How terrible is Dakota Johnson’s Allure cover for the February issue?

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I cannot get over how bad this Allure cover is with Dakota Johnson. I like Dakota just fine – she’s bland, but talented. She’s not my favorite but she’s far from the worst. She’s also a lot prettier than people think – she’s just had a series of terrible hairstyles and I don’t think she completely understands her style or what looks good on her figure. But it’s downright mean to do this to her on the cover of a national magazine, right? Ouch. Anyway, Dakota covers the February issue of Allure because that Fifty Shades movie is coming out. I’ve lost track – this is the third one, right? Fifty Shades Freed. It looks terrible, and I think Dakota is just going through the motions on this promotional tour.

How Fifty Shades helped mold her as an actress: “Fundamentally, I’m open and warm. At my core, I’m a bleeding heart. But when your life is exposed and when the movie that exposes your life is exposing your emotions and your body, it can be very scary. Throughout this entire experience, I’ve learned that I can expose my heart and my emotions and I can still protect myself. I can still be vulnerable and strong. It’s a constant ebb and flow and a battle and trying to figure out how to have those things coexist within me. That’s what I’m grateful for.”

Why she chooses certain projects: “I don’t know how to explain it in a way that doesn’t sound hokey, but when I’m on a project, I’m on it for a certain reason, and I’m involved with the people for a reason. It’s always some sort of weird marriage to something that’s happening in my life, or the character has some connection to something that’s going on [in my life].”

[From Allure]

Fifty Shades is fundamentally about a naive, self-absorbed dumbass falling in love with a rich, abusive narcissist with HUGE mommy issues. And Dakota relates to that, she swears. It speaks to her on a personal level. She’s dating Chris Martin now! Hahahaha.

As for how she’s grown and changed in the past few years… I see that from her too. I remember how Dakota seemed like she was always near tears a few years back, but being one half of a popular franchise has made her more confident and stronger as a person.

Embed from Getty Images

Photos courtesy of Getty, cover courtesy of Allure.

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48 Responses to “How terrible is Dakota Johnson’s Allure cover for the February issue?”

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  1. African Sun says:

    This is pretty bad for Allure – their covers are normally good.

    • crazydaisy says:

      Can someone please be more specific? What is so bad about it?

      • Aiobhan Targaryen says:

        IMO. It is lacks any sort of originality or personality.

        It is beige

      • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

        Well, to me and imo, everything is wrong. Take Dakota out and the coloring, the pattern and the props do not belong on a cover. It’s bad. Boring. Lazy. Amateur. As for Dakota. They were extremely lazy with her as well. We’re getting a close-up of almost flesh-colored granny panties. Her pose is bland as is her hair. If, IF, this is because of her movie coming out… hello… They could have popped her out of that cover. It really could have been an excellent artistic expression. Instead we have a flat photograph that takes me back to the 70s.

      • BooBooLaRue says:

        granny pants

      • carol says:

        I like it. Its like very vintage. Although, I feel the cover should be on another magazine, not Allure.

      • Milla says:

        Looks cheap, like light porn from the 70s. Her makeup is bland, not natural also not vamp or sexy. Her pose is just silly and the clothes… Well, that is freaking plastic. I don’t think editor likes Dakota at all.

      • crazydaisy says:

        I love her. I’m fine with the outfit, although it is exploitative… that’s her image right now: sex kitten. I agree, something like a deep blue velvet background might look much better than these stripes. I think the art director is going for a stylish, 1930′s-era monochrome look, but it came out rather blah.

      • Kelly says:

        I don’t think Dakota’s image is “sex kitten”. I realize she’s done a lot of nudity in the movies, but she gives off girl next door vibes to me.

    • Adele Dazeem says:

      I have been an Allure subscriber since the 1990s and I recently chose not to renew. I’m a Linda Wells fan but was willing to give the new young Nylon alum a chance. The mag is a shell of its former self, sorry to say. Photo editorials have gone down in quality, interviews, even the paper it’s printed on is cheap. Not surprised by this cover.

      • Nello says:

        Same here! Allure has been my favorite since it’s debut. The new editor is awful. Even the choice of celebrities for the cover have been juvenile (with the exception of Helen Mirren). I also did not renew and I was just getting the online version for $6.00 a year! Looking at this latest awful cover makes me happy I did. I miss Linda Wells. She was great.

      • leskat says:

        I was a subscriber for probably 10 years and gave up on it around 5 years ago. It’s a tired magazine. I was sad to let go of something I loved and looked forward to in my 20′s but the originality and fun wore off towards the end of Linda Well’s time there, too. She recycled A LOT of stories and ideas. The new editor seems to have done no better.

      • sunshine gold says:

        Agree! I’ve subscribed for decades & I won’t be renewing. The mag did need an upgrade/revamp from the same old-same old, but it has gone so far in the other direction it’s useless as a beauty guide. I don’t need to know how to dye my eyebrows rainbow colors or whatever lol.

  2. Neelyo says:

    Wow that is bad. But I have to give them credit, it takes a certain skill to make a nearly naked twenty something look matronly.

  3. KBeth says:

    She is very attractive yet always incredibly bland in every way….I don’t know why that is.

    • Shijel says:

      I don’t find her bland at all. Looks-wise I definitely think she’s attractive, and the way she carries herself too, but she’s got that chameleon look. Personality? I think she’s very intelligent but also very, very introverted. It always feels like she’s holding back in interviews, always erring on the side of caution and subsequent perceived blandness.

      Ye gods the cover though. Absolutely /everything/ is wrong with that photograph, pose, colours, props, clothes…

      • Kelly says:

        I agree. Can you imagine growing up with a troubled mother like Melanie? I remember a red carpet event where Dakota was obviously upset as Melanie faux blushed, giggled, and hid her face about not being able to see the film. I feel like it was a picture of their relationship. It was Dakota’s moment, but it was all about Melanie.

        And I imagine Don Johnson was no treat.

    • HH says:

      That’s such a good description of her. She’s one of those people that is attractive, but not memorable.

    • Katie says:

      ALWAYS

    • NayNay says:

      I agree. She looks bland. I’m still trying to understand what’s so great about her? I don’t see it and I don’t get it. She looks like an average plain Jane to me.

  4. Cara says:

    Yeah, that is so bad!! It almost feels mean it is so bad. What is with her holding that random plant? It’s all just so awkward and awful.

  5. Seraphina says:

    Looks like a bad 70s Playboy photo

  6. Marty says:

    So boring, which actually kind of makes her perfect for Chris Martin.

  7. Dr. Mrs. The Monarch says:

    Giant granny panties under a sheer or lacy dress is so lazy and tired. It is on every red carpet on c-list actresses who want a career boost. She should have paired this with a leather face mask- the perfect accessory for an embarrassingly dull “kinky” movie series.

  8. Roo says:

    I love her. She is super bland but she’s getting better as an actress and seems like a relatively normal human. I also think she’s beautiful and this cover is horrendous. From head to toe (sort of). It’s bad.

    • Shijel says:

      Ok I’m still stanning for her but I’ve seen both released Fifty Shades in the cinema. Horrible 2nd hand embarrassment, but I needed some ‘me time’ (my SO refused to come with me so it was perfect) with a whole bottle of wine in my cinema seat and honestly, I actually really enjoy watching her on the screen. Especially opposite Jamie Dornan who looks and acts like he’s got an entire cactus up his ass.

      I hope she gets great new roles far away from 50 shades of shijel’s alcoholism

  9. Ruth says:

    How does it relate to chris martin?

  10. L'etranger says:

    She looks like she really doesn’t want to have her picture taken.

  11. SM says:

    I think they were aiming to capture the essence of Fifty Shades movies. They succeeded.

  12. KBonkers says:

    She’s the human equivalent of a yawn, she is so boring and kinda depressing. Her eyebags are unfortunate as well.

    • huckle says:

      Yawn, boring and depressing can be blamed on the photog, stylist and whomever pics out cover pics for this mag. I do not see any eyebags however.

  13. Beckysuz says:

    Honestly Allure is the only magazine I’ve purchased consistently for years. In my humble opinion it’s really not as good since EIC Linda Wells left. Some months the mag is just paper thin. This cover is awful

    • Adele Dazeem says:

      Wow, didn’t see your comment until I replied upthread, but I 100 percent agree with you. Miss Linda.

  14. Nibbi says:

    is that an attempt at a seductive expression on her face? what is that?
    i do think she’s quite pretty though.

    • Adele Dazeem says:

      She is really pretty but it looks like that face my toddler daughter makes when she is straining to poo. Lol.

    • Pandy says:

      I couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be seductive or I Hate My Life. Adele Dazeem – too funny!!! And kind of appropriate.

      Honestly, if there was a way to make her any blander than she normally is … they found it! That is some seriously FUG lingerie!!

  15. Penelope says:

    The cover is awful but she looks beautiful in the second picture so there’s that.

    I’ve always liked Dakota–I think she’ll have a nice & respectable career overall once this 50 Shades nonsense is over.

  16. J.Mo says:

    “Why she chooses certain projects?” What should I have noticed she was in besides the 50 Shades movies?

  17. perplexed says:

    She kind of looks like a young Mayim Bialik on that cover.

  18. Kelly says:

    She has a lovely figure and they make it look like this? The bottom picture is very pretty, and I think the bangs look good on her.

  19. Ozogirl says:

    She’s not exactly a head turner, but that is a lazy cover all around.

  20. Harryg says:

    It’s So Bad. I like her though.

  21. Tony says:

    I’ve always fantasized about screwing my grandma so this cover of Allure is right up my alley