Happy belated Mothers’ Day to anyone who celebrates that (fur, feather and scale babies included). Jessica Alba is mom to nine-year-old Honor, six-year-old Haven and four-month-old Hayes. In addition to raising her family, Jessica runs the Honest Company that sells baby products so Jessica’s whole brand is babies and mothering. I’m fine with that because I don’t find Jessica very preachy and in some cases, completely agree with her. On Saturday, Jessica posted a Mother’s Day message to her fans and customers on behalf of the company, in which she discussed missing sleep and eating and how she can’t believe that her ‘baby’ is almost 10. Her caption from the post reads:
Motherhood: it’s a doozy, isn’t it? Your world gets turned completely upside down. Everything you thought you knew about what was important is no longer. And all the things you once took for granted — like sleep, and sitting down to eat an actual meal — become the greatest luxuries. Little people change you. To love and need someone that much and have them love and need you just as much…it’s the best and hardest and most heartbreaking thing there is. I still can’t believe it, but my oldest baby is almost 10 years old. And you know what? She doesn’t need me in the same ways she once did. There goes that heartbreak again…but it’s true. The time we have with our little ones when they’re actually little is so fleeting. And it’s a reminder for me to be present and cherish every messy moment. Every tantrum, every tired cry, every bit of these days that sometimes feel like they’ll never end. Because the truth is, they will. As a first-time mother, I was still learning about this person I had become. And I felt like everything had to be just perfect. But these days, I’m ok if my baby cries a little bit…because I know he’ll be ok. And so what if the dishes pile up in the sink…and if my living room looks nothing like the Instagram post five seconds after I take the picture. It’s all ok. This Mother’s Day (and really, every day), I want to thank you for trusting us @honest to be a part of your journey. And I want to let you know that even if it doesn’t always feel like it, you’ve got this. It’s not gonna be perfect. But you’re an amazing mama. And that’s everything. xo. 😘❤️✨
The sleep thing is weird. I remember the four-month-old baby ‘no sleep’ and yes, you miss sleep like an old friend that moved away. But I’ve found plenty of stuff to lose sleep over since then and I’m starting to believe the maxim, “there’ll be time enough to sleep when you’re dead.” I also agree with her thoughts about how we change from being a first-time parent to a second or third time one – you find your groove. To all the first time and soon-to-be first-time parents out there, you’ll get it. The road will be bumpy and it’ll confuse the heck out of you but you’ll get there. Just remember that like with everything else, if it feels wrong, it probably is. So, if your baby seems more at ease with Metallica playing in the background than Mozart, let them listen to it. We trusted ourselves to live on our own, we trusted ourselves to find a life partner (or not to, if that was better for us) we need to trust ourselves as parents more.
I had the luxury of being a stay at home mother for a few years, so the sit-down meals became a part of our routine. But even that preys on my conscience at times. In order to have the family at the table and not serve fast food, I have not signed my kids up for activities that cut into homework and meal time. So now I look at my friends whose kids play soccer, baseball, gymnastics, the tuba, have learned five languages and can replace the brakes on their cars and think I’ve failed my children. But, and I swear this really happened, recently the Hecate Tribe had had a very stressful week that saw us getting dinner on the fly basically every night. When we caught a breather and finally all sat down to dinner, my son – the teenager – said, “I’ve missed this.” Again, you know what’s right for your family, stop worrying about the Joneses. Like Jessica said, “you’ve got this.”
Photo credit: WENN Photos and Instagram
Motherhood motherhood bla-bla-bla thank you for buying my products thanks to my celeb status and enviable physique.
I’m so over celebs talking about how mothering is so hard because the “living room looks nothing like the Instagram post five seconds after I take the picture. ” I mean, talk about priorities.
Edit: Hecate, you seem to be doing a fine job with your family. Kids love to see a satisfied Mum weather she thrives at work or at home.
I know what you mean, but no matter how much money you have, parenting is hard. Yes, money makes some things easier, but I don’t think your responsibility to shape and guide a developing person gets any easier.
but yes, this is her brand.
I wasn’t particularly thinking of money but of this focus on motherhood lately from the least expected sources. It’s like reading a 50’s magazine for young mothers. And on top of that to make money off of it.
Yup experience matters so much in mothering. I have a friend who just found out she is pregnant for the first time. I am ecstatic for her and showered her with congrats! Secretly I ache for her a little too because I know the highs and lows of the journey she is beginning and “it’s a doozy.”
Just saw Tully (loved it) but couldn’t have watched it a decade ago. My kids are a tween and a teen now so life is hectic but easier than in those early days. It can be so hard to have those little ones. I miss my babies but I love getting my sleep back (I love sleep) and finally getting a bit of me back (for years I was a mom and a job and that was all).
I was wondering if I should see Tully right now, or if it will just be too much like the last 10 months of life with a new baby and a 6 year old :). Maybe I should wait.
She is such a beautiful woman.
Hecate, I LOLed at your Metallica comment because when my daughter was super tiny one of the things that would calm her down was if we played Sad But True by Metallica. We thought it was hilarious!
The comment from your son is so sweet. You’re clearly doing a great job! My mom also made it a point to have family dinners at the table from scratch almost every night growing up (she worked full time). I actually called and thanked her a few months ago because I now realize how flipping hard that is to do now that I’m trying to do the same thing. Crock pot FTW 🙂
I’m sitting here taking five minutes to scarf Cheerios while my husband gives our 3 week old a bottle of pumped milk because I just need one time in 24 hours when the baby isn’t physically attached to me. (My husband is home because he took the day off to deal with a broken a/c just as temps hit 100F here this week). I got my oldest off to school at 7:30 and tried to nap when the baby napped but honestly, I can’t sleep when he’s in our room because I’m on alert for every grunt and noise, thinking he’s going to want to nurse. (He’s a big baby and has ongoing issues that have made latching hard, and that can’t be fixed, he just has to grow out of the problem around 4-6 months. So he eats inefficiently and eats a lot and it’s really exhausting for everyone).
I’m truly wondering why we decided to have a second baby. I don’t think I can hear Jessica’s message about trying to be present in the moment unless I get more than 90 minutes of broken sleep at a time. At the same time when I’m snuggling the baby and looking at his sweet face I do have this pang when I realize how fast the time has gone with my first.
So basically, it feels like motherhood is too many conflicting emotions to sort through. And Hecate, I hear you with the activities overload. Right now we’re in the minority with my oldest who’s “only” doing two activities, because we do eat dinner every night together and we do spend time reading and making sure homework isn’t shortchanged, and that bedtime happens at a reasonable hour every night. It does feel like maybe I’m not giving him enough opportunities, but we both work full time (when I’m not on maternity leave) and hate feeling like every evening is a mad rush.
Does anyone else feel like parenting is increasingly high octane, labor intensive? I don’t think my parents felt this guilty all the time.
It feels like parenting is a second job for both of us and we are past the baby phase. We have a whatsapp group for our youngest son’s class (8/9 yo) and when the time comes for parents to enroll their precious butterflies in clubs (every semester!!!) they talk endlessly about it and share the utter frustration thet their offspring endured for not getting a place in cooking classes!!!
I call BS. The kids could not care less.
This semester we are preparing for summer holidays so we are not paying for any after-school clubs except two. And our kids is perfectly fine. At this point, homework is completely mental with “creative home learning” instead of homework that the kids must do on their own. Result: they take maquettes, models, mini-volcanos to school that their parents made for them, obviously… How can we have the time for this? I told the school that they involve us way too much and complicate thing to an irrealistic level. We have a website for any school news, another webiste to pay for lunches, another website (I kid you not) for activities and clubs… I mean, guilt and burn-out are the evident consequences .
We don’t eat dinner together every night.
I go to work at 4:00 pm at least two days per week but we eat together fairly often and I’m also a huge fan of the crock pot.
I finally got enough Kohl’s cash to get the $100. one for $25. and on sale and it has a warm setting so things don’t overcook.
I was recently talking to a friend about how my mom required we all eat dinner together at the table and how it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
She’s never been a “nice” person but my dad and sister and I would just sit and eat silently while she went on in detail about how crappy her day was. We were an audience, I guess.
Also, we called our younger daughter The Howler Monkey until she could talk because all she did was howl. Morgan Freeman’s voice was her pacifier.
Ha! My darling one-year-old is affectionately known as “the shrieking eel”!
“The shrieking eel.” LOL! Where did that come from??
They outgrow it once they learn to talk. They just have so much to say and can’t verbalize it. Once the HM learned to talk, she didn’t shut up for years but now she’s a pretty quiet little miss.
True, so true. I wanted the time to help them on homework and have dinners together and go to church , so I did not do the fun sportystuff unless it could be gone on Saturday morning or afternoon. So one daughter got Saturday ballet and one son opted for track. That’s it. For years I worried that I screwed up, but when we sit down to dinners and we can converse about politics and their lives I feel I made the right choice. But I did feel a lot of guilt hearing about tournaments and playoffs that my Kids’ friends had.