I've never wished so hard that Alyssa Milano was a real witch. pic.twitter.com/Oqaw7210eq
— Meredith B. Kile (@em_bee_kay) September 27, 2018
One of the best memes to come out of an awful traumatic week was this photo of Alyssa Milano glaring at Supreme Court nominee Kavanaugh. Alyssa was the guest of Senator Feinstein and she was so many of us as she glared over her glasses at this blustering rapist. We want Alyssa to be a real witch like the one she played on Charmed. We want to be powerful witches and we want to hex these old white men who called a rapist a victim and are trying to appoint an angry abusive alcoholic who will take away our basic rights. Can we get a hexing circle going? (No disrespect to practicing Wiccans. I’m open. Teach me your ways.)
Anyway Alyssa may have been glaring but she was working hard not to roll her eyes. She told CNN that it was a difficult day for her too and that she had to work hard to be stoic.
“It was a very hard day to be in that room, but I was proud to be a woman and I was proud to be a survivor, and I felt like I needed to be there for other survivors that couldn’t be there,” Milano told CNN’s Ana Cabrera.
“I thought it was important to stand in solidarity with Dr. Ford and all women and men who have been victims of crazy abuses of power,” she added. “And I felt blessed to be able to do that and to be there, no matter how stoic I had to be and sort of prevent myself from, you know, rolling my eyes. I just had to sit there and be stoic, and that was difficult. It was definitely an exercise in how to constrain and restrain yourself.”
Milano, who says she was sexually assaulted as a teenager, said that Ford’s testimony provided “a sense of hope.”
“There was a sense of hope in that room, as she spoke, for so many of us that have gone through that,” Milano said of Ford. “I can’t imagine how awful that was, and my stomach was in knots for her, but I felt, and I could see, the relief from her face as it came to an end and she walked out of the room.”
She was at the hearing as a guest of the committee’s ranking member, Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California.
Milano added that watching Ford’s testimony elicited memories of watching Anita Hill’s testimony almost three decades ago.
“It made me so proud … especially remembering Anita Hill in 1991,” she said. “I was almost 20 years old and so that was really a first experience of what the world was going to, the hardships I was going to face in a world that looks at women as second-class citizens.”
“It was powerful,” she added.
Milano also criticized Kavanaugh’s behavior during the hearing, implying that the nominee escaped some criticism for his behavior because he was man.
“If a woman acted like that during a line of questioning, she would have been considered totally unhinged or like she was having a meltdown, which I think proves that he doesn’t have the temperament to be on the Supreme Court,” she said of Kavanaugh.
I can’t imagine having to check myself while watching the proceedings in that room. It would have been near impossible. Of course conspiracy theorists are spinning theories about Alyssa’s presence there. (I’m not going to link those, you can google “Alyssa Milano conspiracy.”) And of course they’re angry she was even there and are mocking her dress because they have nothing else. She sat there restrained and yet she’s still at fault for showing up.
All of this: “If a woman acted like that during a line of questioning, she would have been considered totally unhinged or like she was having a meltdown.” Yet still the old Republican white men fell over themselves to apologize to Kavanaugh and his family, to yell and bluster just like him, like they were claiming their birthright to violate and control our bodies. We’re expected to be quiet perfect victims and we still take those roles even as we’re resisting. Dr. Ford’s testimony was thoughtful, restrained, vulnerable and genuine. So the men called an accomplished Stanford psychology professor confused and suggested she was an operative. I can be dignified like Alyssa but I’m done with being quiet and nice and considering abuser’s feelings.
Also, she said this, which I found relatable:
"I think anytime someone comes forward in a public way it triggers survivors everywhere. But I also think that there’s power in that. We can find power in our collective hardships and heartaches." Actress + activist @Alyssa_Milano on being in the room during the hearing. pic.twitter.com/ECwX2m3WPb
— Ana Cabrera (@AnaCabrera) September 29, 2018
Also, did you see SNL’s opening this week? Kaiser covered that here, it was hilarious.
#SNL pic.twitter.com/Md0lqlcbfV
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) September 30, 2018
It took me 30 years to tell anyone. And I’m far from alone. https://t.co/HbBxo2gmps
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) September 30, 2018
Photos credit: Avalon.red and via social media
No disrespect to her, but I wonder why she was the face of MeToo at the hearing instead of Tarana Burke, considering she’s the founder of the movement?
Yes, I thought it was interesting to see Tarana Burke’s out of focus face in the background in the photo of Alyssa Milano.
I’m kinda curious to know what the conspiracy theory is, but not enough to bother to google it. I had enough in that vein this weekend on twitter, where I stumbled onto a thread of people discussing how Dr. Ford clearly is…wait for it…CIA.
I honestly have never felt so hopeless.
I’m not going to lie, Dr. Ford’s testimony was a trigger for me. I’ve been crying at random intervals since the hearing. I’m still unsure if it’s because of Dr. Ford’s experiences, the triggering of my own or because I’m starting to truly realize that the men of the Republican Party truly do not care about anything besides their own agenda (and before you think I am playing politics – I am an Independent).
I wish I was as brave as Dr. Ford (and as brave as some of the women on this site have been) in speaking about their experience. I’m just not there, yet. I don’t know if I will ever be there.
Me too, Tallia. I have been simultaneously checking constantly AND avoiding news. I have been having flashbacks and horrible thoughts all week and last night I completely lost it and spet probably 30 minutes sobbing harder than I ever remember crying. At some point I had ripped off my clothes, and just sat on the bathroom floor bawling and bawling and felt like I would never run out of tears to express my fear and grief. Women in this country are f*cked.
Janet – know you are not going through this alone, it sounds awful to deal with this. I can offer gentle internet stranger hugs, good vibes or will be glad to pass a pizza, a bottle of whiskey and queue up cute animal videos to pass through the bathroom door. Not making light of your situation in the least. ❤
It’s ok if you aren’t ready. Every single case, every individual, is different. Survival and healing have their own timetable.
Can anyone make out what her sign says?
I think it says “I believe Swetnik. No on Kavanaugh”
Sign in her hands reads “I believe survivors, No on Kavanaugh”
Pin reads “I still believe Anita”
Thanks!
“It was definitely an exercise in how to constrain and restrain yourself.”
For everybody but white men that is. Kavanaugh and his rapists/boys club didn’t see the need for either of these things.
So tfue. Men are allowed to act like raving lumatics but women must show no emotion or else they will be labeled as unstable. Or asked if they have their period. Pretty sure Lindsey Graham was on his period during the hearing.
This is so true. For the first time I really understand the term “triggered” and what it does to people.
I’ve been lucky to only be discriminated against in little tiny actions in my decent-paying job by a male boss, a job I could leave for a better work environment. And get inappropriate comments from men I’ve interviewed (I’m a local news reporter/anchor). Those are things that are frustrating, easy to identify, and while wrong, usually weren’t worth fighting (or at least fighting alone).
Instead, Thursday and Friday I had my head filled by this experience in college. I was with somebody I had hooked up with before, we were at his place, which I had slept over at before. I was drunk. He was drunk. I remember falling asleep and waking up to him touching me, trying to wake me for sex. But he acted like he never realized I was asleep. And I waited way too long to show him I was awake. I had hoped he’d realize I was sleeping and give up. Instead I just went with it once I told him I was awake. You know those moments when you’ve been drinking, but something serious happens (someone starts a fight, someone tries to drive drunk and you have to stop them, etc.) that makes you snap back into clarity, where you feel totally sober all of a sudden bc the fun has ended? It felt like that. It’s not until just now I’m realizing how NOT okay that was. Luckily I’m not too upset by it, it’s just one of those times where the lines are so blurred it can take years to get perspective. It’s like it’s all clear as day now. And Thursday and Friday, I couldn’t think about anything else for more than 15 minutes without it popping into my head.
It’s crazy that it takes something so public, this shared experience to help me put a not-cool situation into perspective. And so many women have been through so much worse.
Some were criticizing what alyssa wore there-which proved they were totally missing the point of this specific situation and in general part of what the me too movement is about as a whole: STOP BODY POLICING WOMEN. This is literally a hearing regarding the alleged sexual assault of a supreme court nominee and your response is again to disregard womens boundaries and tell them what to do? What do you have to say about a man accused by many of sexual assault? Nothing? Seriously?
I wish men would realize that anger is an emotion and own up to being overly emotional when they behave the way BK did. They pretend to be unemotional and above feelings, but then rant and rave. Do they literally not understand that anger is a feeling? It’s insane.
This. I wonder if the confusion for them comes from the way anger ‘feels’? It feels powerful, like an engine. It can provide an energy that allows one to ‘get sh*t done’, which is within the traditional masculine wheelhouse. Other feelings, like grief or fear, may not feel useful, especially in the short run. Which is not what one wants to feel when one is trying to weasel out of …I mean defend oneself.