Gwyneth Paltrow’s engagement is going exactly as she’s planned

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Like most things in her mind, Gwyneth Paltrow is winning at being engaged again – and she can prove it. Everyone is so normal, adjusted and mostly importantly – cool – in her family, that her two main guys, the former Mr. Paltrow, Chris Martin, and the soon-to-be Mr. Paltrow, Brad Falchuk, can sit at a table for an entire brunch and not come to blows. See?

Sunday brunch #modernfamily

A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on

Look at how happy they are together. Just two guys probably sharing an imported brioche and some hand-pressed coffee. And laughing at whatever particularly witty little gem Gwyneth just said. It’s all so cool and NORMAL!

The thing that actually gets me about the post, because the picture is actually a nice moment in time between two people who share a family, is the hastag – #modernfamily. I’ve seen a few acrimonious divorces, sure. But I know many more divorces, some that are decades old, in which they have always gotten on well enough to share meals and possibly holidays together. The Paltrow/Martin/Falchuks get credit for having their crap together enough to get along but Gwyneth does not get to claim she invented the modern family. Although I might let her have partial credit if she posts a similar shot with herself and Susan Falchuk (Brad’s ex). Maybe it’s too soon to be that cool.

You know what else is super modern/cool? Not caring about getting engaged. I mean, obviously the couple knew they’d eventually get hitched but, you know, whenever was fine. Interestingly, this engagement has been a year in the making but they haven’t announced it because Goop gets to first?

An insider told Us that the pair had been discussing the idea of marriage for more than a year.

“They both knew it would happen, but it wasn’t a big thing to them because they were both in long marriages before,” the insider said. “There wasn’t a rush.”
Paltrow and Falchuk, who split from his wife of 10 years in 2013, initially kept their relationship under wraps and are planning to keep their happy news to themselves for now. But the insider told Us they have already taken engagement photos and the Goop founder “is waiting to announce it on her website.”

[From Us]

I just checked the Goop website and although I don’t quite know how to navigate it properly, I can’t find any mention yet. So I guess it was leaked (with approval) but not announced. But why wait? Maybe because it’s everyone favorite time of the year – the Goop Gift Guide! Goop’s gift guide is the gift that gives to everyone. Not actual gifts because few can afford anything from it but the proverbial gift that allows you to say, “that seriously exists?!” several times in a sitting. After careful perusal, I’ve decided that my gift for all of you is going to be the Goop Dirty Talk Card Set. Just remember that every naughty phrase you read off must been done in Gwyneth’s voice for full effect. You’re welcome.

Embed from Getty Images

🎃

A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on

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Photo credit: WENN Photos, Instagram and Getty Images

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32 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow’s engagement is going exactly as she’s planned”

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  1. Liberty says:

    Um….the two men look alike….

    • Alix says:

      Don’t they?

      And why wouldn’t they get along? Chris is no doubt relieved to be eating french fries again and Brad still doesn’t know about the ritual groom cleansing he’ll have to undergo before the wedding.

    • Raina says:

      But look at the expressions; Chris looks like he’s so happy to have escaped and is getting one over on Brad and Brad looks like WTF am I getting into 😃🤣

  2. Mrs. WelenMelon says:

    #monetizedfamily

  3. Chrissy says:

    I hope that Susan Falchuk does come back with some kind of response to this. I find it ironic that the oh-so-evolved Ms. Paltrow is actually nothing more than a common homewrecker and her intended, is nothing more than a cheater. True love indeed. Shes, so “modern”. Ugh, I need some coffee.

    • Jayna says:

      Suzanne Falchuk, who was once a producer in her own right, producing the TV show What About Jim for eight years, has always refused to comment when asked about their divorce back then. Maybe she has no desire to feed into the gossip rags.

  4. Nicole says:

    Goop is so annoying but I always appreciate couples that can divorce without putting their kids through h*ll

    • Erinn says:

      Yup. She’s kind of a moron a lot of the time – but if they can legit all get along, I think that’s great. It obviously isn’t always attainable – depending on the reason for the breakup in the first place. And I laughed at their conscious uncoupling thing – but it honestly seems like that’s exactly what it was. And I think it’s kind of nice, really.

      Also his music has taken such a sucky nose-dive since their split. I’m wondering if she micromanaged the band a bit too.

    • Juliaoc says:

      Right? No shade here. The kids need for everyone to get along.

      ETA: I WANT TO SEE THE RING. Her last engagement ring was gorgeous.

    • detritus says:

      this is like the one thing I don’t hate her for. She’s really trying to create a harmonious blended family. that’s worthy of praise.

  5. SM says:

    “Although I might let her have partial credit if she posts a similar shot with herself and Susan Falchuk (Brad’s ex). Maybe it’s too soon to be that cool.” – haha. Exactly! But then, who is Brad’s ex? I am guessing not a world known rock star, so she would get no extra points for being so cool and surrounded by such cool people. She really is that shallow. And while I would be happy for someone who is willong to keep things civil and friendly after the divorce for the sake of the kids, my guess is the kods will have their portion of phychological problems because they have a narcissist, delussional, self-centered woman for a mother who is so stuck up she won’t even allow candy

  6. smcollins says:

    I think I’ve commented this before, but even though I find GP very pretentious and elitist in real life I find her very mesmerizing on screen. I can’t put my finger on it but I actually really like her as an actress (or used to since acting doesn’t seem to her thing anymore). 🤷‍♀️

    • Jayna says:

      I loved her on screen when she was young. She had something of an “it” factor on screen. Not so much much as she’s gotten older. But then I saw a movie from five years ago, an indie, with Mark Ruffalo, Thanks for Sharing, and I saw that quality again in Gwyneth on screen that I really liked.

    • Raina says:

      I actually do like a lot of her acting and she is watchable. I loved her in Sylvia. I really felt her raw emotions. Sadly it was also right after her dad passed away so I’m sure she had been going through a lot. Her mother was in the movie as well and I really do recommend it. It’s based on Sylvia Plath.

      • smcollins says:

        I’ve seen parts of Sylvia, but not the whole thing (I liked the parts I saw, though). I’ll have to check out Thanks For Sharing, mostly because I’m a sucker for MR! I loved her as Margot in The Royal Tennenbaums. One of my favorite GP roles, and a fantastic movie all around.

      • Jayna says:

        Thanks. I remember it was the first movie she did after her dad died, but never saw it. I will check it out.

    • Turtle says:

      Agreed. I’ve really liked her in almost everything she’s done onscreen. I didn’t even hate her “Glee” episodes. She’s really good in “Sliding Doors” (which is top-of-mind because I was just watching clips recently).

      • Raina says:

        I really liked Sliding Doors. I kept thinking how intersting it would be if we could all go back and see where a one second decision could lead us into an entirely separate Direction. A lot if what ifs

  7. tracking says:

    She is smug AF but, hey, I give these three credit for making it work.

  8. Zondie says:

    “..they were both in long marriages before.” Ten years is a long marriage?

  9. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    I have been accumulating pics of my ex and our family since our divorce in ’92. Who knew divorce could be amicable and socially forward-thinking way back when?

  10. crazydaisy says:

    Good for them. My ex husband refused to coparent the kids with me or even talk to me, insisting on email communication only. Naturally, this damaged our kids. Bitch away, ladies. IMHO this is positive role modeling and really nice to see.

  11. Valiantly Varnished says:

    I don’t think she is trying to claim she invented the modern family – more that she is showing that she has one. And good for her. I know people love to knock Gwyneth – and she makes it easy for them- but she and Chris deserve credit for having a healthy divorce and post-divorce relationship.

  12. Lylia says:

    No hate from me. It is nice to see how well Chris & Gwyneth are working together to still be friends and partners for their children. After reading more Ben & Jen unhealthy relationship story this morning I applaud these two.

  13. Poop says:

    This doesn’t bother me.

  14. Nev says:

    Go on you Goop. Love her. Haha

  15. raincoaster says:

    I can totally believe that’s a spontaneous candid photo of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Sunday brunch. There is no food on that table.

  16. sarah mckay says:

    sure, it is *warning, that was sarcasm* … brad made goopy wait around for ages and made her look like the desperate ho she is. now to see how long he’ll hold out on the wedding itself…. chris looks really happy though, so that my “say something nice” for today