Selena Gomez’s mother: ‘I do not control her the way it has been portrayed’

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I keep wanting to pull for Selena Gomez. I still like her but I’m keeping a very wide berth from her as she rides out this latest go-round with Justin Bieber. Maybe he’s changed like he’s said (for the umpteenth time, I might add) but I’m going to need a lot more proof of that before I sign off on the new, improved Bieber. It looks like I am not the only one. Mandy Teefey, Selena’s mom, is also skeptical. Apparently, there’s been a rift between Selena and her mom. We know that Selena did not bring Bieber to her Thanksgiving celebration out of respect for her family’s feelings. In December, Selena and Mandy unfollowed each other on Instagram. Shortly following that, Mandy voluntarily sought medical help because of stress, but said it was not solely because of a fight with Selena over Bieber. I’m guessing Selena’s fans have been bashing Mandy because she recently told Gossip Cop that she’s not like she’s being portrayed in the media, that Selena is an adult and free to live her life as she sees fit.

Mandy Teefey tells Gossip Cop her daughter Selena Gomez is an “adult” and “can make her own choices.” Gossip Cop spoke with the “13 Reasons Why” producer in the wake of a number of untrue stories about mother and daughter in the tabloids.

Teefey confirms that she did not speak with Bieber during Gomez’s medical ordeal. In fact, she maintains they haven’t talked, even via text, in “years.” She admits she is “not happy” with the on-and-off couple’s latest reunion, but acknowledges, “Selena can live her life however she wants as long as she is happy, safe and healthy.”

As for concerns that the renewed relationship with Bieber could affect Gomez’s well-being, Teefey insists, “She is 25 years old and knows what is at stake with her health. I do not control her the way it has been portrayed.” Teefy further tells Gossip Cop point-blank, “Selena is an adult and can make her own choices.”

[From Gossip Cop]

My initial reaction is to jump firmly on the Mandy Camp bandwagon. Mandy, who miscarried a daughter in 2011, just went through almost losing Selena to Lupus related complications. And Selena’s relationship with Bieber has always been problematic. However, People pointed out that Mandy and Selena have gone through periods of not speaking before. So, it’s possible that Mandy escalates arguments just as much as Selena. Mandy did admit that she and her husband stopped managing Selena because it was, “no longer fun for any of us,” due to the only time they saw Selena, “we talked business.” I get that Mandy might be a driven stage mom and maybe she sees Bieber as a blot on Selena’s career but I think Mandy ultimately kicks back into mom mode when it comes to Selena’s health – both physical and emotional. I don’t think there is a right side or a wrong side, it’s family stuff that has been around for some time. That said, just because your child is an adult doesn’t mean you don’t worry about their choices. Something happened between Bieber and Selena to make her whole family distrust him still. I don’t think that should be quickly forgotten.

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41 Responses to “Selena Gomez’s mother: ‘I do not control her the way it has been portrayed’”

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  1. Me says:

    I think its a bit sleezy mandy is even talking to a trashy gossip blog (i mean that in the nicest way possible because i read that online tabloid).

    But again…Selena is an adult- and a pretty good way to damage her relationship with her daughter is to try and control and alienate her due to who she dates. I think her mother would be positioned to have greater influence over selena if she is open minded and accepting of Selena with Beiber. If Mandy is as unsupportive as it has been reported and is trying to use her mother/daughter relationship as leverage by shunning Selena over her boyfriend choices then you can expect Selena to shut her out because for right or wrong- Selena seems to be in love with this guy. How could a mother withdraw from her own kid based on someone their dating!!

    Is not a mothers job to police her adult daughters boyfriend. Be her mother not her keeper

    • Eleonor says:

      Well handbook abuser behavior is to isolate the victim. A lot of men menage to do that, at a certain point a mother, brothers and sisters simply sourrend themselves, because you don’t know what to do anymore.
      My sister had an abuser husband: I know it’s cruel, but at a certain point we gave up, because we couldn’t do anything, going to the police, to social services everyone kept telling us: it’her that must come here. End of ther story.
      You don’t want him for dinner, so the victim go crazy because you refuse him, and chooses him.
      When my sister decided to quit him for the sake of her children, we were there for her.
      I don’t know if this is Selena’s case, I hope not, but I can see why a mother do not want to see, or to have around someone who is bad for her daughter.

      • Me says:

        beiber may be a loser but there is no evidence about physical abuse.

        Pushing your sister away didnt sound like it did anything but alienate your sister from her own family and make her feel bad. You sound like you isolated her from her own family. Not the othwr way around.

        She didnt leave him because you stopped talking to her or made her choose between the father of her kids and your family so you trying to force her hand did nothing but cause more grief for your abused sister. She left him when she was ready and able to leave an abusive situation. Shame on you for turning your back on your own flesh and blood because you were so self-righteous

      • Luca76 says:

        I have no idea if JB is abusive but first of all there are more than one type of abuse. I recommend women especially learn about mental abuse, verbal abuse and coercive control.
        Second when a loved one gets in an abusive relationship you can as a bystander become a victim of a type of abuse by the perpetrator because all they want is to isolate the victim. It’s really really hard. Basically a no win . Either you stick it out and are seen as the jerk who’s trying to break up the couple or you let the abuser ‘win’ by isolating the victim.
        So stop with the self righteous attack on a situation you have no knowledge of. It’s great that Elenor could be there for her sister when it mattered the most.

      • gabbie says:

        @me you clearly have no idea what it’s like to watch someone you love repeatedly put themselves in danger and make bad decision after bad decision. at some point you have to distance yourself for your own mental health. don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warms, especially when you’re offering them a jacket and they refuse.

      • Me says:

        I speak from the point of view of an abused woman who was treated the same by my own family. My sister did the same thing, she thought shaming me and alienating me from family functions would make me leave my abuser. It drove me TO him more. It made my pain greater, it drove a wedge between my sister and I that I never saw coming. Ultimatums hardly ever work.

        My mother on the other hand, did not like my boyfriend/abuser and shared her opinion of him but kept communication open and never made me feel unwelcomed in her home based on who i was dating. I left and part of it was based on the support of my mother and close friend who never gave me ultimatums, not my sister who pushed me away. It damaged our relationship for a long time- how she treated me at that time in my life. On the other hand, i know that relationship with my mother and close friend transcends anyone I am in a romantic relationship with.

        Its not your job to give them a jacket to save themselves, its not your job to pick their partner but i would hope you would be there for your sister during a hard time when she needs emotional support. Life is messy and people get sick or hurt and it can be “inconvenient” to your perfect life

        Your heart seemed to be in the right place but what you did to your sister was wrong.

      • Snowflake says:

        You guys are hard on OP IMO. I wouldn’t be able to sit at the table with a loved one’s abuser and play nice. I wouldn’t have allowed him into my home either.

      • Luca76 says:

        @Me I’m sorry for what you went through but you are still being unfairly harsh. When my BFF got involved with her current BF he started by texting all of her friends raunchy graffic sexual texts in her name as a ‘joke’. He targeted me with racially coded ‘jokes’ as well as others in her circle of friends/family with whatever their prospective vulnerability was. He peppered her with compliments and isolated her in a systematic way. Whenever they had blow ups and any of us were supportive of her she became resentful and sabotaged relationships in order to keep herself in denial.
        Pretty much overnight she went from a sensible caring kind friend to a sort of Stepford ‘wife’ .
        At a certain point you do have to set boundaries. You can lovingly say I don’t accept this behavior if you need me I’m here for you but not for this.

      • Fleur says:

        @me, I think it’s a difficult situation for everyone involved and I’m sorry for the pain and trauma it caused you. I don’t know your sister and what she said or your situation, so i can’t speak to it.

        @luca76, I agree with you, I can say having watched a toxic relationship play out with a friend and her own sister who married her abuser, my friend watched the toxic relationship from afar and felt like if she didn’t speak her mind, she was condoning the relationship and therefore unwillingly aiding/perpetuating a cycle of abuse. Many times those ultimatums come from love. She was the only one in the family willing to call him out as an abuser, and she was the one her sister felt like she could turn to when leaving the toxic relationship because she was the only one who’d offered plain truth the whole way through (in a loving way). Many times it wasn’t what the sister wanted to hear and it did cause a rift, but ultimately it helped the sister see the guy’s behavior was abusive and unacceptable.

  2. Annabelle Bronstein says:

    Oh, Selena. We all know this isn’t going to end well. Listen to your mama, moms are usually right.

    • Me says:

      Selena is an adult and has a right to love who she wants.

      For her mother to use her love and emotional support as a weapon against selena to make selena cave to her wishes is sickening

    • elimaeby says:

      “Moms are usually right”? My mother had Borderline Personality Disorder and hated anyone that she saw that had any influence over me that wasn’t her. So, basically, and friend or S.O. I ever had. I wasn’t able to manage a steady, happy relationship until after her death and years of therapy. We can’t generalize that “mama knows best” in every scenario.

  3. Margo S. says:

    I’m sorry, but I’m not a fan of any mother who thinks putting their child to work is a good idea. Selena has been acting since she was a little girl, starting out in Barney. I don’t care if your 5 year old says the want to be an actor. They are children.

    I know why Gomez and beiber keep running back to each other. They both have had very similar upbringings with moms who pushed them to fame. Makes sense.

    • Brea says:

      I totally agree, I have always side-eyed stage parents, especially as we increasingly get confirmation that Hollywood is a terrible enviroment.

    • Chingona says:

      Thank you! No child should be working at such an early age. How many child stars have become addicts or are dead because of sexual abuse. Also having children be subjected to rejection and such high stress environments is not healthy for them. Then they become the primary breadwinner for their families.

      • NewKay says:

        Agree 100% with those calling out parents who put their children in acting/modelling. I don’t get it. At that age – a- it’s the parents who want it as much as they try and convince you otherwise and b. Knowing what we know about hollywood(and what we knew BEFORE- because this info was out there) why would you do that to your child. Why?

    • Nicole says:

      Yea and JB has two parents he’s been supporting. Neither seems to have stellar parents

      • African Sun says:

        To be fair, JB’s mother seems to really love him and want the best for her. And when they took some time apart is when he went off the rails.

        I wonder where Sel’s dad is in this.

  4. Shannon says:

    Yeah. I feel Selena’s pain on this one. I wonder if it’s a daughter thing? I’ve got two sons, and while I love them dearly, the older one is in college and I rarely have gotten personally invested in the ins and outs, ons and offs about his romantic relationships outside of talking to him when he needs an ear. My mom, on the other hand, OMG let a boyfriend upset me once, and he’s like dead to her for at least months. She once stopped talking to me because I got back together with my estranged husband. Maybe, to a certain extent, mothers see themselves in daughters in daughters more (like, oh, a younger me who will avoid any and all mistakes I made with my guidance)? Hopefully Beebs has changed for real and will be able to show that to Selena’s family. If not, this could get messy fast.

  5. Ayra. says:

    I’ve been reading on Twitter that Mandy was a stage mom, so who knows?
    No matter the situation, she shouldn’t have gone to the tabloids.

    • Tryannosarahs says:

      Agreed re. the tabloids.

      My grandmother used to say something like “We don’t hang out dirty laundry out for the neighbors to see” (which has its own loaded and often negative baggage in my family, but I digress).

      I think that pretty much covers how I feel about going to the tabeloids. Family drama, like bull$hit bickering and quarrelling, is not something you go to gossip sites about. She should know that as a former manager, and that alone makes me throw a bit of shade.

    • Carrie1 says:

      Agree. Mom is no winner. I feel for Selena. If you can’t trust your family, that’s a nightmare to be put into and this one is on her Mom. Stupid stupid move by Mandy.

  6. Erinn says:

    I don’t know, man. She’s not her manager because it “wasn’t fun for any of them anymore” – which I read as “I couldn’t just tell my child to do what I wanted her to do anymore without an argument”. I’m going to guess this lady is a stubborn person with controlling tendencies. If I were Selena I’d be pretty pissed off that my mother is talking about my relationship to the press – I don’t care who you are, if you respect your child you don’t sell them out for soundbites/interviews. But I’m not sure how much we can expect from a parent who keeps their kid working from 5 onwards.

    “Selena can live her life however she wants as long as she is happy, safe and healthy.” I get that you’re always going to be your mothers child. I know that a mother (and hopefully fathers too) will always worry about their kids no matter how old they are. But at some point you have to recognize that you no longer have a final say in what your kid is doing. And the way that’s phrased comes off as “I’m going to intervene if I don’t feel like you’re living your life as I see fit”. When it comes to literal health crisis – I get that. Sometimes interventions can be needed. But this isn’t some kid who can’t afford to go to the hospital, or who is basically being held hostage by that shitty of a boyfriend. If you don’t like who your child is dating – it can suck. But constantly talking shit about them isn’t going to win you favors when your kid ends up needing someone to talk to. Nobody wants to go back to a parent who immediately pulls the ‘I told you so’ kind of card.

    • Deets says:

      Yup. My assessment as well. She sounds controlling.
      The long periods of not talking, and the social media unfollowing, the need to correct the record, that all screams drama to me, and not all from Selena.

      • Carrie1 says:

        Exactly. Read her statement again. “As long as she’s healthy”. Part of life is making stupid choices when young so you learn and don’t make stupid choices as an adult. Mandy is in the wrong here and wayyyyyy controlling.

  7. Me says:

    Both mothers seem more alike than different. I agree.

  8. MJC says:

    Interesting comment on the manager split reason; I’d read a few places where Selena initiated the split with her parents on that.

  9. Moe says:

    I’m probably the only one here who thinks that Selena used Bieber to avoid headlines that she got dumped by that Weekend dude which i think was just a publicity romance she was trying to push but just didn’t work. People didn’t really care who dumped who because she was back with Bieber. The photo ops she had with Bieber a few weeks after her breakup with the other dude was all over.

  10. Talie says:

    Her mom also just threw her under the bus on Instagram about working with Woody Allen…it’s spreading around Twitter now.

    • KBB says:

      Lol I just saw that. That’s some passive aggressive shadiness. I initially was surprised everyone was ragging on her mom, but she’s like going out of her way to clear her name (or whatever she’s trying to do) even if it means throwing Selena under the bus. My mom would take the criticism if it meant I was spared.

      Her mom was a teen mom, right? Maybe the mother/daughter relationship is affected when you’re essentially growing up at the same time. My grandmother was a teen mom and this sounds like something she would do. She was never a mama bear, just judgmental and somewhat competitive with my mom.

    • Otaku Fairy says:

      Honestly, It’s probably for the best that her mom DID put out a statement like this- for both their sakes. In this awful, misogynistic culture, both a Hollywood starlet and her mother are easy targets for some of the worst false allegations possible. There are certain things male celebrities and their fathers don’t have to worry about as much, no matter who the male celebrity has accepted work with.

      I do wish Selena had listened to her mom though.
      Here’s one of the links to her mom answering the Woody Allen question:

    • holly hobby says:

      Well she gave an interview about this on US Weekly too. Quite frankly, I would not have allowed my daughter to work for that pervert. It’s not really that prestigious.

  11. SammySushi says:

    Moms: ‘I am NOT controlling her the way you think I am (and I wish I could). If I was, she’d be SOBER.’

  12. Really says:

    The mom needs to stop talking to the press and resolve the problem privately.

  13. Nicole says:

    Wrong move #1 was running your mouth to the press. Again selena is an adult and will make her own decisions. But mandy has been rumored to be a stage mom for ages and blames JB for some rumored self-inflicted issues her daughter has.
    I don’t root for Selena. Her ride or die for taylor and missteps on jumping into those feuds was enough to cancel her.

  14. African Sun says:

    This will only drive Sel into Justin’s arms even more.

  15. BJ says:

    I believe Justin and Selena’s relationship is toxic.There is a reason why they have been on and off multiple times.Hopefully this relationship won’t affect her health.

    • april says:

      You’re right. It is toxic. One of Selena’s male relatives said that Selena’s relationship with Justin was what caused her to check in for depression treatment. He also said that Justin was vile.

  16. Bebe says:

    Her mom is likely exploitive and checking herself into mental hospital is over-the-top dramatic. That being said, she understands far too well that emotional stress could trigger a lupus sle flare and literally send her daughter to an early grave. The transplant bought her some time, but odds aren’t in her favor long term. Her mom has every right to be devastated the situation.

  17. Falum says:

    Hmm well Taylor Swift is her best friend and they genuinely seem close and she gagged when Selena kissed Bieber backstage that time lol. I think if your mom and bff do not like your bf and its publicly known he is sketchy then ……

    Mayve he has matured and xan gain back their trust. I just hope her health doesnt suffer.