On Saturday Jennifer Garner went to the gym, which is typical for her. (She goes to Body by Simone, as you can see Simone in the background in one of those pics. I love her workouts on YouTube!) On Sunday she went to church with her kids, also as usual, and Ben was not there, as he usually is not. As you know, Ben went public late last week with a woman he’s been dating, an SNL Producer named Lindsay Shookus. It’s unclear whether he did it on purpose or whether he just got “caught” by the paparazzi. Garner sources claim that Ben and Lindsay have been seeing each other for over three year. Affleck sources claim it was just three months and they were only friends before. My theory is that Affleck had a bunch of sidechicks on the hook and that Lindsay is the one who stuck around after the nanny scandal, the on-off bullsh-t with Garner in the tabloids, and all his promises which inevitably fell through. Lindsay was also in an unhappy marriage (probably because she was cheating with Ben) but living very close to her ex and coparenting with him, so she may have bonded with Ben over their similar situations.
Both People Magazine and US have stories from Garner’s perspective and while most people believe that she’s the one who blew the lid off Ben’s longstanding affair after he got papped with Lindsay, she’s playing it cool. Garner is the cool mom in official sources and she’s the one behind the scenes who patiently waits to get her story out when it’s warranted. I admire her game. Of course she’s thinking of her kids by being silent for so long, but ultimately she’s telling her truth and letting us get a glimpse of some of the sh-t she’s seen. Here is People’s report from her side:
Jennifer Garner isn’t happy that Ben Affleck is moving on with a woman connected to his past — but she’s staying in “mama-bear mode,” sources say.
“It’s not an easy situation for Jen,” says a source close to the actress.
She expected Affleck to start dating publicly following their split and divorce filing in April, says the source: “She knew it would happen soon. Ben just can’t be alone.”
The first source close to Garner says “it would have been easier for Jen if Ben would have just dated someone that Jen wasn’t familiar with.” But another source says Garner, 45, has long since moved on: “Of course there are issues given it was a major affair, but Jen is her own woman and is completely fine. Nothing is new for her here. She’s in mama-bear mode . . . putting the kids’ happiness first.”
Shookus, who shares a daughter with her ex, hasn’t met Affleck and Garner’s kids yet, the source close to Garner says. “Jen and Ben have talked about not introducing the kids to people they date until it’s serious,” the source explains — adding that now Garner “isn’t thinking about dating — she just wants to protect and spend time with the kids.”
“As long as he stays healthy and sober, she will support him spending as much time with the kids as he wants,” the Garner source says. Affleck completed treatment for alcohol addiction in March.
I love that line from People “She knew it would happen soon. Ben just can’t be alone.” In my mind I also hear “bless his heart.” You can also read the shade in “As long as he stays healthy and sober…” She’s not expecting him to stay sober, not when he’s back with this random, not when he likely swore up and down he would no longer see her, only to take up with the nanny a few months after he got busted cheating with Lindsay. Imagine what Garner has gone through and how hard she’s worked to save her family’s image and to save Ben’s image. She’s done this for years. A lot of people call her weak and codependent for this, and there’s an element of that definitely. There’s also strength in hiding and plotting, and she was thinking of her family and her bottom line. She covered up for Ben for years and he’s about to find out what it’s like when she doesn’t keep her mouth shut. Imagine all the other dirt she has and how much damage she could do. This is just a warning from her. She’s calculated as hell and Ben probably didn’t even imagine she was capable of going this far.
There are several other stories and similar-sounding sourced quotes we haven’t covered yet but it’s clear now which side is leaking which quotes. Radar has a story about how Jen caught Ben cheating when a high end boutique called to verify an expensive ring he allegedly bought for Lindsay. It’s possible Radar concocted that story, but we know Ben’s MO and so does Garner.
photos credit: WENN and Backgrid
I feel like this is an oddly similar story that we had last week, regarding Patton, and how quickly men seem to rebound . Although Patton is widowed and Ben is a dog, that I get. It reminds me of the theme that men need to have a significant other , while women don’t .
No, it’s not similar at all. Patton and his daughter suffered a devastating loss and, through therapy and good fortune, have found some shred of happiness in a darkness I (fortunately) cannot begin to imagine. I hope you cannot imagine it, either, so don’t presume to judge it. To lump him together with Affleck is disgusting.
Cosign x 1 million. Tired of people judging this truly nice guy (he used to come into a shop I worked at) for finding happiness after a life-stopping tragedy.
Or is it just that women are expected to stay alone for a significant amount of time between relationships, less society deem them sluts.
Heidi, indeed ladies are usually slut shamed for fast rebounds. Funny enough he’s not rebounding or jumping into something! (Like a slut?!) he’s just been seeing her for years, like a cheater.
But really another aspect men have it much easier. You think a divorced/widowed woman with kids is going to find a (somewhat) quality man. No way, not as quickly as men can anyway.
Women are expected to give up or compromise much much more to start a new relationship than men, divorced or kids notwithstanding.
Now if you are a strong independent woman, even without kids, you would not want to date the next guy around the corner.
It took me about a year and half to find myself in a proper relationship after I broke off from a significant one very badly. The ones I met in between and passed over, was simply not worth my time.
There are actually enough women as men who jumps to the next guy immediately for a variety of reasons.
I am sorry but Jen is messed up like Ben! maybe in different ways. Noone forced her. She isn’t the first person in the history of time to say she was staying because of the kids. That’s old rope now. She stayed because she wanted to. NOW he is nervous she will throw him under a bus. Its so very messed up. They both are. He probably stayed out of guilt for the kids and felt bad leaving when the youngest would have been a baby. He waited it out and she let him. She could have gone years ago but CHOSE TO STAY….and get revenge?
You can’t put your hand in the lion’s mouth and moan when it bites. This has been happening to Jen for years and she hasn’t learned. Ben’s a lost cause.
Can we not blame people stuck in bad relationships? It’s always more complicated than it seems.
Thank you Shijel! Exactly!
Ben may be a lost cause but he is still the father of her children and she propably stayed to try to save her mariage and their family and who can blame her for that. Mariage is not supposed to be easy anywhay she probably thought she could save their mariage.
the best thing they both should do is to move on and be happy with other people for the sake of their children. I always tought that she handled the whole situation with a lot of class actually, I don’t see where she is throwing him under the bus.
So your saying he stayed for the kids? Don’t you think she stayed for the same reason – the kids – but that’s an ok reason for him but not for her? He stays for them and its ok, she stays for them and she is a doormat?????
He stayed for the kids AND WHILE “STAYING FOR THE KIDS” banged anyone willing, gambled, was an alcoholic and allegedly (pretty much for sure) was addicted to HARDCORE drugs. She stayed for the kids AND ??? No known of dalliances, no substance abuse, no gambling on her part – So why can is it excusable for him to stay for the sake of the kids and not her?
Its an undisputable fact that he could have left this marriage and pulled the plug AT ANY TIME on his own. So while she did not pull the plug – HE DID NOT EITHER. What I do not get is how anybody with any common sense can switch this around to put the blame on Jen. He could have gotten out AT ANY TIME. Last time I checked he was over 21 and considered a legal adult able to make his own decisions. Who was the clinger? He wanted her to do the dirty work so he could save face and he KNEW she would, or odds were good, that she would not release all of the dirt because of the kids. I truly do NOT believe she has even begun to release all the dirt she has and I DO believe that she will never release it all – BECAUSE OF THE KIDS! And he knows that.Maybe dribbles but not the real gritty stuff.
@ScotiaGirl Very well said. You put your finger on it.
@ ScoitiaGirl, Exactly! I don’t understand the pass Ben gets from several commenters on this site. Your comment was SPOT ON!
Neither one stayed for the kids. They stayed for their image. Both of them.
She stayed because she loves his cheating ass and is pr obsessed. He stayed because he’s pr obsessed.
Umm, Ben has said he’s basically the fun parent and Jennifer garner is the main full time parent. He really didn’t have to stay for the kids as they’ll probably have similar dynamic now anyway. He’ll be the fun weekend dad that he’s always been.
Well said. If he was so unhappy that he had multiple affairs, he could have ended it too. But, in addition to trying to do the best for their kids, I think he really enjoyed his happy family image when he was rebooting his career too.
I don’t think she’s said anything horrible or shocking about him. “Ben probably didn’t even imagine she was capable of going this far.” ?? This far what? Through sources her camp said he had an affair. Is this news to anyone? Is this shocking, considering he was caught messing around with the nanny too?
How’s that staying work for his image Luca? Would have been alot better for his image if he had of manned up and left. She might have stayed for PR reasons like you assume, but while staying she never balantly did all this. He destroyed his PR not his marriage. He is responsible not her. She stayed clean on all accounts while staying!
Exactly. Spot on. Maybe is the ex husband that is leaking the info. Why are they always blaming Jen?
Being married to a wealthy, famous addict when you have children is a whole lot more complicated than “messed up.” Was she concerned about losing control of the situation and having to share custody? Was she worried about her own career? Of course! This is a warning shot that says: “We’re divorced, do not forget that co- parenting will occur on my terms (your randoms will have no place in my or my children’s lives), and my reputation and earnings will not suffer.” She’s also preparing for when he starts up again–this is the self-destructive cycle of Affleck–boom is inevitably followed by bust.
Their poor kids.
I don’t know. I can understand saying this about Jon and Kate’s kids, but the Affleck children seem to be okay. Sure Ben can be a dawg, and Garner is likely a control freak, but they do seem to be hands on parents and both generally care about the balance and well being of their children. I also think it is good that Jen is open to letting Ben see the children as much as he wants as long as he is sober. The ball is in his court and being a present figure in the lives of his children should be enough reason to stay clean.
Sure, but for years and years they provided their kids with a very unhealthy dynamic. Oh yes Serahina and Violet, if your husband constantly cheat, you should stay, close your eyes and help him rebuild his image. Yes, Sam it’s OK to cheat and humiliate your partner, there’s zero consequence for that.
I pity these kids. Their father is a wreck and their mother is intent on destroying his life in the press. I can only imagine the tension that is now between them as a result of the last several days.
I feel sorry for Denise Richard’s and Charlie Sheen’s kids. And Brooke Mueller? and Charlie Sheen’s kids. If I think of ‘celebrity’ kids.
I will just repeat what other commenters said – Jennifer Garner seems to be more into her image.
I said this before. Ben gives me Charlie Sheen vibes. His trajectory is not good IMO.
I feel for them too.
Already did a long post on the ben thread.
Superficial.. she looks great in her workout gear; more so than in her daily clothes.
I had no idea she was 45. She looks great
The comment “He just can’t be alone” is very telling.
Its kind of funny, because he can’t be alone is such an understatement. He can’t even be alone with one person, he’s got to have at least another side piece.
Right? That was my thought – “alone” is Affleck-relative.
“He just can’t keep it in his pants” would be a more accurate statement.
I didn’t realise Jen was 45! She’s aging like a fine wine, damn. Even with some cosmetic support, it’s not overdone as I never thought she had fillers etc. Maybe she’s doing non-invasive or something?
Oh, these two. This separation has been interminable. Move it along, guys!
Make up, break up – just shut up.
They will never shut up. Running to the tabs to keep us updated and calling the paps are vital aspects of their life.
She looks nice in the skirt and top. I wonder why she doesn’t dress like that more often.
Men usually jump right into a relationship after ending one or in this case continue a relationship after ending one.
Yep. My dad can’t be alone. My parents divorced when I wasn’t even double digits and my dad a very young girlfriend within months of their separation. He has had several wives. It probably affected me more when I was young, but as an adult, I accept my dad as he is but I don’t let his codependency encroach on my life.
Is she still “thinking of her family and her bottom line” now that she’s running to the tabloids every day in this smear campaign? PUH-lease. Just goes to show how full of sh*t she was with the whole “no one has to hate him for me”… “my eyes were wide open” nonsense. Now that she’s can’t have him, she’s going to make life hell for whomever he chooses. Is Ben the one who can’t be alone, or is Jen the one who refuses to be without Ben? She’s proven that she’s still VERY much hung up on him still and probably will never move on with anyone else. No wonder she doesn’t have a career anymore — she’s too busy plotting and scheming with trashy rags.
How do we know for sure that Jen, or Ben even, are running to the tabloids, could it be that oh I don’t know say the tabloids are doing their job and digging and finding this juicy stuff on their own.
How do we know that they both aren’t indeed way above all this and in fact moving on and its all JUST US on these boards inventing all this ruckus and spinning. We might be the ones not moving on – not them?
Agree. And who’s so naive they don’t realize that tabs don’t hesitate to make things up and embellish. That old “friend of” is so convenient.
Don’t be so naive. Of course it’s Jen. She didn’t wait even 12 hours before E published photos of Ben and his new gf before blabbing to Us weekly about their affair years ago. No one else had motive (or the knowledge, or the connections) to do that.
Not at all naive. But you go ahead with your belief that the tabs would never print anything that is not stringently sourced.
Tabs can be trashy but there are tells when it is someone’s mouthpiece blabbing. Celebs use the tabs all of the time to push a narrative. She has always used pap strolls and planted stories. The story will be one sided and flattering in excess to one party and give negative incriminating stories about the other.
Does she realise that’s not at all flattering to her?
She’s pretty much confirming Ben just fell into dating her after J.Lo because she made herself available and he can’t be alone.
Hey remember when she used to be an actress? Yeah, me neither.
Well at least her dog of an ex will keep her in the news for awhile. I guess that’s something.
Wow…..
She still does a few projects a year. Mostly kid/family movies so not stuff I usually go see, but she’s still working.
Its interesting she managed to get the press about their vacation out before this dropped.
It makes him look even worse.
He may be good at manipulating the press, but I think she has the edge here. He looks like hes trying to go ‘hollywood’, and ditch his long suffering wife, and she looks like the saint. Which is funny, because shes kind of more Hollywood than the new piece.
The new piece, who he probably has convinced he left his wife for HER.
I am no way supporting Ben-but she is no angel either. She was married to Scott Foley briefly-he is adorable. She had an affair with Michael Vartan (also adorable) and left both for the big prize-Ben Affleck. She knew what she was doing.
Amen.
She wanted Affleck, she got him, as well as the perks of his income. Foley and Vartan couldn’t be buying huge mansions on TV salaries, nor winning Oscars.
I met Scott Foley in person. SO DAMN HOT!
i ENVY you !!
Btw, I tried his peanut-butter and egg sandwich. Not my thing but OK.
I know right! I wonder if she’s sorry but more I doubt. Does church help her be a nicer woman? It hasn’t worked for my mother in law. I almost wonder if she just takes her kids to church for the image
For someone, who apparently has moved on too, there’s a lot of passive aggressive Jabs.
I don’t think he told her he was going to be coming out on this relationship, AND lie about the origins of it. That’s the kind of thing that, given the public feeding frenzy of their status, they really should have been worked out. I would hope she would have done the same before going public with someone new. That’s just courtesy to your ex, I think.
He went too far this time, lying about something that was very devastating to her and their family. She finally was done with covering up his lies and called him on them. I don’t think that is passive aggressive. That’s just plain justice and I can relate to being pushed just a little too far and pushing back.
She’s criticized as a doormat when she stays silent and endures – and I do think it was about keeping the family together while the kids were so very young. Then, she is pushed past the limit and does strike back (and I think most of us would do the same), and she’s passive aggressive? Can she win at all?
@Learning the System, do you prefer to ignore the dragging out of their divorce? The friendly regular photo-ops “for the children”, staying on the same property “for the chldren”, creating a relationship -limbo with separated but not really parents and him being 95% of the time in a bad mood? There was a lot done in the name of these children.
I think that Jennifer fought actively for him with all resources she could muster and…she lost. She couldn’t duty-shame him into staying and she’s known it for months as it seems. He looked ready to go last summer, so I don’t agree that she was “pushed too far”. It was a matter of time that he starts another relationship. At this point Jennifer doesn’t have much of a game apart of taking the same children as a shield and position herself as a martyr mother. And I bet he still won’t give a d*mn. She knows it. And what CAN she reveal that the public hasn’t already speculated about? Would it make her feel better/look better if she confirms some speculations? Unless he’s a child molester or f*cks goats at full moon I don’t know what won’t make her look petty and bitter.
He didn’t “start” a new relationship. He went public with a relationship that started years ago, while their youngest child was barely 2, which he had in secret. He staged that “relationship” as a fresh start, rather than just making public what started as serial cheating and has continued in secret for years. I really think she could have handled a clean start. But, creating the fiction the way he did is just wrong. The drive for justice in me thinks it was fair for her to put out there the truth. He can have this relationship, but let it be based on the truth of how it started, not the lies. Isn’t it time someone called out his lies? He is free to and should be with whoever he wants.
I really believe she is done with him and has been for a while. He’s clearly been struggling with addictions and has kept close with him so that he could be around the kids, but safely. Would you have wanted to let someone like him alone with your kids?
Also, I think he’s been making more promises about change (motivated by the nanny coming out, which I do think freaked him out). I’ve been with a manipulative liar, and they can be very good about convincing you of what you want to hear.
I think this push back was just because 1) this was the relationship that finally broke her and 2) he lied about what was a devastating set of facts to her.
I would have done the same, as would many posting here.
If Jen is truly worried about the childrens’ safety when they are in his care, then she needs to take that up with a family court judge, not play games in the press. Nothing about this was ever about the kids, or keeping Ben in their lives. It was about keeping Ben in HER life, because she can’t let him go, and if he goes anyway, she’s going to make him sorry.
@Learningthe System: “start a new relationship” was merely a figure of speech, I’m sorry that you find it inacurate. In a case of a serial cheater I personaly find it irrelevant if it’s new or old. I think he felt free to go public with another woman and would have done so even if it was a brand new one and not his mistress of three years. Jennifer would have been hurt whoever the woman. I don’t get ““it would have been easier for Jen if Ben would have just dated someone that Jen wasn’t familiar with.” She was hurt from the no-name-no body-nanny too.
I agree that she was ready mentally to end it with Ben as a husband, but not with her position as his wife, the rank, the power and so on. Supposedly she’s well liked and well connected. We’ll see how it will go.
And before I forget- your point about him staging a narrative-I think she’s been staging actively for years and I don’t pity her. It’s just that she seems a lot better than him at it.
@Micki, he absolutely has the right to go public with whomever, whenever. One of the things I used to say to my kids was “you can choose your actions, but be careful what they are, as you can’t usually choose your consequences.” He chose to go public with someone who had been an active part of a huge amount of pain for Jen (I believe what is said about what transpired there). He chose to lie about the background of it to make it look all clean and pretty. If the truth of what really happened comes out and it makes him look bad, isn’t that on him? He cheated and then lied to paint the story as something different, and the truth came out and it looks bad. I don’t see how that’s not his own fault for choosing that path and risking the fallout?
Jen’s previous relationships (in which she possibly cheated) had the equal opportunity to come out and call her out on those, but they haven’t.
Jen hasn’t called Ben out on any of his alleged other women (Blake, Emily, etc., etc., etc.). I think that’s telling. Didn’t she kinda call him out on the Nanny in her Vanity interview, too? It was subtle, but it was absolutely there.
I don’t question she can play the game, and very well. In perspective, I know this is all Hollywood stuff and real life is so much bigger and more important. Hollywood is a big fishbowl and the fish perform tricks to get our attention. Well, here we are.
To me, though it does reek of the pervasiveness of the fact that women still tend to put the responsibility for all bad things on the woman, and not the man who ultimately made the choices that created the situation.
I don’t think I can trully follow the “resposibility” part. I haven’t so far written (even once I think) that Jennifer is at fault for the end of the marriage or that she pushed him to cheating, drugs or alcohol. That’s solely on him. It was however her decision to stay and cover for him. For years. And even bring more children in this mess of a marriage. And that’s solely on her.
@Micki, my commentary is really arising out of the recent events and the reactions to those, not to the years of marriage and what transpired. We have no idea what was going on in that marriage – why she stayed or why he stayed. They both EQUALLY made those choices, and where they are today is a result of those – for all of them. Sadly, it will be the kids who ultimately bear the brunt of the consequences of their choices and I hope they will receive the love and counseling needed to become healthy adults.
My comment about responsibility is just about what’s happened in the past few days. Ben’s announcement that turns out to have been deceptive and misleading (allegedly) and Jen’s (alleged) calling that out.
It just seems Jen’s being attacked for not letting that particular lie go unchallenged, because she hasn’t called him out in the past. We all have to pick our fights, so is it hypocrisy if this happens to be the fight she chooses to take up? I don’t think it is. I think it just finally crossed whatever line she had drawn for herself as to what she would accept and what she would not. Each of us may have put that line in a different spot, but it’s her’s to place.
I see this happen time and again in real life and in Hollywood – men challenged by women who are then labeled bitter or worse for speaking up. It does stir my ire – not just Jen specifically, but the unfairness of the attacks across the board, IMO.
I think that Jennifer is an easy prey to attack because she tried her best to keep the Image to the very end. Ben is being Ben is being Ben….But he has already had one very open affair with the nanny, so calling him a philanderer (again)…I don’t know if that will have long term effect on his career. Only time will tell. I guess he’ll stay A-list.
For the sake of the children I hope that Ben and Jennifer stay civilized to each other. But I bet it won’t happen.
Maybe Garner would be happier if she had a job, rather than desperately clinging to her ex husband’s coat tails, calling the paps and leaking stories about him every damn day.
I hope you are not a woman saying that?!? If you are , please turn in your card at the door on your way out. Women have GOT to stop using the same lines men use to put women down!!!!!
Sorry if that’s harsh (and it is, so I do apologize). I just get so frustrated with that kind of talk by a woman about a woman.
She is working. He set this up when he lied. She was provoked and responded, as I think most of us would.
GR is just speaking the TRUTH about Garner.
[Deep sigh.] Oh my word. Men really just have to stand back and watch women destroy each other, don’t they? No effort even needed on their part.
[Deep sigh.] And destroying your ex-husband’s new girlfriend’s reputation in the tabloids. No need for a man to do that, when the ex-wife will happily do it.
@Alma, the new girlfriend destroyed her own reputation. She did the deed and then agreed to the lies to cover it up. Someone else telling the truth about it isn’t destroying the reputation. It’s simply exposing a lie.
Jen participated in covering up for years and look at the lack of respect it has earned her. She’s not participating any more and look at the lack of respect it is earning her. #nowinning
Garner has a history of cheating on husbands herself. Let she who is without fault cast the first stone. Damn, for all the more time Jen spends in church, she has never actually learned much. Oh who am I kidding? She does the church stroll for the paps and press and probably plays on her phone the entire time.
@Learning My post was specifically in reference to yours, which was about women degrading each other. Do you really not see the hypocritical nature of your thinking? Jen Garner has never been honest about anything pertaining to Ben Affleck. It’s been lies and phoniness since they got together, pretending that everything was great at home. Pretending that they were both single when they first started fucking. Now that they’ve split she wants to be “honest”? This makes her a manipulative, self-obsessed liar. She doesn’t get points for this.
I don’t think it’s hypocritical at all.
She covered up for him in the past because he was her husband/father of the kids. I don’t know what psychological stuff was in her head that caused her to stay so long, but I’ve had friends of addicts who were so messed up and emotionally manipulated by their spouse, I know it can happen to even strong people.
Now, they aren’t married any longer and it isn’t her responsibility to cover for him any more. I don’t believe she will intentionally dump stuff, but she won’t cover his lies.
I also think that what he did (bringing his old mistress out as fresh girlfriend, when that particular side piece was so devastating to Jen) was atrocious and was deserving of being called out. I would applaud any of my friends (referenced above) who did the same. It’s reclaiming their right to the truth of what was going on and no longer being the victim of those circumstances. No longer being the “doormat.”
He is still the father of her kids. They will undoubtedly be negatively affected by all of this trashy tabloid drama.
Mass genocide is atrocious. Rape and torture are atrocious. Ben Affleck debuting a mistress as the new girlfriend and lying about it is nothing, especially for him. But you seem to be taking all of this really hard. I wonder what is going on in your personal life that is causing this reaction?
Actually, it’s the bigger picture of how women are treated that has me so reactive to this. I don’t know, nor really care, about any of the people in this situation. I don’t watch TV and very few movies, so….
I just see such a pervasive (sometimes subtle and sometimes not) attitude that men, though they are called bad boys, are still given excuse after excuse for their behavior. People post things like “What Ben did was wrong, but Jennifer…” It’s the “but Jennifer” that gets me. It reflects that Ben is excused because Jennifer is somehow responsible, and/or worse.
But a woman who stands up and says no more, and tells the ugly truth, gets called bitter or a liar. So much has been coming up in the press about the horrible attitudes especially in Hollywood, and how women are looked down on and men are lauded no matter how they treat women. My sense of justice is stirred. I also feel strongly about sex trafficking and child abuse, so I’m not limiting it here, or even in Hollywood.
I think it’s just that this scenario so resembles attitudes in general toward women that it gets my goat.
Dude. One person does not shoulder 100% of the blame when a marriage fails. What you refuse to acknowledge is Jennifer Garner’s role in that. I think you need to talk to a professional about this rage that you have. You seem absolutely hysterical at this point.
Alma, yes, sometimes they do.
Cheating, abuse, criminal behaviour. The person responsible shoulders ALL the blame because they committed the violation.
@GR, @A, @Alma: Pointless to even argue with these people. They will never see Garner as the hypocrite that she always has been. She was once a married woman, screwing around on her first husband. She was with someone else when she started up with Ben. She got Ben through cheating and that’s how she lost him, too. She had a load of bad karma that was headed her way and she’s adding even more to it now.
But this truth being exposed of Affleck isn’t karma?
The truth being exposed about his new girlfriend isn’t karma?
Why is Jen the only one that deserves this karma of which you speak?
It’s the agenda against, in this specific situation, the wronged wife that I address, not even the specific people or the years of whatever in the past.
I see this injustice against women all the time and it is wrong. Different standards apply. If she had spilled the stuff in the early stages, or years ago, she would have still been called bitter. Instead, she played nice and didn’t spill the beans and was called a doormat. When wronged women speak up, they are called bitter, because it deflects the bad behavior of her “victim” and that shouldn’t be ok. That’s why so many do NOT speak when they should!!!!!
Ben treated her horribly. She took it (she probably has many regrets about that now). But, he crossed a line by presenting his long-time mistress as his fresh relationship and she called him out. That’s fair and just.
What ridiculous, nonsensical, melodramatic drivel.
I really dislike Jen Garner and find her rather pathetic but nothing she ever did can be compared to Ben Affleck’s deeds. The NANNY. He is the worst, just the worst.
Interesting response. Very telling.
@Learning…I don’t owe any woman support just for being a woman. We are beyond the 60s feminism now. Part of being an advocate for women is also calling a woman out when she hiding behind motherhood and behaving poorly. Going to the tabloids to tell on Ben is immature and to talk trash about Lindsay is pathetic. She is no better than those women who try to kick the other woman’s ass because she is messing her boyfriend. Who is regressive in this? The woman blaming the other woman for her failed relationship or the woman who realizes it is a waste time and moves on with her life. Ben checked out years ago. He is what he is. She has known what he is. At what point is it on her for being angry that he is being who he has always been?
It didn’t occur to her during one of her pack up the kids and arrive on the set to keep him in line surprises that something is broken? I highly doubt that was fun for the kids. They aren’t shields.
I am in a very complicated situation with an ex who refuses to accept I really do want to move on. He refuses to divorce. He frustrates me but my children adore him and love being with him. He is a controlling pain in my butt but I had to stop letting my feeling show. Even when he comes over and invades my space I have to swallow it and find another time to confront him. I am ashamed that I used to lose control and screamed at him in front of them. My best friend basically told me off and shook me out of my self absorbed stupor. I am ashamed that I allowed my feelings to be more important than theirs. I have a sweet little sensitive Mama’s boy who started worrying about me in his little boy way. He was becoming anxious and clingy. My fearless daughter started rejecting her father because she thought she was making me happy. I am ashamed and I should be. They weren’t ready for him to be absent so much and I had to see that he loves them too and it is better for them to have as much access to him as they want. I am a big girl and I can handle it. I chose to bring them into this world and that choice means I can’t indulge in my feelings all of the time.
Our reactions aren’t about excusing Ben, they are about her refusal to stop dragging them through this and being indiscreet. They don’t deserve anymore of their melodramatics. She is keeping this going because if she doesn’t then the connection is truly broken in her mind even though he cut that cord long ago.
One of the reasons this is on her is because he left and painting a PR lie is part of their jobs. She knows it. Every time she tries to have a Go Girl moment and have her side of things aired out in public, I shake my head at how pathetic it is.
@magnoliarose, I agree that gender-based support should not be given blindly. I hope I don’t come across that way. I was addressing the misogynic attacks on her, which have the effect of excusing HIS behavior, and condemning her for exposing a very hurtful lie (per articles, at least).
I agree that around the kids, they should be kind, courteous and generous. I was also part of yelling fights with my ex when my kids were little, and I had to apologize to him and them for letting that happen. We get along fine now and have for years. I do keep interaction very superficial, though, because he will still try to stir something up if he gets an opening. My kids are grown now and we’ve talked about it openly and they get it.
As to Affleck/Garner, I don’t think the back and forth tidbits during the last two years were healthy for either of them. They are indicative that they have not reached a place of being able to be kind to each other outside of being around the kids. Hopefully, they will one day be genuinely fine with each other.
I just cannot blame her for wanting to set this particular record straight, though. This is a very personal, very specific lie that came from a huge wounding. In exposing the lie, I don’t think she talked trash about anyone. The facts of what transpired are what they are (facts as represented by the tabloid, and they do cite to 2013 records of their own, so it’s not just her). She didn’t even talk trash about Ben. The “facts” did that. When you lie, you stand the risk of someone exposing that.
She is human, like the rest of us. I cannot imagine how painful it was to see what they put out there, knowing what she knew. As an empathetic human being, I’m going to support her right to speak her truth. Not to trash anyone (which I don’t think she did), but to speak the truth of the matter.
There is sooooo much out there that the kids are going to have to process. I think the benefit to her of being able to speak her truth and let it go is greater. That is just my opinion, and we each have different ones.
The passion reflected in my comments here has been the hate against her for standing up for herself, after years of letting things go unspoken. I don’t believe she will be unleashing ugly stories just for the sake of trashing him. I don’t think that was her purpose here, even. There may never be an instance where she feels the need to defend anything. But she needs to have the freedom to do that if she feels it necessary. Anyone should have that freedom.
@magnoliarose, I do hope that Jennifer sees that her best “revenge” is to have emotionally healthy children. Ben is proven to self-destruct and there’s a chance he won’t need any help in going forward with that.
All of this is making Jennifer Garner look extremely vindictive and petty and obsessed with Ben. She should find a better use of her time than scheming and plotting with the tabloids. He’s over you, honey. He’s just NOT that into you. Find someone else. Get a hobby. Get a job. Give the nanny army a day off and take care of the kids yourself. Whoever said she was the new Betty Broderick was RIGHT.
It’s actually really sad how much society rewards this kind of clinging. They’ve been officially separated for over a year and he’s publicly cheated and likely never was faithful but we are supposed to admire her for what exactly??? It’s not her fault that Ben is a pig but she’s no hero for holding on for dear life to a man that clearly has no respect for her. Some women stay in this mode for years because for whatever reason we love to reward this kind of victimhood. It’s not admirable or good for the kids to stay with womanizing douchebags.
I don’t think anyone is saying she should be admired.
People probably just find her less annoying than him. I mean, he is kind of an odd guy, no matter how handsome.
I hope Jennifer Garner can somehow manage to be happy some day. She doesn’t seem to be. The smiles seem to be for the paps only. Behind the scenes it seems like it’s a very sad, pitiful story. She still wants Ben and if she can’t have him, scorched Earth. Well, I don’t think that’s a healthy way to live or move on. I’m not really sure who would want to get involved with her after all of this. Best of luck to her in finding a new partner.
If everyone thinks Jennifer Garner is kind of dumb for marrying Ben Affleck, then shouldn’t this new lady he’s with be seen as the dumbest woman who ever existed? His history now is way worse than it was when Garner got with him. All I remember about Affleck, when he was with Garner, is that he had previously dated Gwyneth and J-Lo. But NOW I know about the nanny…
For every guy like him there are a dozen women who think that they can fix/save him. It’s hardly unusual.
Can everyone be equally dumb? There is no winner here. All are massively screwed up and unhealthy people. Affleck is no prize to wait for or win and those women are nuts if either one thinks the other was the problem.
I really hope she’ll spill the beans.. all of them!
I agree! Spill Jenny, spiiillll!!!
I think a HUGE reason Garner clings is because if she lets go, she will have to grow up and basically stand on her own two feet completely, not just ‘be’ and exist passively. Once the divorce is final, she will no longer be able to market herself as a simple country housewife and she’s going to be expected to grow up in a way that she might have been avoiding. That must scare her for some reason and I am certain that bashing him in the press is her way of throwing a tantrum along the lines of “how DARE you make me grow up all the time instead of taking care of me and letting me be the ‘little woman’ and move on with someone who has a career.” He isn’t adhering to the ‘story of redemption’ fairy-tale and instead this is an ugly reality that she’s being forced to face.
@corporatestepsister I know I’m quoting but..What ridiculous, nonsensical, melodramatic drivel. Bashing him in the press? That she has never done and I assume that is what has made a bunch of you mad as rabid dogs at Garner for being a “doormat”. You mean telling the truth of how he began with his “new girlfriend”? I would think you folks of all people would be glad she’s not keeping his truths secret and letting him get away with his lies of his new “fairy-tale” romance. But maybe she didn’t say anything first, PEOPLE had the goods on him and Shooksus since 2013 and were sitting on it. It would take just a little digging from friends and employees of the two to get the quotes. Maybe they were sick of him being a pig and getting away with it. Maybe it was her who is sick of his lies but This is all on him. She didn’t make him an addict that couldn’t file for divorce or move out on his own for two years. He did that.
+1 Lisa
What’s funny is that Garner screwed around on husbands and boyfriends herself once upon a time. She wasn’t single when she got together with Ben. She’s no better than Shookus. Who is she to point fingers at guilty parties? What goes around comes around, and how you get them is how you’ll lose them, etc.
Lainey just posted an excellent analysis on why the rollout of this new girlfriend has turned into such a hot mess. She gives garner a lot of media power in it.
I don’t know that she went to the tabloids, as much as they have had these stories for years and have been sitting on them. Maybe they held back out of respect for their relationship with garner and now it’s just a matter of that she’s not protecting Ben anymore.
100++++percent. As Lainey pointed out people went back in their files and found the quote they got at the time of the Heat afterparty in 2013 from a party goer. So the tabloids are going back in their files. It is not necessarily Jen leaking the info. It may be the tabloid digging up through their investigating. You know no matter who it was that he started dating the tabloids were going to jump right in and try to dig up dirt on whoever it was. So as soon as LIndsey was identified they went to work. Also no Gossip Cop refuting the claims, if they do watch for careful wording as they could craft it to constue that this is new relationship leaving out that it is new in the fact that it is back on after being off for a period, because I believe they have been off and on for the last 3-4 years. This attempt of their on going relationship is a new start.
I wonder about Lindsay. What is her relationship with Ben really. Here is a guy who is an alcoholic (hopefully recovering), and by many accounts a drug addict, gambling addict and serial cheater. Where does she think this is going to wind up? Was she supportive of him going to rehab? OR Is she just falling for his supposed charm? ( or should I say fallen since by all accounts this is going on for years)
I wondered about her refuting the other People story. My first thought was of her flexing her media muscles. She is ranked very high in public trust…the public that reads people at least. It’s one of the reasons she has good endorsement deals. I read that somewhere. I think People might have seen a real reaction to what she did and that does give her a bit of power when she does have something to say. I’m not saying she has large power in Hollywood, but in these publications and their readership, I think she does.
It’s one of the reasons pictures of her draw clicks when she is doing relatively small movies.
All the Jen bashing here has me thinking this is Ben’s PR agenda trolling. Deflection is the name of the game. Interesting tactic, though not new…. It really does leave a bad taste, though.
Jen is not faultless, but neither is Ben or Lindsey. They lied, she called them out on that lie.
It doesn’t have to be one or the other being right or wrong. If she lies, isn’t he free to call her out on it? Isn’t that how justice and fairness works?
UPDATE: Jenfan, you have a point. We all assume it was Garner giving them something. Maybe it was just Garner removing the protection and allowing them to use what they already had. The stories from US and People do say multiple sources.
I think all three of them are lying, cheating assholes but Garner is a better person because she stopped this nonsense once she had kids.
What leaves me a bad taste is some tabloids’ insistence we should throw a pity party to America’s favorite doormat because she got cheated on by a man whose raison d’etre is cheating. They certainly never were that sympathetic to J-Lo for some reason.
And I can’t help but snicker when I see the mess the Garner-Affleck are in because I’m old enough to remember Ben &co’s pr campaign to convince everyone that the real problem was J-Lo’s drama queen antics and that once he settled down with a nice, wholesome (white) chick, everything would be fine.
Well, everything is not fine and the wholesome chick is not that wholesome.
I’ve always disliked Ben because of what he did to Jlo. The guy is scum.
Diversity of thought does NOT equal trolling. You have been losing your mind all through this post. STOP. And stop accusing people of being part of one person’s PR team or the other. Grow up. You’re the one who sounds like you’re on someone’s payroll.
Not trolling, just responding as in a discussion. I’m done now.
A lot of new posters are saying the exact same thing. “How you get them is how you lose them,” “she’s a cheater too, blah, blah.” It reminds me of the election and the “they’re both exactly the same,” brigade. No.
Anyway, you’re not the only one whose been seeing the exact same attacks as strange, as they’re basically blaming Jen for Ben’s actions. It’s weird, “I know Ben is a pig but here’s why it’s all Jen’s fault.” It’s annoying.
Good for her. I was in a relationship with a similar douche, he’s my little boy’s father. And I’ve learned over the years to protect my boy while firing the warning shots. Not easy. There’s stuff no one would believe because he can act charming af. My dad was on to him from the get-go though … of course I don’t use People. I’m a civilian lol
Somebody had brought up on another Celebitchy blog (there ate so many) that they wondered if Lindsay’s daughter is Ben’s? I wonder when the tabloids will jump on that?!
There are a lot of conflicting dates out there. Some say he met her as early as 2013.
Her daughter is 4.
That’s one of the first thing I thought of when I saw the conflicting dates. Also, if Ben was getting as many as what we suspected on the side, it’s unlikely he would not have gotten someone pregnant at some point. I just really hope that’s not the case here, that would add another layer of eeew.
I would feel so bad for that child if that were true:(
Jen being passive aggressive doesn’t make her a better person. Not cheating doesn’t sanctify just being a doormat and enabler. If she keeps making snarky remarks at them or Ben as he dates others, that will make her pathetic. If not for Ben, she wouldn’t have much press and she would not really live as well as she does now. Ben is wealthier, has worked more, has more awards, and frankly she has no business mouthing off about him publicly.
He’s moved on, he had moved on a long time ago, and trying to get him back won’t work. He’s not going to come back and be the docile husband and he never did strike me as the suburban dad who would come home every night after work. He strikes me as the type who wants to live the city life, work hard, party hard, and basically chill with friends. As for a wife, he might in fact prefer someone who works at a real career and a lot of men can be status fixated snobs, just as bad as they accuse women of being.
He gave it his best shot, the kids will not starve or be ignored by him (he has to work and work long hours if he’s going to pay the upkeep on all those houses and for good schools in a good area) and I don’t believe that he’s evil just because he realized that the marriage was not working and wanted out. Clearly Jen has serious issues with it, but the reason I’m bashing her is because she has been determined to ignore the reality of the situation and cling on, making things worse.
She has no business dissing him just because he won’t participate in her mental fairy-tale where he changes into the ideal husband who brings in millions, is a HUGE star, then is around all the time she wants him to be.
@corporatestepsister Like I said: This is all on him. She didn’t make him an addict that couldn’t file for divorce or move out on his own for two years. He did that.
And she has no business dissing him? Like who are you to say what her business is. And Like I said, she has never bashed him at all- in the press at least. I thought that is what is driving you all insane. Her public shade is very subtle – too subtle for you all to even get.
Might as well give it up, Lisa. The Jen haters are on a level with the Sophie Hunter haters, always an excuse to bash a woman they don’t know over a man they’ll never know.
X17 is now claiming Ben went to Vegas on the private plane he boarded on Saturday and that he returned on Sunday
That really is very sad. Addictions are terrible and destroy so many lives.
Ben is going to end up back in rehab!
That is like leading a horse to water.
That one People article said Ben is very independent. Independent meaning Ben will do what he wants, when he wants, and who he wants! You are not going to change his mind! Lindsay will realize that too late someday.
The owner of the business where my husband used to work submitted an online dating app requesting a professional, smart, healthy, independent woman. Independent meaning he could come and go as he pleased,(which he has cheated on her with other women, prostitutes, strippers, etc.) He gives her his credit card and she can buy anything she wants. He bought her a really nice house &car.
She never knows where he is, rarely sees him, and has never met his family.
The reason I know this is she works with my sister-in-law and would tell her about him.
One day she said his name. My husband and his coworkers have seen a lot of stuff go on in that business. MY sister-in-law does not really know her well , but she has tried to tell her maybe she should move on but she continues to stay with him!
I think WB has become more aware of the severity of his issues and the $75M it cost them. I do think and this my opinion only, that they will be more conservative about what he gets from them in terms of directing at least while he is showing signs of ongoing issues. Maybe the limos are them keeping him safe while they need him as Batman.
So maybe I’m just naive (and I do think Jen is crazy media savvy), but why are we assuming these leaks are coming from her? Isn’t it possible other people have known but kept their mouths shut and now that it’s out in the open, people are blabbing?
Jen’s seemed much happier since they announced their split. She seems like a woman who finally made a tough choice and is happy with that choice. Ben’s messy enough on his own that I don’t think she needs to do anything: she can just step back and let him destroy himself.
I wonder if this is not Jen being involved but Jen being not involved.
So maybe I’m just naive (and I do think Jen is crazy media savvy), but why are we assuming these leaks are coming from her? Isn’t it possible other people have known but kept their mouths shut and now that it’s out in the open, people are blabbing?
Jen’s seemed much happier since they announced their split. She seems like a woman who finally made a tough choice and is happy with that choice. Ben’s messy enough on his own that I don’t think she needs to do anything: she can just step back and let him destroy himself.
I wonder if this is not Jen being involved but Jen being not involved.
+++++
I don’t care one bit who Affleck dates, he grosses me out at the same time managing to be dull as dishwater. I want to know who Jen is going to date next. I hope she does something entertaining, like dating Ellen, once she and Portia finally gives up on their marriage.
Saw tonight that E News is now jumping on US Weekly bandwagon in questioning how long Ben has known Lindsay. They are bringing up the source that said they saw Ben & Lindsay as earlier as 2013 at a Heat after party.
Seems they were the last to know!
Lainey speculated on that same source and said that Jen’s son Samuel would have been about 15 mos.old at that time . Nice!
I imagine Jennifer Garner will be somewhat diplomatic to protect her kids but I would love to see her sing like a canary. No way should she agree to be silent. I wish her all the best. I think she’s put up with a lot of bs with him.
I don’t necessarily fault her for staying with him and trying to make their marriage work. That’s a choice she made with her eyes wide open. She’s no dummy, maybe overly optimistic, but not dumb. I would have ended it after the first indiscretion but that’s me. To each his own. She made an investment in that relationship, has 3 kids to consider. She gave it her best and should be able to walk away with her integrity intact.
Ben Affleck, on the other hand…looks rough. I get the feeling he is on a slippery slope. I don’t think he will fare well with this. I don’t know anything about his current girlfriend but I have to question her self respect taking up with him. Could be they deserve each other. Good luck with all that.