Gwyneth Paltrow & Brad Falchuk will marry in the Hamptons this weekend

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When was this photo taken? 1940? ‘50? ‘70? Last summer? It’s this timeless beauty’s birthday today. She was born with endless gifts – big blue eyes, a brain and heart overflowing with curiosity, generosity and possibility and those heartbreakingly long legs that go on and on – but she never rests on any of them. Gwyneth, you are the hardest working person I know. From your first cup of coffee in the morning to your last cup of whiskey at night. From the gym to the office to homework at the kitchen table. You give us all of you, all the time. And always with a smile (well, almost always). Maybe that’s why, even though you are the best person ever, you keep getting better every year. Happy birthday, Love.

A post shared by @ bradfalchuk on

Yesterday was Gwyneth Paltrow’s 46th birthday, and her lovah Brad Falchuk posted this rather lovely Instagram as one small way to celebrate. If there was any doubt about why Gwyneth is with Brad Falchuk, this should clear a few things up. He clearly adores her and he clearly worships her. This is all she’s ever wanted! She’s always wanted to be in a relationship where she’s clearly THE STAR and the most important person, but she also wanted to be with a man who was okay with that. And she found him. It’s like a narcissist’s fairytale!

Speaking of fairytales, Brad and Gwyneth finally found themselves completely divorced from their spouses after many years. They had an affair while they were both married to other people, and they kept it low-key even during their separate divorces. Brad was patient. Gwyneth was patient. And now they’re finally getting their “day.” Reportedly, they will marry this weekend in the Hamptons. Harper’s Bazaar had the exclusive:

Two sources have confirmed exclusively to that Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk are planning to wed this weekend, in a private and intimate ceremony at their home in the Hamptons. While it was speculated the couple may have tied the knot in mid-April in a secret wedding, it appears the couple were indeed celebrating their engagement as it was originally announced–with celebrity guests like Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, the bride’s mother Blythe Danner, and other family and friends in tow. Their actual nuptials, however, are quickly approaching, according to the two anonymous sources with ties close ties to the wedding.

Falchuk was previously married to Suzanne Bukinik, with whom he shares two children, Isabella and Brody. Gwyneth was previously married to Coldplay’s Chris Martin. The two have two children together, Apple, 14, and Moses, 12. The two “consciously uncoupled” in 2015, with Paltrow announcing their split in a personal letter from the editor on GOOP. It’s likely that Falchuk and Paltrow will choose to share photos and details from their wedding this weekend on GOOP as well.

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

Bazaar also had an aside about her wedding gown, but they don’t know who will design it. She’s good friends with Stella McCartney, but I honestly feel like even famous broads like Gwyneth know that Stella is a terrible designer. What I’m saying is that Gwyneth probably doesn’t want to wear Stella on her big day. My guess is Valentino. Anyway, congrats in advance to the happy couple.

Guests arrive to Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk's black tie event

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Instagram.

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43 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow & Brad Falchuk will marry in the Hamptons this weekend”

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  1. Jay says:

    Heartbreakingly long legs that go on and on? Barf.

  2. CharliePenn says:

    I read “heartbreakingly long legs” and then I threw up and then I read it again and then I rolled my eyes so hard that they got stuck so thankfully I couldn’t read it a third time.

    BUT… seeing affection and true love is great for her children so I wish them the best. I’ll just avert my eyes from now on when I see his posts lol.

  3. BengalCat😻 says:

    OT, but my girl crush of 25 years, Liz Phair posted a pic of herself with Goop the other day and it gave me rage. I’m glad Gwyn found a man who appreciates her long legs and narcissism. May they live insufferably ever after.

  4. Adrien says:

    Maybe it is about time Gwynnie consider using Pantene and Noxema or any drugstore stuff. Clearly, those high end stuff with inaccessible ingredients she is using do not work. Or maybe they do but all natural products can only do so much. Sometimes we need the hardworking machines. She has the means.

  5. Veronica S. says:

    Okay, okay, barf city, etc, etc. They’re insufferable, but in all seriousness, I’m happy for her. He clearly adores her and isn’t afraid to be open about it. I’d hope everybody could find a partner like that at some point in their life.

  6. Relli80 says:

    Isn’t it funny that Jennifer Aniston and Goop are bff now? She is longer just that TV girl but a close friend, first listed in the guest list. I would LOVE to hear their conversations.

    • chinoiserie says:

      Aniston has worked in far more movies recently than Gwyneth. I don’t know is she just doesn’t want to work more or if the parts offered her aren’t to her liking but she does not do much more than Marvel in film these days.

  7. Hazel says:

    How are long legs heartbreaking? Duuude! Lol

  8. Nev says:

    congrats goop!!!! can’t wait to see the dress!

  9. Rae says:

    This isn’t very kind but Brad Falchuk looks a bit like a house elf and I always imagine that he’s like Kreacher, doing her bidding and muttering about the filthy fats and poors she has to talk to.

  10. Apalapa says:

    I watched an interview with him and apparently he indulges all of her delusional health fads but fasting, during which he says she is not great to be around. He seems sweet on her and open to being changed/controlled as opposed to Chris Martin who ran to date Jennifer Lawrence and complained about his gluten and dairy free macrobiotic household while living with Gwyneth.

    I am imagining GP and Brady use all organic lubes, in their special detox sauna, surrounded by vagina eggs and healing crystals, for non toxic sex or birth control or both.

    May they be married in weirdness forever.

    • Rae says:

      That’s charitable and beautiful. I like it.

    • Jane says:

      Chris never complained about GOOP’s diets.

      I don’t know where the idea he was this laidback guy who wanted burgers and candy comes from. When they met he was an extremely strict vegan who was into all sorts of faddy health stuff. He actually got her started on a lot of the stuff she’s into today. He loosened up a bit as far as being a vegan, but that’s it.

  11. Susannah says:

    I think it’s great that two age-appropriate people are actually getting married to each other in Hollywood!

  12. Amelie says:

    I don’t know why but I thought these two were already married! I guess they just had a lavish engagement party? Too lazy to look it up.

  13. indian says:

    I don’t see why someone indulging someone they like is seen as feeding their narcissism. They seem to have a pretty healthy relationship, but couples often change for each other. My mother was an awesome cook and she changed the way my dad ate and lived his life.. Isn’t that normal in some households? I’d rather have couples that are aware of and accept the frailities in each other…

    • abbi says:

      gwyneth is a narcissist and surrounds herself with yes-people. now she is marrying someone who will further feed her narcissism but telling her how amazing and perfect she is. granted, i think most celebrity relationships are built around this dynamic.

  14. PineNut says:

    Glad she has found happiness after that cold fish Mr. Coldplay.

  15. Alix says:

    “‘last CUP of whiskey”???

  16. Betsy says:

    Not Harper’s exclusive, I just want to point out. Lainey posted about it earlier this week. For some reason even though I find her insufferable, I like them as a couple.

  17. artistsnow says:

    I just….just do not get ‘vibes’ from these two. At all.
    Their words and photos are lovely but…something seems way off.

  18. Wilder says:

    How are blue eyes and long legs “endless gifts”? (Never mind – it’s Hollywood – I guess those two things ARE gifts when you want to become a movie star.)

    It’s nit-picky, I know, but it always bugs me when people compliment someone on their physical attributes before complimenting them on anything else – like how intelligent they are, or what a great sense of humour they have, or how articulate they are when speaking about politics or their favourite book.

  19. Smiles says:

    “From your first cup of coffee in the morning to your last cup of whiskey at night?” and “… heartbreakingly long legs”!? These descriptions, I can’t! Both of these people are ridiculous. 😂😂😂

  20. Kirsty says:

    What was the clue? 40s, 50s, 70s? Er, think the fillers and photoshop give it away love

    Don’t scald your vag before the wedding with a steam

  21. I wish them the best of luck!

  22. SJhere says:

    I’m looking forward to the wedding dress photos. I love me some very exspensive fashion. Mostly because I’m broke, still. I an easily daydream my lunch 1/2 hour away looking at pretty clothes which I know I will never ever be able to afford.
    Goopy makes me laugh, what would she do if she suddenly had to live among the low income folks? She would not last a week in the real world.

  23. Star says:

    Ok I hadn’t seen Brad before, even though I’ve read about him all these years. I just looked him up and DAMN is he fine. I was not particularly happy for Gwyneth before, but now that I’ve seen him I am.

  24. Annaloo. says:

    May their marriage born out of infidelities be threaded with the insecurity that only cheating brings.

    Sorry, I am bitter. I have always hated these two and the sick parade of photo ops and instagram pictures. I FEEL for the ex-wife. Plus, all the photos showing off their relationship, a branding of their relationship everywhere: the father of my kids off with another woman, I would go mad seeing THEM everywhere in the media. I hope Suzanne Bukinik took him to the cleaners for the sake of preserving Gwyneth’s fake, holy sanctimonious “goop” purity. Such a fraud Gwyneth is. I wish them both nothing but their own behaviors during their marriages, especially HIM.

    Yes, very bitter here.

  25. Nicegirl says:

    Well Goop it on up why dontcha 🌹 congrats goopy