Victoria Beckham celebrated her 44th b-day with a watermelon shaped like a cake


Birthday eve with my babies x love u so much @davidbeckham kisses x

A post shared by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on

One of my favorite annual traditions is writing about how Victoria Beckham celebrated her birthday. Posh’s birthdays always seem pretty grim to me, food-wise. If there was ever a day to actually break your restrictive diet and eat a small slice of cake, it’s your birthday. But not Victoria. Every year, she posts photos from her birthday celebrations, and the celebrations tend to involve fruit plates, looking at a cake (one must never EAT the cake) or thinking about brownies. So how did Posh celebrate her 44th birthday? With a cake-shaped piece of watermelon. I sh-t you not:

I’m actually crying laughing. It’s so sad, it’s actually sort of funny? First of all, Posh no longer puts up the pretense of having an actual cake to merely LOOK at (one must never eat the cake). So she got a TINY piece of watermelon in the shape of a cake and she cut an absolutely tiny slice of the watermelon “cake.” And she probably didn’t even eat that.

As you can see, she also posted some lovely photos of her family on her Instagram. Which reminds me… has anything else come out about Victoria and David? Us Weekly ran that super-shady story about their marriage last week, and it felt like something big was about to come out about them.

Photos courtesy of Instagram & WENN.

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140 Responses to “Victoria Beckham celebrated her 44th b-day with a watermelon shaped like a cake”

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  1. Betsy says:

    I saw that watermelon cake! First, their chef is a gd genius. Second, I guess I never deserve to be thin because I do not have discipline such that I could forego actual cake – which I love – on my gol dang birthday.

    My son saw it and thought it was hilarious.

    • Pamela says:

      The thing is…she is tiny. She clearly REGULARLY eats in such a way that keeps her tiny.

      There is no reason why she couldn’t eat a piece of real cake on her birthday. Eat the cake, and then go back to whatever her normal diet it. Nothing would happen.

      Now, I am currently dieting. I am not thin. I am trying to get thinner. So sure, it is a bigger deal if *I* eat one piece of cake, because I am actively trying to lose. And still, if it was my birthday, you better believe I would still eat some damn cake!

      • jwoolman says:

        I would not be tempted at all by cake. It just doesn’t float my boat. But give me a birthday pizza, please! Despite the fact that I need to limit wheat, cheese, and tomato to avoid unpleasant aftereffects… I just make sure it’s really good pizza so a slice will be enough. Although I would exchange even that in a heartbeat for really good birthday watermelon. Lots of really good watermelon. Worth all the extra trips to the bathroom.

        Be aware that if you’ve been eating a lot less sugar lately, your beloved cake may not taste as good to you now. We lose our taste for excessive sugar and salt very quickly when we avoid it for a while. You may be happier with cake made with reduced taste for sugar in mind.

      • MandyMc says:

        I remember reading years ago that she has PCOS which means her body has trouble processing sugar. I know we all rag on her diet but I think she has legit health concerns precluding her from eating processed sugar.

      • Bridget says:

        Just as it’s your choice to eat the cake, it’s her choice not to.

  2. klc says:

    I don’t want to live in a world with no cake.

  3. CharlotteCharlotte says:

    Fruit is actually a naughty indulgence for Victoria though; I remember watching something about 20 years ago where she said she’s allergic to fruit and isn’t supposed to eat it, but does anyway because she loves it so much. It’s bad for her skin.

    • Betsy says:

      I always wonder when I hear rich people talk about allergies. Like actual allergies or like Gwyneth allergies. I’m still not gonna sneak it into your food or anything, but I tend not to believe people about that stuff anymore.

      • escondista says:

        *snort* Gwyneth allergies. Too real.

      • jwoolman says:

        So being rich protects against allergies. I should have chosen rich parents then.

        Why not take people at face value when they say they have allergies? Do you assume people are lying about other health issues? What kind of liars do you hang around with that you’ve become so untrusting? People may be misdiagnosed and have other underlying problems instead, but they do know their own bodies and know when they are uncomfortable or in pain and if not eating a particular food avoids that problem.

        An allergy usually isn’t the dramatic life-threatening kind and often the reactions are more or less delayed so you won’t see the effects. All sorts of reactions are possible: skin problems, headaches, dizziness, digestive yuck feelings and other GI tract lovelies, fatigue, persistent nausea, etc. I could have been arrested for driving under the influence of an egg salad sandwich, but the extreme fatigue kicks only after about an hour and I don’t keel over at the table.

        And yes, some people do get their kicks sneaking the allergenic or other objectional food into a dish to “prove” you don’t really have a problem. I am very wary of eating food prepared by others as a result. They also often have no idea how to recognize things like all the different forms of dairy. They never think about the ingredients themselves and also feel that “just a little” won’t hurt. That’s up to the eater to decide, please. My aunt was a lovely woman but could not understand that I couldn’t eat the tomato sauce after she put hamburger in it (vegetarian here). “But it’s not much meat!”

        There is a wide range of sensitivities to food. Often allergy is used to describe any adverse reaction even if people nowadays prefer to talk about varying degrees of intolerance as well as allergies. I’ll tell people I’m allergic to perfume because if I just say I have an intolerance, they will think I don’t like the way they smell. They smell fine, it’s the respiratory symptoms (coughing, congestion, lungs on fire), the difficulties thinking and focusing my eyes, and the day or two of severe headache after exposure that I’m not keen on.

        So when somebody tells you they are allergic to a food, just believe them. Just because you can’t see an immediate reaction doesn’t mean they are lying. Something about that food affects them badly and they don’t owe you an explanation for their desire to avoid pain and discomfort.

      • Wren says:

        Jwoolman, yes, thank you.

        I’m allergic to certain foods. It’s not life threatening and the symptoms range from an immediate itchy mouth reaction that will become a swollen throat if I persist in eating the food to, um, intestinal distress later on. I’m not going to die, but if I can avoid the unpleasantness, I will. It’s also not something I want to go into detail about with others. I suspect many people suffer from such allergies without being aware of it.

      • lucy2 says:

        Yeah I think this is a “Gwenyth allergy” situation.
        There’s a pretty wide range of fruits, to me that’s just an excuse.

      • imqrious2 says:

        My older nephew has a life threatening allergy to peanuts and shellfish, to the point where he *always* has to have a Epi Pen with him. This is serious business; NO ONE has the right to “test” you to see if you’re “really” allergic!

      • luxey says:

        Jwoolmen PREACH IT! I am allergic to wheat and dairy. Wheat causes painful flare ups of inflammation in my joints and rashes (I have an autoimmune disease) and dairy causes buckets of mucus in throat and lungs. I can’t tell you how f-ing sick I am of people rolling their eyes at me when I try to avoid the things that make me sick and in pain. I’m also allergic to pinapple. Not “Gwyneth allergic”, real, actual allergic. So if someone says they are allergic or sensitive to something, just let them be and don’t ridicule them for not eating something that will make them f-ing sick!

  4. Esmom says:

    Well, at least she doesn’t pretend that she eats anything and everything and stays that thin?

  5. Mimi says:

    I actually love that watermelon cake idea for a baby shower, cookout or something along those lines. For my birthday, however, I would need something involving batter and buttercream frosting.

  6. Patti Shea says:

    That looks a hell of a lot tastier than cake.
    Maybe she prefers it.

  7. Zapp Brannigan says:

    It is kind of sad to me that this is her birthday “cake”, but being honest think of the kind of world she inhabits, she is always criticized, judged and a husband that is not 100% faithful and a world that tells her she is not entitled to his fidelity because of how she presents herself. She is described as miserable or sour because she doesn’t smile on command for pap photos.
    if Posh Spice showed up in the world tomorrow as a size 14 what would the reaction to her be? It would be brutal and unrelenting. I am not going to judge her if she feels like she cannot relax for even one day.

  8. WingKingdom says:

    David’s body language in that photo is not great.

    • MostlyMegan says:

      Agreed. Normally they are all over each other in instagram photos – here it’s very stilted. She is posting all over IG about how much she loves David. And he’s like, “here’s the mother of my children”. I think he has checked out.

    • AnnaKist says:

      I was wondering what a “body language expert” would make of it. Probably the same as us – he’s leaning slightly away from her, but the left arm and leg are creating a huge barrier between them. However, she is leaning right into him, as if to say, “I still adore you”. I’m just having a laugh. I quite like her, and having seen many of her interviews, in real life, she seems self-deprecating, relaxed, funny and smiles and laughs a lot.

      • deets says:

        Ah yes, armchair expert here! I am neither accredited, nor do I have a proven track record. Let me begin.

        Look at the feet, as well. It’s said your feet point towards your desire, or less flowery, you direct them towards what you instinctively need. An escape (David), or a lover (Victoria).

        His shoulder closest to her is turned forward, and he’s not leaning against her which would soften that. He’s subtly turning his back on her.

    • Mo' Comments Mo' Problems says:

      Almost wondering if he is feeling resentful of her using a lot of their money for her brand and not making enough, hence needing a round/injection of funding.

    • G6 says:

      Yep totally checked out. He’s cheated and she’s taken him back so much he just doesn’t even pretend anymore. He’s leaving her, just a matter of when. Sad!
      Body language says get off of me, I am not attracted to you at all. And his birthday message didn’t say love, just young lady (??) and mummy (?!). Her’s was super gushy. Obviously a lot of assumptions but combined w rumors all add up to no bueno.

    • D says:

      Noticed that too! Who knows what goes on behind closed doors, but he doesn’t seem into her at all. In his bday message to her, he doesn’t sound like a loving husband. Maybe we’re so wrong… maybe they are sooooo good, they don’t need to prove it to the rest of us?
      I actually feel bad for Posh. (Which seems ridiculous!)

  9. Tiffany :) says:

    Fruit is delicious. I’m not going to shade someone because they aren’t eating cake. It’s like shaming Obama because he asked about arugula.

  10. FLORC says:

    My Bday is tomorrow and I’m continuing to not eat cake. Not because I’m avoiding the calories or ingredients. I’ve been eating clean so long the taste of the sugars is overwhelming. Fruit tastes sweet enough like rich candy. Same reaction to when you reduce salt to your diet. You need less to taste more.

    Victoria is so thin, though… it was covered her diet might only be 1000 calories a day and her morning to later afternoon intake consists of so much black coffee with some fruit. When the start of your day should be for carb loading.

    • KBB says:

      I know what you mean about sweets being too sweet when you’re not used to them, but I never thought about salt that way. I need to cut way down on salt because I end up adding it to most things. I’d love to find things too salty. I eat pickles almost every day though, so that’s probably where I’d have to start.

      You’d have to drink a lot of coffee to live on such a restricted calorie diet every day, I’d think.

  11. Kitten says:

    I guess I’ll sit in the corner with Posh because I also prefer watermelon over cake. I’ve just never really been down with cake. It might be the frosting factor or the fact that it’s often chocolate (which I hate). Cookies on the other hand, are what cake wishes it was. Cake is messy and cloying and cookies are portable and perfectly sweet. Cake is like a clunky old caravan and cookies are like a nice sports car and other analogies that show how superior cookies are to cake..

    Yeah. Cake can f*ck right the hell off.

    • susiecue says:

      I feel the same way but could never have stated it so hilariously eloquently

    • Wren says:

      You know, I used to love cake but now I don’t so much. It’s so often dry and bland and especially with “special” cakes, the frosting is granache which I find gross. It makes a pretty effect but tastes like garbage. And if it’s buttercream it’s usually waaaaaaay too sweet and my throat burns. I’ll totally go for a delicious cake with rich, not too sweet buttercream or cream cheese frosting, but I so very rarely encounter those that I’ve kind of given up. I haven’t had cake in ages and the last few times I had it was underwhelming and disappointing so now I pass. It’s unhealthy anyway and if I’m going to eat unhealthy food, it better be fucking delicious.

    • Happy21 says:

      I love fruit! I never would live in world with no fruit. Cake I can live without, no need for it here but fruit?! I’d rather shrivel up and die.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      As a child cake was THE thing, but when I worked at a grocery store when I was 14 and saw that the white frosting was Crisco mixed with powdered sugar, I never looked at it the same way again. I realized I wanted it to taste delicious because it looked delicious…but my tongue did not agree.

      I am getting giddy from this post and thinking of all of the summer fruit waiting for me! I used to get a box of organic co-op fruits and veg, but they went out of business. I’ll need to find a new dealer to get my fix. Cherries, grapes, strawberries, pluots, apricots, mangoes, watermelon…I can’t wait.

    • FLORC says:

      Kitten
      We’ve discussed diets, exercise before so I think theres taste similarities here. Not everyone feels the same about pounding 1 liters of Polar seltzer

  12. Pamsicle says:

    Honestly as someone who struggles with weight I say good for her. She’s taking control of her health and looks amazing.

  13. nikzilla says:

    I love this cake idea. I may copy it!

  14. Jess says:

    Yea, if you play photo assumption with that pic of the two of them, it looks bad. Reminds me of one of my last pics with my ex husband before I divorced him.

  15. Lightpurple says:

    That watermelon cake actually looks refreshing and delicious and would be lovely with a glass of prosecco. And for my second birthday cake, dark chocolate with raspberry filling and lots of chocolate buttercream please.

  16. AnnaKist says:

    Lately, in photos, she always looks as if she’s about to nod off. I could literally eat that entire plate of watermelon and strawberries in two minutes flat. No matter how young and beautiful you are trying to keep, what is a birthday without your own birthday cake? I can well do without gifts or even food, but I. Must. Have. Cake. Just a simple butter cake, even one with no decoration, or, even better, Madeira cake…. Come on, not even one little cupcake on one day per year? She’s demented. And what is this telling her daughter?

  17. Rhys says:

    I like cake as an idea and if I was dieting, I’d still have it to celebrate my bday. Personally, Ive found that having a few bites of something is better than eliminate the whole food group.

  18. Tiffany says:

    I really think these photos are tongue in cheeks moments. Posh has some self awareness about what people think of her and has shown to have a sense of humor.

    We only see what they want us to see.

  19. Sansa says:

    Harper is a beauty. Hope they do more for her then let her turn into a model.

  20. Dee says:

    Sadder than the “cake” picture, to me, is the picture of her and David where she is gushing love and leaning into him, and he’s just casually laying back tilting away from her. Speaks volumes.

  21. Yeahright says:

    Wasn’t there an article about a chef that hated her because David would come in and order a juicy steak and the only thing she would eat was bland steamed veggies.
    I def think she has food issues (don’t we all tbqh) but she needs to attempt a normal relationship with food for her daughter’s sake.
    That being said, I could live on strawberries so the faux cake looks delicious to me.

  22. MissMarierose says:

    That watermelon and strawberry “cake” looks delicious, tbh. If that’s what she wants to eat, I don’t see the point of shaming her about it. That doesn’t help anyone; in fact, it’s more likely to hurt.

    On a lighter note, those handmade cards are seriously adorable. So sweet.

  23. jferber says:

    I remember the gossip columnist Perez Hiilton saying he asked Victoria to eat one bite of a cookie during an interview and she refused. Damn.

  24. MoCO says:

    I don’t know which is Romeo and which is Cruz, but the one in the red jacket is suddenly a giant! Wow!

  25. Alexis says:

    I think that looks yummy!

    The body language in that photo of her and David tho…..

  26. Honey Bear says:

    Calories are calories. Eat a slice of cake and skip dinner or eating the following days. This is ridiculous. Yes, you can eat cake and pizza and burgers and be STICK thin at the same time.

  27. Anabe says:

    I love how she styles herself. Those lavender shoes!

  28. smee says:

    she couldn’t find a SEEDLESS watermelon for her “cake”? sad.

  29. HeyThere! says:

    I personally would rather have that amazing berry fruit cake than regular cake any day! I do like cake, it can often makes or breaks a wedding for me(LOL)! I don’t really watch what I eat. Never counted a calorie in my life. I just make a point to have small portions and make a point to workout. Someday it might take more than that but for now it’s working. I have way to many friends that have unhealthy relationships with food, as far as dieting and counting calories goes. I can’t imagine having to freak out over every bit I put in my mouth. Could I be healthier, sure, but they are all miserable and I don’t want that bad relationship with food. To each their own.

  30. KBB says:

    Watermelon is delicious, but I would be so pissed if I got this instead of cake on my birthday.

  31. jwoolman says:

    By the way, she cut a “tiny” piece of the watermelon cake because it was a small cake and there were a bunch of other people there who wanted a slice. Wasn’t really a tiny slice anyway. And if she gets skin reactions from fruit, not surprising if she only eats a small amount at most.

    Why do you want her to experience discomfort so badly? She’s not taking your traditional cake away at gunpoint and proposing a ban on frosting.

    And who the heck would lie about a fruit allergy/intolerance anyway? She is indeed thin, but watermelon and most other fruits wouldn’t be a big calorie contributor and so it’s very unlikely that she is worried about that. The only reasons to not gobble down the whole watermelon cake would have been if you didn’t like the taste of watermelon (I am told that such people exist) or didn’t feel good after eating it. Oh, and if you were into sharing, I suppose.

  32. Zondie says:

    When I first read the headline mentioning Victoria Beckham and watermelon shaped cake I immediately thought the cake was shaped like her huge, round and hard boobs circa 2000’s Lol

  33. Mo' Comments Mo' Problems says:

    Wish they showed more PDA! 😰 It’s been a while since we’ve seen them looking like he loves her. Not even on their pap walks are they holding hands or showing PDA. What gives?

  34. MrsClincy says:

    Ill tell you this much our daughter’s 10th birthday is Friday and I can’t wait for the cake.

  35. Jayna says:

    I live in the south, with humid, hot weather in the summer. We have a watermelon in our refrigerater more often than not when in season, as was the case when I was a child. I crave it during the hot months. My favorite dessert is ambrosia my mom’s way, cut-up apples, oranges, bananas, , grapes, cherries, with chopped pecans and shredded coconut in it and few big spoonfuls of Cool Whip on top. Yum. I’d take that over cake any day.

    I love cakes, but I don’t feel great after them. It feels like the older I get the more I don’t enjoy how I feel afterwards, even with a small slice. I still have one here or there, especially if it’s white cake with white icing and shredded coconut or yellow or white cake with chocolate frosting with chopped pecans or walnuts on it.

  36. Kathleen says:

    This whole article is so petty.

  37. Eleonor says:

    Damn Posh knows how to party.

  38. Rachel in August says:

    “Fruit has a lot of carbs!” — Charlotte York

  39. AmandaPanda says:

    I was meh on cake my whole life and then I got pregnant and since then I have been BIG on cake. 18 months of breastfeeding my son and I’m basically a cake disposal unit at this point.

    If Posh is happy with her choice then that’s all that matters. The nutritional content of what other people choose to eat and not eat is really no concern of mine.

  40. mags says:

    I’m on a diet, trying to lose ten more pounds and recently had a birthday myself. I budgeted for the calories and ate a lava cake. It was so good. I still lost weight. It isn’t necessary to avoid it altogether unless you have allergy issues. But I think she is allergic to food in general.

    Everything in moderation!

  41. Ginger says:

    David is literally blocking Victoria with his crossed legs as she leans into him. How long till the separation announcement?

  42. Big Bertha says:

    True story: a while back ago, a friend’s relative was a chef at a fancy hotel in Madrid where the Beckham’s were staying. They ordered room service. David ordered normal meals, while Victoria demanded crushed ice and frozen peas.

  43. Claire Jalfon says:

    I am sad. I knew they had issues earlier in their marriage, but comments about David on their last stories made him sound like a POS. She looks like she adores him. He was a very good footballer, but Victoria took him to the next level fame wise. He’d be hosting (if lucky) Premier League Highlights show if it wasn’t for marrying her. Love the cake, couldn’t do it myself but maybe for breakfast cake.

  44. nb says:

    I have non-diabetic hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) so I’ve had to limit sugar my entire life. I do still eat it but I have to be careful about when and how much. I do, however, LOVE fruit. Something about natural sugar is fine with my body. This ‘cake’ looks amazing to me and I would be very happy with it on my birthday. I don’t see why she gets so much crap for not wanting to eat cake or brownies. Some people, like myself, have legitimate medical conditions where cake makes us sick. I think I’ve heard that she has a medical condition too. If we want to eat fruit instead really who cares?

  45. Veronica S. says:

    I’m not a huge birthday cake person (specialty cakes, on the other hand, send my way!), but I do like watermelon and wouldn’t mind seeing that on my plate. Wouldn’t want the eating disorder she has going with it, though.

  46. Katie says:

    That family shot looks like they all bought their clothes at the local thrift shop.

  47. Victoria says:

    Maybe she’s saving her cake day for when they get a divorce? I love cake, cookies and basically sweets. I wish I had a sweet treat right now

  48. Ash says:

    I’m dating myself but does anyone remember a special years and years ago on her? It was a reality special, maybe a few episodes. I watched it and it was hilarious. She talked about all the weird stuff she did and how she acts and how it’s for the cameras and all that. It was about her finding a house in LA for the family. She had some neighbors over and they got her drunk on champagne and made dolphin noises. Why I remember this when I can’t recall why I walked into a room is beyond. But I know it was scripted and they had a plan for the show (they had a mock earthquake so they could practice 🙄) but it was truly funny. I give her a tiny break with everything she says after that. I actually also read a blind this week that she’s very protective of her image and never wants to be photographed eating. Ever. The blind also said she doesn’t like her kids to be seen eating so to counteract that David takes the kids out regularly for treats and gets papped. Who knows. I do think if that’s true it could create issues for her daughter later. My sweet girl at seven just asked me what a calorie was. Awwww! To be that innocent. I said “energy” and we moved on. I wish that innocence about food would last forever. I hate labeling food as good and bad. But I digress, I agree like without bday cake is no life at all. Words gotten out about how much I love bday cake so friends always send some home with my daughter for her mom. ❤️ That’s true love right there!

  49. teehee says:

    There is a ton of evidence out there that wheat and processed carbs, breads, cakes, starches etc are terrible for you in the highest degree. Avoiding that is not being snobby or punishing yourself, its truly doing the best thing and eating a more natural diet with more nurtition. I know a few people who do the no carbs / no starches diet and it really is the only thing that works for them, but it has to be a lifestyle.