Louis CK had a little vacation. That was his “punishment” for sexually harassing multiple women over the course of his career. He took a little break and some of his projects got canceled, all because he liked to whip it out and masturbate in front of often-horrified women, often female comics who had much less power and access than him. Whenever one of them tried to speak out, Louis and his bros made sure to run her out of the comedy world or our of Hollywood. Louis CK is already back in comedy clubs, making everyone uncomfortable and generally being gross.
But I have no doubt that Louis CK will have a thorough “comeback.” Even in the first weeks of his “exile/vacation,” all of his friends were already falling all over themselves to justify and excuse his behavior. Well, Sarah Silverman is still friends with Louis CK. And she wants everyone to know that… he whipped it out and jerked off in front of her too. But she liked it. Silverman appeared on Monday’s Howard Stern Show (on SiriusXM) and here’s some of what she said:
When they were younger, he did it all the time: “I know I’m going to regret saying this. I’ve known Louis forever. I’m not making excuses for him, so please don’t take this that way. We are peers. We are equals. Sometimes I’d go, ‘F–k yeah, I want to see that!’ … We were only just friends. Sometimes, yeah, I wanted to see it. It was amazing. Sometimes I would say, ‘F–king no, gross,’ and we got pizza.” Sarah made sure to explain that her encounters are “not analogous to the other women that are talking about what he did to them.” She insisted that they were simply “letting our freak flags fly.”
She thinks Louis just failed to realize he couldn’t do that when he became more powerful: “Once he became powerful, even within just his [comedy] community, he felt like he was the same person, but the dynamic was different and it was not OK.”
Louis has remorse: “I’m not saying everyone should embrace Louis again. I believe he has remorse. I just want him to talk about it on stage. He’s going to have to find his way or not find his way.”
On Louis returning to comedy clubs: “I get it. I’m not in the business of telling people how to feel. He’s my brother and I love him. I can understand, I can try to understand him… I think I’m too close to really see the big picture.”
Can I get away with just writing “hard pass” and leaving it at that? I swear it’s not a “hard” pun, ugh. I just don’t understand the purpose of this kind of interview – surely all of the celebrities and comedians who love Louis CK also see how his actions hurt their industry? When will someone like Sarah Silverman stand up and say “yeah, he’s my friend, but I can’t justify what he did and my thoughts are with the women who felt violated by his actions and the women whose careers were altered by his actions.” You know who said something like that? Amy Schumer, when she talked about Aziz Ansari – there’s a way to balance “he’s a friend” and “but what he did was awful.” I left feeling like “who is this interview for?” Who is Silverman trying to win over? Men’s Rights Activists?
Photos courtesy of Getty and WENN.
She wants to be one of the boys. She is covering herself in every way because she knows he wont be disappearing and he has power.
I really think so many women excuse a giant amount of bullshit, and even participate in the victimization of other women, because they want to be one of the boys. Exactly as you said. They want approval and the patriarchy has gotten deep into their subconscious telling them that the only approval that counts is male approval.
It’s sad and I feel bad for women like this, but even more than that I feel that women like this should be expected to open their eyes, be accountable for whom they support, and DO BETTER. Seek the approval of WOMEN for a change and let’s just see how much we can improve our whole social dynamic!
YES thank you for saying this. I can admit that I was one of these “cool girls” for 10 years of my life, spent another 10 years deconstructing my internalized misogyny, and now I’m a few years into NOT HAVING IT anymore. I was really disappointed with Sarah’s interview, although not surprised. I’m just happy that my own reaction to it was negative rather than agreeing with her and her dude friends to be ~cool.
I don’t feel bad at all for these “cookie seekers”, as we call in my country. It’s fun to see them feel what their so loved “equals” are really about.
The cool girl club hurts all women.
Peak “Cool Girl.” Never been able to stand her. Now I feel more justified about it.
Came here to say what you all said…
I cannot stand Sarah Silverman, and never have understood the so called “talent” that some say she possesses. She has *always* tried to be “one of the boys” in the worst sense of that phrase: nasty, foul mouthed, vulgar, and obscene. I understand many U.S. comedians are consistently “pushing the envelope”—who can be crudest, lewdest, grossest—but most such comedians have nothing INSIDE OF THEIR ENVELOPES—no quality content, no humor, no innovativeness, no originality at all. Also, to actually defend a serial sexual assailant, who has violated and intimidated the personal lives of other women, is truly grotesque. She’s saying: Since SHE used to enjoy watching him masturbate in front of her, it isn’t really a big deal, and why are other women so offended and upset by it? Yes, I agree she is trying to stay on the male good side—male comedians, inflexibly, have all the power in their field, women are always considered second rate, always needing to prove themselves—and are largely considered disposable. I think Sarah is fighting for her own job and reputation by betraying other women, and this is transparently inane, self centered, disrespectful of all women, and cowardly.
It is quite simple, if you consider the person your friend or a brother, you are the one who should call out your friend/brother not make excuses for them in front of the others. It’s not doing anyone any good. Real atonement is hard and real close people are there to help us through it.
Needless to say, gross! Keep it to your self if you want to see your friends/brothers masturbating.
That Ansari guy is unpleasant, but he never did anything like that or?… I remember only that some girl went down on him of her own free will , then regretted it later. It’s really quite different from what Louie did – absolute harassment!
I think we should distinguish between someone being an asshole and someone actually completing an offense /attack/blackmail. It’s not the the same.
There were lots of rumours but the overwhelming support for Aziz has silenced those. So we’ll never hear those other stories.
Not exactly of her own free will. He refused to take no for an answer, and continued to pressure her to do what he wanted.
Ansari didn’t take no for an answer. He kept pushing for sex. He is gross.
Ansari was gross but I wouldn’t call him a criminal or deviant. To be honest, I had been on a million dates like that. Doesn’t make it okay but it doesn’t make him worse than 99% of the guys you know. He basically went on a date with a girl, just wanted sex from her but she wanted an actual date, and when he made it pretty clear that’s all he wanted from her and kept pushing, she didn’t leave. Like they did everything but then she wanted to slow down and he would be like, “ok” then try to bring it back around to trying to have sex again. It happened over and over until she asked for an Uber and he was like “sure” and got her one. The next day he texted her and she called him out and he apologized. I have to say, he acted like an ass but I think she was disappointed when it became pretty obvious he did not see her beyond a sex object. Not cool but not a crime.
I totally agree that the Ansari thing is not the same. He did not force or coerce the girl to do anything. She obviously suffered from low self esteem and was trying to please him and later regretted it. I fail to see how that is his fault. I have been in that position before and I know what I should have done in the situation but I felt compelled to acquiescence to the demands of the situation. I know better now and I accept that it is my responsibility to look after my well being.
@sassbr for real, deadass asking: WHY DONT YOU THINK THATS A PROBLEM?
@sunshine “compelled to acquiesce” is a real sidestepping way of admitting that you were coerced.
Sorry to be the one who breaks it to you guys, but what you’ve both experienced IS sexual assault and it should not be tolerated. Nor should you blame yourselves afterward.
Seek counseling. Dead serious. You’re actively in denial. This isn’t “just how guys are, hehe!” Men like that know what consent is. They just don’t care. Trust. Been there, done that. Had the counseling.
@Anon33, it’s not sexual assault. Sorry, it sucks to be objectified by men and for men to treat women like just sexual objects for their pleasure-also sucks. And I’m not saying that’s just how guys are to excuse them-it’s sad that so many men are like that. But that was not sexual assault. It was a guy pushing for sex but every time she said no, he stopped. When she wanted to leave, he let her. He was being a creep but there was no forceful sex or attempted sex in that story. I’ve been on a few dates like that where I had participated in sexual behavior, did not want to go all the way, the guy listened, but later really wanted it and tried to ask for it multiple times and I said no and the guy got annoyed but never forced me. That’s not sexual assault.
It’s also something that I think every single guy has done too. It’s not excusable! But we have a culture that has made it okay for all guys to do this and we all have a shared responsibility to say “no, that’s not okay.” But it is NOT sexual assault-it’s toxic masculine behavior and even the “nicest” of guys are fully capable of participating in it.
^^ internalized rape culture in practice. Perpetuating the idea that pressuring women into sex is normal and that “all guys do it”. You are thisclose to getting the point…
@Anon33, I have been sexually assaulted…many times so I think I know what sexual assault is. I know I have been in situations that I did not want to be in and I gave more than I should have sexually because I felt compelled to go along with it just to not “upset” or “disappoint” the other person. It was one hundred percent my fault for not expressing myself and saying, “no, I am not comfortable with this and I don’t want to go further”. It would be insane of me to expect someone else to know what I am feeling without me expressing it to them and furthermore as am adult female with my own empowerment I have a right to stick up for myself and look after myself. That is my duty, to look after my best interest. A stranger I met for a date does not care about me. He just met me. He does not owe me anything.
@jay, pressuring women into sex IS normal. It’s NOT okay. But it is, unfortunately, normalized. We have to work to change that. I think I said that “all men do it,” does not mean I;m excusing it-just pointing out that if you burn Aziz at the stake for that behavior, all men need to answer to it too-even the ones you know. Should he lose his career for something every person we know has done? If he was trained into that behavior, he deserves a chance to learn from it. The girl called him out and he apologized. Maybe I shouldn’t give him credit for not being as bad as others, but it sounds like he is capable of making changes. He is not a rapist or a criminal, just a creepy dude who needs to learn and hopefully can.
Aziz did not sexually assault her. Believe you me, I have studied rape and sexually assault for many many years, I have been date raped, I have been sexually assaulted, I have had unenthusuastic and regrettable sex, I know the general legal definitions in the UK, US and Australia as well as various other countries and I know the difference. A court of law would not judge this to be sexual assault as it does not meet the legal definition of sexual assault.
What a BETTER journalist would have done with the Aziz story is open up the #metoo sexual assault conversation into a broader conversation about ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT and WILLING AND EQUAL PARTICIPATION in sex and how these should be the ONLY forms of consent and participation that we as a society are willing to accept. It should have gone into how women are hardwired by society to be polite and to be people-pleasers and to never cause a fuss and that this needs to be understood when it comes to things like sex. We should have been talking extensively about educating the public on these matters and ensuring that men (and women and other genders/non-genders; but mostly men) are doing more that just looking for a vocal “yes” or “no” but are actually taught to understand what constitutes an enthusiastic, willing and equal sexual partner. We should be teaching that if you have to beg, pester, annoy, plead or push someone into a sexual act then that is NOT okay and you need to stop immediately and respect them. However, since the journalist completely effed up how they told the story, it instead simply weakened the #metoo movement and did not open up the conversations it should have. That continues to anger me as it is an important conversation we, as a society, need to be having.
‘some girl went down on him of her own free will , then regretted it later. ‘
that is absolutely not what happened. what a horrible assessment of women who come forward after abuse. shame on you
Did you read the story? If you came away from that story thinking she was sexually abused, then you have to recalibrate what sexual abuse means. He was a total creep and kept trying to get more sex from her but she said no and he backed off every time he said no-the bad part was that he kept trying. But he never did anything forceful. The lesson I learned from that story is that society ingrains women to not be clear in saying “no” and that men think there is a grey area when it comes to consent. She did not want to end the date so she asked to slow down and did not want offend him-this is NOT her fault, because culture has sort of ingrained that in women to not want to “offend”, not realizing that saying NO is not offending anyone. Because it was not a clear no, he kept thinking she was okay to return to sex but then kept crossing the line by repeatedly asking for more when it should have been obvious that she did not want to. There are several points in that story where she makes it clear in her narrative-and she wrote it-that she still had hope the date would go well. I wouldn’t say she lashed out of regret like the other poster said-just that she felt very disrespected. There is a very fine line here-he is famous so we are all seeing is as part of Time’s Up. But they went out on a casual date as equals-so is she saying his fame intimidated her and that the power dynamic made is sexual abuse? I’m not sure if two people going on a date as equals when one does NOT work for the other is the same as Time’s Up. She was a photographer at a Hollywood party and he asked her on a date. He should 100% be called out for being a creep to women and know he is not going to get away with that-but he is not a criminal.
“Free will” is a charged term here. Context and power dynamics are important. We live in a society where the male and wealthy have power that many, particularly women, do not. We also live in a society where women are taught to fear male sexual aggression from a young age. We can’t pretend these elements magically stop existing even in situations where other consensual activities may have taken place. Aziz Ansari, despite the racial oppression he encounters living in America, has plenty of agency and power in ways that a random girl at a bar does not. They both would have been aware of that in a private setting.
By most people’s definitions, what occurred may not have been sexual assault, but something about it unsettled her. Something about his behavior undermined her sense of enjoyment and agency in the situation. And regardless of the exact definition of what happened – and there may not be one, really – that is something that we as a culture need to have a dialogue about. Because her experiences are mirrored by a lot of other women and men who have encountered similarly troubling situations. What happens between people sexually comes with potentially severe ramifications – pregnancy, STDs, PTSD, etc. – so we need to stop pretending these experiences can’t be nuanced and that we shouldn’t be talking about the complexities of consent more often and more openly as a culture.
I think what unsettled her is how most of us feel when that happens-disrespected and surprised that someone could objectify us in that manner. I’m also seeking a nuanced conversation-that we have raised men and women to act entitled toward sex and objectify each other-but it’s not criminal. I’m glad Ansari was called out, he deserves it, you can’t get away with that type of behavior. But do i think he should have his whole career thrown away? No.I also think he was using his fame to get in good with a hot girl because if he wasn’t who he was, I don’t think he would date as much-but do I think he used his fame to intimidate her? Not really. We don’t even know if he learned his lesson from this encounter-the girl privately called him out, he apologized-then a year later, she gave the story to Babe. What more do we want from someone who behaves like every single dude we know? Even the men we trust-brothers, fathers, cousins, friends-have done this to another woman at least once. That is the conversation we should be having. If every single person we know has done or is capable of doing this-when they get called out, should they be ounished or allowed to make a change?
You are still excusing predatory behavior. The burden of rehabilitating sexual aggression and even mere entitlement, that certain kind that comes from being wealthy and or merely male, does not fall on women, or the victims of assault, or society, or the victims of disrespect, coercion, cat calls, rape culture without being physically violated, etc… it is not our job to educate and patiently wait for all the menfolk to understand human decency. The burden of not being a garden variety douche or a dangerous misogynist falls squarely on the men on question. Their behavior and the aggression they normalize and perpetuate with it, is their responsibility only. It’s called being a decent human. It’s not anyone’s obligation to grant them extra chances at being one. They either decide to be all on their own or they don’t.
BTW Sarah Silverman already upset me trying to normalize the C word. She’s the worst example of the ‘cool girl’ out there. She is way canceled. Especially when she tried to travel around the country and convince us Trump voters had souls and minds. Um no, usually they’re missing one of those.
Maybe she got candid because it was Howard Stern and he gets people to reveal too much. She tried to tread lightly on the topic but got burned. Rachel Corey, one of the women CK assaulted, had some good responses on Twitter.
I think Silverman and Corey had an exchange on twitter about this? It was really thoughtful and positive. I’m not really a Sarah Silverman person humor-wise but in context her remarks are NOT a defense of CK but a rumination on her experience him and their relationship. She wasn’t casting aspersions on his victims and excusing nonconsensual contact.
I agree, it wasn’t Sarah’s intent and she made that clear. Still, revealing this clickbaity info is just gonna cause trouble.
I think you should reread that exchange.
I totally agree that the Ansari thing is not the same. He did not force or coerce the girl to do anything. She obviously suffered from low self esteem and was trying to please him and later regretted it. I fail to see how that is his fault. I have been in that position before and I know what I should have done in the situation but I felt compelled to acquiescence to the demands of the situation. I know better now and I accept that it is my responsibility to look after my well being.
She was on Stern. He’s usually the one that gets people to open up about uncomfortable subjects.
I think Stern asked about CK, and as you say, Stern gets people to really open up.
I heard about this last night, my husband saw something online and brought it up. My first thought was “well, what was her point in revealing all this?” But I think that is just it….she didn’t HAVE a point. Stern asked, she answered with her truth. I do think it is going to cause a lot of not so great conversations. I mean, technically, she IS saying “he did that to me and I LIKED it.” But she is not implying that the others should have liked it too. She was careful to say so.
I feel like all we have really learned here is that when CK was originally denying that he did any of this, Sarah knew he was lying. But even still, I am not sure what we can expect from her. She is very good friends with CK, has known him forever AND the behaviour that we are all disgusted by isn’t even NEWS to her….in fact, he did it around her with her permission. If I found out a super close friend of mine was say, a rapist, I would be horrified, and yes, confused. But what if my friend was suddenly on blast for doing something that was not a surprise to me? That would be even stranger.
Also…I cannot imagine , for the life of me, being like “Oh sure John, masturbate in front of me” with one of my friends, particularly not one I refer to as a BROTHER. That is &#$%ed up.
I mean. When you are around toxic behavior all the time it can start to feel normal to you and maybe that’s what should have been examined.
In the show comedians in cars getting coffee, Sarah says she grew up with her parents over sharing all the time, from a fairly young age, so it doesn’t surprise me that as an adult she was willing to let inappropriate Louis CK actions fly? I guess it sounds like I am trying to be a therapist but mostly it is way, way too familiar a dynamic to me.
Saw a pic of Ryan Reynolds on his eighth birthday, which is when his dad told him “the condom broke”
I think people have very short memories and forget that she and Jimmy Kimmel made a lot of sense together. Also because people forgot about Man Show Jimmy Kimmel.
I will never forget his part in “Juggies” and advancing Adam Carolla’s career.
A) I fail to understand the dynamics of such a friendship, where a guy would simply and freely ask to masturbate himself in front of someone and that other person would simply be ok with it. Did he do it only in front of his female friends? Was that a fetish or he just randomly masturbated at any time? He couldn’t control himself long enough to go to a restroom or something? Was that at one of their homes or at a workplace? But anyway, they were two consenting adults, so to each their own, I guess.
B) Doing this at a workplace, there’s no amount of consent at play here, it’s wrong, plain and simple.
C) Doing it in front of people whom you didn’t ask for consent, is very simple to categorize as sexual harassment.
D) Doing it in front of subordinates, people who depend on their jobs for a living is not only sexual harassment but coercion as well.
There’s no excuse for any of this.
What I really like about this is the idea that seeing a guy jerk off isn’t like being struck by lightning. The mere sight of the engorged member ( cue Sade) doesn’t make us faint from its mighty power. It’s just a weird guy acting weirdly. Good for Howard stern for getting that out of her. Much needed deflating of the event.
Appropriate name, bro. Sarah got all the bros, but she had them since berniebro days. She can keep you.
Watching somebody take a dump on the carpet or piss in your fireplace isn’t like being struck by lightning either. It’s really somebody trying to assert dominance in a totally primitive and sad way. And f#@&ing annoying. If he pulled this shit on a guy, he’d probably get beat up. Allowing for this kind of shitty behavior is how we earned the president we have.
Um so he was her friend and he used to masturbate in front of her and she was ok with that? Who in their right mind wants to see / watch a friend of either sex masturbate? If she’s being honest that’s completely weird; I’ll buy that she’s covering her ass in a male dominated industry because surely…. no.
I’m totally with you. It’s super, duper weird.
Right? I was so disgusted by this yesterday. And for her to say this when she knows he has victims out there, whose careers he harmed, goes beyond gross TMI. Which it also was.
It may be weird but you dont have to assign her some pathology that she’s doing it because she wants to be one of the boys or some such-that she couldnt possibly truly not have had a problem with it. Which is an infantalizing viewpoint. If she says it didnt bother her and sometime she said yes and sometimes she said no and they went to get pizza, do not assign her a mental malady. she’s an adult and she wasnt traumatized by it. not everything is traumatic.
Yeah, kinda f**ked up really. And they weren’t sexually involved, just bros, it’s very odd. I cannot even imagine being in this position and not being uncomfortable AF.
It’s also “weird” that he wanted to do it, but here we are. Could just be a case of exhibitionist meets voyeur, in their case.
BUT… debating whether she might be fooling herself is missing the big point: even if she legitimately did consent without reservation as she claims, it still doesn’t invalidate the horror of the numerous women who didn’t.
You don’t have to invalidate her claim to say what he did to everyone else was wrong.
If Woman A says she was raped by a guy, Woman B saying she slept with him willingly does nothing to invalidate Woman A’s claim. There’s nothing to be gained by second guessing Woman B.
This.
I don’t see anything positive in her revealing this.
Uggghhh. I can’t believe she said this. Not everything has to be discussed publicly. And why do I get the feeling that Sarah is trying to somehow smooth Louis’ “re-entry”? How about Louis “no sexual boundaries” CK face the gauntlet on his own if he wants redemption? How about he publicly and meaningfully apologize for his effed up behavior?
Uggghh.
I’m so grossed out at the way she completely normalized his behavior.
Some people really need to learn when to keep their gobs shut.
For real! When you preface a comment with, “I know I’ll probably regret saying this…” that’s probably a cue that you shouldn’t say it at all.
All i have to say is: TMI
How would she feel if someone she didn’t like whipped it out in front of her and made her watch him jack off?? This article is ridiculous. Her trying to normalize his behavior is disgusting.
These words are going to haunt her in ways she cannot imagine for the rest of her professional life.
I already had her blocked on twitter, which I did when she became a saint and lectured liberals for not loving trump supporters. I would have blocked her for this though. She is so out of bounds with this.
I kind of get what she was trying to say, but my God, was this short-sighted of her. She can emphasize that she wasn’t trying to apologize for his behavior all she wants, but that’s exactly how his supporters will take it. A lot of white women are going to learn very quickly soon how easily they will be exploited and discarded as needed by men when it’s convenient.
If any of my male friends thought it was ok to whip out their dicks in front of me and start masturbating, I would seriously re-evaluate that friendship…wtf?
ikr??!! Happy to report I don’t have and have never had a single male friend pull that particular stunt on me. To try and turn it into a funny story is appalling.
So I can’t help but think, and this is just speculation on my part, that this actually emboldened C.K. to do it more, and to weaponize his interactions with Silverman against the other women who were unwilling.
Like “Sarah was totally cool with this, why aren’t you?” If that is what happens, it’s totally and completely gross on a whole new level. Not to mention, WHO WANTS TO WATCH THEIR FRIEND MASTURBATING?!
Exactly, Marty. She not only condoned, but essentially encouraged it at the time but now she wants to buffer it by saying that it was just her experience and other women may have had a different one.
I honestly cannot understand how anyone would be ok with a male friend masturbating in front of them.
It’s actually pretty insidious when you think about it. She should’ve kept this antidote to herself.
It seesm to me the answer to this, is ‘other men’. For some unknown reason. Didn’t Paul McCartney just talk again recently about the times that he and Lennon and others used to wank with each other? I don’t get it – but at least that seems to be an answer to who wants to watch their friends masturbate.
I always hated the Beatles.
I assumed they were high when they were flipping it out.
Even if they have a “freak card” where she was okay with it and gave consent, it’s not an appropriate anecdote…because that makes it utterly unrelated to the experiences of those other women. They didn’t consent. That’s the line he crossed. Period, end of story. Even juxtaposing her experience with theirs is inherently problematic because she’s blurring ideas about consent. It was very stupid of her, and a lot of people are not going to let her forget this.
Yes allllllllll of this right here.
She’s always been an asshole, she just got more passes because here because she is a woman.
This is not helpful info. Who benefits from this? Sarah is funny sometimes but …..just no. On another note she looks amazing. She does not age .
Oh, she will. Good skin care can take you far, but not through 50. I didn’t age either in my 30’s and even most of my 40’s.
Care doesn’t overcome genes. I am near 50 and no wrinkles on my face yet. I don’t use creams or moisturizers, never had unless my skin was dry. Don’t even wash my face with soap.
My mum has the skin of a 55-year old. She just turned 80….
Your comment reminds me of something hilarious that happened here a couple of months ago. I am just going to laugh to myself remembering it. Thanks.
I think what these friends of his are forgetting is that it’s not normal to want to do that in front of people compulsively. Like who is to say what is normal sexually, but that need to just ask to do it or whip it out…? Even if at one time you were like “haha that guy is funny,” if this were my friend, I would be like “Hey, bud, I think you have a problem, this is strange behavior.” We have this issue with someone at my work right now-a coworker makes lewd jokes, and maybe it was shockingly funny the first couple times, but after didn’t tell him to stop, he’s been upping the ante and it’s making all of us very uncomfortable. And a few have trouble complaining because we’re all like “he;s a good guy, he’s good at his job, he’s my friend.” But I’ve stopped making that excuse and I’ve been very firm, “You’re my friend, I like you, but I do not like that and I do not want you to do it here.”
It’s a very concerning escalation of behavior that could easily become even worse than it already is because nobody stopped him.
“Who is Silverman trying to win over? Men’s Rights Activists?”
Yes. Her humor is very much man’ish, she has to placate her career. But she’s every bit as much of a douche as Louis.
I feel like this would have been better left unsaid. However. I do think that she was clear about the power dynamic aspect of this. I mean, people have different sexual preferences. That’s cool. It sounds like she’s saying that this was something that was mutually enjoyable for both of them, and that he respected her boundaries when she said no. The problem is that 1.) he didn’t respect other women’s boundaries and 2.) he brought sex into work situations where people felt forced to be part of it/ watch him. The dude has some serious problems and he 100% sexually assaulted these women (or whatever the legal term would be in this particular instance), but the act of masturbating in front of someone is not sexual assault if both parties are agreeable to it, just like any other sex act. She was pretty clear about delineating between the two things.
All that said, I don’t find this a helpful contribution to the conversation. Was she asked directly? That the only reason I could see for her to bring this up.
I’m no prude but I would be absolutely horrified if any guy, friend or not, started masturbating in front of me. I can’t make sense of this.
Agreed Skipper. I am also now feeling rather disturbed because in an effort to understand this..I have considered MY male friends, and whether that would be ok for me. And now I have thought of my friends asking to wank in front of me, and may never be quite right in the head again. On the one hand, if Sarah was consenting..that is fine for them. But to be clear, that is NOT even remotely typical. There are all kinds of fetishes out there, and even the most odd ones are shared by 1000s of people. So sure…defining “normal” in terms of sexuality is tough. But while some people may like “an audience” and some people might like “to watch” it is definitely NOT normal for people who are JUST friends to be taking part in that stuff together.
Exactly. At least he asked for permission first. Everyone has their own sexual fetishes or whatnot but if one of my guy friends even asked me if it was okay to do that in front of me there would be a serious problem. I’m just different from Sarah in that way, I suppose. I would run and never speak to them again.
Not sure why she felt the need to open this can of worms… this is something she should have just kept to herself. She has every right to not feel victimized and people may think it’s weird she somehow “enjoyed” (I dunno if that’s the right word?) watching her friend masturbate in front of her but… different strokes for different folks I guess. I think it’s super weird but plenty of people are into weird things, they don’t typically tell you. She also doesn’t defend his behavior, the gist of the story is his masturbating didn’t bother her. But… this was something none of us needed to know!
I heard the interview, and she made some very specific points that I found to have valuable insight. I AM NOT DEFENDING HER OR HIM.
1. She pointed out that when he used to ask to JO in front of her, they were equals and friends. Sometimes she said yes, sometimes she said no, and he listened to her answer and did not force her to watch him. They also had other young-people-sexual-hijinx together as friends. Her point was that asking to JO in front of someone is not harassment if you are equals/one has no power over the other, you are friends, and you pay attention and respect their answer, which she says he did.
2. She noted that the problem with his behavior later was that he had power and influence over those women…which is correct. She recognized that was very wrong and so did he (now)…though she suggested that he may not have realized how the power differential had shifted in his favor at the time.
3. She noted that he had come clean about his behavior and apologized, unlike the Brett Kavanaughs of the world, who deny and lie and never have any consequences. She said that both LCK and Al Franken had taken responsibility and that should count for something, though she did not suggest it was enough at all.
She was not being anti-feminist, in my view.. She was recognizing the grey areas of the situation as she saw and experienced them. She did not suggest LCK should get a free pass or be able to worm his way back into the world’s hearts. She was just offering her perspective, which I appreciated.
I didn’t. There are many things I can live without. Sarah Silverman’s perspective on just about anything? Oh, it’s up there on the list.
I agree with you here and heard the interview too. I do think PPs have a point that if Sarah was cool with it other women might have felt pressure to accept it too. And Sarah should realize that. Howard was legitimately shocked that she divulged that info.
God, it can’t be easy to shock Howard Stern lol So, she’s got that going for her, I guess?? Ugh
@sophia Howard is actually extremely controlled. He’s just fascinated by other people’s crazy behavior.
Years ago on, I think, The View, she was asked about making jokes about Britney Spears’ kid(s) in her stand up. She made them the butt of her jokes, implying they were “special.” She leaned back on the couch, stretched her arms, elbows on the back, not directly responding to the question, did a “Weeelllll . . . ” I don’t remember her words except for not responding, skating around the question. I was pissed anyone would do that. I didn’t know much about her then but made a point to put her on my shit list. And why would Lewis request that of a friend?!
If anyone did this where I come from….he’d be lucky to keep his dick..
Yeah. Tiffany Haddish punched a guy in his genitals when he exposed himself to her in a closed space. F*CK Louis CK.
A lot of kink shaming in the comments. Nothing wrong with watching someone masturbate if both individuals consent to it. She also said she can’t excuse his behavior towards other women. As an aside, her new show on HULU is brilliant in how she can bring together liberals and Trump supporters.
Oh kink shaming. We’ve got everything covered, don’t we?
I presume you mean white liberals and trump supporters. This is the nonsense I had previously blocked Silverman for on twitter. So I didn’t have the pleasure of blocking her yesterday for this fresh nonsense.
Darla, you are killing me in these comments! 😂 hahahaha!
No Sarah’s show is very diverse in guests. They tend to be activists of colour and it’s so rare to see this because we’re often exposed to pundits on TV. And yes, kink shaming is real. BTW, Darla, blocking someone you don’t know on Twitter is ridiculous. Esp a comic. Just mute her. I don’t even have Trump blocked. Makes you appear like you can’t hear opposing thoughts. The opposite of her show’s thesis.
Kink shaming is not a thing. A kink or fetish is, by definition, an abnormal behavior. You put mustard on your taco, I’m gonna call you out. You masturbate in front of your friends or let them do it in front of you, I’m gonna tell you it’s disgusting. Geez, some shame is part of life. We don’t have to normalize everything because someone wants a free pass to do gross stuff without judgment.
what is the purpose of revealing this? is it to absolve CK for similar behavior with others???
He didn’t merely “whip it out” and masturbate. He’d do it standing in front of the closed door, so women could not exit.
Desperate hag.
Never liked her, never found her funny, always knew she was disgusting. Now it’s completely out for the world to see.
Peak ‘cool girl’, y’all.
Odd how the woman who went along with this has a high-profile comedy career, and the ones who didn’t got sidelined.
I’m confused because I read the same interview and my impression was that was exactly what she was saying …
I have never, ever, ever, ever found her funny.
Kink between to willing, able, consenting adult sexual explorers is to be celebrated and enjoyed. I have no idea what is effing going on here though man I can’t unpack and sort through everyone’s baggage and what the what am I even reading man. I don’t know.
Celebrities, you want to do good? Everyone stop talking to the press for about a year. A bunch of you all at once just stop talking. And if you say a word just say “Impeach It” and then nothing else. Why is everyone so messed up and stupid wtf
I don’t get the point of revealing this. I believe her that she was comfortable with this (why? and ew,. but in this instance I can believe she consented since she says so) but she also has to know that anything she says could be taken out of context in a soundbite. Maybe she was trying to contextualize different perceptions of the same behaviour depending one one’s relationship with the man, but when it comes to issues like this you have to be super-articulate and make sure everybody hears your entire point (which I’m not sure most of us will unless we’re actually willing to listen to an entire Howard Stern interview.) Entertainers think in mysterious ways.
Also, how did he not have the common sense that not every woman was going to find this funny? When it comes to nudity and sexual matters, view points are always diverging. I suppose comedians believe they have to take risks, but you can’t force people to find the same things funny as you do. This obstinacy from comedians has always been a bit baffling to me.
Women like this are fascinating to me. I’ve NEVER liked men this much to want their approval this desperately and I’ve lived a pretty ok life because of it. Not to say I don’t have great male friends but It just seems she’s put up with a lot of inappropriate behavior from the men in her life and shrugs it off as just one of those things.
I don’t understand what pleasure she got from seeing him do that? Were they more than friends at one point? I’m left to assume that she also masturbated in front of him? If I friend zone a man, I certainly don’t want to see him jerking off. I’m disappointed in her for saying this. It seems like she’s trying to justify what he did by saying she was okay with it.
I think it’s amazing that this talentless hag still has a career.
What deeply disturbs me about Sarah Silverman is her public conversations sound like a desperate cry for help. Is she actually saying, my parents didn’t set boundaries for me and I don’t know how? Is the next headline for Sarah is that she has committed suicide?
This interview isn’t doing Sarah or CK any favors. What a bunch of weirdos!! Apparently this guy has a lot of heavy hitters as friends who don’t want him to be ostracized like others with his same behavior or less. Pretty gross and disappointing. It’s stunning Sarah trying to normalize this behavior.
As much as I don’t like her, she apologized and was forgiven. Her apology was pretty good! And in all fairness, she was asked about it. She didn’t just bring it up. It stinks that she keeps getting asked about it. She shouldn’t have to talk about his reprehensible behavior.
I don’t like her comedy at all and don’t understand why she has a career, but I don’t quite get the outrage here. This is a story about consenting adults and friends who’d sometimes do this weird thing together that they apparently both enjoyed. She goes out of her way to establish that because they were professional equals, the situation was different than when he exposed himself to young women who were just starting out.
Timing, context…
So what if her friend masturbated in front of her and she was okay with it. Did CK whip it out at Sunday brunch with his mom? No? Then he both understood context, and had the ability to differentiate special time with Sarah and time with everybody else. So what she is saying changes nothing.
Why does she feel the need to dig her friend out of a hole he put himself in and felt justfied in digging in the first place? If he’s as justfied as he feels no one needs to cape for him, let him get on with it. I don’t see him flying a cape for her.
Oh and she’ll probably regret saying that because now randos will feel that it’s okay to wank in front of her apropos of nothing. Perhaps Stern can re-visit this topic with her in 25 years, and we’ll see how it goes over then.
What a strange thing to admit too.