Justin Theroux on his tattoos: ‘I don’t put a lot of thought into mine’

CFDA Fashion Awards 2018 in New York

Justin Theroux covers the July/August issue of Men’s Health to promote his role in The Spy Who Dumped Me. It’s a lighter action-comedy with Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon, and Justin plays the “spy.” It’s one chance to play that kind of badass spy character and it’s in a comedy. Still, I’m interested in seeing how the film does, and I’m interested in the reviews. As for this interview… it reads like Mid-Life Crisis Monthly, quite honestly. Maybe Justin Theroux is truly edgy, but if he was really edgy, would have to perform his edginess so thoroughly in Men’s Health magazine? I don’t know. You can read the full piece here – it starts out in a boxing ring and the piece ends with Edgy Justin’s weekly workout tips. Hint: he doesn’t do leg days!! He’s all about the arms (and his torso, to be be fair). Some highlights:

Life at 46: “When I was in my early 20s, I was impatient. Always wanting things to happen the way I wanted them to happen. And that has gone away. Not completely—because there are definitely things I want to happen in the time I want them to happen. But I don’t lose sleep over things anymore the same way I used to… I learned—not early, but at some point—if you do the things you like to do, you’ll produce better work. When you’re doing things you don’t want to do, the work suffers. How could it not?”

What happens when something’s not working: “I get up and do what I do. When I do things I don’t necessarily want to do, or I get stuck in a situation where I’m like, ‘Oh, this was not the best choice,’ I’m still aware there’s something to be gleaned from that experience. You have to just find some nugget that makes it worthwhile. Otherwise you’ll completely give up. Bad work experiences are instructive: (A) what I shouldn’t do again; (B) how things are done wrong and how I can do better.”

Why he signed on to The Spy Who Dumped Me: “I can tell you I am a spy, and I do dump someone. This little bonbon popped up and I love Mila and Kate, so I was like, ‘Yeah, let’s go to Budapest and do this. I get to shoot things, blow things up, and be a spy for a while.’”

On bucket lists: “I was talking to someone recently about bucket lists, and I was like, ‘I don’t have a bucket list.’ In ideal circumstances, the bucket list just starts to happen if you’re leading your life well. I happened to be driving by a skydiving school once and decided to go skydiving. A split-second decision. It wasn’t anything I planned. I always wanted to ride a motorcycle across Europe. I’ve done that three times now.”

His tattoos: “I don’t put a lot of thought into mine. I never had a stage when I was like, ‘I want to get a tattoo, it has to be really meaningful, it’s also gotta have a yin and yang in it and be an homage to my mother.’ There are a lot of people designing their own tattoos who are frustrating a lot of tattoo artists. I’m real easy. I’ll go in, like, ‘What should we do?’ ‘I dunno, what do you wanna do?’ So it’s kind of when the mood strikes.”

[From Men’s Health]

Won’t anyone think of the frustrated tattoo artists who just want to be left in peace to design tattoos without people wanting something personally significant to ink on their bodies for the rest of their lives? My God. I honestly don’t care about tattoos at this point – some people have them, some don’t, some look good, some don’t. But trying to prove your I’m So Hardcore And Edgy pass by claiming he’ll just let tattoo artists do whatever they want to his body? Dude. As for the rest of it… as I said, the whole piece came across as Mid-Life Crisis Monthly. He wouldn’t say anything about Jennifer Aniston either, which just adds to my suspicions about whether they were even truly married.

Justin Theroux enjoys a solo walk in the West Village

Justin Theroux enjoys a solo walk in the West Village

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, cover courtesy of Men’s Health.

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58 Responses to “Justin Theroux on his tattoos: ‘I don’t put a lot of thought into mine’”

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  1. JustJen says:

    Shocker. I suspect he doesn’t put a lot of thought into a lot of things. Like the words that come out of his pie hole.

  2. sara says:

    The rat tattoo on his back is an homage to his mother? Does he hate his mother? Also, wow it’s super edgy to do a pap walk for free Louis Vuitton.

  3. Sojaschnitzel says:


    • j says:

      Someone tell him to give Ryan Reynolds his pose back. He doesn’t have half the looks or self deprecation to pull it off.

  4. VegasSchmegas says:

    Hard to take him on his “edgy” face value when he’s sporting that backpack around NYC.

  5. Nancy says:

    Perfect timing. I’m headed out the door. #DOUCHEBAG……………..LOL

  6. Tiffany says:

    Ummmm….I think he should focus on his legs in workouts.

  7. brooksie says:

    Completely unrelated to the article, but I started following him on Instagram a few weeks ago and his stories are pretty entertaining. And his dog is the absolute cutest.

    • Jenns says:

      I do to. And I can’t figure out if his constant “New York” graphics on his stories are for real or if he’s trolling. Because if it is a troll, it’s pretty good.

  8. HelloSunshine says:

    Lol if he weren’t so try hard and douchey, I’d agree with him more. I don’t think tattoos have to have meaning. I just got one because I happen to like a certain animal and I have an amazing artist who did an amazing job. Coming from him, it sounds try hard. He reads as deeply insecure to me lol

    • Wren says:

      I agree. I’m definitely not on the “oh give me anything” level about tattoos, but mine have no meaning in and of themselves. I just like them. The meaning they have is linked to the memories of getting them and what my life was like at the time, not the actual image itself.

  9. anniefannie says:

    He’s got great guns but he’s totally safe from me because of the ridiculous boxing stance, Who thought that was a good idea? Is he being ironic? The definition of douche! I’d like to think the photographer was trolling him…

  10. Elena says:

    So edgy that he’s on the magazine cover at my doctor’s office….LOL @ SodaBelly

    • AMA1977 says:

      My husband gets Men’s Health and this issue is currently in our bathroom. I flip it over cover-down every time I see it because I CANNOT with this spindly-legged, whiny, balding-but-pompadoured, LOUIS VUITTON BACKPACK WEARING edgelord. Props to whoever coined “edgelord” on this site because it gives me the giggles every. single. time.

  11. Stubbylove says:

    It’s rare that a guy bugs me that much but he BUGS the shit out of me and that stupid pose on the cover doesn’t help.

  12. Jenns says:

    I re-watched The Leftovers this weekend, thanks to a free HBO preview, and he is so damn good in that show. He and Ann Dowd play perfectly off one another.

    I can’t take real life, edgy Justin. Only the Justin in The Leftovers.

  13. K says:

    Yes, he’s a corny douche; yes, they weren’t married; yes, try hard edgy, yes yes yes, but … omg how hot is he? *sexy cat noise*

    • arianna says:

      I agree, they were never married, which makes all the interviews Jennifer Aniston did talking about being “married” even more duplicitous. Neither she nor the tiny shrimp seem to feel the need to be ethical, which makes me question EVERYTHING either has ever said.

  14. PBAN says:

    He really should start and have leg days. Body Balance is everything. He has no Body Balance.

    work on the legs.

    • arianna says:

      It’s really strange to see a man work out his upper body so diligently and completely ignore his lower body. Weird.

  15. KiddV says:

    I couldn’t read this, he’s too edgy for me.

    • Mishka says:

      Kiddv you are funny! :-) :-)

      Yeah he wants to be 20′years old and edgy in NYC. KEEP DREAMING! And also have longer legs to match his upper torso! Hahaha

  16. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    LV backpack screams edge.

  17. Happy21 says:

    Like a Kardashian, everything is calculated. I don’t believe his comment about his tattoos anymore than I believe a Kardashian proclaiming they haven’t had work done. As if that pap walk with the Louis Vuitton backpack isn’t thirsty as hell and calculated.
    Ugh, what the hell did Jen see in him?

    • Mira Belle says:

      These comments are 24 karat. Pure. Gold. Effortlessly funny and true, and giggling as I type this. Keep up the good work!

    • stingingnettle says:

      Shrugs. Aniston is as fake, staged and thirsty as he is. They both deserve each other.

  18. Dr Mrs The Monarch says:

    He sounds like a complete bimbo…himbo? “I do things that I do when I do them and I don’t care too much but I like what I do when I do things”

    • kosmos says:

      I was always surprised when Jen took to him and then it got serious. I never thought of him being right for her, I guess, but maybe she was tired of trying to find Mr. Right and settled, you know? That was always my impression, but it backfired on her with Justin, since he was never going to stay with someone for long, always wanting to find a reason to go back to his single life edginess and back to NY where he could be a free spirit. I say to him just don’t engage in a real relationship with anyone or hurt anyone when you cannot commit in the real way.

      • Pam_L says:

        I think they probably started hot and heavy on the set of Wander Lust, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find they were never married considering he lived with Heidi for 14 years without making that commitment. What I do think is that they had a very detailed contract. Justin certainly got an upgrade from it all with a new agency that open doors like Leftovers and Girl on a Train and magazine cover stories like the one referenced above.

        What did Jennifer get out of it? A constant companion and a mate during the marriage of her ex. That’s not a dig at her either, I actually think it was a smart move on her part especially with someone she obviously had chemistry with. But I do think it was just a very detailed contract between them.

      • stingingnettle says:

        He was with his ex for 14 years. Far longer than any of Jen’s relationships lasted.

  19. AnotherDirtyMartini says:

    Oooooo, how edgy you are, Justin! And you really didn’t need to tell us about your legs. We can tell.

    Re the Spy Who Dumped Me, I’m picturing Jen’s sadistic, nympho dentist from Horrible Bosses torturing him – not from lust though. All from disgust.

  20. Sam says:

    Each to their own I guess, but I definitely put a lot of thought into my tattoo, because you know…it’s permanent.

  21. Ginger says:

    Also: botox is not edgy, my dude.

  22. Carrie1 says:

    Ok. He’s a child. I wasn’t expecting that.

  23. Raina says:

    If he works his legs out, maybe he’ll get some.

    He’s a walking (hot) torso.

  24. CityGirl says:

    Clearly he doesn’t put much thought into them, cuz they ugly!

  25. HannahF says:

    1. Yes to leg days. Top and bottom don’t match.

    2. The LV backpack was intentional as he is a brand ambassador for/face of (or whatever the proper nomenclature is) Louis Vuitton

  26. Happy21 says:

    These comments are hilarious! Love it! Thanks for the giggles at Theroux’ expense :)

  27. Alix says:

    So edgy he does bucket-list stuff without a bucket list! Could he BE any edgier???

  28. SlightlyAnonny says:

    So there used to be a tattoo show (there still could be) with Dave Navarro hosting it where they were trying to find the best tattoo master (watch the show have been called Tattoo Master). Anywho, one ep a douchey tattoo artist had an equally douchey client and in the end, she refused to be tattooed by him (which, correct decision why get ink from someone who loathes you). His only option to remain in the competition would have been to tattoo himself with the symbol she wanted, a phoenix. He tried to do it and couldn’t, his logic being that he didn’t want a meaningless (to him) symbol on his body for the rest of his life (which, again correct decision, it would have been stupid). He was eliminated. All this is to say, Justin, you are full of poop and doing edgy wrong.

    • tealily says:

      I remember that show! Didn’t some people sign have to get just whatever tattoos the artists were assigned for that round? Seems so stupid!

  29. LadyT says:

    Ewww. He referred to the movie as “this little bonbon that popped up.” Who talks like that?

  30. tealily says:

    I feel like his whole spiel about what he does when things aren’t working is about Jennifer Aniston. No?

  31. tw says:

    He’s not dressing for his body type y’all !
    Those skinny jeans are doing nothing for his skinny legs.

  32. steph o says:

    I cringed with secondhand embarrassment at his skydiving comment.

  33. Nicegirl says:

    He’s just so cool. Like an edgy dreamy dreamboat, filled with edges.