Tommy Lee’s son calls him out: ‘You gotta show up to be a Dad’

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While many of us shared sweet photos and sentiments of our fathers on social media, Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee spent the day in a very public war of words with his son Brandon.

The online beef kicked off when the 55-year-old rocker shared a lengthy Instagram post featuring a photo with his father and one with one of his sons (he had two with Pamela Anderson, Dylan, 20 and Brandon, who is 22). Along with the photos, Tommy confessed that “Being a father ain’t easy!” and claimed “Sometimes I feel like I failed as a father, because my kids don’t know the value of things.” He went on to say of his kids that, “I love them dearly, don’t get me wrong, but man, sometimes it’s really tough to watch your kids grow up without those morals.” Ouch.

Happy Father’s Day fellas! I’m not gonna sit here and post some fluffed up bullshit for the public to read…. I’m gonna be honest- Being a father ain’t easy! I’m so tired of the fake shit I keep seeing all over IG… let’s get real: It’s a rollercoaster ok? My father taught me to respect everyone and everything and to take care of those that I loved. He taught me to appreciate my possessions, and to be grateful for the things I was given. I’ve fucked up at times but I’ve always bounced back. When I had a child, my first child, I wanted to instill those same virtues into him. Sometimes I feel like I failed as a father, because my kids don’t know the value of things. If they break something, they don’t care because they know they’ll just get a new one, if they hurt someone, they don’t care because so many people tell them it’s OK. I never wanted this for my kids. I know I’m not fully to blame, because their mom has a lot to do with it, enabling bad behavior and buying them things when they weren’t good, but I guess I hoped at the end of the day they would end up kind. I love them dearly, don’t get me wrong, but man, sometimes it’s really tough to watch your kids grow up without those morals. Nothing can really prepare you for fatherhood …. I love my boys but they can be assholes too…and that’s the truth (Cue Honest Guy music)

A post shared by ☨☯ɱɱ¥ ᒪ☰☰ (@tommylee) on

Apparently, those words were like shots fired as far as Brandon was concerned, who took a screencap of his father’s post and shared it on his Instagram page, clapping back at Tommy by stating, “You gotta show up to be a Dad big guy. If you think we’re so bad (which I can assure you we are not) then you should have showed up to a few more BDays and baseball games. Someone like you couldn’t raise a man like me.” He ended his rant by telling his father, “Just move on dude… WE ALL HAVE. ✌🏼or I’ll put you right back to f**kin sleep 😴”

After that post, Brandon posted (and later took down) a video of his father passed out on the ground. The video came from an incident in March where Brandon knocked his dad out cold. The punch was self-defense, according to Brandon. The two got into an altercation on March 5, stemming from Tommy criticizing his ex, Pamela, for comments she made about their relationship on Piers Morgan’s show. In a statement following the incident, Tommy said,

“(He) came in the room angry about my response to Pamela’s relentless press about our old relationship, with his dukes up, telling me to get up and fight him,” Lee explained in a statement. “When I stood up he pushed me into a wall. I didn’t want to hit my son. I never have and I never will. If I wanted to clock him I would have knocked him on his ass. He had no problem knocking me out. I asked him to leave and he spun around and sucker punched me. Knocked me unconscious.”

[Via Ultimate Classic Rock]

TMZ reported at the time that a source “connected to Brandon” told them that Tommy was drunk at the time and that Brandon acted in self-defense. The case was dismissed by the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s office in April. The day after the fight, Tommy posted a photo of his busted lip on Instagram, captioning the shot, “My heart is broken. You can give your kids everything they could ever want in their entire lives and they can still turn against you. Good job Brandon! Great son!” (Tommy has since deleted the post.)

It seems that this social media storm has blown over, for the moment, as Brandon took down the video and addressed his father in a obscenity-laden post on Monday, asking him to “please stop posting all of this on social media, it’s making us all act like kids.” Posting on social media to request an end to posting on social media? Okay, I guess if that works for you. I’m pretty sure Tommy wasn’t always deserving of a “World’s Greatest Dad” coffee mug and I’m sure some celebrity kids get spoiled, but this discussion should have stayed private from the get-go, right?

Sorry for the noise everyone. Hopefully this is the End.

A post shared by Brandon Thomas Lee (@brandonthomaslee) on

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74 Responses to “Tommy Lee’s son calls him out: ‘You gotta show up to be a Dad’”

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  1. Elisabeth says:

    I’m going to go with Brandon on this. Tommy is a shitbag and a bully. You can’t act like an @#@!# to your kids and get away with it forever.

    • OnTheLamb says:

      Pamela has a lot of heart, but due to early abuse experience has always chosen these erratic violent men. Not to say her two sons aren’t gorgeous and good people, but the bad boys grow up to be bad fathers. IMO it’s healthy her boys see Tommy for what he is- there’s no “sucking up”or hero worship. I hope these young men work hard to be sober, good dads in their time despite the horrific role modeling.

    • nikki says:

      Absolutely. Who speaks about their children like this, EVER, let alone publicly on social media? What a poor excuse for a parent.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      Tommy Lee was always a awful person who has serious violence issues. Pamela always seemed like a nice person but always went for the bad boys who treated her like crap, current boyfriend included in this – he’s just using her to support his ’cause’. However, it seems like she raised her sons to be good men, considering what kind of man their father is and the shi!t that he put them and their mother through growing up. Brandon is just defending himself and his family from an attention seeking douchbag/over the hill rocker that no one is interested in anymore.

  2. Runcmc says:

    Honestly I believe both of them. I believe Tommy was an absent father who expected his sons to be his bff as grownups without putting in the work to raise them. And I believe Brandon is spoiled and unkind.

    • Froggy says:

      Exactly this.

    • French Girl says:

      Nobody (spoiled or not) deserved this pack of alcoholic garbage like father.

    • Zapp Brannigan says:

      It was reported that Tommy Lee hit Pamela Anderson while she was holding one of their children and dangles the child in front of the family rottweiller to taunt him. This is more than spoilt child and absent dad, there is long history of abuse and toxicity in this family.

      http://articles.latimes.com/1998/may/21/local/me-51994

      Lee was sentenced to six months in Los Angeles County Jail. “What I see here is a very clear–very disturbing, in my judgment–pattern of conduct in which otherwise resolvable matters are handled by violence,” Mira said. “You do it whether it’s a family member or a third party. That’s intolerable in any kind of civilized society.” Quote from the Judge.

      • Babs says:

        OMG, I didn’t know that! What a giant pos.

      • French Girl says:

        +133

      • Runcmc says:

        WOW! I did not know that either. That really does change things… maybe Brandon is “unkind” – to his father, who is an abusive POS and deserves it. Like he’s lucky Brandon is even speaking to him (and after reading that…I feel like he should cut his father off)

      • Froggy says:

        I had no idea. I was just judging from the Father’s Day ig stuff and the child is an adult.
        Obviously it goes deep and there’s lots of hurt and bad parenting involved.

      • Lady D says:

        Didn’t know either.

      • Asiyah says:

        I dated a guy like Tommy Lee. Online he appears to be this misunderstood man and all you have to do is hear his side of the story because he really means well you guys but he’s an abusive POS who makes this public purely for damage control. I totally believe Brandon.

      • Eleonor says:

        “Lee assaulted his wife, who was holding their infant son, after she refused to call her parents and ask them not to come over to the couple’s home, Solorzano said.”
        Well…I think Brandon has seen too much from his “daddy”.

    • Natalia says:

      Why is Brandon spolied and unkind? For speaking the truth pretty damn articulately? Dont forget, the father started it.

      The truth is the truth. Some people don’t like the truth even when they’re a bystander.

    • Pia says:

      He’s not being unkind to his father. His fathers insta post that started it, is textbook manipulative abusive parent.

  3. Jay says:

    The kid looks like Sean penn

    • DesertReal says:

      I came here to say exactly that! He looks so much like Hopper Penn it’s all I can see when I look at him.
      Well that and Brandon is 100% correct. His father is an abusive, narcissistic, self-absorbed d-bag. He responded like a 20 year old (on social media) but he has a point.

    • Kitten says:

      His IG is full of doucheface pics. But honestly, I feel for him so much. Maybe he is spoiled and he does seem to have anger issues but Tommy Lee has always been a garbage person. I have no doubt that he was a sh-tty dad.

    • Kit says:

      I think he looks just like his mother, and thank God for that.

  4. CharlotteCharlotte says:

    And yet, didn’t Tommy beat up Pamela? And Heather? He wants to brag that he didn’t hit his son and never will – is it because he only likes to beat up tiny women?

    • Milla says:

      Yes. Tommy has been abusive and he destroyed at least two women plus the kids. He can go to hell.

    • Ninks says:

      But he damn sure wants you to know that he *could* beat up his son, if he wanted to.

    • Lizzie says:

      Yep. He only beats on people smaller than him.

    • Aren says:

      I don’t recall him hitting Heather (not that it would make him a better person). He did hit another of his ex-girlfriends, but I can’t remember who.

      • Boxy Lady says:

        I think it was Mayte Garcia, Prince’s first wife. She and Tommy were engaged at some point and her lips are tattooed on his neck. I don’t know if him abusing her was actually confirmed but I definitely heard the rumor that that is why they broke up.

      • Lolololol says:

        Ohhhh. Poor Mayte. Glad she got out!

    • Anon33 says:

      That is PRECISELY what abusers do. Mine backed down from EVERY fight ever instigated by a man, but he acted like mr. big scary shit when he was beating me.

      • CharlotteCharlotte says:

        Precisely. Same here. Love and light to you. I’m pleased we are alive xxx

      • CharlotteCharlotte says:

        Oh, and to add, he might not *hit* his children, but that absolutely isn’t the worst thing an abuser can do. I know this too. And it seems so too do Tommy’s boys.

  5. Babs says:

    Just wow. A mess all around. So much toxicity here. That was a depressing read.

    • Esmom says:

      Seriously. The only good that came out of it for me was realizing that maybe I’m doing a better job with own teen sons than I thought I was.

    • tealily says:

      Yeah, it makes me really grateful for my own family.

  6. Betsy says:

    Tommy really sounds like a dirtbag, blaming his ex for how poorly their kids turned out. Brandon probably is spoiled, but he’s also 22 (or 20, I don’t know which one this kid is).

  7. Millennial says:

    At the end of the day, Brandon is 22 and Tommy is 55. One is still probably sorting out their childhood and the other should be the parent/adult and not post passive aggressive crap on Instagram. I give Brandon a pass because he’s young (and I deal with the spoiled children of the elite all day – it’s enough to make me never play the lottery) but I’m not giving Tommy a pass here at all.

  8. Snowpea says:

    Oh my Ive always had a soft spot for this family (no I don’t know why either) but this is a real insight into some super messed up shiz.

    I totally understand Tommy’s rant because i say the same stuff about my kids who are a similar age to Brandon. But I really think its just this generation of kids who have known nothing but excess and gadgets and immediate gratification etc which makes them *seem* spoilt and entitled.

    But underneath they are all mostly pretty good – just different to us 1970′s kids who drank from the tap, stayed out till dark and had to share one Game n Watch between three siblings ; )

    Wow just wow. Its gunna be a hard road to travel to reconcile this mess though :(

    • Hmm says:

      Well, tommy doesn’t remember building a Starbucks in their house I guess. Or that was Pamela’s fault. 🙄🙄 he helped spoil them for the few years he helped raise them.

    • India Rose says:

      Did you forget your kid’s birthday this year? That part was rough to read.

      My kids drink from the tap, too. Which is just — irrelevant.

      If I have an issue with their behavior, God help me if I plaster it publicly in front of all their friends. It’s intentionally humiliating them, which is a kind of abuse, even when the kid is legally an adult.

      Does he need to go to rehab? This is the behavior of a narcissist and an addict. Totally unacceptable and self-serving.

  9. Lucy2 says:

    That’s a sad situation. Both sound very angry and difficult, but one is the parent here and should have done better. Instead he’s whining and playing the victim.
    I hope they both keep this off social media, and seek some help.

  10. Renee2 says:

    Yeah, the kid could have behaved differently but his dad is an abusive, racist POS. I remember when he and Nikki Sixx beat up a security guard, spitting on him and yelling racist slurs at him, and I remember when Pamela Anderson recounted how the first time that he assaulted her she was holding one of her kids. Tommy Lee is garbage. Kids just don’t magically turn out to be amazing people on their own, you’ve got to put in the work. Also, why is running his sons down on social media??? Ugh, what trash.

  11. greenmonster says:

    I have to side with Brandon here. Two people are involved in this social media fight (although Tommy does his best to drag Pamela into it as well and once again) one is 22, the other one 55. With 55 Tommy Lee should know better, but then it’s Tommy Lee we are talking about.
    What virtues did he plan to instill into his sons? That it is ok to hit their mother while she is holding one of their sons? That it is ok to lay hands on any woman? Instead of actually seeing his shortcomings as a father he instantly blames Pamela for anything he doesn’t like about their sons. Tommy Lee is a POS.

  12. Hmm says:

    It’s what happens when parents are absent but try to talk mess about the other parent. Of course the kids are gonna be mad. Brandon posts photos of his mom with loving captions… He adores her.

    Tommy should take responsibility and leave his kids alone or try to do better.

  13. Snowflake says:

    I’m team Brandon here.

    • Mellie says:

      Me too, poor kid. Proof that money does not buy everything. I hate to think about what that poor kid has seen in his young life.

  14. Beth says:

    Do people ever discuss things privately in person or in a telephone conversation anymore? Why does everything have to be on social media for the world to see? Smearing eachother publicly like this will just make it tougher to have any kind of relationship in the future

    • Andrea says:

      They probably only communicate through social media. Sounds like he didn’t even wish Brandon a hapy birthday.

    • lucy2 says:

      Nope. Some woman I went to high school with had a very public facebook fight because she apparently slept with the boyfriend of either her daughter or her daughter’s friend, I don’t remember. But it was like holy moly people, others can see this!!!

      • Andrea says:

        I saw where a high school friend posted how what we thought of her husband driving a woman home from a supposedly guys only bachelor party while she was 8 months pregnant. 3 kids later I can’t take her happy families posts after that.

        Not to mention a friend of mine who posted how her husband didn’t come home last night then 2 days later he tells her he us never coming home, ran off with a waitress, while she had 2 kids with him 2 years and 8 months. She knew him for 15 years too!!

        Oversharing is an understatement.

  15. JustJen says:

    They’re both idiots, but Brandon really needs to ditch those sunglasses.

  16. oandlomom says:

    It’s an interesting insight into the mind of the abuser, how he complains that Pamela is bringing up “old stuff “ by talking about how he assaulted her Mine is like that, too, he thinks he shouldn’t be held accountable for violence that he committed after a certain of time has passed. Also how he says she texts him and tries to “get him back”, like that means what he did wasn’t that bad.

  17. Yathink says:

    Dad is an abusive POS to mum. They split up. Dad is rarely around and when he is he’s drunk. Dad posts whine about his kids.

    That the kid reigned his response in to a clap back on the same platform and didn’t knock that asshole out again is, I think, a pretty good sign of character.

  18. HK9 says:

    While I’ve never really followed Tommy Lee & Pam, I always suspected he was a POS. Now, he’s confirmed that he’s a POS and is still in denial about the role he plays in his current situation. While Tommy says his father taught him a lot, I don’t think he really learned a damn thing from him because if he did, he never would have posted that crap for the whole world to read.

  19. Aren says:

    There are other ways to respond to abuse. The son is just like Lee, and for the sake of the people near him, I hope he gets help now he’s still young.

  20. erni says:

    Brandon’s grammar is not bad.
    #myfirstthought

  21. Pia says:

    This Tommy guy has an abusive past towards his women that his sons witnessed as small children from what I read. His IG post, the passive aggressive shaming of his son for all the world to see is also textbook abusive behaviour.

  22. Happy21 says:

    Both sons went to a posh private school close to where Pam comes from, close to where I live. There were a few photos over the years of Tommy visiting the kids but in reality I don’t think he was there. Pam, on the other hand, has a compound not far from where the boys went to school and was often in the local news of being out and about with her boys. I think that no matter the mess she appeared to the public, she still showed up as a mother. And I don’t like coming down on Tommy but dude has had addiction issues and problems for eternity, I believe he doesn’t truly know what it means to be a father.

    • H says:

      There was a comment on another site from a former PA of Pamela’s who backed up Brandon and said that Pam was a very involved mom. The ex-PA said that she had to arrange Pamela’s schedule around her sons’ activities. Sounds like Tommy was never around and being an alcoholic and rageaholic, he can’t seem to remember that. He’s a POS.

    • French Girl says:

      I remember you can find many pics of Pamela Anderson at her sons’ sport trainings at Malibu/Santa Monica when her children were younger.
      Never you find Tommy Lee

  23. Anilehcim says:

    Tommy has been a scumbag for a very, very long time.

    Who posts a comment on father’s day about what terrible kids his sons are and what a bad mom their mother is? That was just weird and asking for trouble. This guy has been engaged more times in the last 5 years that I can keep track of…. and his new fiancee does seem like bad news, though she’s obviously not responsible for his behavior because he’s a grown man.

    I think Brandon has come out on top in this entire situation, but it’s sad that father and a son who used to be so close have had their relationship come to this.

    • hogtowngooner says:

      +1

      Even if their mom is a total mess, you just don’t disparage her to your children, especially on social media where anyone can see it.

      Tommy’s human garbage for everything he put Pam and those kids through, and then for him to act all offended when his adult children want nothing to do with him just shows what an entitled douche he is.

  24. gemcat says:

    Okay, first thought, grammar on point. Second..Brandon goes so far as to accurately call his dad motherfucker, that kinda made my day *and yeah Tommy’s always been a piece of shit.

  25. nikzilla says:

    Some people are just not meant to be parents and Tommy Lee is one of them.

  26. Yes Doubtful says:

    It seems to me that his son is turning out just like him. Violent, angry and eager to tell the world about private family issues.

  27. MSat says:

    Tommy Lee is absolutely gross. He gave Pam Hep C, abused her while she was pregnant, and spent the last decade talking shit about her to anyone and everyone, including their children. And he has shown ZERO growth as an adult human.

    If he is unhappy with how his boys turned out and how they speak to him, he needs to take a good long look in the mirror. Because children model what they see.

  28. SJhere says:

    Man, I’m 56 and was a big Crew fan.
    Having said that, I also knew what a nasty Guy Tommy Lee is, stories about his behaviour were very well known at the height of his fame.
    At 55 y/o now, he is clearly an addict. Plain and simple. If he was a working class guy who treated his family as he has…people would have been coming down hard on him for decades.
    His money and fame carried him thru his A**hole behaviour, IMO.

    Money is not the solution to parenting.
    Children need stable, reliable parents who are able to care for and guide them with love.

    He has zero to be proud of in his personal relationships, IMO. And good for Brandon for publicly stating what an absent, lousy parent Tommy Lee has always been.
    Btw, if Tommy was suddenly bankrupt, does he truly think any of his decades younger girlfriends will stick around. Fool.

  29. WendyNerd says:

    Tommy is a well-known dirtbag who abuses women and constantly uses drugs. He beat up Pam WHILE she was pregnant and when holding one of the boys! Team Brandon.

  30. Mia C says:

    This is sad all around. It seems like yesterday these kids were babies. Time flies.