A week ago, Serena Williams suffered the worst scoreline loss of her career at the tournament in San Jose. It was her first match since losing to Angelique Kerber in the Wimbledon final. Serena was scheduled to play back-to-back in San Jose, Montreal and Cincinnati, but as soon as the Montreal draw came out last Friday, Serena pulled out. She cited “personal reasons,” which I thought was code for “why would I go to Montreal and play that terrible draw when I could just stay home with my baby?” Well, as it turns out, everything was more complicated than that. Serena posted this message to her social media yesterday:
Last week was not easy for me. Not only was I accepting some tough personal stuff, but I just was in a funk. Mostly, I felt like I was not a good mom.
I read several articles that said postpartum emotions can last up to 3 years if not dealt with. I like communication best. Talking things through with my mom, my sisters, my friends let me know that my feelings are totally normal.
It’s totally normal to feel like I’m not doing enough for my baby.
We have all been there. I work a lot, I train, and I’m trying to be the best athlete I can be.
However, that means although I have been with her every day of her life, I’m not around as much as I would like to be. Most of you moms deal with the same thing. Whether stay-at-home or working, finding that balance with kids is a true art. You are the true heroes.
I’m here to say: if you are having a rough day or week–it’s ok–I am, too!!! There’s always tomm!
Serena has been hailed, repeatedly, as an icon to working moms. Deservedly so – so many celebrity women will humble-brag about the easy time they had, whether it was losing the pregnancy weight or finding the work-life balance or what have you. Olympia is clearly Serena’s world. But her world is also tennis, and coming back to tennis has been a messy emotional journey, and she continues to lay it bare for us. These feelings she’s having are natural, but they’re not always discussed. Good for Serena.
They are always staring at me 😌 https://t.co/hdEjJAwamO pic.twitter.com/lsuHSwUDO5
— Olympia Ohanian (@OlympiaOhanian) July 24, 2018
Photos courtesy of WENN, social media.
You be you Serena and do what is best for you and your family.
She truly is the greatest of all time. End of story. I’m looking at you, John McEnroe.
She has nothing to prove to anybody. Really, none of us do. Good for her, for being so honest. She has seemed to happy and natural in her role as a Mother and she is one of the greatest athletes of all time. Admirable.
Good for her. Those postpartum emotions can be brutal. And being a working mom can suck. I cried the entire last month before I had to go back to work after my first. And my kids are teens now and yet I still cried a little last night because I have to leave then for a few days for work. I try to let other working moms know how hard it’s been for me so they don’t think they have to pretend everything is perfect.
I’m going back Thursday after 4 months off and can’t stop crying this week, even though I’m trying to enjoy every moment. I had 7 months with my first and it was easier, I think. Being a working mom is so hard. I love Serena and love that she’s sharing how she’s feeling about it. Somehow, hearing that she’s struggling too makes me feel a little better about being such a mess.
Glad she has caring support from family and friends. I hope she takes time off to figure out how to make her all these profound changes in her life work for her. I feel her aching to just give all her time to her daughter and not have to prepare for her next grueling match. Best wishes, Serena.
Yes, me too.
I remember the struggle so vividly when I went back to work full time after four months of maternity leave. When I was home, I felt guilty for not doing more at work while my teammates were working late many nights. When I was at work, I felt guilty for not being with my son. I was a wreck. Figuring out the balance can take quite a bit of time, and things are always changing.
Sending her — and all new moms — best wishes.
OMG, EsMom. That must have been heartbreaking. I get bleary eyed when I have to leave my 9-year old retriever dog as I walk out the door for work. She’s fine at home but always gives me a longing look.
Her honesty is so amazing. In her pre-Wimbledon interview she said that she ‘didn’t need to win’, that she’d ‘won enough’ already. And I wondered. Was she returning because *she* wanted to? Or because *everyone else* wanted her to?
I hope she figures that out and does what she feels is best for her and Olympia.
I mean, if she’d rather spend time with the new human she created, why not just do that and stop frickin’ fighting it? There are many feelings to fight. I’m just not sure I believe the desire to spend time with your baby is one of them. JMHO.
I was blessed with 3 months maternity leave and I was trapped in the Baby Bubble. He was my whole world. 3 weeks before my return to work I would just cry and preface every moment with, “this will be our last…” Gosh, I was a hot mess getting back into the swing of things. Being a working mom is hard. Finding that balance takes so much time. Finally after a year, I feel like I’m in a better place.
Post partum emotions, hormones and lack of sleep when your kids are little are a brutal combination. I admire her so much as an athlete, and wanting to come back even better than before, and I understand the desire to be with her baby all the time-but I don’t think that’s a realistic expectation. Something has got to give. It gets so much easier as your kids get older-but the first two years are rough.
Last week I read the man who killed her sister was released 3 years early(good behavior). I have never been a crime victim or had a family member murdered but I would think hearing he is out would bring up some emotions.
Ouch, I’m so late here. But, feel for her as I do for all women who are new mothers. There is so much pressure to get everything right and SO little support for any of it. In addition, a high-performing person like Serena probably feels she has to throw herself into motherhood as intensely as she has thrown herself into her career. The day and our energy have limits (regardless of wealth and status).
She’s so much more honest about this than, say, Ivanka Trump – who pretended to be supermom while telling us of her regimented and limited hours with her children. At least Serena actually worked for everything she got.
I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks with my kids and reading her last sentence made me burst into tears. Even though I know all mothers struggle, it’s so nice when someone openly comes out and says it. I’m a stay at home mum and am very isolated much of the time so reading even the simplest acknowledgement and the reminder it’s ok not to be perfect all the time makes me feel less alone.
I’m a stay at home mom too. It’s not without its challenges. You are definitely not alone. I wish more women would be open about the struggles instead of trying to project an image of insta perfect life all the time. This really hit me, if serena has a hard time with motherhood maybe it’s not so bad that I feel like I’m struggling.
There’s always tomorrow teared me up. I can’t think of how many times I’ve laid in bed at the end of a hard day and told myself that tomorrow is a new day and a chance to do it better.
I’m so glad she speaking out and doing what’s best for herself. My older sister just returned to work a little while ago after having her first baby and I know it was a rough adjustment. I think she’s doing incredible. Her son will grow up seeing how hard she works and how much she loves him. I know it’s hard for some days, but she’s an amazing mom and I know she’d say it’s so worth it. We grew up with a single working mom who was such a great example of strength, love and dedication. Way to go, moms!