People Magazine: Brangelina’s fine, with erotic cake play

The tabloid love affair with the Gosselins is over, and this week we’re being gifted with multiple Brangelina covers. Star is running a story about how a limo driver drove Jennifer Aniston to a secret hotel rendezvouswith Brad Pitt. In Touch is running a story about how Angelina threw a birthday hissy fit that left Brad in a huff. Now, everyone’s favorite gossip bible is swooping in to set the record straight. People Magazine has put Brangelina on the cover – for the first time since the twins were born! It’s called “Brad and Angelina Face the Rumors: The Real Story”. It might have been written by Brad and Angie. Shocking!

The gist of People’s story is that Brad and Angelina are fine. The excerpt that People put online isn’t much, though. Just some erotic birthday cake action. Apparently, Brad “took one of the little birthday cakes and smushed it into her face.” You know the icing was white, too. Sorry, do I have a dirty mind?

After months of breathless tabloid reports about Brad Pitt’s get-together with ex Jennifer Aniston, how he and Angelina Jolie have separate bedrooms – and how the pair fought constantly during the Cannes Film Festival – what is going on with Hollywood’s golden couple?

PEOPLE not only reveals the answers in its latest cover story, on sale Friday, but also finds out what fanned the gossip in the first place.

While the pair have rarely been snapped out together in recent months, there have been sightings. On June 5, PEOPLE reports, Pitt showed up on the Long Island set of Angelina’s thriller Salt for a belated celebration of Angelina’s 34th birthday one day before. Brad “took one of the little birthday cakes and smushed it into her face,” says an eyewitness. “It was really funny.”

A couple carelessly in love – or putting on a show to hide a relationship in trouble?

For the complete story – including Brad’s Mother’s Day present, the truth about whether Brad’s mom really dislikes Angelina, and the stars’ own reaction to the breakup rumors – pick up the new PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

[From People]

Remember The Great Brangelina Split of 2007? The summer Angelina worked on Wanted, every tabloid was running stories about how they were seconds away from calling it quits. At the end of the summer, The Brange went to People and got them to run a story much like this one – I remember it because Brad used his brother Doug for all of the quotes about how happy the Jolie-Pitts were. I wonder if People got the same deal this time. You’d think that if they got a quote from Doug Pitt, they would have led with it, but maybe they’re saving the good stuff for the print edition.

Thanks to Cover Awards for the People cover.

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35 Responses to “People Magazine: Brangelina’s fine, with erotic cake play”

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  1. Not Impressed says:

    people magazine has proven it’s just a mouthpiece for brangie. it’s like angelina wrote the article herself.

    it’s also great publicity for all the other magazines.

  2. Ursula says:

    For people who don’t care about what the world thinks, they have a way of showing it. Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. Isn’t this the second leak of their marital bliss to people magazine in two weeks? Their last issue had ‘Brad and Angelina: ‘what is true, what is not’. Something like that.

    I am surprised they have not given people a photo spread of the ‘happy family’. Maybe they are saving that for when the twins turn one.

    I was getting tired of them, but I don’t want to miss the winding down of Brangelina. For years I waited for Madonna and guy to split but by the time they did, they had sort of grown on me. Hopefully, Brange split when I still feel this way about them.

    Even Bennifer 1 did not annoy me this much.

  3. Rose says:

    There is something wrong with people who want families to split just so they can issue a smug ‘told you so.’ Regardless of personal feelings, they are still the parents of six young children.

  4. kap says:

    think the source will be jane pitt, why else mention whether she likes AJ or not. Said this before, but these stories (while always out there) reach crescendo levels when she’s working. why isn’t she home with the kids, they don’t need the money, etc. are never heard when Pitt s working (OK, rarely heard). Sexism much? don’t know what the future holds for these 2 but their kids are getting older and they need to attempt to control these “hit pieces” now more than in the past. Wish People would say who’s been contacting them with these break up stories, especially the back to Jen line.

  5. crab says:

    “Gifted with multiple Brangelina covers”?? Ick!!

  6. diddy says:

    people magazine is just a mouth piece of the celebrities or their publicist, they print whatever the celeb want you to know or think….

    even when other tabs print stories of trouble in other celebs relationships ‘people magazine’ would rather print the story those celebs want you to think that all is fine ; case in point people mag stories that jennifer and brad, jessica and nick, madonna and Guy , Jlo and ben were doing fine even when at that time other magazines were reporting all wasnt right.

    i dont really take people magazine has the gospel of truth either, they are as shady as the other tab only difference is that they might not print madeup stories , but they print want a celebrity want them to print even if it might not be the real truth LOL

  7. Tazina says:

    Boring and annoying…… many years do we have to listen to these stories that come to nothing. Not as bad as the continual pregnancy rumors of the various celebrities, but close.

  8. 88Modesty88 says:

    Let’s just sit back and let it happen, whatever’s IT is going to be…

    And if I have to read one more post that states “where there’s smoke there’s fire” I might hurl! 😉

  9. Beth says:

    It’s stupid to say People is Brad and Angelina’s mouthpiece. All celebrities go to People when they make a statement. Why only they get attacked doesn’t make sense. Also People hasn’t done any major stories on Brad and Angelina in months. They do just a few blurbs here and there. Nothing out of the ordinary that you couldn’t find in any other gossip magazine. I really don’t understand the bashers. They don’t deny the rumors, then they must be true. They deny the rumors, again they must be true. They can’t win no matter what they say. Breakup rumors have been following them for years. Of course they get sick of them at some point so they release a statement. Why are they getting bashed for having feelings?

  10. DD says:

    Huh, this is the second article denying a split by the same magazine in 2 weeks? How does that even make a worthy article. Only in Brangie land is a daily SPLIT and NON-SPLIT story newsworthy.

  11. wow says:

    yeah, people who hope they’ll split are just gross.

    I think the kids are finally getting old enough to catch wind of the sh*t being printed about their parents.

    How upsetting would that be, to hear your parents are splitting up? Especially by ‘adults’ who are supposed to know the truth?

    bit of damage control, I guess…

  12. Rosalee says:

    What does it matter? Let them be…I do recognize that some individuals who continue to believe that Aniston is working on destroying the Jolie/Pitt relationship and Jolie is working on destroying Aniston, Pitt is buying (?) artwork and is dumb, a moron, brilliant, talented or talentless and the sexist man alive or old and fading. But what is all is well in the world of Aniston/Pitt/Jolie. What if Aniston has moved on and the Pitt/Jolie family is actually happy? The recycling of the stories of conflict, breakups, pregnancy, late night calls and Jen and Brad reunions is getting old and cold. The only problem I have is the media elevating Jolie to Sainthood and/or articles such as the one in Harper’s Bazaar where she is the woman every woman wants to be live or sleep with. No body consulted me and frankly I would have said give me Emma Thompson any day a real woman who can make me laugh without the history or emotional baggage of Jolie.

  13. livee says:

    kap it is not so much sexist, it is just most mom’s with babies under 1 don’t want to be away from their babies, they usually take them on set, and really nurse them, not pose for photo op pics pretending to nurse. It is just motherly insinct, to bond with their infants.

    How romantic having cake shoved in your face, I am soooo jelus!

  14. Hanh says:

    Hey Livee, just because mothers want to work and not take their kids to work with them, doesn’t mean they’re bad mothers. I agree that AJ always gets knocked around by everyone when she’s working. That is sexist.

    As a working mother, I get that alot myself so I understand that there still is alot of discrimination against working mothers. And if she’s nursing, I’m sure she’s doing it in her trailer where nobody can snap a picture of her at an inopportune moment(I know I would considering the nip slips that provides!).

    I prefer to pump and then use the bottle, but that’s just my preference.

  15. Ned says:

    mothers should be able to work, but when they have a day off, if they always fly to Europe or the Middle East for a photo op (albeit an important matter) instead of nursing them, then, why did they have them in the first place?

    and there’s they other small matter of having 6 children in 4 years, and taking very demanding work schedule and has no problem sleeping in hotel rooms while nannies are really the ones to be their at night for her babies.

    Nobody forced them to have so many children and 2 babies and to work so hard and to fly to the International Criminal Court and to Cannes and to Japan to promote her previous films and the list goes on.

    Some women actually want to spend time with their babies, the rest of the children and actually want to be with them during down time.

  16. Ursula says:

    Bradangelina fans amaze me, when they hear split stories about their saints, they go all ballistic. And yet have no qualms and infact applaud Angiejo for coming between a marriage albeit one which had problems and no kids.That is double is double standards. The truth is, she hurt another person and she is going to be hurt too. What goes around comes around. Families split every day, even those with more than 6 kids. I will not apologise for waiting anxiously for the demise of Brangelina. I am going to sit back and watch with glee as they crumble. For all the years they have irritated the hell out of me and every one else, we deserve some pleasure from their demise.

  17. Rose says:

    “Nobody forced them to have so many children and 2 babies and to work so hard and to fly to the International Criminal Court and to Cannes and to Japan to promote her previous films and the list goes on.”
    Did they say someone did? They’re doing their jobs Ned, try to see past your obvious hate and recognise that people, even rich people, don’t just fold up and retire when the kids come along.

  18. cassie says:

    Angie said she stop nursing the twins at 3 months so I don’t know what baby she would be nursing last month.Brad mentioned in an interview that the kids and Angie were at the hotel in Cannes.Are you equally critical of Gwen Stefani and Gavin both going on tour at the same time or all the other celebs with small kids that are filming or touring?

  19. PJ says:

    So having cake smashed into your face is funny? Sounds hostile as hell to me. I would probably burst into tears if my spouse shoved cake into my face in front of a group of people.

  20. Annie says:

    It’s disgusting that a woman can’t work or she’s a bad mother.

    It completely reinforces the archaic notion of mothers being housewives only.

    And that is why, dear friends, women still only get paid 75 cents for every dollar a man makes when you move higher up.

  21. kelly says:

    PJ, We did it my wedding it wasn’t violent. It was more rubbing cake on my face.Different strokes for different folks,I guess.We threw pies at my cousin on her bday.

  22. irl says:

    What happened to Maddox’s first daddy, Billy Bob? why isn’t he in the picture?

  23. the original kate says:

    “erotic cake play”…that phrase just cracks me up! i am a pastry chef and one of my first jobs out of culinary school was working at an erotic bakery. i made lots of boob cakes, penis cakes and butt cakes, mostly for bachelor/bachelorette parties. it was so much fun! i miss that job.

  24. Ned says:

    Rose- her job is one thing, but in addition to her job she added many photo ops all over the world, instead of being with her children at home.

    When she has a weekend off- she should spend time with her children.

    I thought that goes without saying that the point of adopting or have biological children is that the parents aught to spend time with them, and not just pose at the birth/ adoption time for milliones from People magazines.

    She can promote the movie without such intensity, as most actors who are parents do, and she certainly doesn’t have to hop on a plane to see the International Criminal Court or a photo op in Iraq.

    It’s not her job and she doesn’t do anything beside posing to the camera in these occasions.

    A week ago or 2 weeks ago she was in 3 countries in one week. This week, she went to Washington and Brad went to Europe again.

    Who is raising the children who are supposed to be in Long Island?

    Why bother have so many children if you work 14 hours a day, and don’t even see them during the weekend?

  25. anonymous says:

    They suck.

  26. kelly says:

    Their children were with them in Cannes. Angelina didn’t work(filming a movie) from Nov 2007 until Feb 2009. I wonder what your criticism of her was during that time period.Since start filming Salt in late Feb 2009,she has taken one trip abroad visiting Hague and Cannes.I don’t know how many days she filmed in D.C. this month and I don’t know if the kids are with her. They may be since they were with them when she was filming in DC a couple of months ago. There were pics of Brad taking the girls shopping in Georgetown.So out of over 80 days of filming she has been away from her kids less than 5 .I know businesswoman who travel 10-12 days a month are they bad mothers also. Btw they are financially secure and don’t have to work.

  27. kelly says:

    Wow, all the haters are out in full force: ursula, ned, the whole crazy gang. Just waiting for a family to split up. What lovely people you must be. What fulfilling lives you must have.

    All Bragelina fans/haters are nuts. There shoud be a diagnosis for it at this point–
    “Brangelinaitis,” or the 5 yr ongoing obssession with a celeb couple that rots out brain cells, making sufferers into mindless drones who spend endless hours typing away
    love/hate rants on the internet.

  28. BlueSkies says:

    I thought it was a Carvel ice cream cake they had made. Those cakes run rather large, especially Cookie Puss and Fudgie the Whale.

  29. the original kate says:

    oh my god! cookie puss!!

  30. HashBrowns says:

    Could care less about the story except the cake smushing part. I’d beat a boyfriend/husband over the head if he put that sugary/sticky/nasty mess in my face. I’ve never understood that wedding “tradition”. It’s gross. And you’ve ruined your make-up.

    Its even worse when the man proceeds to lick the woman’s face in front of family members/friends/children. (I’m not saying Brangelina did this, I’m just saying it’s gross when people do it).

  31. Ned says:

    “I know businesswoman who travel 10-12 days a month are they bad mothers also”

    When these businesswoman go back home for the weekend or get a day off- they spend it with children.

    They don’t say- oh, I am never home and working 14 hours a day, so even when I have a couple of days off- I’ll just spend them in Europe and check out the Middle East.

    The reason these women would not bring their children to another city for a couple of weeks, would be only if the children are going to school, have regular social activities with friends, and they would not want to destabilize their lives and hurt their academic progress.

    Otherwise, I do not know a parent who would have their children raised by nannies while working in a different state.

  32. cassie says:

    Ned ,the children went to Cannes according to Brad in an interview with German media. He said when he got out of bed and came back, they had crawled in his bed .For all we know the children was with Angie in DC.So maybe they didn’t go to Hague so they were with their dad for 2 days.

  33. Serena says:

    I bought the magazine. The article really isn’t very long. All you need to read is the excerpt they put up, it doesn’t tell you much besides Brangelina is still together.

  34. Judy says:

    My mother had 12 kids and never nursed any of us and none of us nursed either. We are a tight knit family so much for all this bs babble. Some people do not want to nurse and a working mother should not be expected too. It is just lately that nursing has become another “cause” for those mothers that stay at home ,who can afford a nanny and so on. It is no ones business but AJ if she breast feeds or not or if she goes back work or when and by the way stats show that 70 percent of working mothers go back to work as soon as their paid leave is much for your self righteous crap that “most mothers stay at home because they want to be with the babies”.so what if they go back to work ?? Who are you self righteous people to tell people they must breast feed?? They must stay at home or dont love their kids? You sound like a pack of welfare mothers that get everything for nothing and dont have to work lol

  35. Where is Billy Bob?