Busy Philipps: ‘Marriage is not easy. We had a really hard summer’


Busy Philipps is on the cover of Health magazine for the July/August issue. I’ve never really read an issue of Health cover to cover but I ignorantly assumed they dealt with physical health. Based on Busy’s interview, it sounds like they deal with all forms of health, which means I should have been reading all along – sorry Health. Anyway, Busy covers the latest issue and she looks fantastic. I love that bathing suit she’s wearing. She should wear red all the time.

The magazine released a few quotes in front of the issue’s release and they tackle everything from anxiety to Instagram. Busy also talked about the fact that marriage can be tough and that it takes work, just like anything else.

Busy on Anxiety: I grew up in a family where mental health issues are…we’ve got ’em! I’ve had that since I was a kid—racing thoughts, unable to get control of my thoughts, spinning out into paralysis of not being able to do anything and crying hysterically about it, or just feeling totally helpless.

Busy on marriage: “I’ve been vocal that marriage is not easy. It’s complicated. We had a really hard summer [last year], with him directing [I Feel Pretty]—and the specifics of what that is and what that means, I don’t think is super important, publicly, to get into. Everyone is working and struggling to make it work, you know? But I think being honest about how difficult marriage is, and succeeding in long-term relationships is—I think that’s a great conversation to be had.”

Busy on keeping her relationship successful: Complete honesty is key for us. We’re just in a place where we’re incredibly open and honest with one another about literally everything. It took us years to get to that place—and some of it was f—ing brutal, you know? And like, not great—you don’t wanna hear it! But it really is incredibly helpful, ’cause [your partner knows] you better than anyone, probably. I like being very open and honest. And sometimes that means saying, “I’m sorry,” and sometimes that means saying, like, “I need you to say, ‘I’m sorry.’”

Busy on what she doesn’t post on Instagram: People are like, “Your girls always look so sweet,” and I’m like, “Yeah, because I’m not gonna post their horrible moments for you to see!” That’s not fair to them. And there’s some private stuff that I don’t talk too intensely about. There’s stuff with Marc and our relationship that I don’t think is appropriate for me to put out publicly because of my children.”

[From Health]

Everything Busy said is true and yet, rarely heard in celebrity interviews. More often, they try to sell the idea that their relationships are the stuff of fairytales and their bonds are so strong, they just “never fight.” If that’s true – congratulations. But my guess would be more people can identify with what Busy or Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard say about their relationship. I think most couples have gone through a difficult patch. It sounds like Busy and Marc made it through their last summer. Good for them.

Her comments about Instagram are interesting. Busy gets a lot of flak for her Instagram posts, even though she’s admitted that’s her main source of income. Maybe she deserves it. But I appreciate anyone who admits they curate their social media to show a better life than what they live.




Photo credit: Health Magazine and WENN Phtos

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30 Responses to “Busy Philipps: ‘Marriage is not easy. We had a really hard summer’”

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  1. Lee says:

    I feel like she’s always trying hard to stay somewhat relevant.

  2. minx says:

    If that’s her main source of income, that’s sad.

  3. Cupcake says:

    The way she talks about marriage being hard just seems so generic. It could have been anyone giving that interview. Bland and vague.

  4. tealily says:

    Disagree on the red. That cover is a nightmare.

  5. GreenQueen says:

    Whether other people believe she is ‘relevant’ or not I appreciate her and what she brings to the table. I can identify strongly with pretty much everything she said here and she came across to me as a very well-adjusted person and a good mom. The part on anxiety tugged hard at me, she decribed it so well!

    • Mrs Odie says:

      Someone I love so much who was a behind the scenes guy on a very popular kids TV show is friends with Busy Phillips, and they are “ride or die” friends for each other. I cannot overstate the quality of this person’s character and therefore, she is fine by me. Who in Hollywood who is over 24 DOESN’T have to work hard to stay relevant?

  6. j says:

    that cover is a disaster. thought it was kate gosselin. the tan, the posture, the bleach, it’s all terrible. i can tell by the textbook thot posing that she’s instagram famous. otherwise i’m like who dis?

  7. lucy2 says:

    She was good on the new Kimmy Shmidt episodes, I hope she sticks around for the rest of the season (I hate split seasons! Give it all to me now!). It kind of stinks she does better with instagram than her actual career, but given that she has two young kids, it’s probably a lot easier and quicker for her.

    The styling and makeup on that cover is odd.

    • Betsy says:

      I always like watching her, too, and enjoyed her on Kimmy (and I also hate split seasons; I know why they do it, but it’s just annoying!). She has epic b*tch face. Not even RBF, she just looks like she’d cut you. I like watching that at a nice safe distance. 🙂

      • lucy2 says:

        She does – it works great in the right roles.
        She seems to be a nice person though, and I like how she and Michelle have been such close friends for so long.

  8. Mindy_dopple says:

    We’re not going to talk about the chop shop they did on the cover!?

  9. KBB says:

    I didn’t realize her husband directed I Feel Pretty. That explains why she was so defensive about whether or not the message was bad. I was wondering why she would care so much about defending a movie she had a bit part in.

    I think the criticism over her Instagram is because she has admitted she makes money off of it. A lot of stars make money off of their family image, but they don’t discuss it so they don’t get flak for it. Busy is just more honest about it, and that puts a target on her back.

  10. Harryg says:

    Marriage is not supposed to hard. If it’s hard, something is wrong.

    • India Rose says:

      Oh my. This sounds like a potentially narcissistic perspective: expecting everything to go your way and ignoring or dismissing the needs of your partner. My needs are being met, so it’s all good.

      If I’m wrong, apologies HarryG.

      As someone who has worked with married couples for years, your statement is patently false. Long-term, honest, open relationships almost always have difficult times. We all have baggage and it comes out when we live and love and share a home together.

      Getting help during the hard parts is admirable. Pretending they aren’t happening is not.

      • Amaria says:

        I feel that every time people say “all long-term relationships are hard”, they’re trying to normalize their own relationship problems. No, not all long term relationships are hard. As a therapist, one probably sees only the troubled ones – because people who are happy and compatible, and know how to make their marriage work don’t look for therapy. I’d been in hard relationships and tried to normalize it too, then I met my husband and it was a true awakening. I think egos and immaturity often stand in the way – and in the celebrity folk more so than among normal people. Perhaps if more people were actually best friends with their spouses, things would be better for them.

      • bbn says:

        >As someone who has worked with married couples for years, your statement is patently false.

        That’s like a cardiologist saying everyone has heart disease. Your vision might just be a little bit clouded here.

      • India Rose says:

        Never said I was a therapist.

        Cardiologists know the statistics regarding heart disease and don’t assume everyone has it.

        Maybe I should have said this: couples will not always agree. We will not always see things the same way. There will be conflict. (Like when you’re figuring out how to parent young kids. Plan as much as you want: you never know what you’re going to get in those little bundles of personality. Add sleep deprivation and it may be hard to find time to talk to each other.) If we need help dealing with the conflict, there should be no shame in asking for help.

        Sorry if I offended anyone. That wasn’t my intention. There’s a stigma in asking for help. Just like someone with chest pains should seek assistance, so should people who are having relationship issues. It’s not a guaranteed relationship killer to go through a hard patch. Peace.

  11. Patricia says:

    My husband and I almost never fight. I’m not trying to sell anything, that’s just the way it is. I can’t remember the last actual, heated fight we had.
    I had a long relationship with lots of fighting, before I was with my husband. I said a lot of things like “all relationships are hard, it’s hard work” etc etc to try to convince myself that all the fighting way ok and normal. It’s not.
    Like a poster said above, marriage shouldn’t be hard. Marriage should be a support system to get you through hard times, not to cause hard times for you. That’s my take anyway.

    • Katherine says:


    • Jaded1014 says:

      Mr. Jaded and I don’t fight – it there’s a problem we sit down and talk about it calmly. His ex was (and is) a total drama queen, very emotionally messed up, and used to try to goad him into fights all the time, then when he wouldn’t respond she’d storm out of the house and spend a few days with a girlfriend. The only time I yelled at him was when we first got back together after his divorce and I gave him absolute shit for dumping me for the drama queen and demanded an apology before things went any further. He had to win back my trust. Got that out of my system and everything else has been smooth sailing. I don’t think marriage is “work” per se, you just have to be considerate, honest and respectful with your partner.

  12. raptor says:

    She’s annoying as hell, but I also really like her.

  13. sadie77az says:

    Here for Busy!

  14. Ash says:

    Her pink blush on that cover is out of control.

  15. Jenny says:

    I’m so tired of hearing that marriage is hard or hard work, been married for twenty years now and it’s never once been hard or hard work. Marry your best friend and the one you most want to bang and always treat that person like he/she is irreplaceable and the best thing since sliced bread and marriage will be a lifelong vacation on the Seychelles. I promise. Marry for the wrong reasons or the wrong person and I bet marriage is “hard” or “hard work”. Just ask Batfleck.

  16. Regina Falangie says:

    You are confusing “hard” with “bad”. Marriage and long term relationships are hard but they shouldn’t be bad. When two people with different points of view, different histories, different habits, different beliefs, different opinions, etc., come together there are times that are going to be hard. There are times were you both have to work on the relationship. That doesn’t make it bad.

    • bbn says:

      > two people with different points of view, different histories, different habits, different beliefs, different opinions

      Yikes. If this is who you married then maybe that’s why you think marriage is hard.

      • S says:

        How do you NOT marry someone with a different history, opinions and point of view, unless you wed your own clone (and, even then, clones are just genetic matches, environment would still impact)?

  17. S says:

    First, she looks simply gorgeous on that cover, and in the final pic (black dress). Wow.

    Second, yes, MOST relationships have some level of conflict/disappointment/sadness. Because relationships involve more than one actual, complicated human being. Marriage is a series of peaks and valleys for EVERYONE. Sometimes it hums along like a well-oiled machine and you feel bonded with your best friend, others you feel like passionate newlyweds, and still others you want to bash your partner in the head with a frying pan. As long as you just think that last one…Sounds like a normal marriage to me.

    And EVERYONE curates (or should) their social media. Like, duh. Anyone who thinks you know someone’s “real,” inner life from looking at their Twitter or Facebook feed has been taken for a ride.

    Life is messy. Full stop.