Drew Barrymore tone-polices Me Too women: They shouldn’t have a ‘tone of anger’

Drew Barrymore during an appearance on CBS' 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.'

It’s been a while since I’ve covered Drew Barrymore. Truly, it’s been a while since I’ve even thought about Drew. CB covered that dumb story last November, where Drew was asked about the #MeToo movement and whether, in all of her years in Hollywood, anyone had ever harassed or abused her. She said, “No, I was scrappy! Nobody messed with me!” Because men don’t harass or abuse or assault or rape scrappy women, right? If only all of thousands of women who get abused and harassed every year were just scrappy, then nothing would happen to them.

Well, Drew is back and she’s promoting the Santa Clarita Diet, her new show where she plays a flesh-eating zombie, but a light and perky zombie. Drew appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and around the 5-minute mark (please don’t watch the stuff before that because she’s just being dumb), Colbert asks her about the Me Too Movement and everything that’s happened in Hollywood:

This was her immediate reaction (I transcribed this):

“I think it’s phenomenal… and overdue and wonderful and the only thing I have a personal ‘thing’ about is tone. I don’t want anything to have a tone of anger. I know people say anger is healthy, I have a dark side that’s, you know, a huge chasm, but I’ve never been an angry person. I’ve never expected people to hand me anything and I never expected them to believe in me. I had to create enough homework and data to show proof to them. So I want, I hope that people won’t do it with anger and expectation because what you really have to do is prove that you are capable and what this time is about is those doors opening for those people.”

She is literally tone-policing women who have been abused and harassed and raped. She’s saying that they shouldn’t be angry about it. They shouldn’t be angry about their CAA agents leading them like lambs to the slaughter into Weinstein’s locked hotel room. Anger is the real enemy, not sexual predators. Not toxic masculinity. Angry women are the real problem. Drew goes on to talk about starting Flower Films and there’s more sh-t:

“We were just girls about it… we would leave no doubt or favors to be asked. And I think it’s important for women to work hard at their dreams and do it without anger. And I know this is a taboo thing to say in this time because it’s ignited by anger, so maybe there’s a healthy anger and an unhealthy anger, but I can assure you that if you have the abilities and you stay positive and you don’t expect things to be handed to you and you really work towards them, all the greatness will come.

Just work hard and be positive and everything will come up roses. If you work hard and stay positive and some douchebag assaults you and harasses you and threatens your job, it’s your fault because you weren’t scrappy enough and positive enough and you didn’t work hard enough and now you’re just bitter and angry and your dreams are over. That’s what she’s saying, right?

Drew Barrymore visits Stephen Colbert Show

Photos courtesy of CBS and WENN.

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126 Responses to “Drew Barrymore tone-polices Me Too women: They shouldn’t have a ‘tone of anger’”

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  1. Kitty says:

    So she’s not an angry person…so nobody else should be angry? She sounds ridiculous.

    • perplexed says:

      That’s what I was thinking too.

    • lilophyllo says:

      Is she even coherent? I’m having a hard time even understanding her point. In other words, yes, she’s completely ridiculous.

      • Kitten says:

        She started to veer into that trite, self-help nonsense. I love it when a person weighs in on one of the most serious social movements of our time with rambling psychobabble, while feeling entitled enough to patronizingly tone-police the victims.

        She’s annoying AF.

      • AnnaKist says:

        So she’s not angry, but she is an idiot. I wonder if she feels idiotic? She’s still a hippy-dippy, incoherent twit. Now, let’s wait for her apology…

      • Redgrl says:

        @kitten – hear hear! Well put!

      • Leppdaved says:

        lilophyllo my exact sense on her. She’s a flower child whose parents were cactus s. It’s an old saying.lol

    • willowisp says:

      If she wasn’t Hollywood royalty we never would have heard of her. She’s had everything handed to her. I get that her parents were alcoholic and dysfunctional, but join the club. She’s never ever had to worry about where her next meal is coming from.

      Of course she feels positive, she currently sits on a giant money mountain and she’s an employed actress because she chooses to work.

      I am done with hearing from people who never have to worry about the basics in life instructing others on how they can change their conditions overnight by re-calibrating the attitude.

      Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, Drew. Preferably, an actress who actually has talent and comes from nothing and is hoping the phone will ring sometime.

      • Pandy says:

        Totally. Your last name is Barrymore. That didn’t open doors for her?? Just be happy and perfect and doors will open. Shut up, Drew.

    • Lahdidahbaby says:

      Omg. Omgomgomg: She — a freaking BARRYMORE, ffs — can actually say with a straight face, “I can assure you that if you have the abilities and you stay positive and you don’t expect things to be handed to you and you really work towards them, all the greatness will come.”

      Bullshit, Drew. Bullshitbullshitbullshit! All of her other incredibly offensive nonsense aside for the moment, that is the voice of entitlement speaking! Does anyone really imagine she would have attained her level of fame and opportunity if she hadn’t been a Barrymore?!? Her talent is modest (as is her physical appeal), and her personality is cloying and cutesy.

      We would never have heard of Drew if her last name weren’t Barrymore.

      • Westie says:

        I will never look at her the same way again and I’ve always been a huge fan. She’s implying that victims and survivors are too angry and trying to get something illegitimately.

        This is really, really bad. She needs to apologize or she needs to be CANCELED.

  2. Jess says:

    Ugh. What a shame. Vulture has a great piece on Jessica Jones and its anger and talks about feminists who believe anger is necessary to make real change. And I agree with that – it’s my anger in the past year and a half that’s made me stand up for myself and other women more than I used to.

    • ElleC says:

      Yes – I’d love Drew to point me to examples of powerful oppressors being toppled by marginalized people “staying positive.” She’s speaking from a place of privilege where “if you don’t expect things to be handed to you and you really work towards them, all the greatness will come.” Of course it does, when you’re rich and white…

    • serena says:

      Yep, anger is necessary. We are floaded by upset news everyday and sometimes we become numb to them.. so yeah, I think anger is the necessary input to change and do something. Or, you know, just let your feelings out.

    • tracking says:

      Yes, love this comment! Complacency is the real enemy these days.

    • Darla says:

      I’m very angry, so this comes as a relief. lol.

      I LOVE Jessica Jones!

      Drew sounds dumb.

    • minx says:

      We’re women, we’re not supposed to show anger. Men can, but not us. I certainly hope that’s changing.

      • Blinkbanana says:

        You’ve hit the nail on the head Minx. This is internalized misogyny speaking. Women are supposed to be quiet and lovely and smiley. We’re not supposed to be angry because that’s unbecoming. Drew is SO tone deaf it’s painful. AND as has been mentioned above, she’s a recipient of nepotism and privilege. The rest of us can’t just “work hard” to get what we want. Numpty. And her Netflix show is dreadful. Incredibly unfunny.

    • Deering24 says:

      “Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.”

  3. Red says:

    I hate that she keeps repeating that these women shouldn’t expect anything handed to them. It’s like she thinks these women are doing it for attention.

    And also Drew, your entire career was handed to you, STFU.

    • Maria F. says:


    • MostlyMegan says:

      This is what stood out for me also. Like the women of Times Up want things handed to them on a platter? That is what she is saying. She needs to rethink herself.

    • Kitten says:

      I really don’t see how you could interpret her comments any other way. It wasn’t like she said it once either, she felt the need to keep hammering home the idea that women who work hard achieve greatness (as you pointed out, ironic coming from her) as if there aren’t any gender-specific obstacles we face along the way. I guess all the women who were victimized by Weinstein were just looking for the fast track to success? I mean…again, I don’t know how else to interpret what she’s saying here…

      • Sigh... says:

        “…as if there aren’t any gender-specific obstacles we face along the way…”

        AND/OR race-specific,
        AND/OR class/socio-economic-specific,

      • Kitten says:

        Yes that too. absolutely.

    • Jussayin says:

      I completely agree. Her and her business partner, Nancy seem to have had a fairly easy run of things and have been extremely lucky. I’m not saying that they haven’t worked hard but everyone’s situation is different. Hard work is not quite the same thing for everyone and there is always an element of luck involved. Right place, right time, knowing the right people. Not having terrible run-in’s with the wrong people. She doesn’t see outside of her own bubble.

  4. Neelyo says:

    Jesus, she’s still spouting that daisy and moonbeam shit? You can’t kumbaya this problem away. I feel like she’s really out of touch with any sort of everyday reality. Her story could have been so different and she was very lucky. Period.

  5. CidyKitty says:

    Every woman alive should be furious about what’s happening right now. Angry voices get heard.

    • Aenflex says:

      Anger is not a constructive or successful way to solve problems. Anger is a good fuel for change, but I believe there should be a balance between allowing anger to cause action and acting out of anger.

      • willowisp says:

        No one is saying anger should be used to solve problems. But anger as a reaction can certainly be the first important step in identifying the problem to solve. It’s valuable to get in touch with it, and invaluable to know how to manage and use it constructively. Anger does not as a rule result in destructive behaviors. Still not sure why women, especially, are discouraged from ever expressing anger. But at this point in my middle aged wisdom I don’t care because internalized it becomes depression, and that is unhealthy.

    • deets says:

      Agreed. In fact, there is a recent study out stating that moderate anger can improve results in negotiations.
      Plus to mix my metaphors and science, mild mannered women don’t often make history, and introverts often let the loud extroverts take positions of leadership because they don’t want the drama. Sometimes you need a loud b*tch to get sh*t done.

      Anger link:

    • Carrie1 says:

      Yep. Also, PTSD during all the revelations of MeToo goes some way to cause anger. Rape causes PTSD for some. As does stalking, attempted murder, gas lighting, all of it really.

      We women don’t tend to survive these things without being angry about it. Not 24/7 for all of us but I mean, if some are expressing all the anger all the time right now, I’m in their corner and have their back.

      Drew is stupid and a great advocate for Dunning Kruger effect. I had an entitled everything-handed-to-him white gay male relative pull this same b.s. on me. It immediately calmed me down to realize how stupid he was. No point even trying with those people but I also don’t have to listen to them either. Waste of time.

  6. gentleorange says:

    I highly doubt she was untouched by that industry. She was famously unattended at adult parties as a child, and drinking and taking drugs from a very early age. There is probably an amount of projection going on…

    • MousyB says:

      Thats what I’m thinking…Drew has lived quite the life before her rainbows and butterflies outlook – I think that is her way of dealing with her past. To which I say great for her if shes happy, but promoting this outlook for something so serious and important like the Me Too movement/conversation around assault in general, is extremely irresponsible

      • magnoliarose says:

        Drew’ life has been very difficult and never had any real supervision, and I am talking beyond her childhood and into her teens. But her attitude has always been like this. She was kind of like an urchin even in her early 20s, and I think she thinks her hard work is the ONLY reason she is where she is.
        SHE has to stay positive because of all the bad things she has experienced, but she doesn’t acknowledge her last name gave her leverage most women don’t have.
        This recipe has everything to do with her and nothing to do with the movement.

      • lucy2 says:

        I agree. I’ve been impressed by how well she’s done in life, considering her childhood, and I get that she needs to stay positive and try to keep everything calm.
        That’s good for her, she should do what works for her, but she is not everyone else. If you are angry, it’s ok to feel angry, and to express that. Anger is propelling a lot of this forward, and it’s necessary.

        But I will say that self care is important too, and being swallowed up by anger isn’t healthy- it’s ok to take a step back, to focus on something positive, to take a break, to get help when you need it.

      • magnoliarose says:


        She should have just focused on herself and not use her coping methods as a way to address this movement. If she were just speaking about how she approached it and how it led to her successes in another era, then there wouldn’t be any backlash.
        Women have been told too long it is wrong to be angry, so it is always a problem when someone tells us to simmer down.
        She probably doesn’t want to get down into her anger much anymore which is understandable because her rage has got to be enormous but it doesn’t pertain to metoo.

        Self care is essential just as you said. 2017 was a year brimming with anger and frustration. I really had to take the steps and make some changes because it was affecting my moods and energy. It was too much anger. It was justified, but I had to find a way to deal with it, so it stopped consuming me.

      • Lilly says:

        I was about to write something similar. Thanks. I’m certain too that there’s so much trauma there and it’s only lately that I’m realizing recovery from that is a lifetime process. Urgh. But, yes, that process can include not expecting that what works for you is for everyone and that whatever platform you have will impact others – often negatively when they’re hurting too. Think and act responsibly. But, I hope what she said may be positive for some.

      • Carrie1 says:

        She may be disassociating as coping method and not even aware of it. I don’t know.

        My energy and time is for the women, not people like Drew. If she doesn’t understand it fully she should educate herself. It’s insensitive and blindingly obtuse to comment as she has here. It’s offensive.

    • Tiffany says:

      @Mousy. Everything you said is on point. I was going to write something similar but yours is great.

    • Patty says:

      @gentleorange mousyb I don’t think Drew is projecting at all. Her feelings, beliefs, and thoughts are not some cover because she can’t deal with abuse she says has never happened to her. Maybe you’re projecting trying to excuse her actions. This could just be who she is. I believe her when she says she hasn’t been harassed, etc. we all should until there comes a time when she she herself says otherwise. We’ve got to stop trying to make excuses, cover, and rationalize when we can’t wrap our brains around why someone isn’t responding to something the way we want them or expect them to. It’s likely Drew is speaking her truth and that’s all there is to it.

      This is not probably some elaborate projection by her because she cannot deal with previous abuse, ect.

      She had all of the advantages one could have in Hollywood – but st the same time, she did manage to deal with her addictions and drug abuse. I for one think she would be perfectly capable of also dealing with and acknowledging any abuse / harassment.

      • otaku fairy says:

        Agreed. Her telling other women to not be angry or expect something handed to them is bullshit, but I believe her when she says she wasn’t sexually abused. The abuses being exposed should not be used as an excuse to insist on things like picking and choosing which women ‘must’ have been abused and which ones haven’t in a game of ‘Duck, duck, victim.’ #IBelieveHer doesn’t only work one way.

  7. Sparkly says:

    I’ve always liked Drew, but this is extremely problematic. Not cool at all, and I expected better from her.

  8. Nicole says:

    She’s sounds completely stupid. The only reason for women to let go of their anger is when it becomes unhealthy for them. But to say these women should not come in angry…no. They were assaulted and robbed of their safety, career and trust. They can be as angry as they want.

  9. Deanne says:

    She may not literally be stupid, but she sure talks like she is. She’s just reinforcing the idea that women and girls need to be “nice” at all times. Anger helps bring change and women have a lot to be angry about. She’s the Mother of two girls. What message is she giving them? Just be scrappy and nice at all times and you can avoid harassment, rape and abuse. She needs to STFU. Considering the fact she’s said that people telling her to “be present” sends her into a rage, it’s really off she thinks women who’ve suffered abuse need to keep it sweet.

    • Lirko says:

      Did she really say that? That’s quite the contradiction…even if she was half – joking…

      • Deanne says:

        Actually, she said that when people tell her to be present, she wants to punch them in the face. Celebitchy has an article about it a couple of months ago. So I was wrong. She feels like being physically violent when someone tells her to put down her phone and be present, but women should be “nice” when men harass and abuse them.

  10. minx says:

    Just stop.

  11. manda says:

    Drew Barrymore is a COMPLETE FLAKE! I don’t put any value into what that flower child hippy thinks. Isn’t it like a known thing that she has, like, no education?

    But she seems basically nice to me, she seems like someone who has gone through a lot of personal shit and hasn’t blamed that personal shit for any of her current problems (as far as I know), and she seems harmless.

    My mother loves her walmart make up line, and I came here to say that I love her hair in the first season of santa clarita diet, which I just started and which is much better than I thought it would be!

  12. BearcatLawyer says:

    I am sorry, but almost every time Drew opens her mouth she says something stupid. How dare she tell anyone how to feel? And she really is such a hypocrite. This is the same “scrappy” person who spent much of her tween/teen years self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. Sure, maybe it was due to her complicated family life, but she was deeeeeep in the Hollywood scene too so I do not totally buy her denials that nothing ever happened to her.

  13. CharlieBouquet says:

    Oh. Keep sweet right Drew? Rubbish.

  14. Talie says:

    That read like word vomit…I don’t even understand what’s saying. But I do think when people talk in circles like this, it really just comes down to them not wanting to make a definitive, supportive statement.

  15. Jussie says:

    I don’t think she’s ever really dealt with the fallout of being a child star and everything her mother put her through. She just went straight from various addictions to embodying this laidback, carefree persona.

    A lot of people who’ve ignored or pushed down their feelings are extremely uncomfortable with other people expressing negative emotions.

    • lucy2 says:

      I definitely get the impression that she feels uncomfortable when people are angry – like she’s afraid it’s going to drag her back down to a bad place. And I get that, given her history, but that’s something she should discuss with a therapist, not on TV, and she definitely shouldn’t tell others how to feel.

    • minx says:

      Yes. She probably recoils from conflict and unpleasantness, and I really understand that. She also seems to be a decent, kind person. But we don’t have time for this kind of attitude anymore.

  16. Merritt says:

    I saw this last night and it was irritating to watch.

  17. HK9 says:

    Not surprised at all. This is a woman who did a clothing line for “all women” that stops at size 12. Her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.

  18. LadyT says:

    From the headline I thought she was going to say walking around with an enormous chip on your shoulder isn’t a good idea and her quote wouldn’t be THAT bad. But no. Indefensible. She really stepped in it.

  19. greys says:

    Ughhh! Drew… please stop telling women what they should or shouldn’t feel… how they should or shouldn’t go about dealing with their own experience…. what they should or shouldn’t expect. If you don’t want to be angry, or sad, or hurt, or whatever… good for you. Your experience is not my experience. It is so frustrating. Why can’t people just police their own life?

  20. OriginalLala says:

    ugh. just stop! I have been surprised at my anger at times, but it’s also normal, healthy and necessary. The truth is, I AM ANGRY and its ok, so eff all these people who are upset about it!

  21. Ellaus says:

    Well it is easy to say : work hard and everything will come, when you are a Hollywood legacy. She was protected by her father’s prestige, so preaching this simplistic ideas is so tone deaf.
    These women have all the right to be angry a seething,… And she should be quiet and listen to them. The idea that your life, your achivements, your entire persona, can be dragged under a bus, destroyed abd abused, and your only answer should… What? Being polite? Being nice? FFS.
    I used to say that anger and screaming are your enemies in a discussion, they make your arguments seem invalid because they don’t stem from reason…. But in these last years I have really understood, that many people only respond to strenght, and being polite is not going to take you far…

    • tracking says:

      Exactly my thought, so easy for her to say work hard and great things will come with her last name. And I just can’t with the anger-policing comments.

    • Nick2 says:

      I’m not necessarily disagreeing with your statement but Drew’s dad wasn’t what one would call “prestigious”. I think you’re thinking of her grandfather.

  22. LittleWing says:

    Don’t get mad; get even.

  23. Eleonor says:

    I have the right to be not only angry, but infuriated. When I see my male colleagues salaries for exemple. When someone tells me not to be too histerycal, not to wine like a woman, I have the freaking right to be angry.

    • willowisp says:

      YES. And when I have had bad news or am having a bad day and I’m out on the street thinking about things and some guy orders me to smile for him because my existence is about making him feel good?

  24. Philo says:

    I like anger. People need to get angrier. You think anyone would still be talking about the school shooting if those kids weren’t angry? Angry and using their anger to motivate change?
    We should be angry. If you think about the stuff that happens to women in America you should be angry. If you think about what happens to women across the world- you should be incensed.

  25. SM says:

    The people that send me into a blind range now when discussing metoo movement, are the ones that choose to use their platform to raise issues and atempt to see both sides and issues. Like the ones who are afraid you won’t be able to flirt anymore. But Drew has reached the new high here: “come down women, can you just smile politely and explain in a very zen manner what is your problem?” Because this is what she is saying.
    I put Drew somewhere along the lines with Jennifer Lawrence, I believe they both sort of fail to register some things that are inappropreate or sexist or straight up abusive as such.

  26. NotSoSocialButterfly says:

    She’s an idiot who should have kept that moronic thought to herself.

  27. JennyJazzhands says:

    Girl, what? I’m going to assume that she wasn’t prepared for that question and just started rambling.

  28. tw says:

    Judgmental and dumb as bricks. Great combo. Won’t watch her show or support her in any way.

  29. littlemissnaughty says:

    The day I stop getting angry is the day I die.

    Anger drives movements. How the f*ck is anyone supposed to get motivated by “be positive and things will come to you”? No, lady. Anger is good. Anger is necessary. You can’t let it eat you and control you but you sure as F*CK should be angry about the stories women tell.

  30. Sarah says:

    I thought it was a pretty well-known fact that Jaid let a lot of unsavory things happen to Drew…maybe I’m just extrapolating from the fact that she allowed her 12 year old to party and do drugs? 🙄

    Anyway…stay sweet and scrappy, and the Universe will provide- got it! 👍😛

  31. Ann says:

    I love it when the beneficiaries of nepotism tell others how they need to work hard (like they did) to get somewhere.

  32. JustJen says:

    Considering her extensive history of drug and alcohol abuse, I fail to believe nothing ever happened to her. She just may not remember it. Oh, and she needs to shut up.

  33. serena says:

    Oh my.. another one. I don’t really understand.. What’s wrong with being angry?? You’re not out of your mind or unreasonable just because you’re angry. It’s not a matter of having a dark side, that has really nothing do to with it, it’s just that people are sick of certain situations so they get angry. And don’t even get me started about having things ‘handed to you’.. I’m angry just reading this.. so what are you gonna do about that Drew?
    So sorry if people who have had crap all their life are not responding with smiles and saccarine voices.. And by the way, you can be angry and kind, or not, or even be kind and an assh*le (like Drew).

  34. twinkle says:

    it sounds like she hasn’t thought about her own deeply ingrained misogyny. if she is upset at the ‘tone of anger’ emanating from women in the #metoo era, why not think about why that is upsetting? why are women conditioned not to be ‘angry’?? why does patriarchal society encourage angry ‘masculine’ men and meek, smiling, placid ‘feminine’ women? why should this status quo continue??
    that’s the disappointing part in all of these judgements by celebrities who place themselves as ‘other’ and ‘outside’ the #metoo movement – at the end of it all, they’re just demonstrating their autopilot beliefs by espousing their own deeply ingrained cultural ‘norms’ that haven’t necessarily kept up with the times.

  35. reverie says:

    I think she meant for their own good, don’t come at it out of anger but out of making change. For their own progress and mental health make it about opening doors and righting wrongs and setting a new precedence for how women live in the world. And I agree in the sense that a lot of that doesn’t happen if it’s just motivated by pure anger. I’ve seen it in therapy groups myself, people just spitting anger and grief for the sake of spitting. It becomes like a mantra to people, a self perpetuating story we run through our heads and let undermine our very souls. When you take that kind of trauma and approach verbalizing it as a means of making systemic changes, that does tend to happen without anger.

    On the other hand, I don’t think her two cents was needed. Philosophy has never done much for anyone when it comes to situations like this. It just makes you look cold, out of touch and stupid even if you are right.

    • equalitygadfly says:

      Gonna have to strongly disagree with you. So long as people keep falling for the “anger is toxic” mantra, the status quo will stay. And the status quo sucks.

      Get Angry, Peeps! Get angry and Act, Vote, and most importantly Keep Yelling Your Truths (especially at “sweet” tone-policers who can’t seem to locate their blind spots)!

      • reverie says:

        Case in point: Rose McGowan. Every post about her is littered with the same posters here saying the complete opposite of you. I happen to agree with Rose though and think she’s carrying this movement on her back. Is she effective with her very angry approach? That’s been hotly debated everywhere.

        Also, “angry” means different things to different people.

  36. equalitygadfly says:

    Her answer is a 3-D layer cake of shit. And right at this very moment, I hope her show falls flat on its ugly zombie face and she never works in this town again!

  37. Snowflake says:

    Watching the video, it sounds like she was saying if you present yourself properly, you won’t be asked for favors. Bullshit.

  38. LizLemonGotMarried (aka The Hufflepuff Liz Lemon) says:

    I am enraged. Sorry if you don’t like tone, Drew.
    I have worked hard. I am extremely successful. I’m a notorious raging bitch who will cut you as soon as look at you-scrappy is an understatement. Oh, and I’ve also been assaulted and harassed. I just reported a harasser to HR yesterday, not because he scares me (I’ll rip his throat out at this point in my life), but because someone else might not be “scrappy” or confident and need that corroborating story.
    In short, eff off Drew.

  39. Ally says:

    I was half-asleep listening to this last night and the ass-hattery of her statements woke me up to yell at the TV. Sorry not sorry I’m comfortable with my anger, Drew.

    Bullying male directors and producers in her industry, Weinstein first among them. have used anger and violence to control and punish people for decades, but no comment on that. Male privilege, amirite? Instead, she feels the need to police women’s emotions and reactions. Keep being docile cool girls, y’all! Astounding.

    • Aren says:

      That’s a very good point. Instead of being hurt (since she can’t get angry) about how the industry has abused women she chooses to focus on how the victims should or shouldn’t behave.

  40. ell says:

    isn’t she like, super hippy dippy? they don’t believe in anger. that said i can’t tell whether she’s speaking from a place of privilege, or whether the issues she had in her past mean she doesn’t feel she can deal with healthy anger. i feel sorry for her either way.

  41. Abby says:

    F her. I used to like her but never again. How dare she have such a shaming opinion toward survivors of SEX CRIMES. She’s a sociopath without an ounce of empathy. “Just say it nicely. Don’t hurt these poor men with privileged dicks. They don’t deserve your anger.” And rambling about not being entitled in the next breath? Literally can’t stand her.

  42. Cayy says:

    I’m not sure this is that much different than what Kristen Bell said in her monologue at the SAG Awards and no one seemed to care that she said no one should be angry. Here’s her quote. “As we march forward with active momentum and open ears, let’s make sure that we’re leading the charge with empathy and with diligence, because fear and anger never win the race.”

  43. Tania says:

    I grew up in a loving kind household where everything sports related was a free for all. I played hockey, soccer and football with my older brothers and their friends every day. When they tried not letting me play, because I’m a girl, my Dad would make them. I was the definition of spunky. I played goalie for my brothers without any gear!

    So don’t come @ me and say spunky girls don’t get abused by predators. She’s ridiculous.

  44. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Oh no no no no no. We’re not talking about job interviews or grocery prices or PTA meetings. We are fighting mad about being physically and emotionally harassed and abused for centuries. Our jobs and livelihoods and mental health have been attacked and assaulted and belittled and dismissed. Our only perceived importance and reason for existence is for cheap, immediate, gratuitous sexual satisfaction from millions of disgusting dominating men in every corner of civilization. This is NOT a tiny, insignificant movement that needs a soft whisper. We need to stand up and scream. Shout. Look at our abusers in the face and angrily proclaim, “NO MORE.” Take your daisies DB, and enjoy your success and triumphs over darkness in your own life, but never, NEVER tell women how to temper their anger, over anything really, but especially when it comes to psychological and physical torment. Shame. On. You.

    • Juls says:

      *standing ovation*
      I truly wish you could say this to her face. It needs to be said, as many times as possible, to everyone, like her, that doesn’t “get” it. She needs to step aside and shut up.

  45. Kreist says:

    I always say “do whatever that lets you sleep at night”. If she wants to be positive, smiley, tell to everyone who listen that they should work and be happy, so be it.

    If other people want to be angry, and if anger helps you, so be it.

    I just would not take anything personal. Everyone fights their battle any way they can. I personally use anger as motor to me, it makes me stand taller, but if she does by smiling, I will let her be.

  46. Ruyana says:

    Shove it, Drew. My pedophile uncle destroyed my childhood. I’ll damn well be angry if I want to.

  47. MerrymerrymonthofMay says:

    I’m starting to wonder if Drew even gets what #MeToo is about at all?

  48. NeoCleo says:

    Eat sh*t Drew, you over-privileged white woman. As one of millions of women, I’ve have had jobs offered at substantially less than my male counterparts who ALSO had no experience, passed over for promotion because I don’t have a swinging dick and been sexually harassed and my job security threatened by the boss’ son-in-law. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. KISS MY “TONE.”

  49. Tara Beth says:

    Some of us are all outta “nice”.

  50. Naddie says:

    Her statemente made even angrier.

  51. Nicegirl says:

    I had such hopes for her; like I’m Tyra Banks right now. That’s how justifiably angry I am upon hearing these kinds of comments toward abuse survivors.

    I’m so tired of people telling us not to be angry; to deliver our messages without ‘negative’ or ‘toxic’ anger. It seems the problem is not the anger itself though- it’s that we, as women, have the gall to be angry at trespasses against US.

    It’s generally more acceptable for a male survivor to be angry. As a society, we think that anger is justified. It is always seen as a violation when a man is raped. Not so for us women.

    And frankly, that sh-t pisses me the f-ck off. I’m not sorry about it, either. I’m too angry to be sorry for my delivery making someone feel uncomfortable.

  52. paranormalgirl says:

    oh screw you and the high horse you rode in on, Drew. Even your “darkness” comes from a place of privilege these days. I can be angry because I wasn’t made chief resident back in the day because I was a woman. I can be angry about the sexual abuse rampant in the system. From anger comes change. From anger comes a “never again” mentality. Anger is not an enemy. Anger is an ally. Anger is a catapult. So once again, screw you, Barrymore.

  53. Izzy says:

    Bless her heart. Isn’t she lucky to have the Barrymore name carrying her lah-di-dah through life?

  54. j says:

    Great advice! Don’t be angry about your abuse because nobody will listen. But if you’re gentler and sweeter and you don’t make anybody too defensive with your story, nobody will listen even harder!

  55. MandyPurr says:

    Drew is CANCELLED.

  56. No Doubtful says:

    She sounds silly and out of touch. I remember a few months ago she was also saying that she would never be in those situations because she was scrappy or something. Shut up Drew, you’re not helping!

  57. StormsMama says:

    I always loved her
    But this is embarrassing

    I grew up with 3 older brothers and she’s acting like the girl that pretended to be my friend to get close to my brothers. Or who would suddenly be embarrassed by something she usually loved if my bros were around.
    She has no idea what it’s like for the rest of us.
    Just bc she was scrappy and defied the odds in the 80s and 90s doesn’t mean she didn’t also benefit IMMENSELY from her name. And being in ET. And having an honorary godfather in Spielberg.
    And please- doesn’t she see that in marrying Kopelman and having babies with him- she was ensuring her children would have a proveleged and “Tony” upbringing. And his family (his father specifically) helped her launch her makeup line. So…she may have dreamed it, but she had ALOT of help from rich powerful white men.

    She truly lacks a fundamental self awareness. And it’s surprising bc she always seemed so in touch with herself. Now it is clear to me that she can be a success story within Hollywood but she is no champion for women beyond that spectrum. She has no genuine curiosity or compassion beyond her own struggles and accomplishments.

    How sad.

    • mx. says:

      Haha, my daughter has 3 older brothers (who are all super cute and charming, obviously) and I never even thought about that friend dynamic! I will definitely look out for that as she gets older.

  58. april says:

    I guess when she got up on David Letterman’s desk and flashed her boobs, that was reverse sexual misconduct. No one else has intentionally done that on a talk show. She did it of her own free will to someone who didn’t request it. Maybe she realizes that and therefore downplays the subject. If a man jokingly showed a private part to a woman tv host, he would be vilified.

    • otaku fairy says:

      If she had flashed her vagina as opposed to her nipples, I’d agree with you. But as long as males having their nipples on display is fine, calling it ‘sexual misconduct’ when a female displays them is jut sexism. I don’t remember David Letterman ever calling it sexual misconduct either.

    • Aren says:

      I suddenly now wonder what kind of ideas or experiences led her to believe that was a good way to act during a TV show.

  59. themummy says:

    If you listen to the video, she’s not talking about the Me Too movement. She’s talking about women in Hollywood, professionalism, and women becoming empowered to do all the things professionally. At NO point did she reference the Me Too movement. Her comments would not even make any sense if she had been talking about Me Too.

  60. deets says:

    Direct quote from Drew, re playing Edie Beales in Grey Garden.

    “It was nice to have something to put my darkness and my anger and my drama into. I’m not happy and smiling every second of the day, believe me.”

    No anger though, not now. Nope. Totally a healthy thing not being angry ever.

  61. MrsPanda says:

    This was really hard and infuriating to watch. I think she’s just cherry-picked a lighter aspect of Me Too (being taken seriously at work). She just wants it to be light, fluffy and pink because she’s a butterfly in human form. I really don’t think she understands Me Too and she doesn’t realise there are real victims whose lives have truly been at risk. She’s not thinking of rape victims or traumatic harassment, she’s thinking about ”Women in the workforce and how to make a great presentation!” or ”How to get that promotion!”. She clearly doesn’t understand the movement or has chosen to focus on the most superficial and digestible fluffy elements. I truly think she’s been lucky in that she hasn’t been assaulted or sexually abused. Her mum was negligent but Drew was protected by the Barrymore legacy and having a direct line to Spielberg etc. This protected her in Hollywood even as a child/addict. She also comes across incredibly stupid, it sounds cruel but perhaps drinking and drugging so young did impact on her brain development and her critical thinking abilities.

  62. Jag says:

    I need new makeup and makeup tools. Guess Flower Beauty isn’t on my list now because I won’t support someone who is telling other women that they shouldn’t be angry about what has happened to them.

  63. Kim says:

    This coming from the woman who, as a pre-pubescent girl, was handed cigarettes and alcohol and cocaine..but I’m sure, none of those drugs and alcohol came hand in hand with being sexualized at a ridiculously young age or basically being handed around amongst grown men like a blindfolded sheep. No, Drew, we’re all just as rosey cheeked and delusional as you apparently are. Nope, you were just a scrappy lil’ 12 year old, making it on your own and monsters aren’t real and the dark can’t talk.

  64. Spring says:

    Just think of all the greatness that Rosa Parks could have accomplished if she’d just stayed positive instead of getting angry about how black people were treated. Too bad she didn’t have Drew Barrymore to school her on positivity, working hard, and not expecting bus seats to be handed to her.

    I’ve always liked Barry Switzer’s comment that some people who are born on third base go through life thinking they hit a triple. That’s Barrymore right there, profoundly patronizing and lacking self-awareness. Pretty much like Ivanka, stringing words together and giving us bullshit advice on how to live our lives.

  65. Tess says:

    Is… is she high? Like seriously she sounds either high or idk Stockholmed.

  66. Laura Dawe says:

    So, according to Drew Barrymore, if a woman has been raped it is because she didn’t have the proper attitude/work ethic?

    She truly is a moron.

  67. Doc says:

    It sounds like ‘not being angry’ has worked for her so far as a coping mechanism. The anger and rage she must feel at the way dhe was treated as a child will not go away on its own and no amount of happy-chirpy will make an emotion that’s bubbling up and has been seething for years go away.
    Maybe I’m just projecting.
    Go get that therapy Drew, that’s all I’m saying.

  68. Beer&Crumpets says:

    What the actual fuck, Drew Barrymore? You should have your mouth washed out with soap after that pile of shit that fell out of it.

    Is it weird that I’m…. disappointed… in her? I never, like, looked up to her or anything, but I guess I thought she was a person. You know, capable of empathy and compassion or something. Boy is my face red!

    Also, Drew… just in case or of your assistants happens across this site and this thread and accidentally (or on purpose) happens to somehow direct your attention to it…. I have a message for you. It’s okay for you to not barf out every convoluted thought in your head. You could have and SHOULD HAVE stopped after “I think it’s phenomenal”. You’re not the hippy dippy artsy fartsy daisies and babydoll dresses arteest anymore. You’re a grown ass woman. If you can’t express yourself like one, then maybe don’t pollute the air with your brain farts. What you said was offensivevas fuck.

  69. HEAVE HO says:

    * LIKE