Michelle Williams reveals that she quietly eloped with a indie singer/widower

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Michelle Williams covers the latest issue of Vanity Fair. In the olden days of VF, I would have expected the cover lines to be much more revealing of just what she’s discussing, namely the nitty-gritty of pay inequality AND the fact that she quietly eloped and didn’t tell anyone until Vanity Fair came along. But under VF’s new stewardship, everything feels very… low-key. Substantial, vaguely hipster, intellectual, non-exploitative, etc. It sort of lulls you into thinking you’re about to read a dull profile and you’re happily surprised that Michelle actually gossips a bit and spills some details about her life. You can read the full VF profile here. Some highlights:

On how she received 1% of what Mark Wahlberg made for the ‘All the Money in the World’ reshoots, following Kevin Spacey’s removal from the film: “It wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask for money for the re-shoots. I just wanted to do the right thing on his behalf,” says Williams, referring to Anthony Rapp. Upon learning about the difference in paychecks, “You feel totally devalued. But that also chimes in with pretty much every other experience you’ve had in your workplace, so you just learn to swallow it. A private humiliation became a public turning point.”

On the chill in a hotel room: “I read somewhere that things are kept cold for men, because men prefer to be cooler while women prefer to be warmer,. Office buildings are kept colder for men.”

Why she signed on to a Marvel movie: “I always like to do things I haven’t done before—genres, parts. I like a challenge. And one of those challenges has been stepping into a bigger world. You know, if something like Venom works, it’s life-changing. I wanted to open myself to that possibility. Before this, I had a real fixation on… purity, but I’ve started to address that notion as I’ve gotten older, and as I talk to more women, and more women artists, and I think about my long-term future, I’ve started to adjust my thinking about…how to make a life, how to support a life.”

How the Wahlberg-pay story came out: “The teachable moment is that the story came out and no one cared. It didn’t go anywhere. It was like it never happened, which just confirmed to me there is no recourse.” After Jessica Chastain tweeted about it and everyone picked up on what happened, everything went crazy. “I’ve never really been at the center of something like that, of a news cycle like that—other than, you know, traumatic death. I was one woman by myself and I couldn’t do anything about it. But in the wolf pack—the phrase Abby Wambach uses—things are possible. And that’s really what it took: somebody who was at the head of the pack, Jessica Chastain, pulling me up with her, and then all these other women surrounding me, teaching me.”

She got married to singer-songwriter Phil Elverum: They met through a mutual friend, they got married in a secret ceremony in the Adirondacks, witnessed by only a handful of friends and their two daughters. Her new husband, an indie musician who records and performs under the name Mount Eerie (and, before that, the Microphones), also lost a partner in tragic circumstances while parenting a small child. His late wife, illustrator and musician Geneviève Castrée, was diagnosed with inoperable stage-4 pancreatic cancer in 2015, four months after the birth of their daughter.

On love: “I never gave up on love,” she later tells me, saying that she has spent the 10 years since Ledger’s death looking for the kind of “radical acceptance” she felt from him. “I always say to Matilda, ‘Your dad loved me before anybody thought I was talented, or pretty, or had nice clothes.’  Obviously I’ve never once in my life talked about a relationship but Phil isn’t anyone else. And that’s worth something. Ultimately the way he loves me is the way I want to live my life on the whole. I work to be free inside of the moment. I parent to let Matilda feel free to be herself, and I am finally loved by someone who makes me feel free.”

Why she speaks about all of this: “I don’t really want to talk about any of it. But there’s that tease, that lure, that’s like, What if this helps somebody? What if somebody who has always journeyed in this way, who has struggled as much as I struggled, and looked as much as I looked, finds something that helps them?” In the end, she says, what she’s learned is simple: “Don’t settle. Don’t settle for something that feels like a prison, or is hard, or hurts you. If it doesn’t feel like love, it’s not love.”

[From Vanity Fair]

There have been moments where I rolled my eyes at Michelle, whether it was her girlish-widow vibe or her Civil War Ghost style, but you know what? I was really feeling her throughout this whole piece. I think it helps that she had something else to talk about rather talking around the subject of Heath Ledger. She’s in love, she’s married, she’s figuring out that she can’t just do an endless stream of low-budget indie films (which few people see). She’s figuring out how to better negotiate and fight for herself. I like how she describes her reasoning for signing on to Venom too – “I think about my long-term future, I’ve started to adjust my thinking about…how to make a life, how to support a life,” aka she just realized that she needed to start putting away some money for her future and Matilda’s future.

As for the surprise wedding… I think it’s great. I think it’s great that she got to announce it on her own terms. I think it’s interesting that her husband is someone who experienced profound loss and someone who experienced that loss through the prism of parenthood. It sounds like they have a lot in common. And I honestly didn’t even know she was seeing anyone.

Photos and cover courtesy of Vanity Fair.

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105 Responses to “Michelle Williams reveals that she quietly eloped with a indie singer/widower”

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  1. TassieGirl says:

    As an Aussie, I was devo’d when Ledger passed away.

    Williams + Ledger always seemed like such a good match. It would have been hard to find a bloke that surpassed Ledger.

    Best wishes to the lovely Michelle. She is a class act <3

    • Lozface says:

      I couldn’t agree more. Loved him so much and was devastated when he passed. The scene of his friends and family at the beach following his funeral sent me over the edge.

      I’m a fellow Australian – from Tassie too!! I was lucky to sit behind him at a (field) Hockey game in Perth once. He was just so beautiful.

      I hope Michelle finds peace and happiness.

      • TassieGirl says:

        Another Tassie person – thats so cool Lozface!

      • Lozface says:

        So cool… I thought I may be the only one on here. I live in Melbourne now, but will always be Tasmanian. You can take the girl out of Tassie, but not the Tassie out of the girl 😉

    • magnoliarose says:

      Not an Aussie but I agree. His passing was very sad.

    • Carrie1 says:

      I’m happy for her and for her new husband. It’s rare to find someone on the same page, chapter and in the same book after devastating life trauma. She’s smart too. This is good news.

    • AnnaKist says:

      Another Aussie here! Heath Ledger truly was a lovely bloke with such talent that the film/acting world had only scratched the surface of. What a loss, especially for his daughter. Michelle Williams has conducted herself with such dignity, and it’s really happy news to hear of her marriage. Good luck to the new family.

      • Lozface says:

        So true. She really has conducted herself beautifully and done a wonderful job with their gorgeous daughter.

        I remember falling for Heath when he played Snowy, the gay cyclist on the ABC show, Sweat! Such a funny show… even though it wasn’t meant to be! Loved it. Martin Henderson was on it too.

    • SympathyRage says:

      The shock is still distressing. I wouldn’t even consider myself a big fan (not that I disliked him – Gorgeous, charming, kind, talented!), but when I read of his death I genuinely couldn’t accept it for a few minutes. A line from the beginning of A Knight’s Tale kept running through my head: “No, he sleeps; Rouse him.” I couldn’t accept it. It still makes me feel sick. It is too shocking. The loss is like a vacuum.

  2. boredblond says:

    This is proof that celebs can keep their private life private if they want to, and I wish her luck…(she’d need a sweater in my house..I’m one woman who likes the cool)

    • Lee says:

      This is proof that celebs can keep their private life private if they want to,

      Amen to that!

    • Guest says:

      I know what she’s saying about the cool vs hot….men wear undershirts, shirts, and jackets as their basic wear. Women wear short sleeves in light materials and an undergarment. I’ve noticed since I was a little girl and always wondered why the men were so overdressed….now, as a grown up (kind of) I realize she’s right, in general. Hotel rooms and offices are kept cooler. One office I go to for work a woman dresses for the weather (heat wave) but has a space heater going at work…even in the summer!!!

      • Myriam says:

        “One office I go to for work a woman dresses for the weather (heat wave) but has a space heater going at work…even in the summer!!!”

        That’s me. Our building is so cold. Everyone, mainly the women, complains and most, if not all, of us women have space heaters in our office. WE’RE IN MIAMI!!! This building is never more than 65 degrees. A coworker of mine was so upset that she left her sweater at home, even though she has a heater. That’s how cold it is! I take the precaution of keeping a sweater and a throw blanket in my office. It’s ridiculous.

        I did read something years ago, in the heydays of Mad Men, how the office formula was devised for men, and now I see it.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Yeah right? They choose to be papped and seen. They don’t have to be if they don’t want to be.

    • Kath says:

      Meh. Men have to wear suits in professional settings, while women get away with wearing sleeveless dresses. To be honest, as someone who also feels the heat, I tend to roll my eyes at women who CHOOSE to go to the office with bare legs, open shoes and flimsy outfits and then complain about how “cold” they are.

      • PPP says:

        @Kath– so what, we’re supposed to get to the offices a sweaty mess? I see men with sweat stains all the time in the summer. That would not be acceptable for professional women.

      • Kath says:

        No, I just mean women have the option on putting on a jacket etc. or going sleeveless. It’s the one advantage women have in a professional setting. Men have to wear long-sleeves shirts buttoned to the neck, with a tie. Hence the sweat stains. I used to work in the financial district and you would always see these poor overheated bastards on the train… in 40+ degrees C.

        I think it’s fair enough that the default setting for an office environment is cooler rather than hotter… it gives you a lot more options.

  3. TheHufflepuffLizLemon says:

    ❤️ I’m thrilled for her, and I LOVE what she says about the wolf pack. This is why women communicating experiences is so vital. Because they want us isolated and alone so we’re weak.

    I kicked off multiple meetings last week with a segment on sexual harassment and my dedication to making it stop. It’s an intense section, and it inevitably makes men uncomfortable. I swear, in every one, I had a straight white guy make a job about how another bro was harassing him. It gave me a chance to point out that it was easy to make the joke when you were unlikely to experience the harassment. But still.

    • Rescue Cat says:

      If those guys worked for Netflix they’d be fired.

      • TheHufflepuffLizLemon says:

        They work for me, I work for a company that has come a long way but still struggles in accountability around harassment. I had an employee repeatedly asked for nudes by our IT guy and when she reported him, they just moved him. Termination at the front line level, even for documented harassment, is very difficult. I’ve seen it happen-someone grabbed my breast at a company function and was gone in a day-but I also had clout and had a boss with clout who backed me, AND it was the third time he had been accused AND I had an unimpeachable witness. I have plenty of clout now and can make harassment stop, but getting a termination done on a “first” offense is still difficult.
        Also, the guys making the jokes have never, to my knowledge, made any other moves in this direction so I am treating it as an education opportunity, addressing it both in the group and 1×1, and moving on. Hopefully my trust is not misplaced.

      • Junius94 says:

        @Rescue Cat What does Netflix have anything to do with it? Those kinds of guys are everywhere and to think this company is the exception is foolish. As a former employee of Netflix who left due to mistreatment from my racist and sexist manager (who did NOT suffer any consequence to his career after I reported to HR), I can personally attest to this.

        Someone’s drunk the Kool-Aid much, eh?

    • Susanne says:

      Thanks for fighting the good fight. I appreciate your thoughtful comments.

  4. Mellie says:

    I love her and it’s just another example of a VERY famous person who doesn’t seem to have any problem keeping her personal life just that, her personal life. I’m happy for her!

  5. Escondista says:

    I love her.

    Best wishes to that family. They deserve so much joy.

  6. Ramona Q. says:

    I think she’s right about buildings’ temperatures being kept colder for men. But I think it’s because men wear more clothes, so they get hotter more easily. They do not wear open-toed shoes or have bare arms and legs. If women dressed in suits we would probably prefer a cooler building, too. My brother works in a law firm where some of the women have space heaters in their offices to counteract the summer air conditioner.

    • Amanda says:

      My husband always says to me “you can add more layers if it’s cold for you, but I can’t walk around in less than shorts and a t-shirt when it’s warm out.” Now that I am nine months pregnant in Florida in the summer, I can totally see where he’s coming from! Bring on the cooler air lol

    • Esmom says:

      Yeah, I used to keep sweaters and scarves in my office to counter the cold air in the summer. Other women had fleece jackets and Uggs. And I was just at a hotel that was so freezing I would periodically run outside between meetings to warm up even though I was wearing a cardigan. I cannot imagine the added energy it takes to keep such massive buildings so cold.

    • Guest says:

      Oh, sorry Ramona, I hadn’t read your post yet before I posted up-thread. I so agree! I’m one who prefers the cooler air also

    • Veronica S. says:

      Men also generally have more muscle tone and overall mass, which leads to more calorie burning and heat generation. (Works the same way for fat/thin people – the more of you, the more energy it takes to move and vice versa.) I don’t have a problem with the temperature not being perfect (I hate hot hair myself), but the original calculations are based around an average weight man from the 50-60s and they should be updated to reflect a more diverse workplace. To me, it’s more of an issue in terms of how it highlights the outdated idea of a male-dominated workplace. Minor, but still a symptom of a larger issue of gender roles in society.

    • another kate says:

      Sign me up as a woman who loves her AC. It’s hard to get it too cool for me. I keep a cardigan at work because my arms do get cold quickly if I’m wearing short sleeves, but I don’t mind putting it on at all. The air also just feels fresher in our old office building when the AC is on.

    • Dazed and confused says:

      I agree, in a formal office setting, men often wear more. But I think they just run hotter as well. I teach 8th graders and the boys wear basketball shorts all year long. Including January when the high is going to be 8 degrees. The male teachers are also always warm. They are not in full suits, usually they are just in a polo style shirt and khakis or something in that vein.

      I always joke that the cooler temperature in our building keeps the “middle school fragrance” to a minimum. I will happily wear a sweater if it means that I am not in a room with sweaty teenagers all day!!

  7. Original T.C. says:

    This is the first interview where she sounds like a down to earth touchable human IMO. Not that others were bad but the came across as though she was an ethereal being far removed from human existence, a ghost of sorts that can easily float away. I am happy for her and her daughter to have formed a new family.

    P.S. Mika from Morning Joe is going to be part of the new Vanity Fair.

    • Neelyo says:

      Uh oh what do you mean about Mika? Not in any sort of editorial capacity, right???

      • Original T.C. says:

        Oops! Sorry I made a mistake. I’m spreading fake news!!!! (Hits head on desk)

        It’s Cosmopolitan mag that she is writing editorials for.
        She’s doing editorials on women based on her “knowing your value” White feminism program that she has been doing on the side for some years. It was also for this cause that she befriended Ivanka thinking Ivanka was really going to promote women’s business interest. Until Ivanka bailed on her.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Not sure I support that. I find her endlessly annoying.

    • minx says:

      The way Mika constantly defers to her blowhard partner is irritating.

  8. Neelyo says:

    This is very cool. I like her work a lot and I’m glad she recognizes the need to do more mainstream work but I hope that doesn’t mean she’ll stop taking the artistic challenges she has in the past.

  9. Sash says:

    This was a great interview and she sounds genuinely content and finally at peace with life. I wish nothing but the best for her and Matilda.

    • smcollins says:

      Co-sign. I never thought she played the “grieving widow,” I believe she was genuinely devastated and a bit lost after Heath’s passing. I’m so glad she’s finally found the happiness she’s been searching for (aside from her happiness with Matilda, of course), and I wish her & her new family all the best.

      • Sash says:

        Oh, definitely. I never understood the “grieving widow” thing either- she once stated it had never occurred to her that she and Heath wouldn’t get back together eventually, she genuinely thought he would get his crap together and they would reconcile…and then he died. And her toddler lost her father. I mean, the loss and confusion and pain of that is palpable and completely understandable, as far as I’m concerned. She seemed to live in what-ifs and if-onlys for a long time over something she had no control over. I sympathize with her.

      • tracking says:

        +2 I remember her comment about seeing Heath every day in the face of her daughter and her love for hugging trees, so heartbreaking. They didn’t break up due to lack of love, but addiction.

      • Amelie says:

        I never understood the “grieving widow” thing either. She lost the father of her child who is the spitting image of her father. She basically had Heath’s face staring at her every day, it would be very difficult for anyone I think to get over the loss of your child’s father. No, they weren’t together when he died (mostly due to Heath’s drug use) but they had only separated a few months prior to his death, it’s not like they had been separated for years. I’m glad she’s found someone she can share her life with and who understands what she’s been through.

      • lucy2 says:

        Same here. I think she truly loved him, and they would have stayed together had he not started having issues. I never felt it was an act.
        I’m very happy she’s found love again. She seems like a decent person.

        As for what she’s saying about the Mark Wahlberg garbage, it pains me that someone with her talent and success was still just sucking it up and dealing with the expected inequality. But I’m really glad this was a wake up call for her, and hopefully she’s now part of the team of women helping each other.

      • Pamela says:

        I never knew that fact started below, about her saying she always assumed they would get back together one day, when he was sober (presumably)

        That is so sad.

        Also, when dealing with addicts, you have to go the route of tough love and cut them out of your life…to get them to decide to get clean.

        For him to have died during that? It must have left her with such guilt. Not that it was in ANY way her fault…but I can’t imagine having someone I love die during a time that we aren’t “on good terms”. Heartbreaking.

      • teacakes says:

        Seconded on the ‘grieving widow’ thing, people here used to call her the ‘Widow Ledger’ and imply a lot of negative things every time she talked about Heath (which she only did when asked, and as they had a child together, it wasn’t exactly a secret they were a couple). I just found it cruel and uncomfortable to read.

        I’m really happy that she’s found love again, and the bit where she talks about telling Matilda that Heath loved her before anyone thought she was pretty or talented or stylish, had me tearing up a little. It might be hard to remember now, but Michelle pre-Brokeback Mountain was considered just another teen tv show actress, and going from the WB/CW to four-time Oscar nominee…..is not exactly a common career trajectory. And when she did Brokeback, she was barely a year out of playing the ‘bad girl’ on Dawson’s Creek. It’s pretty incredible, what she pulled off.

      • KB says:

        I thought they had been broken up for a year or something, but I just read it was only three months. It’s no wonder she was so devastated by it. He was the father of her child, I’m sure she thought they’d get back together. What a tragedy.

        She can seem a little twee to me, but I think a lot of that is just how she looks physically. Like the physical embodiment of Tinkerbell or something.

    • Esmom says:

      Agreed. And I am here for that intensely retro Vanity Fair cover. It’s stunning, imo.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Yes. The choice of shades (pink, brown, mint), highlighting, the way she’s appears to be separate from the background. It looks like something straight out of a 1950s magazine ad or cover.

      • magnoliarose says:

        I like it too. It stands out and freshens up the magazine.

  10. tracking says:

    I was so confused when I read this, thought there were rumors she was engaged to a doctor(?) just last year. Am I making that up? Anyway, I’m happy for her and her little girl.

    • Mia4s says:

      I recall that too (but wasn’t it a banker?). My guess is the tabloids had the engagement story right, but wrong fiancé.

      Make that money Michelle. Make that money but keep living as far away from Hollywood as possible.

      • tracking says:

        Banker, that’s right. Pretty sure she was vacationing with him, so looks like this relationship happened quickly.

      • Mumbles says:

        I remember seeing those photos of her vacationing with some older hedge fund guy and I thought, ick.
        I am very glad she has found happiness with her new husband, who seems to have been beaten up a lot on the grief/heartbreak fromt as well. Tragic that his wife died of an aggressive cancer in her 30s, leaving a toddler without a mama. Looks like he, Michelle, his daughter and Matilda are a team now and I’m rooting for them.

    • Millenial says:

      I also thought she was dating someone else when this story came out. But who knows. By 38, it’s usually clear pretty early on in a relationship whether it’s going to work. I’m happy for her and for their families.

    • perplexed says:

      I thought she was engaged to a 50 year old billionaire.

      Imagine my surprise when I read this story.

    • magnoliarose says:

      It could have been a smokescreen or it could have been a lapse in their relationship and she dated other people. Or it could have been she was dating around and hadn’t decided on him yet. Lots of possibilities.

    • Karen says:

      The Fail had photos of Michelle, Matilda and that banker guy on vacation together as recently as January this year. She also wore a big diamond which looked a lot like an engagement ring.

      I wish Michelle nothing but the best, but it’s odd to introduce different men to your kid within such a short space of time. She should be free to go out on dates, but she is getting seriously involved with these different men and she obviously makes them a big part of her daughter’s life.

      When I was 12, I certainly wouldn’t have appreciated my mother being engaged to someone in January, and then by summer be married to someone completely different and make him my new stepdad.

      • tracking says:

        It does seem awfully fast. I personally think it’s a mistake to marry while you’re still in the initial throes, but fingers crossed for them and the two girls that it all goes well.

  11. Queenb says:

    I dont think the Wahlberg story is really about equal pay. Its about Mark Wahlberg being a horrible person that cashed in on people doing the morally right thing. It is good she wasnt paid a lot for that and it was bad that Mark exploited that.
    I’d be happy if people knew it wasnt me who wanted a big payday based on Spacey violating other men.

    • Esmom says:

      I think it was a bit of both and that one situation led to a larger discussion. Wahlberg was definitely a greedy, opportunistic jerk but the pay disparity is still real.

    • Veronica S. says:

      I definitely think Williams did the more ethical thing, but it was incredibly exploitative for everybody involved in that film to let her do those reshoots knowing damn well her coworker was getting paid so significantly. That’s where I think the problem becomes systemic.

    • KB says:

      It could also be about his agent’s aggressive negotiation when he saw an opportunity to cash in. Was Michelle’s agent more passive about it? Could the agent of an actress even be aggressive in that situation without getting their client labeled difficult? Did Mark have a stipulation in his contract about pay for reshoots? Did Michelle? Did she waive it or was she advised to waive it?

      There could be a lot more at play than just Marky Mark being an asshole – which he absolutely is, of course. I’m glad he was shamed into donating it to Times Up, and it makes me happy to know how much that probably annoyed him.

      • VirgiliaCoriolanus says:

        I agree with the OP….from what I’ve read from a few interviews/articles from a few sources, EVERYONE went back and did the reshoots for the bare minimum pay. Everyone except Marky Mark.

        and IMO I think it’s going to affect his career. He’s been an asshole his entire life, but he apparently picks good enough projects that make money and has a good agent. But I’ve never read before that he held a film hostage so he could get paid millions more.

        And the story got out. I hope it tanks his career.

      • Kath says:

        They had the SAME agent. That was what was so revolting.

  12. Lucy says:

    Yay Michelle!!!

  13. Veronica S. says:

    The part about her getting over herself is my favorite. We all want to do ~the art~ but really, bitches gotta eat. Get that money, too.

    • YeahRight says:

      What kind of poetry?

    • magnoliarose says:

      Truth. In sexist Hollywood she knows it only gets harder so she may as well think of her retirement fund and Matilda. I don’t think Heath had time to really build up a nice nest egg for Matilda’s future.

  14. Arpeggi says:

    All I’m going to say is that Mount Eerie is really awesome and Death Is Real is one of the saddest song ever recorded. Good for both of them if they managed to find happiness again.

    • helen says:

      The last two Mt Eerie albums are the best new music that I’ve heard in a long time. Although describing the work like that seems to trivialize it. It’s good to hear they’ve found love in each other.

  15. manta says:

    Well, I’m one of those few people who actually see the indies she does. ,I became aware of her via Dick and Me Without you.
    Films like Land of Plenty, all the Reichardt flicks or Blue Valentine were really interesting choices and performances.
    Wasn’t she part of a succesful TV show for, what , 7 years? I assumed that was those mainstream teen dramas were for, secure the cash, the safety net to be able to pick interesting projects.
    Between the TV money, the Vuitton deal, Ledger money, is her daughter’s future really in jeopardy if she doesn’t sign for blockbusters?
    But hey, good for her if those gigs pan out.

    • Alix says:

      According to Celebrity Net Worth, Michelle’s worth about $16 million. No need to clip coupons here.

      • lavi says:

        This is what she amassed so far but you forget that she has to pay: agent, manager, lawyer for every job that she gets. And that can simply go up to 35% and another maybe 35% in income taxes. There is a lot to pay out. Meaning she has 1/3 of that money. For a woman like her who doesn’t like to splash out on crazy lifestyles like most actors do, I’m sure she’ll be fine.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Actually, a celeb needs to make around 10 million to be set for life and even then it doesn’t mean a relatively lavish lifestyle. Just think how a serious health scare can put someone back several hundred thousand dollars?
      Michelle should earn what she believes she is worth. Dawson’s Creek wasn’t on a major network and teen shows don’t pay Friends level money so she probably didn’t make enough to live on for life.

      • manta says:

        What does set for life exactly mean? That she must earn enough money that her spawn never works a day in her life?
        Sorry, I stand by my initial comment.
        A steadily employed actress ( for almost a quarter of a century) with exposure, a not so lavish lifestyle, some real estate, money from luxury brand doesn’t endanger her child’s future if she doesn’t sign for Marvel.
        And I don’t believe for a second that ” she just realized she needed to START putting away some money for her daughter” .The child is 12.
        Pretty sure the thought struck her before yesterday.

    • KB says:

      I think her explanation is probably just an excuse. Marvel movies provide exposure, fame, a huge press tour, and a decent paycheck with a rating of at least 75% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.

      If it’s okay for Cate Blanchett, it’s going to be okay for a lot of actresses. They get to be in huge blockbusters without sacrificing too much integrity.

  16. Case says:

    I’m so happy for her and her daughter. It was clear how much she (understandably) struggled in the years after Heath’s death. Thrilled to hear she has found love again, and with someone who can relate to the pain of losing your love.

  17. Case says:

    I have a few objections to the “AC is kept on for the men” thing.

    1) Most men in my life are the ones complaining they’re cold and the women are the hot ones. I think it has to do with your weight, your health, your age (I have women in my family in menopause who are miserably hot most of the time).
    2) In offices with a dress code, men wear much warmer clothes than women by default, so I think it’s actually fair to accommodate them. We can add layers if we’re cold — if they’re expected to wear a suit and tie all day, they can’t escape that.

    • Darla says:

      Yes. When I was younger I was always freezing, and I had a space heater underneath my desk that I kept on all the time, even in the summer, because of the air conditioning. Since menopause, and I’ve had a tough one, I can’t be too cold. And I feel for other people because I have been the freezing one. But my body is like a furnace now and it is what it is.

    • Veronica S. says:

      If it’s business professional, the women are expected to dress at the same level – which means a pants or skirt suit and stockings. Not that big a difference. I don’t ususally have much argument about it because, sure, you can layer up. But on the other, I worked at a hospital where thermostat battles were legit because the men – who were actually outnumbered 3 to 1 by the women in this pharmacy – kept turning it down WAY too low despite the majority voting against it (and I say that as somebody who loves the cold).

      So yes, I don’t mind considering male biological differences, but I expect them to do the same if they’re the minority.

  18. Kaiser says:

    I love that so many people are discussing the “buildings are kept cold for men” section of the interview, that’s why I included it in the excerpts. I actually think there’s enough anecdotal information that there are plenty of women who like cold spaces too, and I’m one of them. I prefer to work and live in a cold house/office.

    • notasugarhere says:

      Same but for years worked in an old building with wonky heat and AC. Thermostats were locked down and central maintenance (housed in a different building blocks away) controlled them. We were either broiling or freezing alternately no matter our genders, sometimes based on time of year other times based on where you were located in the building. Everyone learned to keep a sweater and a desk fan in their cube year round.

      • VirgiliaCoriolanus says:

        My college buildings were REALLY old–built in the early 1900s and not updated all that much since then. There was no thermostat….they had the heat in the basement, and it was either on or off. So even in the winter, you literally had to walk around inside in a tshirt and jeans/shorts, because otherwise you’d sweat like you were in Texas. And there was nothing they could do. they just turned it off every few hours/on every few hours…..

    • minx says:

      I get extremely cranky if I’m in a too-warm office or house. I can’t stand it. I would rather layer to warm up than be sweating and miserable, no question.

      • magnoliarose says:

        I hate being hot indoors. I like the windows open for air or AC at 70. Like you I become irritable and snappy if I am hot.

      • KB says:

        Me too. I love the AC. I don’t necessarily run hot, but I don’t have an intolerance to cold like I do heat. Jacuzzis, steam rooms, saunas, etc are my nightmare, but I can walk around downtown Chicago in the dead of winter with a smile on my face. I live in Houston, so not a lot of time outside for me lately.

      • notasugarhere says:

        This is why my best summer purchase a few years ago was the window fan in the bedroom. Sucks hot air out in the day time, brings in chilly fresh air in the middle of the night. Beats air conditioning for me.

      • magnoliarose says:

        I prefer fresh air too but NYC in the summer is just nasty hot but nothing and I mean nothing in the US compares to Florida. For me at least. If I visit my grandparents when they are down there I get off the plane and want to weep. They aren’t even there in the summer but it can be 80 degrees in December! Florida should just shut down in July. Just let the people migrate for a month or two.
        Wait though there is Arizona in the summer. It is like living in a freaking oven.
        There are hotter places on the globe of course but those two stand out for me.

      • KB says:

        I always thought the worst was getting off a plane in Houston and feeling that humidity hit you even inside the airport until I walked out of the airport in Phoenix in August. I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks. Arrested Development has a funny gag where Jason Bateman grabs the handle of a taxi door as the cab driver yells “Don’t touch the handle!” and he burns the shit out of his hand.

    • The Other Katherine says:

      BRING ALL YOUR COLD AIR TO ME. I am perimenopausal, but I have ALWAYS liked a cold room. So no one should turn up the thermostat for gender parity reasons on my account, just sayin’.

    • Kath says:

      The thing is, if you are too cold, you can always put on more clothes. When you’re too hot, there are only so many layers you can remove.

      I was once on an international flight where some little flibbertigibbet who was half-dressed kept asking the flight attendants to turn the heat up. So the rest of us were trapped in an claustrophobic airless metal tube at 40,000 ft for 12 hours where the temperature was around 28 degrees C+ at 1am.

      It was sheer hell.

      I also have zero tolerance for the women who come to work in the flimsiest outfits and then complain about the cold. I get migraines if the heating is cranked up too high, and – sorry – but stripping down to a t-shirt is the most I can do.

      PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON and stop dressing to look ‘cute’ in office in the middle of winter, then complaining that you’re cold. And bringing in personal heaters just exacerbates the problem, because it messes up the office A/C thermometers so that more cold air is pumped out to compensate.

      Grrrr. Yes, I have thought a lot about this issue….

      I actually have sympathy for men who have to wear ties and heavy suits, so having keeping offices cooler is not the work of the evil patriarchy, but is something I wholeheartedly agree with!

  19. mx says:

    I am SOOOO happy for them!!! I’m from the same area as Phil and we have many mutual friends and I’m so thrilled for his daughter to get such a great stepmom! PS – NO ONE KNEW they were dating except for their very very closest and it was fast.

  20. Sadezilla says:

    I found this interview so charming. I’m generally a Michelle fan, but she said some worthwhile things here and sounds appealingly aware of her growth areas. I also love people who have a calm presence and she seems like she has one.

  21. Steph says:

    Um, hello! She was proposed to by another dude in January (Wall Street financier) of this year. This relationship and marriage happened REALLY quick.

    • KB says:

      At 38 and 40, that can happen. I’m more of the “why rush it?” type, but she never jumped in to marriage before and he hadn’t remarried since his wife died, so something seems to have clicked for them.

  22. Neelyo says:

    I hope she does more comedies. Because she’s so good at drama people forget she’s a great comedic actress. She’s great in DICK, THE BAXTER and she’s the only one who got good reviews for that Amy Schumer movie, I FEEL PRETTY.

  23. Tallia says:

    I like her. I have always have and she has always held herself with incredible aplomb and class. I wish her every happiness.

  24. girl_ninja says:

    I’m happy for her, I found I was uncomfortable with her being presented as Heath’s widow. They weren’t even together at the time of his death. Yes they were raising their daughter, but they were not a couple.

  25. Star says:

    Is anyone else completely shocked that she just married PHIL ELVERUM? I had no idea they were even together. Wow.

    • Grey says:

      I am! I am obsessed with Phil Elverum and my goal is to work with him on a song someday.

  26. Dutch says:

    How exactly is it construed that she eloped because..
    a) She’s a grown-ass woman and doesn’t need parental consent.
    b) It said friends and family members attended the ceremony, so it wasn’t a “secret.”
    Come on here, let’s call it what it was: low-key, intimate wedding.