Judd Apatow is political now. I think it started when he (weirdly) became the voice of the anti-Bill Cosby movement, then Judd sort of morphed into anti-Donald Trump stuff. To be fair, everyone started getting political during the election cycle and to be fair, I don’t think Judd Apatow ever claimed to be the voice of any kind of liberal movement. He was just bitching on Twitter like the rest of us, and he was the one getting a lot of attention. Anyway, post-election, Judd has been moving through the five stages of grief. He blamed Hillary Clinton for a while, and maybe he still does. But now he’s using stand-up to talk about how the Trump presidency makes him feel “raped.” Apatow took part in a stand-up gig to promote the new HBO show Crashing, and his stand-up act was the most popular:
When Trump was elected, Apatow said, he felt like “a person about to get raped, but I didn’t know how bad it would be.” Now that Trump is president, he added, “I feel like I’ve just been raped and I just don’t know if I’m going to get murdered.”
The L.A. crowd applauded, knowingly.
Soon, he had moved on to the First Family, including Melania Trump, who has refused to even move into the White House. “That’s pretty bad,” he said. “I mean, think about it: Hillary Clinton didn’t move out of the White House and her husband got a blowjob in it.” As for Melania, he said he “understands” why she’s staying away. “Every day she’s not in the White House is a day she’s not getting f–ked by Donald Trump,” Apatow said. “Wouldn’t you stay away?”
Apatow even included a few jokes about Barron Trump, a risky move that got Saturday Night Live writer Katie Rich suspended from the show last month. But unlike that controversial tweet, Apatow’s joke was not at the 10-year-old Trump’s expense.
“He f–king gets it,” Apatow said of the president’s youngest son. “You ever see the look on his face when Trump’s talking?” he asked, imitating the aloof expression. “People are like, ‘Is there something wrong with him?’ No! He knows his dad’s a f–king a–hole!”
Later, he expanded on a common observation about Trump: He doesn’t laugh. “Laughter is how we connect, it’s how you show people you love them,” Apatow said. “He only laughs when he makes someone feel bad. What does he do to laugh, just go on YouTube and watch Special Olympics bloopers?”
Maybe you had to be there to find it funny? Because this doesn’t read as that funny. I laugh more while reading random Twitter trolling of Emperor Baby Fists. Those Swedes were hysterical over the weekend! As for the “rape” comparison… ugh. Comedians always want a different set of rules for when they’re working out material on-stage and I don’t think Judd was, like, mocking the experience of being raped? But he was dancing on the edge of making light of it. It feels like Judd is coming close to telling rape victims, “Ladies, I know how you feel now that Trump is president.” And that is not a great thing for a male comedian. Plus, there’s a lot of evidence that suggests that the entire election and Trump’s electoral victory was genuinely triggering and traumatic for victims of rape and sexual assault. Is Judd making light of that?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Certain things are not to be joked about.
Everything can be joked about. But not everyone can joke about everything.
I fully agree
I don’t know if I agree with this, but if you’re going to joke about such a painful subject you better be damn sure it’s funny.
This was NOT funny.
Agree! Why does anyone think they know what it’s liked to be raped or about to be raped unless they have experienced it themselves? Just UGH!
devils advocate here: must one personally experience something to know the gravity of the topic?
surely it cannot only be “rape victim” or “he who doesn’t take rape seriously”
When it’s rape, yeah. You don’t just go around saying “I feel like I’ve just been raped” when you don’t know what an actual rate feels like. That kind of negates his whole joke, unless he actually has been raped. How does he know he feels like he’s just been raped if he’s never been raped?
i meant to edit to add, I’m a victim of rape, if it even matters.
everything in life is in some degree something that other people just can’t fully grasp unless they experience it themselves. the rest is our interpretation and response. on everything. working, staying at home. having money. being beautiful. losing a child. being abused. being raped.
there are those who struggle with empathy, and those who really do their best to understand. I think in drawing comparisons to things one hasn’t experienced, one has to be careful, but I think JA was coming from a place of most innocent comparisons (considering the topic)
Great post Wiffie. My reaction would be to feel that JA should not have made that comparison, but your post is more nuanced than that.
@Wiffie, I agree with you. We have to stop taking things litteraly all the time and take that energy to be offended when things are really offensive and people mean what they say, you know, like muslim bans.
This culture of offensiveness is a bit much for me and I don’t think it can do any good to the victims themselves who now label themselves as survivors, which is much better.
My daughter was raped last year. You have no idea how hard it has been for us – for her. You have no idea how many series films, books mention rape as a narrative trigger. And usually the rapist is caught. Hers wasn’t.
We asked her if that is ok. She said yes and continued watching the thriller she was watching at the time. She is healing by staying out there and understanding that something awful happened to her. And that when you are trying to define something violent and invasive that you would never in a million years wish upon yourself or others, such as fascim, the word rape can be used metaphorically, will be used and that’s fine. Stories will be told about it for the sake of a thrill for the spectator.
I am just sharing this because it has been a learning curve and I thought it might bring something to the discussion.
@WIFFIE – I agree with others that rape is an EXTREMELY touchy subject and I don’t feel it should be joked about or used flippantly. I have been raped and I literally CRINGE when ppl use ithe word out of context. A coworker uses it when she feels she has paid too much (i.e. They are raping me with these prices)…
JUST NO!
It’s been my experience that people (I would assert men especially) who have been violently raped do not throw the word around lightly. And yeah, those who do not have personal, first-hand experience with the act can’t relate. The best “empathizer” in the universe doesn’t know how rape affects a life until it happens to them. Our hyperbole culture makes light of so many other negative experiences as well.
Loose analogy: As a preteen I was at a public event (church? I can’t recall) and an overweight adult was going on and on to those around her about how she hadn’t eaten since dinner last night. She was STARVING! Get her a chair, she was feeling nauseous and faint! I just stood there with my face flushing, knowing the only thing I’d eaten in four days was ketchup crackers. I’d have given anything to be someone else. Someone not hungry and shamed at its depth.
I realize hunger isn’t rape. But the sentiment is the same. Rape victims (myself included) do wish for your definition, Judd. It seems so much more survivable than the reality.
@ruddy:
Just because a person is overweight doesn’t mean they won’t feel nauseous and like they are going to faint if they haven’t eaten for an extended period of time. Just because you have had it worse in terms of how long you’ve gone without food doesn’t make their experiences less real. That person probably did feel nauseous and like they were going to faint. I’ve experienced they same thing from not eating for an extended period of time.
The trauma of Trump taking office has been extreme for me, but I would not jump to a rape analogy. More like being afraid to fall asleep because Freddy Krueger is coming for me.
Yes, this is what I was going to say. I get that he was trying to come up with a powerful analogy because Trump evokes powerful feelings but he crossed the line.
I think a lot of people feel seriously traumatized and scared for their friends and family. While I wouldn’t use a rape joke to express that, I do see a common theme reoccurring recently: words failing people who are trying to express THIS level of horror at current events.
I do think people are sincerely troubled. Very different than rape, though (obviously).
I think it’s possible to make funny (and righteous) rape jokes. For example, the rape joke in Blazing Saddles is both funny and ethical because it is satirising bad attitudes towards rape.
What is NEVER funny is to make a joke that trivialises rape by centring yourself as a victim of something and this is somehow equivalent to having been raped.
The stupidity of many male comedians who seem unable to see the differences never fails to amaze me.
Yes, I very much agree with this. No topic is sacrosanct in the sense that it cannot be joked about, but many topics require sensitivity, a delicate touch, and a joke that punches the right direction.
I think it does take skill, and an understanding of nuance that most people don’t possess. Many of these comedians seem to take the scatter shot method though, throw out a bunch of jokes and see which one sticks. It’s lazy and bad form, and then they get mad when people call them out on being lazy, with poor form.
No honey, I didn’t laugh, but its not because I’m sensitive, its because you are dumb and lazy and bad at your job.
I genuinely don’t think his intent was to minimize the seriousness of rape. Quite the opposite, I think he was trying to stress the severity of his reaction and the seriousness of the situation. I completely relate. My reaction to “that orange man” has been extreme. More extreme than I can control and frightening and traumatizing. I have lost close decades-long relationships over it. I feel that my life has changed significantly and I have changed and will never be the same. I give Judd a pass on this one, I get how he feels (and I have been a victim of rape myself).
Do not. Talk about rape or the Holocaust. Unless you are actually talking about. Rape or the Holocaust.
Oh FFS, Judd. You were not raped. You don’t know what that feels like. STFU.
When has a rape analogy (especially by a man who has an extremely low chance of ever being raped) ever worked?
As upsetting as a Trump presidency is, this is a false equivalency and is tone deaf to actual victims.
This.
Jesus, here we go AGAIN.
You know what is like rape? Rape.
End of.
So, so sick of hearing this phrase tossed out,
Only rape is rape. Not funny.
I don’t think he was purposefully making light of anyone’s trauma, but it wasn’t a smart joke.
For sure. He wasn’t purposeful, he was glibly on autopilot, and I think that is part of the problem.
Rape seems to be minimised because it’s a traditionally female problem. One that men frequently cause, but still feel able to joke about. Because they don’t have that friend, or many friends, that they had to help escape, that they had to pick up the pieces for; they most likely have never been violated, not raped, not abused, their bodies not taken as common property; and so, they don’t understand the nuance and possible trauma associated with it. Woman live with this truth, while men get to joke about the pain they cause and tell us the stfu and stop being sensitive when they say the all funny things.
Not remotely funny or clever.
No. You don’t. STFU. And leave the kid alone. He’s the one person in that family who’s not complicit.
+1000
Barron is off limits. Period.
I concur.
I agree 100%.
I’d agree if the joke was an attack on the kid, but he didn’t say anything bad about Barron Trump (which he shouldn’t have, because like everyone said, he’s an innocent child who didn’t get to choose his parents), he directed the attack on Donald Trump as a president.
People need to stop comparing things to being raped. We should know better by now
No No No and No! Rape is no joke and this type of “joke” by celebrities don’t make it ok. It makes it “business as usual” and an ordinary thing. That’s just wrong especially coming from him.. We didn’t march for this. We protesting on the streets for our rights alright and among this the virtual trolling bashing sexism that we have to go against each day. So for Apatow to go after Cosby and then make this type of joke is f..ing sad. I don’t know I have a line for him say “It remind me of how I felt when my manhood was fingered during a sex orgy with a straight mate of mine”.. See no need to bring rape on the table
mark of a failed comedian? almost past his sell-by date?
there are many more creative ways to make fun of Trump, especially since Trump himself gave new materials every time he breathes.
to use rape or invokw Godwin’s law so early in the game and in such a tastless unimaginative way is it not a sign of laziness and lack of creativity?
much like when Emily Ratajkowski reminded people about the many things we can be joking about Melania without descending into calling her sl*t or wh**e.
Unless you are a rape victim, for the love of god do NOT use that word as a verb for your political arguments. So hurtful for actual rape victims. It’s abusive, disgusting, and beyond disrespectful. Grow up and develop a vocabulary.
I have read / heard people say that they know what it’s like to lose a child because they have lost a pet (“furry child”, “fuzzy baby” or some such). This reminds me a bit of that.
Judd is a tool. I used to like him but I do think he’s quite selfish and full of himself. He’s starting to give me a jerry Seinfeld vibe.
Gross. He could have said that he feels violated by the current political climate to express himself. Apatow is canceled.
I was just gonna post the same thing. He could have said “violated” or “robbed” and the rest of the joke would still work.
I agree – I get the sentiment behind his comment, but there were much better ways to express that.
My guess he knew that and still opted for the more controversial one.
Oh FFS isn’t he a writer? There are so many words and phrases out there and he has to pick that one. how about violate? thesaurus is your friend.
Nope.
NO, Apatow, you elitist asshat. Just no.
He shits me. I always felt there was something off about him. His book title “Sick in the Head” might be a clue.
If Apatow had ever been raped, I doubt he would use it in a comedy act. He’s using it as hyperbole here, and for me that just falls flat.
Whenever anyone compares something that isn’t raped to “feeling” raped, you automatically lose respect you once had from those of us who HAVE been raped. Apatow was tolerably funny, but now just seems like another idiot, comparable to the man he felt “raped” by.
I certainly appreciate his point, but, as above, he knows nothing about being a woman and being raped. He is brilliant enough to have chosen another way to express his feelings.
Things I Love:
How these comedians are gonna get ready to school us about having a sense of humor ( Come On Ya’ll know is coming)
How Rape is a Joke serious enough to paint a pic of devastation, FOR MEN/”COMEDIANS”
How when a real Human Girl gets rape and comes forward and wants prosecution is “Not that serious” and leniency must be sought for the Rapist so his life isnt forever tarnished
Two things in life that you can not compare something to: being raped or being a Nazi. If you reference either of those things you will be — and should be — raked over the coals for being incredibly insensitive.
I don’t understand why public figures don’t learn this lesson. Especially an intelligent grown-up like Judd Apatow. Some ding-bat startlet, sure. But he should know better.
Trump is so despised and his critics so sure of themselves that some of them think it’s OK to say anything they want when criticising him. However some of the crap that comes out of their mouths says more about them than it does about Trump.
Seriously?
Men and boys get raped, too. Not only in prison. Definitely not to the same degree as women, but, still.
I head someone describe Trump’s Presidency as I’m passenger in a car with a drunk driver and I can’t get out. That’s how I feel also about Trump.
Yeah, i’ve noticed that Trump doesn’t laugh. Not sure what to make of it though.
I personally think that he has a lot of respect for women and in this context I can understand the use of the word ‘rape’. I too feel violated and as if ‘something has been taken from me by force’, it’s my liberties, it’s people’s dignity.
Also, I agree totally agree with him making a point of Trump not laughing – humour is humanising and I think right now that humour can be validating. I don’t really want to sit around and have a serious conversation about how violated I feel but yeah I do want to have a (possibility bitter) laugh when someone raises how I feel in jest.
Yes he’s a man, and yes it’s a horror topic but if a man is going to do it he should be one who at least understand the weight of the word and I think Aptow really does.
Nope. And please feel free to elaborate on how Judd Apatow of all people – a painfully unfunny, privileged man in Hollywood – UNDERSTANDS the weight of the word rape? The mere fact that he is using it undermines your point. We women didn’t march a month ago so that men could throw that word around be it in a comedy routine or not. And if he’s using he word rape in public like that? Then guess what? He’s most likely used it before in a manner that he thought was equally funny, my guess is it’s not the first time he’s used it and gives MORE than a glimpse into his true character.
Bashing Trump does NOT excuse this.
It’s tasteless and not funny, but I’m a believer in comics saying whatever they want. It’s not my job to censor them & it’s a slippery slope when you say “this tasteless and offensive thing is OK, but this one is not.”
Not the beat choice of words however that is why comedians go to test out material privately. We shouldn’t even know about this. I’m new to standup. It won’t survive if everyone is letting out what u say privately before you can edit yourself