Kelly Dodd of RHOC got a vampire facial: ‘No pain no gain’

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The things some women endure in the quest for eternal youth (or, more realistically, the illusion of eternal youth) truly baffle me. Just when I thought the foreskin facial was the ultimate in ridiculousness, here comes the vampire facial to say “Hold my beer.” The latest victim of this alarming-looking beauty trend is Real Housewives of Orange County’s Kelly Dodd.

Kelly, who is 42, voluntarily got one of these facials, back in January. (They also go by the less creepy moniker of microneedling. Side note: these facials aren’t really that new, Kim Kardashian promoted the treatment in 2013.) For whatever reason, Kelly decided to share her beauty secret with the world via People magazine this week, noting, “We’re all women and we need to share our secrets.” After seeing the posits, it’s a secret she could have kept to herself, because, eww.

She explained the procedure to the magazine, and I can’t paraphrase it, so here goes,

What they do is they draw blood and they take the plasma, they spin it, and they take the plasma out of your blood, so it’ll be like liquid gold basically. It’s supposed to put the collagen and all of the good stuff from your plasma of your blood and they needle it. They have this little needle, so they put the plasma in it.

When asked if the procedure hurt, she noted that the face is numb for the procedure, but added, “I mean, no pain, no gain, right?” (So I still have no idea if it hurts or not, not that I was planning on doing this anytime soon…or ever.) And, just like any other oversharing public figure, she took her Instagram followers along for every disgusting moment, touting the benefits of this “miracle” procedure.

She showed off a side-by-side before and after look, insisting that the procedure “DOES NOT HURT.” But “no pain, no gain,” right? I think the only pain with this is felt in the wallet. No thank you.

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15 Responses to “Kelly Dodd of RHOC got a vampire facial: ‘No pain no gain’”

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  1. maggiegrace says:

    These women are gross AF.

  2. OriginalLala says:

    eh, I care less about this than all the other stupid facials like those that that use bee venom (and kills them)

  3. TassieGirl says:

    I’m looking forward to seeing the day when women age with grace and ease and see the lines on their face as badges of honour.

  4. Naptime says:

    Doesn’t hurt and did wonderful things for my skin. Just not sure why these Hollywood “vampire” facials involve actual red blood. Plasma is yellow, and I barely bled from the microneedling. I looked NOTHING like this.

  5. LeaTheFrench says:

    For the love of God. That’s all I’ve got.
    And can we please stop with the ridiculous “no pain no gain” narrative? It has made women miserable for too long, hasn’t it?

  6. Beth says:

    Yuck! I’ll stick to my at home, painfree, Neutrogena facials. Why do they think because something is painful, it’s better?

  7. Amanda says:

    Why all the hatred? If it makes her feel her best, then more power to her.

    • ChillyWilly says:

      I don’t care what she does to her face. What bugs me is she is obviously getting paid to post this video. It is a mini infomercial but there is no disclaimer that it is a paid testimonial. What happened to the #Ad rule for paid Instagram posts?

  8. Stumpycorgi says:

    Guys, it’s simple. They take out the bloodiest, most golden, part of your blood, which may promote cell turnover inside your body, in some way, at some point, in conjunction with the peasant parts of your blood. Smear it on the outside of your body, and it acts the same way it may work inside your body when it’s still just regular low-rent blood! I mean, I think I learned the scientific method around age 12, and I see no problem with it. Give yourself a Bathory!

    Now I have an idea for the ultimate facial!! The sun makes plants grow, so I’m going to expose my face to it as much as possible!! Also, fertilizer. Science!!

  9. kgeo says:

    I don’t know about the PRP part, but I’ve had microneedling done twice. It’s VERY effective, and you can top it with mineral makeup and go about your business. It doesn’t require maintenance in the way botox or fillers would. I mean, you’ll still age again, but at the same rate you would have anyway. It’s not like the process is reversed with time. I had a lot of sun damage from several years of field work, enlarged pores, wrinkles, brown spots, etc. (It’s a hazard of being a geo-type) I’m only 35, so it was worth it to me to find something, and microneedling is a very low key miracle. I would recommend it to anyone.

  10. Pandy says:

    I love any promise of great skin now that I’m mud 50s. Dying to try it!!

  11. raincoaster says:

    42 is awfully young to be going so hard for the needles, Kelly.