Joe Alwyn doesn’t want to ‘offer up’ his relationship to ‘be picked apart’

75th Venice International Film Festival - 'The Favourite' - Premiere

You know what I miss? Taylor Swift + Tom Hiddleston = Tiddlebanging. I would settle for Tay + Jake Gyllenhaal or even Tay + Harry Styles. Those couples were such fun, dumb drama. Remember Tiddles on the beach as their first iconic moment? Remember how Taylor and Jake went apple-picking and pap strolled for the Us Weekly cover? Remember how Harry dumped Taylor on New Year’s because she said some sh-t? We might never have one of those moments again, because Joe Alwyn is determined to be the dullest of the dull. I get it – this version of Taylor doesn’t like the drama. She doesn’t want to write “He Done Me Wrong” blind item songs for the rest of her life. But could she please tell Handsome Joe to liven things up a bit? Here’s Joe’s latest quote…zzzz……

Joe Alwyn is never, ever, ever … spilling the beans about his relationship with Taylor Swift.

After breaking his silence about the romance by, well, refusing to speak about his girlfriend in a new interview with British Vogue for its October issue, the Favourite actor is continuing to demur when prodded to speak about their undercover courtship.

“I understand people’s curiosity in the world we live in, about people’s private lives. Well, I don’t understand it, but I know it exists,” says Alwyn in another interview with Total Film. “For me, I just don’t feel it’s something I want to offer up to be picked apart by people who don’t know about it, and it’s just not their to have.”

[From People]

This feels like a go-to line he was fed by Taylor’s people, although I have no idea. This could be how he really feels, and if so, he’s showing a shocking amount of maturity and understanding of how gossip cycles work. Maybe I should stop taking it out on him: I’m clearly very salty about the state of this relationship, because my business is drama and Taylor’s not giving me much at the moment. I thought JoeTay would last a year, maybe 18 months, tops. They’re coming up on two years and clearly Joe is still with the program. And the program is boring. Someone grab a swan float, some whipped cream and some Taymerica banners and let’s see if that livens up this relationship.

75th Venice International Film Festival - 'The Favourite' - Premiere

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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10 Responses to “Joe Alwyn doesn’t want to ‘offer up’ his relationship to ‘be picked apart’”

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  1. phlyfiremama says:

    So WHY does he keep talking about it??

    • Jenni says:

      He doesn’t. This is the second time. And he never talks about them as a couple.

      • Heather says:

        Because the contractually enforced computer chip TayTay had implanted in the back of his neck explodes if he goes longer than a week without making a statement about how ver ver private they are.

  2. acakeofcheese says:

    I get this is all performative privacy because she literally wrote a whole album giving a week by week breakdown of their first 3 months and they have been papped conveniently close to a dozen times in 18 months BUT… I still prefer this Very Private version of Taylor-in-a-relationship than any other version. She always demurs afterwards anyway and acts like she didn’t flaunt her relationship as much as she could. At least this time it will be closer to the truth.

  3. Renee says:

    Uh this guy looks 14 yrs old….15 tops!

    • Anastasia says:

      I had to look him up. He’s an English actor and is *27* years old. You’re right, he looks half that.

  4. Pandy says:

    He seems sensible – wonder if it’s rubbed off on her yet?

  5. Hikaru says:

    1989 Kaylor >>>>>> Toe Alwyn.

  6. Lol says:

    Okay, so he doesn’t want to talk about his relationship, yet he is well aware (pretends to oblivious) dating the biggest popstar at the moment and then drops the bomb to interviews that his private life isn’t theirs to have, yet also mentions he doesn’t know why people are “into” celebrities personal lives. Yet his own GF loves reading and obsessing over other celebrity relationships (Joni Mitchell for e.g … Shipping Ava Gardner and Frank Sinatra… Obsessed with Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton.) Not only does he try to talk rudely about her fans/media for that interest his own GF has the same interest! Yikes. He also contradicted himself solely because he is dating one of the biggest popstars, how did he know know? – I honestly lowkey think he’s a gold digger like Wendy Williams pointed out. I don’t ship Taylor with anyone, but something about him is funny to me. Also, he is a crappy actor, he has no charisma and blander than a wooden board. There’s nothing about him. She said to a fan she’s getting bored and has no hobbies. We’ll see if Taylor really wants to stay hiding for a guy for yrs. Doubt it.