Donald Trump: Ted Cruz is ‘not Lyin’ Ted anymore, he’s Beautiful Ted’

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Who do you hate more, Donald Trump or Ted “Zodiac Killer” Cruz? I think I hate Trump more, but don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loathe Ted Cruz, who is arguably the most spineless piece of crap to ever exist. During the Republican primary in 2016, Trump made fun of Heidi Cruz’s appearance. Trump suggested that Ted Cruz’s father was part of the plot to assassinate JFK. Trump called Cruz “Lyin’ Ted” constantly. But by the time Trump won the nomination, Cruz was ready to get on his knees to service Trump. And now Cruz is facing a tough re-election battle in Texas (GO BETO), so Trump flew down to help stump for Cruz. Before Trump even left the White House, he was asked about his “Lyin’ Ted” pejorative, and this happened:

Beautiful Ted… my God. This is just another reminder that Beto O’Rourke is actually pretty hot, and Beto isn’t the Zodiac Killer. Trump was also asked about his previous suggestion that Beautiful Ted’s father killed JFK, and Trump said: “I don’t regret anything, honestly. It all worked out, very nicely.” I laughed. None of it stopped Cruz from waiting on the tarmac for Air Force One to arrive, or from bending over backwards to kiss Trump’s ass.

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48 Responses to “Donald Trump: Ted Cruz is ‘not Lyin’ Ted anymore, he’s Beautiful Ted’”

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  1. Escondista says:

    Sitting here in Austin, disgusted by our representation.

    • Scal says:

      In Houston-grossed out by the whole thing. And all these jabronis left trash EVERYWHERE. Discovery green was a mess with signs, left over chairs, pizza boxes etc. Not that I’m surprised.

    • Sarah B says:

      My rage can boil this water.

      • Kate Foister says:

        Also disgusted by how brazenly he essentially admits he calls people liars just to suit his needs at the time. So, he was a liar then, but now he’s on your team he’s not? I hate these people.

      • kristen says:

        Austin here, too. Ready to brush my teeth in Topo Chico.

    • Sinequanon313 says:

      Seething in DFW.

    • Anna S says:

      Dallas girl, living in the UK – voted for Beto by absentee ballot. So embarrassed by Cruz and Trump.

  2. Lightpurple says:

    World Series starts tonight. That will distract me for the next week.

    • Beth says:

      Can’t wait. My guys are the perfect distraction. Let’s go Red Sox!!!! 👏👏👏

      • Lightpurple says:

        I’ve been playing the Dropkick Murphys since I woke up this morning. Drown out all the Trump.

    • Esmom says:

      My son had high hopes for the Brewers but now that they’re out he’s all in on the Sox. We have great memories of watching a game at Fenway when the kids were younger and we have the Theo Epstein connection with our Cubs. Enjoy!

      • Lightpurple says:

        Love Theo. Fenway is a magical place.

      • HelloSunshine says:

        Esmom- I felt so sad for my friends out here that are Brewers fans! I don’t even root for them (Sorry not sorry, I’m not originally from Wi) but my friends were so hyped about the Brewers making it so far.

        Sports are definitely a welcome distraction in my house. Can’t stand the anxiety that comes with this administration.

      • Beth says:

        I miss Fenway Park. I used to go to Red Sox games and eat delicious Fenway franks at magical Fenway every week until I moved to Florida

        Sports, especially my hometown Boston teams, have always been a great distraction from stressful situations

      • Kitten says:

        I’m personally pumped for a Dodgers-Sox series. I was in Cali to watch the Dodgers win with all my fam and it was really fun!

        Fenway is such a special stadium–nothing else like it. I had the pleasure of going to a couple games this year and the last one, which was a little over a month ago, we were a few rows behind home plate (my job does have some perks!) and it was such an incredible experience.

        Like all of you, grateful for the distraction and looking forward to cuddling with BF and cats tonight while we watch the game :)

  3. RBC says:

    Okay, is this some type of elaborate reality show/joke on the world written by SNL and Late Night comics?
    Everyday brings a fresh “WTF?” moment

    • Beth says:

      Trump is a gold mine for SNL and late night comics. They don’t even have to make up the shit to joke about, it’s handed right to them on a platter

  4. Tate says:

    I still can’t believe so many people voted for this f@cking idiot reality show host.

    • aang says:

      This just reinforces my thoughts that most people really are stupid, mean, and easily tricked. It’s why I have crafted a life that allows me to spend most of my time at home, alone, with my cats. They are smart, sweet, and can’t be fooled twice.

      • jwoolman says:

        Cats are also honest and don’t fake feelings they don’t have. Dogs are more like humans and can lie occasionally….

        Our old vet said that cats are like human five year olds, they can’t hide their emotions. You know exactly what they think, good or bad.

        I’ve told people to just bury me alive in the back yard rather than shifting me off to live with other humans in my old age. I don’t like my own species that much. I really just want to live with cats.

    • Christin says:

      Not only voted, but continue to support the nonsense, lies, etc. I don’t understand how anyone can be that partisan.

  5. Esmom says:

    “Beautiful Ted.” Gah. Trump is so idiotic. Even worse is his promise that the middle class is getting tax cut and when pressed didn’t seem to realize or understand that Congress is not in session.

    I want Beto to win so badly but I fear it’s just not gonna happen. The deplorables are fired up.

    • dietcokehead says:

      I don’t think Beto will win, sadly. At least not this time.

    • Agirlandherdog says:

      I would really love to see Dems go hard on tv ads with clips of all these people contradicting themselves. Just buy up ALL the slots and continue to show how they lie and contradict themselves, over and over again. That’s what people need. They need it pushed in their faces constantly. Stop taking the high road Dems. Stop saying “it’s not worth it,” instead of pointing out the inaccuracies and lies. It probably won’t make a difference, but it would sure as hell make me feel better for Trumpsters to have a neverending reminder of what they voted for.

      • Prettykrazee says:

        THIS! I said this on a post the other day. Where are the ads about that Tax Cut? Where are the ads tying the deficit to that tax cut? Where is Mitch McConnell saying he’s coming after Entitlements ads? I haven’t seen any! I seen my Democratic Senator that up for re-election saying he wants to Fund The Wall! SMH! Because all I can think when I watch his ads are if you are saying you are just like the Republican Candidate why not just vote for the Republican since there’s no difference?

  6. Beth says:

    Hopefully we’ll be able to call him “unelecTED Ted” soon. Vote Beto! Elect Beautiful Beto

  7. Rapunzel says:

    I guess Ted has to be beautiful because according to Trump his (Cruz’s) wife isn’t. I still can’t believe that spineless mofo is kissing trumps butt after he insulted his wife and father.

    • dietcokehead says:

      Cruz knows where his bread is buttered, and the people voting for him love Donald Trump. Of course he’s going to act like bygones are bygones. It’s his best chance to stay in office.

  8. jessamine says:

    The Houston police chief Art Acevedo had the most hilarious, perfect shade on Twitter yesterday — totally called out Trump and Cruz’s combined inability to fill the toyota center by tweeting that everyone there was well behaved and there “was room for about six thousand more.” Also made sure to get the giant Trump Baby Blimp in all the exterior shots of the rally. Twas awesome.

    • AMAyson1977 says:

      Art Acevedo is awesome and he is NOT HERE for this trumpy bullish!t. My kids have a school holiday today for teacher development, so we are going to early vote here in a little bit. Can’t wait to vote for Beto and I am hopeful that the record-breaking early voting turnout here in Houston helps propel him to victory!!

    • Justjj says:

      This makes me so happy. This kind of thing always makes me uncomfortably clinging to anything that could make me happy right now, happy.

  9. Chef Grace says:

    Living in Texas , I find Cruz, Paxton and the Guv are all good old boy shitfucks.
    I hope they all go away. I have my doubts. I am sure the orange white supremacist has bought these mid terms. We may get a few wins just to keep the masses in check. I hope I am wrong but these last two years have been lies and more lies. And this administration has gotten away with it.

    • Swack says:

      Add the lie that they are working on a 10% tax cut for the middle class and are working on it 24/7.

      • Save Mueller says:

        And the lie that the caravan is made up of people paid by Democrats, which I saw some dumb POS GOP supporter repeat on the news.

    • Elyna says:

      I’m right here with you, Chef Grace. They are a horrible group of kissasses in a circle-jerk. Governor Abbott (disabled-wheelchair) voting Big Business over Civil Rights for Persons with Disabilities blows my mind. Have spoken with his office on several occasions; and, the rhetoric the spew is nothing but belittlement. Cruz is the same, with extra creepy mofo on top. I’m putting my effort towards Beto & hoping he wins. I’m not sure I can stomach more of Cruz’s antics. He is pure sleaze. Something in our State HAS to change for the better!

  10. Jerusha says:

    I hate drumpf more and am still praying for you know what. Can’t wait to dance and spit on the hole containing his rotting corpse.

  11. Eric says:

    Cruz kissed Emperor Zero’s ring last night.

    And EZ called himself a nationalist.

    Crowds cheered.

    Enough said.

  12. Abby says:

    I live in Fort Worth, Texas, and lots of people I know are planning to vote for Beto. But I am worried it’s not going to be enough. There’s lots more people here that are die hard republicans and somehow (???) love Cruz. I’ve seen like three Cruz signs in my neighborhood and at least a dozen Beto ones, but I really don’t know if he can pull it off. As much as I would like him to be elected, I am apprehensive.

    • macky says:

      Hi Ft Worth! I am down in Alpine (above Big Bend). We had a line going out of the voting building all day, the first time in 40 years and a population of less than 6K;) But there are some die hard GOPS out here. I think a few are more Trump 2020 then even Cruz, but the Beto love is STRONG!! The majority of signs are BETO and local GOP offices…Solidarity and hope, inshallah.

      • kristen says:

        Hello Alpine! (Who knew there were so many Texans here?!)
        I’ve always wanted to visit the Big Bend area. Looks beautiful.

  13. Christin says:

    Younger voters have to vote. I went to early voting last week, and was the only person under 55 there. There were elderly people on walkers waiting in line.

    If people can wait in line for hours for a new phone or tickets, hopefully they’ll take time to vote. The 40-under age group has a whole lot to lose, too.

  14. Valerie says:

    This guy flip-flops more than a dying fish at the bottom of a boat.

  15. Tx_mom says:

    Weeeelllll I have a little story for you… the Toyota Center holds 18,000. Trump was crowing about 70,000 people having registered for his rally. 12,000 showed up per Acevedo.

    Meanwhile, back on the Internet, Beto supporters were registering for pairs of tickets in order to NOT go. So no matter how many jabrones were there in-person, remember that Beto ticket-trollers outnumbered them 2.5 to 1! #callmeaBetotickettroller

    • Christin says:

      He came to my region a couple of weeks ago, and the (small) city’s paper later published claims it was a “record” crowd. The older venue had its heyday in the 1970s – it only holds 6-7,000.

      Tickets could be gotten online, so many more had tickets than that. Some just wanted to see a president, since it has been 40 years since such a visit. One of my co-workers left work to drive an extra hour, find parking, stand in line and not be able to get in. I silently laughed as she came in the next morning, tired and frustrated.

  16. Rianic says:

    I had my 12 year old daughter watch the Kavanaugh hearings with me, because I wanted to open the discussion about consent, about fighting for herself, about women’s rights – all of it.

    Ted Cruz came on the screen “Momma, is that Eddie from the Munsters?”

    Yes, darling, it is!!!

  17. holly hobby says:

    Ugh that comment gave me the major skeeves. Heidi, now is the time to leave your trash hubby. 50 matinee idol looks or not (HA!) the disloyalty is enough to break up the marriage.

    Spineless Rafael – I bet your dad is rolling in his grave.

  18. Amelie says:

    I really thought this headline was a joke when I saw it pop up on my phone this morning but when I saw the exact headline here I was like what in the world is going on. I thought maybe the media was just having fun with Trump’s stupid nicknames, like he somehow casually dropped “Beautiful Ted” as in he’s doing a beautiful job or something and the media was being snarky how he was no longer Lyin’ Ted Cruz. But no Trump actually announced he had rechristened him Beautiful Ted Cruz… I think I might just turn off the newsflashes on my phone, I really don’t want anymore of this idiot’s quotes blowing up my phone and my brain.