Jennifer Lopez seems like she’s a great mom. Her ten-year-old twins Max and Emme always look happy and I have a strong suspicion that Alex Rodriguez’s kids, Ella and Natasha, have never yelled “You’re not my real mother!” at her. So, if she has tips about raising kids, I’d guess she’s an adequate source of information.
When Jennifer was at the Music Choice studios last week in those puzzling, yet fascinating “joots,” she was asked if she had any advice for the co-star of her “Dinero” video, Cardi B. She demurred and said that the advice she’d give to any mother is “not give advice to new moms ― because nobody likes it.” She went on to say that she was besieged with unsolicited advice when she was expecting and said, “I’m like, please just stop telling me all these things. I kind of want to figure it out on my own. I know I’m not going to be perfect but let me just do [my thing].”
She recalled that when “preggie” Cardi was on set, Jennifer just made sure she was comfortable and hydrated, asking her things like “Are you good?” and “Do you want to sit down?” She added that all new moms just need “pampering,” instructing everyone to “take care of them.”
I’m not a mom, but I love that Jennifer said this. I can’t imagine getting advice from people who know nothing about me or my life. Well-played, Jennifer. As for Cardi, she’s currently experiencing the trials and tribulations of first-time mommy-ing. In a video posted to Instagram, she hilariously shared her reflections on her new life with daughter Kulture, confessing, “I’ve met my match…I can’t believe I have a boss.” She also (over) shared that, “My ass is broken…this baby broke my ass.” It sounds like she might be asking Jennifer for advice soon.
Photos: WENN, Getty, YouTube/VEVO
Great and oh so refreshing advice.
Omg, and Cardi’s video was so good too. I didn’t think it was an overshare about her “broken a$$”, she didn’t go into detail thank goodness, and I’ve never had a baby, so I have no idea! But I think that what she is saying is like the first time I ever heard anyone be publicly honest about how hard it is to do stuff, how she wants to just be with her baby, how her body is sore and tired even six weeks later, and that she was feeling just different and not herself, even mentioning post partum (hopefully she speaks to her doc about that). I think this video will help a lot of first time moms. I just LOVE her, she seems so down to earth.
first Jlo article I’ve liked. but what she says is absolutely true…we know the advice comes from a good place but please, let us figure it out on our own. we’ll make mistakes and have successes but if we need help, we’ll ask
I didn’t feel like “I’ll figure it out on my own,” it all just felt bewildering and I was a lamb. Pamper the new mother does seem like great advice, though. Bust magazine had a great article about how to help your new mother friends in the issue with Erykah Badu on the cover.
For the record, the piece of advice that turned out to be right for us (and that consequently stuck) was to put the baby to bed in his own crib from day one. But who knows – a quarter of the parents I know ended up bringing their baby to bed with the:in desperation!
Betsy…then there is all of us bringing them (him/her/they) into bed in the first place and not out of desperation..like whatsoever! Each to their own though 🙂
GEMCAT, same!!! Best snuggles ever. I also room/ bed shared for the first year for both my babies and wouldn’t have it any other way.
I must be the expection because I wanted all the tips and secrets when I was pregnant!! I got some great advice and a few tips that were life changing great. When I’m out and someone says anything, but honestly nobody does often, I just say ‘thanks I’ll try it soon’ and walk away. Not a big deal to me. I know others get so annoyed. Lol Everyone is different.
I really liked the advice as well, but I think it’s all in the delivery. I most appreciated when people presented the advice as one possible solution/trick/something that was useful to them. It also has to be in context and not part of a lecture or brag. My mantra has always been that I’m more than willing to steal every bit of wisdom from as many women as possible. And if I’m asked for advice now, I always present it in a way that makes clear that it’s something that was helpful (usually for one of my kids but not necessarily the others) but that every mom and every kid is different.
True that! I spent my whole life preventing pregnancy, if it wasn’t for advice our son would be the kid in the Jungle book
that song/video is a freakin nitemare on numerous levels.
THANK YOU JLo. I Had a baby 4 weeks ago and I am sick with all the unsolicited avise. Like just stfu and bring me some juice or do the dishes for me lol
Congratulations! How wonderful. Good luck with your lovely new baby <3
I think it’s all in the delivery of the advice. if you are just sharing as a part of your own experience instead of coming down full force with advice on a new mom it might be taken better.
but the best thing to help a new mom is definitely bringing her food, cleaning the house and letting her take a shower in peace while you look after the baby.
I knew nothing about babies so I appreciated good and useful advice. Two things still stick out in my mind for their usefulness: 1) My Mom telling me not to tiptoe around the house when the baby was sleeping. Let her get used to hearing noise and sleeping through it or she’ll end up being a light sleeper. (My daughter — now in her 20s— can still sleep through anything.) 2) Instead is hitting her on her back to burp her, just rock her gently back and forth in a sitting position on my lap. Worked like a charm.
Advice I didn’t appreciate: “You really should cover your baby’s head.” Meh. Stuff like that I could have lived without.
Currently expecting my first and I’m all about advice on what I actually need, breastfeeding , since it’s something i really want to do, tips for how to transition going back to work, etc. But honestly the best advice I’ve heard so far is “Most parenting is like your favorite color. Everyone has a different opinion and likes what they like. As long as it works for you and mom and baby are happy and healthy, it doesn’t matter. You’ll figure out what you like.” Oh! And “After you deliver, when you are home in those first few next weeks, if anyone asks you if you need anything say YES! Whether it’s a cup of your favorite coffee, toilet paper, whatever. It will save you a trip during that time that you are so exhausted and adjusting. Take the help.”
Accept the help, that is roughly all the advice I’ll give. Slightly amended to, for that first year, every time you or your partner has the opportunity to take nap while holding the baby, do it. Dishes can wait. Email can wait. There is a magic that you can never recreate in that first year. Soak up every precious moment, it will balance out all that madness.
Aaargh, this just made me cry. I’m going back to work Thursday after a 4 month maternity leave and have been soaking up every second of baby snuggles and naps that I can. It really is magic. I have a 9 year old and I can’t believe he’s already that old. I feel like he was a tiny baby not that long ago. I wish I had more time home with this little guy. There’s nothing in the world like holding a sleeping baby. Luckily my husband will be able to stay home with him until the baby is one. But it’s hard for me to go back 🙁
Breastfeeding: ignore anyone who tells you about nipple confusion and who tells you that the baby doesn’t need anything until your milk comes in (in other words – keep nursing first and then give some formula until your milk comes in!). Also if you can take a class or watch so,e videos, do. It may be natural, but it doesn’t come easily to all. It has a bit of skill.
Babies are literally developing brain damage because they aren’t getting sufficient water or nutrients. I had a NICU graduate who couldn’t get the suck coordinated and I had thrush ona Saturday night and my lactation consultant told us not to give formula. Bullocks to that, I think is the phrase – my husband went and got formula and our son didn’t end up with dehydration (and I nursed him for seven months, no formula, once he got the hang of it). Basically, nursing purity is a sucky idea.
Yes to all that! The breastfeeding community spreads it that there’s no way you can’t have enough milk, that you need to nurse on demand more but sometimes it’s just not enough! My LO wouldn’t stop crying and I had to give formula day one…why risk your baby starving!!
Omg you guys gave me chills w your posts. I realize we need to breast feed kids but OMG breastfeeding nazis are real and among us. Sometimes we need a little help and no it won’t kill your child, though starving your child will!!
I wish you a great experience! If things aren’t great: ask help and remember that everything usually only get better (but trust your gut when it’s telling you things are off).
Thank you! I still have 16 weeks left, but I’m so excited and anxious!
Kellymom.com is a great and trustworthy resource for reading up on breastfeeding. But if you can, absolutely get advice from a lactation consultant. There is so much misinformation about breastfeeding floating about, sadly also from midwives and doctors, and every Mum and baby are a unique dyad, there is no one-size-fits-all solution.
You’re right, there are many different shades of parenting. Other people’s opinions and experiences are just that, their own. For my part, I wish I paid no mind to people who tried to scare me with their experiences or warned me about “spoiling” my baby by carrying him, or letting him sleep in my arms, or nursing him to sleep, or any of the other warnings I got. I was making it difficult for myself and my baby by trying to force something that wasn’t us, until I just shrugged it off, got on with what felt natural, and never looked back.
Trust your instincts, follow your baby’s cues and you got this! Good luck and I hope everything works out just great!
Breastfeeding was the most difficult(and if I’m being honest) and worst experience of my life! LOL I read every book, blog, watched every video, got all the advice. Nothing prepares you for doing it because it isn’t natural and easy like it seems. My milk never came in with my first and he had to be admitted to the hospital for fluids and failure to thrive because he literally wasn’t getting any milk. Worst nightmare ever. The first time we gave him formula he inhaled it and I felt so damn guilty. Ugh. I know this isn’t everyone’s experience but it was mine and it was a nightmare. I would say, have formula on hand before birth, along with bottles and nursery water. Formula is the best invention in my humble opinion. A fed baby is the best baby!!!! Good luck to you!!
Also, I am not trying to scare anyone or be a ‘Debby downer’ but I think it’s important to share my experience. Loads of moms I have been in touch either have similar. Some people it is a very simple process. I hope that for any new mom!
I like J-Lo, she is consistent
I wish Cardi and her new baby the best, but I am not sure about naming your baby Kulture….. a bit self-serving or not considerate enough, but whatever it has nothing to do with parenting abilities
or does it? sending your child into the world with the name Kulture… hm…
anyway, so far she is loved by her mother and family, she is going to be okey and maybe proud of her “original” name?
Love love love JLo. Love how she just does her thing and lives her life. No excuses, no apologies.
Yes! Same here. So glad to have Corey, a JLO stan, covering the JLo articles!! And I so agree with her advice of not giving advice.
The best advice I got was from a nurse in the hospital! The Nazi nurse had just left after telling me I was doing everything wrong, and this shining ray of light walks in, and tells me to listen to everything everyone has to say, smile and nod and file it all away because at 3am when we’re both crying and haven’t slept in what feels like forever, there might be a little nugget of magic in all the shit thrown at you!
And she was right! Lol someone told me about the football hold for a cranky baby, and I thought that was awful, until it worked!