen has enough leverage in Hollywood to f- with her career if she crossed her. The other two are already established in their careers on their own and work more in the music industry.

        The age and power imbalance and the fact he was married is what caused what’s-his-face, the director to take the brunt of the blame especially when it came to the impact on their respective careers.

      • senna says:

        Well, the default assumption about relationships is still monogamy (for better or for worse). I actually think indicating one has an open relationship would look less shitty than making it seem that Alicia is her Plan B girl, if that’s what that is.

      • Naila says:

        See now you are just creating all these scenarios in your head …. there’s no validity to it.

        ALICIA IS NOT AND NEVER HAS BEEN A PERSONAL ASSISTANT! She has made this clear and it has been said over and over again.

        Did you seriously say that Kristen did not take the brunt of the blame for all that drama? Way to revise things to suit your theories. The reality was very different but don’t mind that!

      • Lindsay says:

        @Senna – That’s a good point. We wouldn’t know if Alicia was also seeing other people because she is a “normal” person. The paparazzi only care about her when she is with Kristen. She would also probably date another”normal” person. Going to paparazzi haunts takes some money and access or maybe she avoids them on purpose.

        Above Carey said “The couples I know with an open relationship consist of one person who’s really into it and another person who’s going along with it because they don’t want to lose their partner. If it’s an open relationship but the only person exercising her right to pursue other partners is Kristen, that’s just crappy behavior.”

        That also could be the result of the power imbalance. Kristen has pull in her industry, makes way more money, ect. Kristen may also have the upper hand emotionally, her feelings may not be as strong. So Kristen dates and Alcia grins and bares it so she doesn’t lose Kristen entirely.

      • senna says:

        @Lindsay: Yes, based on what we know, that’s how it’s coming off: that because of the power imbalance, Alicia tolerates Kristen’s coming and going (that, or they’re really done this time).

        Generally: I’m aware that know we don’t know celebrities and what really goes on in their personal lives. But image-craft is a part of the game, and part of what gives celebrities clout, money, power, and the ability to headline projects or not. So by not explaining things quite enough, if it’s something other than serial monogamy, Kristen’s making herself look bad IMHO. If it is what it looks like, then it’s slightly shady at best.

  13. Carmen says:

    I think she’s a crappy actor and a crappy human being. End of story.

  14. Nola says:

    I don’t think Kristen has ever been single.
    She’s a serial monogamist. . Every time it seems she’s single, she’s actually with someone.
    And let’s be honest, almost all her relationships seem to overlap. As a fan it’s pretty obvious. If I had to analyze, I think she gets off on it.

    I’m not trying to shame her for dating around but in this year alone she’s had 3 to 4 partners. Like she probably should’ve taken sometime for herself after her breakup with Soko, instead of going back to Alicia.

    There’s nothing wrong with dating around. However, there’s something wrong with jumping into a relationship to avoid being single.

    Some single time would do her good.

    • Naila says:

      ‘ but in this year alone she’s had 3 to 4′

      which is nothing compared to most guys! Double standards much? Everyone is adults and they are all consenting. If Kristen is as bad as some want to make her out to be then why would Alicia who is older and financially independent keep going back to her? And why would Rob Pattinson’s best friends still be hanging out with her for that matter?

      • Lindsay says:


        I don’t think that’s true three or four relationships in one year is a a lot and you should probably take a little down time to do the postmortem, grieve, truly move on, figure out what you want and what you need to work on. It takes a bit of time to fall in love and get to the “I love you” stage. I don’t know how you could do that more than three of four times in one year, just as a matter of time and logistics

        Having more than 4 flings in a year is fine as long as they are both consenting adults but going from one serious romantic relationship with PDA and public declarations of being in love suggests there is an issue there that you are avoiding and using love and constantly being paired up as a band-aide and distraction.

      • QueenB says:

        “which is nothing compared to most guys!”
        how would that even work out mathematically? if “most” guys have a certain number of women per year most women would also have that number of guys.
        and trust me most guys are not able to be with 4 women per year. maybe in college but even then the majority of men and women are not attractive enough for that.

      • Nola says:

        @Naila I’m not here to compare the number of flings women have against that of men. I’m strictly talking about Kristen. And I personally think her number of partners has to do with the fact that she has a aversion to being single.

        @lindsey I don’t have a source. I’m a fan of Kristen. And like anyone who’s a fan of a celebrity, I follow her comings and goings and also the gossip/tea around her. She has a pretty instense following online and they usually know what’s up with her before it’s reported.

        There’s nothing wrong with dating or having flings. However, when you have to go from one relationship to the next with little time between, it’s bc you’re avoiding something.

        Maybe that’s why she’s cheats/leapforgs So often bc she doesn’t spend time reflecting on the past relationship.

        And I say all this as a huge fan.

      • Lindsay says:

        Source that most guys have more than four relationships (not flings) in a year.

        44% of American men sleep with 4 or less partners their entire lives.

        I understand the Kristen stuff is speculation. I am sorry, I should have been more clear.

      • Brittney B. says:

        @ QueenB

        “and trust me most guys are not able to be with 4 women per year. maybe in college but even then the majority of men and women are not attractive enough for that.”

        You clearly didn’t attend my college… 700 kids total, but everyone managed to sleep with everyone by the time our four years were up. In my friend group, which was far from the “party” group… definitely at least 5 or 6 new partners per semester per person.

    • FF says:

      It’s not even the relationship leapfrogging that’s bothersome, it’s that the people hurt by her overlapping don’t seem to rate her consideration at all. It’s always about her.

      She seems to like alienating people to prove she’s some kind of new unknown quantity.

      The most irksome thing about her though are her rabid stans who can’t hear a bad word against her even when it’s true. Like chill: she aims to make herself pretty unlikable, so what’s the problem when it works?

      • Naila says:

        By insisting she is leapfrogging/overlapping you need to know the ins and outs of her dating schedule, and you don’t. You don’t know that Alicia is crying her eyes out because she’s so hurt. You are just assuming that, she could be shagging Ashley Benson for all you know, she was out with her a couple weeks ago! You also don’t know that there is any cheating going on but you decide it has.

        And if she is treated so badly by Kristen then why did she get back with her after splitting up and Kristen PDAing with Soko? i HEAR ‘Oh it’s a power imbalance’ thrown around but again, that’s an assumption made by people on the internet. It’s not based on any fact. It’s a little demeaning to Alicia to paint her as some sad sack waiting around for Kristen to get some strange. It’s you deciding she is so unlikable based on gossip comments and sketched together ‘timelines’.

    • QueenB says:

      “Source that most guys have more than four relationships (not flings) in a year.”

      “44% of American men sleep with 4 or less partners their entire lives.”

      entire lives not year. do you think the rest has more than that per year? its very unlikely. And take into account that men up their number.

  15. Naila says:

    I love how people have just made up an entire timeline based on a few photos and gossip. How does anybody know she’s a serial cheater as certain posters on here keep saying over and over? She said that she and Alicia had an up and down relationship and broke up a few times. Therefore Alicia is under no illusion that things are plain sailing. Maybe she takes up with someone in the off times? Stop painting her as the victim just because you want to make Kristen out to be the bad person in all of it. They just are not supposed to be together but obviously have feelings for each other and go back to each other. I’m betting lots of you have been in the same situation I know i have.

    Do i think she should be single for a while – sure! But its her life and i guess she currently likes rock stars. Alicia could have ended things for all anybody knows. Also, Alicia is 30. She’s not a kid and she has a good job independently of Kristen, if she is choosing to go back to Kristen when she supposedly has treated her so horribly then it’s her problem. In the meantime, Kristen and St Vincent are what lesbian dreams are made of and i’m going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts! Judge away!!!

    • FF says:

      I get that a lot of her stans like a state of terminal denial, though. Keep on. She’ll be caught publicly cheating again within a matter of weeks.

      Also: we don’t know she’s a serial cheater despite her being publicly caught out more than once but you claim to know the ins and outs of her arrangement with her ex-/gf and know just how everyone feels in said relationship. Ookay.

      • Naila says:

        FF – that’s all speculation. Why do you act like it’s fact? I couldn’t give a shit what Kristen gets up to. I stuck around as a fan all through the Rupert thing when there was WAY more ugliness than fucking ONTD and randoms like you going off on her. Seeing people call her every name under the sun and a slut and a whore and a cheat is water off a duck’s back to me. She worked her ass off and got herself a terrific career post Twilight and that’s what matters to me as a fan. But you can’t go around screaming and ranting about her being a serial cheater when you don’t know shit about the ins and outs of her life – you guys act like you know what she does on a minute by minute basis. You see a few photos here and there and you see her hang out or not hang out with various people and tie your stories together through that. But you do not know what happened between her and Alicia. It’s fanfiction. Nothing more.

      • Artemis says:

        Naila, Alicia and Kristen’s mutual friends have had a falling out with Kristen due to her cheating (with Agathe Mougin). She spend one day with Alicia and the next she was dumped.

  16. Jessie says:

    St Vincent is uberpretensious. She’s perfect for Kstew. They both take themselves so seriously, very self important people, i can see them together just fine. The big question is who is gonna provide the fun (and who is gonna cheat first … 😂

  17. Mac says:

    No idea who Kristen is dating, but St. Vincent is doing the music for Kristen short film. Perhaps the two are dating. Perhaps they are just friends. Perhaps Alicia cheated on Kristen. Perhaps Kristen cheated on Alicia. Or perhaps they just aren’t together. Perhaps Kristen is single. Perhaps she is dating both, and each knows about the other. I find it strange, that everyone believes they know what totally strangers are doing..

  18. Emily says:

    I thought St. Vincent was loved up with Cara Delevinge. A quick google search shows they broke up early September. I wonder if Kstew was involved?

  19. FF says:

    But is it all speculation?

    I found more tea on – just as someone here stated – fanforums and such and between her exes/hookups posting pictures of inside her house when they stayed there and people dropping screencaps, it looks to be true and, my goodness, this woman is even MORE messy than I had thought, which is quite the achievement.

    People label Soko crazy but when you look at the timeline using all the social media, candids, red carpet appearances, and papped hookups on one continuous thread, you really see a bigger picture and she is a stone MESS.

    That’s why she keeps going on about social media stalking: between the twihard delusionals saying she has 3 kids that track her every move and make up nonsense to cover reality with their (repeatedly proven) fake narrative, and the lchat worshippers – most who are team Argile, and a minority that appreciated Soko – who feel she can do no wrong and those on instagram you CAN actually learn TMI on her private life. No wonder she’s always crapping on it; I now get her reasons for the constant salty references.

    But yeah, believing it’s all speculation is fine. All the rest of us have to do is wait for the public exes, breakups, and recriminations to pile up – which they will eventually, especially at the rate she goes at.

    A while ago it was all speculation that she was stepping out on Patty. And then all speculation she had a girlfriend. Hell no one would have believed that Soko tangent if they hasn’t had extensive PDA all over Paris and been photographed. Ditto Agathe Mougin. And as for St Vincent: all speculation, it’s just coincidence that Cara dumped her right after pictures of her and KStew surfaced.

    It’s funny how her defenders accuse people of buying speculation when it’s not just the speculation but the evidence around it that supports it that people are buying. But I’m glad you’re free to think what you like because so am I. She’s shady af. And you always know she’s got a new s.o. when she starts wearing/twinning their clothes.

    But it’s all speculation, right?

  20. FF says:

    ps – @ Naila literally no one here is screaming or ranting about anything except the KStew Calumny Patrol getting bent out of shape that she’s an observable serial cheater.

    Her stans are so extra. Istg people would have long forgotten about Stew’s latest messes and daft interviews if they could chill for 5 seconds but no, they are set on permanently pressed and staying there like their lives depended on it.

    Back on topic: at least now I get why KStew keeps going back to Argile: she’s tolerant and keeps it qt. It’s all her exes friends that Stew keeps ticking off big time, and they keep a lot of receipts.