Good lord, the full-length ‘Aquaman’ trailer is a damp, ridiculous mess

2018 San Diego Comic Con - Entertainment Weekly's closing night party - Arrivals

Here are some photos of Jason Momoa and the cast of Aquaman at Comic Con this weekend. Momoa was all over the place – attending panels and partying and looking like the life of said parties. He’s so… sexy. I can’t help it, I know he says dumb things, but I believe his heart is in the right place and I need to believe that he’s a somewhat good guy. Because he’s sooo beautiful. I don’t even mind the long hair and the too-long beard. I’m into it. I would roughhouse with him.

Anyway, the full-length Aquaman trailer debuted at Comic-Con, and I guess we need to discuss this mess. I’ll meet you on the other side:

Real question: for a superhero like Aquaman, do we really need this much of a backstory? I mean, he’s a bloody MERMAN and can’t we just take it on faith that there’s a whole Merman Culture and just move into the story? But no, the merman has to be angsty and he has to have Mixed Merman Feelings About Doing The Right Thing. And why does Patrick Wilson look like Merman Hitler Youth??? And what’s going on with Nicole Kidman? My God, this is a mess. If you want to support it, God bless, but this looks disastrous.

Also: I completely support Amber Heard as a woman who was abused, but God bless it, she can’t act for sh-t. She never could. Think about this: the people who cut trailers try to put the best parts in the trailer. Those are the line-readings that are the “best” from Amber’s performance. It’s awful.

Also awful? Warner Bros doesn’t care about Amber’s welfare or state of mind. An hour before Warner Bros debuted the Aquaman cast, they organized the “surprise appearance” from Johnny Depp at their Fantastic Beasts panel. Sources claim Depp and Heard missed each other completely, but it’s still a very sh-tty thing to do to Amber.

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Embed from Getty Images

Photos courtesy of Getty.

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95 Responses to “Good lord, the full-length ‘Aquaman’ trailer is a damp, ridiculous mess”

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  1. manda says:

    Yeah, seriously, where did Amber Heard come from? I first saw her as the girlfriend in Pineapple Express, and I remember she was sort of “It” at that time, but I had no idea why. I just figured I was missing something.

    That being said, I will totally watch this movie!

    • BooRadley says:

      I have literally always asked why is she? I have always thought (other than pineapple express) that she just stands there and mugs and sounds wooden and terrible. Maybe this movie will finally kill her career.
      Ah who am I kidding, she’s pretty and white. She’ll probably win an oscar eventually 🙁

      • noway says:

        “She’s pretty and white. She’ll probably win an oscar eventually.” I’m sorry that’s hilarious. Entirely possible, but for some reason I find it hilarious. I think I’ve passed into hysteria with this crazy ass world we are in now. Yes Amber is a horrible actress.

      • horseandhound says:

        pretty and white? do you really believe that’s enough? there are many pretty, white actresses that would never be considered for that award. amber is a mess. and not really talented. there’s no way.

      • FLORC says:

        For years before her bigger breaks she was marketing herself as the hot, blonde bi girl that loves muscle cars and gaming. Being a blend of stereotypes like that. Her talent was 2nd to her marketing. Same as always.

        This trailer looks like a mess of a movie. Usually the action can cover a bad script. This looks horrific

    • tracking says:

      Ugh, they’re both stunningly beautiful but terrible actors; this looks beyond godawful. Her line delivery is embarrassingly bad. Bad idea to use so much of it in the promo. Maybe they thought it was less bad than his?

    • AmunetMaat says:

      Yes, I am pumped to see this and the backstory looks like it was done right. I know nothing about Aquaman besides the Justice League cartoons from back in the day and the Justice League movie. I’m game. I just wish Amber Heard was not in this at all.

    • smcollins says:

      I’ve wondered the same thing. She’s so bland as an actress. The only role that’s stood out to me was her performance in North Country as the teenaged version of Charlize Theron’s character. It wasn’t a huge part, but an important one, and she did a good job. Aside from that I find her pretty unforgettable. I won’t go to the theater to see Aquaman but I’ll definitely watch it when it comes to HBO or whatever. I could watch JM all day long.

    • frankly says:

      Me:
      That wig is terrible.
      Oooh, that dialogue is terrible.
      Her acting is terrible.
      That wig is terrible.
      Dialogue terrible.
      Wig
      acting
      wig
      dialogue…

      I thought the aquarium scene with the kids had potential. Of course, I’m also planning to see The Meg opening weekend, so it may just be sharks.

      • LadyT says:

        You read my mind. Exact same thought process here.

      • raincoaster says:

        Agreed, every word.

        I understand they wanted the hair to have some colour to it in the undersea parts, so it had to be vivid. But couldn’t they have moderated it a bit in the dry land parts? That thing is heinous.

      • Liz version 700 says:

        The wig makes Amber look like a reject from a “Strawberry Shortcake” cartoon. So much $$ for their budget and they gave her that?!?

      • LWT says:

        My exact thought process! Oh LORD that wig is horrible! The whole thing requires a lot of suspension of disbelief but the catch-phrasy dialogue delivered by truly terrible actors just… this is going to be unintentionally hilarious.

      • magnoliarose says:

        The wig should have an agent and be on a separate press tour. That thing has more life in it than the actors.

      • WendyNerd says:

        When you’re making Uma Thurman in Batman and Robin look realistic…

  2. Mariposa says:

    Wasn’t Aquaman the fictional film that Vince did on Entourage which completely bombed? (Yes….sorry, Entourage fan!)

    • Mara says:

      Actually I think it was really successful and launched him from being a famous actor to movie stardom.
      I wish I didn’t know that, I wish I could scrub Entourage storylines from my memory.

  3. PBAN says:

    It’s the terrible dialogue. It like they wrote the whole thing in catch phrases. If you mute it, it’s better. But that cheesy dialogue is horrid and will get on your nerves. Just let them talk like normal people. They were trying too hard to be like Dead Pool. We are going to see that now in ever Super Hero film.

    to be fair Amber’s acting is terrible but Jason Momoa is not any better. They are very equal in the terrible acting department.

  4. Millenial says:

    I love both Jason and Nicole, so I will definitely watch this. Don’t know if it will break the DC curse though.

    • holly hobby says:

      Based on this article and the comments, it looks like DC f—ed over another comic book franchise. Seriously, with the exception of Wonder Woman, why are all DC movies depressing and dark?

    • DesertReal says:

      I love Jason too and that is who I will be enjoying when I plunk down my $ (for a matinee ticket) lol

  5. RBC says:

    This movie looks like fun! A movie that has battle scenes with soldiers on sharks is a must see!
    On a side note: Has anyone noticed that the photos of the cast have ads for drug addiction centres across the bottom?

    • Incredulous says:

      Yeah, I saw the battle sharks too and thought BATTLE SHARKS! But I’ve been burned before. I thought Into the Blue would have scenes with sharks on cocaine (SHARKS ON COCAINE!) but it did not. Boo.

  6. Willow says:

    Jason always looks like he needs a shower. Added to his rudeness to people in the service industry he should be on his knees everyday in gratitude that he got this far in the business with little talent. Ditto to Amber Heard. Kidman is just collecting a paycheck.

    • Nancy says:

      Thank you Willow. I get so confused when I see all the posts how gorgeous he is. Blah, not even remotely. Also, who ever Heard of Amber before Depp, an actress she is not. I do like Nicole, but she really looks out of place in the pics.

    • Beth says:

      I agree. I understand everyone has their own taste and opinion, but there’s nothing eye catching about him, and I probably wouldn’t even look twice if he walked by me.

    • Darla says:

      I think he’s gorgeous and HOT. As far as rudeness, that i had not heard about.

    • TheOriginalMia says:

      I used to buy his hippy surfer dude schtick until DragonCon and his true personality came out. He was rude, inconsiderate, entitled and a dumb jerk to his handlers. He lost his backpack. Blamed his handler when he was drunk and left it under a table. Never apologized. Also didn’t like how dismissive he was towards one of his former costars, who had been treated pretty badly by TPTB. She was a fan favorite, but this douche thought he was much better than her. He wasn’t.

      • H says:

        Thank you, @TheOriginalMia, I’ve never understood the love for Jason Momoa. When he was on Stargate Atlantis I used to go to conventions to see him and his co-star Joe Flanigan and he was always rude and drunk. At a CreationCon one year they took away his bottle (he brought it on stage!) People pay a lot of money to get pictures with him and he always reeks of booze.

        While I enjoyed his performance in Justice League, I mean that movie was so horrible that his few comedic quips wound up being the best thing. However, Gal Gadot outshined him buy a mile and she actually shows up to conventions sober.

      • magnoliarose says:

        I had heard that he was a drunken mess so what you wrote confirms it. He’s not a nice guy so therefore I don’t find him all that hot.
        I have siblings, friends and a husband who are all about surfing, the beach and live to tackle the sea so I was inclined to like him but I can’t.

  7. Seraphina says:

    I will see it. Big fan of DC comics and justice league on Saturday mornings. That is how I grew up. That was what made Saturday’s so much fun.

  8. LooseSeal says:

    Isn’t that Patrick Wilson, not Josh Lucas?

  9. Benise Donahue says:

    I will continue to watch any POS the glorious Jason Momoa is in.

  10. Jamie42 says:

    I agree about the unnecessary backstory, which is ridiculous. The acting is indeed terrible. The CGI is intriguing, however, and I wonder if the OTT combination of bad acting, silly plot, and remarkable visuals might not make it a hit?

  11. CommentingBunny says:

    Those were the worst line readings. Ever.

  12. Jegede says:

    “I completely support Amber Heard as a woman who was abused, but God bless it, she can’t act for sh-t. She never could.” –

    LMAO.

    Unless they’re 15 minute appearances /glorified cameos, Amber is consistently the worst in her TV/movie appearances.

  13. Aquaman says:

    Actually is is really loyal to the comics books, there are scenes on the trailer that are really the same as the comic books ( they jumping out of the plane, they arriving in Atlantic)
    And the visual of the characters is pretty the same, straight from the comic books. Also the plot is based on the new 52 series, so if people are asking why aquaman has so much backstory it is because they never really new the character.

    • AmunetMaat says:

      Totally agree. I love the Avengers, but I grew up liking more DC than Marvel. DC is a darker more antsy world. This has nothing to do with Dead Pool or whatever popular Marvel property. Sometimes I get the feeling that the general public just doesn’t understand the thematic or tone differences between DC and Marvel and are always expecting to see the same type of stuff. Or the general audience only recognizes 70s Wonder Woman, or 80s Superman or 90s Batman so they don’t have a full breadth of what these worlds look like.

      • Aquaman says:

        It is incredible that people is bad mouthing the color of mera’s hair but it ecxatelly on point with the comics.
        Orm, aquaman brother, is so on point too. The fans of the comics, are pretty amazed by the accurency.
        People are pretty trashing amber heard but I actually like her in “ one more time” and “ adderall diaries” . But in a hero super movie in reality everyone goes for action extravaganza I don’t remember any movie (outside Batman with joker) that was Oscar material but there is a beef against DC so it just makes easy to bad mouth everything.
        I’m happy with other strong female character.
        Ps: Warner bros were disgusting for putting Johnny Depp and amber heard at the same event, at least the cast that was around her was supportive and they look they were having a good time.

  14. Lydia says:

    Jason is a bad actor but hot. Amber is a bad actress but hot. That’s why they are cast.

    • Rocio says:

      I’m eagerly waiting for the “good actor, not trad hot” Aquaman remake with Barry Keoghan and Olivia Colman.

  15. saltandpepper says:

    Nope.

  16. Jane says:

    The movie looks terrible.

    But if it can be released without any weirdness it should do fine.

  17. Bee says:

    The acting all seems so amateur. His hair may be glorious, but his acting makes Chris Hemsworth’s work as Thor look worthy of an Oscar.

  18. dota says:

    This trailer has made Scarlett Johansson seem eloquent and a good actress. What the hell. That was awful and has ensured I will not pay to see this movie. Now, they did this with the John Carter trailer where it was actually not a bad movie but the terrible trailer put people off of seeing it BUT all the speaking parts in the Aquaman trailer were just bad, wooden acting. It seems like they used the technique in music when they record it one word at a time and string it together to make a song, but that does not work for movies.

  19. harla says:

    god this movie looks cheesy and bad, can’t wait to see it!!

    • Snazzy says:

      hahah that’s what I thought too! It looks so bad I will hate watch it and love every minute of it. Probably not opening weekend though

  20. Neelyo says:

    Way too much Amber Heard. I have a feeling by opening, her part will be cut down to a few minutes.

    Kidman is totally collecting a paycheck and why not? She had to drop out of WONDER WOMAN due to BIG LITTLE LIES so here’s her chance to play a Superhero parent.

  21. Anne says:

    I think the trailer looks cartoonish and fun!

  22. Veronica S. says:

    Oh, you can tell it’s going to be ridiculous, but honestly? It looks like it actually has a sense of humor, which is seriously lacking from the DC-verse as of late. It may do just fine.

  23. TheOriginalMia says:

    It looks ridiculous. Heard is just as bad of an actor as Momoa. This movie has been finished for over a year. No reshoots that I’ve heard of, so why the delay? Because the best scenes were probably in the trailer.

  24. Reef says:

    I’m gonna watch it. Idgaf about plot when Jason Momoa is in a movie half naked for 90 minutes. Also, I’d be interested to see what Jason Wan does with a big budget superhero movie.

  25. JCZ says:

    Agree I don’t get it either , Neanderthal look . Clicked on to see if anyone else would think similarly .

  26. Grant says:

    He is super sexy, but he also has a tendency to look pretty grimy. I want to hit it, but I’d want to give him a thorough washing first.

  27. Teebee says:

    Everyone and everything wants to be Thor: Ragnarok… smart alec dialogue, brother against brother, stupid otherworldly hyperbolic messiness.

    Amber Heard could never ever ever act. She’s a cookie cutter beauty. Producers traded on her raised profile in casting her, doesn’t look like it will pay off.

    I despise comic universe movies. Their complete lack of imagination while using one of the most fantastic, enduring source materials out there is stupefying. CGI has ruined movie making.

    The only movie franchise I have dug seriously in the last 10years is John Wick. And that is because YOU KNOW Keanu is stunting the heck out of every scene, old school style.

  28. Deedee says:

    Wait, was that a giant torpedo emerging from the water? LOL I know people who will go to this movie no matter how bad it is.

  29. Vanessa says:

    That wig!!!!!!! How could they make it so awful???

    And when he say, “Permission to come aboard?” Wow that was the cheesiest line and delivery imaginable.

  30. Kiki says:

    DC comics. Luc Besson called ‘he wants his 2017 s*** film back’. Aquaman is a mess. BTW.. It is no surprise that Amber Heard can not act. Have seen her in the Danish Girl?

  31. Myrtle says:

    Can’t wait to see this. Hot hot hot. And I think Jason Momoa is a fine actor. I believe him in this role, totally, and ditto for his performance as Khal Drogo. His looks inevitably will limit his range, but that’s fine with me because, um, well, SO G+HOT

  32. TandemBikeEscapee says:

    I nearly wanted to watch this movie until cartoon hair barbie started talking. Ugh. Why? I resent Amber’s popping up EVERYWHERE.

  33. CairinaCat says:

    Yay! I will watch it a few times. I love me some Aquaman
    And BATTLE SHARKS

  34. Diane says:

    With the exception Amber Heard, I think this looks amazing.

  35. Vera says:

    This has the potential to be the Showgirls of the DCU, and I’m watching.

  36. Justmyopinion says:

    It’s the smile. He has such a gorgeous smile. I’m not even into men, and I’d so go for him.

  37. Smee says:

    Permission granted!

  38. Mel says:

    Yeah,yeah, dark, depressing movie but HE is FINE though. Just saying….

  39. OkieOpie says:

    Amber Heard cannot act. Seriously. She is TERRIBLE. She is drop dead gorgeous but how she gets hired for any acting gigs is beyond me. She delivers lines with the charisma of a plank of wood. She will wreck that movie.

    • LadyT says:

      Agreed. She’s positively dreadful. On the other hand I feel like Momoa is perfect for the part. He does have the charisma to carry it off. Doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously. The smile and the look in his eyes— he’s having fun being Aquaman and it’s kind of contagious.

  40. Lilly says:

    Permission granted. I may be in the herd, but I can’t help it, I’m into him… a lot.

  41. vespernite says:

    Aquaman was my favorite superhero has a kid, other than Wonder Woman, so I’m excited to see this film. I could barely stomach the Justice League film, because of Affleck. And I love Nicole Kidman!

  42. Enormous Coat says:

    My husband and I saw the trailer yesterday and my first comment was: good lord, Amber Heard cannot act.

    She’s wooden. I imagine it’s hard to act against her because she doesn’t give you much. It’s not a movie I would ever see anyway, but if an actor is that bad in a trailer? Yikes.

  43. Ophelia says:

    “WELCOME HOME” KING…

    What is this? Black Panther Lite?

    Did they choose Amber Heard because she’s Scarjo Lite?

  44. Sara says:

    I mean… it’s shirtless Jason Momoa with funny lighthearted dialog? I’ve totally missed him since his shirtless run on GOT. Who cares if the plot is deep or whatever. Sometimes you just need something entertaining.

    He was pretty funny in Justice League so I will totally watch this as soon as it comes out on HBO/Netflixes/whatever.

  45. Jessica says:

    Just going by the pictures I saw in EW, I thought this movie looked like a joke. And Jason Mamoa is frightening looking.

  46. Jenn says:

    Jason Momoa is good in his Netflix series “Frontier” . I haven’t seen him in anything else because I don’t usually like superhero movies. I feel like one of the only good ones was the Batman with Heath Ledger.

  47. em says:

    Looks fine to me. If you want Sheakspear go to the Old Vic. It’s a comic book movie why expect more than you would get from turning the pages of a comic ? CGI looks good , acting is blah but so what, don’t go if you don’t like the trailer. Simple.

  48. beer-n-crumpets says:

    I’m probably gonna see this in the theater and be super pissed off after the fact. Why do I do this shit to myself? Is cinematic masochism a Thing? If it is, I have it real bad.

  49. Tallia says:

    I’m just watching the movie for the articles.